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Speaker 1: The Diary of a Madman by GUIs de Monpaissant. He

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was dead, the head of a high tribunal, the upright magistrate,

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whose irreproachable life was a proverb in all the courts

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of France. Advocates, young counselors, judges had saluted, bowing low

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in token of profound respect, remembering that grand face, pale

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and thin, illumined by two bright, deep set eyes. He

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had passed his life in pursuing crime and in protecting

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the weak. Swindlers and murderers had no more redoubtable enemy,

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for he seemed to read in the recesses of their

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soul their most secret thoughts. He was dead now at

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the age of eighty two, honored by the homage and

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followed by the regrets of a whole people. Soldiers in

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red breeches had escorted him to the tomb, and men

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in white cravats had shed on his grave tears that

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seemed to be real. But listen to the strange paper

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found by the dismayed notary in the desk where the

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judge had kept filed the records of great criminals. It

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was entitled why June twentieth, eighteen fifty one I have

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just left court. I have condemned and Blondell to death.

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Now why did this man kill his five children? Frequently

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one meets with people to whom killing is a pleasure. Yes, yes,

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it should be a pleasure, the greatest of all, perhaps,

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for is not killing most like creating? To make and

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to destroy? These two words contain the history of the universe,

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the history of all worlds, all that is all. Why

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is it not intoxicating to kill? June twenty fifth, To

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think that there is a being who lives, who walks,

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who runs? A being? What is a being? An animated

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thing which bears in it the principle of motion and

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a will? Ruling that principle, it clings to nothing, this thing,

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its feet are independent of the ground. It is a

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grain of life that moves on the earth. And this

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grain of life coming I know not. Whence one can

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destroy at one's will, then nothing, nothing more, It perishes,

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It is finished. June twenty sixth. Why then, is it

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a crime to kill? Yes? Why? On the contrary, it

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is the law of nature. Every being has the mission

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to kill. He kills to live, and he lives to kill.

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The beast kills without ceasing all day, every instant of

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its existence, man kills without ceasing to nourish himself. But

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since in addition he needs to kill for pleasure, he

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has invented the chase. The child kills the insects, he finds,

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the little birds, all the little animals that come in

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his way. But this does not suffice for the irresistible

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need of man massacre that is in us. It is

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not enough to kill beasts. We must kill man. Too

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long ago this need was satisfied by human sacrifice. Now

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the necessity of living in society has made murder a crime.

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We condemn and punish the assassin. But as we cannot

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live without yielding to this natural and imperious instinct of death,

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we relieve ourselves from time to time by wars. Then

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a whole nation slaughters another nation. It is a feast

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of blood, a feast that maddens armies and intoxicates the civilians,

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women and children who read by lamplight at night, the

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feverish story of massacre. And do we despise those picked

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out to accomplish these butcheries of men? No, they are

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loaded with honors. They are clad in gold and in

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resplendent stuffs. They wear plumes on their heads and ornaments

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on their breasts, and they are given crosses, rewards, titles

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of every kind. They are proud, respected, loved by women,

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cheered by the crowd, solely because their mission is to

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shed human blood. They drag through the streets their instruments

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of death, and the passer by clad in black looks

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on with envy. For to kill is the great law

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put by nature in the heart of existence. There is

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nothing more beautiful and honorable than killing. June thirtieth. To

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kill is the law. Because nature loves eternal youth. She

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seems to cry in all her unconscious acts, quick, quick, quick.

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The more she destroys, the more she renews herself. July second.

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It must be a pleasure, unique and full of zest,

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to kill, to place before you a living, thinking being,

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to make therein a little hole nothing but a little whole,

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and to see that red liquid flow which is the blood,

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which is the life, and then to have before you

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only a heap of limp flesh, cold, inert, void of thought.

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August fifth, I, who have passed my life in judging,

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condemning killing by words, pronounced killing by the guillotine, Those

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who had killed by the knife. If I should do

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as all the assassins whom I have smitten have done,

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I I who would know it? August tenth? Who would

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ever know? Who would ever suspect me? Especially if I

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should choose a being? I had no interest in doing

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away with August twenty second. I could resist no longer.

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I have killed a little creature as an experiment, as

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a beginning. Jean, my servant, had a goldfinch in a

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cage hung in the office window. I sent him on

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an errand, and I took the little bird in my hand.

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In my hand where I felt its heart beat. It

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was warm. I went up to my room. From time

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to time I squeezed it tighter, its heart beat faster.

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It was atrocious and delicious. I was nearly choking it,

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but I could not see the blood. Then I took scissors,

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short nail scissors, and I cut its throat in three

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strokes quite gently. It opened its bill. It struggled to

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escape me, but I held it. Oh, I held it.

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I could have held a mad dog. And I saw

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the blood trickle. And then I did as assassins do

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real ones. I washed the scissors and washed my hands.

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I sprinkled water, and took the body, the corpse to

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the garden to hide it. I buried it under a

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strawberry plant. It will never be found. Every day I

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can eat a strawberry from that plant. How one can

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enjoy life when one knows how? My servant cried, he

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thought his bird flown? How could he suspect me? Ah,

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August twenty fifth, I must kill a man, I must

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August thirtieth. It is done. But what a little thing.

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I had gone for a walk in the forest of Verne.

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I was thinking of nothing, literally nothing. See a child

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on the road, A little child eating a slice of

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bread and butter. He stops to see me pass and says,

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good day, mister President. And the thought enters my head.

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Shall I kill him? I answer, you are alone, my boy, yes, sir,

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all alone in the wood, Yes, sir. The wish to

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kill him intoxicated me like wine. I approached him quite softly,

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persuaded that he was going to run away, and suddenly

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I seized him by the throat. He held my wrists

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in his little hands, and his body writhed like a

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feather on the fire. Then he moved no more. I

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threw the body in the ditch than some weeds on

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top of it. I returned home and dined. Well, what

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a little thing it was. In the evening, I was

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very gay, light, rejuvenated, and passed the evening at the prefects.

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They found me witty. But I have not seen blood.

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I am not tranquil. August thirty first, the body has

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been discovered. They are hunting for the assassin. Ah. September first,

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two tramps have been arrested. Proofs are lacking. September two,

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the parents have been to see me. They wept. Ah.

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October sixth nothing has been discovered. Some strolling vagabond must

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have done the deed. Ah. If I had seen the

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blood flow, it seems to me I should be tranquil. Now.

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October tenth yet another I was walking by the river

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after breakfast, and I saw under a willow a fisherman asleep.

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It was noon. A spade, as if expressly put there

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for me, was standing in a potato field near by.

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I took it, I returned. I raised it like a club,

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and with one blow of the edge, I cleft the

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fisherman's head. Oh, he bled this one rose colored blood.

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It flowed into the water quite gently. And I went

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away with a grave step. If I had been seen, ah,

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I should have made an excellent assassin. October twenty fifth,

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the affair of the fisherman makes a great noise. His nephew,

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who fished with him, is charged with the murder. October

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twenty sixth, the examining magistrate affirms that the nephew is guilty.

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Everybody in town believes it ah Ah. October twenty seventh,

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the nephew defends himself badly. He had gone to the

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village to buy bread and cheese, he declares. He swears

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that his uncle had been killed in his absence. Who

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would believe him? October twenty eighth. The nephew has all

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but confessed. So much have they made him lose his head? Ah?

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Justice November fifteenth. There are overwhelming proofs against the nephew,

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who was his uncle's heir. I shall preside at the

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sessions January twenty fifth, eighteen fifty two. To death, to death,

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to death. I have had him condemned to death. The

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Advocate General spoke like an angel, Ah yet another. I

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shall go to see him executed. March tenth. It is done.

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They guillotined him this morning he died very well, very well.

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That gave me pleasure. How fine it is to see

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a man's head cut off? Now I shall wait, I

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can wait. It would take such a little thing to

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let myself be caught. The manuscript contained more pages, but

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told of no new crime. Alienist physicians, to whom the

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awful story has been submitted, declare that there are in

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the world many unknown madmen as adroit and as terrible

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as this monstrous, lunatic End of the Diary of a

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Madman