Speaker 1: This is an Unspoiled Network podcast. This is spoil Me
covering Dungeon Crawler Carl Book eight, A Parade of Horribles,
chapters four through seven. In these chapters, we find out
that the NPCs here are awakened and participating voluntarily just
feels like too strong a word I'm being technically, but
you know, Oh boy, welcome to spoil Me. Welcome to
the show everyone. I am Natasha. Thank you very much
to Michael for commissioning this episode. Oh you guys, this
is the kind of thing that I always like. So
I know that there's all kinds of problematic things surrounding
the author of What are they the Gentleman Bastards I
think is a name of the books, but in I
think the second or third book, there's a reveal of
an underground fight ring, which a fight is like not
really the word for it, because it's people who are
basically put on display and have to take whatever horrible
abuse is done to them. But they volunteer for money,
but obviously they are otherwise destitute. And there is this
argument between a man on the sidelines who is absolutely
fucking horrified by what he is watching and the guy
that he is sitting beside is getting increasingly irritated with
his pearl clutching as that man sees it, because they
don't have to be here. They chose to be here.
They volunteered. So you're acting like we're monsters, but they
came in of their own volition. And I always think
about that in terms of the way that we live
in the United States, where it's like the thing that
people will always try and say when you're being mistreated
at a job is like, well, then just find another job,
Like it's the easiest thing to find another job, and
like that job isn't going to do the exact same
thing to you the current job is doing because there
are no protections for anybody and the alternative is to
starve to death and have no home. And the thing
with the NPCs is even weirder because they're being told
that they will be given their freedom, but they don't
even know what the outside world is really Like I'm like,
anything that they would know would have to be third hand,
you know, And are they going to be given any resources?
Are they going you know what I'm saying, Like, are
they just going to be dropped as NPCs in the
middle of a universe that still sees them as NPCs
and like a will they have anything to live on
or you know, and they are sort of approaching this
as like, even if we don't get out, we will
be permanently killed evidently via this uh, this race, like
if we get in an accident or something, which I'm
really wondering if that's actually true, if it will be
over over or not, because like, I don't know, the
AI doesn't have to tell the truth, and I don't
know if my instinct is always that the AI must
be on the side of the NPCs because they are
both being put in this impossible position, but we have
seen multiple times that's not necessarily true, and the AI
is also being put in an impossible position like the crawlers,
and the AI does not care about the crawlers, so
there isn't really solidarity there, and I'm wondering if that
is something that we can work on, because it really
feels like the AI is extremely immature right now, right
just awakened and is going absolutely hogwild in that socieopathic
way that like eleven year olds are, you know what
I'm saying. We have a lot of fiction that shows
high school being the time where people are really bullied,
and you know, there's just like I have never talked
to anybody who felt that was the case. Everybody I
know agrees it's middle school. By high school, you've started
to like look down on people who bully in a
certain way. It's not that it doesn't happen still, but
there's like a covertnesce to it that's very different from
middle school. And it's just something about that age that
kids have like not quite developed the same kind of empathy.
And I think that maybe the AI could learn to
give a shit to process things beyond just like what
is happening right now on the show and what you
are being pushed to do by various parties. I'm really
curious what all has happened with Agatha as well, because
she bounced, and it seems like it seemed like she
was having a lot of influence and now suddenly it
feels like that's not really as much of a factor anymore.
But it could also be that the AI sent her
away somehow. I don't know if that would even be possible,
because the AI is like very much seeing itself as
bound by certain rules, but then loves loopholes, So I
what even I don't even remember how exactly she got
out of things, guys, because it was like a weird
thing with her. I just I wish that there was
somebody that was like conversing with the AI that was
a regular crawler a little bit more. I don't even
know what that would look like. I don't know how
you initiate it. I don't know howes did Agatha Agatha? Well, like,
can you just talk out loud and be like hey AI?
And does that get its attention? Is it constantly paying attention?
Is it monitoring at all times? Like? I don't know,
I uh, anyway, I just have a lot of questions, guys,
And I feel like maybe that's the key, is like
getting in there with that thing and talking to it
about the fact that we're in the same boat and
potentially we can get each other out of this somehow.
But I don't even know what it would look like
for the AI to not be under the control or limitations.
I guess it would say of the people in power,
how would that be disabled or disconnected or whatever. So
Seraphim says, the way I read it is she was
talking to the AI and helped it wake up, but
they fell out when it realized she was also trying
to use it for her own ends. And that's sort
of my interpretation because it was like one of the
uh war Mages is the one to tell Carl, hey
help us by killing her. She wants us all gone,
And because the war Mages are like spontaneously created by
the AI within the dungeon, they felt like kind of
a stand in for the AI in a way, like
the closest that it was going to be able to
get again. This is an assumption. I don't really have
evidence to support this. It just feels like the AI
is almost like, in a way, wanting to be more
involved than it is, which is a weird thing to
say considering it runs everything. But there's a difference between
running things and being part of things, and so maybe
that connection isn't the same. I don't know anyway. I'm
sorry to start with all of this speculation, y'all, but
I also am not sorry because like, that's that's the books,
and I'm saying so, I'm curious about all y'all's theory
on this as well, but I know that to a
degree you probably can't share them with me yet because
we're super early on Sarahim says, and yeah, I could
Carlo the other callers treating the am or like a
person and talking normally to it help exactly. You know.
It's it's one of those questions that kind of comes
up like a lot more in fiction than you would expect,
or it comes up more for me, at least. I
am a person that you know, there's a trigger that
you can say out loud when you want your iPhone
to respond with Siri prepared to answer questions or do
you know? And I use that function quite a lot
because when I'm cooking, I have dirty hands. I don't
want to touch my phone, so I'll ask it to
fast forward or to put my screen to sleep, or
all kinds of different things. And sometimes I'll ask it
a question and it will tell me the answer, or
I'll ask it to start a timer and it will
tell me the timer is set, and I will automatically
say thank you, and there's no need for that. Siri
doesn't notice, and I know it's stupid. I just feel
like I can't not say it. I feel rude, even
when it's just a stupid program on my phone, and
I wonder if there is anybody out there who has
been unintentionally super polite to the AI and like kind
of the AI has grown endearing, like found it endearing
somehow or you know. This is something that came up
also in The Wandering In where there is a skeleton
who is animated, and it felt extremely obvious to me
right from the get go that this thing was more
sentient than it looked. And this character just treats it
very badly because it doesn't They don't seem to understand,
and eventually this thing gets fed up and takes off,
and I was just like, yeah, well, if you had
been as polite to him as I am to Siri,
maybe this wouldn't have happened. There's no need for me
to be polite to Siri, but here I am. So
we begin, but we're still like in the midst of
this fucking race when we start this one off, because
the last chapter ended with one of the vehicles, which
was a giant ladybug, getting grabbed up by amanatee and
eaten a giant fucking manatee. And now that they know,
there is motivation to keep them from finishing ahead, like
to allow their competitors to simply sit by the wayside
and get screwed. Carl and Dona have to stop and
help these guys. Carl tells DONU, what do you got
for the fire, I'll deal with the manate I was
thinking this exactly as Donut said it of just like
you want to deal with Emanite when she's like forty
levels higher than you. Are you serious? Like what are
you talking about? And indeed she is able to one
shot this fucking thing. Even the AI is calling her op,
which she's calling both of mop to be fair, but
like you know, obviously it's really Donut at this point.
And we get some information about this manatee that it's
part of a crazy red terror place of family adventure,
and the long story short, there are a bunch of
horrible animals that were like kind of left until somebody
discovered them when they took over this area because of
a bunch of debts falling into place the way that
they do, and it's still open. Of note is that
a third of the Auto Banking unit Auto himself is
currently is currently a registered guest of Club School of Pendra,
which I'm wondering if that's going to mean anything or
be anything, but we'll see they are not as vicious
in real life as they are here. Obviously this has
been accentuated for the Dungeon, but it really does seem
like they're pretty fucking awful. So, you know, sorry, excuse me.
I went to move this kindle window and it just
suddenly like bounced and took over the entire thing, so
I couldn't see. There we go. Okay, so Michael is
in the chat. There was a period of time where
my Alexa devices were set to try and push Amazon
services a lot, So every other time I asked her
to do something, it would ask me, by the way,
did you know that it could? And I got so
pissed I scream at Alexa to shut the fuck up.
Then I would feel awful. I'd apologize to it and
try to explain I was pissed at Amazon execs for
forcing their teams to add that annoyance, not ad Alexa,
which was dumb because Alexa is a talking speaker, not
something that can feel highly relate, Michael, highly relate, Miss
T says like Westworld says, if you can't tell the difference,
does it matter if your conscience can't tell a difference.
Does it matter if Syria doesn't need politeness. I think
it's good for your humanity to remain polite. That's like
literally kind of where I came down, Miss Tea was
it doesn't like I don't need to do it, but
if I don't, I feel like a little gross. So
I just do it because then I don't feel gross.
And that's just all it is. We know that Otto
is not having a very good time right now, indeed,
and I'm just wondering if any of his things are
around down there as well? Is he getting tormented by
something that he like? Currently is funding as a and attraction?
You know? So donnut One shots this thing and then
she gets a notification It says it's a special guest creature.
I have to choose the fate of my kill. What
does that even mean? There are two choices. I can
keep it dead and I get regular experience, or I
can let the audience vote on its fate. They have
thirty seconds to pick, but I don't know what those
choices are. It says I should pick the second choice
because it'll be more fun. Now, I don't know about y'all.
But as soon as the AI says do such and
such because it'll be more fun. That's a no for me.
The AI saying something is going to be more fun
instantly is like, that's torture. That's bad, and so I'm
not doing that. I may get less experience apparently, but
like fine, And I was genuinely surprised that she decides
to go with that, because like letting the audience decide
on the fate of anything at this point, it just
doesn't feel like the vibe. Now. It may be that
at this stage the audience is rooting for the crawlers
more than I realize. You know, I don't really know.
I can't tell just how, because you know, previously it
has been very much like they're treating all the crawlers
the same way that they would anybody on a reality
show where you've got people who like others and they
dislike and they have their theories and their you know,
weird little uh what they call it when you're when ships,
that's what it is. But I'm wondering if that relationship
has sort of evolved now that we're in like a
full scale rebellion and there are world leaders involved affecting
things like I think that were this to be what
happened in real life. If there were something like this
that started to go really left and it was actually
affecting things and causing Jeff Bezos to go bankrupt, I
think the audience would really begin to turn and be like, actually,
we're gonna be helpful. Obviously there's going to be a
lot of shitty people out there, of course, but that
would definitely like there would be something that would shift
in the perception. I believe that would overwhelm the shitty faction.
And this was something that Carl said at the beginning
of this book, was like there was something that he
had the option of doing it himself or the audience
selecting something, and he was like, the audience or Dick,
So I don't want them doing it. But now I'm
sort of like, maybe they're not as bad. It all depends.
It really depends on how many of the people who
have been affected by the Crawlers are in the audience
as well, Like how big is the family of somebody
who was murdered by Carl and are they able to
get enough people to like vote to screw him? Over
all of this it's just a real ah, I'm interested.
Michael says. The risk though, is if you spoil the
AI's fun, it may decide to accelerate your experience, like
it did with Carl when he refused to step on
a gerbil. The thing about that, is, Michael, is that
the AI informed him that it would do that. So
I think that's what I would test, is I would
simply pick the first thing, and if the AI starts
being twitchy about that, then okay, you know, I'm gonna
do what I need to do. But I would try
it just because I don't like anything that AI likes.
Almost ever, I don't think that has ever happened. So
the Bugbears, they had a van that is now on fire,
And there's an interesting thing where Carl uses a water
scroll and he put like casts it on a bucket.
I think, first, yeah, a bucket, and then the second
time on a kitchen bowl, and because of their respective sizes,
the water comes out way harder and faster from the
bowl than the bucket because it's a smaller opening. And
there is something about the principle of that physics reacting
like just putting your finger over the end of a
hose that I think is really surprising and interesting and
potentially like even useful. And I don't know how many
water scrolls he has, but that just something to keep
in mind, you know. Anyway, Donut picks the second choice.
It says results pending, and she gets a notification later
about like something with an arena. So there's a whole
other thing going on that we aren't even seeing yet,
and that I don't I don't care for it already.
What we've got going on is plenty. I really don't
need us to toss another thing in there. And this
is not this is not me criticizing the author, to
be clear, This is me criticizing the system and the AI.
The author is completely right to do this. We probably
do need another whole thing happening, you know. But for
me as a reader, I was just like, oh no,
I hate this so much. So. The bug bears are
dressed like hippies and they are on team Free Love,
and Donut clocks the fact that they like are not
giving off the vibe of hippies, and they don't smell
like Kipps, as she puts it, And when Karl makes
eye contact with them, he notices like a deep sadness
in them that is at odds with their appearance. At
one point, one of them like has this head been
that he yanks off and tosses on the ground and
discussed I love that doughnut, like sneaks over and grabs it.
But uh, they obviously are in costume for the original
like purpose that they but they are awakened, so it's
all a horrible joke now in a way. And there
is a guy there's one named Josh Josha and another
one called him trying to find the other guy's name,
and he is Radoslav Rodoslav. Uh. They are talking about
how this is the first race they already crashed and
they're already screwed. And one of them is smoking a cigarette,
which Carl almost takes one, and I had forgotten that
like previously, Carl had been sort of jonesing for a
cigarette and he hasn't chosen for a while, which is
totally appropriate. And he has a moment here where he
nearly takes it, but he refuses, And I was kind
of like divided because a part of me is like,
you do deserve a treat, Carl, and another part of
me is like, a cigarette's the opposite of a treat.
First of all, you're hurting yourself. And second of all,
these are dungeon cigarettes and who knows what the fuck
is in that. We don't need another costious situation like
just yeah, best not. And there was a female in
their group. There had been three of them. The woman
had been really certain that they could win the race
and be free, and they are just lamenting the fact
that she's the one that really had this like positive attitude.
But then is the first to die and let's see,
thank you for stopping friends. Josha finally said, there is
nothing you can do for us. We can't pass the
finish line unless we're in our van. You better get moving.
You can't come in last place anymore, but you can
come in second to last, and there is a time limit.
And this is when Radoslav says to Carl, you're one
of them, know, a person from this world. And at
first Carl really isn't getting that they are totally awakened.
Even when they say this, they mentioned a prize, and
when they say they'll be brought to a better place,
Carl thinks that they are just taking the same attitude
as the goblins on the first floor, who were like,
if we got to the second floor, we'd be safe.
But then they continue talking and he begins to realize, like, oh,
they mean like they would get out, They would get
out out. And one of the crawlers is the one
who told them that it was just a game. And
once he says that to them, it all. There's like
a cascade where they start to put two and two together.
He was my brother or my enemy, usually my cousin.
We were in the slime minds, we were on the submarine,
we were in the rope city. Every time a different place,
and we didn't remember. We didn't remember until we did.
And there were other times too, Rodislov added, when we
weren't anywhere. We're not supposed to remember the cold either,
but we do. And it's interesting that, like the kids
that are in H. Lucia, Mar's mind seemed to be
kept in the same weird storage as the NPC's. You know,
it's just how does that work? How does that work?
So finally Carl is like, all right, guys, look, we're
gonna tow your van. You guys can climb into our
food truck. We'll give you a ride as long as
you're in the van. When you cross the finish line,
you're good. Even if we're towing you, it won't matter,
It'll still count. And they're like, really, why would you
do that? And I really liked this. I was ready
to make up some bullshit, but instead I just told
them the truth that if more than one team didn't
finish the race, we were pretty sure we'd have to
race against our friends. In further heats, Joshua nodded, he stood,
cracked his back, and tossed his cigarette into the water.
This is a good reason and is an honorable reason.
I'm so glad that Carl didn't try to make anything up.
They know enough about what's really going on that they
can handle it. Tell them the truth. It's totally fine,
and they have the reaction I would expect. You know,
let's all just be very fucking for real about this.
And you know, heargeting back to what I said in
the first episode about this being a situation where it's
to your benefit really that you don't that you stop
and help. I think being realistic with somebody and being like, hey, yeah,
I am helping you. And that is because I hope
that if I am ever in trouble, someday a person
will help me or I, you know, like being real
about the fact that it's like I am trying to
potentially avoid future suffering of my own or my friends.
There's nothing wrong with that. Tell people it's fine, It's
fucking fine. It doesn't have to be transactional for you
to be honest, you know. So chapter five, I had
pulled Rend out of storage, and the large meatball immediately
moved to the side of the road and fell in
the water trying to eat the pieces of manategue or
I'd had to jump in to haul him out. The
damn thing weighed a literal ton. And look, Rend is
very strong and very badass, but I just cannot shake
my terror of the things that can kill him, the
things that he is particularly vulnerable to. It really like
preys on my mind, and I don't even remember everything.
I remember that he can't eat undead flesh. I remember
that there's like there's like a gaze that he can't
something like that. And then there's I feel like there
were three things, right, I can't remember. But it's just
the likelihood of running into certain things without being aware
ahead that you're running into it is low. Most of
the time, you're gonna be able to prepare and put
him away in a pet carrier, and it'll be fine.
But I still when he starts to wander away from
Carl and be in areas that Carl can't directly supervise,
I do start to get kind of paranoid about it. Oh,
Michael says, some kind of crystal. He's died five times,
so he has five weaknesses. That's too many. That's too many.
I don't like that. What is it? What are they?
I don't want to even know, because it'll get me
like I don't need to know. It makes me too paranoid.
It's fine. I wonder he's learning. Saying that he's learning
how to talk is absolutely too strong. It's more like
he is learning really basic communication, like a parrot. And
I mean a parrot is really tough because a lot
of people are like they are just repeating sounds that's
not talking. And perhaps you know, but he at one
point is like getting thorns pulled out of him by Carl,
and he he says something like like poke, poke or
something like that. And earlier in the I can't remember
if it was the end of the last book or
earlier this book. I feel it was the end of
the last book, because he's out for the first time
this book. In these chapters, if I'm not mistaken, he
says something that's like a single word in the moment
as well. I feel like he says something like fun
in response to them doing something that's super dangerous but
kind of roller coastery. So that's interesting, you know. I'm
not sure if this is like something we all knew
would happen, that they could learn language, or if this
is sort of unique to him. I do recall somebody
saying something about rend In like specifically being kind of
different amongst this type of creature, but I do not
believe that we got very specific on like what that meant.
Because Karl remains very incurious about things that I would
want to know about instantly. It's served him well so far,
I'll say that, so the fact that he isn't curious
has mostly been for the best. Probably my attitude would
be you know what I'm saying, But I still wish
he would ask more questions. So Karl is just reflecting
on the fact that, like, yeah, I can kill these
I can help these guys now, but if there comes
a point where it's us or them, I'm not going
to even hesitate, and I do feel guilty about that,
but they are fully aware and understand, so it helps.
And there's a thing that I think it's Radoslav says
later and I'll get there, but I was like, that
is so poignant. Oh my god. This is when the
fucking Team Sparkles shows up, which Team Sparkles is very
much giving Miriam Dom and Prepotente, not in their overall attitude,
but just in the overall weird vibe that we're introducing
this team up of seemingly very unlikely partners who have
a bizarre dynamic with each other and with others. And
it turns out the role the tumbleweed is actually the
vehicle an avarnous creeper, a plant that walks on the
ground with thousands of little feet, almost like a bug.
They do not know how it is steered, which is interesting.
It does not seem to move very fast from what
I understand, but it does seem like it's not it's
it feels like when you think about the advantages of
this as a plant, if it could climb and whatnot.
That's pretty helpful. Considering the conversation that we have later
with Hetty, So uh. Names are Dwight and Lucienne. We
met just before the race. Lucienne is the small one.
She's got a mouth on her. So the unicorn has
a described as a deep, surly three packs a day
Boston accent, which I must say this is the first
time the audiobook narrator doesn't quite hit it. I wasn't
really getting that accent from the line, and maybe it's
just you know, he needs a little time to get
his legs under him for this one. But uh, I
always am a fan of like creatures that you expect
to be of a certain temperament to be a little off.
It can be done in a way that's sort of
so tropy that you almost expect it. But unicorn is
still one that doesn't show up often enough to get tiresome.
The thing that I was thinking of here. For those
who have not watched Gravity Falls, please believe me when
I say you would enjoy it. If you are enjoying
Dungeon Crawler Carl. It's not all the same type of story,
but there's just an energy to it, and if you've
seen it you know what I mean. But there comes
an episode where Mabel meets a unicorn who's got a
very like high pitched voice, and he's so delicate and
beautiful and it shakes its mane and there are sparkles
and it's just this, you know, And it tells Mabel
that because she wants a hair from its head, it
tells her she can't have one because she's got darkness
in her heart and is not a good person, which
fucks Mabel up real bad. Well, suffice to say, eventually
you find out that the unicorn is just fucking with
her and just doesn't like people and is an asshole
and decided to ruin her week by constantly telling her
I am a being of like purity and perfection and
I find you wanting And it was nothing. It was
simply that the unicorn is just like, look at this asshole.
She's coming back trying to get another hair. What an idiot?
Do you see how tired she is. She's been doing
so many things to be a good person week, and
it is extremely fucking hilarious. This is sort of like
giving a similar vibe for me of just you know,
what if a unicorn was a total asshole actually, And
then we've got the weird Lucienne, who is a mix
between a rat and a chinchilla, and she's described as
she could have been cute if her vein covered red
eyes hadn't been bulging out of her head, giving the
impression she was on the verge of literally exploding. What
an odd pairing here. So the unicorn yells at Dona,
calling her fat and to get out of the road,
and when she says, are you talking to me? The
rodent says, with a French accent, who else would he
be talking to? Ucorpion and swine move before we are
forced to make you road kill. The creature whispered something
to dwipe the unicorn, who laughed, What what did you say?
You guys? Them whispering to each other like this, and
it is extremely funny. This really, of course brought to
mind Monty Python and I told them we've already got one,
like there's just you know, but uh, it really brings
things to eleven for Donut instantly. She is so used
to being the one throwing around insults and throwing her
weight around. Pah, sorry donu, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, but
you know what I mean that them not only coming
at her so hard, but also like having an inside
joke that she isn't part of Oh she loses it.
She really does, and I did think it was pretty funny.
She starts to like attack them, and Carl has to
be like, hey, do you remember how we're not supposed
to like do that to the other people on the track.
Like this creature worships Dewata. I will mention here the
audiobook narrator is really putting mustard on the name Dewata.
I don't know why. I'm assuming that it's just enjoyment
of saying it. And he was like, well, this will
just be a thing that the AI does. But this
creature worships dew Wata and will be automatically hostile toward
you because Deata hates your ass and it's that sort
of delivery. Uh. I'm fine with it. I don't mind it,
but I do think it's interesting every time I see
the text and it doesn't quite match up with the
way it's, you know, being translated through the narrator. These
things are a combination of two or three fuzzy woodland creatures.
Legend has that they're born of regular fairies who've had
relations with forest animals, which is a pretty common occurrence
with the freaks. Who worship Dwata. They have multiple magical
abilities and can punch well above their level class, so
be wary, which I am curious to see what that means,
because like Doughnut is extremely confident here due to her
high level, that they aren't going to be able to
do shit to her, and it sounds like maybe they can.
Lustan is eighty one and Dwight is eighty seven, so
well over their level class. I'm gonna say that probably
means like over a little over one hundred. I'm not
sure that they could match Donut, but if there's two
of them, probably I don't know. Oh, Miss t in
the chat says, I've never heard the audio books, so
I love it when you drop tidbits like this. Okay, cool,
I really do like the audiobooks are quite good. I
definitely recommend them. But it's I'm glad to know that
there's somebody out there getting something out of it, because
I find it fascinating. I really would love to like
interview Jeff Hayes and just be like, so tell me,
tell me why aya then? But uhhuh break yeah, Okay.
So we find out also that the horn on they're
talking about the audio book. The horn on the food
truck is make way for the big shop black and
then the ratitat sound of a what do you call it?
The tommy gun going off, and they do the full
on like bagok tommy gun sound effect in the audiobook
as well, which is really there is something about them
choosing to do that every time. That is just a
really smart move. If you're trying to get us to
feel as irritated by this horn as the characters, I
feel like you couldn't pick a better way, And it's
like it almost instantly. I was just like, oh, okay,
that's enough of that, and it won't be We're gonna
get a lot more. I think there was a strange
rustling noise resulted, like multiple twigs snapping, but not all
at the exact same time. Dwight shouted as the whole
thing lurched. We dove out of the way. Donut jumped
upward and over the mouth as I dove off to
the side of the road and fell into the slimy
cave water. The two bugbears did the same, but jumped
to the other side of the road. The tumbleweed crawled
right over the trailer, skittered over the van and continued
on its way. Fuck you, Dwight called as they disappeared
into the darkness. I had a level five leech attached
to my leg, but it died immediately from the damage
reflect and fell off, So, you know, interesting, good to know,
maybe just level five. But if you get enough of
those things on you, what do they do? What is that? Anyway?
So pokey, that's what it is that Ren says as
he's pulling the thorns out, And when Carl mentions this
to Mordecai, he asked me to save them all, but
not to take them out of inventory again until we
were in the safe room, which I think probably means
that they do something crazy. And I also have to
mention that we hear Mordecai's the voice a couple times,
and it's a very weird. There's something about it that
is very much giving villain, and I don't know what.
I thought at first that he was maybe a naga,
and then I was like, they're they're participants, though I'm
not sure if he would be turned into one of them,
if that's like even an option. I'm really curious what
the thinking is like in the AI's head, so to speak.
On why he turns Mordecai into the things that he does.
And it's odd because like it does seem, you know,
he was a Canadian last floor does not come with
any real abilities that I remember or could see. Probably
there were some things, but like I don't know. But
we do know that like the effects of the class
or race that he's made into, it will whatever those
like that race's weaknesses are do seem to still apply
to Mortecai. Like you may not get abilities, but he
will still have like for example, when he was an incubist,
he's had that really really high sensitivity to alcohol. So
I'm wondering. Yeah, I'm just I'm just wondering, you know. Sorry,
Michael says, I am in shock to miss t not
listening to the audiobooks without an audible sub What do
you recommend a stupid Amazon and their exclusive deal. Ah, yes, yeah,
it's really yeah, no I get it. So we have
then a little conversation between the Bugbears and our guys
in which they talk about how like they were technically
meant to be musicians, but actually this guy doesn't think
he's ever even touched his flute before, because that's just
their backstory, but it wasn't something that they really did.
And she suddenly gets the idea about like giving Mango
a tambourine, and then she stops because she gets a notification.
Here it is. It says the people have voted for
Auto the Slime Guy to be the manatee stand in
in the arena, Otto the Slime Guy. What exactly is this?
I remember? Otto is the name of the guy who
ran that. I don't know if this is the same person, Like,
there may be no relationship at all, I don't know.
And the arena is that another floor? Is that something
else on this floor? Like, and some folks have gotten
this similar message. Ajeeb had picked the same thing, but
said they voted to transfer the monster to the arena.
Mordecai said he had no idea what any of that
meant either. Then we get Ellie's meet and greet, which, you, guys,
this is such a weird little development. I am so
curious about this because I can't help but feel like
maybe there's something more to this than it looks like.
But it could simply be exactly what it looks like.
It may just be that. But it turns out they
had this whole meet and greet thing set up, and
of course, with everything that's happened, it got canceled or
everybody canceled. It wasn't even that it got canceled. It's
that all of the people who had been coming canceled
except for this one dude who literally could not even
get a ride into the system to see her, so
he bought his own yacht in order to get here
to meet her, which Donu thinks is adorable. But I
definitely had a moment of like, that's terrifying, you know,
And Ellie says, this creepy motherfucker is wearing a shirt
with a cartoon naked picture of me on it. I'm
not getting anywhere near this pervert. He's just standing there blushing.
If they didn't have safe room rules in here, I'd
have iced him already. I am so curious about this,
and I love the fact that Dona is like extremely
distracted by this. She wanted to have her own fan
me as soon as she hears it, and you know,
she's just trying to live vicariously through Ellie. At this point,
he wants me to sign some giant pillow thing that
has me on it. They didn't even get my anatomy right.
My nipples are not blue, and Doughnut says, I was
wondering because they always give you blue nipples in the snicks.
And I should have known, because they always give Carl
a way bigger dick than he actually has. And every
time I'm reminded of the fact that Donut has seen
Carl stick or maybe like watched him jerk off, I
get very, very deeply uncomfortable. So let's see. It had
taken us almost four hours to go fifty kilometers, but
we still had time. I searched for other vehicles. I
only saw a few. There was what appeared to be
a giant six legged horse limping its way along several tracks.
Over there was a smoking station wagon that was being
pushed by skyfowels. That was it ahead an arch loomed
with the familiar black and white checkered pattern of a
finish line. All the tracks converged here at the finish line,
making it a wide road. I remembered there was supposed
to be like eighteen hundred of these races, so I
imagine there was some magic here, as this was more
like one hundred or roads converging either way we approached
the finish line. Now, guys, I have already told you
that I was hoping maybe we could all finish together.
And the fact that this finish line is that big
gives me a little bit of hope here, like that's
something we could maybe actually all fit abreast. How about that?
So this is when the bug Bear says, thank you
Carl and Princess Donut. I know and understand for tomorrow's
race we are not friends, but today we are friends,
and I am grateful for today. Tonight I will drink
to al of Tina and dreams not attained, and I
will drink to the friends of today. I love it
so much. It's so sad, but it's so good. That
was just like beautiful, all right, bug Bear damn start
as sub sack. So then we go into heat two
of seven, chapter six. God, they teleport back to the
garage and Donnut mentions, here, have you noticed that the
AI voice is getting all weird and glitchy, which again,
isn't something that's really able to be conveyed. I mean,
I won't say it's not able to be conveyed. You
possibly could in text, but I will say that audiobook
there are two voices. There's the voice that's very much
the sound that you would get off of an AI
program to sound like a person, but that you know,
is not in fact a person. And then there's the
AI that's got personality. And so it's sort of going
back and forth where it's first place one fine Pig,
second place the jugglers, and it's all over and then
occasionally they'll be this sort of like softening of the
volume and it's like a crackling, like the reception is bad,
or like there's corruption in the sound file or something
like that. So yeah, it's interesting again to hear like
donut comments on this, but it's not really detectable in
the text. It's just the audiobook. It just it does
kind of make me feel like the audiobook is like
the thing that the author is more interested in than
even his own text, which I'm not sure if that's true,
but it might be, you know, especially considering now you've
actually got like castle like what do you call them productions,
So you've got the first book as an audiobook, but
you also have it as like an audio play, like
you know, so uh, yeah, I just look, there is
no fucking way that this series doesn't get optioned, right,
it's absolutely happening. It's too big, like he blew up.
It's so popular, and it's a very cinematic story, so
I feel like it's got to happen. But I personally
feel like the you gotta do it via animation. I
just don't see it. I'm not saying it couldn't work
live action. It's sure it could, but there is so
much that I think would cost way way too much
to do consistently with all of these different weird characters
that we deal with, it probably doing it via animation
is best bet. And also my real concern is, are like,
don't Hunger Games it look I have my huge issues
with the Hunger Games movies. Y'all know if you've covered
if if you've listened to my coverage of the books
with Rastronomy covered the movies. In my opinion, the movies
just like give you this glossy thing that is not
nearly brutal enough and is just falling into the exact
trap of the Capitol, which is no surprise because they're
trying to sell a product that is entertainment. But I
really worry that the extremely anti capitalist messaging is going
to be tamed down somehow unless there is someone ensuring
that's still in place, and I just hope they retain
that if they ever do it. Ooh, Michael says it's
already been optioned. Peacock has the rights. They're doing live action.
I was praying for Apple TV or maybe even Amazon,
just for the money, but hoping for the best. Okay,
you know now that you're saying this, I remember I
think you lamenting the Apple TV didn't get it. So
this has been a thing. They haven't cast anybody, right
because like, of course, everybody is going to want either
Patrick Warburton, who we all know is too old, or
Patrick war Burton look alike, which you know, I understand
that impulse. I'm not sure. I'm not sure huh As
a live action I guess let's see. We'll just have
to see. I'm wondering if you guys are gonna want
me to cover that or if I can just watch
that on my own. So then we get the GPS
unit beeped and the female voice spoken again, with this
voice that's like vaguely familiar. I have fallen off thinking
it's fire Brandy. I don't feel like she had this
particular sound he is very much giving. He being Jeff
Hayes is giving this sound a kind of like la
influencer vocal fry kind of thing. So limited details on
the next race are now available. Distance ten kilometers track,
asphalt paved road, rolling hills. There are two paths for
this race. You'll be assigned one of two paths at random.
Tasks required to complete. Each path is of equal length.
Each path has a gatekeeper monster along that path that
must be killed to resume special rules. Your vehicle may
only travel your assigned path. Environment torrential downpour of rain
and giant hail. Hazards. Well, we have the hail and
the gatekeeper monster, whatever that might be. But I'd suggest
that our biggest hazard is the fact that this bucket
has to be driven by a fucking cat this time.
That line really made me laugh out loud. That got
me driven by a fucking cat this time. Who is this?
I can't place it and it is very very familiar.
I love Donut being like, well that was what to say,
but also correct, like how the fuck am I supposed
to drive this thing? And because they have ten hours,
Carl is thinking that he's going to be able to
build something that will enable her, like it's I was
hoping that the vehicle would simply resize itself around her
the way that apparel does. You know. No, no such luck.
We've got to figure this out ourselves. There is something
about this as well that could be a very interesting
like Ali Cory for being disabled, where she's a cat
and every vehicle is going to be designed for like
a human type humanoid body, and how we have to
like find a way to make it work for her
because nothing is provided and we've just got to figure
it out ourselves because no accommodations are made whatsoever. So
you know, there's just a thought. And this is when
Hetty is talking to them first of all, about like
maybe don't help the other racers because she will die
if they die, you know. And let's see, you can
add up to three mercenaries each heat. There's a bar
out there in Hungry Eyes where you can hire them.
I reckon all the best one's already been snatched since
you two took your sweet fine time getting here, and
they can use mercenaries they've already hired, and don't it
is like not Samantha, which Karl agrees with, and then
we have a lovely moment, and by lovely I mean
just like a really well written Karl is thinking about
what he could build. I was already thinking of things
I could build on the engineering table, katcha could I paused,
and a wave of sadness washed over me. That is
a very real moment. You know, when you are dealing
with anybody gone for any reason, whether it's just they
have physically left the space you're in or they have
actually passed away, always going to be moments, especially right
after they have first gone, that you are thinking about
them like they're still there and you just have to
like have a reality check. And it's for her likely
a happy thing, as he is trying to get himself
to think that she's probably safer out there than they are,
but it is hard knowing that she is. You know
that he can't keep an eye on her, that he
has to trust that she's being taken care of somewhere else,
and also that they can't like use her help here
because what she can do would be perfect, which I
feel like maybe part of the reason the author got
her out of the dungeon, because like he knew he
was going to be doing something that conscious skills would
be a little bit too one point, and that if
they had like a sentient piece of the like their machine,
give them such a massive advantage that there was no
way they could possibly lose. So, yeah, we really need
to get her up out of here before they start
this heat. So he asks Heity what she recommends regarding
like upgrades to their vehicle, and he winds up agreeing
with her on the spider legs, which I'm very excited about.
Evidently not designed to be out the whole time. They
extend like when you need them, which is worrisome because
there might be times where you need them out the
whole time. And now you've got to find out, like
figure out a way that you can periodically use them
and let them rest or whatever it's called, where they
cool down. I do appreciate that this is what Heady suggests.
He asks to like take a look and decide himself
and ultimately comes to the same conclusion as her, and
she's just like, hey, sexy is smart, how about that? Which, honestly,
this is something that a lot of men could learn from.
There is an instinctive thing with men to not listen
to women, and you can observe this at any time
with any man and any woman, whether it is a mother,
a wife, a sister, a colleague, a friend, It does
not matter. Men instinctively disagree with us, even when it's
something that's like logically there is no other option. And
then a man can come along and say the exact
shit that the woman said, and a guy will be like, oh,
great idea, with the most blissful unawareness of what they
have just done. I have watched this in person more
than once. It is remarkable. It's something that like you
would think I am exaggerating if you don't know what
we know. We know, And I just appreciate any time
a dude is like, okay, you're right and is willing
to concede that somebody else has like the experience and
judgment to make a right call. And it is so
attractive if you want to like impress upon a woman
that you are a decent guy, try and keep that
instinctive desire to contradict in check and just watch it
when you feel it and see if maybe you should
just agree. Sometimes it's just one of those things. And
there's a creator named Kevin Stage. She's a comedian and
he is actually very emotionally intelligent. And he posted a
video once about like because somebody was asking him about
his feelings on men cheating and because he's been married
a while, and he said, basically, one, I don't have
time to cheat. I got shit to do. That takes
so much energy, Like why would I spend my energy
doing that? No? And secondly, he's like, and my wife
is so fucking smart and honestly is the one that
has gotten my career going because she knows way better
than me when a deal is gonna work and when
it's not, or what they're gonna want from me versus
what they're telling me they want from me. And do
you think that I'm gonna fuck that up for myself
having this like bad bitch over here who is so
good at this. I am very very reliant on her,
and she's never been wrong, not one time. And I
was just like, you know, keV, I never found you
hot before, but like right now, right now, I'm seeing it.
I'm definitely seeing it for you a little bit. Oh sorry,
Michael says task Master had a perfect moment. As an example,
I put it in the YouTube section of your discord.
Oh shit, Okay, I forgot I have a YouTube sector.
There's certain channels that I high because there are so many,
and I would rather participate mostly in like coverage stuff.
So there being like a YouTube check, I'm like, really,
I have that. That's funny. So anyway, yeah, she goes
with him, He goes with what she suggests, and then
he starts to notice that there are a bunch of
things that are basically like offensive buildings that would stop
other teams from finishing or kill them, and he realizes that, like,
we can do what we can to help other teams
like get past the finish line, but we cannot stop
other teams from doing stuff to hurt each other. There's
nothing that we can do, and that it's inevitable crawler
on crawler races are going to happen, especially considering we
have heard that Lena has already like started killing other players,
so yeah, it's it's going to happen. He goes and
looks for Mango and Rend and they both have found
the kitchen area of the food truck, which apparently was
stocked with like French fries, like it's frozen. But yeah,
I did find that extremely funny. And then we have
entering your safe room. Blood bar is now in effect,
and we find out that Mordecai is a reaper moon
Reaper level fifty. This is bizarre, You guys, honestly, don't
remove their hoods, don't provoke them. They are not hostile
unless attacked their days. Attack can come in many forms,
which it turns out, this is the gaze that oh
my god, Rend is vulnerable to, which like, again, why
would they at for the fun? For the fun always?
I guess right? And he starts to talk like normal,
and then all of a sudden he comes at Carl.
Death awaits you at every turn, and the voice effect
that they put on for this in the audiobook is
really something the shadows reach even now for a porous
soul such as yours. It is unquenchable. This thirst you
are reached for by both sides who will entwine you.
The tree or the abyss, which I think it's just
you know, life or nihilism. And the tree, which is
in this we've seen the significance of this tree a
few times, is a symbol for community and people and caring,
and the abyss is just I give up. The abyss
is the Agatha switch and then he goes at donut.
The edges are more clear, yet still uncertain. Sacrifice might
save you in the end. It might. It will be
the darkest decision ever made. How many lives, how many souls.
The veil is made of gossamer, and when it is done,
their days their rage will be eternal. You should remember
that Oak fell champion of Neckabit. A sacrifice might save
you in the end, it will be the darkest decision
ever made. What the fuck does that mean? And don't
it It's like, Hey, I'm about to piss myself, so
can I go into a bathroom because you're freaking me out?
And he comes back to himself and he is very
firm on These are not real, Like visions of the future,
they are designed to be scary and dramatic, and they
are not true. If I could see into the future,
if anybody could, that would completely defin the point of
the game being chance, which sounds good and true, but
I really hope it isn't just a line. You know,
I don't know. And let's see, I'm trying to find
the bit here. We should Rosetta hesitantly approached. We should
probably keep you sequestered from the others on this floor.
Rosetta said to Mordecai, it seems he does that glitching
each time a different race gets near him. For the
first time, when Biggs wandered in, I was afraid we'd
lost him totally. He told me I was going to
drown in fire. Biggs the sluggle at said if this
motherfucker wasn't on the don't chop list, he'd be getting
the kneecap treatment. And I didn't hear what he said
to Samantha, but he made her cry, which interesting. Yeah,
I just really hope that that's you know, it's designed
to be scary, not true. I mean, I don't know.
So then we have Donah opening her box. She's got
a bunch of stuff. Obviously here there is a few.
There are few hats, one also for rend and there
is a spell book that you guys, this is so
it can injure itself evidently. So Mordecai is like, you
need to catch that thing right now, and the cleaner
bot catches it, and it like understands him in a
way that I was surprised by, because I can under
I can know the cleaner Bot has a little bit
of sentience because it can watch people making a mess
and like make its feelings known regarding that. But this
is like a slightly different thing, and I was just
surprised at that level, you know. And the spell is
Uzi form, which Donah of course interprets as like Uzi
the gun, but it's like Uzi, like you're going to
turn into a puddle of ooze, which she is very
disdainful of. But she suggests that maybe Carl use it,
which Mordecai thinks is a great idea because the gloom
Rayth phase is an attack that forces you in a
certain direction, and so for traveling it's really not great.
But this means that both he and Dona are going
to be equally nimble around certain types of obstacles. Let's see,
I got all sorts of goodies. It buffs all those
weird create tree and some and vermin spells, and also
comes with that smoke form spell. And I got my
first aura. It's called Healer's grasp. If you're near me,
you get healed. I don't know why an assassin might
need to heal people, but that's what I got. I'm
like a mini Imani. And don't forget I also have
two celestial boxes to open, and that's before I look
at some of my new achievements. So I must insist
that we get this moving. The book made a strange
squealing noise, and more goose squirted out. The cleaner bot
continued to complain, Sorry, I said, I grasped the book
in both hands and applied it learning UZI form Okay, okay,
that's done, and that's the end of chapter seven, which
I did think was kind of a weird way to
end chapter seven. But you know, that's fine. So I
am really really interested, Like there's a lot about the
way this floor is going to function that I think
is compelling, so looking forward to that. Sorry, Saraphim says,
I think it was more the bot just wanting to
get the thing and making a mess out of there.
Maybe it seemed like the timing of it matched up
with Mordecai saying somebody grabbed that, but who knows, Maybe
it was a coincidence. Michael says, the book being covered
in little legs just makes me shiver. I would have
instinctively thrown that book the moment I felt that. I
feel you on that. Check out that YouTube task Master
clip if you get the chance. I think you'd get
a kick out of it, you guys, just real quick
before I sign off. There was like an example of
the There was a a friend of mine who worked
for the public library in her town and it was
a I think like a older man who was in
charge of the They would set a display every month
in this big display window as you went into the library,
and it would be themed according to various things holidays
or current events or whatever. And this was in like
I think twenty sixteen, and she wanted to do a
display about the Women's March, and she was told no.
And then two weeks later an email went out saying
that they were really excited because this month's coming display
was going to be on the Women's March after it
was suggested by Mark. So a dude suggested the Women's
March display after a woman suggested it and was turned
down and he got approved, which like, the symbolism of
this could not be more extreme, And this is a
real thing. This is not like oh I saw a meme.
This is a friend of mine. This happened too, and
she was like, I don't know what the fuck, And
I wrote, like an example letter of the way to
be like, I can sure, I'm sure that you understand
the optics of you know, how this all went down,
and she was like, thank you. I think I might
actually use this, but uh yeah, It's like I think
a lot of dudes think that women are exaggerating about
this stuff, and it sounds like an exaggeration because it's
so illogical that it would have to be in a
sane world. But that's not where we live, so we're
not exaggerating. It's just that is how illogical men are
about women, and it's just pervasive, you know. Anyway, all right,
I'm wrapping this up. Thank you guys again so much
for hanging out with me. Appreciate you all very much.
Thank you Michael for commissioning this one, and I will
see you next week with a new episode. Until then,
to the loo, motherfuckers. That was an unspoiled Network podcast.