Speaker 1: You just said that you hadn't had a drink in forever,
Speaker 1: and now you were saying, yeah, I had a drink
Speaker 1: of jazz. Well, well, what are you talking about? I
Speaker 1: had a drink of jazz. But it's two weeks ago.
Speaker 1: Of course I did.
Speaker 2: Lala lala, lala, lala lala. Andy asked, when was the
Speaker 2: last time I had a drink? Well, filming? Okay, right,
Speaker 2: all right, that was eight months ago.
Speaker 3: All right, hello, hello, hello, hello, Hey, we try this.
Speaker 1: Have you heard of this? Alani? I feel like Zach
Speaker 1: right now drinking this piss but I'm so tired. Have
Speaker 1: you heard of this? This drink?
Speaker 2: Is there alcohol in it?
Speaker 1: No, it's an energy drink. It has two hundred milligrams
Speaker 1: of caffeine in it, and I think, oh, what was that?
Speaker 2: You can there's a lot of sugar in there.
Speaker 1: No, I don't. I think it has twenty calories or something.
Speaker 1: They found a rat inside one of the cans. There
Speaker 1: was a rat in the can, and I'm convinced that
Speaker 1: this was the way to market the drink. You know, no,
Speaker 1: no news is bad news or something like that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what do they say is that the saying.
Speaker 2: No news is bad news?
Speaker 1: Wait?
Speaker 2: But bad news is.
Speaker 1: Good good news. So anyways, so and getting the comments,
Speaker 1: let us know if you've heard of it. But this
Speaker 1: there's a rat in one of these cans, and it
Speaker 1: went absolutely viral. Nobody had ever heard of this thing.
Speaker 1: And then the rat gets in the can. Everybody hears
Speaker 1: about it, and then and then they go, oh, that's
Speaker 1: just a mistake. We usually don't have rats in the cans.
Speaker 1: And now look fast forward a couple months and I'm
Speaker 1: drinking Me and Patty are drinking it again. In the comments,
Speaker 1: let us know if you've had a Lonnie, how was it?
Speaker 1: It's different? Ugh, oh my god, it's a lacquered kind.
Speaker 2: Of Let me tell you something. There's reasons why products
Speaker 2: have longevity.
Speaker 1: You know, who drink that? Who's the Goldness? This is
Speaker 1: like a GOLDNESSA drinks this before the gym.
Speaker 2: I don't know who that is.
Speaker 1: Well, and that's Off Shawls Off Sunseid. No, don't know
Speaker 1: what are you talking about.
Speaker 2: I didn't know that was her full name.
Speaker 1: Guys, we're here to break down the third part of
Speaker 1: the Valley Reunion. If you were confused about what we
Speaker 1: were going to be talking.
Speaker 2: I watched the extended version on Peacock by.
Speaker 1: The way, me too, Me too, me too? We should
Speaker 1: say the Double Lives of Suburban Wives is that Patreon
Speaker 1: dot compslation other podcast Now we're coming to Patreon as
Speaker 1: well as Salt Lake City and the Traders is right
Speaker 1: around the corner, Normy version. We've got Filt, the yucky
Speaker 1: Normies competing for a billion dollars, and so go to Patreon,
Speaker 1: donate a little or a little bit more. That's the
Speaker 1: best place you can do that help the show.
Speaker 2: We need it, we do, and the Fall is going
Speaker 2: to be Fall twenty twenty six is gearing up to
Speaker 2: be a fun recap season.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be a great network Also we need to
Speaker 1: do I got a wicked Lucy drop coming to Patreon.
Speaker 1: We need some some Quintin and Ellie drops too. Sure.
Speaker 2: Ellie's at Disneyland today, living out my childhood fantasies.
Speaker 1: One hundred and four degrees at Disneyland.
Speaker 2: It's probably a little warmer down in Anaheim. It's closer to.
Speaker 1: The water, one hundred and a warmer.
Speaker 2: No, I'm saying it's probably a little cooler down there.
Speaker 1: Okay, So we've got to give our schniefs our tits
Speaker 1: and our pots. And I'm gonna go ahead and throw
Speaker 1: to you for your schnaves, hits and pots.
Speaker 2: First, a jab at Swartz. My wife apparently has not
Speaker 2: been following the valley. She looked at Swartz this week
Speaker 2: on television. She said, when did he get so fat?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 2: Second piece of business?
Speaker 1: That was the first piece of business.
Speaker 2: I forgot I had for I had that would log
Speaker 2: that in as a thought.
Speaker 1: First piece of business?
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, second piece of business, yeah, should have been
Speaker 2: the first. Is I believe Jacks lives on the same
Speaker 2: street that I live on? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: There has been three sightings this week of Jack's. He
Speaker 2: has that stupid golf cart. He's driving that stupid golf cart.
Speaker 1: And when he's not driving the golf cart, he's crawling
Speaker 1: around on all fours actually like some kind of hybrid
Speaker 1: human monster who's filled with cocaine.
Speaker 2: Yes, I was, so, let me explain who lives on
Speaker 2: my street new families and fucking old people. Who doesn't
Speaker 2: live on my street is middle aged coke addicts and
Speaker 2: who are dating younger people or hanging out with young people.
Speaker 1: There has throws off the vibe.
Speaker 2: Oh, there has been multiple sightings of people in their
Speaker 2: early thirties that are good looking on my street. That
Speaker 2: is that just sticks out.
Speaker 1: This is this is what this this kind of zip
Speaker 1: code is. It's it's sccessful new families. So so people
Speaker 1: are having they just had a baby, they're they're they're
Speaker 1: you know, they're maybe thinking about another one. They need
Speaker 1: to get a bigger, bigger space, and so they're just
Speaker 1: kind of like starting their future. Now it's all going
Speaker 1: to go miserably wrong, but but but they're starting it.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of hope. The other side of that
Speaker 1: are just these dying boomers who will not let go
Speaker 1: of their property. They need the four rooms, they can't
Speaker 1: clean the four rooms, but they work there. Okay, so
Speaker 1: they're going to let their home just die with them. Okay.
Speaker 1: That's what's that's the gamut of this neighborhood.
Speaker 2: Every once in a while you see the the aging
Speaker 2: children of the old fox.
Speaker 1: And they want their parents to die. It's a big thing.
Speaker 2: So they can sell sell property right.
Speaker 1: Right, But they're putting liquidation clauses in the will that
Speaker 1: they don't know about, and those children will want to
Speaker 1: revive their parents that they can kill them again. It's
Speaker 1: it's very it's all sad.
Speaker 2: Anyway, Jacks lives here. Maybe one day when I drive
Speaker 2: by him when he's on that stupid white golf cart,
Speaker 2: I will ask him if he'll come on the show. Okay,
Speaker 2: what did you ask me to do?
Speaker 1: Give your schneeps?
Speaker 2: Oh that's right, Okay. I didn't like this part that much. Okay,
Speaker 2: it seemed like we were just kind of on the
Speaker 2: fumes of the first two parts. We were back going
Speaker 2: after Danny and don't get me wrong, he deserves it,
Speaker 2: and we were kind of just tying up. I guess
Speaker 2: some loose ends. Jason was talking a bit, but not
Speaker 2: really saying anything. We finally got to some trauma that
Speaker 2: Janet shared, which was really sad and oh and then
Speaker 2: we didn't really get into what took place at Jasmine
Speaker 2: and Melissa's wedding. It was still still confusing to me
Speaker 2: what Danny did there or didn't do.
Speaker 1: I'll break it down for you please. He was watching FIFA. Okay,
Speaker 1: I was watching FIFA.
Speaker 2: So he didn't take his shirt off at the wedding
Speaker 2: and start dancing drunk.
Speaker 1: Because that was it was a he was in a
Speaker 1: heightened state, okay, and drink every time you hear Nia
Speaker 1: say heightened state, Okay, you'll be blacked.
Speaker 2: I want to say this about Lacey. A lot of
Speaker 2: mediator Lacey, a lot of self controlled Lacey goes.
Speaker 1: A long way.
Speaker 2: There's a point where I wanted her to shut up
Speaker 2: and let the idiot's fighting right exactly, Lacey, You've done
Speaker 2: a great job. America likes you.
Speaker 1: We need no back off, We need no cogency here.
Speaker 1: We don't need to bring anything down. We don't need
Speaker 1: to hear one another. We need to entertain the masses.
Speaker 1: We're not doing it with your fucking even tempered approach
Speaker 1: to things. Okay, we don't need that here.
Speaker 2: We need less of that. Yeah, okay, uh La, La,
Speaker 2: While you make a lot of good points and a
Speaker 2: lot of sense here if you really think about it.
Speaker 2: I don't understand what axe you have to grind for Danny.
Speaker 2: I understand he's drunk, but what did he do to you?
Speaker 1: These are your sneaves?
Speaker 2: Okay? Initially, I'll remind the audience Laala was an ally
Speaker 2: t Nia. She was defending Nea because Danny, that's how
Speaker 2: he got on her radar, was being verbally abusive to Nia,
Speaker 2: and Lala's like You're not going to talk to her
Speaker 2: that way. And then fast forward two episodes later, it's hey, Nia,
Speaker 2: why are you protecting this fucking drunk? Now I'm going
Speaker 2: after you. And then it's well, Laala, now you're going
Speaker 2: after her. But maybe she's a broken woman because she's defending.
Speaker 1: Can I ask you something, how many sneves do you
Speaker 1: give this episode?
Speaker 2: Zero? I hated it?
Speaker 1: Oh no, not zero.
Speaker 2: Actually I'm more mad at my DVR because it didn't
Speaker 2: record it on the night it aired and I had
Speaker 2: to watch it in the morning on PA the elongated.
Speaker 1: Version of it.
Speaker 2: That's always tough ouch zero schneeves. The question for me
Speaker 2: is who's coming back? Who's not going to be asked
Speaker 2: back it. As I watched this reunion, which was filmed
Speaker 2: just a month ago, it occurred to me that Danny
Speaker 2: and Nia don't think they're going anywhere. And it's not
Speaker 2: because they don't want to go anywhere. It's because they
Speaker 2: have no other options. Danny wants redemption and they need
Speaker 2: a paycheck.
Speaker 1: This is so fucking frustrating. My notes My notes have
Speaker 1: disappeared in just the Google God damn it. It's so annoying.
Speaker 1: I hate that.
Speaker 2: Let me know if you need me to fillibus Yeah,
Speaker 2: go filibuster. Okay, so you'd have to ask yourself. All right, Obviously,
Speaker 2: Lala is going to come back. She earned her paycheck.
Speaker 2: She really was the one who kind of kind of
Speaker 2: kept the the conversations going this season. Zach appears to
Speaker 2: be a fan favorite for some reason. I don't know
Speaker 2: if Benji should be allowed back on the show. I
Speaker 2: think you should probably dump him in between seasons because
Speaker 2: you know, they're gonna have to pick up cameras in
Speaker 2: a couple of weeks, so we're gonna start getting the
Speaker 2: I guess the who's returning as a cast member updates
Speaker 2: in the next couple of weeks, And a lot of
Speaker 2: people don't want Danny and Nia back. But I kind
Speaker 2: of feel like their story's not done.
Speaker 1: They're one hundred percent coming back. They have nothing else
Speaker 1: that they can do. They will be back.
Speaker 2: Does Jacks come back?
Speaker 1: I hope, So, I really really hope. So give me
Speaker 1: one second.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, then while we're on this topic, then does
Speaker 2: Jasmine come back?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: You don't think I think she has to come back.
Speaker 1: God, I hope she does not come back.
Speaker 2: Well, but the problem is there's only so much room.
Speaker 2: I mean, the castes are already really big. So then
Speaker 2: you go like, are you just do you just add?
Speaker 2: Do you keep adding?
Speaker 1: All right? I the notes are gone. We're gonna have
Speaker 1: to go from memory tonight. That's completely fine. Listen, you
Speaker 1: give it zero snaefs, I'm gonna give it seventy eight snaves.
Speaker 2: Seventy eight nieves. Okay, Well, then I'll guide us through
Speaker 2: this and then you just pick.
Speaker 1: Up from your recollection. Now, let me say off the top,
Speaker 1: I think that Kristen's indignation with the libel that's being
Speaker 1: thrown and targeted at Danny and Nia is maybe worse
Speaker 1: than Danny and Nia. Kristin is so fucking annoying with
Speaker 1: this shit. Why make it make sense? There is? You
Speaker 1: ask why La La has an extra grind with Danny,
Speaker 1: and it's because Lala is the only one on stage
Speaker 1: with two brain cells to rub together. She is far
Speaker 1: and away, just tears above the rest of this cast
Speaker 1: in terms of just raw intelligence. Okay, So she's looking
Speaker 1: at the amateur gas lighting on display from Danny and
Speaker 1: Nea and she's going, well, this actually isn't working on me,
Speaker 1: and just for America, I see what you're seeing too,
Speaker 1: and I'm going to address it. Laala is seeing time
Speaker 1: and time again. There's two wrinkles to this one. Lalla
Speaker 1: is not going to let Danny and na play victim,
Speaker 1: so she's just trying to pierce that veil that they're
Speaker 1: trying to sell. Secondly, I think that there is a
Speaker 1: little bit of truth coming from someone who's worked the
Speaker 1: program seeing just the clearest markings of somebody dealing with
Speaker 1: serious addiction and we're not going to Who knows, there's
Speaker 1: different ways. It's ginn a cap but the faith counselor
Speaker 1: the life coach approach to this.
Speaker 4: You know, maybe it'll work, maybe it won't work.
Speaker 1: Who knows. But I give the episode seventy eight Snaeves,
Speaker 1: and I think that we pick up where we last
Speaker 1: left off with what happened at this wedding.
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And.
Speaker 2: The most interesting part of the conversation I found was
Speaker 2: that Danny and Jesse, apparently before the season started, had
Speaker 2: like a gentleman's handshake, going like, hey, look, this is
Speaker 2: a TV agreement. If one of us starts acting like
Speaker 2: a fucking douchebag in Jesse's case, I start you know,
Speaker 2: being mean to Michelle.
Speaker 1: Call my wife a discount horror something like that.
Speaker 2: Pull me out of there, you know, like, get me
Speaker 2: out of there, and then I'll do the same for
Speaker 2: you when you start drinking too much as you're apt
Speaker 2: to do well.
Speaker 1: Last episode we ended with Andy going, you know, woman's
Speaker 1: last drink you had, and Danny said, I haven't drank
Speaker 1: anything in like eight months or something like that, and
Speaker 1: then we picked this episode up and they go, did
Speaker 1: you drink a jan It's wedding or Adjassment's wedding? Goes, yeah,
Speaker 1: I drank Adjustments wedding. Okay, Well, so there there's the
Speaker 1: problem here, right. So so the the confusion as to
Speaker 1: the line of questioning something that La La is like
Speaker 1: seeing We're going, uh, okay, but for one second, you tiny, tiny,
Speaker 1: little tan person. You just said that you hadn't had
Speaker 1: a drink in forever, and now you were saying, yeah,
Speaker 1: I had a drink a Jazz. Well, Well, what are you
Speaker 1: talking about. I had a drink Adjustments two weeks ago.
Speaker 1: Of course I did wedding.
Speaker 2: Lala Lala, Lala, Lala lala. Andy asked, when was the
Speaker 2: last time I had a drink? Well, filming, Okay, right,
Speaker 2: all right, and that was eight months ago, all right, yeah,
Speaker 2: all right, listen to Andy, all right.
Speaker 1: So so then we get to this point where Nia Nia.
Speaker 1: Lala has to jump in on Nia too, because Nia
Speaker 1: just very clearly it's not even subt it's just what's happening.
Speaker 4: Nia has to tell Jesse and.
Speaker 1: Zach and Zach fucking rambles off a blockheaded recollection of
Speaker 1: the night too, to not encourage her little tan husband
Speaker 1: to go to an after party because he's very clearly
Speaker 1: already so shitfaced that he needs to go to sleep. Now,
Speaker 1: what clearly happened is we had a toddler like flipout
Speaker 1: from Danny at the end of the wedding. He had
Speaker 1: already reached a climactic annoying level and refused to go
Speaker 1: back with Nia. So they parted ways and Danny found
Speaker 1: himself drunk at a bar alone. We've seen this before.
Speaker 2: He's talking to a bartender. Now you believe this, I'm
Speaker 2: alone on my birthday, on me another one?
Speaker 1: Come on, I don't know, uh my god, he is
Speaker 1: so drunk. But Lala has to just go. We're all
Speaker 1: seeing it. Nia, your running interference for your husband. You're
Speaker 1: telling his friends that they can't bring him to an afterparty.
Speaker 1: You're married to an alcoholic? Why am I taking fucking
Speaker 1: crazy pills? Okay, so that's what happens.
Speaker 2: I think this is where Lala gets out of line,
Speaker 2: and this is probably my problem with her. You say
Speaker 2: it once or twice and then you back off. You've
Speaker 2: been on record saying this. Her beating it over and
Speaker 2: over just seems like overkilled to me. I don't know,
Speaker 2: Maybe it's just me. And then going on watch What
Speaker 2: Happens Live and saying she should divorce him. I mean
Speaker 2: someone that you love, that you have kids with, and
Speaker 2: if you are truly religious and you take those vows.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: A lot of people are fucking atheists.
Speaker 1: These days, and that means nothing, nothing, nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 2: Sure, it's just that you don't just leave someone that
Speaker 2: is down and has a problem like that.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, divorced.
Speaker 2: Maybe that's Lalla's world.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, you you should not just immediately divorce somebody
Speaker 1: with substance issues because they are struggling with substance issues.
Speaker 1: But we move on to what after this? I think
Speaker 1: get more Jesse and Michelle. So can we be done
Speaker 1: with the Jesse? We've we've litigated this to the cows.
Speaker 1: Come home enough we have.
Speaker 2: Lacey says something interesting to Danny which is actually not
Speaker 2: that interesting, which is she just says what everyone probably
Speaker 2: has said I've been screaming to the rafters, which is, hey,
Speaker 2: this would go a long way, Danny if you just
Speaker 2: basically took ownership and said, hey, I make you guys
Speaker 2: feel uncomfortable. I'm sorry about that, and as a result
Speaker 2: of that, I am not going to drink around you
Speaker 2: guys in a group setting. And we'll get to him
Speaker 2: later on when he says life coaches working with pastors
Speaker 2: about his drinking, and then Andy follows up, well, is
Speaker 2: there anything that you're upset that people have accused you
Speaker 2: of him? And he's like yeah, fuck yeah, he's saying
Speaker 2: I drink too much?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, fuck him. This is a rare thing. Andy,
Speaker 1: all right, where do we go next?
Speaker 2: Let's see a lot of people really dislike him for
Speaker 2: trying to mask this as I know that you're on
Speaker 2: this show and you options so limited. Is supposed to.
Speaker 1: Do okay, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: Danny brings up that Jason had apologized to him off
Speaker 2: camera in santye.
Speaker 1: I remember this, I love this part of the Okay,
Speaker 1: So as.
Speaker 2: Much as I hate Jason, I do believe this totally happened.
Speaker 2: And Jason actually admitted this. He was going to apologize
Speaker 2: to him on camera, and then we saw what Danny
Speaker 2: turned into, which was telling the poor waitress at that credit, there's.
Speaker 4: An appetizer over here. At this they're supposed to be
Speaker 4: guawk on this side.
Speaker 1: Of the table. Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Danny is also a guy that you wish never gets
Speaker 2: reality TV notoriety, for sure, because he'd wanted to be
Speaker 2: a famous actors entire life. I guess he had some
Speaker 2: success as a kid or something, but no one really
Speaker 2: remembers those people, and he's little. And then now he's
Speaker 2: forty two or whatever and people probably recognize him, and
Speaker 2: he's drunk and he likes it, and so he feels
Speaker 2: like he's Beyonce.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, he's at.
Speaker 2: The Shaky Crabshack in San Diego for sure.
Speaker 1: Yeah. No, We've really turned the burners up on his ego,
Speaker 1: and I'm grateful for it. It's good TV. Jason and
Speaker 1: Danny having a conversation about how they're going to do
Speaker 1: something on film and then discussing that that conversation was
Speaker 1: had with no acknowledgment of how fucking pathetic these two
Speaker 1: men are. It's just it shows you that they're they're
Speaker 1: both so in, they're so in the world that they're
Speaker 1: going to just come clean about a preordained apology on
Speaker 1: camera without any acknowledgment of how odd that is, how
Speaker 1: cook that is, and how as I said, pathetic that is.
Speaker 1: Now we find out that the apology never lands, it
Speaker 1: never takes off because of Danny's You know, Jason can't
Speaker 1: apologize to a drunk that they've kind of crucified for
Speaker 1: being an inappropriate drunk when he's being an inappropriate drunk.
Speaker 1: That doesn't feel synergestic, by the way.
Speaker 2: I would have loved to see that scene play out
Speaker 2: with Danny in the state he was Danny, tell Danny,
Speaker 2: it's Jason. Hey who are you?
Speaker 1: Can I tell you? And I say it all the time,
Speaker 1: You're you're one of the worst improvisers of all time.
Speaker 2: Sorry.
Speaker 1: So so curtain came up right and I was saying
Speaker 1: hey Danny, So so in that moment you would know
Speaker 1: that you were Danny. And then you go after I
Speaker 1: said hey Danny, you said hey, hey Danny, and so
Speaker 1: then you took so it's just it's crazy. I'm sorry, right, no, no, no
Speaker 1: scene end. Oh no, I'm not doing this scene anymore.
Speaker 1: So sorry, Where do we go next?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: This is what Andy says, all right, as why don't
Speaker 2: you why you are you still drinking? If you are
Speaker 2: such an asshole on camera?
Speaker 1: It's this amazing thing where Danny and this is where
Speaker 1: La La has to just go, what the fuck are
Speaker 1: we talking about? Because Mema is certainly not going to
Speaker 1: do it. If Jasmine tries to do it, she's gonna
Speaker 1: fucking you know. Jasmine pulls grenade pins and then charges
Speaker 1: forward and then trips and drops the grenade almost every
Speaker 1: time she needs to address something, so she can't do it. Short,
Speaker 1: it's not gonna do it. Everyone else has allied to them.
Speaker 1: It's fucking crazy. So Lla has to do this. But
Speaker 1: Andy steps in here and pierces his lies a little bit,
Speaker 1: because Danny goes, this is a very rare thing, and
Speaker 1: Andy goes, it seems like it's a semi consistent thing actually,
Speaker 1: which is not the exact opposite of rare. But it's
Speaker 1: also I'm being generous when I say semi consistent, and
Speaker 1: I should say it happens every time you drink, so
Speaker 1: that actually is the exact opposite of rare. So maybe
Speaker 1: you should just shouldn't drink on camera because you're such
Speaker 1: a tan little embarrassment.
Speaker 2: And then I like how Andy goes out. But in
Speaker 2: the end, do you feel like you're being what's the
Speaker 2: thing you feel most judged about? And then we touched
Speaker 2: on this my drinking man, and then Danny flips and
Speaker 2: he goes, hey, man, I'm just gonna say this. Jack's
Speaker 2: been coercing the entire cast o. God, I know it
Speaker 2: for a fact. He got in there. He's been out
Speaker 2: to destroy me since season two. It's like everyone's like,
Speaker 2: all right, are you fucking kidding me? This is worse
Speaker 2: than Disclosure Day?
Speaker 1: This script right exactly, And Disclosure Day was so bad.
Speaker 1: Now this is where you're you know, and we've known
Speaker 1: for some time. I think that you've you've been a
Speaker 1: little soft on Danny because somebody needs to be soft
Speaker 1: on Danny, right, I mean, he's a dad, he's he's
Speaker 1: getting a little drunk every once in a while. It's
Speaker 1: not the end of the world.
Speaker 2: Well, hold on, sometimes it's not that Jack's was the
Speaker 2: architect of this. It's sometimes cast members see blood in
Speaker 2: the water and they're like, oh, it's easy to pile
Speaker 2: on someone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure. But then but but that softens the
Speaker 1: actual issue. And there is an actual issue here, especially
Speaker 1: when you see anybody who's dealt with addicts before has
Speaker 1: seen this playbook roll out. So Danny is going to
Speaker 1: blame every single other human being on this dais while
Speaker 1: saying that he takes accountability for his drinking. He's a
Speaker 1: fucking addict. He's a drunk, and not to kick people
Speaker 1: when they're down. But you know, there's this certain thing
Speaker 1: where we have this like kind of fatalistic empathy where
Speaker 1: you go, yes, in theory, empathy should be extended to
Speaker 1: this person, but when you're encountering it on a one
Speaker 1: on one basis, actually, I don't have fucking time for
Speaker 1: this shit. You're a drunk, you're fucking inappropriate with people,
Speaker 1: you're annoying. So we're just gonna call it what it is.
Speaker 1: Go to a twelve step program, or talk to your
Speaker 1: fucking hot pastor with cum gutters, whatever the fuck you
Speaker 1: need to do. Just stop being so tiny, little tan
Speaker 1: and awful.
Speaker 2: Now, one thing we glossed over, I took a note
Speaker 2: from him.
Speaker 1: Tiny and little, whis redundant, but also he is he
Speaker 1: is little in height but also tiny.
Speaker 4: There's a doodle, a little miniature, which is cute.
Speaker 2: Their children, which is cuting their children. Yeah, but then
Speaker 2: they as adults they look odd. He had said that
Speaker 2: drinking helped him feel more comfortable on camera. Okay, now
Speaker 2: he's an actor. He's been an actor his entire life.
Speaker 1: Another lie he should.
Speaker 2: Wasn't he like on some Nickelodeon.
Speaker 1: Show or some bold she's a voiceover actor.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think as a kid he was help
Speaker 2: us in the comments.
Speaker 1: This is the pathway child actor can't graduate to adult career,
Speaker 1: go to voiceover acting. No shade on voiceover actors. I
Speaker 1: think there's a lot of really talented voiceover actors. But
Speaker 1: it is a little bit.
Speaker 2: But he did a movie in like twenty fifteen which
Speaker 2: was like a spoof on Fast and Furious. Anyway, my
Speaker 2: point that I'm making is I am not an actor.
Speaker 2: But when I had that reality TV pilot ten years
Speaker 2: ago longer, I'm first day of filming. I'm not you
Speaker 2: to being on camera and you're doing improv reality TV scenes.
Speaker 2: Never did it before? Sold the pot, the little whatever real.
Speaker 2: But when we're actually filming long form, I can't do it.
Speaker 2: I'm not comfortable. My buddy d Rock rolls through the
Speaker 2: next day, hands me some pills. Start taking those.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, oh yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: The next day we're filming, I'm completely comfortable in the
Speaker 2: scene lot. So one could argue that now I'm in
Speaker 2: my zone, more comfortable, the insecurities are gone. I think
Speaker 2: this idiot was trying to make that k for sure.
Speaker 1: I mean, but no matter which way you cut it,
Speaker 1: it's it's coping with substances. That's right, substance abuse.
Speaker 2: So anyway, and it obviously takes it too far.
Speaker 1: I think there's a moment where we get to Kristin
Speaker 1: and Luke. Is this where we get to Kristin and Luke.
Speaker 2: Well, this is where we get to La La giving
Speaker 2: Danny the AA speech, which is basically and then Andy
Speaker 2: mentions Laala, you said on a watch what Happens Live
Speaker 2: that she should divorce Danny, and Luke says under her
Speaker 2: his under his breath, fuck.
Speaker 1: Her, fuck you, sling Blade, shut the fuck up. He
Speaker 1: he is my tammer, is my least favorite person on Bravo.
Speaker 1: He's a close second. I think he's a bad, bad guy,
Speaker 1: and it's just I don't know that there's a lot
Speaker 1: of malice, but it's just he's so incomprehensibly dumb that
Speaker 1: he masquerades as bad. But this this the the the
Speaker 1: subject at hand, not Luke. We'll get to him fucking
Speaker 1: long neck.
Speaker 2: Well the hip before you get to your point. Sorry,
Speaker 2: because I don't want to forget this. The hypocrisy is
Speaker 2: fuck Laala for saying that, Yeah, the horrible things that
Speaker 2: you said to your own wife who has a baby too,
Speaker 2: Sure that that's pretty crazy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's amazing that he's running cover and saying fuck
Speaker 1: you to a woman who's criticizing somebody for being abusive
Speaker 1: to their wife. Oh wow, and abusive is a big
Speaker 1: word in Luke's case. He's just a dumbass. But when
Speaker 1: we don't know what's going on with Danny, Laala does
Speaker 1: not step down from this at all. She doesn't really
Speaker 1: back off. She softens a little bit, and it is
Speaker 1: it's not your marriage. You shouldn't talk about fucking people
Speaker 1: getting divorced. But it was interesting to see her go, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, I probably shouldn't have set up But also
Speaker 1: if he's treating you like this at your house, you
Speaker 1: should fucking leave his ass and go find a person
Speaker 1: that loves you.
Speaker 2: Ye. I'm not gonna take her. I'm not gonna take
Speaker 2: life from Yeah.
Speaker 1: Sorry yeah, la La we we again. You can't interject
Speaker 1: in somebody's marriage, Okay, and she's not.
Speaker 4: When we see the bruises, then we can do something.
Speaker 1: We can make a claim like this, but right now,
Speaker 1: let married couples fight without saying that she can.
Speaker 2: Divorce Laalah suggesting that Nia as a as a friend,
Speaker 2: because there's ways you can go about this rather than
Speaker 2: just blatantly come out and say things like that, Uh
Speaker 2: say to Nia as a friend, Nia, you need to
Speaker 2: draw a line with this man that he needs to
Speaker 2: get help. Yeah, or you are going to have to
Speaker 2: protect your children and your family. Yeah, and there's gonna
Speaker 2: be consequences, you know, just a.
Speaker 1: Better way to say it. Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2: But it's better TV and watch what happens live to say,
Speaker 2: divorce this idiot.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's tricky. There's bob wire everywhere, isn't there? What
Speaker 1: what happens next?
Speaker 2: Oh sure? Yeah? Okay, Michelle having to watch Jesse who
Speaker 2: cares make out lazy who cares? Yeah, well, lady who
Speaker 2: cares Lacy once again steps in as the mediator slash
Speaker 2: therapist for Jesse and Michelle over Itt. And then Janet
Speaker 2: sharing with Laala her personal story and how the fuck
Speaker 2: do you expect Dylan and I to on any of that?
Speaker 2: It was sad and tragic. Yeah, yeah, I don't think
Speaker 2: she talked this reunion, by the way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and also, I don't want to live in a
Speaker 1: dystopian flock world where we're monitored all the time. I
Speaker 1: don't want that. But if you abuse a children, can
Speaker 1: we a child? Can we just throw you into a
Speaker 1: giant fucking garbage disposal? I mean, my god, whoever hurt Janet,
Speaker 1: I hope you are rotting in fucking hell. Let's get
Speaker 1: to the next thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I could feel that same way too, And but
Speaker 2: there there's this new crop of human beings that are like, yeah,
Speaker 2: but that person that hurt the twelve year old was
Speaker 2: probably hurt when they were twelve. Good, let's send it.
Speaker 2: Throw that person in a fucking conveyor bell. Let's end
Speaker 2: this vicious cycle, right, Okay.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, all right.
Speaker 2: Here we go. Uh okay, uh, Jasmine and uh Kristin
Speaker 2: hash out how Jasmine felt diminished by her friends whenever
Speaker 2: she brought up.
Speaker 1: Let's talk about this because Jasmine. Once again, Jasmine is
Speaker 1: not good TV. She's not good TV. I have no
Speaker 1: problem whatsoever having Jasmine make this about race. If you
Speaker 1: want to make it about race, bring it up and
Speaker 1: let's talk about it. To say, I don't want to
Speaker 1: make it about race, but I do see this white
Speaker 1: girl coming on and everybody, look, Jasmine, you're Jasmine again.
Speaker 1: It's the brain cells.
Speaker 4: You need people that have a little cunning.
Speaker 2: You need people, now, Dylan, you pushed back against this
Speaker 2: at the beginning of the season. I said, there's too
Speaker 2: many dumb people on this show, and you said, no,
Speaker 2: we need dumb people. Yeah, I was wrong, No, thank you.
Speaker 2: You need at least three, at least three or four
Speaker 2: people that are entertaining that kind of like that titillate
Speaker 2: you on an intellectual level on a reality show. That's
Speaker 2: why Bethany was so good on New York.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, And if we're going to go dumb, we
Speaker 1: need crazy, we need unique. Right, So New York cast right,
Speaker 1: Ramona Singer just dumb as a fucking box and nails,
Speaker 1: but entertaining crazy though, right, Kristin, I don't know that.
Speaker 1: I think that you know, who knows how long we'd
Speaker 1: be locked in a room with a Rubik's cube with
Speaker 1: Kristin and me. It would take me years, right, it would.
Speaker 1: But Kristen's crazy, Jasmine, Zach.
Speaker 4: This is this is a stupidity that.
Speaker 1: Has no fucking dynamism to it whatsoever.
Speaker 2: Swartz lent a business fifty thousand dollars for eight years,
Speaker 2: and he's happy to have gotten his fifty thousand dollars
Speaker 2: back having worked for a company for eight years, fat free.
Speaker 1: And that's called an investment.
Speaker 2: Right. He's a moron? Okay, All these idiots have been
Speaker 2: on television for thirteen years and they live in the
Speaker 2: same neighborhood as me, but in apartments. Okay, do that
Speaker 2: fucking math?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Okay, not good.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: I do a show that makes fun of the show
Speaker 2: that they do on a television show, and I live
Speaker 2: in a better house than them. How's that work? They're moron?
Speaker 1: Okay? Point take it?
Speaker 2: Thank you? Next up, next up, Halloween party. Oh I'm sorry, Michelle, and.
Speaker 1: We got to talk about Kristin and Luke. At some point,
Speaker 1: Kristin and.
Speaker 2: Luke and her always savogaging relationships in the history of that.
Speaker 1: That was so weird when when Schwartz bring Schwartz brought
Speaker 1: that up and Kristin was like, yeah, no, but I
Speaker 1: think you meant it. He's like, yeah, no, I know,
Speaker 1: but I shouldn't I should have said it. Yeah no,
Speaker 1: I I but but I think you meant it. That's
Speaker 1: when you know that I think somebody struck a chord.
Speaker 1: You might have a little sabotage. But but but Kristin,
Speaker 1: do everything in your power to sabotage this relationship. There
Speaker 1: is a certain truth to it is better to have
Speaker 1: two parents in a house for the children. But there's
Speaker 1: also a threshold that you cross over that it is
Speaker 1: just not Kristin is married or dating long Neck, and
Speaker 1: he is one of He is just not good enough
Speaker 1: for really anybody. He should be in the woods by
Speaker 1: himself all the time.
Speaker 2: Okay, I say this about a lot of these cast members,
Speaker 2: and I know he's I think he's in his early
Speaker 2: thirties or late twenties.
Speaker 1: Whatever age he is. It's five to ten years too
Speaker 1: old to be thinking and behaving the way.
Speaker 2: That he's thinking in bad I just give people too much,
Speaker 2: can we?
Speaker 1: It is mind blown to me, the grace allotted to
Speaker 1: this man not by you, but by Kristen and by
Speaker 1: this cast. Why are we plumbing the feelings of discomfort
Speaker 1: of a man dealing with his partner who just gave
Speaker 1: birth to a child. We've been saying this all season. Yes,
Speaker 1: for men, it's a shocking plane shift. It's confusing, it's difficult.
Speaker 1: What are we doing indulging this mopey fuck? Yeah? You know,
Speaker 1: she was pretty, she was pretty mean to me. I
Speaker 1: just feel like she wasn't focusing on me, and I
Speaker 1: just feel like the balance in our relationship wasn't off
Speaker 1: and yeah, yeah, yeah, Oh my god, shut the fuck up. Sorry,
Speaker 1: so triggered.
Speaker 2: Imagine being emotionally immature, like I'm old, and I struggled
Speaker 2: with this. My wife just started liking me again like
Speaker 2: six months ago, and the last kid popped out of
Speaker 2: her badge like three years ago. She hated me for
Speaker 2: six years.
Speaker 1: Right, what did you do though? Well, you sat in
Speaker 1: the pocket. You said, this sucks, but we'll get through it.
Speaker 2: But if I was thirty two and good looking, I
Speaker 2: might have dealt with it differently. This is my point,
Speaker 2: Oh my god, because I was dumb and not emotionally
Speaker 2: prepared for this kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: You can't be dumb and not emotionally prepared for this
Speaker 1: kind of stuff at thirty two.
Speaker 4: We're not We're not living in that world. We can't
Speaker 4: live in that world.
Speaker 2: I wish, you know, I wish we lived in a utopia.
Speaker 4: It's different than thirty two twenty.
Speaker 2: Isn't that different for me?
Speaker 1: Okay, you're being I'm just being honest the comments and
Speaker 1: let us know what you think, because I think Pat
Speaker 1: is just dead wrong. What is this leash? Where all?
Speaker 2: This is why? This is why I waited so long
Speaker 2: to have kids. It is because I wanted to make
Speaker 2: sure I had my shit together emotionally, financially, and uh,
Speaker 2: I was not good looking anymore. Go ahead, Okay, let's
Speaker 2: go to the Halloween party, which sucked.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure I'm talking about.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's see into.
Speaker 1: The jasmine throwing the drink and.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, this is the conversation between uh well, Jesse
Speaker 2: and Michelle and uh and that Max comedian.
Speaker 1: Oh I love this because we really do. Uh kind
Speaker 1: of Jesse's he's an idiot, but Jesse has the the
Speaker 1: enough cunning bitchiness that he's he's okay for reality TV.
Speaker 2: Oh, he is actually probably one of the better characters
Speaker 2: to come I think so recently. And he disappeared this season,
Speaker 2: only to reappear in the last two episodes of the season,
Speaker 2: especially with this gotcha moment at the Halloween party, which is, Hey,
Speaker 2: you're dating that that comedian.
Speaker 1: Huh No, I'm not dating him.
Speaker 2: But you Uh, why is it? Why is Isabelle meeting him?
Speaker 1: She met he came to a showing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but he gave her like a smoothie or something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so the smoothie is the smoking gun, right, So
Speaker 1: why would Michelle michelle quick question post honeybee, why is
Speaker 1: your daughter saying I got a smoothie from somebody who
Speaker 1: just happened to go to a showing.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: That doesn't make any sense, though, right, Michelle.
Speaker 2: We all have.
Speaker 1: I mean some people might be blind watching this. We
Speaker 1: all have fucking eyes. Okay, we know what's happening. I
Speaker 1: love Michelle. I think Michelle's a sweetheart. I think that
Speaker 1: she's also good reality TV, great reality TV. I think
Speaker 1: she loves the shit out of her daughter. I think
Speaker 1: that she is uh, you know, everybody makes mistakes. Michelle
Speaker 1: does have a little bit of a concerning pattern here,
Speaker 1: with the carousel of guys coming in and out of
Speaker 1: her life and possibly meeting her daughter.
Speaker 2: Did do you notice Lacey had to like bite her tongue,
Speaker 2: but she did enough to lead us on to believe
Speaker 2: that Michelle has made this mistake more than two or
Speaker 2: three times. Yeah, okay, so well done.
Speaker 1: Let's just call spade a spade. Okay, Michelle, let's take
Speaker 1: our foot off the gas when we're introducing men to Isabelle. Okay,
Speaker 1: her parents are already divorced, all right.
Speaker 2: Uh, then we get to I guess the final moment
Speaker 2: that was the most the last talking point, which was
Speaker 2: Danny getting that drink thrown in his face.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean again, it was. It was a solo
Speaker 1: cup with a couple of drops of whatever Janet was consuming.
Speaker 1: I want to see Danny. I want to turn Danny's
Speaker 1: appearances on this show, not every episode, but into a
Speaker 1: jackass segement. I think we should throw more shit at it. Okay,
Speaker 1: And you know, I gotta say, I'm just short Kings.
Speaker 1: We love you, but I'm just not impressed by a
Speaker 1: good physique on a short little man. It's just way
Speaker 1: too easy.
Speaker 2: So he can do it's way.
Speaker 1: If you're shipped foot four and you're jacked, that's hard
Speaker 1: work if you're a tiny, little miniature. I don't want
Speaker 1: to call him because I don't want I don't want
Speaker 1: to besmirch that that breed of dog. It's a beautiful
Speaker 1: breed of dog. I would never equate them to Danny.
Speaker 1: But he got a drink thrown at him and the
Speaker 1: we could play the Iggy Azalea song. But Jason goes,
Speaker 1: you know what, I You asked me what was I
Speaker 1: gonna do with the knee? And and you know to me,
Speaker 1: that was that was an escalation towards some kind of
Speaker 1: physical threat. It's like, okay, Jason, Jason, why we hate
Speaker 1: Danny's ass with no legs? Okay? Just baby?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'd like to watch it. It's like,
Speaker 2: because I hate them both so much, I'd be like,
Speaker 2: who am I going to root for here?
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Back to the little guy.
Speaker 1: About fighting Danny is that, you know, a lot of
Speaker 1: people's hip flexers are not very limber these days. We've
Speaker 1: been sitting in chairs a lot. But Danny is somebody
Speaker 1: that you could easily kick in the face. I mean
Speaker 1: even if you're working at a desk for ten hours.
Speaker 2: Will you just stretch your knee. You're already at his neck, right.
Speaker 2: You know it's true though, because Danny's so short, he
Speaker 2: has to like for him to walk, he ts to
Speaker 2: take twice the steps as a normal tall person. Right,
Speaker 2: so he's already like working out his I don't know
Speaker 2: what's the back part of your your legs there the calf. Yeah,
Speaker 2: he's already got strong calves because he's taken twice the steps.
Speaker 1: Is a regular tall p exactly exactly. He's like if
Speaker 1: a hummingbird wasn't beautiful and was also a drunk. Wow.
Speaker 1: I have to think about that one. Yeah, and is
Speaker 1: that the end of our well.
Speaker 2: Nia has to defend herself for saying the casts are horrible.
Speaker 1: This is when I knew that they were coming back
Speaker 1: on the show. When you when you walk this.
Speaker 2: Back, that's right. That is a towel. That is so
Speaker 2: correct because Nia should have if they were gonna this
Speaker 2: was their fire, their bow should would have gone are horrible.
Speaker 2: We're all fake fucking people. Yeah, but Nia took the
Speaker 2: time to say, you're my friend, Laala, You're my friend.
Speaker 2: I want to get to know you.
Speaker 1: More have all of these great relationships. Danny and Na
Speaker 1: are back now. I want to say, I really we've
Speaker 1: shipped on the show a lot, and it is very dark,
Speaker 1: and it is postpartum nightmares a lot of the time.
Speaker 2: You're moving out of that phase.
Speaker 1: I do think The Valley is really that, it's really
Speaker 1: cemented itself as one of the dare I say, premiere
Speaker 1: shows on Bravo. This is a mainstay, is going ten seasons.
Speaker 1: This this show has legs and you wonder why, and
Speaker 1: we're all we have no idea. It's one of these
Speaker 1: answers of the universe that we just don't know. I
Speaker 1: don't know why people are watching this, but it is
Speaker 1: a fucking Bravo show.
Speaker 2: And we're here for it. I will say there shows
Speaker 2: like the rebranded vander Pump Rules that ain't coming back.
Speaker 2: There shows like Southern Hospitality that they filmed two seasons
Speaker 2: back to back. That's why you get season three of
Speaker 2: that that I don't think that's coming back. The Valley
Speaker 2: that's coming back.
Speaker 1: Now, get in the comments. Let us know who you
Speaker 1: want gone, who you want back? Do you want Jack's returning?
Speaker 1: We love you guys for listening. The entire season, getting
Speaker 1: the comments let us know we'll see you next week.
Speaker 1: I'm doing saying good bye Pat segabye bye. He is