Speaker 1: I made a decision face sunny Sun on Ihad a vision.
What night. Hi everybody, welcome to for crying out loud.
I was acting like I was on TV for a minute.
I was giving you a big, smart TV smile and
the cameras on me three two one, Hi, Hi, Sephanie.
How are you. I'm in a good mood today. I
am me too. We'll tell you we have a secret
that well. Okay, so we got a lot to talk about. Fuck,
so much to complain about. Oh good to talk about.
I love complaining. Yeah, So, how what's going one? A
week is too long to be away from you, Like
I know, I know, Sean.
Speaker 2: I think about you these days a lot during the week,
like stuff happens, Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Then I'm like, oh my god, I'm That's why I
took that picture and sent it to you in the
middle of the week, that picture of Natalia. Oh my god,
Oh no, what's going on? Okay? Okay, First of all,
I want to kick Olga in the nuts for doing this.
She took Natalia to the store last week to buy
uh to buy material that that she could use to
make slime. Now she doesn't sell slime. She that's savvy
like Elbie. What's her website called, give it we dot
think dot slime on Instagram. Yep, we dot think dot
slime on Instagram and that, and she makes all these up.
By the way, she made her own icon for the
wheat for the account. This is like her new thing.
What is up with kids and theirs their crazy scrappiness.
She just she's like, oh, I make icons for other
people too, Like what that's not even make a video
of myself on my iPhone and she's like, oh, like
he's ready for you now as I'm driving, I know
I suck. Okay, So she's slime. She took her to
the store to buy all this crap with her money
that she saved to make slime for her friends. She
got food coloring, she got baby oil, she got the soap,
she got the glitter, she got these Oh no, you
just say the glitter, the crunchy things, those round little
balls of like crunch.
Speaker 2: Oh that's for making flum I say, absolutely not allowed.
Had I known John has a rule, had I known, I.
Speaker 1: Would have not left. So I want to see what
out what.
Speaker 2: By the way, as John Heffron, the comedian once said, uh,
I think it was him. Glitter is the herpes of
arts and crafts supplies.
Speaker 1: He's of thousand percent ready to kind of set it
better myself. You can never get, can't get once you introduce,
Once it's introduced into that system of your house, it's in,
never going. It's in the carpet, it's in. So now
Adam spent a lot of money at for AstroTurf in
the backyard, right, yeah, okay, So Natalia I said, don't
do it in the house this time, go outside. Bad, bad,
bad decisions. She couldn't have just sat on the concrete
where you can spray it down. No, she had to
sit at the table that's above above the AstroTurf. And
so what happens, Well, my kids make slime on our
persian rug. That's what happened. It's about the size of
a football. You got to post that picture. I will
a size of the football and it's just baked into
the astrog it's just glue. And showing me a picture
of glue with the flown fucking balls, and it looks like,
who's the guy the Peter, Who's the porn guy that
called the decorator, Who's the one that they called the
decorator homes Peter Pete West, Peter West.
Speaker 2: It looks like they just shot a Peter West porno
on your Oh my god, look.
Speaker 1: Or somebody puked. It is horrendous. This is what when
you were calling me over the weekend. That's what I
was like. Yeah, I'm like, ahh go on, that sounds great.
I'm my nails.
Speaker 2: As you're like, there's gonna be a domestic violence incident
when Adam sees this. You know what I was like,
Adam is going to be really mad at you.
Speaker 1: Here's the one thing that Adam doesn't care is like mistakes, right, However,
this is not a mistake. This is not a mistake.
This is why the fuck would you let her do
her stupid thing outside of it?
Speaker 2: Because you can't know, because they will figure out a
way to fuck up whatever they're surrounding rights are. You
can come up with the best idea. You could make
them do it on the cement outside. But then somehow
there's gonna be like helter Skelter design entire.
Speaker 1: Garage, and you're gonna be like, how did that happen?
There's gonna be like, I have no idea. Some smeared
in places. This was Saturday. It was like a Quentin
Tarantino movie, right, this was Saturday, and I have to
hire a cleaner in the inn. Yeah, I had to
get what's his name, the wolf in the baked into
the astro turf. So I'm texting Ray. Who's I text Ray?
How do you get And he's like, uh, I don't
even remember it. He's like, put ice cubes on it,
get it, get it hard, and then work it. Work it.
Like all right, I'll get back to you on that.
And then that's all saturday of cleaning trying to get
that ship out. You're like, that's gum by the way, Yeah, yeah,
gum from fucking uh a giant. By the way. We're
having a backyard party for oh god, don't tell anybody,
oh surprise. Hopefully she doesn't listen, right he doesn't. No,
she listens. She's such a narcissist. Now, yeah, that was
a joke. People. We uh we have a uh We're
having a surprise party for Olga this Saturday in the backyard.
That's so sweet. Today's our birthday. So make her clean
up that area. I know than in preparation for her party.
She's the one that bought that shit. I wouldn't have
bought all that crap. She's got that old party for you,
Olga that now get down on your knees and can
clean that ship up. And after all day Saturday trying
to get that out. Then yesterday she has her little
friend come over again, and this time I'm like, do
it on here. This area is your area right here,
and when you're done clean it up. She has had
you know how ten year olds clean up. It's yes,
it's I'm living this, nat is my life. Then I
walk over to the TV room and it's in the
It's in the carpet, in the carpet. Now it's it's
hard as a rock, stuck into the carpet. I want
to kill myself. I want to kill Olga. I want
to go on a shooting spree with Floam. And I
don't got.
Speaker 2: First of all, you have to you never know. I'm
a never I'm a never flown.
Speaker 1: I'm a never flower, never flown again. No, I just
I don't. I don't care how much my kids cry.
I go, no, what what what is Floam even for?
I don't stuff ship. It's the devil, it is, it's
devil and it flies if people don't know what floam is, Yeah, just.
Speaker 2: The stuff that's like slime, except for it has all
these little styrofoam balls in it. Imagine it's like imagine
slime made from the inside of a bean bag chair,
and it's just it gets everywhere, and then the little
balls get everywhere.
Speaker 1: The balls are in the coffee, in the coffee maker,
in the toaster, how the toaster, how sur movie. It
is like a horror movie. It's everywhere.
Speaker 2: It's by the way, I don't even like this. I
don't like the smell of slime anymore.
Speaker 1: And it's like a very unique smell that is like
a mixture of cleaning products and glue. And now when
I walk into the house, I'm just like, oh, it's
a smell of nightmare. Yeah, it's terrifying to me. But
by the.
Speaker 2: Way, can I just bring up something that this leads
me to something that is also annoying having to do
with slime, which is have you seen like these alarmists? Okay,
there's a lot of reasons to hate slime. Although the
reason to love slime is it keeps the kids.
Speaker 1: Busy for like one in hours, the one and only I.
Speaker 2: Just bought my kids literally last night, they I went
to Michael's and bought them a gallon bottle of glue
because guess what it was so cheap. It was eighteen dollars.
I heard the same huge bottle of it. And I'm like,
they're every day they're like, we go buy some glue
because all Be needs to keep up her Instagram account.
Speaker 1: We do think dot slime mm hmm.
Speaker 2: By the way, she's got like six hundred and fifty followers.
Now she's like the star of her school. Mean, yes,
but what I was going to say is this is
what always happens with people, the kind of people we
don't like.
Speaker 1: Some mom wrote a post on Facebook.
Speaker 2: I don't know who it is, you know, just some
random mom was like, I wish I could find I
got to find the post.
Speaker 1: I don't know where it is.
Speaker 2: But some mom was like wrote an article for like
Huffington Post about how her kids started coughing a lot
after making slime and how she's figured out that slime
is actually toxic and she went and looked at all
the ingredients and like, did you know that you know
when you're using borax that that's boric acid and that's
a toxic substance. And and then, of course, so what
happens is people start sharing it, right, it spreads like wildfire.
Suddenly everyone's like, oh my god, slime is terrible for you.
Speaker 1: And then there's an article about some girl her hands
using here's the thing. No, they fucking didn't.
Speaker 2: Okay, you fucking crazy alarmists are ridiculous.
Speaker 1: Real it in. Yeah, hashtag real it in. She had
nothing else to do but look at all the ingredients
that was in borax.
Speaker 2: But here's the thing too, this woman, this woman wrote
this post. I call her like patient zero. And then
a chemist, some woman who's like a chemist.
Speaker 1: Wrote on her post like hey, just to let you know,
like I'm a chemist, and that's actually incorrect information, Like
borax is not boric acid. It's a different it's a
this blah blah blah salt. It's a mineral and naturally
occurring mineral. It's a different thing borick than boric acid.
So that's one thing.
Speaker 2: Secondly, the glue you're talking about in your alarmist article
is the kind is like airplane glue that causes that
that causes like inflammation your lungs, blah blah, blah, this
is not that Elmer's glue is non toxic and here's
what it is. So then she writes back to that, like, listen,
I'm not saying like I didn't like. I'm just saying like,
it's my mother's, my mommy intuition that tells me, like
I just have a gut feeling that that's what's making
my kids sick. Okay, listen, you fucking irresponsible hussy mine.
Speaker 1: Don't your gut feeling your don't don't ignorre in slut,
don't talk back to a chemist and go, well, I
don't care about like facts. I'm just saying this is
my feeling, my feeling. I hate that. Well guess what
now A million moms are passing this around and going,
don't do slime. Look, there's a lot of good reasons
to not do let your kids do slime, like getting
it in the AstroTurf and costing us and getting it
in my Persian rug right, and me having to throw
out Maddie's pants last night because blue slime is embedded
in the pants and I don't feel like washing them
because they're you know, from three years ago from children's place.
But it's not because it's made of boric acid and
it's causing third degree burns on kids and they're seeing
it in emergency rooms. No they're not. Oh, my comrad,
you know this. And she put it on the Huffington Post.
Speaker 2: Well some you know, it was one of those things
where she wrote an article like on her blog or whatever. No,
it's just that suddenly it's spread and then everybody, I
was a bunch of people were like, uh, flagging me,
you know, yeah, going hey, stad, tagging me on Facebook,
going oh, you're going to want to see this, And
then it's like that article and then Huffington Post ran
that a mom says that the and then there was
an article about a kid who got burned and they from.
Speaker 1: But it wasn't the same. Oh I know, I know,
I know, I know.
Speaker 2: And then there was another one. Did you happen to
I know you're not on Facebook all the time, but
what is it? There's this article that somebody that I
want to read to you. Okay, so go on and
I have to find it, find it. I have to
find it, but you find it?
Speaker 1: What else happened? So you know what? How about we
talk about stamps dot com real quick and then sure.
So these days you can get practically everything on demand,
just like our podcast right listening to us right now,
when you want some stamps, when you can get put
why go to the post office when you can get
postage on demand with stamps dot com. Anything you do
at the post office you can do right from your
desk at stamps dot com. You can buy and print
US officials postage stamps for any letter, any package using
your own printer. So if you go to stamps dot com,
and by the way, it never closes the post office
if you have it. And by the way, if your
kid has a slime account on Instagram like we dot
think dot slime and they're going to be sending out
packages of slime to people money saver and timesaver stamps
dot com right now, stampst dot com has a special
offer for our listeners. If you use our code FCL,
you get a four week trial which includes postage and
a digital scale. So why wait, why don't not just
go to stamps dot com before you do anything else
and click on the microphone at the top of the
homepage and type in FCL. So don't go to the
post office ever again.
Speaker 2: Okay, So I came across this article because somebody tagged
me on it on Facebook and it was about and.
Speaker 1: Then so looking for it.
Speaker 2: I just wrote into my search on Facebook Ikea and
the first thing that came up was Ikea human trafficking. Okay,
and then the first link that I find and I
have to read you the blog post because it's so
fucking crazy.
Speaker 1: Sorry, I'm dropping a lot of thought, ady day nuts.
It says mom's warning about human trafficking at Ikea goes
viral what you need to know news. Okay, First of all,
this is so hilarious to me and about how crazy
people are. Okay, moms need to know. Why do we
get get dragged into everything? Moms need to know? Okay,
So I have to find you this face Okay, so
this woman, Mom's this woman? Yeah shit, it's saying that
the link can't be displayed right now near Okay there,
Oh my god, this is hilarious. It's even on snopes
dot com. I really want to read. I really want
to read you the article though. Okay.
Speaker 2: So snopes dot com says it's unproven Facebook user. Okay,
so this woman, I wonder if they made her take
it down maybe.
Speaker 1: Well wait, a second, CBS News posted it.
Speaker 2: And now there's all these things. Mom shares harrowing story
of alleged encounter with human traffickers. Mom's chilling encounter with
human traffickers reiterates, Okay, why.
Speaker 1: A mom's Facebook warning?
Speaker 2: Oh about human Okay, so this woman wrote this post,
but I really want to read it to you.
Speaker 1: What if you google it? Kaylen, can you google ikea mom? Yeah,
while we're just talking about other things, can you find
the actual mom human trafficking?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Ikea human trafficking, And then you're gonna we I
want to find her actual original post it. So of
course these things, it just goes viral because she writes
this post and it I was immediately like what she was, Like,
I was with my kids and we were at Ikea
and there were some men. There was a man like
looking at us. This is really the only proof she had.
She's like, there was a man looking at us.
Speaker 1: And I'd heard stories about like kids being bought into
like stolen and kidnapped and put into human trafficking. And
she goes and she mellus not too much sword and scale.
I know, right, I blame Mike Boudet for this now
it's all his fault. So then she goes on this
whole story about how and then then there was another
guy who was kind of looking at them, and then
they were in this one room and her kid was
like playing on jumping around on the couches for thirty minutes,
and the guy didn't move. So then she leaves the
area and she's at another part of IKEA, and she
realized the guy was also there, Yeah, because maybe he
was looking for a fucking couch, you psycho.
Speaker 2: And then and then she's like after they left, she goes,
oh my god, it was like we narrowly escaped human
traffickers based on nothing. And then all of these people
like where I got tagged on the post, They're like,
oh my god, horrifying, like so scary, Like this is
why I'm so protective of my kids, because this kind
of stuff could happen anywhere. And I'm going, like, what
kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: Somebody walking around imagining that somebody's trying to like kidnap
you and ida what I mean, you have to hear.
I read it to John and he was laughing so hard,
and I'm like, I know it's funny, but now it's
everywhere because learning about human trafficking, Anikia goes viral. Brush
with human traffickers.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but then when you start, when you start going
into it a little so I the person who tagged me,
I wrote back on the thing. I was like, but
what makes her think? What makes her think that that
was human traffickers? Like, what's how did she know that
it was human traffickers? She based on no actual conversation
with the person or anything that happened. Nothing happened.
Speaker 1: Well, how come everybody's posting it? Why isn't anybody Because
people they just go, hey lady.
Speaker 2: Because people are alarmists. It's just what we talk about
all the time. It's the same as the slime. Somebody
goes like, my kid was coughing after making slime. Oh
my god, slime is toxic.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 2: By the way, people have been making handmaking slime for
like forty years, right since before there was actual plato
available to play with. They were figuring out ways to
make silly putty.
Speaker 1: And nobody was going to the hospital with third degree
burns or having pneumonia. People because happened in Olga's village.
You know, you think like them all, No, don't make
this lime that my child is coughing. No, no, that
man was looking at my kid like, do you think
it's what Adam says. We've run out of problem officially,
So the mom, that's the mom, and then her post
it seems like the very very long post. Yeah, I
want to read it. I want to read it. Can
you make it biggert me make sure it's got the
right part of it because they kind of clipped some.
I recently read a post by a mother I didn't know. Yeah, okay,
here we go, okay, okay, Oh you guys got to
hear this.
Speaker 2: A few days ago, my mom and I took the kids.
I have three kids, a daughter who's four, and two
sons one and a half years and seven weeks. Yeah,
I'm sure they're trying to kidnap your seven week old
and put him in human tres a game freak Okay
to Aikia. We enjoy going and it's always nice to
get the kids out of the house. Exclamation point. You
can see she's terrified about her experience. We went specifically
to look at couches. We were in the couch section
and the kids were enjoying climbing on each couch and
trying them out. My daughter was trying to convince us
which couch we should get. My older son was happily
walking from couch to couch, flopping himself on each one.
My baby was snuggled into the sling, sound asleep. After
a few minutes, and then this is all in bold.
Speaker 1: I noticed a well dressed middle aged man circling the area,
getting closer to me and the kids. At one point
he came right up to me and the boys, and
instinctively I put myself between he and my mobile son.
All in bold, I had a bad feeling. God.
Speaker 2: He continued to circle the area, staring at the kids.
He occasionally picked something up, pretending to look at it,
but looking right over at us instead. My mom noticed
as well and mentioned that we needed to keep an
eye on him.
Speaker 1: Oh it's We moved on, and so did he closely. Okay, bitch,
you're in ike. Yeah, where is there to go? It's
always bad when the mom is there too, to egg
on the stupid paranoid daughter of it. Right, where do
you think it came from? My son wandered into one
of the little display rooms across from the couches, and
I followed him. Closely with my baby strapped to me.
My mom said, she watched as the older man dropped
what he was doing and quickly and closely followed us
into the area. At the same time, all in Bold,
she noticed another man, dressed more casually and in his twenties.
He wasn't looking at us, but was walking the same
circling pattern around us as the first man. My mom
and I decided to sit down and wait for them
to move on. Then, all in Bold, we had a
gut feeling something was going on, but we hoped we
were wrong and they would move on.
Speaker 2: So we sat in one of the little display rooms
for close to thirty minutes.
Speaker 1: And they sat too. They sat down on one of
the couches on the display floor that faced us.
Speaker 2: That was when we knew our gut feeling was right
and something was off. They sat the whole time we sat,
and stood up right as we got up. We continued
on and my mom turned around and realized the two
men had moved and were sitting only one couch away
from each other, still facing our direction.
Speaker 1: The older man was all in Bold, still watching us.
She made eye contact very clearly, letting them know that
we saw them. Yeah, no shit, and we moved on.
Speaker 2: We managed to lose them at that point what we
talked with an employee circled back and used the bathroom
and went out a different section, but still kept the
kids right with us the whole time. I kept the
baby in the sling, which kept my hands free. In
my eyes too, I didn't have to keep an eye
on the stroller and two kids. I just had to
watch my older ones. When we got through the maze
of Ikea, we reported what happened to security?
Speaker 1: What did you report?
Speaker 2: After talking through the experience, There are some things I
want to point out. Number One, these men weren't shopping
while they walked around the store.
Speaker 1: They weren't looking at things, not really.
Speaker 2: The older man would occasionally pick something up and act
like he was looking at it, but he'd look right
over the top of it at my kids. Then he'd
drop it and move on as soon as we did. Two,
they weren't waiting for anyone. Often you see men in
a place like Ikea waiting for their wives, but these
guys appeared to be alone. They didn't even talk to
each other because maybe they didn't know each other, you freak.
They didn't talk to anyone. They didn't smile casually at people.
Not everybody smiles at everybody at Ikea, by the way,
that would be more psycho and not smiling at people.
What would your story be if they were smiling at
everybody or freak. In fact, early on, I looked at
the older guy when he got close to us and smiled,
which is something I do regularly when I'm out. I'm
always making eye contact with people. He looked away. That
was odd to me. Three they were dressed nicely, but
very differently. I would have never put these two together.
And they didn't appear to be together. Uh, because maybe
they weren't together.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: I was reading this and I was like, what is
going on? Number Four, The area they were hanging around
had an exit right by it. Aikia is a massive,
confusing maze of a store. But they could have run
out the exit with my child and handed them off
to someone waiting outside and been gone before I could
find them.
Speaker 1: Something was off. We knew it in our gut. I
am almost sure we were the targets of human trafficking.
This is happening all over and including the United States.
And then she goes on and on.
Speaker 2: Then she goes, please please be aware that when you're
out with your children, it's not the time to be
texting or facebooking or chatting on the phone. When you're
in a public place with your kids, please be aware
and present it so that.
Speaker 1: You don't become a victim. What. Oh my god, I'm
so angry right now, as you can tell. Had I
not been paying attention that day or all in bold,
had I let my kids roam and play while I
checked my phone, I may have lost one. The thought
of it makes me completely ill, especially because I have
been guilty of this. Also, in hindsight, I would have
taken a picture of the guys, probably right in their
faces so they saw me. Do it. Trust your gut,
It's there for a reason. And then under it. The
person who wrote the article wrote, thank goodness, DeAndre listened
to her gut and paid close attention to her little ones.
Thank god or share this mother's words of comyest so
they oh people, and people shared it. It went completely viral.
What's this article? It came from uh inspire more dot com?
What the fuck is that inspire more?
Speaker 2: I don't know, but now it's completely viral, and it
was everywhere, and here's the thing, here's the thing, people
tagging everybody, Look what could happen?
Speaker 1: But nothing happened.
Speaker 2: She basically accused two people who weren't even interacting with
each other. She decided not only were they trying to
kidnap her children and they and they never spoke to
each other. These two men, one was young and dressed
casually and one was an older man dressed nicely. But
somehow she's decided that not only were they trying to
in cohoots with each other, they were going to kidnap
her children and solve them into sex trafficking.
Speaker 1: Well, why wouldn't you. I would have thought the same thing,
wouldn't you. But and then when everybody was like, yes,
oh my god, we've got to walk our kids, that's
the part that's crazy. It's Yes, there's this chick who
reminds me of so many that we both know but
I don't want to say on air, and her crazy
batshit mom is the same way, like everything is like
I ate bad ice cream and how I got to
go to the emergency room because I'm sick. You know,
It's like it fine, all right, you want to be
batshit crazy? You want your mom's gonna be batshit crazy
so that she feeds into your bats You two can
be you too, you know, can be batchet crazy together
and live happily. Ever after, however, the people that say
inspire and share ended around warn, warn, and then that
person gets it and then gets freaked out and then
said and that dolls are the idiots. And thankfully, thankfully
the bucks stopped at you, because are you the only
one that was like? Right?
Speaker 2: So I wrote on the person who sent it to me.
One of their first friend was like, oh my god, horrifying.
This is exactly the kind of thing I worry about.
And then the next person was like, oh, what a
great warning. And then I wrote, how did they know
that they were sex traffickers?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: And then she the woman who wrote the thing, I
think she's a listener of our show, because she's not
somebody she wrote yeah, but she goes no, she goes yeah,
that's kind of true. I was like, how did she
put that together? Nothing happened, Nothing happened. They didn't approach her,
they didn't talk to her. They didn't say like, hey,
how old your kid? Nothing, They never spoke to her,
isn't it possible they were shopping. Also, if you're also,
why were they staying in the couch area for thirty minutes?
And maybe the guy worked at the fucking store, right,
maybe he was this is what I said, I go,
maybe he was a detective at the store and he
was like, why are these people jumping on the couches
for thirty minutes?
Speaker 1: Like, let me keep an eye on these people. Okay,
But even if he wasn't could he have been shopping?
How do you know? And even if he was watching you,
how did you then you lost him though? Right?
Speaker 2: First of all, you waited around to see what he
would these people would do for thirty minutes, and they
were there too. Well, so are a lot of people.
A lot of people spend time at Ikea and they
walk the same way, you know why because it's a
circular path from section to section. Yes, but the thing
that killed me was nothing happened.
Speaker 1: You had no proof. And then later and the thing
you were like, I was right, my gut feeling was right. No,
based on what Once you point that out to people,
they're like, oh, yeah, that's true, I guess, but you know,
but it could happen. Something like that could But it didn't.
It could anything could happen, your fucking morons. I mean,
now this woman gets all this out of trouble, I
mean out of problems, like officially, and now people are like,
oh my god, Ikea is a hotbed of human sexual traffickers.
Don't go to Ikea. Don't bring your kids toke And
then it turns into a little mini lecture about like ladies,
stop texting. First of when you're out, you can't write
text because you could look down for one minute. And
so what happened to me? Get happened to you? Right?
Nothing happened to you. Let me ask you this. If
you were a sex traffic if you wanted to kidnap
somebody and put them into a sex ring and you
were professional at it, would I grab a seven week old?
For sure? Would you go to Ikea? How the fuck
are you going to get out? You can't get out
of Ikea. There's no exits, right, how the hell are
you going? You? You'd have to buy something? Yeah, how
are you supposed to kidnap somebody out of Ikea?
Speaker 2: You'd have to buy a six dollars lamp at the
very least, Like you're not like if that that alone.
Speaker 1: Like, just go to Costco if you're like, you know,
they're there are wide exits, like right, truck would be
right there in the like pick up, so they.
Speaker 2: Check your receipt at Costco, so you'd be like, no,
this kid's with me.
Speaker 1: I swear to God there on my Yeah, unbelievable. Go
to your rouse, go to pay someplace where you would
be able to pull your truck up. Put you a
little you know, hazards on, Like you're picking up something right,
you know what I mean, like big thing. Yeah, I'm
picking up a couple kids to sell into track.
Speaker 2: And you lissies, we're not making fun of trafficking at all,
but it's horrible and we're down with talking about vending it.
Speaker 1: I was thinking about that, but this is not this
And anyway, one of the.
Speaker 2: Articles, if you google it, says this is how it
hurts actual victims of sexual traffic, Exact moms like this
who are like, oh my god, my kids almost got
sold into sexual trafficking right at Ikia because somebody was
lingering around the couch section for thirty minutes.
Speaker 1: Poor guy. Imagine what Stan said when he got home
a day Jesus, Wow, what a day, Man, this fucking
woman was staring me down. I must be looking good
or something.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this woman has three kids, but she's she was
kind of a milk yeah, like I.
Speaker 1: Mean a little earthy, crunchy with her baby round and
you're off all of yourself. He's like, nah, I've been
working out, you know, I lost a couple pounds else
and I don't know I grew up with. But my
goatee is like really feeling in nice. You know, she's
checking me out too that. She's like, no men ever
shop yeah their own really really, none OF's to Ikea
all the time.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of men that are not married that
like go to fu. Yeah, oh my god, I was
so mad.
Speaker 1: I read that to Johnny.
Speaker 2: He goes, that's a good article about that article, like
about these alarmists, And then.
Speaker 1: I was like, you should write an article about.
Speaker 2: Facebook with the slime and the based on no evidence
of any kind. People freaking out and then writing something
and then everybody shares it like it happened.
Speaker 1: I would like, it's fat woman. I would love to
talk to her on our show. Yes, you know how
many times she's been in the emergency room, how many
times her kid's been to the emergency room. You know,
I'm sure she's got some sort of like allergy strictions
and stuff like that. I mean, and then the mom
the mom, oh dear, Oh yeah, you're right, he's looking
you know, it's like I would love to get a
hold of her. She's probably she's that same type. That's
like because her baby's seven weeks. That's like everybody is
like staring at my baby because they think it's so cute,
Like everybody wants People are trying to get me to
get my baby into modeling. Well based on what did
anyone give you a business card? No? I can just tell.
Speaker 2: I can just tell by the way they're like, oh,
my baby's so cute that they wanted to be.
Speaker 1: It's also that bitch that calls nine one one when
you got a party going like down the street. Yeah,
like a like seven thirty eight o'clock at night, the noise,
the level is too loud, the noise levels out of control.
There's gangsters, fucking bitch.
Speaker 2: I just my favorite, though, is how she turned it
into a way to like, uh, you know, Mom's plain
to everybody about how, you know, please don't be facebooking
when you're out at IKEA because.
Speaker 1: Somebody could really get hurt.
Speaker 2: Listen, ladies, a lot of you are guilty of this.
I have been guilty of it too. I text, I
have looked away from my children for.
Speaker 1: A minute, done it, just like everybody out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I learned my lesson when my kids almost
got sold into sex trafficking at I.
Speaker 1: Oh they didn't, I stand, Oh my god.
Speaker 2: And some other person who never spoke to the other guy.
But she's positive that they're in cahoots. Like at first
she wasn't positive, but then later she became completely positive,
even though they lost them. I know, and talk to employees,
but imagine that she went and talked to the employees.
Speaker 1: Yeah, seriously, some people walking around here and they were
staring at me. I think they're selling my they want
to sell my kid into sex trafficking.
Speaker 2: They're in a whole ring. It's probably a nationwide ring.
It's probably even happening in Sweden.
Speaker 1: It's happening right now where I gets. Happening at the
ike A headquarters. Swedish meatballs and sex trafficking. A lot
of people don't know that except the assembly is required.
Oh oh my god. No, but really, if you're gonna
end seriously, like, how do you cannet somebody out of ikey?
I can't even get out of my key myself, I know,
but it reminded me of it because of the thing
of like everything that's good, people have to not that's good.
I'm not saying slime is so great, but somebody has
to find a way to like shit on it and
go like, it's.
Speaker 2: Bad for you. You're a bad mom if you're letting your
kids do it. And then you get five more moms
that come on that same thread and are like, here's
a healthy way that.
Speaker 1: I found to do it. You know you have to
use borax, you can use right.
Speaker 2: Blah blah blah. It's like, oh, so these are the
organic moms.
Speaker 1: Right right, these are the like organic slime.
Speaker 2: Yeah, these are the let's take something that our kids
are having fun with for twenty minutes and turn it
into a fifteen hour project where you're shopping you know
where you have to go to Thailand.
Speaker 1: To get that angry right, right? Yeah, it's fucking hard
enough to find glue at this point. Now, I'm not.
Speaker 2: Gonna why does it make me so mad?
Speaker 1: I know it's irritated. Why did these people have to
make everything harder? Ah, use what they should be take
their time to do. Figure out a way to get
this shit out of clothes and out of AstroTurf. Thank you.
Spend your time doing that, not how to make it
so that it's edible. Right. I was telling Natalia, I go,
he Phil's gonna die someday by licking and eating that stuff.
You can't let it just sit there on the floor
like that. And she has to put it on the
concrete so like cools and stuff. I don't know what
the hell, Oh my god, they put it on everything.
They'll like, they'll just be like a big thing of
slime on the dining room table. Yeah, you're like, no,
it doesn't go there, right, No.
Speaker 2: Yesterday Sadie had a friend over and sweet, very sweet girl,
and they were you know, it's even when they get older,
when your kids are quiet, they're never up to any good.
Like when they're busy and quiet for a long period
of time. Beware, especially if there's a door closed.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so they apparently, and John says he takes the
blame for this. So Lbie made this little project where
she took a bulletin board, and she painted a dry
race board and she painted it and made it like
look cool, and then she anyway, so Sadie, so Elbie
was out, and Sadie and her friend decided that the
thing they must do, the thing that was going to
entertain them.
Speaker 1: Was to draw on Elbie's dry erase board. They couldn't
just draw on like some pictures.
Speaker 2: Some blank paper, right, can't know They needed that dry
erase board. So John, in all his dad wisdom, was like,
I think that's okay. You know that Elb's twelve, right,
It's not going to be okay with her. She just
spent like a day painting that thing and making it perfect.
So Sadie and her little friend took the dry erase
pen and they made pictures and played Hangman and did
their thing. And in the process of doing that, they
drew on the painted frame of it and ate food
on it near it, and then got done and left
it there.
Speaker 1: Oh no.
Speaker 2: So Alvie comes home later and is understandably really upset.
She gets mad and gets mad at Sadie. It's like, Sadie,
you ruin this.
Speaker 1: You know, And then Sadie starts crying and is mad
at Lbie for being mad at her. I didn't mean to.
I didn't do it, and then she's crying. So then
I come out.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm probably listening to Sword and Scale, you know,
enjoying myself. How dare I enjoy myself for five fucking
minutes in my house? And I have to go out
there and see what's going on. I got Sadie crying
and Elbie's mad, and always my first instinct is to
get mad at Lbie for getting mad at Sadie. But
I'm like, let me, let me go and see what's
going on. So I go into Elbe's room, what's going on?
And she says, look at my bulletin board, look what happened?
And sure enough, she drawn like they drawn like black
marks on the painted Elbie had made it like a
like a picture frame, and there's just black marks all
over it, and then they just left it there.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, Sadie, what are you thinking? Like you're nine,
you're not a five? Did you think that Albie wouldn't notice,
you know? And then she's upset and crying. I didn't
know need to. I didn't do it. My friend did it.
And I'm like so then I'm mad. And then.
Speaker 2: Elbie had to repaint the whole. Elbie's very forgiving. She
was just like, whatever, fine, I'll just repaint it. And
then Sadie's like, do you.
Speaker 1: Want me to repaint it for you? I'll do it.
Speaker 2: And then I had to give Sadie a whole lecture
about ruining people's stuff. But this is the attitude that
I have for my kids when they're making slime. They're
not worried. They're just gonna make it and then leave.
There's food coloring on the sink, and then there's food
coloring on the toaster, and like everything is like in
a different shade.
Speaker 1: And I'm like really, and they don't understand. Why do
you get so upset? I know so and Talia's like,
why do you get so upset? Mom? I go because
she goes I clean it up. I go, look at
the area. Does it look cleaned up to you? Our
white stools have red crap on it. Now, the ship's
all the floam is everywhere. It's all over the kitchen,
just blowing around. Your dog is over there licking shit
off the ground, gonna die. Does it look does it
look clean? I'm the one that has to clean it,
that's the thing.
Speaker 2: And they need to write an article that your dog
almost died from looking floam.
Speaker 1: Yeah, m hmm, it's dangerous. Don't ever, then she brings
it with her like a stress ball to like Sonny's games,
and she just sits there and plays with it and
plays with it. Here, touch it, touch it. Isn't it cute?
Look a Touch it so much? Catch it? Touch it,
touch it and it's always sticky. Make it and it
sticks to your hand.
Speaker 2: It's not like the real slime that you used to
buy right from the store that doesn't stick to your hand.
Speaker 1: Right, this kind you always need to wash your hand afterwards.
It always leaves leaves residue.
Speaker 2: But they have to have you touch it, I know.
And then they go like this, no, but touch this one.
This is not sticky. Oh that's sure enough.
Speaker 1: It's still all the time. She all, that's her Lyne.
This was not sticky. This was not sticky. She lines
them up too, like this one's the peak. Look, it's
all easter colors, like huh oh, yeah, so's my kitchen
Easter colors? Now what until Daddy gets home? And then
Daddy and she's like Daddy's not gonna care because Daddy
doesn't get mad at mistakes. What she had her father
daughter dance on Friday night. Oh yeah, I saw the picture.
She looked so cute. Yeah, she was excited. She had
father daughter dance. And I said, so. She came home
and I said, so, did you have fun? She said yeah.
I go did you dance with daddy? And she said no?
And I said, what'd you do? She goes, I dance
with my friends. I go, what did daddy do? And
she goes talk to mister sample outside for three hours.
I said really, and she's like yeah. They came in
once in a while and then they said want to dance,
and we shoved them out and said no, keep talking.
And then they went back outside and just chit chatted
for he just talks and talks and talks and talk talk,
you know, to mister b mister Buddha for two hours,
cheot his zero off. But I take it that Natalia
wasn't bummed about that. She was like, great, Yeah, she
had fun. I think it's the idea is more fun
than the actual. Yeah right, it's like, oh my dad's here,
right right, right, right right, Yeah, even that's not she's
lukewarm on that was he excited about doing it? Yeah,
he was fine, put it on his calendar months early,
and then Sonny had his big he had this tryout,
so sad, I don't, Oh, we're going to catch up
from last week? Yeah, did I tell you? Well? You
were waiting for the call. And then he was going
to have to re retry retry.
Speaker 2: I almost haid, reaudition. Yes, this would have been the
wrong terminology. Yes, he was going to have to get
re evaluated, reevaluate.
Speaker 1: So he went back for the reevaluation and eight boys
from his school that he plays basketball with every day
went there and I said to him, what if, y'all?
What if? What if? Sonny? What if? And he was like,
I'll be okay because what if they all get picked
and he didn't. That was going to be my worst nightmare.
And then the next day I get the email. It said, congratulations,
we would love to have you, you know, play on
our team. Oh yay. Yeah he made it for one boy.
That broke my heart. I go, but what about Mark?
And he was like he didn't make it because I
saw all the names and I was like, oh, Mark's
not on there, and he was like, oh no, I
mean it just it broke my heart. But he I
asked him a couple days later, I said to how
you guys been talking about it? She goes, no, no, no, no,
we don't talk about it when he's around. I love
that the boys are like that. The girls they say
they're like that, I think they like to flaunt shit.
Boys are less like zip it. I love that Sonny
has that quality. There was one time where he was
at Jensen's house at a party, at a birthday party,
and Matthew, his other friend, invited him to come sleep
over that night. And so he Adam was talking to
Jensen's dad and h sitting there at the table you know,
hot dog, and Sonny came around the corner and whispered
into Adam's ear and said, Matthew invited me to spend
the night. Can I go? And Adam Adam's like h
and he's talking to Jensen's dad and he's like huh,
and he was like son He's like and he's like like,
you know, gave him the look like sh and he's like,
Matthew invited me to spend the night. Can I go?
And He's like Matthew invited to spend the night like loud,
and he's like, Sonny had a pencil, he break it
in half. Like I love that quality. Yeah, it's like
just and they the boys are all sincere about it.
You know, Natalia, I don't know, Like I said, you know,
are you gonna talk about the trip we had in Santa Monica.
Don't bring it up in front of cammy little buddah
blah blah blah. So no, I don't. I don't, I don't,
but I don't know, you know, like whatever, But it's
it's a nice quality that the boys have. But yeah,
they all he made. So now he's got yet another
sport to do. And so now he's got all these
practices like almost every night. Plus he's got the flag
football game every Sunday, and it's just it's just a
never ending thing. But they got so his very first
tournament was this weekend with this Elite Flyers basketball team
that he got on creamed, got creamed, got crushed. And
this is like they're taking it to another level with
this team. Like this guy, this is a young guy.
He went through you know, all the high school varsity shit.
Now he's like assistant coach at one of the colleges,
local colleges, and he's like, he loves respectful kids. He's
very he's the great. He's very encouraging and he brings
he doesn't want them to be down on themselves. But
he is also tough. And if if if somebody like
if somebody if if like he does a screw image
and one kid was like like like if another kid
didn't make it, and it was like oh, and he's like,
hey stop. He goes, you don't do that. You don't
make your teammate feel bad for missing a basket. Now
go run a lap, make him run. He makes well,
I like that. Yeah, he goes, this is a this
is a team sports, not an individual sport. You don't
blah blah blah. He's a great guy. And he he said,
yeah he's a young guy, but uh yeah, these boys
are getting they're like it's they're taking it up a notch.
And Sonny is good, but he's not he's still not aggressive,
Like he's tentative. He gets the ball and he passes
it sometos. Yeah, I mean in certain situations. In this situation,
he was very intimidated. I mean it was a huge
auditorium at Pasadena City College and there was all these
other tournaments going on at the same so it's very loud,
and these this team was bigger than them and better
than them, and it was like forty five to twelve
or something like that blowout, and but it was fine.
I mean, but Sonny makes he makes his baskets. But
it's he needs to. He's got up his game a
little bit. And then we went and watched the football
game yesterday and Adam was sitting there going, what's the score?
Because we went to the tournament yesterday they got lost.
They lost. Then the weekend before the it was the
first football game lost. And every time Adam comes to
Sonny's things, it's like he's bad luck. And he even
said that we were sitting, we have the chairs, we're
sitting down on the back on the football field, and
he's just like he came, he came a little late,
and he sat down. He's like, what's the score? And
I said, like seven zero, and he's like, let me
guess they got seven And I said, yeah, we're watching.
He's like, I'm just I'm bad luck for Sonny. I
don't know what did He's sitting there with his buckslip
writing shit. He's like, I never every time I come,
I never see him like catch or you know, score
a touchdown. And literally, like five seconds later, the the
the quarterback threw it all the way across the yard.
Sonny jumped up and caught it and made it. Yeah,
and he was like except for now, like, oh, but
it's fun. It's so much fun. I love love. And
now Natalia is doing volleyball. That's hard. It's hard. She's small.
She's small, but she's strong and she likes it. She's
aggressive and it's fun. Except it's just the pain because
the first game is this weekend. It's Saturday, and we
have to supposedly get up at five thirty am because
it's on the fine. Oh no, why is she already
have far for a game. I don't know. She's just
joined like mid season because her little friend's on it,
and the coach was like, we could use you. Fine,
let's go, you know, sign her up and sign her up.
She went to practice yesterday. So so it's this Saturday
and it's like somewhere far and it's early and I
have Olga surprise party that night, and then Sonny with
his game. He has a tournament this Saturday too, so
I don't know how what we're doing. Adam is gonna
have to take one, but I can guess which one's
gonna take. I don't know. It's really hard. I don't
I don't know how people do it, you know, I
don't know either. I don't like the Saturdays are just
a terrible day for me.
Speaker 2: Now I have, well, all three of my kids play basketball,
so and all their games are at different times.
Speaker 1: But Sadie and Maddie are going to play on.
Speaker 2: A co ed team with my love coach Kiki, So
they're doing He has a thing called Valley Stars, and
it's like it's a team he does games, but it's
it's like a clinic but also it's like a club team,
except for like it's an intense practice with fundamentals, and
they get to play in games, which I really like
for them, and he's just Kiki's just like an excellent coach,
and the kids get better really fast. But then Elbie's
doing the wreck, so Maddie dropped out of he was
going to sign up for football, and he decided he
didn't want to do it, and I was so happy
and then Sadie didn't want to do the rec team
for basketball, and I was happy about that. But it's
still a lot. They still have all of them have
practice on the same day at the same time in
different places.
Speaker 1: Really, so what do you do?
Speaker 2: So right now? John, Look, the first one was last Wednesday.
John took Elbie, dropped her off and.
Speaker 1: Then went home and then I went with the Sadie
and Mattie and I just hung out there. Yeah, what
what's the difference between the Wreck and the what's the Wreck?
Speaker 2: So the Wreck is like through the park, like it's
the Wreck team. It's like, okay, it's less expensive, but
it's just through the park and then they play all
their games against other kids from the park, right, And
this one is like more of a league, like a
more professional kind of thing where they have they play
against other like club teams against games.
Speaker 1: Right. But the Wreck is fine. I mean, Elbie really
likes it.
Speaker 2: It's just it's very depends your experience is going to
depend on the coach you get. Like some of the
they're all volunteer coaches, and sometimes they're okay.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah.
Speaker 2: The last one we had we really liked, but he
was the one that was really intense and had them
all do two practices a week plus like go watch
films of themselves in their last game. And I think
Lbie enjoys it. But she's not like I'm going to
be a professional basketball.
Speaker 1: Player, right right right, She's like, really, we have to
go like mandatorily watch a film of us playing. Like hmm, yeah, yeah,
that's kind of strange.
Speaker 2: But I love the fact that I told you this
story I think on the Regular Show about how the
one mom was they do these all star teams and
it's very political, and I really liked that coach because
he was so into it. Yeah he was you know,
like I like that. Yeah, I think the kids get
a lot out of it. He was super committed. Ye,
he lives for these kids. He's he's got a couple
kids that play basketball. His kid was like the star
of our team, and he wants them to take it
seriously and he thinks they're going to learn, as you
were saying about Sunny's coach, like if they're going to
step up their game, they're going to have to work
on fundamentals and play as a team and see their
mistakes and like he's very encouragedly like it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love it. I mean, I I just a lot.
It's just a lot, and I'm just I mean, I'm
happy that Natalia's got her volleyball, but I'm not happy
that it's like I got to go to Irvine. Well,
what's the point of ask an hour away? And that's
crazy at seven thirty a m. And I could not
hang with that, especially when it's like not her life.
She's not like, oh my god, I live for volleyball.
I know, I just found it out. I mean yesterday
she's like hockey hours. Yeah, she went for practice yesterday
and I picked her up and I said, and her
little friend had it go and she's like great, She's like,
we have a tournament this weekend. I go, okay, great.
I mean, I'm happy. I like doing it. It's just
I was excited that son. He's got his tournam and
he's got he's on the and he's got that coming up.
You know, I want to focus, and now I'm not
gonna be able to see him play. I got to
go with her to see her thing, which is fine,
but can we convince her to drop out? I'm trying.
Couldn't she like get hurt or something. Maybe you could
she did. That's what happened, and she she hurt her
finger and first practice for flag football and then she stopped,
but then coincided with the volleyball, and then her volleyball
coach was like, okay, well let me know when she
feels better. And it's been like a month now, and uh,
she's like, I'm back, and she does need a sport.
Maybe you could be like, well, let's cook get that
X ray one more time, just to make sure it's healed.
And then you could be like, oh, so still broken.
You can't do it. But the good thing is is
I think the mom is going to drive them. Oh
that's good. I think because her we live close and
she's on the you know, and we're all going to
the siting. You're like, you're already used to it. Yeah,
you gotta get up. I'll pick him up like a helicopter.
For all these say it would be nice, It would
be so cool to be just so rich that you could.
I can't have a helicopter to go everywhere, or at
least an uber like son, you gotta go to practice again. Now,
I gotta get good. But then you still gotta wake
up that early. Yeah, m hmm, I don't know. We're
on spring break.
Speaker 2: I would not be happy if I had to get
up at five point thirty for anything.
Speaker 1: That's right, all right, you're a parent now. Don't have
it up Brown? Oh nothing but nothing seems to find.
Don't find something to find? John, I do? Who so
want to shot me? Like I'm that's make your rapp
and the UF You show me no sign your welcome
to me day. I'm going to John Guy, John f