Speaker 1: Why do people eat garlic so you can find him
in the dark? Correct, say that man eight dollars. How
do you make andy three hyder pajamas? Correct? Say that
man hire? Because it pays to be ignorant.
Speaker 2: I've seen he half all with those masters of insanity,
Harry McNaughton, George Shelton, the Nailop Girl, Lula McConnell and
featuring Dark Norvic Orchestra.
Speaker 1: But now here's a man who booms. It pays to
be ignorant. Bomb Howard, Yeah, im a quarterback. Firs who
are so dumb they think the Mayor of New York
is a horse. First we have the celebrated author. First
we have to celebrate AfOR mister Harry mcnarth, who is
j justmt in the booking titles. He gets up early
with the son, shouldn't stay up late with the daughter.
But here he is. Here he is mister Harry McNaught.
He has a pole. I have a poem. You good,
precisely good, Nelly rude set on a tech, Nellie rude,
Nellie road sill and never by. Next we have a woman. Next,
you have a woman so fat when she walks along
Lower Broadway, people throw ticker tape out the window. They
think it's a parade. A woman, a woman who, when
he visits you can stay longer and a half hour
than Nuney Walls anyone else can stay in the week.
Here she is the pin up girl of Lower Basin Street.
Miss Lowe O'Connor. You know I got a dune thing
this morning. I know you woke up. I am I
am a sad.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but in my hurry and get my own Manny's
backnast I gave him a bottle of self flake instead
of corn flink.
Speaker 1: So yes, so I put milk on them and aathm
was he mad when he tases the man. He was
frozzing at the mouth, see what you mean. Next, we
have a man who was so ANEI cloking. If he
ever fell asleep in the tuck seed a suit, they'd
bury him. A man, a man of when he a
man of when he was a kid. His mother had
to buy him back from the dogcatchers three times. Here
he is the flower of his family. That broom and
idiot mister George ou now you know, mister hard, I'm
having a little trouble of my Landlady over at the
bourton is say he was the trouble. Well, you know,
the short and help and everything. I've been kind of
helping around the place a bit by night. But you
can't please the old dame. Everything I do is wrong.
I see she bore me on yesterday we're not changing
the water and the goldfish go cool. I see why
didn't you change it? They hadn't drank the water. I
put him there yesterday. Well, we are posts now on.
We guarantee nothing. Now here's the first question, Howard.
Speaker 2: Yes, mister Howard, we have a visitor tonight, and here
he is at this thing where composer on music commentator
mister Deans Taylor.
Speaker 1: Oh, well, this really is a surprise, mister Demes Taylor,
at least for getting intelligent people on this program. How
do you do, mister Taylor? This is indeed a honnor.
Why thank you, mister Horn. Let me introduce you to
the experts, mister Taylor. Allow me to introduce you to
mister Iron mcnonty.
Speaker 4: How do you do, mister McNaul Oh, I've.
Speaker 1: Never met mister Demes, but it's a pleasure to meet
his Taylor. Miss mccattan, This is not mister deesus Taylor,
or why didn't you say it once? Paul? Why do
you have to lie like that? I didn't say. I
didn't say it was mister Deanes's Taylor. Certainly did you
send an inner? You said it? I quote, are you
mister McNaught to meet mister Deans Taylor? I know I did.
What I didn't say was mister Deans and Taylor? Are
you feeling well?
Speaker 5: Mister hard I.
Speaker 1: Said this was mister Demes Taylor, not the tailor of
mister need Well. He's the tailor of mister Deames. He
must be mister Deames Taylor, I say, I say, tell me,
oh boy, how much do you talk to piss? A
shoots out? I didn't quite catch your knee. I didn't
thraw it. He didn't throw And very good, mister Taylor.
Speaker 3: Whoever's Taylor you are, I'm miss McConnell and I'm fasty, praying, footloose.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the rest the rest of you could stand tighty
not to Please, let's get started with the questions. As
you know, mister Taylor, this is a quiz program. We
have questions which we broke at the experts.
Speaker 4: Well, whatever you throw at them, remember, please and I'm
sitting between them.
Speaker 1: I remember that. Here's the question our studio play on.
A player will play the course of a very popular
song of other years. You are to tell me the
name of the Indian maiden the song is about filewa.
I am yeah, I haven't heard the song yet. Show
you how quick I am, boy, boy, I get the
answers before I hit the question hardy fans, can we
hear the song? Please? What do you think of it?
Mister Taylor?
Speaker 4: You mean the question of the music?
Speaker 1: Oh, I mean would you know the name of the
Indian girl in the song?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 4: Of course, from where I said, the answer is obvious.
Speaker 1: I've never heard of an Indian girl named obvious. What
tribe did she belong to? Never mind?
Speaker 3: No, miss how I used to play that on the
piano when I was a little girl.
Speaker 1: They didn't have pianas when you were a little girl.
That was beautiful and I really did like the way
you played it. How would you say he played it,
mister Taylor?
Speaker 4: Well, the melodic line was brought into relief by the
use of a tremolo in the right hand and a
thermata or hold, and both of these devices were used
in brought the good taste further to enhance the beauty
of the main theme.
Speaker 1: I see.
Speaker 4: The harmonic structure was indicated by the use of the
off pedo in the base or left hand, commonly known
as the albaty bass.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, on.
Speaker 4: The whole looking for a sound musician the interpretation of
the open.
Speaker 1: Miss McConnell, thank you, Mintioned Taylor. Miss peconne, you said
you played that song on the piano.
Speaker 4: You can play that you play the piano.
Speaker 1: Miss mcconne, sure, I've played the piano with my feet.
Speaker 4: With your feet, what do you do with your hands?
Speaker 1: Oh? My nose? I hate music, you know, you know
I can never get any music out of our piano.
So I chopped it up for firewood. You can't get
usual kind of a by chopping it up for firewood. No,
I got a few calls out of it. You got
a I made a couple of bucks. Never mind, how
we gonna answer the question. Look, I'll give you an answer.
Name of the number that was played was pretty red wing? Now,
then what was the name of the Indian girl that
the song was? Abow iowatch? Thank you?
Speaker 5: That was not you know the kind of.
Speaker 1: Makes you want to leave early August, which is living
proof that people are still free to do as a
plays in this country. Well, let's get along here. We
have in sight of two members of the studio audience
up here on the state. They can ask the exploits
of question. If they get an intelligent answer, we give
them twenty pounds of butter if they If they don't,
we give them the paper out of Sheldon's shoe. Who
was our first? Who was our first? Contested, mister roberts.
Speaker 2: Well down our first yesternight is Corporal's Downy Goodman of
the United States Field Artillery.
Speaker 1: I need to do a Cardinal Goodman, and welcome to
our program. It's a pleasure to drive you here. Where
is your hometown? Would you care to tell it? My
hometown is Providence, Rhode Island. Providence, Rhode Island, I mean
night now, Providence, Rhode Island. Well, put a put a
bridal gun on me and call me snowflake, I said,
why are used to working that town? Peter? You know
very comically, Corporal Goodman, I was in the Lost Warrior.
I'm a spy. You're a fine didn't they shoes you?
I don't know how to sinefolded. You are blind. Just
ignore him, a corporal goodman. I noticed by your ribbons
there you've seen play of action. Where have you been
in the Pacific? I've been in So Pacific. You've been
in Water Canal?
Speaker 5: You're y, so you were?
Speaker 3: I saw that picture body Canal when I never saw.
Speaker 1: Him in If you've can help us out here, if
you will, cor for what you read into.
Speaker 5: The dunecap that for got a question for us?
Speaker 1: Please? And would you be good enough to read the
questions as soon as you get it, just read it
right into the microphone, if you will, please.
Speaker 4: How many notes are there in the musical scale?
Speaker 1: Now, that's very good. How many notes are there in
the musical scale? This? We should get a lot of
help on this from mister Taylor. Mister Tanyler, could you
tell us the notes in the musical scale?
Speaker 4: Well, the first notee dough. The second is Ray.
Speaker 1: That's my wish name, you know Ray.
Speaker 4: Well that would be easy to remember.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, Ray, she's always asking me for doe. The
the third note is me. The third notice you? What's
that I said? The third notice you? The third note
is not you? I know it's not as you the
third notee me third notice me. Isn't that what mister
Shelton said? No, he said it was you. The third
note is me? What then, what you're saying was you for?
I never said it was you. I didn't say you
did you said it was you?
Speaker 4: I said the note was met the tailor, I ain't
just about you said it was me.
Speaker 1: Well that's right, don't you see? It's the boss of it.
It's not both of them. Who is it? Lessen your
three milon ads? Guys, you understand what mister.
Speaker 5: Taylor is saying.
Speaker 1: But what I'm an interpreter a way of that? The
name of the third notice me mister Howard is right.
Oh I get it. It's mister Howard. No, it's not
mister Howard. It's me. Well, someone hit me in the
face with a wet dish rag an that wouldn't improve
it any Why are you tear out the argument? And
mister Taylor says a notice him? He ought to know?
All right, I don't care who is saloons It ain't me.
But that's right, mister Shatham. It's funny. It's me.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, tell her?
Speaker 1: How can you be so deceitful? You say with me.
I know I did. Yes, you understand the name of
the third note is me. Everybody watched to get into
the air. Gentlemen, gentlemen.
Speaker 4: The names of the notes are don't ray me, Foss,
don't La Steed, do.
Speaker 1: Go on top and doe on the bottom. Oh, just
like a pie? Yes, all right, just like a pie?
What comes in between? Brune draws. Don't let it out?
He said, Do dot get that inty or not? Do
I got it? Do not? Do not? I thank you
a lot carp for me. Now, can we have a
number from Nat Noviac and his diving jerks. Listen, listen
and get sick with Natnovac.
Speaker 5: This is gonna be good.
Speaker 1: It's beautiful, though lovely. I have my brush and tail.
I think beautiful. What if what they think? Ay? It
sends me? Yeah, I wish you would leave you La.
They think it's beautiful tail. I go over with abandons,
play William, Ladies and jump.
Speaker 6: There are I'm playing Richmond in the fight right.
Speaker 1: There they go the only land the country that plays.
I'm taking the date O. Thank you doctor Novik for finishing.
When the pipe piper chased the ass out of Hamlin,
he really had not Novik's Orgestra with him if you
want the back. But mister Taylor, all getting aside you
being an authority on music, what do you think of
mister Novik's August Do I have to answer that? Well?
Why why, mister Taylor? Mister Newbik's Augustra is an institution.
That's where it belongs. That I agree with you clearly there,
mister Dana, Well let's get on. How about our next
confessed mister Roberts.
Speaker 2: Well, here she is that as bright as a dollar,
mister Hardyman, second class Shirley Coleman out of the United States, Wade,
how do you do, miss Coleman?
Speaker 1: This is indeed a pleasure. We're very glad to have
you with us. I might say you look charming, You
really do already? Yes, indeed she does look very charming,
mister hard Okay, you know it's girls like her that
make me like girls like her that will do. Miss mcglot.
Where is your hometown, Miss Coleman? Would you care to
tell us? We just love to know, Cad Cambridge Magic.
That's very nice. You know what's hard This Colma must
have been a very beautiful baby. I'm nice as you
are hey. You know me how speaking about babies? Who
is the cutest baby over our boarding house the other day?
And the other day her mother let me hold herround
my lap, then I put her on the skin else
and waiter? How much get you weigh? Ninety seven pounds?
We didn't get home at two o'clock the morning. How long?
How long have you been in the service? Mischool?
Speaker 2: Twenty months?
Speaker 1: Twenty months? Well, congratulations, I suppose you find your work very.
Speaker 4: Interesting, Yes, sir, I do.
Speaker 1: Are you married? Yes, sir, you're married. Well. I was
going to ask you another question, but let's forget it.
You know, there's hard I was. I could join the
Wax and the Waves or something you wish. Yeah, I
did join the rotary club. You joined the rotary club,
Miss macown, the rotary clubber all from men, from men,
that's why I joy's why that before. We're very glad
to have you with us. What did you do before
you went into service? I went to school, sir. Oh,
you went to school Camry, Oh, sir, Boston Owen, Boston
and okay, well I deemed to Boston too, ye know,
though you're camd in Boshington too. You please don't good. First,
you want to know you were with me because I tried,
I got out of the camp. I might have you
meet mister Taylor, Miss uh Coleman. This is mister Deans Taylor,
Miss cold.
Speaker 4: How do you do, Miss Coleman. It's really a very
great pleasure to geezy gez.
Speaker 1: We met that you promised making me after the program.
I never promised to wait for you after the program.
Don't you need to be a good idea? Well you
cut it out, please God, pay no attention of missus Coleman.
We're gonna beat for any minute now, were you would
you do as a favorite while you're here, would you
kindly reach into the dunge cap there and you got
a question for us? And when you get a holder questions,
would you kindly read it into the microphone? Yes?
Speaker 4: What kind of wood was in the old oakan bucket?
Speaker 1: That's very good the place there is one kind of
wood was in the old oakan? Baman? What kind of wood?
In other words, was the buckets made out of? Is
that the old oak com bucket that hung in the well.
That's right, that's the question. Oh, it's a deep one.
Is a deep one, mister hand The old com bucket
is a quart tet? Sharp say, look, he's an idea.
Let you and I sing a quart test You and I? Yeah, well,
wait a minute, two people can't sing a court test. Well,
lot of perfectly willing to help over. I don't forget.
I have a voice, yeah for haunt calling. Oh yeah,
well in my voice, I can go to the Metropolitan
there with your voice you need inshorts. All right, let's
agree with mister Sheldon for once, for once in our lives,
if it will help to get the answer to the question,
we'll sing the old oaken bucket. Liza Taylor, you can
help us out here. If you will, we might as
well do this thing Rightlza Taylor, will you announce the quartet?
Speaker 4: Certainly, mister Horn. Ladies and gentlemen, it is my great
pleasure to bring to you at this time the Metropolitan.
Speaker 1: Court Tet, four brilliant voices who.
Speaker 4: Have just finished the most successful engagement the six months
in the observation ward the Metropolitan Context of Howard, Shelton, mclausin,
and McConnell.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Cord. Please, I want to get in the
pocket locket bucket. Fuck it, wait a matter, there's nothing
wrong here. What's the matter. Nobody's using an extra bucket?
What was that you miss, McConnell, not me. I'm using
the same bucket as you are. Let me tell you something.
Let's get this straight. There's only one bucket that saw
you understand that worker and we all use the same bucket.
I'll get that line every crowded. You know what the mine?
Now let's start over again. Cord cleanse.
Speaker 5: The locket bucket, Oh, sir, I shot the cot he.
Speaker 1: Was sour, Ladies and Gentlemen, Special announcement.
Speaker 4: Due to an unavoidable accident, the Metropolitan Quartet will.
Speaker 1: Be unable to appear. Instead, we bring you're the Cosmopolophan
Trio in bucket de locket bucket.
Speaker 5: Oh, I shot jelldon He was not only sour, he
was Romanci Ladies.
Speaker 4: Ladies and Gentlemen, Special announcement. Due to a severe case
of blood poisoning of one of the members, the Cosmopolitan
Trio will be unable to appear. Instead, we shall hear
from the Canal Street duo. Uh, it's Howard and Kirsten McConnell.
Speaker 1: The don't in the bucket, Theron Town bucket, Love lobarn
bucket oh, well, she was a good old bucket, but
she went to the.
Speaker 4: Ladies and Gentlemen special announcement due to the fact that
Miss Kirsten mcconnald broke her bucket. We go now here
from that international favorite, the original voice of the turtle,
mister Tom Howard, Oh, don't gin.
Speaker 1: Uget theron bound buckets sit out. They got me, They
got me, They got me right in the middle of
the bucket. The I do not call it that one
is really hot if we put the dummies back in
the box. I really do want to thank mister Demes
Taylor for being with us tonight. Denn a marvelous job
and was very very nice of him to come up
here and pay us a visit. And I'd like to
say to your listeners, try and be with us again
next week when our special guests will be mister Rolling Young.
Would you say, mister Howard, what you think I said?
Rolling Young? The movie actor? How old is he?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Rolling is not old? No young, he's young. Okay, Okay, now, yes,
if my sirl in that picture, Claudia, oh to know
mister Shulton, No, that was his son, Robert Young O love.
He ain't bad either.
Speaker 3: No, no, mister Howes you know rolling young is Look
I don't know, Wellerigo matter ready, you don't make any
difference anyway.
Speaker 1: No, as long as he wears pam, I thought you
wear the pant. He does wear pants. The last time
I saw him on Broadway had him on. I see
we depleted. Well, let us hope you'll have pants go
on next Friday night. This is the Armed Forces Radio
seven b it hay. You know it's just like me.
Each week I earned six dollars. My brain is terribly like.
Speaker 4: But when there ain't no income.
Speaker 1: Why then there ain't no income taxt so you see
it
Speaker 2: To ignorant, I have no brain, being a just