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<v Speaker 1>A friend of mine asked me yesterday, am I where

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<v Speaker 1>I thought I'd be in my fifties? And that's and

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<v Speaker 1>that's a street question, right. I know. I can say

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<v Speaker 1>that I didn't think about my fifties when I was younger.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll tell you that for a fact. When you're younger,

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<v Speaker 1>I would to say, anybody think about their fifties. I

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<v Speaker 1>remember in my twenties, I don't remember. Let's go back.

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<v Speaker 1>I remember in my teens thinking about being an adult

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<v Speaker 1>hitting eighteen, that that was the first mile marker. Eighteen.

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<v Speaker 1>There was twenty one, cause twenty one is kind of

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<v Speaker 1>the last bastion of any kind of like restrictive stuff, Like, no, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I can from twenty one. There's more things I can do.

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<v Speaker 1>Right then, they're like, okay, twenty five quarter life. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>when at twenty one and twenty, like thirty seems so

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<v Speaker 1>far away. That was like thirty, I'm like, oh, that

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<v Speaker 1>was something I was like, that was way in the future. Now,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll tell you forty. When I was say in my

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<v Speaker 1>late twenty twenty thirties, forty was the next big monstar.

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<v Speaker 1>I thought about it. I never thought about anything past forty.

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<v Speaker 1>It just didn't because forty seemed like the marker of like,

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<v Speaker 1>oh my goodness, you turn forty. That's your thing. You're forty,

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<v Speaker 1>You're forty, And I was just like wow, I but

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<v Speaker 1>I never yeah, I never never thought past that. So

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<v Speaker 1>I couldn't tell you if I'm at where I thought

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<v Speaker 1>i'd be even in my forties. I think about fefty

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<v Speaker 1>either that much. I didn't think about it. I wasn't

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<v Speaker 1>like thinking about fifty. I was like, I'm my forties

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<v Speaker 1>and I enjoyed my forties and I was going to

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<v Speaker 1>through stuff and I was building things. I almost feel

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<v Speaker 1>like fifty snuck up on me kind of that makes

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<v Speaker 1>eighty sense. It was just like, oh, I'm now fifty, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>Like like it was like, oh yeah, I'm hitting fifty.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh okay. But I don't think I was thinking about

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<v Speaker 1>any sort of anything past my I don't know my age.

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<v Speaker 1>I guess I don't know. Never thought anything about that.

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<v Speaker 1>Can I hit fifty? I was like, oh, okay, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>you know, I'm fifty. I actually didn't mind training fifty.

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<v Speaker 1>I had some great stuff going on and a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of my I had a lot of change happened in

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<v Speaker 1>my late forties to early fifties, a lot of major

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<v Speaker 1>change happened. That's when I got into this business actually,

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<v Speaker 1>and that's why I decidely pushed my on my businesses

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<v Speaker 1>and Worklee Hartway. It was, it was a whole. It

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<v Speaker 1>was just kind of like, oh, okay, it's so it's

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<v Speaker 1>so different now, the fifties. Now, now I'm here. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know, I think, And that's a hard question, right,

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<v Speaker 1>you guys at home are you thinking about I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if you thought, I think. For me,

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<v Speaker 1>what I didn't think i'd be here yet was the caregiving.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't know what age it would start. My mother

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<v Speaker 1>is relatively young compared to me, but she is older.

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<v Speaker 1>She's eighteen years older than me. So I thought, well,

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<v Speaker 1>we kind of grew up together, so I figured we

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<v Speaker 1>probably would age together. I didn't realize that at fifty

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<v Speaker 1>four for me, at seventy three seventy two for her,

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<v Speaker 1>it was gonna start. She had an older husband. For

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<v Speaker 1>some reason, we didn't think about, like, well, what if

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<v Speaker 1>he leaves Whenever something happens, I just didn't think about it.

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<v Speaker 1>It was it's so funny. I'm like, I just didn't

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<v Speaker 1>think about it. I know he's gonna live forever. But

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know what we were thinking. I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, Wenna, can't live forever. But I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>I just didn't think about him going. And he went,

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<v Speaker 1>and he went so fast a couple of years ago.

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<v Speaker 1>So I was like, wow, this is really this is

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, it's it changed our whole family, and so

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<v Speaker 1>I just didn't expect that. I didn't. It's it's it's

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<v Speaker 1>I've watched various family members and stuff go through stuff

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<v Speaker 1>like this. I just didn't know what to be me.

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<v Speaker 1>It's quick, but it's it's so. My life is great

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<v Speaker 1>in terms of my career. My business is growing extreme

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<v Speaker 1>very well. I made a deal today, as we're talking

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<v Speaker 1>a deal today, like it's good. I wish I was

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<v Speaker 1>father along of course, right of course, long alone and

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<v Speaker 1>hopefully that'll that'll happen. Personal life, I don't care for

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<v Speaker 1>him because my life is just basically taking care of

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<v Speaker 1>my family all the time, and I have no special

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<v Speaker 1>person for myself. I you know, I always and I'm

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<v Speaker 1>also fat. I was hoping. I remember, I remember I

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<v Speaker 1>lost weight the last time. I remember saying to myself, James,

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<v Speaker 1>you do not want to gain that weight back, do

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<v Speaker 1>what you can not to gain it. Back then, a

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<v Speaker 1>pandemic came. That's what's so crazy. This pandemic out of

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<v Speaker 1>nowhere came and that changed everything, and it does. It

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<v Speaker 1>does feel like I literally just woke up and I'm

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<v Speaker 1>fat and I have pre diabetes, and now I have

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<v Speaker 1>all those of going on, and I'm like with that.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know how I thought I had under control

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<v Speaker 1>and apparently I didn't. And that's and it happens just

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<v Speaker 1>and because it was such a weird time and because

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<v Speaker 1>it's it's a time that we'll never have ever again again,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm assuming like that again, hopefully never again. That for

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of people were all going through that. And

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<v Speaker 1>so I turned fifty in twenty nineteen, and then I

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<v Speaker 1>turned fifty one into twenty twenty. It was during the pandemic,

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<v Speaker 1>and I just remember I couldn't have a party, could

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<v Speaker 1>get together. It was all just that alone. Its social

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<v Speaker 1>aspect of all that alone, which is kind of crazy, right, Well,

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<v Speaker 1>it's crazy. So you have that going on, it kind

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<v Speaker 1>of exkews anybody else who had their early fifties were

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<v Speaker 1>not in a pandemic, you know, it's it's a different story.

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<v Speaker 1>And you see, I have a hard time talk about

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<v Speaker 1>it because I'm like, which is like, how do I talk?

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<v Speaker 1>How do I what do I like? Because it was

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<v Speaker 1>because I'm I'm in places I never thought I would be.

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<v Speaker 1>That's one thing for sure. I love where I live.

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<v Speaker 1>I love the house I live in. I love the

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<v Speaker 1>work that I'm doing. So those two things for sure.

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<v Speaker 1>But in terms of I wish I saw my grandkids more,

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<v Speaker 1>my kids when they just I just stuck with my mom.

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<v Speaker 1>Wish my mother was doing better. I wish I had

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<v Speaker 1>a partner, I will fully admit that I wish I

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<v Speaker 1>had a partner, and I had love in my life,

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<v Speaker 1>like like not I mean I have love, but like

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<v Speaker 1>the I mean like romantic love of my life. So

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<v Speaker 1>those things are not. So my life is I'd say

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<v Speaker 1>half and half. Y'all say half and half. So I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know if I'm where I would have been, could

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<v Speaker 1>have thought about it for them, But where I'm at

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<v Speaker 1>is okay, right, It's okay, it's not it's not bad.

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<v Speaker 1>Uh could be better.