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Speaker 1: Why do people eat garlic so you can find him

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in the dark? Correct, say that man eight dollars. How

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do you make andy three hyder pajamas? Correct? Say that

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man hire? Because it pays to be ignorant.

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Speaker 2: I've seen he half all with those masters of insanity,

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Harry McNaughton, George Shelton, the Nailop Girl, Lula McConnell and

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featuring Dark Norvic Orchestra.

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Speaker 1: But now here's a man who booms. It pays to

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be ignorant. Bomb Howard, Yeah, im a quarterback. Firs who

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are so dumb they think the Mayor of New York

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is a horse. First we have the celebrated author. First

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we have to celebrate AfOR mister Harry mcnarth, who is

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j justmt in the booking titles. He gets up early

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with the son, shouldn't stay up late with the daughter.

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But here he is. Here he is mister Harry McNaught.

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He has a pole. I have a poem. You good,

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precisely good, Nelly rude set on a tech, Nellie rude,

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Nellie road sill and never by. Next we have a woman. Next,

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you have a woman so fat when she walks along

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Lower Broadway, people throw ticker tape out the window. They

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think it's a parade. A woman, a woman who, when

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he visits you can stay longer and a half hour

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than Nuney Walls anyone else can stay in the week.

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Here she is the pin up girl of Lower Basin Street.

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Miss Lowe O'Connor. You know I got a dune thing

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this morning. I know you woke up. I am I

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am a sad.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but in my hurry and get my own Manny's

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backnast I gave him a bottle of self flake instead

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of corn flink.

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Speaker 1: So yes, so I put milk on them and aathm

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was he mad when he tases the man. He was

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frozzing at the mouth, see what you mean. Next, we

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have a man who was so ANEI cloking. If he

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ever fell asleep in the tuck seed a suit, they'd

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bury him. A man, a man of when he a

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man of when he was a kid. His mother had

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to buy him back from the dogcatchers three times. Here

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he is the flower of his family. That broom and

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idiot mister George ou now you know, mister hard, I'm

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having a little trouble of my Landlady over at the

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bourton is say he was the trouble. Well, you know,

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the short and help and everything. I've been kind of

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helping around the place a bit by night. But you

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can't please the old dame. Everything I do is wrong.

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I see she bore me on yesterday we're not changing

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the water and the goldfish go cool. I see why

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didn't you change it? They hadn't drank the water. I

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put him there yesterday. Well, we are posts now on.

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We guarantee nothing. Now here's the first question, Howard.

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Speaker 2: Yes, mister Howard, we have a visitor tonight, and here

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he is at this thing where composer on music commentator

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mister Deans Taylor.

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Speaker 1: Oh, well, this really is a surprise, mister Demes Taylor,

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at least for getting intelligent people on this program. How

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do you do, mister Taylor? This is indeed a honnor.

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Why thank you, mister Horn. Let me introduce you to

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the experts, mister Taylor. Allow me to introduce you to

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mister Iron mcnonty.

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Speaker 4: How do you do, mister McNaul Oh, I've.

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Speaker 1: Never met mister Demes, but it's a pleasure to meet

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his Taylor. Miss mccattan, This is not mister deesus Taylor,

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or why didn't you say it once? Paul? Why do

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you have to lie like that? I didn't say. I

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didn't say it was mister Deanes's Taylor. Certainly did you

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send an inner? You said it? I quote, are you

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mister McNaught to meet mister Deans Taylor? I know I did.

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What I didn't say was mister Deans and Taylor? Are

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you feeling well?

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Speaker 5: Mister hard I.

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Speaker 1: Said this was mister Demes Taylor, not the tailor of

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mister need Well. He's the tailor of mister Deames. He

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must be mister Deames Taylor, I say, I say, tell me,

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oh boy, how much do you talk to piss? A

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shoots out? I didn't quite catch your knee. I didn't

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thraw it. He didn't throw And very good, mister Taylor.

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Speaker 3: Whoever's Taylor you are, I'm miss McConnell and I'm fasty, praying, footloose.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the rest the rest of you could stand tighty

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not to Please, let's get started with the questions. As

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you know, mister Taylor, this is a quiz program. We

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have questions which we broke at the experts.

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Speaker 4: Well, whatever you throw at them, remember, please and I'm

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sitting between them.

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Speaker 1: I remember that. Here's the question our studio play on.

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A player will play the course of a very popular

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song of other years. You are to tell me the

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name of the Indian maiden the song is about filewa.

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I am yeah, I haven't heard the song yet. Show

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you how quick I am, boy, boy, I get the

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answers before I hit the question hardy fans, can we

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hear the song? Please? What do you think of it?

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Mister Taylor?

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Speaker 4: You mean the question of the music?

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Speaker 1: Oh, I mean would you know the name of the

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Indian girl in the song?

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Speaker 2: Well?

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Speaker 4: Of course, from where I said, the answer is obvious.

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Speaker 1: I've never heard of an Indian girl named obvious. What

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tribe did she belong to? Never mind?

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Speaker 3: No, miss how I used to play that on the

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piano when I was a little girl.

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Speaker 1: They didn't have pianas when you were a little girl.

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That was beautiful and I really did like the way

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you played it. How would you say he played it,

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mister Taylor?

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Speaker 4: Well, the melodic line was brought into relief by the

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use of a tremolo in the right hand and a

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thermata or hold, and both of these devices were used

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in brought the good taste further to enhance the beauty

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of the main theme.

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Speaker 1: I see.

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Speaker 4: The harmonic structure was indicated by the use of the

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off pedo in the base or left hand, commonly known

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as the albaty bass.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, on.

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Speaker 4: The whole looking for a sound musician the interpretation of

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the open.

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Speaker 1: Miss McConnell, thank you, Mintioned Taylor. Miss peconne, you said

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you played that song on the piano.

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Speaker 4: You can play that you play the piano.

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Speaker 1: Miss mcconne, sure, I've played the piano with my feet.

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Speaker 4: With your feet, what do you do with your hands?

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Speaker 1: Oh? My nose? I hate music, you know, you know

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I can never get any music out of our piano.

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So I chopped it up for firewood. You can't get

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usual kind of a by chopping it up for firewood. No,

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I got a few calls out of it. You got

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a I made a couple of bucks. Never mind, how

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we gonna answer the question. Look, I'll give you an answer.

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Name of the number that was played was pretty red wing? Now,

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then what was the name of the Indian girl that

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the song was? Abow iowatch? Thank you?

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Speaker 5: That was not you know the kind of.

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Speaker 1: Makes you want to leave early August, which is living

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proof that people are still free to do as a

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plays in this country. Well, let's get along here. We

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have in sight of two members of the studio audience

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up here on the state. They can ask the exploits

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of question. If they get an intelligent answer, we give

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them twenty pounds of butter if they If they don't,

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we give them the paper out of Sheldon's shoe. Who

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was our first? Who was our first? Contested, mister roberts.

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Speaker 2: Well down our first yesternight is Corporal's Downy Goodman of

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the United States Field Artillery.

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Speaker 1: I need to do a Cardinal Goodman, and welcome to

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our program. It's a pleasure to drive you here. Where

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is your hometown? Would you care to tell it? My

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hometown is Providence, Rhode Island. Providence, Rhode Island, I mean

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night now, Providence, Rhode Island. Well, put a put a

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bridal gun on me and call me snowflake, I said,

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why are used to working that town? Peter? You know

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very comically, Corporal Goodman, I was in the Lost Warrior.

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I'm a spy. You're a fine didn't they shoes you?

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I don't know how to sinefolded. You are blind. Just

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ignore him, a corporal goodman. I noticed by your ribbons

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there you've seen play of action. Where have you been

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in the Pacific? I've been in So Pacific. You've been

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in Water Canal?

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Speaker 5: You're y, so you were?

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Speaker 3: I saw that picture body Canal when I never saw.

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Speaker 1: Him in If you've can help us out here, if

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you will, cor for what you read into.

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Speaker 5: The dunecap that for got a question for us?

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Speaker 1: Please? And would you be good enough to read the

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questions as soon as you get it, just read it

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right into the microphone, if you will, please.

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Speaker 4: How many notes are there in the musical scale?

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Speaker 1: Now, that's very good. How many notes are there in

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the musical scale? This? We should get a lot of

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help on this from mister Taylor. Mister Tanyler, could you

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tell us the notes in the musical scale?

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Speaker 4: Well, the first notee dough. The second is Ray.

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Speaker 1: That's my wish name, you know Ray.

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Speaker 4: Well that would be easy to remember.

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Speaker 1: Oh yes, Ray, she's always asking me for doe. The

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the third note is me. The third notice you? What's

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that I said? The third notice you? The third note

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is not you? I know it's not as you the

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third notee me third notice me. Isn't that what mister

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Shelton said? No, he said it was you. The third

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note is me? What then, what you're saying was you for?

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I never said it was you. I didn't say you

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did you said it was you?

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Speaker 4: I said the note was met the tailor, I ain't

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just about you said it was me.

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Speaker 1: Well that's right, don't you see? It's the boss of it.

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It's not both of them. Who is it? Lessen your

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three milon ads? Guys, you understand what mister.

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Speaker 5: Taylor is saying.

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Speaker 1: But what I'm an interpreter a way of that? The

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name of the third notice me mister Howard is right.

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Oh I get it. It's mister Howard. No, it's not

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mister Howard. It's me. Well, someone hit me in the

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face with a wet dish rag an that wouldn't improve

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it any Why are you tear out the argument? And

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mister Taylor says a notice him? He ought to know?

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All right, I don't care who is saloons It ain't me.

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But that's right, mister Shatham. It's funny. It's me.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, tell her?

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Speaker 1: How can you be so deceitful? You say with me.

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I know I did. Yes, you understand the name of

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the third note is me. Everybody watched to get into

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the air. Gentlemen, gentlemen.

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Speaker 4: The names of the notes are don't ray me, Foss,

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don't La Steed, do.

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Speaker 1: Go on top and doe on the bottom. Oh, just

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like a pie? Yes, all right, just like a pie?

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What comes in between? Brune draws. Don't let it out?

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He said, Do dot get that inty or not? Do

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I got it? Do not? Do not? I thank you

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a lot carp for me. Now, can we have a

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number from Nat Noviac and his diving jerks. Listen, listen

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and get sick with Natnovac.

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Speaker 5: This is gonna be good.

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Speaker 1: It's beautiful, though lovely. I have my brush and tail.

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I think beautiful. What if what they think? Ay? It

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sends me? Yeah, I wish you would leave you La.

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They think it's beautiful tail. I go over with abandons,

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play William, Ladies and jump.

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Speaker 6: There are I'm playing Richmond in the fight right.

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Speaker 1: There they go the only land the country that plays.

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I'm taking the date O. Thank you doctor Novik for finishing.

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When the pipe piper chased the ass out of Hamlin,

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he really had not Novik's Orgestra with him if you

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want the back. But mister Taylor, all getting aside you

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being an authority on music, what do you think of

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mister Novik's August Do I have to answer that? Well?

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Why why, mister Taylor? Mister Newbik's Augustra is an institution.

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That's where it belongs. That I agree with you clearly there,

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mister Dana, Well let's get on. How about our next

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confessed mister Roberts.

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Speaker 2: Well, here she is that as bright as a dollar,

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mister Hardyman, second class Shirley Coleman out of the United States, Wade,

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how do you do, miss Coleman?

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Speaker 1: This is indeed a pleasure. We're very glad to have

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you with us. I might say you look charming, You

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really do already? Yes, indeed she does look very charming,

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mister hard Okay, you know it's girls like her that

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make me like girls like her that will do. Miss mcglot.

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Where is your hometown, Miss Coleman? Would you care to

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tell us? We just love to know, Cad Cambridge Magic.

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That's very nice. You know what's hard This Colma must

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have been a very beautiful baby. I'm nice as you

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are hey. You know me how speaking about babies? Who

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is the cutest baby over our boarding house the other day?

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And the other day her mother let me hold herround

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my lap, then I put her on the skin else

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and waiter? How much get you weigh? Ninety seven pounds?

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We didn't get home at two o'clock the morning. How long?

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How long have you been in the service? Mischool?

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Speaker 2: Twenty months?

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Speaker 1: Twenty months? Well, congratulations, I suppose you find your work very.

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Speaker 4: Interesting, Yes, sir, I do.

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Speaker 1: Are you married? Yes, sir, you're married. Well. I was

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going to ask you another question, but let's forget it.

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You know, there's hard I was. I could join the

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Wax and the Waves or something you wish. Yeah, I

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did join the rotary club. You joined the rotary club,

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Miss macown, the rotary clubber all from men, from men,

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that's why I joy's why that before. We're very glad

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to have you with us. What did you do before

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you went into service? I went to school, sir. Oh,

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you went to school Camry, Oh, sir, Boston Owen, Boston

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and okay, well I deemed to Boston too, ye know,

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though you're camd in Boshington too. You please don't good. First,

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you want to know you were with me because I tried,

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I got out of the camp. I might have you

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meet mister Taylor, Miss uh Coleman. This is mister Deans Taylor,

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Miss cold.

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Speaker 4: How do you do, Miss Coleman. It's really a very

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great pleasure to geezy gez.

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Speaker 1: We met that you promised making me after the program.

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I never promised to wait for you after the program.

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Don't you need to be a good idea? Well you

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cut it out, please God, pay no attention of missus Coleman.

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We're gonna beat for any minute now, were you would

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you do as a favorite while you're here, would you

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kindly reach into the dunge cap there and you got

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a question for us? And when you get a holder questions,

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would you kindly read it into the microphone? Yes?

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Speaker 4: What kind of wood was in the old oakan bucket?

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Speaker 1: That's very good the place there is one kind of

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wood was in the old oakan? Baman? What kind of wood?

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In other words, was the buckets made out of? Is

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that the old oak com bucket that hung in the well.

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That's right, that's the question. Oh, it's a deep one.

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Is a deep one, mister hand The old com bucket

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is a quart tet? Sharp say, look, he's an idea.

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Let you and I sing a quart test You and I? Yeah, well,

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wait a minute, two people can't sing a court test. Well,

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lot of perfectly willing to help over. I don't forget.

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I have a voice, yeah for haunt calling. Oh yeah,

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well in my voice, I can go to the Metropolitan

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there with your voice you need inshorts. All right, let's

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agree with mister Sheldon for once, for once in our lives,

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if it will help to get the answer to the question,

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we'll sing the old oaken bucket. Liza Taylor, you can

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help us out here. If you will, we might as

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well do this thing Rightlza Taylor, will you announce the quartet?

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Speaker 4: Certainly, mister Horn. Ladies and gentlemen, it is my great

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pleasure to bring to you at this time the Metropolitan.

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Speaker 1: Court Tet, four brilliant voices who.

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Speaker 4: Have just finished the most successful engagement the six months

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in the observation ward the Metropolitan Context of Howard, Shelton, mclausin,

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and McConnell.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Cord. Please, I want to get in the

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pocket locket bucket. Fuck it, wait a matter, there's nothing

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wrong here. What's the matter. Nobody's using an extra bucket?

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What was that you miss, McConnell, not me. I'm using

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the same bucket as you are. Let me tell you something.

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Let's get this straight. There's only one bucket that saw

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you understand that worker and we all use the same bucket.

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I'll get that line every crowded. You know what the mine?

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Now let's start over again. Cord cleanse.

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Speaker 5: The locket bucket, Oh, sir, I shot the cot he.

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Speaker 1: Was sour, Ladies and Gentlemen, Special announcement.

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Speaker 4: Due to an unavoidable accident, the Metropolitan Quartet will.

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Speaker 1: Be unable to appear. Instead, we bring you're the Cosmopolophan

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Trio in bucket de locket bucket.

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Speaker 5: Oh, I shot jelldon He was not only sour, he

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was Romanci Ladies.

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Speaker 4: Ladies and Gentlemen, Special announcement. Due to a severe case

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of blood poisoning of one of the members, the Cosmopolitan

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Trio will be unable to appear. Instead, we shall hear

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from the Canal Street duo. Uh, it's Howard and Kirsten McConnell.

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Speaker 1: The don't in the bucket, Theron Town bucket, Love lobarn

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bucket oh, well, she was a good old bucket, but

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she went to the.

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Speaker 4: Ladies and Gentlemen special announcement due to the fact that

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Miss Kirsten mcconnald broke her bucket. We go now here

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from that international favorite, the original voice of the turtle,

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mister Tom Howard, Oh, don't gin.

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Speaker 1: Uget theron bound buckets sit out. They got me, They

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got me, They got me right in the middle of

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the bucket. The I do not call it that one

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is really hot if we put the dummies back in

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the box. I really do want to thank mister Demes

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Taylor for being with us tonight. Denn a marvelous job

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and was very very nice of him to come up

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here and pay us a visit. And I'd like to

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say to your listeners, try and be with us again

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next week when our special guests will be mister Rolling Young.

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Would you say, mister Howard, what you think I said?

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Rolling Young? The movie actor? How old is he?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Rolling is not old? No young, he's young. Okay, Okay, now, yes,

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if my sirl in that picture, Claudia, oh to know

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mister Shulton, No, that was his son, Robert Young O love.

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He ain't bad either.

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Speaker 3: No, no, mister Howes you know rolling young is Look

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I don't know, Wellerigo matter ready, you don't make any

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difference anyway.

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Speaker 1: No, as long as he wears pam, I thought you

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wear the pant. He does wear pants. The last time

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I saw him on Broadway had him on. I see

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we depleted. Well, let us hope you'll have pants go

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on next Friday night. This is the Armed Forces Radio

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seven b it hay. You know it's just like me.

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Each week I earned six dollars. My brain is terribly like.

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Speaker 4: But when there ain't no income.

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Speaker 1: Why then there ain't no income taxt so you see

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it

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Speaker 2: To ignorant, I have no brain, being a just