Speaker 1: Now Medical Science offers proved positive.
Speaker 2: No other leading cigarette gives you less nicotine, less throw
irritating tars than the new, smoother, better tasting ROI.
Speaker 3: From Hollywood.
Speaker 1: The Raleigh Cigarette Program starring Red Scouting with David Borister
and his orchestra, are Singing Star Anita Allis, g G Person,
Bernard Falton, Pat McGee and Wonderful Smith and yours Julard O'Connor.
It's a pleasure to bring a metric Golden Mayors, popular
comedian and the star The Raleigh Cigarett Program.
Speaker 3: Red shout.
Speaker 4: Thank you, pleasing ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 1: Nine oh three Rod, nine oh three, Red say, I
hear you're a big success at the Associated Presidenter the
other night. Yeah, were there a lot of big stars there?
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: The autograph collectors had a cute little gag. See, if
a star came up, they let him sign a full page.
Then if a feature player came up, and they let
him sign a half a page, a big player quarter
of page. See, why are you so disappointed you ever
sign a spitball?
Speaker 1: Well tell me, Red, did you have a nice Thanksgiving?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 5: I celebrated Thanksgiving like our pilgrim fathers.
Speaker 3: Did mean you took your gun, went out and shot
a turkey.
Speaker 4: Oh, I shot the butcher for the price he was at.
Speaker 3: Well, I see.
Speaker 1: Anida Allis was back from New York.
Speaker 3: Did you meet her at the airport?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I went out to pick her up in my hot
rod car. Boy, what a car? What a car? It's
fastest thing on Rims.
Speaker 3: You ought to see Rod.
Speaker 1: Do you mean you have one of those cars with
no bumpers, no fenders, no windshield, and.
Speaker 3: No top like the kids have.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but mine goes one better. No moretar, no more.
Speaker 1: Why what did you do push your car all the
way back from the airport?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: And Anita's old worn out?
Speaker 1: I mean you made Anita push it?
Speaker 4: Well, she had to. Her mother was pulling.
Speaker 1: Well of Anita pushing her mother put what did you do?
Speaker 4: I just sat there and made it sound like a mortar? Oh?
Speaker 6: Hello, Rod, did you miss me?
Speaker 3: I'll say he did?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 7: Did I?
Speaker 8: Oh it's right there. All you gotta do is read it.
Speaker 1: Well, that's me, Yeah, did I I'll say I did?
Speaker 5: I went Hey, dude, you announcers get more money if
they can read.
Speaker 4: Did you like me on the Jack Smith Show last week?
Speaker 9: Well?
Speaker 5: I didn't get to hear it. You see my favorite program,
Frost Warnings is on it.
Speaker 1: They see the sludge pots.
Speaker 4: Are in bloom Now. Though I was kidding, I heard
the show and you were wonderful and it.
Speaker 3: What else did you do?
Speaker 5: In New York?
Speaker 6: I went through a wedding. My best girlfriend, Shirley Mitchell
got married.
Speaker 10: And oh, by the way, read that was very thoughtful
of you to send Shirley that present.
Speaker 5: She told me to thank you.
Speaker 4: Oh what'd you send her?
Speaker 1: Red?
Speaker 9: Oh?
Speaker 4: Just the table service for four, Table service for four.
Speaker 3: Say that sounds expensive.
Speaker 4: You're not kidding. Paper plates are hard to get.
Speaker 3: I was through with him, so I just erased him
and sent him to.
Speaker 4: Did you like Oh it was wonderful.
Speaker 6: On the plane, I sat next to an internal revenue man.
Speaker 3: He was very interested.
Speaker 4: Did you have a good trip?
Speaker 6: Yes? We hit only three air pockets.
Speaker 4: Yeah. I met the guy from the income tact bureaus
and every one of.
Speaker 1: Them no medical science offers proved positive.
Speaker 2: No other leading cigarette gives you less nicotine, less throat
irritating tars than the new, smoother, better tasting roly Yes,
prove positive. No other leading cigarette gives you less nicotine
less throat irritating tars than the new Rally.
Speaker 1: Scientific tests of America's six leading brands, based on a
method used by the United States government, tests certified by
a jury of fourteen doctors, have proved conclusively no other
leading cigarette gives you less nicotine less throat irritating tars
than Rawley's. So smokers enjoy the new, smoother, better tasting
Rallies and remember, medical science offers proof positive.
Speaker 2: No other leading cigarette gives you less nicotine less throat
irritating tars than the new Ralli cigarettes.
Speaker 5: One of the best sellers this week is a recording
made by Anita Ellis the anniversary song from the Jolson
story Anita will sing it first?
Speaker 9: Now, Oh how we dice.
Speaker 11: On the night if we were?
Speaker 9: Were we not.
Speaker 5: To war?
Speaker 11: Wasn't said? The war wasn't blum.
Speaker 7: There was star.
Speaker 11: In Misco.
Speaker 9: It so.
Speaker 6: All the food.
Speaker 9: That was.
Speaker 7: Supplose my.
Speaker 11: Age the city, I think to.
Speaker 6: Your change too hot gently being.
Speaker 9: One momoring lorm.
Speaker 11: Dis I love.
Speaker 5: So could.
Speaker 10: But RelA, let's meeting more.
Speaker 11: Sublime on all.
Speaker 5: What for wonderful years, ladies and gentlemen, do the fact
that we've had so many requests for the baby factory
that was on the program a few weeks ago. I'm
very happy to announce it will soon be recorded and
printed in book form. And now the story tonight in
the Skelton scrap Book of Satire is about railroad.
Speaker 7: Chapter one, Building the Railroads.
Speaker 2: Looking back, we find the building of our great railway
system was difficult. Each day progress was delayed by the
men of the west.
Speaker 9: Wooh woo, olcome on war.
Speaker 6: Way.
Speaker 10: Which one of you homebraids, there's the former of this
rail layer outfit. I am well, we don't know cattle
rusting outfits going through our land.
Speaker 4: We ain't cattle rustlers.
Speaker 10: Oh no, And watch them cow catchers on the front
of them engines.
Speaker 2: For chapter two, the train Callers. One of the most
confusing parts of the modern railroad station was the train caller.
Speaker 12: Half Apocasta firefire lats them apaco Alphaba alfa albaken on
track three abart.
Speaker 2: This went on for years, but finally the railroad officials
discovered the speaking system. Now travelers can understand the crane callers.
Today we hear the man calling trains.
Speaker 4: Clearly, gay train, get train yet al.
Speaker 2: Chapter three Speed Since the beginning of railroads. They have
tried to give us speed and more speed. And now
although trains travel at the rate of one hundred and
twenty five miles per hour, we still hear Hey.
Speaker 10: Your conductor, yes that what time?
Speaker 6: Does train do an ill facil at ten o'clock side?
Speaker 4: Or it was supposed to be a fast train?
Speaker 1: Man?
Speaker 6: Is there a fast train?
Speaker 10: Why lean out the wind that kiss my gals goodbye
in Dallas and kiss the cow hello and.
Speaker 4: Phone work.
Speaker 10: Lord. I could get off this train and run faster
than it's thorne beat it ill facial, then why don't
you You don't expect me till the.
Speaker 7: Train gets there. Chapter four is entitled the Inexperienced Traveler.
Speaker 6: Really.
Speaker 10: Rush, Let come on around.
Speaker 4: My gardener must have flipped again.
Speaker 6: Like we've got good accommodations this time.
Speaker 4: Yell me to the last drip.
Speaker 5: I couldn't sleep all night long, clickly clock, cleanly clock,
clicking clock, words over the wheels.
Speaker 6: Your birth was in the middle of the sleeper, I know,
but the.
Speaker 4: Guy in the upper berth had store teeth all night.
Speaker 13: Or hey, why don't we get somebody to carry this
luggie here? I got more grips than the door. Keep
her at a Masonic meeting.
Speaker 4: Heaven.
Speaker 6: Look at the mob of people waiting to get on
the train.
Speaker 4: Come on, we'll take a short.
Speaker 1: Are you flying on that fence?
Speaker 6: Get in line with the rest.
Speaker 4: Of the f I gotta hurry, I gotta mix the train.
Speaker 3: Where are you going? Where are you going?
Speaker 4: Oh? Wouldn't you like?
Speaker 9: And? Uh?
Speaker 6: Good time? Before you tell your suit.
Speaker 13: You couldn't tear this suit. This is a davids entpreneur.
It's like Davis is gonna stay here.
Speaker 4: All right, Folks, stand line, get in.
Speaker 6: Front of me, grieving on the back of my net.
Speaker 11: So what this is right there?
Speaker 3: I sure, I'll think it's not where you're going.
Speaker 4: I don't make any difference.
Speaker 13: My wife's going with me.
Speaker 3: No Niagara falls.
Speaker 5: Oh all right, look.
Speaker 4: Bob, don't ever menkin water around me again.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, I don't start anything. I just try
to be a little more polite.
Speaker 4: And I won't do it because politeness is what killed
my brother.
Speaker 3: Life has never hurt anybody killed my brother.
Speaker 13: He was a deep sea diver. One day he saw
a mermaid and kipped these hats.
Speaker 3: He saw mermaid.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know what that is? That the swords feast
was slacked on you, all right? Now here you go Chicago.
That's on the train.
Speaker 3: The Chicago's train is on the next track over here.
Speaker 1: You can go through here.
Speaker 3: You're not supposed to, but you will anyway, He goes me.
Speaker 13: Pretty well, boy, look at the big wheels on their
mazing Think that's something mail Coat, no.
Speaker 5: Little fun, never hurt anybody. I'm gonna stick my head
in there and scare him.
Speaker 13: All right, boy, he dips the stick up.
Speaker 4: Sorry, no sense of humor.
Speaker 6: Now will you stop trying to show off?
Speaker 11: Are you all right?
Speaker 6: I said, are you all right?
Speaker 4: Look? Either talk louder or help me find my ears?
Speaker 9: Man?
Speaker 7: Chapter five, The man who controls the railroad switches.
Speaker 6: Well, here I am.
Speaker 4: They're working on the railroad. Boy, what it toll? What? Well?
Speaker 13: Here goes O number forty seven. Now I got nothing
to do but get set around and twiddle my toes.
I used to twiddle, but I got.
Speaker 4: Going so fast one night set my shirt on fire.
Well I'm waiting. I guess I'll just figure out my
income tax.
Speaker 13: Let's see what with twenty percent of six dollars and
forty three cents bees?
Speaker 4: Oh, let them sue me.
Speaker 9: Let them.
Speaker 13: Well, it's eight thirty and old number sixty threes late.
I guess I better call up the dispatcher.
Speaker 5: Here do do do do do?
Speaker 4: Hello? This is for didn't hopper talking?
Speaker 7: Oh we did it?
Speaker 4: Hopper, cogitt k a diddle.
Speaker 11: Hopper.
Speaker 4: It's Clint clint Hey, where's the sixty three tan? Why?
Speaker 1: It'll be a little latest A lot of down with
college girls.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, no, Doug college engineer probably told me ran
out of cold.
Speaker 13: Yeah, great, up the goose egge. There's a cow down
there on the track. I better open the window and
chase her up there. She'll a hamburger. Wouldn't taste bad?
Speaker 4: No, I better chase her up there here sho hey, bossy,
go home.
Speaker 3: Go home.
Speaker 6: Why don't you why it's.
Speaker 5: Sarah do.
Speaker 6: Howdy?
Speaker 4: Duty to you? Come on up?
Speaker 7: Come on up?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, he brought something. Come in, sit down.
Speaker 6: See geez, that's quite a climb up them stairs.
Speaker 4: Will make you shop at home? What's that box? You
told me?
Speaker 6: I brought your lunch pail lunch fail.
Speaker 4: Don't think I ever tasted one of them?
Speaker 6: A pail clan, the food's inside. Ain't you ever have
no learning?
Speaker 13: Well, my old man taught me all he knew, which
still left me pretty much of an idiot.
Speaker 6: You know, And why don't you wash them smoky windows
so you can see the trails.
Speaker 4: I don't have to see him. I got my shelf trained.
I hear a noise of the train. I just know
what button to throw? Do switch?
Speaker 6: You know you mean you don't throw the switch? You
hear the noise of the train.
Speaker 4: No funny thing happened last week? You know. I heard
a noise coming from the north and the same noise
coming from the south.
Speaker 6: Good heavens, what did you do?
Speaker 5: Nothing?
Speaker 4: He sat there and listened to one big noise.
Speaker 6: Here comes the train.
Speaker 7: Long when won?
Speaker 1: What nice?
Speaker 7: So fast?
Speaker 6: I couldn't see it?
Speaker 3: Oh? What was it?
Speaker 6: The limited?
Speaker 14: No, that was the freak train, our fastest limited is coming.
Now sounds like the milk train.
Speaker 3: Though, Wait till you hear that one go by.
Speaker 4: It goes.
Speaker 6: She's bored, rush, Look at all them butters.
Speaker 4: Well, I press the button there and its side cracks.
Speaker 6: The freight trains too, Well, what's this button here?
Speaker 4: Well, I can't tell you that. That's a secret.
Speaker 6: See you, I'll keep it on.
Speaker 4: No, No, you can't keep your secret like this. Yeah, well,
I'll tell you. You know, there's a lot of a
bomb trains going through now see, Oh.
Speaker 6: Stop being so mysterious.
Speaker 3: What is this?
Speaker 6: Button?
Speaker 4: Just fell off my shirt?
Speaker 5: Now, if you don't mind, I got some work to
do on the new invention. Here a radar train stopper.
Speaker 4: What is this?
Speaker 14: Well, now listen, because this is really the plot of
the whole thing.
Speaker 13: It's a safety control invented to stop trains. See when
two trains are head for each other on the same track,
when I push this button, when they get real close
together and it stopped you, Well, do.
Speaker 6: You have to wait till I get close together?
Speaker 13: Sure, it's more exciting that way. I'm gonna playing on
number forty three in the AID train.
Speaker 4: In just a couple of minutes. Oh, here they come.
Speaker 6: I think you should sidetracked twenty three.
Speaker 10: Oh they are about one hundred and fifty feet apart.
Speaker 4: Now, well i'll pay.
Speaker 6: Cram. Look them trains were on separate tracks and gone
in the same direction.
Speaker 10: All the time.
Speaker 5: I knew that.
Speaker 4: They didn't how you spoil everything? Geez, They didn't know
what was going to happen.
Speaker 13: The faithful listening didn't know what happened and I saw
a couple of nudge each other and say, oh boy,
what erect is she's going to be?
Speaker 1: Now, medical science offers proof positive, No other leading cigarette
gives you less nicotine less throat irritating tars than the
new smoother, better tasting Brawly. Yes, prof positive, no other
leading cigarette gives you less nicotine less throat irritating tars
than the new Raley.
Speaker 3: That lovely star of humor esque John Crawford says, quote, I've.
Speaker 4: Seen reports, and it's true.
Speaker 5: Medical science has proved no other leading cigarette gives you
less nicotine less throat irritating tars than the new Rawleys.
Speaker 4: That's why I choose Rally's right.
Speaker 3: Joan Crawford.
Speaker 1: Those tests were based on the method used by the
United States government. So friends, enjoy the you smoother, better
tasting Raley, and remember, medical science offers proof positive.
Speaker 2: No other leading cigarette gives you less nicotine less throat
irritating tars than the new Raleigh cigarettes.
Speaker 5: David Forrester in his Roly Cigarette Orchestra Play, a novel
arrangement of Choppin's Minute Walls.
Speaker 2: The chapter thirty one of Railroads is entitled Headache and
a pullman coach. No railroad story would be complete without
the traveler who is nurse maid to a little child.
Speaker 6: Are you all right, Junior?
Speaker 9: Kay?
Speaker 4: No, I like riding on the train, you know, really?
Un Oh, I forgot to put them in an eye
overnight bag.
Speaker 5: Would you mind keeping an eye on my little grandson
while I get them?
Speaker 3: Oh, don't mind at all, man, It'll be a pleasure.
Speaker 4: Shall I tell him?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 7: I let it on him?
Speaker 3: What's your name?
Speaker 4: Junior? Better known as the hard Way?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 4: Why are you hiding your face? Jr? You aret besh?
Speaker 6: Don't beat the man?
Speaker 4: See you can you?
Speaker 3: Oh it's you, look madam. You don't have to keep
an eye on this lad.
Speaker 4: Now what did you do?
Speaker 1: He was holding his hand out the window. And tell
her what you did when we went through the last station.
Speaker 5: Okay there, okay, I'll tell I sniffed your mailbag.
Speaker 3: Yes, and that's a federal offence.
Speaker 4: Oh, I finally hit the jack potter.
Speaker 6: I don't know what I'm going to do with you.
Speaker 4: Why don't you just put me in the mail sack
and drop me off at the next station.
Speaker 5: See, the postmaster won't know where I'm supposed to go
because there won't be no address on me.
Speaker 4: See, Denniel, send me to the dead letter office, and
I'll just laid and just moldy and moldy, you know,
and nobody will ever know what they will happen to me. No,
no this she I don't cry, God very bless.
Speaker 11: It's a little hard, you know.
Speaker 3: I have a feeling that this trip is going to
make history.
Speaker 5: Well, I don't worry about it, do you like me
Grandpa does. When something happened to cause him a willow trouble,
he just gets a beer and forgets sorry about it.
Speaker 11: Why bear?
Speaker 4: Oh, I don't know. I got he figures two heads
better than one.
Speaker 9: I don't.
Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, good kid? Where are you taking him to
the reform school?
Speaker 4: No, I'm on my way back there. Refuse me, good doctor.
Speaker 6: We can't have the poor to make up our Bert
didn't sleep.
Speaker 3: Well, I'll just press that button and you'll coming button.
Speaker 4: Well, that keeps them busy to night morning. Can I
sleep from the window hair like I did before?
Speaker 6: Yes, I'll let you if you don't flye awake all
night yelling? Look Grandma eyes a fish?
Speaker 4: Now, where is junior?
Speaker 3: Junior? Here are we here?
Speaker 6: Kater?
Speaker 4: Here at the water fountain, pushing the holes in the
Dickey cup.
Speaker 6: You come here, it's time you.
Speaker 4: Were in this.
Speaker 5: Okay, okay, yeah, when you watch moving behind that green clatain,
how can you find out?
Speaker 4: But don't?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 4: You me? What do you want to do?
Speaker 6: Grow up to be a peeping town?
Speaker 4: That grandpoy you? They drive by your.
Speaker 6: What what do you have there? Where did you get
all those shoes? I found them in the agels, gave
up what there for the part of the shine? Now
you take them back and don't disturb anyway.
Speaker 5: Not only annoy the way gets annoyed her. Sweet see, boy,
look at the shine of these shoes.
Speaker 4: An I bet the guy that wears he has to back.
Speaker 5: Into a room to admire a rug, you know, gonna
look look for his paracos heel. I guess now it's keys.
Where does these go? Sports shoes?
Speaker 4: Now? Where did I get these? Two tone, one black
and one brown? I seat them here? Boy, I must
have funny looking feet, one bigger than you look. Well,
I'm gonna get back to but oh, listen to that
bigeloop pig.
Speaker 5: Boy, he sounds like the constellation with asthma. I'm gonna
climb up there and make him stop snowing. He's not
gonna keep me awake from I got skinning up the
curtain hill. Oh, I told me where, don't put him.
It's a good thing, they think. Or the conductor, the conductor,
the conductor, the conductor.
Speaker 1: What are you doing?
Speaker 3: You get back to your birth.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna get some water. I'm getting some water, all right,
but hurry then to bed with you. Okay, he's going
now I better get back the bed. Oh. Look at
that big foot sticking out of the curtains. Look at
them to they wook like candles. Don't say boost. I
had a match, a light one another.
Speaker 5: I wonder if he's stick me if I do I
get a weapon? And then again, maybe he's the type
of a person would like a good laugh, you know.
And then again maybe he would get mad. And then again,
I don't know how I'm staying here waste my time
thinking about I'm gonna do it anyhow.
Speaker 7: Maybe he did.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna bite his big toe and find out. Now
they're going to laugh on me, baby, please, Oh, I
never do that again.
Speaker 3: Why this guy really asleep?
Speaker 4: And I'm gonna play Peter Carter on his leg right.
Speaker 5: Right here, now, your grandmother, you do, and you better
count the coaches on this train every time it stops.
Speaker 1: I tell you you wouldn't a couple of coaches kidding.
Speaker 4: You gotta keep laughing, kid that you find out. You
find out.
Speaker 5: Boy, I heard that, and I've had just about enough
out of you for one trick.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 6: Today I went to water.
Speaker 4: I went not anymore tonight. I don't want it to drink.
I want to get shed in.
Speaker 3: Sir Walter, the pipe tobaco, the great superior on all counts.
Check them.
Speaker 1: A rich ripe, full bodied, burley bless Sir Walter Raleigh,
pipe tobacco mellowed with rum for extras, foothness, deep down,
satisfying goodness.
Speaker 3: That's Sir Walter Raleigh. Pipe tobacco, clean smoking.
Speaker 1: All the way down. No soggy heel leaves, only a
clean dry eye. And that's Sir Walter Raleigh. Pipe tobacco rip.
Speaker 2: Cut for slow, even cool Bernie.
Speaker 1: Sir Walter Raleigh, pipe tobacco smoke, Sir Walter Raleigh, the
quality pipe tobacco of America. That's govern has brought to
you by the round of Williamson Tobacco Corporation.
Speaker 4: Rets Cauvin, Goodbye and thanks for listening.
Speaker 11: International broadcast