Speaker 1: Is your voice? Okay? Is your voice? Okay?
Speaker 2: Yeah, probably shouldn't release the mustard gas right.
Speaker 1: Before the recording. And I know it. There's like hi
pollen in Hell right now too.
Speaker 2: Good Morning from Hell.
Speaker 3: It's you got friend Clayton brother Satan, leader of Hell's Armies,
here on my show Good Morning from Hell, with my
co host and best friend in the whole white Hell,
Chris So.
Speaker 2: Hello, Chris, Hi.
Speaker 3: So.
Speaker 2: I died about a year and a half ago, and
since then my eternal punishment has been doing this podcast
where we interview everyone in Hell.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 3: Actually, we need to do a quick update on how
many people we've interviewed and how many we have left.
Speaker 1: Let me see, I'm gonna pull out the computers, do some.
Speaker 3: Math calculations, all right, carry the one typing sound effects, okay,
And it looks like we've gotten point zero zero zero
one percent of the way through. Oh it just blipped
down to point zero zero zero zero one percent because
more people keep dying. So yeah, but we're well on
our way, Chris. We're gonna get there some day, that's right.
Speaker 2: I guess the only way as a finish would be
as if just like the world ended huh.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, which you know, we've got plans for that,
but it's still in the work, still in the early stages.
Speaker 1: We're still working on it.
Speaker 2: We have a new uh, the dungeon Fest.
Speaker 3: It's it's it's here, it's in Hell. It's it's time.
It's that time of year, dungeon Fest.
Speaker 2: Dungeon fests. And I don't know if this is because
I'm you know, relatively new, or because well, I've.
Speaker 1: Never heard of it.
Speaker 3: I've never heard, never heard a dungeon fest. Oh man,
it's it's great. We you know, Hell is filled with dungeons.
You know, we're all about torture, We're all about sending
droves of idiots into these dungeons to get you know,
brutally mauled and stuff like that. But we want to
give them the chance, you know, the the illusion that
they have control over their situation. But these dungeons are
ruled by the most ruthless dungeon masters. Uh huh, and
these guys they pull no punches. Very smart guy. So basically,
dungeon Fest is where all of Hell's biggest dungeon masters
compete to see who has the best dungeon.
Speaker 2: And I assume by best, do you mean worse?
Speaker 1: Absolutely?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: We want the most creative dungeons.
Speaker 3: We want the bloodiest dungeons, we want the smelliest dungeons,
the stinkiest dungeons. So we're bringing on last year's dungeon
Fest winner. You know, he might be a two timer.
He might get Dungeon Master of the Year twice in
a row. So hey, uh, Damon the demon dungeon Master,
come on in. Hey guys, thanks for having me. I'm Damon,
I'm a big thing. Thank you.
Speaker 1: Oh, thank you, Damon, and welcome, welcome to the show.
Speaker 2: Hey, yeah, Damen, So you are a dungeon master. You know,
I've stumbled past a few dungeons in hell. I've just
been so busy being tortured elsewhere I haven't had the
chance to go into one. So what is that experience?
Speaker 4: Like, Oh, that's a real shame. You should come down
to my place, the Dungeitarium. Well, h we'll take real
good carry. Well, we'll show you the ropes literally. Well,
you know, there's a whole lots of ins and outs,
you know, uh, lots lots goes into behind the scenes,
into dungeon mastering. You gotta you know, create the stage,
create a sense of fear kind of you know, get
everything ready in order that we when people come through
the dungeon. You know, you kind of want them to
feel like they have a hand in what's going to
happen to them, but really it's all it's all up
to me and uh and a little to a lesser
extent to random chance.
Speaker 3: You know. Yeah, I from my understanding, you use a
lot of like luck based illusions, you know, where it's like, oh,
you're very lucky today and there's there's zero Look at
the end of the day, you're totally in control. Is
that right?
Speaker 4: Damon? Well, I mean yeah, for the most part. You know,
I get to make all the decisions, you know, and
I'm in charge one and run everyone through and they
may feel like they have a hand in it, but
really they don't.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, but that do you mean they lose their hands?
Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, that's one. That's one part of it.
You know, they can have a hand in it, they
can have a foot in it. You know, if they're really,
if really advanced dungeoneeringy thing, you have a head in
it as well. You know, normally don't recommend that for
first time or so you probably get to that down
the road.
Speaker 3: Chris, So, before we talk about this year's iteration of
your you know, ultimate dungeon, the Dungeittorium, tell.
Speaker 1: Us about last year's version.
Speaker 3: You know, how what what made your dungeons stand out
the most from previous other dungeons.
Speaker 4: I like to think that I separate myself by really
paying attention and building a narrative throughout the dungeon, you know,
really starting off small and then building bigger and bigger,
you know, where people think that they have a chance
to maybe survive or endure the dungeon, but in the end,
the dungeon master always wins. So it's about setting that
appropriate pace and making sure that people think that they're
going to get through it and escape, but you know,
knowing in the end that it's it's all up to me.
Speaker 2: I see the sense of false hope exactly.
Speaker 4: You nailed it. Sure you haven't been to a dungeon before?
Speaker 2: Oh no, I just both on Earth and you know
here and how I've experienced it a lot.
Speaker 3: Yeah, from my understanding, Chris once accidentally stumbled into a
sex dungeon, a different kind of dungeon, but yeah, there's
about that experience.
Speaker 2: Actually, well it sounds pretty similar actually, where you have
these expectations where things might go one way, but you know,
in the end it never goes the way you want.
You always kind of end up prematurely.
Speaker 3: Out.
Speaker 4: Yeah, the house always wins, That's what I say.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, damon.
Speaker 3: Do you ever throw in elements, you know, like like
a romance or something where that people can possibly pursue
and then you know, sure enough it's an enemy and
then they kill the guy anything like that.
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 4: Classic. We can have someone posing to be another person
going through the dungeon, you know, an ally of sorts,
and then have them turn and stab them in the
back at the very end. Little twist there, just keep
them guessing. But yeah, classic, classic dungeoneering, classic misdirection, the
romance angle as well. They never see that one coming.
Everyone starts thinking with their heart, giving that extra hope
that they might escape and get something else not gonna
happen on my watch.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So what is it like at the end of
the dungeon. Is it always just like to get out
of hell? Or sometimes is it like something that's gonna
make hell? I don't know a little better Oh, we
done that for sure.
Speaker 4: That's one of my favorites to get out of hell
dungeon that never happens, by the way, just insider information.
People think that really that they're gonna have a chance
to get out of here and redeem themselves, only to
have any possibility of that closing on them at the
very final second.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, man, classic, nothing better than that. Now, No, Chris,
I want you to realize there is no chance. Okay,
even if he says, hey, you're gonna go through a
dungeon and if you make it, you're gonna get out
of hell.
Speaker 1: Okay, I want you to make it.
Speaker 3: Mental note right now, remember that, Okay, just for future
reference hashtag foreshadowing.
Speaker 2: But well, I mean, I guess I would imagine. The
best version of that, though, is people don't even know
that the going into a dungeon, right. They just think
that they found possibly a way out of hell, but
they actually are going into a dungeon.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, we'll give him a little bit of a
you know what they think is an insider tip or
like a little hack to get out, like they've discovered
something unknown, when in reality it's all part of the plant. Yeah,
and those are also great that it goes back into
like raising expectations and false hopes all of that stuff.
Oh man, oh I love it. It's the reason I
get out of bed in the morning. Really, you know,
it's what dungeoneering is all about. And you know that's
that's why we're coming together for Dungeon Fast twenty twenty one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you're a demon, But like, how did you
get into this particular trade? Oh?
Speaker 3: I worked in the finance industry on Earth. Oh oh,
this is just kind of monotony, some boringness. And then
you're just like, oh, I need to find a creative outlet.
Speaker 4: And then this is that I just have a background
in torturing people, giving him the false hope that they'll
be able to retire something at least, you know, just
yanking away at the last second.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 4: Oh, market downturn. So you know I felt like a
dungeonearing wasn't that big of a step for me. Uh,
gotcha made that made the kind of a lateral.
Speaker 1: Move as it were uniquely qualified for it. Got it?
Speaker 3: So, So tell me about some of your competition this
year at dungeon Fest. You know, like, what, who are
you going up against and what kind of moves do
they pull that you're going to try to, you know,
counter their their cool flashy dungeons.
Speaker 4: Well, you know it's uh, it's it's it's always a crapshoot.
People are always thinking they're going to come up with
something better than me, and uh they never do. You know,
people try to show up with.
Speaker 3: The big, flashy uh show week dungeons.
Speaker 4: That's that's not my style. And I played it down,
playing it subdued. And uh, Bill, like I said, you
start off small, and Bill, everyone tries to blow their
load way too early. And uh that's that's that's not
my style at all. You know, we're gonna continue doing
the things that have worked for us in the past.
Speaker 1: See classic, tried and true methods.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, you know it works. You know why why
reinvent the Iron Maiden. There's no point. You know, you
got you got a box with spikes in it. It
already kills people, Uh, in a torturous manner. Classic.
Speaker 3: You know, there's a reason that the classics have persisted
for so long. Yeah.
Speaker 2: What it's about, I would assume, is finding new ways
to use those classics and surprise people.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like Uh, it's like fusion food, right. You know,
you gonna you gotta kinda combine a little bit of
than you and a little bit of the old and
uh and you'll you'll find something wonderful at the end.
It's like a like a Korean street taco that that kills.
Speaker 1: You, right and it always gives you gas. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So, uh, tell us about some of the highlights from
your your previous dungeons, you know, like specific puzzles or
something that really just tripped up parties and you know
made him scrash their heads right before they got lobbed off.
Speaker 4: One of my favorites is showing them their loved ones
still back on Earth, making them think that they're just
on the other side of a portal.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 4: You know, people are gonna make their final run through
and and get through and then only to have it
shut down at the very last second where uh they're
unable to make it through.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 4: It's one of my one of my personal favorites. You know,
really really raises the steaks, shows them something that they're
that they're really wanting to achieve and get, only to
have it blow up in their own face.
Speaker 3: From my understanding, you're a master at manipulating the party
to to start infighting.
Speaker 4: You know, Oh, you have any.
Speaker 3: Examples of that where you just made the whole group. No,
like actual enemies that you've brought out, it's just the
party kills itself.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 4: The classic of course it's is to encourage them to
split up, you know, have them go in different directions.
You know, maybe it's a good idea if we attack
this for a different angles. So classic mistake. You know,
that's a that's a one hundred percent dungeon victory. Easy. Yeah,
it's so easy to do. People are so gullible and stupid.
They're always wanting to everyone thinks they can make it
on their own, or they're gonna lead the way out
and they're gonna they're gonna find something, when in reality,
that's the worst possible decision.
Speaker 2: What about like interpersonal conflict, how do you breed that?
Speaker 4: Oh, you know, when it comes to humans, they're pretty
they're they're pretty straightforward.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 4: Uh, you're gonna deal with some of the bas ory instinct,
you know, like lust or jealousy. It's kind of play
into those things. Jealousy, especially a really big one, make
them think that someone else has something they want, or
that if only they they can do a little better
than someone else, that they can get something get ahead
of them, or get something before them. Oh, it's so
easy to get done lost. Of course, you know, get
get some sucky busses down there. Of course, play into
that humans are pretty when it pulls down to it,
they're pretty simple. It's a couple of buttons you got
to push to really get things going. And of course
I mean it goes without saying. You know, put people
in the dungeon with their family. Oh man, nobody knows
how to push those buttons like family families just to
gift the kIPS on giving.
Speaker 3: One of the things that I think you've become famous
for is just the concept of nonsense puzzles.
Speaker 1: That really lead nowhere.
Speaker 3: But it makes the most confident party leaders and party
members really second guests themselves, and that just cripples them.
Speaker 1: Can he tell us of an example of one of
those puzzles.
Speaker 4: Oh absolutely, You know, for example, going through a maze
with hidden teleportation in it, or people think that they're
gonna be smart, they're gonna follow a wall or whatever,
you know, bullshit. They've learned from mythology. But you know,
the thing they don't think about teleportation, get instantly teleported
to another part of the maze. They never see it coming.
Another classic. It worked for me recently. Sometimes people get
too much into their own head, you know. Sometimes all
it takes is a simple door, and people get so
intimidated they don't know what to do.
Speaker 2: How can a door stop people?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think they get scared, they don't want to
touch it, or they think that it's some kind of
magic thing, and they go with the opposite direction. And
when it's like, oh, you could have just gone right
through the door and your goal was right on the
other end, but nope, they're too fearful, because again, humans
are so simple and weak minded.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I heard once you just had a button, just
a simple button, nothing devious or awful about it. But
the party spent about five hours staring at the button,
depending on whether they should press the button, pressing the
button and taking their hand off the button.
Speaker 4: Just all that, all sorts of nonsense, making it seem
scary put some timers, or like a scary boomy voice,
you know, just you know, play into their instincts. In
the In the end, they're just simple monkey brains. You know,
and not much going on up there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you ever put monkeys in your dungeons?
Speaker 1: You ever use monkeys?
Speaker 4: Monkeys are a tough one. You know, they end up
throwing poop everywhere. It's it's it's messy.
Speaker 3: Uh we we We had the monkeys from the Wizard
of oz Oh for a little while, but then they
were they were flying and throwing poop in it was uh,
it was not good. Uh.
Speaker 4: I mean it was fine for me, I didn't have
to clean it up, but you know, yeah, it was
it was not good for everyone else involved.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I guess it was like a little too
much you like controlled chaos, right, right exactly?
Speaker 4: You understand, Well, I like.
Speaker 2: Monkeys, so you know, he does love monkeys.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: How about how about you know, party members. Have you
ever had one that's kind of like trying to go
on against the grain of the group and he'll reach
out to you directly to like fuck everybody else over
for his own self interest.
Speaker 1: Anything like that happened in the past.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I honestly admire those guys. You know, they
think they can cut a deal with the devil, you know,
so to speak, And uh, that's great. Because then you
have an inside man, you know, working against the party
who they trust, and you know he's looking out for himself,
thinks he's gona get a little bit of extra favor
in the end, but he doesn't. Oh no, he gets
it worst of a haul. That's what you get.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 4: If someone can't even be trusted with their own kind,
how am I going to trust them? What angle do
you think? I'm looking at them from right?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 4: Hold on just a second. I'm really sorry. Getting a
phone call from the contractors here working on that's okay,
our new installation for dungeon tests. Hello, yeah, no, no,
the trap doors on the left, No, no, the other
the hinge. I wonder what do you mean the trap
door doesn't work?
Speaker 1: Oh that sounds fad what what?
Speaker 4: No, don't know. Do we got the one in storage,
the story tune and up back? We got a whole
box of them.
Speaker 1: Contractors, Am I right?
Speaker 2: Jeez, I don't care how you get it done.
Speaker 4: Just get it done or it's your ass. Sorry, guys
all good.
Speaker 1: Something sounds like that was a productive phone call.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, they're going to get it fixed. Don't wry
about it. Yeah they're good guys.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I'm imagining they're setting up some big elaborate
trap for your for your next dungeon.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, we gotta we gotta show off here
at the at the festival coming up in a couple weeks.
We're got to start doing our dry runs here pretty soon.
Got some people we're going to run through. So we
got to get it done now that when we can
do some tasks, make sure everything's ready for the big show.
You know, a lot goes into it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean the last thing that you want as
a dungeon master is for a party to just deviate
from your plan of imagining.
Speaker 1: Has it ever happened in the past, and how did
you handle that.
Speaker 4: Everyone wants to try to do things their way. They
think that they're so smart and original. But all we
got to do is, you know, if they try to deviate,
we just throw one of our ready made dungeons in
their way.
Speaker 3: I see.
Speaker 4: It's not ideal at all, you know, ready made, it's
kind of generic, it's not tailored to the individual, but
we can use it to kind of turn them back
onto the main path that we want them to do.
So it's kind of just like you know, putting a
few steps in front of them, make them think that
they're doing something original, and just kind of circle them
back into the main dungeon.
Speaker 3: Alternatively, in death, you know, they go against your command
and then you just like, oh, you fall into a
never ending pit and die.
Speaker 4: I mean that's true. We can definitely do that. We
have done that the past.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 4: I like trying to draw it out a little longer,
make it a little more fun for me. But you know,
if they're if they're annoying, if they're trying to go
against me, Yeah, it's the death easy.
Speaker 2: So wait, you think the never ending pit it needs
to be drawn out. It's it's too short.
Speaker 4: Drawn out for me. I want to I want to
have some fun with it too. You know, once they
once they're in the pit, then you know, what are
you gonna do? They're just gonna fall for an eternity.
I'm sure it's fun for them, but it's not so
much fun for me.
Speaker 3: Gotcha?
Speaker 2: Gotcha?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: You know? Quick as side, How do never ending pits work?
I wonder, like, when you're falling down one you do
you fall asleep? Ever? I'm sure you're just falling forever? Like,
do you get comfortable? Enough that you just need to sleep.
Do you ever wonder about that? Yeah?
Speaker 4: I guess you know, you probably get used to it, right,
you know, it's like like white noise almost to earth.
You know, it's like, oh, I'm just falling forever. Might
as well take a quick nap.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Interesting, dam man, you mentioned the illusion of chance earlier.
How do you kind of determine how someone's chance plays out?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 1: Do you have like a like a system for that?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's that's a really great thing is sometimes if
I can't make a decision, I'll just roll some dick
different kinds.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 4: It's like, oh, I've got you know, twenty different possibilities here,
but you know they're all really good. Can't pick one?
Just toss the die on my desk and be like, ah,
there we go, instant success.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 4: And then sometimes, you know, if I want, I'll even
give the people in the dungeon a diet to roll,
make them think that they have their own chancer, that
they're faces in their own hands. And really it's up
to me.
Speaker 3: Here.
Speaker 4: You want to give us an example, Chris, here, take
one of these diys, give us a little role, give
us a little.
Speaker 2: Example here, all right, well what am I? What am
I rolling for?
Speaker 4: Well, you're going to roll to see how much of
a discount you're gonna get for your dungeon Fest twenty
twenty one past.
Speaker 3: Okay, oh okay, all right, Chris is rolling is D
twenty Here we go.
Speaker 2: Oh seventeen that's that's that's pretty good. It's not a
bad roll. That's really good.
Speaker 4: You're only gonna pay seventeen percent more for your ticket
to judge you fast twenty twenty one.
Speaker 3: Oh oh yeah, you didn't know what you were rolling for.
Ye see a little mystery, Yeah, little little little sneaky.
Speaker 1: Well this this seems like fun. I'd like to roll
one a few if you in't mind, dament.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, absolutely good, give that a roll.
Speaker 3: All right, here you go running, show me the money.
Chris pulled my die? Don't pull my die. Your breast stinks. Roll.
Speaker 1: Oh looks like I got a one.
Speaker 2: That's that's the worst, isn't it? That's is that the worst? Oh?
Speaker 4: Wow, that's actually excellent. You're gonna be first in line
to try out all the new exhibits a dungeon fans.
Oh look at that number one in line. Amazing only chance.
Speaker 3: Of that happened?
Speaker 1: That's great?
Speaker 2: Can I try one more time?
Speaker 3: Can I just?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, absolutely, we got a you got got plenty of
die here try this, but it's one of my favorites.
Speaker 2: And uh uh.
Speaker 1: Oh, look at.
Speaker 2: There's a one.
Speaker 4: Uh that that's that's actually not very good for this role.
Speaker 3: Do you want to try giving another role just to
see if you do any better? Uh? Here, just try
just try it again. You don't want to one, trust me,
you do not want to one? Here?
Speaker 4: Try try okay, all right, all right?
Speaker 1: What the oh man? Another one again?
Speaker 4: How did that happen?
Speaker 3: Here?
Speaker 4: Go again that?
Speaker 3: I don't know how that?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 1: Wow, what a gangs one again?
Speaker 4: That's the kind of trickery that I'm really into. Take
a take a closer look at that die, Chris, Oh tricky.
Speaker 2: It looks like a normal die. But when you set
it down, it's always it's always a one.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Perfect, it's just one in different languages and different
ways of writing one.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: That's one of my favorites. Get it, a little little
dungeon master. The kind of humor you can expect, that's great.
Speaker 3: Stuff, great stuff. So you know, whatever you're having these
long sessions. You know, people going through your dungeons. Uh,
you know, I'm sure you get thirsty. I'm sure you
get hungry. You know what kind of stuff do you
do to to keep yourself satiated while this is happening? Oh?
Speaker 4: You know, when you're running a dungeon, it's nothing better
than a tall, cool glass of mountain brew.
Speaker 2: Mountain brew.
Speaker 3: Mountain brew my.
Speaker 4: Favorite favorite favorite drink to enjoy while dungeoneerings like a
lime green concoction that just makes you jittery as hell,
and you also just constantly need to pee.
Speaker 2: It's just what like comes from a mountain ice, but like.
Speaker 4: How well it runs down the mountain side and then
it's just collected at the base of the mountain when
it falls off falls off a cliff. Yeah, classic mountain brew.
I could go for something right now.
Speaker 2: It's just dirt and I assume feces and okay.
Speaker 4: Well it doesn't sound good when you put it that way.
Speaker 3: Well, okay, Chris, mountain brew is delicious. Maybe someday I'll
let you have some. You're missing out. What about snacks?
I mean, do you have any like fun snacks?
Speaker 1: Go tos?
Speaker 4: Oh, nothing goes better with a mountain brew than borritos.
Oh you know the board insides of Skulls.
Speaker 3: Oh nice and crispy. Let's just love the crunch Skulls schools. Yeah,
I love pooh Ranch. Hold on, I just got a
text message contractors again?
Speaker 1: Or what is it?
Speaker 4: No? No, it looks like could I have some folks
running through one of my other dungeons right now? Oh,
I gotta I gotta take a look. We're doing some
beta testing right now.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Do you do you mind if we if we watch
skt a little behind the scenes, look at how a
dungeon master takes care of parties.
Speaker 4: Oh no, not at all. You can. I'm more than
happy to share with you guys.
Speaker 1: This is great, Chris.
Speaker 3: You pay attention to this because it might be useful
information in the future. All right, and okay, so all right,
looks like we got a party of how many people?
Is that? There's four here right now? For four unfortunate souls? Unfortunate? Yeah,
it looks like they get a bard. That's a bad choice. Yeah,
that's that's that's Eddy van Halen.
Speaker 1: Ooh interesting, who else do we got here?
Speaker 4: Looks like we got a cleric? Uh, he was a
priest in uh an Earth. I'm sure, I'm sure you
can guess why he's down here though.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's side for what that guy's doing. Yeah
we see, yuh got a druid. What is a druid?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: On earth?
Speaker 4: They called those guys first?
Speaker 2: Oh oh I didn't see it through the costume.
Speaker 1: Yeah that Max.
Speaker 4: Yeah see he's a shape changing got it.
Speaker 2: And then who's that that big one?
Speaker 4: Oh that's a fighter. He was a previously an MMA
fighter on you know, Ultimate fighting kind of stuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, looks like that guy's only gonna be good at
like one armed combat.
Speaker 2: Let's gonna be bad for the party. This is not
a good team comp.
Speaker 4: I gotta say, Oh no, they're they're gonna get this
throwing out there. It's gonna be great.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So all right, so they're they're during the dungeon. No,
what's gonna what are you throw it their way?
Speaker 4: Well, let's see, first of all, it looks like they're
doing what I said earlier. They're gonna try to follow
one wall. They're going on the left. Start them off easy,
you know, gonna drop a few coal balls in there,
give them some chance at beating those.
Speaker 2: And what's a co ball.
Speaker 4: It's like a little goblin. They're real small, usually real
a pushover.
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, yeah, right, yeah, it looks like the fighter's
taking care of that one.
Speaker 1: Oh handedly.
Speaker 2: These guys aren't as bad as I thought. Eddie, Eddie,
just like man, he just put an axe through them
by Axim and his guitar.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: See that's what I'm talking about. Even you guys are
falling for it. That false sense of security, the false
sense of hope.
Speaker 1: Oh I see, yeah, they're all high five in each other.
Look at that.
Speaker 4: Oh they think they're hot shit. Just wait till they
encounter my giant vat of hot shit. Oh what yeah,
we'll toss that on him right now.
Speaker 2: Oh oh oh it's oh it's boiling. That's really hot.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: That cleric is not taking that hot ship.
Speaker 3: Well see that's the kind of stuff you gotta think
on the fly.
Speaker 4: Right there, just came up with that off the cop.
Speaker 1: That's great.
Speaker 4: Looks like the cleric is down, though, we'll wratchet it
up quite a bit. We'll go with the classic from
the old old playbook. Here'll give him a minotaur to
face off again.
Speaker 3: Okay, menotaur, pretty standard enemy type unique twister turns on
this guy. This manuitar's got anger management issues.
Speaker 2: But but don't all minataurs have anger management issues? Or
how angry do you have to be to have anger
management issues as a minotaur?
Speaker 3: He's got daddy issues. It's a it's really yeah, force
to record with. It looks like the Druid is trying
to use his animal handling to to.
Speaker 1: Kind of approach the furry.
Speaker 2: Rather, it looks like he's trying to reason with the menataur.
Speaker 4: Oh when when this manu tar is in a mood,
there's no reasoning with him. You've just got to let
him go. This is a classic mistake here. Yeah, and
uh he's picking him up.
Speaker 2: Well, there goes his handling. Its hands, his hands are off,
yeah off, yeah, perfect.
Speaker 1: The drew is not having a good Oh and uh.
Speaker 4: The minotaurs, we're removing that first suit quite literally. And
he is wearing the druid as a fur coat.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, oh wow, gang.
Speaker 4: Even I didn't expect that one.
Speaker 3: So it looks like they're down a druid and a cleric.
All they got left is a barred in the fighter.
So edvan Halen and the Mma fighter, what what do
you got next for those guys.
Speaker 4: Neither of these guys looks like they're particularly smart, So
let's let's give them a mental puzzle here. We'll give
them a room filled with ruins that they don't understand,
and as well, we'll toss it in an exit sign.
Speaker 3: So in this room, I'm imagining that there's some sort
of puzzle that they need to solve in order to
then go through the exit sign safely.
Speaker 1: Is that correct?
Speaker 3: Oh? No, they can just walk out the exit. This
is this is actually an exit. Oh oh, but if.
Speaker 4: I know them, if I know these guys, they're going
to overthink it and they're going to think that it's
a track.
Speaker 3: Wow. So oh, it looks like you're you're you're adding
a ticking clock. Are those spikes coming down from the ceiling? Yeah,
ever so slowly.
Speaker 4: They won't notice it at first, and by the time
they look up and realize what's going on, it'll be
too late.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it looks like they're trying to match up
the runes. How do they match up?
Speaker 4: Normally? You're right, you do match him up. But I
unplucked the rune translator this morning, so it's actually not
even hooked up to anything right now, they're just.
Speaker 3: With their time. Looks like the barred van Halen is
trying to play some sort of tune because he thinks
these are musical notes.
Speaker 2: Oh no, that's set.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that just sounds like a commercial, like a jingle
or something like that.
Speaker 2: It's it's crazy how someone as talented as Van Halen
can just end up sounding like stock music. Yeah, weird
under pressure.
Speaker 1: Yeah all right.
Speaker 3: It looks like the MMA fighter has found some sort
of overturned chair and he's trying to like look for
some sort of puzzle piece.
Speaker 1: Is there?
Speaker 4: Does that chair have any significance? No, with just a
random prop that we put out there. Sometimes we'll take
a key to the bottom of the chair to make
them think that they found something, but in this case,
now it's just a random chair that's just getting there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's still staring at it.
Speaker 3: I mean he's really he's really getting into that chair
and he's convinced. He's trying to align it with certain
runes and certain door and it's just not working out
for him.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just a chair.
Speaker 3: I think years of getting hit in the head have
really affected that guy.
Speaker 1: Probably.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Uh, well, well now he's picked up. He's just hitting
Van Halen with the chair.
Speaker 4: That's what happens.
Speaker 3: They'll they'll turn on each other, classic party strife.
Speaker 2: And that's not even legal in MMA. They're only they're
not supposed to this isn't you know?
Speaker 4: Yeah, these aren't world wrestling rules.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And ooh, looks like those spikes finally came down
all the way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the end of those two. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was pretty quick, pretty straightforward. Nothing special there. Now.
Love watching a master do his work. That's a dungeon
master do his work.
Speaker 1: That's great.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 4: I really appreciate it. Chris. You feel like you learned
anything from that? From watching that?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's it seems pretty I mean it
seems like they were making all the wrong choices. They
seem obvious when I'm watching it, you know, like as Yeah.
Speaker 4: So it seems like the kind of thing you want
to do. Right, Let's let's go and send you down there.
Let's give you a shot.
Speaker 2: Oh, Chris, let's what an honor?
Speaker 3: No? Well here here, hold on, before we go, why
don't you select, select your class, select some armor. We
got all sorts of things over here. What are you
gonna go with? Chris, what about this shield?
Speaker 2: The shield looks Chris, Sorry, you're really weak.
Speaker 3: Looks like you have a not a lot of strength
that you're You're very encumbered right now.
Speaker 2: So you're going to drop all that's just a shield though.
Speaker 3: Yeah, actually you got to lose that armor too for
some reason. You're still encumbered. I think you got to
take off your shirt and your pants.
Speaker 2: All right, okay, how am I still?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 2: Why am I weight down only wearing sod I don't know.
Speaker 1: You got to take those socks off, all right? There
you go. You look like you're able to take it on.
Speaker 2: How about a weapon? You want to pick out a
weapon real quick?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: What what?
Speaker 2: What is there to pitch?
Speaker 3: All sorts of stuff? There's axes, long bows, long swords.
You can use this dagger, it's it's great.
Speaker 2: This is a stick.
Speaker 3: No, no, it's hey, hey damon, it isn't that the
magic dagger of Shalamalan? Oh?
Speaker 4: Yeah, the magic dagger of Kalamalon. It's a very powerful artify.
Speaker 3: Yeah, very ancient weapon, very good, very high power, but
druidic weapon.
Speaker 2: It looks like a stick.
Speaker 1: No, that's the ancient dagger from Gagama on.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, I guess I'm I guess I'm equipped.
Speaker 4: All right, Well you're ready. You look at you, you're
all saying, ready there going to.
Speaker 1: Be out what a hero.
Speaker 3: All right, get out there, Chris. Well, we'll be watching,
we'll be cheering you on. Hey, and Chris, guess what
if you make it through this dungeon, you get to
go back to Earth.
Speaker 4: You just got to get through that exit sign.
Speaker 2: No, because you already said that there was no hope.
Speaker 3: Oh no, I mean, damon, tell the guy. I mean right,
he can get out of hell. There's a fast track
out of hell in here.
Speaker 2: You promised.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, for sure. I mean normally we say no,
there's no way. But Chris, I mean this is this
is it. I this is why it brought him honest,
so that he could get you out of hell. This
is entertainment. This is what people tune into podcasts for. Right, Yeah, yeah, okay,
all right, Steakes, And you know if you make it through,
podcast is over, you're back on Earth.
Speaker 1: Things are things are great.
Speaker 2: So yeah, I do have this magic yaman on.
Speaker 4: Right, the diger Smala.
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, all right, I'm ready, all right, go
get him, Champ, get out there. A al right, Okay,
it looks like he bought it. Damn all right, what
do you got? What you got in store for Chris?
Speaker 4: Oh, we're you gonna this is one of my most
devious creations ever. Every piece of this dungeon has been
perfectly crasped specifically for Chris.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 4: I've spent so much time I've been listening to the
podcast forever, done all my research. I've spent weeks putting
this together just to just to torment Chris specific just
fine tuned it to Chris's.
Speaker 1: Every fear and in everything.
Speaker 3: I mean he's got looks like you have so many
enemies just in the queue waiting to go.
Speaker 4: But like, oh wow, this is this is it's a
massive creation. So it's taken us weeks to put together.
This might be your best work yet. Okay, well, it
looks like he's entering the dungeon. All right, what's what's
what's happening? All right, he's stepping up to the dungeon.
All he's got to do is go through the door here,
Uh to get We'll getna get under way. I hope
we have enough time to get.
Speaker 3: Through all that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a lot of stuff. What's on the other
side of that door.
Speaker 4: By the way, immediately on the other side of the
door is Chris's undead family.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, you're you're really not pulling the punches, I
mean right from the get go.
Speaker 4: Yeah, right, right for the gut. He's grabbing the door
and it's falling off the hinges and it crushed him.
Speaker 3: Wait are you serious, he's that's not even part of
the dungeon.
Speaker 4: How did he do that?
Speaker 1: He broke the game, He broke the dungeon.
Speaker 4: He squished.
Speaker 3: He's not supposed to be squished, did he? I mean,
was that like a was that like it's just a
bad role? I mean, did he does? He just have
really low stats and he's just got bad door opening skill.
Speaker 4: I think I've got a bad contractor.
Speaker 1: No, that's awful. Well, that's okay.
Speaker 2: He had no chance of getting out, like we were
talking about earlier.
Speaker 4: We spent so long working on that though.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, I'm sorry, dam and the Demon DM. Well, Hey, anyways,
thanks for coming on the show. Super excited to see
your work at Dungeon Fest. Yeah, man, all right, good
luck out there this year.
Speaker 1: He'll quay.
Speaker 2: Hey, guys, thanks for listening.
Speaker 1: To another episode of Good Morning from Hell.
Speaker 3: This week we had our old friend Gus cerl on. Gus,
thanks for joining us again.
Speaker 4: Thank you. That's always fun.
Speaker 2: And uh, there we had a special dungeon master because
you actually are in real life our dungeon.
Speaker 4: Master, right, yeah, like a D and D style one,
not like a dungeon like. I'm not actually running Chris
and Blame through any sex dungeons or ane year yet.
Speaker 2: Well, you know we haven't in a year. It's been COVID,
you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we've all been in a separate dungeons at home.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: We got a dungeon dragon's podcast called Tails from the
Stinky Dragon. It's uh, we have the trailer route available
now and the first episode comes out May fourth. You
can listen to it. Where we get podcasts, they search
for tales for the Stinky Dragon, and I guarantee you
we're going to be the only one.
Speaker 2: So if you've never listened to a D and D
style podcast, I mean it's you don't really need to
know anything about D and D. It's really just like storytelling.
I mean it's we're playing characters, and Gus is kind
of like our story master, guiding us through it's very fun.
Speaker 3: Yes, for all three people who do not know what
Dungeons and Dragons is, it's gonna be great. But no,
but real talk, this is a great jumping on point.
We just wrapped up a pretty lengthy campaign and yeah,
we're starting from scratch, new characters. We are bringing in
the experience from the old campaign into this one, and
we've already done a couple episodes and it feels awesome.
Speaker 2: It's so fun. Like, I don't know, I really like
our characters. And if you like this kind of show
where it's like improv, they all play comedy with characters.
I mean, it's the perfect show you should listen to.
And it's got the three of us and then Barbara
Dunkleman who has come on many times as Gambo, and
John Reisinger, who's also come on as a Fawn the
fun Raisinger Fawn Risinger sweet well, thanks for being on again, guests,
Thank you. Yeah, so go go look for Tails from
Stacky Dragon right now. Listen, Subscribe,