Speaker 1: Ben is called up just to be spoken to about
the meal, and this man says, we're doing Italian tonight, right.
He goes, yeah, We're doing Italian. He goes, okay, what
have you got? Uh? We gotta we got a spring roll.
He goes, okay.
Speaker 2: Wow, He goes, I guess that's from the old country.
Speaker 1: It's from Sicily. It's his Sicilian old country. Dish a
spring roll. Hello, and welcome aboard another Brands Bank new
episode of bad TV. Was that too loud? Am I yelling?
Am I yelling? It does sound like I'm yelling right now.
Wo Well, I'm just really excited to talk about this episode.
I'm excited to be here with Pat permission to come
aboard and Kaylin episode out with Jenna Woodbird's She was
so funny. It was such a joy to talk to her.
Also interesting for Bravo to give us Jenna before we
see her and no judgment, but we would just like that.
Speaker 2: So that's our bad I had that screener sitting in
my laptop loaded ready to watch, and it's the one
the one time I wish I'd watched the screen.
Speaker 1: Well, anyway, check out the interview. We are Mariah Carey
and so are you get into the comments? Yea. Also
go to patrona conversation on the podcast network because for
there over there, behind there is you know what, I
don't even like to refer to it as a paywall.
I like to refer to it as a pay home. Okay,
when you're.
Speaker 3: There, your home, your home.
Speaker 1: It's like Papa John's I think or something. Who's that slogan?
When you're here your home, Applebee's let us know go there,
Chili's Triple dip a Patreon our com slash another podcast network.
We have Summerhouse there, we have Rhode Island there. We
have a bang in PMZ coming up, and an aps
that I am so excited for. I'm in conversations with
Garbage Tits and I think I think it's you know,
I think it's gonna happen. What what's up?
Speaker 4: You're here, your family, that's Alive Garden.
Speaker 1: It's Olive Garden. Okay, all right, so listen. We had
an episode transpire tonight. You know is Walt wall. This
season of Below Deck right, Ben is winging it and
failing fifty percent of the time because of it. Mikey
is one of the most annoying men I've ever seen
on TV.
Speaker 2: I think it's about time for him to go.
Speaker 1: I think we should put him in a cannon and
just light the fuse. Not a not a lethal one.
I'm talking about like a circus one. Yeah, you know
how they fly out of those their water.
Speaker 3: He'll be fine, He'll be fine.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it'd be fine. I mean, but hit the impact,
you know, Yeah, shove him in one of those. But yeah,
what'd you think? How many clams would you give it?
Speaker 3: Well, I'm gonna say this.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna start with an apology to Daisy for what
she endured this episode, just alone with that goddamn cake.
Speaker 1: Daisy's kicking ass.
Speaker 2: I had held on to a lot of stuff from
past seasons. I've mentioned this before, yep, and I realized
it's my issue. I need to move on total pass.
Speaker 1: I do you know what I want to? Can I
piggyback off of her? Can you look up? Who's don
keyxodes guy? Right? Him? Man? Who does go on the
who does he go on the journey with? Well, it's
the idiot, Yeah, He's like yeah, right, well yeah, Poncho Santocho, Sancho.
I'm gonna piggyback on your h But can I start
the piggyback? Yes, Daisy has, As we mentioned, we went
into this season very trepidacious because we had three seasons
of her with Colin if that was his name, and Gary.
Speaker 2: And cigarettes and cigarettes and more cigarette.
Speaker 1: The cigarettes are still very much here. Okay. I have
to say Daisy has just been pretty much awesome this season.
All of the monopolizing labor that I thought she was
going to be doing, she still does, but not too
She's just she's great. And I saw a social media
clip of her recently where she was on her podcast,
which is a sworn enemy of our podcast, So over
there and don't listen to it when you go over there.
I'm kidding. But she was a commenter and said, I
find you incredibly annoying. And she said, I don't blame
you at all. I've been awful on TV. So maybe
Daisies turned a corner and she you know, she really
is lovely this season. I give her one hundred pots.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I give her this episode twelve pots.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 2: I want to say I do enjoy the one day charters. Now,
I did not enjoy the extended episode.
Speaker 3: There was no need to.
Speaker 1: Tack on twenty more minutes by fifty five minutes of
this show. Nobody needs that.
Speaker 2: No, so I'm going to deduct.
Speaker 1: You're just talking about beef doing thirty three minute episodes below,
next doing fifty five minute episodes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're gonna we're gonna tack down a couple knots
on my score for this so, uh, that's gonna bring
it all in all things minus plus.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna take you give it fourteen knots.
Speaker 1: Hey, Caylen, how many nuts do you get?
Speaker 4: I'm gonna give it one hundred knots? All right, Okay,
it's a great episode. She means, you're gonna have a
great podcast.
Speaker 3: Very positive. I can kick us off.
Speaker 1: Heredugh, No, it's just Kitlyn just makes me so angry sometimes. No, no, no,
so angry. I've never gotten angrier at a person that
I get with. Kaylen really grinds my gears. All right,
So Ben's listening fifteen minutes of Kissy and then we
should do a better job. Jenna goes into Ben's room
at five o'clock in the morning. This was something that
we asked her about, but they seem to be smoochy.
Smoochy and then he asks her, how's the eddy thing going.
I'm here to listen. Either not well or irrelevant. Don't
worry about it. What are you doing asking her about it?
Speaker 3: Very round questions.
Speaker 1: Obviously it's not going great. She's making out with.
Speaker 3: You boys, he rusty.
Speaker 1: What the fuck? All right? We rise for the next
day in the boat.
Speaker 3: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Uh that's not how that morning ends.
Speaker 1: God, that was horrible.
Speaker 5: Yeah, maybe it's that pillow talk that really got her,
got her turned on.
Speaker 2: Regardless, she walks out of that cabin in Sanche's Sache's
right down to Eddie's cabin and then rolls right into
his arms. Now no judgment here, Patty, uh says, you
be you girlfriend, you do you? What's yours, take, what's yours?
Speaker 3: Whatever.
Speaker 2: My only issue is, uh, you right there just went
from a six to a four, and that does not
equal ten.
Speaker 1: What do you mean six to a four?
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: I'm scoring the the grades of the men that she's
choosing to be.
Speaker 1: No, everyone's at ten.
Speaker 2: Well, hey, if she called into my cabin, that would
be a zero. She'd literally be add nothing to that sport.
Speaker 3: So I'm I'm very aware of where I stand here.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm just saying she.
Speaker 1: Came into my it would be the bed would be
covered in drool. You couldn't even leave. We're disgusting, we
were underslept. We have children. I mean, I'm happy for
Eddie and Ben and Jenna. The sea rats are just
sea rotting.
Speaker 3: So and I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2: Those are both two handsome guys, handsome devils.
Speaker 1: Is that too loud? No? Okay, So we rise for
the next day and the boat is in absolute disarray.
Jason wakes up. He says, we've got a tight tan
around the fucking bite. Looks like fucking shit. He says,
I thought two days of binge drinking would make these
these people work harder, but it turns out they've regressed right.
Speaker 2: By the way he walks around, knocks on every cabin door,
and then after the knock opens the door, which I'd
argue opening the door post knock nagates the need for
the knock.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just open it, kick it open, in fact.
Speaker 3: But quite intrusive. Okay, it's a girl's cabin. You're just
gonna open the door.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Yeah, that's a big no. No.
Speaker 3: Captain Jason I don't care how hot you.
Speaker 1: Oh he was pissed off, but it looks like sheep.
Speaker 3: It's best to wake up at seven.
Speaker 1: Specially wake up seven am. Bite looks like shit. Captain
Jason gets the Sea Rats together and says, last charter,
we put soap on people's food. We need to pick
it the fuck up.
Speaker 3: Well yeah, okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: He gets a searette down. He tells him why they're
all failures. Yeah, and I think it rise to a
bigger point. It's why they're Sea rats.
Speaker 3: They're unemployable.
Speaker 2: By the way, here's the other thing. I don't think
Toyota lets you get naked for one thousand dollars. Yeah,
Like if you work at Toyota or McDonald's, no, no.
A customer walks in and said McDonald's like, i'll take
a happy meal in the first employee to jump over
the counter and get naked, I'll give a thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: Yeah. No, it's it's amazing. You know. You would think
that in car sales there would be less fat, Hispanic
and Armenian guys. You think there would be like beautiful women,
but it's just guys named Chewie and I go, yeah, yeah,
kind of crazy. So anyways, you know what I'm.
Speaker 2: Saying, though, yes, absolutely, I will say this though I
live around the corner. We're in Studio city here, good
looking people live here at our local McDonald's.
Speaker 1: There's some lookers there that one mm, you're kidding, No,
they're not. Okay, these these sea postured people with a
bad attitude. I gotta say. I get it. You're working
for no money and robots are about to take it.
But I mean, I'm happy. I'm about to get two cheeseburgers.
You're bumming me out, Okay, crazy, all right? Captain Jason
gets the Sea rats together, he says, she said, mean stuff.
It's just I was going back to I'm not going
to describe why your failures. It's even worse your your secrets. Okay,
all right, So he tells then to pick at the
funk up and then we hit the work. Mikey's having
a granola bar and Jenna isn't sure what to do
about Eddie. We'll figure that out in a minute. And
we got to give Jenna some credit because Joao take notes. Okay,
this is how you do it. But first let's get
to it. It's time for a bread friendship meaning no,
we got a couple of desert rats heading out to
Cassanova or wherever they're stationed. We get a family tree
breakdown of baseball diamondback people who gives a ship? But
I do love this matriarch.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, yeah, it's uh, I love Joanna.
Speaker 3: She seemed like, yeah, some mom and uh there's.
Speaker 2: A daughter who clearly well I don't think she hides
the eight ball. I think she hates her mother.
Speaker 1: Really, m why do you say that?
Speaker 2: Well, she was Uh, she's kind of saying, yeah, MoMA,
mama's thoughts on things, you know, be vacation together.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 4: She died.
Speaker 3: You know you didn't hear say that.
Speaker 1: It's so sad. I think a lot of people really
do breathe that out, and and who could blame them?
You know?
Speaker 3: Yeah, but what's great?
Speaker 1: Wipe one adult's ass and you're like, all right, we
don't need to do that.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, mom, dad, don't worry about it. I'll never
put you an assisted living. You're gonna stay here with
us and help with the grandkids. The second they start
pooping on your floor when you're at home at work. Okay,
you guys are out of here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is Joanna Ramirez. She's going to be taking
care of you.
Speaker 3: By the way.
Speaker 2: I love Joanna, especially this episo so because she has
been designed to haunt Ben.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and this is this is Ben's worst enemy, right.
This is a woman who is Italian who is making
lemon and anchovy pasta at night. That is a humble, delicious,
clean pasta. That's not you know, if we were to
see someone you know, whipping up a gravy and stuff
like that. Not to say that they wouldn't come after Ben,
but this is like an elevated, humble dinner that they're making.
She knows food very very well.
Speaker 2: I will say this though, I can't wait till we
get to dinner because of all the things to really say,
what you want for your entree, that being pasta on
a vacation where you're about to tip twenty eight grand,
you want to fill your gullet with fucking flour, wheat
or whatever.
Speaker 3: Pasta a pasta dish?
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's wrong with pasta pasta?
Speaker 2: Some mediocre steakhouse like have something more elevated.
Speaker 1: I so disagree with you. Pasta can be very elevated,
and you see it on display in Los Angeles. One
of the great rackets of the LA dining scene is
Evan Funky and his properties, where he's charging people sixty
dollars for three pieces of orchetti and kalein sausage and
people are just hoovering it up like like like dumb
wealthy people. But pasta can be But yeah, I'm fair enough, Yeah,
fair enough, Caylin, how do you feel about pasta?
Speaker 3: I pasta?
Speaker 1: You know what I learned? Can I can I mention
your weakness? Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 1: You know I was talking to kaelin last last week.
I go, you know, we're talking about getting a little way,
trying to get it off and stuff like that. I
go the way, Can I finish? Please?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Go ahead, I go. What's your what's your weakness? He
was chicken? I go, what kind of chicken? Use fried chicken?
I go, your chicken tenders? Or are you getting no? No,
no chicken on the boat. This guy is buckets and chicken.
He's eating buckets of chicken.
Speaker 5: Don't get him started on that home friar that he got.
He'll Oh my god, Kaylin, what were you gonna say?
Speaker 1: Yeah? What are we gonna say?
Speaker 4: Me? And Pat were working together today and a client
said to me, oh, you look like the big lumberjack type.
Speaker 3: I have gained quite a bit of weight.
Speaker 1: That's the first time anyone has described as that.
Speaker 3: Yes, she called you fat.
Speaker 1: I think you look I think you look beautiful. Kayle.
All right, So anyways, grab a bucket of chicken and
get ready for the rest of this podcast recap. So
we get to Ben who is gigly, and we sit
down with Mikey and Alicia. Daisy gets the two tweedledd
and tweedled Dummer in front of her and she goes,
you guys have got to fucking cut this ship out, Okay.
Speaker 3: Get rid of the ego. And this is Mikey. Ah,
can we get some specifics on that. That's a very
mighty question.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and he also Alicia and him are both
so fucking hopeless. They leave this meeting and Mikey goes,
you know, I mean, this is the position that this
person has put me in. I can't believe that I'm
being spoken to like this. This is you guys have
been You are like brother and sister, but you're in
a wark environment. It's crazy. The two are either going
to get fired or kill each other. Now, Daisy and
Ben have a little chat and Daisy asks Ben a
very very reasonable question, And in this kind of duel
between Daisy and Ben, I am one thousand percent on
Daisy's side the entire way through. She goes, Hey, do
you wanna you can do me a little favor here?
Just hear me out. Can you plan literally anything? Just
I'm not saying you don't have to write on atirement.
Can you just have some fucking sembline of an idea
of what you're going to do before four o'clock in
the afternoon. It gaus, babe bebe, babe babe.
Speaker 3: Is taking the fun out of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, babe bebe Listen, when you're trying to limit me,
the food's gonna turn out way worse. So we're not
going to do that, all right, thanks to the check.
Speaker 2: This is what's interesting about Bed and why I'm completely
behind Daisy on this. Had you been scoring a bunch
of a pluses on you just doing it your way
by flying by the seat of your own pants, yeah.
Speaker 3: Have about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: The fact that you've been an absolute complete fuck up
and you're batting like a hundred and that's not a
good score. I'm saying one hundred out of a thousand.
Speaker 1: No, I know, I think it. I think it might
even I'll give him one twelve.
Speaker 3: Right, yeah, so I would.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 2: I think I hope he learned his lesson from this dinner,
although I don't think he.
Speaker 1: No, haven't.
Speaker 2: By the way, there's another thing here, and I thought
this was kind of dv of Ben. When he's talking
to the balk and Biscuit in the morning, he's showing
that he's a very supportive friend and kind of joking
about her, like.
Speaker 3: Get over Juau, get over Jaau.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and she's like yeah, and then you know, and
I gave him that cake and I said, you just
you know, you just eat this and I'm over you.
Speaker 3: You eat this and I'll massage you later if you
want to do something like that. He's like, yeah, he's
like that cake. Yeah, I guess he ate it or something.
Speaker 2: He's like like, well, he didn't say that I ate it.
Ben ate the goddamn cake and had a good chuckle
about it. Right, he keeps that close to the best.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he's trying to groom her
and he has she's like his Harley Quinn at this point.
Speaker 2: And also and he'll kill for him another little meanwhile
here Eddie leaves a little note near Jenna's workspace for
a cup of coffee.
Speaker 1: And uh, this is this is what made this act
of kindness, is what makes Jenna go all right, you
know what, it's disgusting that we got to talk. She
sits him down. And this is where I say, Juau
take notes, because what Jenna does here is she leaves.
And this is what's important for c Res. You have
to leave open the opportunity to crack off when you
have to make it known that beyond cracking there's going
to be absolutely nothing. And she does this marvelously here.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think you touched on this.
Speaker 2: Jua could take a few notes from Jenna, but to
be fair to him, he was scared he might die.
Speaker 1: That's a really good point. When you look at Eddie,
you see a sweet guy who doesn't have who needs
to work on his game. When you see Ellie, you
see a beautiful Eastern European woman who could spiral into
a rage the likes of which you cannot contend with
and could culminate in your life being over. So that's
a good points too. Different.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, okay, so we runs tells Mikey, and why
is anybody at this point telling Mikey anything.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't talk to Mikey ever. I would say one syllable.
Speaker 3: I'd say good morning and good night.
Speaker 1: I would say get the fuck away from me after
good morning. But and sorry, I got so triggered and
upset there for a moment, because next week we have
Mikey saying that he's winding Jenna up because of what
she did to Mikey. Shut the fuck up. God, all right.
Eddie is really busted up about this though. He's telling
Mikey about it, and he's really really sad. And then
we cut to Jenna, who is eating a sandwich so
ferociously that things are falling out of her mouth. Okay,
she's doing fun. So the guests arrive and uh, lots
happened big. Meanwhile, I don't know what what do you
have next? Well, I have chocolate cake conversation.
Speaker 2: Well, Eddie walks around like a mister poopy pants, and
in the galley, the Balka Biscuit notices there's a little
hop and Ben's step there. And then in the galley
we have one of those bizarre hills to die on.
And that's when Daisy says the primary wants of adela cake.
Ben says, tough shit, it's chocolate.
Speaker 3: I already made it.
Speaker 2: Daisy says, well, let me tell her. Then Ben says, nope,
I'll tell her when I bring it out that that night.
She says, well, that's when the loyal Galley assistant chimes,
and she said, that's right.
Speaker 3: I agree with Ben.
Speaker 2: Ben the notes chocolate wasn't listed as something they didn't
like on the preference sheet, and that's that's some pretty
high wire logic there, Ben. They also didn't list tuna fish,
so you could, I guess, technically make it tuna fish
birthday cake.
Speaker 1: Make the cake tunafish, Okay, that's what we're saying is
just make it tuna fish. I want to amend what
your your recap of that whole thing, because I'm not sure,
and if I'm wrong, please let me know. I'm not
sure that Daisy mentions vanilla or chocolate.
Speaker 2: She does, She does very specifically said she wanted vanilla.
Speaker 3: He said I made chocolate.
Speaker 1: Tough shit, okay, because he he says, I made chocolate,
and then he goes back over to the preference sheet,
and he sees that they've specifically requested the opposite flavor. Now,
when we're talking about vanilla, doesn't really have an opposite.
But but if we're saying the furthest thing away from
vanilla that you could do, it would be chocolate. So
he's decided to go full one eighty and then looks
at the preference sheet and goes, oh, damn, you know,
Daisy's really freaking me. Well, I don't know the next
it's her that's freaky. It's your insanity. But yeah, Ben's
great TV. So he says, the Daisy.
Speaker 3: Nightmares about a dish, so bubbling or something. It's something
things are haunted.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she didn't say that she hated dish, So why
don't you make the cake out of dish? So he
says at one point the Daisy, he goes, Daisy thinks
that she's one of these people that think chefs are
super human. No, I don't think she thinks that. I
think she thinks you're drunk, and I don't think she
thinks you're ready. She definitely does it nothing heroic.
Speaker 3: I was trying to think of the chefs that she's
had on.
Speaker 2: Sailing and I cannot remember any of them, but it
was nice to get a look.
Speaker 3: Back on Kate and Ben in there.
Speaker 1: It was so lovely to flash back to Kate and Ben,
who are really good friends now, but good god, were
they ferocious towards one another. Now we get ready for dinner,
we do not have lunch at all. We just go
straight to this leopard night. I love a leopard night.
That's a great thing. And we've got a little feud
right before dinner. So Ben is called up just to
be spoken to about the meal, and this man says,
we're doing Italian tonight, right. He goes, yeah, we're doing Italian.
He goes, okay, what have you got? Uh? We gotta
we got a spring roll? He goes, okay, wow, I
guess that's from the old country. It's from Sicily, it's
his Sicilian old country dish a spring roll?
Speaker 3: What's next?
Speaker 1: A lobster spring roll? And then we get to the
Umbrian classic wahoo. The guy goes, what the fuck is
that you're talking about? Like a comic book or something.
What are you saying wahoo for? But anyways, they go,
we're gonna need a pasta on this because so far
you've said, spring roll, and wahoo, that's not Italian, so
we have to course the meal out differently. Ben's got
a head downstairs. Make a fresh pasta, they tell him, literally,
make a lemon and anchovy pasta. Just you know, it's
our recipe. Go cook it and the food comes out.
The fish is dressed down in a You you think
I'm harsh when I talk about food. These people said,
this is what they feed prisoners. Yeah, this tastes like fish.
This tastes like prison fish.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And half the food there is made out of commissary,
which is vendor food, like a vendor machine food and
toilet water.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yike. So I took that as a slight. Definitely.
Speaker 1: Oh for sure. They make soup and toilets in prison
is a big slight. So up comes the pasta and yeah,
well they like the spring roll, they hate the fish.
The pasta is well cooked. He butchers the first batch
and then makes an aldent.
Speaker 3: Can I say something about fish? Yeah, I like sushi.
Speaker 2: I do not like any heated fish like this. You
could not have me enjoy any of this.
Speaker 1: I bet I bet you you're I could take I
could take you to get a yellowtail collar with a
little pondzo on the side. You'd flip out. It's one
of the most delicious things you can eat.
Speaker 3: My mind is open.
Speaker 2: However, right now, I bet these guests are the type
that they if they're not into that type of thing,
they would fucking hate this.
Speaker 1: I was just thinking about Kaylin eating a bucket of chicken.
Speaker 2: So funny to me, okay, but I think just at
the idea of him serving fish really was a turn off.
Speaker 1: No, yeah, it didn't go well. It needed to be
more woke, you know, cooked properly. But anyways, the dinner
is going off without a hitch hat.
Speaker 3: It's like forty minutes between courses, dyl.
Speaker 1: It No, I mean it's fifty four pot dinner. And
we haven't even talked about the cake, which looks like
a Chernobyl kind of accident. It is a sphinx. It
looks like it was sprayed in some kind of riot
control solution.
Speaker 3: It was disgusting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's disgusting.
Speaker 3: What it was never explained to me, the how the
sphinx fit in with the theme.
Speaker 1: I think that's one of those things that hits the
editing room floor, and you know, to the producers of
the show. I completely get where you're coming from. No
one's paying attention, it doesn't matter. But it's such a
confusing thing to present an orange Sherbet sphinx to a
bunch of Italians at a Leopard party. We have no
clue what's going on there.
Speaker 3: Used to be this show. I think my wife and
I loved it. It was like on TLC. It was
like called how Cheap can You Be?
Speaker 2: It would be people showing how cheap they could be.
It'd be people like using like the last like milla
PLoP of toothpaste, like squeezing it out. Or sometimes they'd
be like, Oh, my friend Vanessa, it's her birthday today
and she wants a cowboy theme, So I'm gonna go
to a cake shop and ask if they have anything
they're ready to throw out.
Speaker 3: They're like, oh, hey.
Speaker 1: Will you a baseball field?
Speaker 3: Yeah? And I think I can decorate this to make
it look like a Western.
Speaker 1: That's so funny.
Speaker 3: That's what he did here.
Speaker 1: I gotta tell you, those people sound cheap, but there
are some people down the street that are give them
a run for their money.
Speaker 2: Okay, by the way, there was one guy, you know
how they have two ply toilet paper. He and his
wife would pull the two ply apart and then re
roll it so that they'd have two rolls instead of well.
Speaker 1: They didn't do it for that. They re rolled it
so that their finger would puncture through the toilet paper.
They'd get shit on their finger because they liked doing that.
That's one of the most disgusting things that were one
ply toilet paper. You'll puncture it, you'll have shit on
your hand. Eh, Maybe you're right, all right, So yeah,
dinner goes off without a hedge. Fifty four pots and
Mikey strips and Eddie and Eddie. But Mikey is the
one that looks to camera and without any irony, says
I feel at home. Okay, Yeah, he's a stripper. He's
a male stripper. That's where he should be.
Speaker 3: That probably is where he should be.
Speaker 1: All right, let's guess that next day. Next morning, Ben
and Ellie want to take a break when Daisy comes
in and suggests, you might want to make cookies if
you have time. Now, people, I don't know if you
know eleven Madison Park, Yeah, the French laundry if you're
if it's a special occasion. The teams at these quote
unquote five star service places. They'll look at your Instagram
and they'll see you're a Dodger fan. They'll put a
fucking Dodger logo on something. Daisy literally hears them say
we should have I wish we had cookies, and goes
and relays it, and Ben goes, what the fuck is
your fucking problem? He legitimately says, the guests.
Speaker 3: Are my enemies.
Speaker 1: Okay, so this five star thing, we've got to just
stop with this, okay, because it's either a competent chef
who hates the guests or it's a guy who's making
fish stew every single night and loves them.
Speaker 2: Okay, we openly admit. Look, we're not a five star cruise.
We're two stars and we're proud of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and if you have any questions, that's Mikey. Just
look at him. How could you get fu?
Speaker 3: Which he's the guy that looks like he works at
best Buy.
Speaker 1: Well they all do, that's a good point, but he
really looks like it. All right, No shade it best Buy?
Although you never have anything, And I don't know what
the point of view is.
Speaker 2: And I can't find track one of you motherfuckers down
to answer a question.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're all running from him.
Speaker 1: Why is best by selling more ninja blenders and ice
cream machines than they are chords for anything? I cannot
stand that place. I do have a credit card with them.
Speaker 2: Now this is where Ben decides to make the cookies. Anyway, However,
he shoes Daisy away. He waffs herway.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 2: I was famously shoed away by Paul Stanley of Kiss
when I brought his frappucino from Starbucks late and he
asked me why it was late, and I said, and
I said, I don't have air conditioning in my car,
and rather than finish it off, he did the little
finger wave like that, and I was like, I will
hate you until the day I die, and I will
share this story fourteen thousand more times on my podcast.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that has brought up the Paul Stanley podcasts. What
do you I want you to genuinely try to find
a number for fourteen I think it's more than that
you do.
Speaker 3: We have so many new listeners.
Speaker 2: I'm not I you can tell it as many times,
but how many times have I been able to bring
it up in the context of someone being watched?
Speaker 1: Every time? Oh well, no, sorry, I was trying to guess,
and you I would say it's about thirty eight times,
and I would say to star child, fuck you okay,
and also to Pat, I need you to move on.
Speaker 3: I hold a grudge.
Speaker 2: God, I'm gonna tell him to his face someday.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine he's on like a Magnolia kind of deathbed.
Speaker 3: You just go up, Oh, like Tom Cruise with his dad.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you just show him dog can carry out.
Speaker 2: This dog comes near me, I'll kick him in the
fucking face.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 1: So it was a day charter. The Chateaubriand is beautifully cooked,
and they love the cookies. So this saves Ben from
I think getting a one star with food.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they could have sometimes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and Jason didn't get into this boat. Under the
comment for for food, they were like, you know, cake
looked like a nuclear holocaust and uh, one star. So
we pitch a head of department dinner, okay, jul Ben
and days you're gonna go out and Ben I love
this move. Tells Mikey you're the head of a department,
you're the head of the interior exterior combo, so I
think you should invite yourself and Mikey being the dumbass
that he is. I don't know if he's playing along
with the joker naut, but it's like, I think that's
a great idea. You're a hundred, right. I am the
head of the department. So we get to the tip meeting.
Ben is late not a great look sleeping. Sleeping, and
the reason why you don't want to be late to
a tip meeting is one you don't want to be late, period.
But Ben is one of the reasons why the trip
was a little hindered. So the majority of the meeting
is just shitting on the food, and it's about shitting
on Ben. But it is a big tip, Pat, What
do we have? All right?
Speaker 2: So these tips no longer make any sense. There's no
rhyme or reason for this. No, it's a one day
charter for twenty eight thousand dollars. We have had a
four day charter for twenty two thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: I think these people are really nice people, and I
think they're great tippers. They seemed really sweet.
Speaker 3: But isn't the tip supposed to reflect the experience?
Speaker 1: No? I mean, I listen, there are these people out there,
like people like I mean i'll tip if you do
a great job, I'll do twenty two to twenty five.
I mean, if you do a bad job, I'll do
twenty percent. Well, you know what, and it's weakness I
should be I should you know? We were a joey
the other day that bracket right, and they do the
guys got the tip in front of you.
Speaker 3: He's shit the machine thing the machine, and we're.
Speaker 1: Both looking at how much I'm gonna tip him. I
was a coward. I tipped twenty percent. I didn't like that.
It took way too long, it was too expensive. I
shouldn't have tip twenty percent in my life. I'm a coward.
Speaker 2: Well, now it's time to pitch my PMZ. Okay, one
of my segments is going to be me confronting a
basically something I've been consuming and they fucked me over
and I finally got the balls because I never do this.
You're the one that will do this. If you get like,
you know something, I'll send food back in a hard Yeah,
you'll stay on hold for two hours to choose someone out. Yeah,
not Patty, right, but this time I did get over
to PMC.
Speaker 3: Also, I have right right and also.
Speaker 2: Right my crack team from the Philippines. Yahoo, Tony and
Tony and little Tony his subordinates. They have gotten me
footage that got cut from the new Michael film. You know,
they left out any stuff about him being a child molester.
Speaker 3: Why do you put that in?
Speaker 2: He's dead and you know his family doesn't want to
make him look like a child molester, so they cut
it all out.
Speaker 3: And I have a piece of that film that I'm
going to air on PMC.
Speaker 1: And Tony Tony who Yahoo.
Speaker 3: I don't know how they got it. I don't ask questions.
Speaker 1: Okay, sorry, I derailized so much. But that was that
was nuts too, though, Okay, fucking buckets of chicken. Okay,
we're wrapping up here. Mikey says this tip was because
of me. I will say it for the Paul Stanley stories.
Amount of times, God, are you fucking annoying?
Speaker 2: And the person that said you were awesome? When I
get to talk to that person again, I have lots
of questions.
Speaker 1: All right, So Ben is pissed, and listen, we should
lay off Mikey a little bit. I think he knows
he's providing us with a good amount of entertainment. But
I think you know.
Speaker 3: I'm over the stick. I need him gone over the stick.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's Mikey right now. Is like the dog that
was tied to the bumper of National Lampoon's Vacation. It
can only run for so long until it's you remember that.
Oh yeah. One of the cutest things about Pat and
I'm sorry, we're going all over the place. He loves
National lampoons vacation be.
Speaker 3: Chevy Chevy Chase.
Speaker 2: When he gets pulled over, the cop tells him, hey,
did you see everyone hates Chevy Chase, But there's no
denying he's amazing in that movie.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, Sorry. They leave the grandma just in
the rain.
Speaker 2: When she dies and the kid goes, ah, she smells,
get her away from it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, all right, we're getting back to it. We
get to the head of department dinner well.
Speaker 2: Before night out, but two looks gorgeous, but suddenly she
doesn't feel well, so she's going to stay in.
Speaker 3: God, I want to acknowledge she's still not on the show.
Speaker 1: Yep. So Ben is pissed that he got the helmet.
He said, you don't give a department head a helmet,
Well you do if you make lobster spring holes, rolls
in Wahoo and an orange Sphinx cake for dinner, and
that's when you get the helmet, buddy. So let's get
back to Foxy j Axes an empty restaurant, and in
Castleware wherever they are, Daisy and Ben really get after it,
and Daisy tells, Ben, you know, I hate you, but
I hate Ellie, your little fucking spongh hiuaua even more. Okay,
tell her to shut the fuck up when I'm around her,
and he goes, all right, no problem.
Speaker 2: Of you know, you use your charm to get out
of being a dick a lot, which he does. He's
got that little accent that's kind of cute, and but
he apologizes for that.
Speaker 3: So I'm thinking, this is it. We're uh, I guess
we're done for the evening, and.
Speaker 1: They should have been done. We we smooth everything over.
I'm talking to the wait staff about being a Sagittarius.
We're about to go out, but no, Jiuau and Daisy
go outside to suck down a sig and they start
re litigating that Ben's a piece of shit. To his credit,
I'd be like, what are we doing here? We're reversing
over the speed bump that we just conquer. I mean,
what's going on?
Speaker 2: Well, it's not only coming from their mouths. They basically
mentioned that hot Captain Pants said when Ben wasn't there,
he said, well, when he's not here, it doesn't matter.
I don't care if he's not here, or something to
that effect that hurts Ben's field.
Speaker 1: I didn't give a shit. Okay, you can go fuck himself.
Get in the comments, let us know you thought about
the episode. What's going on in your life? Tell us
join us Patreon dot com, slash another podcast network, a
humble home, a cottage of your enjoyment. Donate a little
or a little bit more five stars kind of words
I'm doing. That's pat saying goodbye, goodbye pet Yet Taylor
tract distances shingt