Speaker 1: Meanwhile, it's a day that ends in why, which means
that Jua is attracted to someone for whom he's working with,
and the lucky girl is Daisy. And I wonder which
one of her graces is luring him in the Paka six,
the excessive drinking, the hands off management style, or maybe
it's her consistent attraction to douchebags.
Speaker 2: I think I answered my own.
Speaker 3: Question, a Hai, Kings Queen's all you.
Speaker 4: Should I I'm not going to.
Speaker 5: I don't want to start over well, I don't want
to start over by I definitely don't want to say
a hoi.
Speaker 4: Kings and Queen's you know what I mean?
Speaker 5: Hello there, and welcome to another and spanking episode, a
new episode of bad TV.
Speaker 4: I'm Dylan.
Speaker 5: That is pat permission to come aboard. Kaylin, Hello, he
just jumps in. I was going to ask him how
he's doing, and he just jumped in.
Speaker 2: Leave the alone.
Speaker 5: But you are fresh off a arduous day at the
happiest place in Los Angeles. I would say, Universal Studios, yep,
oh yeah, the Jurassic Park.
Speaker 4: Do you do that? Are they too young for that?
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're both too young to do it.
Speaker 5: Ellie would that that t Rex coming down.
Speaker 4: The ship out of her, out of me.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: But we went on a lot of rides there and uh,
they're just wearing me fin.
Speaker 4: Those Did someone just die on the Mummy ride that.
Speaker 2: Was in Florida? Yeah, it was an eight year old
had a heart attack.
Speaker 5: Yeah, what are you doing going on these things? They'll
advised terrified. I know you're chasing your youth, but I mean,
these are coasts, they're very dangerous for people with stints
and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: But to as Dylan, I am on my second week
of spring break with the two kiddos, I'm in the
middle of hell. No one told me that this is
what my life would be. Uh, it's almost like a
it's a little tease for what.
Speaker 2: The summer will be, you know, Yeah, which is you
got to entertain these demons for two weeks straight.
Speaker 5: And it's almost worth going into debt to get them
into camps, just the entire So.
Speaker 2: Oh, that's what summer is going to be.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Oh, well, I don't care if ill you're saying it's
seven thousand dollars for baseball camp.
Speaker 2: Take I'm child, no problem, someone else raised.
Speaker 5: Them, all right. So we have an episode of below
deck to get into. We are fresh off of Ruby's wedding.
We talked about it on Real Housewives of Providence, Real
Housewives of Rhode Island, which you can get a paid
dot com slash another podcast network. We'll do a designated
episode as Pat and I mentioned. You know, there's not
a lot of shodenfreud with this one. It was just
a wall to wall lovely evening of two lovely families
coming together.
Speaker 4: You know, it felt good that wedding.
Speaker 2: Maybe I'll talk it.
Speaker 1: We'll use this time on APS to talk shit about
other people's weddings that we've been to, because really the
fun of going to someone's wedding is to mock about
how gaudy they are. Like you're like, oh my god,
they decided to put those bows on the pewser Oh
my god, those bridesmaid's dresses are appalling.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, the food is disgusting.
Speaker 5: Absolutely adore that theme of APS.
Speaker 4: We should just shit.
Speaker 5: We should use Ruby's lovely nuptials as a trampoline to
shit on other people's marriage.
Speaker 2: Okay, I went to weddings.
Speaker 5: I went to a wedding once where I heard they
we have to get into below deck.
Speaker 4: Sure my god, man, oh my god, what else can
you get?
Speaker 5: A patron dot complation of the podcast network's command of
all It's West and Amanda's scandal is there, ridiculous. The
whole season will be there. We'll be covering the reunion.
What a gift to us. Thank you West, Thank you
Amanda for being pieces of shit. All right, let's get
into below deck. Speaking pieces of shit, I mean, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Speaker 4: Well, we have some bad.
Speaker 5: Behavior on this, my goodness, gracious, a lot of tears,
a lot of bad behavior, and a flirting.
Speaker 4: Tactic I've never seen before.
Speaker 5: I would like for you to get naked and I'm
going to rub your ass for forty five minutes. I've
never seen that before. I've just never seen it. You've
never seen it, No, huh, I don't think you have either.
It's very rare.
Speaker 1: Trying to think if anybody ever offered me a massage.
I think I have been offered a massage.
Speaker 5: And offered a massage, but it'll be a shoulder massage
over the closes, maybe a hand massage.
Speaker 4: You don't go. You know, I used to rub down
one of the wealthiest men in.
Speaker 2: Russia, Pete on Putin.
Speaker 4: Yeah, my god.
Speaker 2: But she signed in NBA, so she couldn't talk about it.
Speaker 4: The story she has about the oligarchs. All right, So
I thought it was a great episode. I'm gonna give
it twelve pots.
Speaker 2: Twelve pots. Wow, Okay, that's high.
Speaker 1: I thought it was a really good episode too, just
the drama between the balk And Biscuit.
Speaker 2: And multiple people, multiple people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we thought it was just gonna be between her
and Ben. But she's got a lot of fire bruin
in that little body of hers. Okay, she's pissed at Daisy,
She's pissed at Alisa, Alicia. She calls her pick me,
what is Itica?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Wow, that's clever, very clever.
Speaker 1: It's not.
Speaker 5: Then, can you say something about Ellie really quickly. Ellie
has been very gracious to us. She's on our show
many times.
Speaker 4: I think Ellie is a danger to everyone around her.
Speaker 1: Well, I think she's like the incredible Hulk. Just don't
get her angry for sure. Yeah, she's Bruce Banner, cool guy,
cool guy nerd.
Speaker 2: Right, don't get him angry.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 5: Now, the difference between Bruce Banner and the Balkan Biscuit
is that Bruce Banner kind of let you know that
he's there's a there's a sight to it, right, He's
a giant, green, alien thing. Ellie h does not shape shift.
She just snaps and you can kind of get taken off.
Speaker 4: Guard a little bit.
Speaker 5: Like I said, Ellie is a very dangerous woman in
this kind of working environment, which is a pressure cooker
designed to make people, mainly runaways, go insane.
Speaker 4: Caylen, what'd you think of the episode?
Speaker 5: Before Pat gives his pots, he's looking over his notes.
Speaker 4: I thought it was great.
Speaker 2: I'll give it eighty pots.
Speaker 5: Okay, Revity's the solo wit, yes, and my god.
Speaker 2: No one's more brevier than him.
Speaker 5: No one's more brevier than cayleb Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, Dylan, all right, I am Dylan and I have
always joked. In polite society, it is an obligation when
someone asks you how you're doing, there is only one
correct answer.
Speaker 4: I'm okay or no, no, no, good good?
Speaker 2: Yeah good good.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 1: Little did Alicia know when Ellie asked her, or she
asked her, how you doing?
Speaker 2: What she was about to be given?
Speaker 4: This is what I'm saying. Ruth's giant and green. You go,
I'm not gonna ask how they're doing, you know what
I mean, Yeah, or.
Speaker 1: You're just a regular society you ask someone how they're doing.
The next thing you know they're saying, well, I was
in urgent care for all last night. My cat got
sexually assaulted by a skunk. And you're like, hey, whoa,
whoa whoao, save the save the gold.
Speaker 2: But your AA meeting.
Speaker 5: But before you blow it all on the AA meeting,
how do you know that it was a sexual assault?
Speaker 4: What took place between Dylan?
Speaker 2: That's a follow up question.
Speaker 1: You want to get as far away from this person
as possible. The correct answer is good or never ask
it at all.
Speaker 5: And speaking of a car accident, really really tragic thing.
Two people missed the wedding to the loveliest people. They
were in a rollover car accident. Now they're okay, but
they did spend the entire night in the hospital and
that's why they missed the wedding. They were on the
way to the wedding. They got hit by a woman
who was texting and driving. And to anyone who is
causing car accidents because they're looking at their phone while driving, learn.
Speaker 4: How to text while driving.
Speaker 5: He doesn't know who the fuck is We're not going
and text at the same time.
Speaker 2: Exactly, just be better at it.
Speaker 4: Okay, get better at it? Yeah, how many pops.
Speaker 1: Same goes for masturbating. If you're going to masturbate in
your car, just look.
Speaker 2: Up every once in a while. Seriously, all right, I'm
gonna give it fourteen knots.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 5: You know people have had a problem with you giving
the same knots. They go, Why does Patty always give
it fourteen?
Speaker 2: Not do I?
Speaker 5: According to them, I don't ever pay attention to how
many potch you gifts?
Speaker 4: All right? Last week we left off, Elliott flipped.
Speaker 5: Out, uh Ben, Ben and Ellie were asked I say
hell the gunpoint by Captain j Man to.
Speaker 4: Sit down and hash this out. That's exactly what they do. Now.
Speaker 5: We mentioned this last week. Ben has taken an Anakin
posture to one Obi wand he's lost the high grad completely.
His legs are melted. He's going to turn into Darth Vader.
This man is so submissive to Ellie it's crazy.
Speaker 1: Either that or he's finally come around as I have
to him. I am liking Ben, really.
Speaker 2: I really have. And that's what's really special about old Patty.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't just have this one way where I'm like,
I don't like that person and then I can ever
change my appearing multifaceted human.
Speaker 2: That's my point. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Now, so it was so nice to see this, and
very rarely do we see a mediation that takes place
like this, where we have mature adults able to work
past their differences.
Speaker 4: Well, Dylan, I'm talking about Sea rat Daylan.
Speaker 1: I know, but we've seen in the past many meetings
like this where we have yelling. Sometimes they end in
the ending of someone's employment. Right. One time Captain Sandy
had Fraser up there. She said something like the fish
was stinking from the head employing. I think that the
dead fish's head was Fraser or something.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I don't remember that.
Speaker 1: That was before we knew that lesbians don't like twinks
or something. Yeah, but anyway, it's nice to know everybody
hates somebody, right, Caylin hates Germans?
Speaker 2: Yeah, my wife hates me. What do you hate?
Speaker 5: Who do I hate?
Speaker 4: Do you have a minute? Let me come on. Well, anyway,
the Chip you can't stand them?
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I.
Speaker 1: Mean, well, anyway, it's really nice to see that they
were able to work this out in a mature resolution
as I saw it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I would say, so you know Ben, really, Ben begins.
I don't want to say groveling. I'm just confused because
Ben will fly off to handle anybody for anything. Yet
when we do actually have something that should really be
addressed in a fairly harsh way, that being Ellie going
full green and screaming at everybody for nothing, That's when
I'm like, Wow, now you're taking the profuse apology tour.
Rou It's confusing. But he says, you know, I'm sorry.
I called you sweetheart so many times.
Speaker 2: It's a term of endearment.
Speaker 5: But you know, I get that it makes you want
to pick up a kitchen knife and whack off my hands.
Speaker 2: So why don't we do this?
Speaker 4: Why don't we put out a little sweetheart?
Speaker 5: Juh?
Speaker 2: Every time I say sweetheart up put a dollar the
sweetheart art. It's like, what is who is this person?
Speaker 1: I'll tell you someone who's cutting and willing to pivot.
Speaker 5: She is really the person in charge her. She says,
if I can manage his personality, we'll be able to
make it, and then she briefs Jason on how it went.
The captain of the boat comes in and the fucking
galley hand.
Speaker 4: Goes, hey, boss, it's all right. Me and the.
Speaker 5: Highest ranking sea rat here have got this whole thing
under cover or under what's the word control. So j
Man dismisses them and we hit the comment cards. Five
stars for whatever the five stars were for two stars
for cleudliness.
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 5: I think it had just something to do with that
sanitary knapkin glue to the side of the closet.
Speaker 2: Definitely, definitely, so yeah, you are correct, right, definitely the
pee paper. What was that?
Speaker 5: The p paper said, no, Ed McMahon, Ed McMahon correct,
I got it, um, so oh, I'll do it.
Speaker 1: Meanwhile, yeah, please do Meanwhile, it's a day that ends
in why, which means that Juwau is attracted to someone
for whom he's working with. And the lucky girl is Daisy,
And I wonder which one of her graces is luring
him in the pack of six, the excessive drinking, the
hands off management style, or maybe it's her consistent attraction
to douchebags.
Speaker 2: I think I answered my own question.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like what do you like about him?
It's like, I mean again, do you have a second
because you know he's uh a Philander.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but she could say the same thing about him.
Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly, he is just he he has been struck
by cupids. Erra watching Daisy scream in the laundry room.
Speaker 2: Fucking look at that. That's gonna be my wife's something
that's giving me.
Speaker 5: My wife And and it's oddly enough, he's he's eating.
Speaker 4: It's so bizarre. He has a fucking dress up paper
plate in front of him filled to the brim with
lamb chops. What so odd?
Speaker 5: These sea rats eat so well. But we get to
the tip meeting tip eating two.
Speaker 1: Which I thought was light for a four day charter.
I've seen the sea rats have this wide spectrum of
reactions to tips.
Speaker 5: Pat Let's be honest, very light, extremely light, extremely.
Speaker 1: So this tip would have essentially been what five K
a day for what they put these people through.
Speaker 4: I would say, this.
Speaker 5: Tip is this light as Now, this is a brief
moment in time. But when an Haiti's car was soaring
through the air, it was almost weightless. Why did I
do that?
Speaker 4: Why am I shoehorning in ann hate?
Speaker 2: No, it's important, it's important to remember.
Speaker 5: I honestly think in terms of the public good that
we do. Top five would be just constantly reminding people
what a tragedy was.
Speaker 1: Well, mainly because if you're in a in a townhouse
and you here.
Speaker 5: Someone listening to a podcast really really loudly and it's
getting louder, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Run to the rear part of your townhouse because it
could be someone like Anne. Hah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it could be a Mini Cooper flying in through
your living.
Speaker 1: Room then exploding almost killed that poor woman's dog.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 4: Dogs are notorious.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 5: They can sense a mud slide, but they cannot sense
an h They have no idea she's gone. They have
no idea she's coming. All right, pee, all right, pete, girlfriend,
all right.
Speaker 2: And your your meeting.
Speaker 1: After this is where Jenna says she wants to take
more of a lead as the second ste So rather
than go around her to Daisy to complain about something,
just come to her with your issues and you can
work them out. And then this is when Mikey says
to us, not her, because he doesn't have any balls.
He says, well, shit needs a fuck off, and that's
the just that right kind of attitude that will land
him in a lucrative job title as the monkey cage
dookie cleaner in the future.
Speaker 5: It's a marvel that he has never been able to
hand a hold down a job. It's just nuts that
he's bounced to all these different industries and there's something
he's like, I can't put my finger on why it
just hasn't worked out for me anywhere.
Speaker 4: It's because you suck. That's why I know the sea
rets less. And I know that's a little bit harsh,
but it's because you suck.
Speaker 5: Now, we always say this about people that suck, and
Mikey does people can change. That's it's like that guy
that does from that band Future Islands, you know, the
bald guy that dances around on Dan Saisan's change.
Speaker 2: Oh, Mikey, let me give you a little story.
Speaker 1: When I worked at North American Insurance for three and
a half years, best best job I ever had. What
I would do is I just stamp my time card in,
I get my cup of coffee burned like thirty minutes,
and I would pretend to go to the bathroom and
I'd fall asleep in a stall for about four hours.
I did absolutely nothing for three and a half years. Yeah,
so I was more useless than you.
Speaker 2: Yep. I was pretty proud of myself.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: They were like, you're still reading The Alchemist when you
go to the bathroom at books like seventy pages. Well,
I'm just taking my time.
Speaker 1: No one ever asked because I was going to the bathroom,
and if they ever did, I'd say my tummy hurt.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then no one really asked any questions.
Speaker 4: No, I mean, my gosh.
Speaker 5: I hired a job at a company called Language Access Network,
which was a medical supplies company, and I literally I
don't know what I did. I didn't do anything, and
that fans note the story. But I walked into my
boss's office I said, listen, this is I think this
is for me. I'm bored here. I don't do anything,
so I'm going to look for another job. And when
I'm ready to go, I'll let you go. They said, oh,
we have a good idea, though you're fired now.
Speaker 2: I wish that I would have said, don't don't go
in there and say that.
Speaker 5: All right, let's get to Ellie, who wants to give
Joel massage because she used to massage and piss on
Russian oil mone so big turn on there. She decides
to go full bore. Uh she is, she's asked him
to completely get nude, and she's rubbing his haunches in
a way that is very sexual. I mean, you've seen
it in many different porns. You know, the the hand
just kind of slides to the I don't know the
front or the butthole. I don't know what you people
are into, but you know this is this could easily
escalate into a kind of fucking yes sexual sexual acts
and also a really bizarre thing to have no escalation
in any way. It's really bizarre to just rub a
man down.
Speaker 1: And then here's what I'm gonna say to Joel, because
there is a little fault on his part later on,
when she goes into his cabin and they start smooching
or something. I guess he could claim, hey, look like
he could have just asked her to leave or whatnot.
But here he's kind of leading her on with massage that.
Speaker 4: I would say like he was kicking himself.
Speaker 5: He was like, I should have just told her to
get out of the room. That's a tougher pot than going,
oh you know what, actually, I don't have time to
get naked and have you rub oil all over me
on this massage table in a guess cabin. I mean,
that's an easier thing to say now to.
Speaker 1: Well, meanwhile, the girls are I think it's Jenna and Daisy.
By the way, I always forget that Daisy's roommate is
the balk and Biscuit.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that's gonna be fun.
Speaker 5: Well, Jenna talks to Daisy about jealousy. Well, fairly naked
the entire time. It's quite invasive, the creepy cams on
that one. We head off for a night out Ben
Ben hangs back to have a meat night with the
j man. Just two man, two robes, and two pieces
of meat.
Speaker 1: My kind of night, man, But my kind of night
where we pick out, we drink and watch an old movie.
Feels just right. That's what I'm doing now. You know
that's once a month. You guys are gonna be invited.
I'll see if I can fit you in. We have
guys night here. We do cigars, which I don't even like.
We get some good food, we drink some wine, and.
Speaker 2: We watch a good old movie.
Speaker 5: Okay, so night, I'm a little You'll. I want you
to agree to forgive me after the things I say
to you can you do that? Yes, okay, you don't
do that. You do that once a month. The rest
of the evenings you eat ritz crackers and rot watching
crime shows that you've already seen one hundred and fifty times. Okay,
you do not have a taste for old cinema.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 5: The second thing, if you invite me to said event
with the same tone that you have been inviting me
to these things with, I'm just not gonna go.
Speaker 2: What is this?
Speaker 4: I'm gonna invite you.
Speaker 2: I'll see if I can squeeze you in.
Speaker 5: Do you understand you betch that no one wants to
be invited to something like that?
Speaker 1: Okay, fine, I'll you forgive me change and I forgive
you for that, all right, And I would love for
you to come.
Speaker 2: I'll check the calendar.
Speaker 4: Is this penance for for me not inviting you to golf? Enough?
Is that?
Speaker 5: What?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: No, no, no, it's there's only so much room in
this studio where we view old films.
Speaker 2: Where as you call it cinema.
Speaker 5: M h, well you call it cinema, right, it's your
favorite thing. This is who you are now, steak in cinema.
The reason I can't invite you to golf all the time.
Is because the situations have to be perfect, right, because
you're so goddamn fucking bad, And then we have to
have a free day. It has to be wide open,
otherwise you're just gonna be stressed. I understand now, I
that wasn't even true. Okay, now I'm just getting Caddy.
Speaker 2: It's okay, you know, it's really Caddy.
Speaker 4: Caddy Patty.
Speaker 2: Oh, Caddy Patty.
Speaker 1: Daisy and Joel flirt, causing Ellie to pull out the
big guns. Literally, she says, I want to pull out
my tits.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and what does Caddy Patty have to say about that?
Speaker 2: It's tacky as hell? Come on, girlfriend, better than that.
Speaker 5: I'm so looking forward to Caddy Patty for Real Housewives.
Bose shows up to that direek photo shoot in an
outfit that I'm sure the gay version of you is ready.
Speaker 1: To take old Caddy Patty's in the house for that
one that's towards the end too.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, yeah, that looked like shit. Anyways, I understand
I'm in white socks and slides right now. I haven't
bathed anyways. We had out we evade the feral animals
that dot the landscape.
Speaker 4: I don't even know where we are.
Speaker 1: I don't either, but I will say this, Eddie and Jenna,
they seem to be back on because they were both
brought up Christian and as we know Christians, they're loyal
or something like that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, for sure, all Christians are all loyal. I want
to talk about this dance hall that we keep returning to.
My uncle Hub is a one eyed redneck. He is
a serious drinking problem. If he was given a lifetime
of beer.
Speaker 2: To make a nightclub, this is what.
Speaker 4: It would look like. This place is disgusting.
Speaker 5: There's linoleum and fucking graffiti everywhere. It looks like the
beginning of a Saw movie. Okay, I can't believe that
we're frequenting these haunts.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't want to go there.
Speaker 4: There's dogs everywhere.
Speaker 5: Not just dogs, No, they're dogs that have not eaten
in days, and they have fucking fleas all over the place.
And I'm an animal lover, me too, Me too.
Speaker 2: All right, So all right, Alicia, they're at the club now.
Speaker 5: First we have dinner first, because the sea rats all
sit down.
Speaker 4: I mean, this is this is a hub of culture.
Speaker 5: Wherever we are, right, we have Saw dance floors, and
we have these restaurants wherein all of the sea rats
are getting essentially Domino's personal pan pizzas put in front
of them, the thickest crusts, just the perfect thing before
a night out. Alicia is doing this weird thing where
she now knows that Ellie is into Juau, so she's
starting to rub bottles with Juau and flirt with Chuau.
Alicia has this kind of schizophrenic flirt to her where
she just flirts with literally every single person who another
woman on the boat is interested in. It is a really,
really bona fide psychotic.
Speaker 4: Move from Alisia. And we can't forget that.
Speaker 2: Side. You know who that was?
Speaker 5: That was that was her boyfriend, and then that was Harrison.
Then all the children that saw his blown up box.
That's right on the Congress, that's right.
Speaker 1: Never get serious with a sea rat, Harrison. They'll break
your heart every time. Yes, it doesn't matter now because
your face is fused with a sidewalk, But if you
were still with us, that's the advice.
Speaker 2: I get no.
Speaker 5: Quicker way to learn you can't fly than to start
dating a sea rat.
Speaker 4: Tell you that, because.
Speaker 5: Before that, you know, you just don't know she's a
pick me girl, ye pick mesha.
Speaker 4: Anyways, all right, so sorry, we're is this going okay?
Is this calin? Is this alright?
Speaker 2: That's fantastic? Oh there? Oh wow, what are you doing
on your computer?
Speaker 4: I wrote pick down as a possible title.
Speaker 2: For the o' good. Okay, he's thinking on his feet,
I know he is.
Speaker 5: Okay, you know what I think he's really doing. I
was really pitching one piece to him. I think he's
watching it over there.
Speaker 2: Oh okay.
Speaker 1: Well, anyway, we're at the club and Jenna and Eddie
are having a good time, and I don't know what's
wrong with this Eddie character.
Speaker 2: He is. He is the worst.
Speaker 4: I don't know what to call it. What do you
call a person a man who is a suitor?
Speaker 2: He's the worst suitor I've ever seen. I'll tell Eddie,
I'm going to speak directly to him.
Speaker 4: Please do Can I have a sip of your diet coke?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Go ahead? Uh, this is who Eddie is. Eddie,
I've had it with you. You're a drunk. Oh my god,
it's so obvious you're a drunk.
Speaker 1: And I want to explain something. You have a small
window in time where active women will want to be
into you and have sex with you is a very
small window and you're blowing it right now.
Speaker 2: You got a couple.
Speaker 1: More years and then it's fucking over. So you can
be a pathetic blackout, lonely drunk. Yeah, after that period ends,
but right now, strike while the irons are hot.
Speaker 5: You're so right, and that is where you know, we've
we've seen this many times where it's a I'm not
trying to be chauvinistic about this, and when I say
fish in a barrel, I'm not saying that like it's
this completed conquest or anything.
Speaker 4: But it's like, there's a beautiful girl.
Speaker 5: It's that she wants to be with you, she wants
to engage.
Speaker 4: Physically with you.
Speaker 2: It's like a it's a nice thing.
Speaker 5: You have a co signature from a beautiful woman, and
you're such a drunk.
Speaker 1: That you're letting this knucklehead climb over all over you
like you're a play set, right, Like throw her off
the balcony.
Speaker 5: Have some fine, some fucking druthers, and don't air bang Alicia.
Speaker 4: When Jenna is really into you. My god, so frustrating.
Speaker 5: So h Jenna's pissed off because she sees it, and
that's when we get to Juau and Mikey. Juwau tells
Mikey that he's into Daisy after Mikey.
Speaker 1: Tells him master the obvious thing, mike Hey, hey, Jowa,
I think you're clear for a landing with the Biscuit.
Speaker 2: Oh oh wow.
Speaker 5: Well, also, Mikey says, you know you can have her,
which is a little bit like telling like Chris Farley
telling Patrick Swayzee that you know, it's okay he can have.
Speaker 4: The Chippendale's Kick. Okay. It's like, yeah, we got it, Okay.
Speaker 5: Mikey is a gossipy little bitch, right, so this is
the worst person to tell this kind of thing too,
unless you don't mind it getting out, which I don't
think Juwa does. But Mikey, when talking about Joow being
into having Daisy and the Balkan Biscuit, says, mate, you
can't put three hands on green or you can't put
you can't put your hands on three colors playing twister,
forgive me, that's what That's what he said.
Speaker 4: Okay, here's the thing though, if.
Speaker 5: That fucking sense what you just said, there's only two
women you could put two hands on two collars and
Twister Mikey the fucking hairspray is pulling the rain out
of your head.
Speaker 4: God, all right.
Speaker 5: In the vans, the tears are really flowing tonight. Jenna
is crying again over Eddie.
Speaker 2: Well, she wants to know, why the hell do I
care about someone? This average? Great question?
Speaker 5: Great question because you're not average. He's crying too, though,
and this is just drunk behavior.
Speaker 4: Right. Eddie gets in the bunks.
Speaker 5: And he starts weeping because he's hurting Jenna's feelings. I mean,
my goodness, gracious, you can get you can get drunk,
just don't get black out drunk to where you're confused
about why you're emotionally damaging somebody. You don't understand it anyways.
Alicia pulls Juwa when we get out of the vans.
I don't know what the mo is with this one.
I really don't understand it. She knows that he's got
this thing going with Ellie, so she intercepts him and says,
let's go sit down and talk. She knows Ellie's into him,
she knows Ellie's trying to walk into the boat with him.
She has a boyfriend. It's just very, very confusing.
Speaker 1: You know, we skipped over what Matt. Can you believe
what she said to Eddie? Why insert yourself at the
club and say that it's never gonna work out.
Speaker 2: With jeh my god, thank you. She's being an awful person.
Awful person.
Speaker 1: No one asked for your advice, right, like, let them fail.
I mean, obviously you're not doing that.
Speaker 2: Well. You're fucking flirt with everybody on this boat.
Speaker 1: You got poor Harrison. They're scraping his fucking brain matter
off a sidewalk and.
Speaker 5: We're supposed to we're supposed to sit down with Alicia
coming out.
Speaker 2: Oh, that's right, we have to just call balls and strikes.
Speaker 5: If you still want to talk to us, we'd still
love to have you, but you're behaving like a fucking
demon right now. So sorry, Sorry, Harrison's fused to the
concrete Alicia. They have NASA at the scene of the crime,
trying to figure out what happened because they've never seen
that it's bad. So well, we get some cuddles in
the morning.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh, by the.
Speaker 1: Way, this is the best moment. Next morning, Eddie and
Jenna patch things up pretty quickly.
Speaker 2: That was nice to see. And then little.
Speaker 1: Mikey will dropping some kids off at the pool, shares
a little tea with jowl.
Speaker 2: The Daisy likes him. I like a multitasker, but Mikey,
I don't like you.
Speaker 5: Yikes, just a little a little boy, little fucking boy.
Mikey's fun though he's got very plump lips. Alicia and
Ellie have a little conversation in the morning.
Speaker 2: It does not go well.
Speaker 4: As we discussed. Ellie is.
Speaker 2: Dormant.
Speaker 4: She's a dormant landmine. There are leaves covering her.
Speaker 5: But if you sweep the leaves away, aka ask how
she's doing, your leg will be heaved into oblivion. Okay,
So she goes what's going on and senses that Ellie's
a little frigid.
Speaker 4: So she does a follow.
Speaker 5: Up and Ellie says, happy followed up. I think that
you're a vile bitch. I think that you are selfish.
You're not a girl's girl, and your behavior disgusts me.
Get the fuck away from me.
Speaker 1: WHOA, Yeah, I think when she asked her how you doing,
I didn't think she realized she may need therapy for
six years.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Now, the tricky little thing with this whole encounter
is that who is sitting behind the curtain himself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Mikey, You're everywhere and nowhere at the same time.
Speaker 2: It's pretty amazing here.
Speaker 5: Do anything, Mikey, but spread shit about people.
Speaker 1: The good news for Alicia is she has quite a
rock solid ego there, because the way that she processes
is that the Balkan Biscuit is a bitch and is
now her enemy.
Speaker 5: Yeah, she takes an amazing posture. I'm not going to
internalize really anything that crazy monster just said to me. Instead,
I'm going to go on the attack and I'm going to.
Speaker 4: Take her down.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 4: So, uh, let's get to it. It's time to get
to the friend sheet.
Speaker 5: Min got another sugar baby Tyler Tyler in his gaze?
Speaker 4: God, am I envious of this life?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 5: Yeah, sitting around getting fucking uh fromal the hide shot
in your fucking face all the time.
Speaker 4: What is this guy?
Speaker 2: Sounds like a good life.
Speaker 5: We don't know how old daddy is, Yeah, daddy, I
think is.
Speaker 2: Daddy could be old and gross.
Speaker 5: Daddy might not want to go on the mummy, Okay,
might bloom the widow maker there. You know, he is
bringing aboard his gaze, his glam squad he's gonna be
wanting to do a drag night, a loss at sea dinner.
The really insane thing to me and Tyler seems like
a fun game.
Speaker 1: I've seen him on reality TV before. I'll probably look
it up. I don't know where, but he this is
not his first U stand time.
Speaker 4: I'm mad. Yeah, yeah, probay that.
Speaker 5: He wants his outfits James bonded to the boat. He
wants a clandestine drop that his friends can as.
Speaker 1: I know where I saw him. He was on Main
Cabin Masters. He was building a cabin.
Speaker 5: Yeah, no, no, no, I don't think that's it, Kaylen,
Can you look up there's an episode.
Speaker 4: Of American Pickers. Yeah, he was twenty twenty four.
Speaker 5: I think there was an episode of American Pictures Pickers.
He was in the Ozarks, I think, and he was
fighting with the hosts over a couple of rusted license
plates that they were gonna flip for seven bucks out
of BUCkies.
Speaker 4: I think that was him.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's oh, you know what, You're right, That's
why I saw it.
Speaker 4: That's him.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Anyways, he is fabulous. He's coming aboard this vessel and yeah,
he's an insane person who wants his clam dropped off.
Speaker 1: His face looks way too fucked out that young, yeah,
although he could be fifty, who knows, And we.
Speaker 5: Can't do the like the twenty eight year old like
Sunset Drive woman in the mansion already.
Speaker 4: Right, you're a twenty eight year old man.
Speaker 5: Let me tell you, these these years are really pulling
the wrinkles down, my dear. I can't tell you how
many moretini is this is gonna take? Okay, So Ellie
heads in to see Juau and we get a little kissy,
kissy Juou.
Speaker 4: I love the false earnesty.
Speaker 5: Oh oh no, yeah, ah, man, I think he.
Speaker 2: I think he could have escaped this one.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he could have.
Speaker 2: He likes uh, he likes feeling chicks up.
Speaker 4: It's one of his favorite things to do. So he
was okay with it. Now. I think the guests arrive here.
Speaker 2: Oh well, I was.
Speaker 1: Gonna say, regarding what the move, that the Balkan biscuit
was here.
Speaker 2: I hope this doesn't come off crass.
Speaker 4: I think it might.
Speaker 1: Well, she was as the kids, saying she was marking
her territory. You know, Juwau is like the fire hydrant.
The Balkan biscuit ish is the dog and her kissing
him was the piss, all right?
Speaker 5: The problem the problem with marking Juwau. It's a little
bit like a dog trying to mark a bowl of
piss with their piss. So it's not rich. It's just
gonna be confusing. Nobody's gonna really get this scent, all right. Yeah,
it's kind of like a punch bowl of nonsense.
Speaker 4: So the guess orright. Daisy tells Ellie to get in line,
go stand a line.
Speaker 2: I thought that was that. Why is she getting so
mad at Jena lator for it?
Speaker 4: Jenna?
Speaker 1: Yeah, because she takes it out on Jenna later on
in the galley, if you'll remember. But we'll get there. Sorry,
Daisy tells her to move down, but she takes it
out on Jenna in the galley.
Speaker 2: Huh yeah, we'll get there.
Speaker 1: I think maybe because she asked Jenna about it, and
then Jenna said, well, you're a fucking dishwasher.
Speaker 2: Shut the fuck up. That's why we asked you to
move down.
Speaker 5: Oh right, right, right, right, okay, Well the blood starts
to simmer a little bit. Ellie's uh yeah, a real
stick of dynamite on this boat.
Speaker 4: Oh man, not an easy person. To deal with.
Speaker 5: But we're wrapping up a bit. We talked about the
themed dinner and then yes, this is where Ellie's rank
comes into play, or Alicia's rank, I can't remember.
Speaker 2: No, No, it's it's the Balkan Biscuits rank.
Speaker 1: So they asked her to push down before the guests
were because it goes in order of your rank, right, right.
So she gets really upset at this because she thought,
at least I thought she thought because of the whole
back massage thing.
Speaker 2: The daisy was, you know, sidelining to embarrass her.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah, so you're just literally the least import in
person on the boat.
Speaker 2: That's it.
Speaker 1: She's lucky she's not sleeping where they fucking put the luggage,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 5: So honestly, you know, she might be more at home
with you. The fellow crow ats down beneath the luggage. Yeah,
the slaws, the engineers.
Speaker 1: Well, meanwhile, and this is something that's happened two episodes
in a row, and this speaks to Alicia too, but
we never talked about it. The last charter guest gave
Jenna a stuffed animal that's a cock. Ye, Alicia keeps
stealing it and putting it on her bed and Jenna
has to keep taking it back.
Speaker 2: It's not okay.
Speaker 4: I don't think her rainbow cock.
Speaker 2: That's right. The guys didn't give it to you.
Speaker 4: They gave it to her.
Speaker 5: Yes, So we wrap with the lost Seed dinner. Now,
Daisy loves this theme. The problem with the theme though,
is that it means Daisy has to work, so she's
not happy about it.
Speaker 2: Well.
Speaker 1: One last note though, nighttime beach dinner. Who'd a thought, Uh,
You're not being cooked by the sun all day.
Speaker 2: It's beautiful.
Speaker 1: You can see the night lights out, the stars, probably
less bugs. You don't have to see the hypodermic needles
on the beaches.
Speaker 5: Still rap on them, but I can't see them.
Speaker 2: I know what's gonna kill you. And I just thought
that was a nice touch.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, uh.
Speaker 1: And then Alicia updates Daisy on how she should go
for Juan now because uh, you know, she knows that
he likes her and also will help get revenge on
the balk and Biscuit.
Speaker 2: We have a little game of game of oars talk
about low steaks.
Speaker 5: I'm really starting to enjoy this season because I do
think thank you for the callback. I do think there
is a game of or cooking. Okay, this is like
episode five of the first season. There might be a
game of oars here. Okay, I get my comments. Let
us know you thought about the episode. Join us pageron
dot com for Rhode Island and Summerhouse.
Speaker 4: We love you very much. I'm Dylan saying goodbye Pat's sagodbye.
Speaker 6: After stance instant distances Extant intestist
Speaker 1: Has distant