Speaker 1: A friend of mine asked me yesterday, am I where
Speaker 1: I thought I'd be in my fifties? And that's and
Speaker 1: that's a street question, right. I know. I can say
Speaker 1: that I didn't think about my fifties when I was younger.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you that for a fact. When you're younger,
Speaker 1: I would to say, anybody think about their fifties. I
Speaker 1: remember in my twenties, I don't remember. Let's go back.
Speaker 1: I remember in my teens thinking about being an adult
Speaker 1: hitting eighteen, that that was the first mile marker. Eighteen.
Speaker 1: There was twenty one, cause twenty one is kind of
Speaker 1: the last bastion of any kind of like restrictive stuff, Like, no, okay,
Speaker 1: I can from twenty one. There's more things I can do.
Speaker 1: Right then, they're like, okay, twenty five quarter life. Maybe
Speaker 1: when at twenty one and twenty, like thirty seems so
Speaker 1: far away. That was like thirty, I'm like, oh, that
Speaker 1: was something I was like, that was way in the future. Now,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you forty. When I was say in my
Speaker 1: late twenty twenty thirties, forty was the next big monstar.
Speaker 1: I thought about it. I never thought about anything past forty.
Speaker 1: It just didn't because forty seemed like the marker of like,
Speaker 1: oh my goodness, you turn forty. That's your thing. You're forty,
Speaker 1: You're forty, And I was just like wow, I but
Speaker 1: I never yeah, I never never thought past that. So
Speaker 1: I couldn't tell you if I'm at where I thought
Speaker 1: i'd be even in my forties. I think about fefty
Speaker 1: either that much. I didn't think about it. I wasn't
Speaker 1: like thinking about fifty. I was like, I'm my forties
Speaker 1: and I enjoyed my forties and I was going to
Speaker 1: through stuff and I was building things. I almost feel
Speaker 1: like fifty snuck up on me kind of that makes
Speaker 1: eighty sense. It was just like, oh, I'm now fifty, okay,
Speaker 1: Like like it was like, oh yeah, I'm hitting fifty.
Speaker 1: Oh okay. But I don't think I was thinking about
Speaker 1: any sort of anything past my I don't know my age.
Speaker 1: I guess I don't know. Never thought anything about that.
Speaker 1: Can I hit fifty? I was like, oh, okay, I'm
Speaker 1: you know, I'm fifty. I actually didn't mind training fifty.
Speaker 1: I had some great stuff going on and a lot
Speaker 1: of my I had a lot of change happened in
Speaker 1: my late forties to early fifties, a lot of major
Speaker 1: change happened. That's when I got into this business actually,
Speaker 1: and that's why I decidely pushed my on my businesses
Speaker 1: and Worklee Hartway. It was, it was a whole. It
Speaker 1: was just kind of like, oh, okay, it's so it's
Speaker 1: so different now, the fifties. Now, now I'm here. I
Speaker 1: don't know, I think, And that's a hard question, right,
Speaker 1: you guys at home are you thinking about I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't know if you thought, I think. For me,
Speaker 1: what I didn't think i'd be here yet was the caregiving.
Speaker 1: I didn't know what age it would start. My mother
Speaker 1: is relatively young compared to me, but she is older.
Speaker 1: She's eighteen years older than me. So I thought, well,
Speaker 1: we kind of grew up together, so I figured we
Speaker 1: probably would age together. I didn't realize that at fifty
Speaker 1: four for me, at seventy three seventy two for her,
Speaker 1: it was gonna start. She had an older husband. For
Speaker 1: some reason, we didn't think about, like, well, what if
Speaker 1: he leaves Whenever something happens, I just didn't think about it.
Speaker 1: It was it's so funny. I'm like, I just didn't
Speaker 1: think about it. I know he's gonna live forever. But
Speaker 1: I don't know what we were thinking. I was like,
Speaker 1: I was like, Wenna, can't live forever. But I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just didn't think about him going. And he went,
Speaker 1: and he went so fast a couple of years ago.
Speaker 1: So I was like, wow, this is really this is
Speaker 1: I mean, it's it changed our whole family, and so
Speaker 1: I just didn't expect that. I didn't. It's it's it's
Speaker 1: I've watched various family members and stuff go through stuff
Speaker 1: like this. I just didn't know what to be me.
Speaker 1: It's quick, but it's it's so. My life is great
Speaker 1: in terms of my career. My business is growing extreme
Speaker 1: very well. I made a deal today, as we're talking
Speaker 1: a deal today, like it's good. I wish I was
Speaker 1: father along of course, right of course, long alone and
Speaker 1: hopefully that'll that'll happen. Personal life, I don't care for
Speaker 1: him because my life is just basically taking care of
Speaker 1: my family all the time, and I have no special
Speaker 1: person for myself. I you know, I always and I'm
Speaker 1: also fat. I was hoping. I remember, I remember I
Speaker 1: lost weight the last time. I remember saying to myself, James,
Speaker 1: you do not want to gain that weight back, do
Speaker 1: what you can not to gain it. Back then, a
Speaker 1: pandemic came. That's what's so crazy. This pandemic out of
Speaker 1: nowhere came and that changed everything, and it does. It
Speaker 1: does feel like I literally just woke up and I'm
Speaker 1: fat and I have pre diabetes, and now I have
Speaker 1: all those of going on, and I'm like with that.
Speaker 1: I don't know how I thought I had under control
Speaker 1: and apparently I didn't. And that's and it happens just
Speaker 1: and because it was such a weird time and because
Speaker 1: it's it's a time that we'll never have ever again again,
Speaker 1: I'm assuming like that again, hopefully never again. That for
Speaker 1: a lot of people were all going through that. And
Speaker 1: so I turned fifty in twenty nineteen, and then I
Speaker 1: turned fifty one into twenty twenty. It was during the pandemic,
Speaker 1: and I just remember I couldn't have a party, could
Speaker 1: get together. It was all just that alone. Its social
Speaker 1: aspect of all that alone, which is kind of crazy, right, Well,
Speaker 1: it's crazy. So you have that going on, it kind
Speaker 1: of exkews anybody else who had their early fifties were
Speaker 1: not in a pandemic, you know, it's it's a different story.
Speaker 1: And you see, I have a hard time talk about
Speaker 1: it because I'm like, which is like, how do I talk?
Speaker 1: How do I what do I like? Because it was
Speaker 1: because I'm I'm in places I never thought I would be.
Speaker 1: That's one thing for sure. I love where I live.
Speaker 1: I love the house I live in. I love the
Speaker 1: work that I'm doing. So those two things for sure.
Speaker 1: But in terms of I wish I saw my grandkids more,
Speaker 1: my kids when they just I just stuck with my mom.
Speaker 1: Wish my mother was doing better. I wish I had
Speaker 1: a partner, I will fully admit that I wish I
Speaker 1: had a partner, and I had love in my life,
Speaker 1: like like not I mean I have love, but like
Speaker 1: the I mean like romantic love of my life. So
Speaker 1: those things are not. So my life is I'd say
Speaker 1: half and half. Y'all say half and half. So I
Speaker 1: don't know if I'm where I would have been, could
Speaker 1: have thought about it for them, But where I'm at
Speaker 1: is okay, right, It's okay, it's not it's not bad.
Speaker 1: Uh could be better.