WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.590 --> 00:00:05.929 Welcome to Shine, Delusion, Shine, the radical art of dreaming 2 00:00:06.049 --> 00:00:10.029 beyond boundaries. I am Vicki Todd, and together with Dr. Pat, 3 00:00:10.130 --> 00:00:12.710 we will learn to push the boundaries of our minds 4 00:00:13.009 --> 00:00:16.390 to think delusionally and create fertile ground for our big 5 00:00:16.539 --> 00:00:20.760 dreams to seed, grow, and manifest. Each episode, we will 6 00:00:20.780 --> 00:00:25.420 gain more ability to think delusionally and cultivate beyond boundaries faith. 7 00:00:25.769 --> 00:00:29.789 that we can accomplish dreams which seem unreachable. Shine, Delusion, 8 00:00:29.870 --> 00:00:34.310 Shine is a springboard to believing, dreaming, and thinking beyond 9 00:00:34.369 --> 00:00:37.600 the ordinary and a catalyst to living a more fulfilling, 10 00:00:37.880 --> 00:00:41.640 destiny-driven life. You were born with dreams, gifts, and talents 11 00:00:41.679 --> 00:00:43.799 you are meant to use to make this world brighter. 12 00:00:44.000 --> 00:00:47.920 Let your delusional dreams shine. It all starts now. 13 00:00:47.939 --> 00:00:51.979 Hey, everybody, I'm Dr. Patton. I want to tell you, 14 00:00:52.020 --> 00:00:54.210 we have got a hot one for you right now. 15 00:00:55.420 --> 00:01:00.450 I want to ask everybody, how many of you out there, 16 00:01:00.590 --> 00:01:03.850 just for a moment, take a moment, how many of 17 00:01:03.929 --> 00:01:09.530 you have walked away from something that you are passionate about? Well, 18 00:01:09.909 --> 00:01:12.769 let me not be that blunt. How many of you 19 00:01:12.870 --> 00:01:16.390 may be almost like you put it out of your 20 00:01:16.510 --> 00:01:21.310 memory that you had this passion, this purpose? You know 21 00:01:21.349 --> 00:01:25.079 what that's like? It's not quite putting out a fire. 22 00:01:25.239 --> 00:01:29.599 It's like smoldering. It's not quite gone. But today's episode 23 00:01:30.400 --> 00:01:36.829 is more than that. Quiet quitting your calling. Vicki Todd, 24 00:01:37.150 --> 00:01:40.790 this is her show. This is a topic that I'm 25 00:01:40.829 --> 00:01:43.230 telling you, all y'all out there know what we're talking 26 00:01:43.269 --> 00:01:45.640 about right now. But you're going to hear from Vicki 27 00:01:45.700 --> 00:01:50.810 on how this insidious topic thing shows up like a 28 00:01:50.890 --> 00:01:54.769 wart you've had since you were a child and somehow 29 00:01:55.390 --> 00:01:58.170 ignored until the point it got to be the size 30 00:01:58.409 --> 00:02:02.890 of a football. Vicki, thank you for this topic today. 31 00:02:03.189 --> 00:02:05.250 Let's talk about this. What does this mean for you? 32 00:02:05.329 --> 00:02:08.629 Because it's not just about a job, although it is. 33 00:02:09.150 --> 00:02:11.629 It could be about anything, relationships. It could be about 34 00:02:11.669 --> 00:02:13.310 what you like to do for fun. As a matter 35 00:02:13.330 --> 00:02:16.349 of fact, I'm going through this myself. But I'm not 36 00:02:16.370 --> 00:02:18.629 going to bring it up at the moment. But why 37 00:02:18.650 --> 00:02:20.889 did this come up for you? And let's talk about 38 00:02:20.930 --> 00:02:23.430 this in the context of what this year was to 39 00:02:23.469 --> 00:02:23.969 be about. 40 00:02:24.610 --> 00:02:28.870 This topic, it just, it sets me on fire. It's just, 41 00:02:28.889 --> 00:02:32.490 it's so important. The reason that I wanted to talk 42 00:02:32.509 --> 00:02:35.349 about this today, I was listening to a podcast. It 43 00:02:35.370 --> 00:02:39.090 was an Oprah podcast. And it was about women who 44 00:02:39.129 --> 00:02:45.090 are quiet quitting their marriages. And so basically in a nutshell, 45 00:02:45.879 --> 00:02:48.530 the women that have been in these relationships for a while, 46 00:02:48.550 --> 00:02:53.789 the women are wanting to evolve and grow and follow 47 00:02:53.830 --> 00:02:58.240 their gifts and, you know, start rising higher. And their 48 00:02:58.250 --> 00:03:01.580 husbands aren't wanting to do that. They're wanting to stay 49 00:03:01.659 --> 00:03:04.680 stable and static and just, you know, the status quo. 50 00:03:05.340 --> 00:03:09.400 And so these women who were speaking were so miserable 51 00:03:09.620 --> 00:03:13.310 and afraid and You know, I don't know what's happening. 52 00:03:13.370 --> 00:03:15.289 What can we do? How can I, you know, get 53 00:03:15.349 --> 00:03:19.199 him to be pulled along? And they were just quiet 54 00:03:19.259 --> 00:03:22.000 quitting their marriages, meaning that they're going to stay there 55 00:03:22.020 --> 00:03:26.539 and just kind of let this happen while trying to 56 00:03:27.530 --> 00:03:30.569 grow and evolve themselves. And that just really hit me 57 00:03:31.050 --> 00:03:34.969 because I have been there. You know, I can't, everybody's 58 00:03:35.150 --> 00:03:37.509 circumstances are different. All I can do is speak on 59 00:03:37.550 --> 00:03:41.849 my circumstance. But I was there with a marriage that 60 00:03:41.949 --> 00:03:45.229 I probably shouldn't have been in in the first place. And, 61 00:03:45.490 --> 00:03:48.229 you know, it came along that I had the opportunity 62 00:03:48.330 --> 00:03:51.090 to go for my doctorate degree and start teaching. And 63 00:03:51.889 --> 00:03:54.960 that just did not go over well with my spouse 64 00:03:55.090 --> 00:03:58.400 at the time. And I've had the same experience with 65 00:03:58.800 --> 00:04:04.199 another romantic relationship with friendships. And we actually learned in 66 00:04:04.259 --> 00:04:07.719 one of my doctoral classes that it's very common for 67 00:04:07.879 --> 00:04:11.219 when one person in a relationship wants to grow, wants 68 00:04:11.280 --> 00:04:14.599 to fly higher. And in this context, in the class, 69 00:04:14.639 --> 00:04:16.860 of course, it was to go, you know, get more education. 70 00:04:16.879 --> 00:04:21.360 It's common for the other partner, and I'm sorry, it 71 00:04:21.399 --> 00:04:23.379 was usually women who are wanting to grow and men 72 00:04:23.430 --> 00:04:26.589 who are not, but it's common for the other partner 73 00:04:26.629 --> 00:04:32.209 to try to sabotage And I thought, I so experienced that. 74 00:04:32.310 --> 00:04:34.649 I was experiencing it during the time I was taking 75 00:04:34.689 --> 00:04:38.339 that class in the early 2000s. And so the partner 76 00:04:38.399 --> 00:04:41.839 kind of tries to what is really crab bucket mentality. 77 00:04:41.860 --> 00:04:44.180 You know, you have all these crabs in a bucket 78 00:04:44.560 --> 00:04:46.620 and one crab is trying their hardest, you know, to 79 00:04:46.660 --> 00:04:48.839 get toward the top of the bucket and escape to 80 00:04:48.899 --> 00:04:51.939 grow higher. And the other crabs keep pulling them back down. 81 00:04:51.959 --> 00:04:55.379 And it's really kind of a thing of maybe that 82 00:04:55.459 --> 00:04:59.269 partner is afraid Maybe that partner is saying, oh, I 83 00:04:59.290 --> 00:05:01.189 don't want life to change. I want things to stay 84 00:05:01.370 --> 00:05:06.410 as they are right now. Excuse me. Maybe it's that 85 00:05:06.689 --> 00:05:10.079 the person who's wanting to grow is holding up a 86 00:05:10.120 --> 00:05:13.740 mirror to that person's face and showing them, reminding them 87 00:05:13.879 --> 00:05:17.600 that you're not growing. And so they kind of want 88 00:05:17.639 --> 00:05:20.620 to pull you back down to be at their level. 89 00:05:21.459 --> 00:05:25.240 And so... quiet quitting and just staying in that relationship, 90 00:05:25.600 --> 00:05:29.220 I could not do it. I just felt myself shrinking 91 00:05:29.240 --> 00:05:32.740 into this tiny ball. And I really kind of became 92 00:05:32.819 --> 00:05:37.579 cowed in the relationship. And so I've heard that with relationships. 93 00:05:37.620 --> 00:05:41.300 And I've also heard the jobs that generations younger than 94 00:05:41.339 --> 00:05:43.360 me are kind of quiet quitting their jobs. 95 00:05:43.540 --> 00:05:47.009 Excuse me, I'm sorry. And when you're talking about quiet quitting, 96 00:05:47.029 --> 00:05:49.120 we need to talk about what quiet quitting means for 97 00:05:49.160 --> 00:05:53.660 people that don't know. You know, Mama Doris used to say, honey, yeah, 98 00:05:55.740 --> 00:05:57.379 no one to hold them and no one to fold them. 99 00:05:57.740 --> 00:06:00.839 What Mama Doris, you know, talked about too, but not 100 00:06:00.899 --> 00:06:04.290 quite in the same way, is when you're not sure 101 00:06:04.329 --> 00:06:06.149 about whether you want to hold them and you're not 102 00:06:06.209 --> 00:06:08.649 sure about whether you want to fold them, what you 103 00:06:08.670 --> 00:06:10.290 are is she used to say, honey, you're stuck in 104 00:06:10.329 --> 00:06:16.279 a crease. Oh, that's good. That's Mama Doris. And it 105 00:06:16.319 --> 00:06:18.959 took us like 40 freaking years to figure out what 106 00:06:19.000 --> 00:06:21.779 any of that meant because we were living it. But 107 00:06:21.879 --> 00:06:25.870 quiet quitting is a fascinating term. And we need to 108 00:06:25.990 --> 00:06:29.610 talk about it because some people have said to me, oh, 109 00:06:29.670 --> 00:06:32.230 you mean passive aggressive. I said, no, I don't mean that. 110 00:06:32.750 --> 00:06:35.649 I think we have not defined quiet quitting. And what 111 00:06:35.670 --> 00:06:36.730 does that mean for you? 112 00:06:36.750 --> 00:06:39.990 Well, when I was listening to these things and reading 113 00:06:40.050 --> 00:06:44.959 about the younger generations saying, And they've got a point. Basically, 114 00:06:44.980 --> 00:06:48.639 younger generations are saying, I want more work-life balance. I 115 00:06:48.680 --> 00:06:52.699 have to admit, I don't have the greatest balance with work-life. But, 116 00:06:53.240 --> 00:06:55.220 you know, they're kind of just doing the status quo 117 00:06:55.279 --> 00:06:57.319 in their jobs where I'm not going to go the extra. 118 00:06:57.360 --> 00:06:58.660 I'm just going to do what I need to do. 119 00:06:58.740 --> 00:07:00.610 I'm going to quit at five and go home. Don't 120 00:07:00.730 --> 00:07:03.509 call me on the weekends. Don't call me after hours. 121 00:07:04.250 --> 00:07:10.300 And that's not really being involved. Like you're disengaged. And 122 00:07:10.360 --> 00:07:13.379 so when I think about this in terms of our 123 00:07:13.420 --> 00:07:16.860 delusional dreams, I knew I had to get out of 124 00:07:16.899 --> 00:07:19.660 that marriage because I wouldn't be able to grow and 125 00:07:19.819 --> 00:07:24.709 fly and evolve if I stayed shrunk. I knew when 126 00:07:24.750 --> 00:07:28.449 I had that job of, you know, university professor, tenured 127 00:07:28.509 --> 00:07:33.649 chair of my department, 17 years I'd been teaching. And 128 00:07:33.670 --> 00:07:37.850 I had discovered through meditation that remember, you are on 129 00:07:37.870 --> 00:07:39.800 this planet to be an artist. Well, I was a 130 00:07:39.829 --> 00:07:43.420 public relations professor and I tried, I'm not saying this 131 00:07:43.500 --> 00:07:46.079 flippantly to say, oh yeah, I'll just quit your job. 132 00:07:46.420 --> 00:07:49.300 I tried for two years to balance being a professor, 133 00:07:49.600 --> 00:07:51.519 which is a six to seven day a week job 134 00:07:52.100 --> 00:07:55.540 and trying to fit in art. And my soul was 135 00:07:55.620 --> 00:07:59.920 literally shriveling, shrinking and dying. And the pain of not 136 00:08:00.339 --> 00:08:02.740 taking the leap got to be more than the fear. 137 00:08:03.100 --> 00:08:05.819 And that's what I've heard, you know, the podcast and 138 00:08:05.879 --> 00:08:10.290 reading about quiet quitting It's really afraid, a fear of 139 00:08:10.329 --> 00:08:12.529 the unknown, a fear of taking risks and I'll just 140 00:08:12.589 --> 00:08:15.970 stay where I am. And that just kills me because 141 00:08:15.990 --> 00:08:19.899 you cannot do that when pursuing your delusional dreams because 142 00:08:19.920 --> 00:08:24.120 that's not allowing you to be and live your authentic self. 143 00:08:24.680 --> 00:08:26.500 It's not allowing you to grow the way that you 144 00:08:26.519 --> 00:08:29.819 need to grow. And like your mother Dora said, you know, 145 00:08:29.860 --> 00:08:32.320 you're in that crease of, I don't want to go back, 146 00:08:32.360 --> 00:08:35.100 but I can't go forward right now. And so I'm 147 00:08:35.120 --> 00:08:37.179 not saying what you want and what you need to do. 148 00:08:37.700 --> 00:08:42.159 But in my experiences, I had to just leave, leave 149 00:08:42.220 --> 00:08:44.879 the marriage, leave the job and start over. And it 150 00:08:44.940 --> 00:08:48.519 was so scary. And I did not take that lightly. 151 00:08:48.879 --> 00:08:50.399 But I can tell you, you know, being on the 152 00:08:50.490 --> 00:08:54.769 other side, it hasn't been an easy journey. But I 153 00:08:54.809 --> 00:09:00.029 cannot imagine staying there and quiet quitting and not developing 154 00:09:00.149 --> 00:09:03.529 into who I was put on this planet to be. Yeah. 155 00:09:03.899 --> 00:09:05.740 And you know what I love about that? What we're 156 00:09:05.759 --> 00:09:08.840 really talking about is we're not just quitting a thing 157 00:09:08.899 --> 00:09:12.590 or an action. We're quitting on ourselves. Absolutely. That's what 158 00:09:12.610 --> 00:09:14.450 the quitting is about. And that's the point I think 159 00:09:14.470 --> 00:09:17.539 we're trying to make today. But, you know, here you are, 160 00:09:17.649 --> 00:09:21.629 you're understanding that there are some relationships. And I think 161 00:09:21.669 --> 00:09:24.049 for you, you knew your soul would shrivel up and die. 162 00:09:24.070 --> 00:09:27.769 Oh, absolutely. I know that sounds really dramatic, but it 163 00:09:27.809 --> 00:09:32.090 was absolutely true. I was miserable. And I thought you 164 00:09:32.129 --> 00:09:34.429 have to You have to take the blind leap of 165 00:09:34.490 --> 00:09:37.850 faith off of this cliff. No, you don't have a plan. No, 166 00:09:37.889 --> 00:09:40.250 you don't know what is going to happen. I didn't 167 00:09:40.289 --> 00:09:42.200 know how I was going to make money. What about 168 00:09:42.240 --> 00:09:44.940 health care? I knew that my mom was going to 169 00:09:44.980 --> 00:09:48.539 be so incredibly upset with me. And she was. But 170 00:09:48.720 --> 00:09:52.070 all of that pain has, you know, I've lived it. 171 00:09:52.299 --> 00:09:54.909 I've worked through it. I've learned from it. And it's 172 00:09:55.009 --> 00:09:58.730 turned into this beautiful book that I've written. Yeah. So 173 00:09:58.850 --> 00:10:01.230 it all is for a purpose. for something. Yeah. 174 00:10:01.570 --> 00:10:04.009 And let's talk about the book right now. Because, you know, 175 00:10:04.129 --> 00:10:08.250 what happens when you find your way out of the crevasse, 176 00:10:08.649 --> 00:10:11.980 or like my mom used to say, the crease, when 177 00:10:12.019 --> 00:10:14.019 you find your way out of that crease, however you 178 00:10:14.039 --> 00:10:15.750 do it, you can iron it, you can steam it, 179 00:10:15.779 --> 00:10:19.159 but somehow you're not creased anymore. You write a book. 180 00:10:19.360 --> 00:10:23.220 Let's talk about the book and the book journey for you. Because, 181 00:10:23.240 --> 00:10:26.620 you know, I always get asked the question, do you 182 00:10:26.659 --> 00:10:28.820 think you would have dot, dot, dot, if you would 183 00:10:28.840 --> 00:10:33.879 have stayed dot, dot, dot? Oh, but Right. And I 184 00:10:33.940 --> 00:10:36.000 really don't know the answer to that question because I 185 00:10:36.039 --> 00:10:38.039 always answer it. I have no idea. I just know 186 00:10:38.059 --> 00:10:40.279 where I am now. So let's talk about where you 187 00:10:40.340 --> 00:10:43.100 are now, because you have a book coming out. The 188 00:10:43.139 --> 00:10:46.500 book in itself has been a journey. And let's talk 189 00:10:46.559 --> 00:10:49.190 about that. Yeah, those words. 190 00:10:49.629 --> 00:10:53.580 Yes, was the idea of samskara, which I'd read about 191 00:10:53.860 --> 00:10:56.039 way back there, you know, when I quit my job, 192 00:10:56.200 --> 00:10:58.940 and I was starting to feel like you think, you know, 193 00:10:58.980 --> 00:11:01.120 once you finish the book, it'd be like, okay, that 194 00:11:01.159 --> 00:11:01.610 will be it. 195 00:11:01.740 --> 00:11:02.139 But no. 196 00:11:03.080 --> 00:11:06.059 And so I've kind of been experiencing all these things 197 00:11:06.120 --> 00:11:08.679 coming at me all of a sudden. And it's like, 198 00:11:08.720 --> 00:11:10.759 there's no time to rest, there's no time to think 199 00:11:10.820 --> 00:11:13.620 about it, poof, you know, you're being pushed out into 200 00:11:13.659 --> 00:11:17.259 the media. And so with You know, right now I'm 201 00:11:17.279 --> 00:11:20.220 in the week of doing the final proofreading. When I 202 00:11:20.259 --> 00:11:22.340 told the guy that I'm working with for six months 203 00:11:22.419 --> 00:11:24.559 to do the social media that, oh, you know, the 204 00:11:24.980 --> 00:11:27.840 publication date is September 22. He kind of freaked out. 205 00:11:27.879 --> 00:11:30.460 He's like, we've got to start making videos now. So 206 00:11:30.580 --> 00:11:33.230 in this week of proofreading, he sent me 15 scripts. 207 00:11:33.399 --> 00:11:36.169 And here's a link to a teleprompter, by the way. 208 00:11:36.190 --> 00:11:38.690 And I'm like, I've never done this before. And so 209 00:11:38.710 --> 00:11:41.019 we're going to do this next week. Um, there's a 210 00:11:41.049 --> 00:11:44.440 national publicity summit in October where it's two weeks of 211 00:11:44.539 --> 00:11:47.879 pitching to the media. And so there's another person who 212 00:11:47.919 --> 00:11:50.840 will help train me to pitch. And so I've been like, 213 00:11:50.960 --> 00:11:53.759 and you know, my publisher is like, okay, what book 214 00:11:53.779 --> 00:11:55.919 festivals are you going to apply for? 215 00:11:55.940 --> 00:11:57.159 What this, what that? 216 00:11:57.659 --> 00:12:01.100 And so it has reminded me the Sam scare, Sam 217 00:12:01.139 --> 00:12:04.679 Scarra feelings, which means, you know, something happened in the 218 00:12:04.720 --> 00:12:07.519 past that caused these negative feelings. They are buried deep, deep, 219 00:12:07.539 --> 00:12:10.350 deep inside of you. You think they're long gone. Something 220 00:12:10.389 --> 00:12:12.690 happens in the current present tense. 221 00:12:12.750 --> 00:12:13.230 It may not be. 222 00:12:13.190 --> 00:12:16.990 Exactly the same, but those feelings start bubbling up. I 223 00:12:17.029 --> 00:12:21.289 started having the same feelings as when the late 1990s, 224 00:12:21.299 --> 00:12:23.840 early 2000s, I got divorced. I'm going back for my 225 00:12:23.860 --> 00:12:27.820 doctorate degree. I'm feeling really victimized. Everything is just really 226 00:12:27.879 --> 00:12:30.139 coming at me. You can't get off the train because 227 00:12:30.159 --> 00:12:32.830 you have to finish your degree. You have to go interview. 228 00:12:32.909 --> 00:12:35.409 You have to get a job. And I remember telling 229 00:12:35.450 --> 00:12:37.830 a friend at the time, I want to just get 230 00:12:37.889 --> 00:12:40.590 off this merry-go-round for a while. It's going too fast 231 00:12:40.649 --> 00:12:43.929 and I feel overwhelmed. Well, these same feelings have come 232 00:12:43.990 --> 00:12:45.409 up with all these things with what are you going 233 00:12:45.429 --> 00:12:47.990 to do with the book type of thing. And so 234 00:12:48.169 --> 00:12:50.269 it helps me to define it. It's like, what are 235 00:12:50.289 --> 00:12:53.549 you feeling and why? And I'm like, that's the same feeling, 236 00:12:54.169 --> 00:12:58.629 but time out, sister, because... this is your dream. You 237 00:12:58.669 --> 00:13:02.149 don't want to get off this merry-go-round this time. So 238 00:13:02.669 --> 00:13:05.820 how can I take those feelings where I'm starting to 239 00:13:05.860 --> 00:13:09.460 feel a little victimized again and negative, how can I 240 00:13:09.519 --> 00:13:11.899 turn that around and say, okay, I'm not getting off 241 00:13:11.940 --> 00:13:15.080 the merry-go-round. How can I react to this in a 242 00:13:15.179 --> 00:13:16.000 different way? 243 00:13:16.019 --> 00:13:17.340 And so. 244 00:13:18.570 --> 00:13:21.309 I was reading the Sean Aker book. He's one of 245 00:13:21.330 --> 00:13:25.950 the happiness and positivity researchers. And he had a great tactic. 246 00:13:26.029 --> 00:13:30.600 It's so simple. He said, it's okay to admit I'm overwhelmed. 247 00:13:30.700 --> 00:13:32.240 This is too much coming at me. 248 00:13:32.600 --> 00:13:33.379 I'm tired. 249 00:13:33.399 --> 00:13:36.179 You know, where's my break type of thing. It's okay 250 00:13:36.200 --> 00:13:40.000 to admit that. But he said, add a strategic positive 251 00:13:40.139 --> 00:13:43.279 addendum onto it. So I can say, you know, I 252 00:13:43.330 --> 00:13:46.110 am totally overwhelmed. All of these people are wanting to 253 00:13:46.149 --> 00:13:48.210 do me to do all these things that I haven't 254 00:13:48.269 --> 00:13:51.690 done in 11 years. And, you know, I've been basically 255 00:13:51.730 --> 00:13:53.509 a hermit for the past year and a half writing 256 00:13:53.549 --> 00:13:55.320 this book. And now you're pushing me out into the 257 00:13:55.399 --> 00:13:58.840 media and I have to pitch really quickly. Oh, well, 258 00:13:59.159 --> 00:14:02.620 my addendum is thank you for all of these divine 259 00:14:02.659 --> 00:14:06.690 connection people who are helping me, training me to grow 260 00:14:06.789 --> 00:14:10.629 higher more than I could on my own. And so 261 00:14:11.190 --> 00:14:13.429 that has, you know, I can just feel joy bubbling 262 00:14:13.470 --> 00:14:16.289 up in my heart when I say that. And like 263 00:14:16.350 --> 00:14:19.460 not having a quote unquote public job for 11 years because, 264 00:14:19.480 --> 00:14:24.519 you know, I quit my professor job in 2015. The 265 00:14:24.600 --> 00:14:26.779 one thing that popped into my mind, I'm so thankful 266 00:14:26.820 --> 00:14:30.990 that we started doing this podcast because this came along 267 00:14:31.029 --> 00:14:34.350 and we started in January 25. Thank God we've been 268 00:14:34.389 --> 00:14:36.129 doing this for a year and a half because this 269 00:14:36.210 --> 00:14:38.610 is live and you have to be, you know, on it. 270 00:14:39.149 --> 00:14:42.029 If I hadn't been doing that, I would be freaking out. 271 00:14:42.690 --> 00:14:44.830 So it's kind of like, you know, Maya Angelou used 272 00:14:44.870 --> 00:14:47.850 to say, when there's a storm, say thank you, because 273 00:14:47.889 --> 00:14:50.960 there's a rainbow in the clouds. So that's basically what 274 00:14:50.980 --> 00:14:53.100 Sean Aker is saying. Yeah. 275 00:14:53.580 --> 00:14:55.679 You know, it's so interesting you brought that up, because 276 00:14:55.740 --> 00:14:57.240 I want to talk to you about this, because it 277 00:14:57.259 --> 00:14:59.179 gets us to the place of, you know, some of 278 00:14:59.200 --> 00:15:02.500 the conversations that I'm having with people. They don't always 279 00:15:02.539 --> 00:15:05.950 say the word overwhelmed, but clearly that's what's happening for them. 280 00:15:06.789 --> 00:15:11.360 And You know, what happens is the idea of actually 281 00:15:11.419 --> 00:15:14.820 doing a show like this and how this can benefit 282 00:15:15.460 --> 00:15:20.019 somebody who actually has a lofty dream that is not 283 00:15:20.080 --> 00:15:23.220 going to manifest for a year. And I like to 284 00:15:23.279 --> 00:15:27.710 call it, this is a training wheel playground for your 285 00:15:27.830 --> 00:15:33.269 future visibility. You know, some people are already visible and 286 00:15:33.309 --> 00:15:35.909 they want to do a show because of whatever reasons. 287 00:15:36.440 --> 00:15:39.450 But out of everybody we've had, nobody is more visible 288 00:15:39.590 --> 00:15:43.269 than you. When you started this at the beginning, you 289 00:15:43.350 --> 00:15:46.470 are actually painting on air. 290 00:15:47.070 --> 00:15:49.330 Yeah. And people, I didn't want to do that. 291 00:15:49.350 --> 00:15:51.090 I know you didn't. 292 00:15:52.090 --> 00:15:54.909 And I literally said, hell no, that that was coming 293 00:15:54.980 --> 00:15:58.720 from a place of fear. And so, you know, you said, well, 294 00:15:58.759 --> 00:16:02.460 maybe you should think about why you had such a strong, rude, 295 00:16:02.639 --> 00:16:06.389 visceral reaction to that. But, you know, I did it, 296 00:16:06.529 --> 00:16:10.309 and it was great. And every show you do, tell 297 00:16:10.370 --> 00:16:13.490 people what's behind you. See, people may not know that 298 00:16:13.570 --> 00:16:17.809 when you show up, this is your art. Yes. That's 299 00:16:17.850 --> 00:16:21.490 not a prop. No. So when I quit my job 300 00:16:21.590 --> 00:16:24.200 in 2015, that was my goal was to become an artist, 301 00:16:24.250 --> 00:16:28.100 and I was doing expressive female portraits. My sculptures, this 302 00:16:28.179 --> 00:16:32.929 is a half part deer, part female body. I didn't 303 00:16:32.950 --> 00:16:36.529 start sculpting until 2018. And I found out, you know, 304 00:16:36.549 --> 00:16:38.549 it's just one of those things that kept coming up. 305 00:16:38.950 --> 00:16:41.309 I know it was a seed in my heart. I 306 00:16:41.370 --> 00:16:44.190 never thought I would be a sculptor. And I kept thinking, 307 00:16:44.230 --> 00:16:46.950 try it, try it, try it. And I did, and I'm. 308 00:16:46.870 --> 00:16:47.370 Good at it. 309 00:16:47.850 --> 00:16:51.649 So, you know, it's these little God seeds, you know, 310 00:16:51.669 --> 00:16:54.470 they've been planted in you and they don't all sprout 311 00:16:54.490 --> 00:16:58.450 at once. But, you know, take that. And that's one 312 00:16:58.470 --> 00:17:01.850 thing I love in Sean Aker's book, He has these 313 00:17:01.909 --> 00:17:05.059 seven beliefs that are core beliefs. And one of them 314 00:17:05.339 --> 00:17:09.720 is there's something greater than me. And you know that 315 00:17:09.759 --> 00:17:12.019 I love this because I depend so much on my 316 00:17:12.079 --> 00:17:15.680 higher power for me that's got to follow through on 317 00:17:15.720 --> 00:17:21.240 this journey. But they have actual scientific academic research where 318 00:17:21.299 --> 00:17:26.450 even one of his co-workers at Harvard who doesn't believe 319 00:17:26.490 --> 00:17:29.269 in anything higher than him, he's like, yeah, that's a 320 00:17:29.299 --> 00:17:33.880 good point. That would work. One of the things was 321 00:17:33.900 --> 00:17:36.579 that not only does it give you longevity and, you know, 322 00:17:36.619 --> 00:17:40.160 better social connections and happiness in your own life, but 323 00:17:40.259 --> 00:17:45.630 it also having this belief in a higher benevolent, loving power, 324 00:17:45.730 --> 00:17:49.130 this bigger source that wants you to do well, it 325 00:17:49.170 --> 00:17:50.869 gives us more of a sense of a control because 326 00:17:50.890 --> 00:17:53.089 we're not doing life on our own and we can 327 00:17:53.130 --> 00:17:57.740 tap into that supernatural power. And so simple things, you know, 328 00:17:57.759 --> 00:17:59.880 he said regular acts, and I think that's the key 329 00:17:59.940 --> 00:18:05.470 is regular acts, prayer, meditation, yoga, walking in nature, viewing art, 330 00:18:05.609 --> 00:18:09.190 doing art, you know, helping others. All of that helps 331 00:18:09.269 --> 00:18:15.849 what Sean Aker calls the four horsemen of the modern world, burnout, anxiety, loneliness, depression. 332 00:18:16.349 --> 00:18:20.059 Those things make you want to quiet quit. And so 333 00:18:20.160 --> 00:18:22.440 if you feel like no, because I mean, trust me, 334 00:18:22.480 --> 00:18:24.519 along this journey, I've been like, is this even worth 335 00:18:24.619 --> 00:18:28.180 it at some points? But it's always that prompt to 336 00:18:28.259 --> 00:18:31.900 keep going, keep going. Doors will open. Resources will come. 337 00:18:31.920 --> 00:18:34.700 You know, the right people will pop up. And so 338 00:18:34.849 --> 00:18:39.009 I've just kept following that quiet, you know, little breadcrumb trail. 339 00:18:39.890 --> 00:18:43.170 And here we are, you know. And so I think 340 00:18:43.210 --> 00:18:46.150 that's such an important thing is to tap into that 341 00:18:46.250 --> 00:18:48.150 higher power. Yeah. 342 00:18:48.589 --> 00:18:50.789 I think it's so critically important, but let's talk about 343 00:18:50.809 --> 00:18:53.269 it in the context of your book, because there have 344 00:18:53.289 --> 00:18:58.009 to be times where you felt all of the above. Now, 345 00:18:58.390 --> 00:19:02.539 we've mentioned the book. What can people expect about the book? 346 00:19:02.670 --> 00:19:03.480 When is it coming? 347 00:19:04.240 --> 00:19:11.839 I'm so excited. We finally have a confirmed publication date. Tuesday, 348 00:19:11.900 --> 00:19:15.400 September 22 is the first day of autumn. And it 349 00:19:15.420 --> 00:19:18.930 just felt really like a great date for me. And 350 00:19:18.950 --> 00:19:24.089 so Tuesday, September 22, the book is called Shine Happy Shine, 351 00:19:24.109 --> 00:19:28.869 a mystical memoir of art, destiny, and a tenacious mother-daughter bond. 352 00:19:29.450 --> 00:19:33.220 And to celebrate the publication, I am having an art raffle. 353 00:19:33.640 --> 00:19:37.619 So if you go to my website, shinehappyshine.com, sign up 354 00:19:37.640 --> 00:19:40.920 for my email list to be entered in the art raffle. 355 00:19:41.339 --> 00:19:44.519 There's also an art raffle tab on the website. It 356 00:19:44.539 --> 00:19:46.440 will give you all the details of how it works. 357 00:19:47.009 --> 00:19:50.440 But there are 32 of my paintings, the painting behind 358 00:19:50.480 --> 00:19:53.240 me is the cover art and at the beginning of 359 00:19:53.359 --> 00:19:55.740 each chapter and some of my body prints from my 360 00:19:55.839 --> 00:19:58.380 one woman show and some other you know, portraits that 361 00:19:58.420 --> 00:20:02.019 I've done throughout the years. And so you can, there's 362 00:20:02.079 --> 00:20:05.240 a link where you can preview all of the paintings 363 00:20:05.809 --> 00:20:08.750 that are available. And so after I'll probably wait a 364 00:20:08.809 --> 00:20:10.490 week or two to make sure that, you know, people 365 00:20:10.509 --> 00:20:13.490 can really sign up. I'll select a random winner and 366 00:20:13.529 --> 00:20:16.829 contact you and you can select which painting you want. 367 00:20:17.130 --> 00:20:20.910 And I will have created an eight inch by 10 368 00:20:20.910 --> 00:20:24.769 inch full color fine art archival print and send it 369 00:20:24.809 --> 00:20:27.579 to you. So please sign up by I want to celebrate. 370 00:20:28.559 --> 00:20:30.440 I love it. I want to thank you for doing that. 371 00:20:31.019 --> 00:20:32.980 I want to just kind of bring this full circle 372 00:20:33.220 --> 00:20:36.380 with another story you have. And it's about the audio book, 373 00:20:36.940 --> 00:20:39.680 because how many times have I, I grew up with 374 00:20:39.769 --> 00:20:42.970 mama Doris who never believed in quitting. So that's another show, 375 00:20:43.670 --> 00:20:47.230 but we get to the point where this idea of 376 00:20:47.329 --> 00:20:51.609 quiet quitting is a little bit more insidious. Yeah. Yeah. 377 00:20:51.690 --> 00:20:53.849 You know what I'm saying? It's not like you wake 378 00:20:53.890 --> 00:20:55.549 up one day and say, I'm going to quit smoking. 379 00:20:55.710 --> 00:20:58.890 It really isn't like that. It's a series of facts 380 00:20:58.970 --> 00:21:01.950 or attitudes or beliefs that could happen over a period 381 00:21:01.970 --> 00:21:05.779 of time where when you get sort of to the 382 00:21:05.839 --> 00:21:10.640 tail end of that snake, what happens is you've already 383 00:21:10.740 --> 00:21:13.630 quietly quit and you don't even realize it. So tell 384 00:21:13.670 --> 00:21:16.009 us about the audiobook, Discovery. 385 00:21:17.470 --> 00:21:20.119 Well, I was talking to my publisher because we've been 386 00:21:20.200 --> 00:21:23.740 meeting just about every week. And, you know, the book 387 00:21:23.779 --> 00:21:25.920 is going to be in print and also an e-book. 388 00:21:25.960 --> 00:21:28.319 And she said, well, maybe you could do an audio book. 389 00:21:28.700 --> 00:21:31.250 And so she went out and researched here in New 390 00:21:31.269 --> 00:21:34.750 Mexico where I could find an audio book producer. And 391 00:21:34.789 --> 00:21:38.029 so since my book is a little bit over 80,000 392 00:21:38.029 --> 00:21:40.730 words and they do by hour, And she was telling 393 00:21:40.750 --> 00:21:42.349 me the cost of it. And I was like, Oh, 394 00:21:42.470 --> 00:21:44.650 you know, I'm not really sure about that. And you know, 395 00:21:44.690 --> 00:21:48.509 I asked her to rank print versus ebook versus audio 396 00:21:48.549 --> 00:21:52.869 and audio kind of came later. And so I was thinking, well, 397 00:21:52.890 --> 00:21:55.500 maybe that's not for me. The very next day, I 398 00:21:55.799 --> 00:21:59.420 get an email from the New Mexico Book Association. And 399 00:21:59.440 --> 00:22:03.619 they're having a workshop in October, a lady from here 400 00:22:03.640 --> 00:22:07.339 in Santa Fe, who is a narrator and a producer 401 00:22:07.440 --> 00:22:10.230