WEBVTT 1 00:00:02.240 --> 00:00:05.360 Welcome to break Free and Trust a redesign for living. 2 00:00:05.759 --> 00:00:06.839 Join me, Chris and. 3 00:00:06.879 --> 00:00:11.320 Me Jacqueline for real conversations about life, death, and everything 4 00:00:11.359 --> 00:00:11.839 in between. 5 00:00:12.039 --> 00:00:14.640 Learn to connect with your intrinsic power to grow and heal, 6 00:00:14.800 --> 00:00:16.879 how to laugh at your own humanness and not take 7 00:00:16.960 --> 00:00:17.839 life too seriously. 8 00:00:17.960 --> 00:00:21.920 Through healthy conversations between the feminine and masculine, you learn 9 00:00:21.960 --> 00:00:24.719 how to harness the power of relationship and the mirror, 10 00:00:24.760 --> 00:00:27.760 to befriend your shadow, and to trust that any obstacle 11 00:00:27.839 --> 00:00:30.359 that gets in your way is there to help you grow. 12 00:00:30.359 --> 00:00:33.079 Together. Working at a practical levels, you learn to trust 13 00:00:33.119 --> 00:00:36.000 that everything that is happening is for you, your growth and 14 00:00:36.159 --> 00:00:36.880 ultimate freedom. 15 00:00:37.000 --> 00:00:40.479 Our circumstances don't matter, it's only how we relate to 16 00:00:40.520 --> 00:00:41.159 them that does. 17 00:00:41.439 --> 00:00:43.280 Get ready to be your friend the wisdom of your 18 00:00:43.320 --> 00:00:44.560 body and the power. 19 00:00:44.280 --> 00:00:47.600 Of your mind. Break Free and Trust starts now. 20 00:00:51.399 --> 00:00:53.799 And Welcome to break Free and Trust. Are redesigned for Living. 21 00:00:53.880 --> 00:00:56.079 I'm Chris, my name Jacqueline. 22 00:00:56.399 --> 00:00:58.719 One of the first teachings that Jacqueline ever shared with 23 00:00:58.759 --> 00:01:01.039 me was that the most important decision you will ever 24 00:01:01.079 --> 00:01:04.000 make is your answer to a single question. Is the 25 00:01:04.120 --> 00:01:08.480 universe benevolent? Because whoever you answer it. That answer becomes 26 00:01:08.480 --> 00:01:11.359 the lens which you see your whole life through. Jacque 27 00:01:11.400 --> 00:01:13.599 and I have come to believe almost nothing shapes a 28 00:01:13.599 --> 00:01:16.920 person's perspective more than this one choice. Answered that it's 29 00:01:16.959 --> 00:01:19.879 hostile and every hardship is proof that you're under attack. 30 00:01:20.439 --> 00:01:23.719 Answer that it's benevolent, and that very same heartship becomes 31 00:01:23.840 --> 00:01:27.359 something happening for you and not to you, an invitation 32 00:01:27.519 --> 00:01:31.200 rather than a punishment. Same life, completely different world. In 33 00:01:31.239 --> 00:01:34.040 this episode we're going to explore. We're going to explore 34 00:01:34.079 --> 00:01:37.040 and look at more deeply this idea. What do we 35 00:01:37.079 --> 00:01:39.920 actually mean by a benevolent universe? And is believing it 36 00:01:40.040 --> 00:01:44.280 just wishful thinking? If it's a benevolent universe, then what 37 00:01:44.359 --> 00:01:48.480 do we do with suffering, cruelty and loss? And how 38 00:01:48.480 --> 00:01:51.159 to soul contracts? Quantum physics and the frequency of conscience 39 00:01:51.200 --> 00:01:53.400 is fit into any in all of this, all this 40 00:01:53.480 --> 00:01:55.799 in more the next hour and it's a live show, 41 00:01:55.840 --> 00:01:58.680 so for live years, please put your questions in the 42 00:01:58.760 --> 00:02:01.840 chat or call in at nine three zero to eight 43 00:02:01.879 --> 00:02:05.120 one nine and we'll take some questions in the second half. 44 00:02:06.280 --> 00:02:10.000 All right, you know what, let's get roll in with 45 00:02:10.080 --> 00:02:14.360 where I started. So Jack was teaching you shared with me, 46 00:02:14.439 --> 00:02:16.439 and when it's one of the first things I remember 47 00:02:16.439 --> 00:02:18.680 you ever saying in one of the classes I took 48 00:02:18.680 --> 00:02:22.879 of years of this idea about the benevolent universe and 49 00:02:22.919 --> 00:02:25.280 the most important question you have to ask. Can you 50 00:02:25.319 --> 00:02:27.719 take picks back to that and what you meant by 51 00:02:27.759 --> 00:02:30.520 it or what you mean by it? Well? 52 00:02:30.840 --> 00:02:34.560 I can, But I'm curious about something because I don't 53 00:02:34.599 --> 00:02:37.639 remember the day that I said it, and that it 54 00:02:37.759 --> 00:02:42.120 landed so deeply for you. I'm wondering what hit you 55 00:02:42.240 --> 00:02:44.520 so hard in that statement when I spoke it. 56 00:02:46.680 --> 00:02:49.919 Yeah, I think for me, it's just as it wasn't 57 00:02:49.960 --> 00:02:52.599 the very first time I met you, when I was 58 00:02:52.639 --> 00:02:55.759 sort of going through my stuff. It was months later, 59 00:02:55.800 --> 00:03:00.159 when i'd already started this, you know, spiritual emergence, if 60 00:03:00.159 --> 00:03:04.759 you will, and I and i'd started studying some spiritual 61 00:03:05.080 --> 00:03:07.599 teachings and whatnot. But I just think as the way 62 00:03:07.639 --> 00:03:11.520 it was phrased, I never thought about what that meant. 63 00:03:11.639 --> 00:03:14.879 I never, I guess, had never placed a direction or 64 00:03:15.280 --> 00:03:18.280 objective on the universe. I sort of thought as being 65 00:03:18.360 --> 00:03:21.719 something that was relatively inert. But when you asked that question, 66 00:03:21.800 --> 00:03:26.000 it really landed with me that actually I was feeling 67 00:03:26.000 --> 00:03:27.800 into that there is something a lot more to this, 68 00:03:28.159 --> 00:03:31.360 that there is something driving in the direction, and it 69 00:03:31.360 --> 00:03:33.319 made me really deeply think about it and what that 70 00:03:33.319 --> 00:03:35.360 actually meant for my life. It really hit me. 71 00:03:38.439 --> 00:03:41.000 Yeah, I wish I remember. It's not my statement, so 72 00:03:41.080 --> 00:03:43.919 I wish I remember where it all heard it from originally. 73 00:03:47.759 --> 00:03:50.000 But I guess there's new idea. There's no new ideas 74 00:03:50.000 --> 00:03:55.719 out there anyways, just recycled ones or shifts some perspective. 75 00:03:59.520 --> 00:04:01.680 I think, well, I can tell you what it means 76 00:04:01.719 --> 00:04:04.039 to me now. I don't know exactly what it meant 77 00:04:04.039 --> 00:04:06.120 to me when I spoke it then, because I don't remember. 78 00:04:14.759 --> 00:04:20.480 At the end of the day, we can either see 79 00:04:21.040 --> 00:04:23.879 the world, the universe, and everything in it, so our 80 00:04:24.000 --> 00:04:30.279 interactions are the events that happen in our lives. We 81 00:04:30.319 --> 00:04:32.319 can either and you and I have said this so 82 00:04:32.480 --> 00:04:36.279 many times on this podcast, that's happening to us or 83 00:04:36.319 --> 00:04:41.800 happening for us, And if we experience life from the 84 00:04:41.839 --> 00:04:45.480 perspective that it's happening for us, which is where I 85 00:04:45.480 --> 00:04:49.959 say benevolent or where I would use the word benevolent, 86 00:04:50.839 --> 00:04:57.560 then everything that happens in our lives is designed to 87 00:04:57.759 --> 00:05:05.879 help us actualize, help us come back into alignment with 88 00:05:06.040 --> 00:05:15.360 who we are, help us come home to remember who 89 00:05:15.399 --> 00:05:19.639 we are. If, however, we hold the perspective that the 90 00:05:19.800 --> 00:05:23.879 universe is out to get us, or that the events 91 00:05:23.879 --> 00:05:32.839 that happen in our lives we are victims to the 92 00:05:32.879 --> 00:05:37.759 world looks like a pretty hard place, and it doesn't 93 00:05:37.800 --> 00:05:40.199 give us a whole lot of agency, and it doesn't 94 00:05:40.199 --> 00:05:43.759 give us a whole lot of power. And I'm not 95 00:05:43.839 --> 00:05:48.879 talking about the kind of power over I'm talking about 96 00:05:50.279 --> 00:05:53.800 inherent power, the kind of power that has us connect 97 00:05:53.839 --> 00:05:56.439 to something bigger than we are, not just our own 98 00:05:56.480 --> 00:05:59.800 little selves walking through the world. And so I guess 99 00:05:59.839 --> 00:06:02.040 it's it's a really long way of saying. What I 100 00:06:02.079 --> 00:06:10.000 mean by benevolent is is the universe. It's funny, I 101 00:06:10.000 --> 00:06:16.439 feel like I've lost my words today. Just give me 102 00:06:16.480 --> 00:06:29.040 half a second. At the end of the day, our 103 00:06:29.120 --> 00:06:35.399 perspective on life is all we've got. And if our 104 00:06:35.439 --> 00:06:40.519 perspective is that every experience that we have is designed 105 00:06:40.519 --> 00:06:44.680 to help us grow into the person that we are 106 00:06:44.720 --> 00:06:53.920 meant to become, then this whole wild ride becomes an adventure. If, however, 107 00:06:54.879 --> 00:06:58.879 we think that what's being presented to us, whether it's 108 00:06:58.920 --> 00:07:05.040 an accident, it's an illness, it's you know, losing something. 109 00:07:05.360 --> 00:07:11.720 It's a job that gets a job, that we acquire, 110 00:07:11.800 --> 00:07:15.240 our job that we lose, events that are happening with 111 00:07:15.279 --> 00:07:18.079 our kids that we really don't have a lot of 112 00:07:18.120 --> 00:07:22.560 control over. If we assume that there's no relevance to that, 113 00:07:23.399 --> 00:07:25.519 or that the universe is out to get us and 114 00:07:25.600 --> 00:07:30.160 poor me or woe is me, then our lives become 115 00:07:30.519 --> 00:07:35.920 very painful, and actually our lives become one huge reaction. 116 00:07:39.560 --> 00:07:40.879 I hope that answers your question. 117 00:07:42.079 --> 00:07:44.720 It does, and it's interesting, you know what showed up 118 00:07:44.720 --> 00:07:47.240 for me there there's a little bit of like, at 119 00:07:47.279 --> 00:07:49.959 least how we're opening with it's it's a bit of 120 00:07:50.120 --> 00:07:57.079 a Pascal's wager, and what that is is this, okay, 121 00:07:57.439 --> 00:07:59.120 So it's like it's this famous thing when it came 122 00:07:59.160 --> 00:08:01.519 to the existence of God. And Pascal is a famous 123 00:08:01.519 --> 00:08:05.879 French mathematician the seventeenth century and philosopher who just said, listen, 124 00:08:05.959 --> 00:08:09.199 put it this way. If you believe in it, if 125 00:08:09.240 --> 00:08:12.160 you if you believe in an infinite God and infant 126 00:08:12.240 --> 00:08:15.800 God exists, then there's lots of upside. If you believe 127 00:08:15.800 --> 00:08:18.480 in infant God, it doesn't exist, there's probably no downside. 128 00:08:18.759 --> 00:08:21.279 But if you don't believe in an infinite god and 129 00:08:21.319 --> 00:08:24.360 it does exist, that's going to be problematic. So you're 130 00:08:24.399 --> 00:08:25.920 just you're just way better off when you look at 131 00:08:25.920 --> 00:08:28.040 the probably of outcome to just just be a believer, 132 00:08:28.560 --> 00:08:31.079 because there's really no downside in it. There's lots of 133 00:08:31.120 --> 00:08:33.639 downside in not believing, in not living your life that way. 134 00:08:34.399 --> 00:08:37.200 And what I'm hearing with in this is there's a 135 00:08:37.840 --> 00:08:40.519 there's a positioning and a framing and perspective of life 136 00:08:40.559 --> 00:08:43.840 that you're just going to be better off regardless if 137 00:08:43.840 --> 00:08:46.399 you position yourself for a benevolent universe, whether it's true 138 00:08:46.440 --> 00:08:46.679 or not. 139 00:08:48.759 --> 00:08:54.240 I think that's absolutely true. Yeah, I think that's absolutely true, 140 00:08:54.799 --> 00:08:56.320 and I know it. I mean I know it to 141 00:08:56.360 --> 00:09:03.279 be true in my every day Yeah, what does it 142 00:09:03.360 --> 00:09:06.480 mean to you to live in a benevolent universe? 143 00:09:10.440 --> 00:09:12.480 And it's interesting because I think when I when I 144 00:09:12.519 --> 00:09:14.559 first went down this road, it was very much how 145 00:09:14.559 --> 00:09:18.279 I described in this Pascal Wager. It's like, I think 146 00:09:18.279 --> 00:09:20.679 I'm better off just believing that, and I'm better off. 147 00:09:20.759 --> 00:09:22.960 I'm better off framing things that are happening for me 148 00:09:23.360 --> 00:09:27.080 that everything is an opportunity. Everything has a reason in it. 149 00:09:27.120 --> 00:09:28.679 And if I can just if I can just position 150 00:09:28.759 --> 00:09:31.039 that way, I'm going to have more inner peace and 151 00:09:31.080 --> 00:09:33.960 happiness and I'll learn more lessons. And that's unequippally true. 152 00:09:34.440 --> 00:09:37.080 I believe that's a better way to live life. But 153 00:09:37.120 --> 00:09:38.639 it means much more to me than that. 154 00:09:38.720 --> 00:09:38.879 Now. 155 00:09:38.879 --> 00:09:44.440 It's like my lived experience here now is I'll unequivally say, 156 00:09:44.519 --> 00:09:48.519 I know the universe has been evolent. My own personal 157 00:09:48.559 --> 00:09:51.360 experience tells you unequivalently, I know I live in a 158 00:09:51.360 --> 00:09:57.039 benevolent universe, and the creative intelligence that runs through this 159 00:09:57.559 --> 00:10:01.840 universe is benevolent, and and it's in my view it's 160 00:10:01.840 --> 00:10:04.679 the frequency of love. That's what I experience on a 161 00:10:04.759 --> 00:10:08.720 daily basis now, far beyond the intellectual exercise that I 162 00:10:08.720 --> 00:10:11.360 went through originally. And I don't know if I needed 163 00:10:11.360 --> 00:10:12.799 you to the first to get to the second, but 164 00:10:12.799 --> 00:10:13.840 that's how I experience it. 165 00:10:15.320 --> 00:10:18.679 Well, I have two questions from that state, and well, 166 00:10:18.759 --> 00:10:21.879 actually a comment first, which is you know, when you 167 00:10:22.879 --> 00:10:26.600 just described the first beginning, like the beginning of that piece, 168 00:10:27.320 --> 00:10:29.559 what I would say is it actually sounds a little 169 00:10:29.559 --> 00:10:34.639 bit fluffy. It sounds a little bit in some ways 170 00:10:34.639 --> 00:10:37.840 it could even sound like bypassing, right, Like everything that 171 00:10:37.879 --> 00:10:40.679 happens is for me, everything is an opportunity to grow. 172 00:10:40.759 --> 00:10:45.399 It's all wonderful, and it's not. It's not all wonderful, 173 00:10:45.759 --> 00:10:48.840 and it doesn't always feel like an opportunity to grow. 174 00:10:49.440 --> 00:10:53.080 A lot of this feels really painful. And I say 175 00:10:53.080 --> 00:10:56.600 that because when we're talking, we're not talking about very 176 00:10:56.720 --> 00:11:01.039 fairy shit here, guys. We're talking about like really getting 177 00:11:01.039 --> 00:11:04.919 into the trenches and being in the present moment with 178 00:11:05.000 --> 00:11:11.960 what life gives us or gifts us. And we'll get 179 00:11:11.960 --> 00:11:14.559 into that a little bit more after. But the second 180 00:11:14.600 --> 00:11:17.200 piece that you spoke to, which I find really interesting, 181 00:11:17.320 --> 00:11:20.360 is it's not very often that you use the words 182 00:11:20.440 --> 00:11:24.159 I know. You really approach life with a tremendous amount 183 00:11:24.200 --> 00:11:30.039 of curiosity, and you often speak to not knowing and 184 00:11:30.120 --> 00:11:34.320 to holding the position of not knowing. What about this 185 00:11:35.320 --> 00:11:37.279 is so different for you? How do you know? 186 00:11:41.000 --> 00:11:42.679 I want to feel like I want to address the 187 00:11:42.679 --> 00:11:45.159 first thing you said first, which is, and you're totally 188 00:11:45.200 --> 00:11:48.360 right that the starting point is the floppiness. It is 189 00:11:48.399 --> 00:11:53.960 spiritual bypassing. But I've come to wonder if that's part 190 00:11:53.960 --> 00:11:56.480 of the step in this is it's stake it till 191 00:11:56.519 --> 00:11:58.600 you make it, but you've got to believe it. And 192 00:11:58.759 --> 00:12:00.639 that was the starting point. So yeah, one hundred percent, 193 00:12:00.679 --> 00:12:03.600 spirits will bypassing until it's not, which gets me to 194 00:12:03.600 --> 00:12:04.279 the second question. 195 00:12:04.960 --> 00:12:07.360 But before you go there, fake it till you make it, 196 00:12:07.399 --> 00:12:09.840 but you've got to believe it. I don't think you 197 00:12:09.919 --> 00:12:14.840 actually get the place of believing it until you've faked 198 00:12:14.840 --> 00:12:19.000 it for a while, right, Yeah, it takes time to 199 00:12:19.039 --> 00:12:21.360 get to the place where you can truly believe it. 200 00:12:21.639 --> 00:12:23.440 And I think that that's what you're speaking to, this 201 00:12:23.559 --> 00:12:30.279 place of knowing. You know it then, because why how 202 00:12:30.320 --> 00:12:30.840 do you know it? 203 00:12:34.240 --> 00:12:37.720 So that's the that's the inner voice, the inner dweller 204 00:12:38.240 --> 00:12:41.200 that I connect to. Now. It's like we talked to 205 00:12:41.279 --> 00:12:45.480 our last podcast on intuition, and it's that place inside 206 00:12:45.600 --> 00:12:50.279 when I want to turn all the the outside noise 207 00:12:50.320 --> 00:12:53.600 off and come inside and then connect with you know 208 00:12:53.639 --> 00:12:57.759 what I'll call God consciousness or christ consciousness or love consciousness. 209 00:12:58.080 --> 00:13:01.120 That's what I experience. That's the that's the knowing that 210 00:13:01.240 --> 00:13:05.240 shows up. That's the that's the voice or the or 211 00:13:05.279 --> 00:13:09.320 the positionality that I connect with. And it's always the same. 212 00:13:11.159 --> 00:13:13.399 So I'm going to dumb this down a little bit. 213 00:13:18.360 --> 00:13:23.840 Can you give our listeners examples of how you know 214 00:13:23.960 --> 00:13:28.240 this to be true? How do you know through your 215 00:13:28.240 --> 00:13:31.759 own life experience, or through the experience of your clients 216 00:13:31.879 --> 00:13:34.240 or the men that you work with, that we live 217 00:13:34.279 --> 00:13:35.440 in a benevolent universe. 218 00:13:37.639 --> 00:13:44.200 I've never seen a situation for happening arise that didn't 219 00:13:44.440 --> 00:13:46.679 that didn't lead to a place of Ultimately, the answer 220 00:13:46.799 --> 00:13:50.600 was love that ultimately the answer wasn't to move to 221 00:13:50.639 --> 00:13:54.159 position yourself to a place of love, which is the 222 00:13:54.320 --> 00:13:56.320 which is the flow and the frequency of the universe. 223 00:13:56.559 --> 00:13:59.639 I'm struggling here because it's very it's an ineffable concept 224 00:14:00.360 --> 00:14:00.919 to explain. 225 00:14:01.639 --> 00:14:02.240 Can I try? 226 00:14:02.759 --> 00:14:03.480 Yeah, please try. 227 00:14:03.759 --> 00:14:06.279 We'll see if you come back to it, because you 228 00:14:06.440 --> 00:14:10.440 keep bringing us back to this ineffable piece and I 229 00:14:10.480 --> 00:14:13.360 actually want to make this just really raw and real. 230 00:14:13.759 --> 00:14:16.720 Yeah we'll get there. Yeah, Okay. 231 00:14:17.000 --> 00:14:23.120 So, in the work that I do in my life 232 00:14:23.279 --> 00:14:26.039 as a mom, in my life as a friend, as 233 00:14:26.039 --> 00:14:33.840 a wife, as a daughter, and as a sister, more 234 00:14:33.919 --> 00:14:37.799 and more I am aware that there are two ways 235 00:14:37.879 --> 00:14:46.679 to respond to what's happening. One is to jump into drama. 236 00:14:47.120 --> 00:14:49.440 And for me and my experience, what drama looks like 237 00:14:49.679 --> 00:14:56.519 is resistance to what's happening. Stories about why what's happening 238 00:14:56.600 --> 00:15:01.440 isn't okay, stories about why what some he's doing isn't okay. 239 00:15:02.440 --> 00:15:06.799 Story is about how where our kids are at, where 240 00:15:07.759 --> 00:15:10.960 our work is at, where life is at, where that's 241 00:15:11.039 --> 00:15:17.960 not okay. And the more I watch both myself and 242 00:15:18.000 --> 00:15:21.679 the people in my world, the more I recognize that 243 00:15:21.679 --> 00:15:26.200 that is a recipe for insanity, because what is in 244 00:15:26.240 --> 00:15:31.320 this moment, what is showing up in our lives, is 245 00:15:31.360 --> 00:15:34.600 showing up in our lives, and if we meet it 246 00:15:34.639 --> 00:15:38.720 with resistance, the only thing that we have is struggle 247 00:15:38.759 --> 00:15:45.600 and suffering. If we meet it with curiosity around what 248 00:15:45.759 --> 00:15:50.000 do I have to learn here? What is this experience 249 00:15:50.320 --> 00:15:55.879 trying to teach me, not about another person, but about myself? 250 00:15:56.919 --> 00:15:59.840 What is it that's triggering me? What is it that 251 00:15:59.879 --> 00:16:03.600 I reacting to? And I can actually meet it with 252 00:16:03.759 --> 00:16:10.120 curiosity because I believe the idea that the universe is benevolent, 253 00:16:10.639 --> 00:16:14.440 which means to me that every experience that happens in 254 00:16:14.480 --> 00:16:17.879 my life, as we say in our opener, is an 255 00:16:17.919 --> 00:16:25.759 opportunity to grow. If I take it, drama starts to disappear. 256 00:16:27.679 --> 00:16:32.799 Freedom starts to show up. And I'll use a specific 257 00:16:32.919 --> 00:16:37.240 example of what I've been working on lately in relation 258 00:16:37.440 --> 00:16:49.320 to our kids, Like we have two kids in our house, 259 00:16:49.480 --> 00:16:51.960 one that's going to university, one that's going to begin 260 00:16:52.159 --> 00:16:55.679 university in the fall, and one that's in high school. 261 00:16:56.639 --> 00:16:58.879 And each one of them are showing up with their 262 00:16:58.919 --> 00:17:05.039 own stuff. The more I am able to watch my 263 00:17:05.160 --> 00:17:16.200 interactions with them and see their struggle or their their suffering, frustration, upset, sadness, fear, 264 00:17:18.759 --> 00:17:25.319 and I'm able to ask the question of myself, what's 265 00:17:25.319 --> 00:17:28.880 in this for me? And it's an interesting comment because 266 00:17:28.920 --> 00:17:31.720 that actually makes this sound like the whole world is 267 00:17:31.759 --> 00:17:35.319 about me, and I'm selfish and and I guess in 268 00:17:35.359 --> 00:17:38.640 some ways what I'm saying is it's. 269 00:17:39.759 --> 00:17:43.880 That's exactly the way, well you're saying your whole universe 270 00:17:43.880 --> 00:17:46.680 actually is inside you, which is which is true. 271 00:17:47.319 --> 00:17:49.720 Thank you, It's true. 272 00:17:50.240 --> 00:17:54.720 What I'm saying is is each one of each each 273 00:17:54.759 --> 00:17:57.119 one of these kids is going to live their lives. 274 00:17:57.200 --> 00:17:59.680 Each one of them has their own lessons to learn, yes, 275 00:18:00.119 --> 00:18:03.319 but in my interactions with each one of them, I 276 00:18:03.519 --> 00:18:08.480 have something to learn too. And if rather than looking 277 00:18:08.599 --> 00:18:12.400 at the kids just as an example, and saying, Oh, 278 00:18:12.519 --> 00:18:14.279 I can't believe we have to deal with this again, 279 00:18:14.880 --> 00:18:17.960 or why isn't this one you know, why hasn't this 280 00:18:18.000 --> 00:18:21.920 one figured this out yet? Or why is this one struggling? 281 00:18:22.240 --> 00:18:24.960 And I can actually stop and go what is it 282 00:18:25.000 --> 00:18:28.039 about this struggle or what is it about this impasse 283 00:18:28.200 --> 00:18:33.279 that's impacting me? Where am I getting triggered? And how 284 00:18:33.480 --> 00:18:38.079 is this experience delivered to me for me to grow? 285 00:18:39.599 --> 00:18:43.359 All of a sudden, I've entered this giant field of possibility, 286 00:18:44.799 --> 00:18:49.279 and from that standpoint, I can hold a growth mindset. 287 00:18:49.880 --> 00:18:52.480 From that standpoint, I can look at each of these 288 00:18:52.559 --> 00:18:55.599 experiences and rather than looking at them as something that's 289 00:18:55.599 --> 00:18:58.720 happening to me, I can see them as something that's 290 00:18:58.720 --> 00:19:01.720 happening for me. And when I can get to a 291 00:19:01.799 --> 00:19:07.039 place where I can really own that, where I'm not 292 00:19:07.119 --> 00:19:10.599 trying to control the kids' lives in any way, where 293 00:19:10.640 --> 00:19:16.359 I'm actually just working at managing my own responses to 294 00:19:16.400 --> 00:19:21.599 what's happening, a level of peace comes over me, which 295 00:19:21.640 --> 00:19:25.079 then gives me capacity to be able to meet each 296 00:19:25.160 --> 00:19:30.160 person in my life with curiosity and create a space 297 00:19:31.119 --> 00:19:36.000 that allows them to see themselves in a different way. 298 00:19:36.039 --> 00:19:39.640 But when I'm in reaction, and the reaction comes from 299 00:19:39.680 --> 00:19:41.759 why me, Why is this happening? This isn't the way 300 00:19:41.759 --> 00:19:44.359 it's supposed to be. Life shouldn't be showing up this way. 301 00:19:45.200 --> 00:19:47.119 Everything gets really chaotic and messy. 302 00:19:48.279 --> 00:19:51.559 Yeah, seriously, justting in this experience you're sharing. It's at 303 00:19:51.599 --> 00:19:54.200 all these things that happen using your children or children 304 00:19:54.240 --> 00:19:56.039 as an example, all these things that are happening that 305 00:19:56.079 --> 00:19:59.880 seem like struggle or suffering or pain or at the time, 306 00:20:00.119 --> 00:20:03.559 it's it's benevolence because it's it's actually there for the 307 00:20:03.559 --> 00:20:06.880 benefit of both you and the kids. It just it's 308 00:20:06.880 --> 00:20:08.079 just a matter of seeing it that way. 309 00:20:09.559 --> 00:20:13.599 Yes, but I can't control whether or not the people 310 00:20:13.640 --> 00:20:16.720 in my world see it that way. The only thing 311 00:20:16.799 --> 00:20:19.319 I can actually manage is whether or not I choose 312 00:20:19.359 --> 00:20:20.160 to see it that way. 313 00:20:21.519 --> 00:20:23.880 And you know that it makes total sense, and it's 314 00:20:23.920 --> 00:20:27.559 it's helped me get clarity on the question you asked me. 315 00:20:28.200 --> 00:20:30.680 And you know it's funny when you asked it, I went, 316 00:20:30.720 --> 00:20:33.079 I went, I went to think about specific client examples. 317 00:20:33.079 --> 00:20:36.400 But that's their experience. As you said, you have your experience. 318 00:20:36.440 --> 00:20:39.400 I only have mine, and so I'll certainly answer from 319 00:20:39.400 --> 00:20:43.400 my perspective, and again it started for me. It was like, 320 00:20:43.599 --> 00:20:46.480 I'm very much someone who I don't know if I 321 00:20:46.480 --> 00:20:48.599 thought the world was hostile, but I certainly thought the 322 00:20:48.599 --> 00:20:51.839 world needed to be controlled. At the very minimal I 323 00:20:51.839 --> 00:20:55.319 thought it was, you know, it was neutral, and that 324 00:20:55.440 --> 00:20:57.200 things would only happen that were good in my life 325 00:20:57.200 --> 00:20:59.880 if I made it happen. Until I got to a 326 00:21:00.039 --> 00:21:04.319 place where my actions of trying to control things didn't 327 00:21:04.359 --> 00:21:06.559 work for a well anymore, and I had to get 328 00:21:06.559 --> 00:21:09.440 out of my own way and fully surrender. And my 329 00:21:09.559 --> 00:21:13.200 first instance of surrender it was to alcoholism and addiction. 330 00:21:14.160 --> 00:21:16.400 Nothing i'd do my own power could solve that anymore. 331 00:21:16.440 --> 00:21:19.119 So I surrendered to the universe to like, if I 332 00:21:19.200 --> 00:21:20.720 just get out of my own way, what will happen? 333 00:21:21.480 --> 00:21:25.720 And sure enough, as soon as I did that, everything 334 00:21:25.759 --> 00:21:30.799 started to change in that front rapidly and miraculously. And 335 00:21:31.240 --> 00:21:34.799 in that place I really started to feel into this 336 00:21:34.880 --> 00:21:39.200 idea of surrender to the universe, of being benevolent or 337 00:21:39.519 --> 00:21:41.599 just surrendering to the universe in general. I hadn't really 338 00:21:41.640 --> 00:21:43.400 thought about whether it was benevolent or not, but I 339 00:21:44.000 --> 00:21:47.400 certainly knew what I was doing was going pushing me 340 00:21:47.440 --> 00:21:50.279 in the wrong direction. So I went to this place. 341 00:21:50.279 --> 00:21:52.640 If I've surrendered here when it comes to this alcoholism, 342 00:21:52.720 --> 00:21:55.759 what if I surrender in this place where it comes 343 00:21:55.759 --> 00:22:01.039 to relationship. Interestingly enough, things started to get materially better. 344 00:22:01.279 --> 00:22:05.599 What if I surrender in terms of career conflict, going 345 00:22:05.599 --> 00:22:08.880 through a divorce, proceeding, going through legal troubles. What if 346 00:22:08.920 --> 00:22:12.240 I keep surrendering and move to a place of powerlessness 347 00:22:12.279 --> 00:22:15.920 in each one of these categories. And sure enough, one 348 00:22:15.960 --> 00:22:19.200 by one, with one hundred percent success rate, my life 349 00:22:19.200 --> 00:22:21.920 started getting better in ways that I can't explain. It 350 00:22:22.119 --> 00:22:24.799 was miraculous. And what I realized that I was doing 351 00:22:24.880 --> 00:22:28.559 is by moving to this place of powerlessness, not pushing 352 00:22:28.559 --> 00:22:30.160 the river, but going with the flow of the river. 353 00:22:30.440 --> 00:22:33.640 It kept taking me to a place of peace, happiness, 354 00:22:33.680 --> 00:22:36.799 and enjoy that I didn't know as possible. And that's 355 00:22:36.880 --> 00:22:39.480 my experience. Is like, wait, if I just jumped into 356 00:22:39.519 --> 00:22:43.000 this river of what I call the universe and stop 357 00:22:43.039 --> 00:22:46.160 fighting it, it's been uplent. It's trying to take me 358 00:22:46.720 --> 00:22:49.559 to the place i'm I'm yearning for, and all I 359 00:22:49.640 --> 00:22:53.400 need to do is stop fighting it. Everywhere I stopped 360 00:22:53.400 --> 00:22:57.200 fighting anyone or anything because my problems. I realize we're 361 00:22:57.240 --> 00:23:01.920 all of my own making the universe beautiful. 362 00:23:05.920 --> 00:23:08.240 Okay, it's interesting, you know, you and I talk about 363 00:23:08.599 --> 00:23:12.200 this all the time, and it's so much a part 364 00:23:12.240 --> 00:23:15.559 of our makeup now. But it's funny to watch us 365 00:23:15.599 --> 00:23:19.000 struggle having a conversation about it, because it seems like 366 00:23:19.039 --> 00:23:21.240 the thing that would actually flow off of our times 367 00:23:21.240 --> 00:23:24.559 most easily. I'm not sure what that's about, but I 368 00:23:24.559 --> 00:23:26.799 think it does speak a little bit to this idea 369 00:23:26.839 --> 00:23:31.839 of how ineffable this concept really is, and until you 370 00:23:31.920 --> 00:23:35.759 experience it, it's really hard to know it. 371 00:23:37.200 --> 00:23:41.039 Yeah, there's a saying with ineffable concepts, whether it's this one, 372 00:23:41.119 --> 00:23:43.559 or it's God or something else, is that someone's experience. 373 00:23:43.599 --> 00:23:46.039 You can say two words and they nod with agreement, 374 00:23:46.640 --> 00:23:48.680 And there's no number of words that can explain to 375 00:23:48.799 --> 00:23:51.319 someone who may not have experienced. And so it's somewhere 376 00:23:51.359 --> 00:23:54.200 in the middle with us and our audience about you know, 377 00:23:54.759 --> 00:23:58.680 how do we get this concept across for various different 378 00:23:58.720 --> 00:23:59.599 levels of experience. 379 00:24:02.319 --> 00:24:04.880 Can you think of a specific example where we can 380 00:24:05.000 --> 00:24:11.359 highlight what we mean by this, even one that's recent 381 00:24:11.480 --> 00:24:11.839 for us? 382 00:24:15.799 --> 00:24:22.319 Mm hm, in our like, do you mean the benevolence 383 00:24:22.319 --> 00:24:24.680 of the universe, like specifically or a specific example where 384 00:24:24.720 --> 00:24:25.480 stop fighting it. 385 00:24:26.279 --> 00:24:28.480 Well, it's all the same, right if we believe that 386 00:24:28.519 --> 00:24:31.640 we live in a benevolent universe. If you truly adopt 387 00:24:31.839 --> 00:24:35.920 that belief system and it becomes the lens through it 388 00:24:36.079 --> 00:24:40.920 you see the world, then each experience that you have 389 00:24:41.359 --> 00:24:46.279 is an opportunity for you to surrender, and through that surrender, 390 00:24:46.359 --> 00:24:49.400 each opportunity is an opportunity for you to step into flow. 391 00:24:52.839 --> 00:24:54.960 So in any way that you want to describe it, 392 00:24:55.000 --> 00:24:56.559 I mean I can think of a billion. 393 00:24:56.400 --> 00:24:58.240 But no, go for go for one. 394 00:25:07.319 --> 00:25:10.279 Okay, So I'm going to leave names and things out 395 00:25:10.319 --> 00:25:14.240 of it because I don't think that that's important. But 396 00:25:14.400 --> 00:25:23.279 I had a week, a couple of weeks ago, I 397 00:25:23.279 --> 00:25:32.559 I had an opportunity to be able to I've had 398 00:25:32.599 --> 00:25:41.640 a conversation with one of our kids repeatedly where a 399 00:25:41.720 --> 00:25:45.200 pattern showed up. And that pattern was very much a 400 00:25:45.319 --> 00:25:53.599 lens of experiencing the world not as benevolent, but actually 401 00:25:53.720 --> 00:25:59.160