Speaker 1: Certain geniuses can't work in the confines of normal societal
structures of organization.
Speaker 2: That's true.
Speaker 1: Uh, Stephen Hawking and Bree have a lot in common.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, Howard, uh.
Speaker 1: Howard Hughes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know you You could
think that pissing in milk bottles and scattering them around
your room and kind of haphazard ways so they spill
and soak the carpet and piss would be crazy.
Speaker 2: But no, it's just genius.
Speaker 1: Hi, Hello, and welcome to another brand spanking new episode
of another below Deck podcast. My name is Dylan. I'm
sidled up next to one Patrick Hickey.
Speaker 2: Permission to come aboard granted.
Speaker 1: Hey, Hey, how are you good? Hot?
Speaker 2: Very hot?
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. We had a we had a heat wave.
I don't want to say unprecedented in Los Angeles, but
maybe unprecedented.
Speaker 2: It's uh yeah, I think for a full week of
it being palm springs in Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's miserable. I feel bad if people are like, oh,
we got you complaining about your waiter.
Speaker 1: Oh, come come on, come on into Los Angeles and
I stand. I stood outside in Woodland Hills for three
minutes on Sunday. I almost died. Yeah, I almost wasted
away right there on the spot and die m So
I haven't had power for two days.
Speaker 2: You're going to talk about it on another podcast.
Speaker 1: We're gonna break down the whole thing at patreon dot
com slash another podcast show.
Speaker 2: Here's another couple of plugs. So we wrapped up our
coverage of the Batch arette. What a season it was
not It was kind of horrible, okay, but we made
it funny.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the podcast and so on the.
Speaker 2: Bad TV feed, which you could possibly be listening to
this coverage of Below Deck on we're going to be
covering the Golden Bachelorette that's next week and that will
be free, so you can hear us there. But you
gotta share it. You got to tell friends about how
funny we are. We got to grow that show and
then we'll not put it behind a paywall, and if
you don't, we'll put it behind a bag.
Speaker 1: We'll kill you. Oh.
Speaker 2: One last plug. This is going to be coming down
the pike a little bit last weekend. Here we had
two Sea Rats. We had Kyle from the last season
of Below Deck o G and then we had Alex
from the last season of sailing. Yeah, really fun.
Speaker 1: I'm so excited. That was a great interview, a great
time with the boys.
Speaker 2: We played a game called did a World Leader say it?
Or a Sea Rat?
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's a game where we say a quote
and then the sea rats had to guess whether or
not it was a World Leader or sea rat. That'll
be out this Thursday. Love you guys very much. Stay
tuned for Deadline. Let's get into the episode. Wow.
Speaker 2: I want to say this must have been a great
episode for you just because there there was lots of
food for these Ohio swingers. I mean, I feel like
we had like five meals.
Speaker 1: Can I say something?
Speaker 2: Sure?
Speaker 1: I understand that one of one of my kind of
brand pillars is culinary expert. That's right, right.
Speaker 2: You broke down my birthday dinner amazingly well quite rude, Lee,
you know, but you're an expert expert.
Speaker 1: I gotta tell you, I haven't slept in I have
not slept in two days, so I don't know what
this show is going to be. I am delirious. Okay,
the way that the food world is going right now?
You know what with effic sex is the bear and
all the people on TikTok. I'm I'm so fed up
with are.
Speaker 2: You getting sick of food?
Speaker 1: Completely sick of food? Now, with that being said, I'll
show up that in hand and I'll swing at every
pitch that comes my way. But yeah, no, I didn't
break down every same thing because there was a lot
of food. But yeah no, these people were lovely. We
hate when people are lovely. This episode was not great.
We're winding down, we have you know, kind of I've
referenced it numerous times. The film Insomnia with al Pacino,
Robin Williams serial killer chases him across a bunch of
logs and almost dies. Righteah, Ellie is spiraling further into
her al Pacino. I mean she's going to sprout eyebrows
and a bad coke habit soon. I mean, she's just
she's firing on all cylinders. That was a lot of fun,
the gale breakdown at the end. I'm excited to get there. Either.
Alcohol really brings your emotional walls.
Speaker 2: Yes, they do. They get you emotional. Yeah, Gail zero pots. Okay,
I'm talking to Gail. She says she's going to come
on the pod. I think we should say screw you
to Bravo and not ask permission.
Speaker 1: We're at war with Bravo right now, right now.
Speaker 2: The only reason we're hanging on to a relationship with them,
quite frankly, is because I like the early screeners. I
can't watch this on a Monday night with everybody else.
I need to watch it on a Friday.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, it makes us feel very important exactly.
So it's our whole little digital red carpet every Friday morning.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you want to know how to keep me
in line, get me a screener. But I may break
that and get Gail on because I want to hear
what's going on with her.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: The other thing I was going to say, Oh, we.
Speaker 1: Got to find out what happened with the love story
between her on day thing.
Speaker 2: Something tells me it didn't work out them.
Speaker 1: What would that be?
Speaker 2: I follow her on Instagram? Okay, So my other note
is Carrie, the newest addition to the c Rat squad.
I'm not sure if I like her too much, because
she proclaimed pretty early on in the episode that you know,
she doesn't like to trade in the backstabbing or the.
Speaker 1: Drama of the boat dropped a couple of times, and
then when.
Speaker 2: She gets Kermit alone, She's like, hey, that Balkan broad
over there when you weren't around. You know that lady
that made a dollhouse out of dead bodies or whatnot. Anyway,
she kicked me off drink service.
Speaker 1: Well she made the dollhouse out of charred dwellings and
then the dolls were kind.
Speaker 2: Of sewn right. Well yeah, well anyway, that's what care
we said, and I carry. I don't like you because
you can be a backstabbing, cutthroat sea rat, but don't
try and be above the fray.
Speaker 1: No, don't wipe rangel zero knots. I mean, there's nothing
worse than a white rangel. He comes in with his
eagle Zord and he lays down on the tracks for
the kids that he hops on top, and it's the
megazord wings and then we're off into space fighting. The
used man Tommy hatches the plan to send him into
a comment and he's the one that saves the day.
Don't be above the.
Speaker 2: Frey, don't be above the frank.
Speaker 1: Carry.
Speaker 2: Okay, you're a sea rat. Jesus Christ, let me know
if you like us to kick this off.
Speaker 1: I would like to let you know right now that
I'd like us to kick it off.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, So with the interior now firing on
all cylinders, now we got carry there. So we got
four stews, you know, making things happen on the boat.
We began with the episode with Kermit living the good
life of upper management. You know that we should all
enjoy when you finally attain that golden pedestal, your upper management.
Speaker 1: Can you say that again?
Speaker 2: What's that?
Speaker 1: Can you say the whole thing one more time?
Speaker 2: Well, I just set it off the top of my head,
I do.
Speaker 1: Oh really yeah, oh bumber, What was the gist?
Speaker 2: Well, I'm saying upper management. Oh, Kermit is enjoying upper management.
You know, you got your feet up on a table,
you're eating at your desk, You're looking at porn on
your work compewter while your underlings are doing all the work.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what everyone should aspire to. And let us
supervise get in.
Speaker 1: The comments, let us know if you've masturbated at work before.
That's now. I was always like, who, you know, I'm
always so scared of getting caught at anything, you know,
I mean, the boss is looking at the IP address
or I'm gonna get caught you know. I got caught
stealing from a seven to eleven when I was like
six years old. You know those little drops of breath
freshener things.
Speaker 2: Oh sure, I forget what those are called. Yeah, banaka butka, no,
it's not that's what it's called. Really hit the back
of your tongue with that. I did a rap one
time where I was like, hit the back of the
tongue because that's where the bad breath from. Uh. You know,
a lot of like stuff hangs out on the back
of your tongue.
Speaker 1: When you did a rap one time, what do you.
Speaker 2: Writing a rap song about bad breath? And that was
the first line?
Speaker 1: Was it for a commercial?
Speaker 2: To make my wife laugh?
Speaker 1: That's cute?
Speaker 2: Thanks naka.
Speaker 1: I I tried to steal one of those things. The
presumably Indian man stopped me dead in my tracks and
was like, you can't steal, child, And my dad was
standing right next to me. He said, what are you doing?
He was disappointed in my lack of stealth, And ever
since that day, I've been very, very afraid of authority,
uh huh, including Miss Wasserman, my junior high school principal,
who every time I had to sit across from her.
I just cried like a bitch because she was a bitch.
She was so mean.
Speaker 2: You're bringing this up because.
Speaker 1: I have not slept in two days. Okay. So Asha
begins the episode sitting down. She really is enjoying the
the grapes of upper management. Now we have to get
to Joe and Gail. This does not go well.
Speaker 2: Well, she shares it. She thinks that Joe has been
a dick lately, right yeah, and we get a look
back on his greatest dick moments.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not a fan of Joe, No me,
neither me neither. Joe is a necessary element to the cast.
He is a cog that keeps this machine running to
wherever it's running aground somewhere. But I'm not a fan.
Speaker 2: I must say I don't like him as a fan,
but he's good TV.
Speaker 1: Great TV. So he tells her, and this is case
in point why me and Pat aren't huge fans of
Groud show. She tells him that he's been a dick
for weeks, and he says it's on your head and
then delivers, you know, our favorite apology. I'm sorry you
feel that way.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry you feel that way yeah, which isn't really
an apology at all.
Speaker 1: No, it's not. Okay. So we get to dinner, very demure,
very Grecian. While we prep for dinner, though, Ellie second
students the New Girl, Irish Last Scottish Lass Carrie, Carrie, Carrie, Okay.
Speaker 2: I want to grab the balk and Biscuit by the
I don't know the shirt collar and say, look, Biscuit,
she's not taking your job wiping pubes off a toilet's see, Okay,
although some people go to school for six years to
learn how to do that, I believe you are safe.
Speaker 1: Well, and here's where I believe that Carrie was in
fact above the fray. She said, you know, we're hanging
happy birthday wreaths from a ninety nine cent store in crete.
I'm not gonna get into a fight over this, that's right, right.
It's like decorating at preschool right now. But it's a
yacht for people who are paying exorbitant amounts of money.
Speaker 2: Yeah. The disgusting part about all this is I believe
Carrie's kind of acting out because Kermit makes her feel
like a star, right, and so it makes you feel good, right,
you gotta keep I guess in their good grace.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean Gollum in the ring, you know. Okay,
so we've got a Colossuh what is it called a colossal?
No colonoscopy? Ah scheduled? Yeah, have you had one?
Speaker 2: Not yet?
Speaker 1: I'm going to I get them all the time, Oh
do you? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Well, can I do a Meanwhile.
Speaker 1: Here I call the doctor, I say, and need another
one of those. He goes what he's talking about. You've
had three in the last year. I go give me
another one?
Speaker 2: Better safe than sorry.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I say, I'm trying to look after my health.
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, Jonah tells us after.
Speaker 1: A better charter, that was an awkward lull right there.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, it was fine. Okay, I think you
should share more about that.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: Jonah tells us that he's had a couple of bad charters,
but he'll rise out of the ashes like a phoenix
and serve stale cookies with ice cream bottom. Yeah, yeah,
because that's what the phoenix.
Speaker 1: And uh yeah, phoenix is. When they're in culinary capacities,
usually deliver desserts that are prepackaged, and that's just what
phoenixes do. They've got more important shit going on, working
for Dumbledore saving Harry C. S Lewis shit. I don't
even you know. It's like I can't be bothered with
dessert right now, But what our phoenix can be bothered
with is tomatoes stuff with seasoned rice and whipped fata.
Now this is again, I'll say, very demure, have you
seen that?
Speaker 2: Which one?
Speaker 1: So the tomatoes are. It's a very laborious endeavor. I
would imagine stuffing cherry tomatoes with rice. One would ask
is it worth it? I can imagine it being an
extremely challenging task to net out what essentially amounts to
a bunch of wilted little pieces of bullshit on top
of a whipped feta. But these date nights suck it
up like they do their spaghetti and chili. Yeah they enjoy,
Yeah they really did. We've got a delicate little doodle
on the on the plate too, and and all joking aside.
While it was lacking any awe hm, it did have
a lovely composition to the plate. So I would say,
four pots, four pots, yeah, Jonah, marvelous stuff for Jonah.
Interior heads out to pick up the toys and the
DJ and we get our second course pistachio crusted lamb,
very lacquered. Usually when something is sopping like that, it's
hiding something, maybe the cook. Maybe it's been sitting in
the fridge for a couple of days. It's got a
trick and nothing covers up trichinosis like some kind of
pomegranate molasses. You know, everybody says that if you're out
in the wilderness and you stumble upon a bear, I'm
not going to get into it. Well, it's not a
survival podcast. We have that at Patriot Dot Cops. Actually,
the podcast one shows thea pat will tell you how
to do things with flint and how to find north
and other things.
Speaker 2: So any more food at dinner, No, it's.
Speaker 1: Just dicks and forearms. Meanwhile, meanwhile, the guests do a
silent disco because when you book this vacation you have
to worry about music licensing.
Speaker 2: That's right, Yeah, they got cameras around. Can't be playing
music that's not licensed. I'd argue, why not just pay
for the music because it's very awkward when you see
these people jumping around with headphones on. I want to
make another note about DJs.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 2: In Los Angeles, Uh, there's a street called Sunset Boulevard
and I drive on it very often, very popular street
with billboards advertising whatever new movies are coming out. And
Vegas owns quite a few billboards on Sunset Bulevard and
they often promote DJs that will be performing at the
various clubs. And one thing I've noticed about the pictures,
because they always have the pictures of the DJs, every
single one of them is fifty eight years old. Is
there anything? Are there any twenty three year olds still
in the DJ biz?
Speaker 1: No? I think that the world's biggest DJs right now.
I think it's sixty to seventy percent of the cast
in New Jersey Shore.
Speaker 2: Oh, there you go. And then Tiesto at Club Rate, Yes,
and then old Europeans who have definitely trafficked in.
Speaker 1: Do I want to say this? Bleep it? And then no,
I'm not gonna. I was gonna say no. Yeah, they've
harvested the spinal fluid of children.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, a VJA at Club Palm and.
Speaker 1: A VJ is dead.
Speaker 2: He's dead.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right, So don't per me. It's all well,
it is all over. Yeah, very tragic, bad, bad, bad,
bad dose of coke. I think No, I think he
got hit by a car. Oh really, I'm not sure.
Speaker 2: I think it was a drug overdose. You think I
think so?
Speaker 1: Maybe suicide.
Speaker 2: I don't think that was it. I'll look it up.
Speaker 1: You keep going all of them.
Speaker 2: I Meanwhile, Garret shows shares with Jonah that you know
she might be headed to Prague with Nathan.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it was suicide. Oh it was yeah.
Speaker 2: Oh man. You know Denzel Washington told Will Smith after
you know he moronically slapped Chris Rock on national television.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well he was talking about Jada.
Speaker 2: At your greatest moment, that's when the devil will come
for you. People got to watch out for that. Just
live a mediocre life, surely you'll be way happier.
Speaker 1: And we just want to take this moment to apologize
for all the things she said about Vichy in that
mental health is a very very real thing. And if
you're struggling with that, call one eight hundred, I just
google it. Yeah, it's Google someday. It's something like that. So, yeah,
Joe is putting the mac down on Carrie and Gil's
going to Prague.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and during the club time, the ball can Biscuit
asks Carrie to do dishes and she lets us know,
her back hurts from carrying this whole goddamn team all season.
It's interesting people's perception of their place in an organization.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Yeah, are you saying that she's incorrect in that?
Speaker 2: I would Yes, that's what I would say, got it.
Speaker 1: Uh. Carrie is asked to make some drinks. Ellie asks
her not to make those drinks, and she begins to spiral.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: She says that she thought that there was somebody coming
on to just float and now she's starting to, you know,
kind of wind herself up a little bit. You know,
Asha's betrayed me, Asia cares not for me, I'm in
love with Joe again.
Speaker 2: All this stuff, it's crazy. And then that's when Carrie
proclaims that she's seen a lot of Sea Rat drama
in the past and she wants no part of it.
Speaker 1: Let's get to the next morning.
Speaker 2: Breeze got beads nice?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, it's.
Speaker 2: Nice to know what twenty eight year old needs with
my child needs to help her pick her shoes out
in the morning.
Speaker 1: Color coordination, Yeah, well, you know, certain geniuses can't work
in the confines of normal societal structures of organization.
Speaker 2: That's true.
Speaker 1: Uh, Stephen Hawking and Bree have a lot in common.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, howd uh.
Speaker 1: Howard Hughes, Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know you You could
think that pissing in milk bottles and scattering them around
your room and kind of haphazard ways so they spill
and soak the carpet and piss would be crazy. But no,
it's just genius. That's what's another example of genius.
Speaker 2: Let me see her.
Speaker 1: In the gardens roast chicken, right, so she'll she'll scream
at Jeffrey and call him a bitch, and then she'll
meet you. You would say, oh, that's mean, but it's not.
It's genius. After she completely emasculates her her Southampton husband, I.
Speaker 2: Love Jeffrey, she gets to go on and jeff wants
an omelet.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Jeffrey's chained in the basement. And when the omelet's ready,
he will be unshackled, makeup will be put on, he'll
get in his j crew and he'll come up and
eat the hamlet and say you've done it again. Because
if he doesn't, he's not gonna be appearing on the
next episode of Contessa.
Speaker 2: Ok. Yeah, all right, So these are always the worst
parts of the episode, and because it's not good for podcasting,
they do the inflatable relay race that took up about
eight minutes of this episode.
Speaker 1: The only thing from this was Joe hilariously saying, you know,
I have the confidence now of a of a bos
What is his position? He's lead deckhand, lead deckhand. I
have a confidence from this position, and and that's why
I'm gonna grab this by the reins and really excel
in the plane of communication with the guests, that being
getting with the primaries, looking at all the bullshit they've
set up in the ocean, and going, so, what do
you want to do with all this? You know, yes,
because before that Joe didn't have the confidence to be
able to do something.
Speaker 2: Like that, but now he does. Now he does well,
it was boring and I don't care who won, but
Nate throws the game in favor of a good tip.
Smart move there, set very smart. Now. Meanwhile, the Balkan
Biscuit continues to feel sidelined. After you know, I guess
Carrie coming in the boat and she's losing her drive.
And then then we have lunch, Dylan, and this is
where Kermit refers to John O as a quote unquote
yo yo, chef. Now, I'd like to tell Kermit you
can just say he's inconsistent. There's actually a word for that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and his name's JOHNA, not Jana.
Speaker 2: Did I say John O?
Speaker 1: Sorry?
Speaker 2: God man?
Speaker 1: Should you just talk? Should you?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: It's stomach stomach hot.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll be like the Balkan biscuit. I'll I'll carry
this team. So Carrie was batting about a thousand until
she started trading in that sea rat drama she claims
to dislike so much. At this moment, she tells Kermit
that Ellie wants to do everything herself and it's kind
of Boston her around behind the scenes.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, she dies.
Speaker 2: This is this is true sea rat behavior on exhibit here.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, it's really sad. Lunch is served. It's a
lobster salad, which is a discussing combination of words. Lobster
salad will of course be minced bug meat, folded in
with mayonnaise and some kind of herb miss me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I've asked you this for how do
you feel about a lobster role? Is that? I know
you hate sea bugs, so I guess that's.
Speaker 1: A dumb question.
Speaker 2: No for me, it's a note for you. Have you
ever had a lobster role?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't. I mean I've never had any on
the on the cape or anything like that.
Speaker 2: That's right, But well, I used to make him when
I was a dishwasher at whether he'd seafood. It's pretty delicious,
but that was many, many years ago, and it was
much fresher seafood.
Speaker 1: And when you say you used to make them while
you were washing dishes, what did you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, when no one was looking, I'd just go over
to the boiler area, I'd pull out the lobster meat
and make myself a lobsterll and then hide under a
metal table and scarf it down.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: I used to also go in the freezer room where
they had the desserts. I'd go in there and I
just start stuff in my face with cheesecakes, steal French
fries too, go in.
Speaker 1: There and eat.
Speaker 2: You eat in the freezer or the refrigerator. When you're
an employee, that's how you get away with it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, those were tough days, huh.
Speaker 2: I enjoyed it, okay, Yeah, I liked I liked to
work in there.
Speaker 1: Because the image of you kind of cowering under a table,
cramming food in your faces.
Speaker 2: Well, it's because I didn't want to get in trouble
because I didn't want to pay for it, and it
wasn't my break. And they had laws that you weren't
supposed to eat in a place we were preparing food,
So I was breaking all sorts of rules.
Speaker 1: Oh well, bad boy. Yeah, Carlos Santana rips comes on
when you walk into work, here comes.
Speaker 2: But so I can do it.
Speaker 1: Meanwhile, well, one of the ohion says, if you touch
that sound, I'll kill you. Okay, so Carrie and Asia.
Carrie drops a dime here, We covered it. Ellie isn't
sure what it is about Joe, but he keeps sucking
her back in I think by calling her a bitch.
Oh no, she called him a bitch. Whatever the details are,
it's insane to fall for this guy. Yeah, he's uh.
He's insulted you to your face and behind your back
numerous times.
Speaker 2: I think he's uh. He's utilizing a evolutionary kind of
what would the word be, basically just an evolutionary reality,
which is when you play hard to get because you're
emotionally unavailable that can be attractive to some people.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, he's got.
Speaker 2: Three of these sa rats chasing after him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's pretty astounding. That was a loud sip.
Speaker 2: Huh No, I didn't hear it at all. Okay, great,
all right, let me do it meanwhile, Yeah, meanwhile, I
think we're gonna head back to the dock. Ian explains
why it's dangerous parking a boat at night, and it's because,
according to Ian, it's dark. Can someone explain to him
that everyone would like to know why two plus two
equals for I'm sure he can explain that.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure if we had Terrence Howard here,
he would, you know, really throw a wrench into that
whole thing, something that we once thought to be so simple.
And then you have, you know, Copernicus, like innovators, Yes,
like Ian and Terrence Howard.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: You remember the guy from Iron Man that got fired?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, he was a pain in the ass
I heard.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, talented actor.
Speaker 2: Though, Oh yes, hustle and flow.
Speaker 1: Hustle and flow.
Speaker 2: He said he didn't even like brap music when he
took the role. Yeah, his favorite artist is James Taylor.
I always remember that.
Speaker 1: Oh really, yeah, going to Carolina in my mind. Good lord, Okay.
Speaker 2: Now, Dylan, we jumped to dinner. Yes, I feel bad
because there's a lot of heavy lifting for you.
Speaker 1: That's okay. There's nothing to lift heavily about barrata and tomatoes. Okay.
Speaker 2: He puts that fucking weird dust on the steak again too.
Speaker 1: Whatever that is? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Is that salt? What is that pink stuff?
Speaker 1: I believe it's some kind of eviscerated beetroot, dried and
eviscerated beetroot. But I'm not sure. I get in the comments.
Let us know, tomatoes and barrata is something that it's
done a lot. Oh, yes, yes, people, you know it's
a very very easy thing to make, if you're not
scratch making the barata, which is a very painstaking process,
what with putting the fragile curd into the shell of
a firmer cheese. But Giano's not doing that. Ghana's ripping
open a ripping open a package and throwing it out
of plate and then cutting tomatoes, which a mongoloid could do,
and then saying here, eat it. So I wouldn't impress
he would.
Speaker 2: Impress, Hey, dil today, I went into subway get my lunch.
You know, I'd like to have an avocado sandwich, and
the line was out the door, so I was pissed.
I was in a rush, so I went to this
coffee shop next door. I never had one of these.
It was called a pizzetta. It was a pizza on
a croissant. It was the best damn thing I've ever
eaten in my life. I'm going back tomorrow.
Speaker 1: That's a fatty.
Speaker 2: It was fatty. I did not like it. It was very
it was a very small portion, so I allowed myself okay,
but it looked like basically a croissant cut in half
and then they basically put a pizza.
Speaker 1: On top of it. Well, here's my thing. It's it's
I don't judge anybody eating whatever food you want to eat,
but for you specifically, it was just surprising to me
that you would come anywhere near a croissant.
Speaker 2: Well that's true, but I was in a rush. Like
I said, in the subway had people out the door,
so I didn't get to have my normal fare, so
I ate a little unhealthy.
Speaker 1: You know, the crummy thing about subway is that it's
it's not Dantana's it's not musson franks. If a day
is jammed, there's really no favor you can curry with
the doorman of the nitre d. You have to wait
in line like everybody else. Do get food, kill us
with you. We talked about it last, We've talked about
it recently. Subways serves salmonilla vegetables. I fricked us corn syrup. Man.
Speaker 2: Did you know the tuna fish doesn't even have fish
in it?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, it's just warm plastic bags of flesh. And
it's kind of expensive too. I mean, if you ever
have the the privilege of seeing them swap out a
meat that you want, oh yeah, you'll never go again.
Because it's essentially like there's a body processing plant in
the back and they're just bringing in bags of fucking
carrying meat and charging you twenty dollars to eat it
on yoga mats.
Speaker 2: I went to the veggie grill this week. Gosh, yeah,
that menu is amazing. I gonna try everything on it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm proud of you, man. So they loved it, Yeah,
they loved it. Synchronized filet and asparagus is dropped next.
It always cks me out a little bit. The synchronized drop.
It's very you know, it feels very amateur hour to me. Okay,
but it it reminds me of like a fourth grade
play version of synch service, you know what I mean.
So it's just kind of like you don't have to
do that though, right, But listen, Johno's killing a timeshare
even checks in and Johno gets amazing marks from the guests.
Asia goes down starts a drooling like a fucking working
line German shepherd eating that fucking frozen or the opposite
of frozen. It was hot.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I don't think we'll ever get Captain Sandy to
come in here, like it wouldn't be an easy interview
for her. I would ask her though, because she has
to get a lot of shit for disrupting dinners to
go down there and ask them how dinner is? Does
she in fact with this would be the question are
you doing it because you haven't been on camera all
day and this is the only chance.
Speaker 1: Because billion years you're way too scared of confrontation. You
would never ask that question.
Speaker 2: I'd like the back and forth with her.
Speaker 1: God, I want this interview schedule. If we interviewed Sandy,
would I be good cop and you'd be bad cop?
Or would we have two bad cops?
Speaker 2: Oh wow, You're always the bad cop and I'm the
good cop a little bit. Yeah, Like when we had
Kyle and Alex in here last week, I didn't want
to call them sea rats to their face, right, you
reveled it?
Speaker 1: Well, there's sea rats. Let me tell you something. If
a flamingo walked in here, would you call it an elephant?
Can you tell? Can you tell how insane I am
right now? Can you tell how dumb I am? Right?
Speaker 2: No, Dylan, your genius is all about Oh wow, all right,
are we done with dinner?
Speaker 1: Absolutely? We end with some chat about how Gale hates Joe,
and we get to the next day.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, yeah, all right, let's see Nate attempts to
find a balance between bros versus host. Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Next morning, before the tip meeting, Carrie and Ellie have
a little tip. Ellie needlessly bosses Carrie around and then
breaks down the Joe drown.
Speaker 2: The dynamic of the boat in the boat man's.
Speaker 1: And she slips in a little thing that is very
very purposeful. Ellie's horny, h And because Ellie's horny, she
is trying to pull a little Dennis Rodman on Carrie,
So trying to box around. Ah. She's trying to tell her,
do not come for him. And she says that by
saying I still care for him.
Speaker 2: Ah. Yes, that's the language I think of women that
I wouldn't understand because I go, oh, what happened with
you and that girl? And then you if you go
and we made it out a little bit, and you
seem like you don't care that much, you say I
still care for that's you give me the green light
to porker. That's the difference between men and women.
Speaker 1: Dill Oh, that's the difference between you and pork It's
just revolting.
Speaker 2: Pork tip meeting Sandy couldn't be happier. Positive vibes all
around the tip. You'll never guess it's twenty thousand dollars.
Do they even need to mention the tip anymore? Every
single tip this season has been twenty thousand dollars?
Speaker 1: Hey, can we get a bad tip? Please? Can we
get just a disastrous charter and bad tip? Please?
Speaker 2: Well, this is becoming a very unnecessary exercise. And they
tried to the monotony of it. They tried to break
it up by not letting us know what that would
break down each sea rat in usd Instead, they chose Euros.
I see what you're doing there, and I'm not entertained.
Speaker 1: So we get to a meeting, a different kind of meeting.
Speaker 2: Is this Carmit and Carrie catching up a pre friend
sheet may Ah Stacey.
Speaker 1: And Brad Stacey and Brad lovely couple that Asia has
worked with before. I think they were a nightmare and
they fought now.
Speaker 2: I think so. I think I remember one of the
dudes that I saw in the.
Speaker 1: Trailer, Yeah, I think there was an argument over.
Speaker 2: Now these aren't the guys that we interviewed, one of
them being alex Is. Now are you sure?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Positive?
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, anyway.
Speaker 1: They get They're fun, they're ready to kill it. They're
going to do drag queens. We're going to see the
whole thing next week, carrying Ellie get ready together. Carrie
gets a shit stain for her trouble, and then we
get to Gail. She is being treated by Nathan in
ways that her ex didn't thoughts.
Speaker 2: Well hold on. Gail shared she never felt like her
ex that she cheated on was a priority, but Nate
keeps her as a priority. So I want to talk
to Gail. And you know, Gail, I think you probably
listened to the podcast. This is a new segment called
Pat's Life Lessons. Here's Paths Life lesson. New is always
better for about ten minutes. It's because new means you
haven't caught them picking their nose, they haven't said they'd
be at home at ten but then get home at
four in the morning. New is better. You shouldn't wax
poetic about new relationships until it's not new, right, don't
sing the praises of the new person until you've been
with them for five months, because in my opinion, you
don't know a person until you've been with them for
three months, and that means a lot of time.
Speaker 1: I would I would say longer than that. But yes,
it's you have to look at men like Skadoo's. Yeah,
you're gonna get bored with the news Skadoo eventually, eventually.
While it's new, it's fun, right, it's fun. But what
you have to do is you have to find the
kind of the kind of character and principle within the
jet ski that aligns with your love and then and
only then will you ride the waves of monogamy successfully.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well put things well anyway. Yeah, I'm curious if
Gail's still with Nathan. I don't think they're together.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, hopefully we'll talk to Gil. So the more
Joe gets to know Carry, the more cooler she is.
Quote from him, Joe runs through the women on the
boat like, I don't.
Speaker 2: Know these are his options.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean Joe, Joe has gone and after it's
basically anyone who is walking and who is not already
committed to somebody. So Gail is with Nathan, Asia is
with somebody else, and Sandy is a lesbian. If she
wasn't give it a shot, he would absolutely give it
a shot. So if you have legs and I'm not
gonna keep going. But and that's not a comment. That's
not a commentary on the aesthetic of any of the women.
Everybody's beautiful on the show, but everybody it's tea. I'm
no prize, so yeah, me, neither Jesus Christ. So the
more Joe said that, it's allergies too. You know, we
we had to stay at at the parents' house. It's
a foreign room. Yeah, you wake up and you go
what particulates have I inhaled.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, yeah, the bed sheets probably been washed
in the years. You could be breathing that in right.
Speaker 1: Exactly. What happened to me last night is similar to
what happened to the aliens and War of the worlds.
Speaker 2: Oh oh, they died because they couldn't breathe our ear
or drink our water.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they caught a cold.
Speaker 2: You think they would have sent an initial team out
to test that before they started walking around among.
Speaker 1: These aliens are such fucking morons.
Speaker 2: I mean, you have all the technology to have weapons
of mass destruction land on our planet. No one checked
to make sure that they could live here it was sustainable.
And that's what That's a real hole in the plot.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what happens when you kind of get this bloodlust.
I mean, look at Hitler didn't win.
Speaker 2: No tested the water.
Speaker 1: Yes, So the more Joe gets to know care, the
bore cooler she is. Just wanted to remind everybody that
he has said that, and that we've said that forty
five times, so it's.
Speaker 2: Very clear that oh, yeah, dinner, right now.
Speaker 1: We're at dinner. It's very clear that we're at dinner
right now. Ellie is saying that it's hard to fault
Carrie for anything. Hard isn't the word. I would say.
Speaker 2: She blames Kermit by the way.
Speaker 1: She does blame Kermit, but not all the way. I
would say. It's actually impossible to fault Carrie for anything
except dropping dimes. John O, and E and the responsible
boys head back to the boat for a little sleep
while the others had to an old haunt. This is
the place where Ellie and Joe hooked up for the
first time, and Ellie is attempting to pour it on
again with Joe. It is not working, she says, no
man his right mind would turn down a night with her. Well,
I mean, do you.
Speaker 2: Want to sleep with the guitar player from White Snake?
I guess yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean, if you were single, I would say that's true,
you know. But the issue is that Ellie does this
thing where Ellie says Joe is only interested in women
that are giving him attention, which is a little bit
of a of a a woman versus woman. It's woman
on woman crime a little bit. You get what I mean.
Speaker 2: I think.
Speaker 1: So, not only is it a backhanded compliment or a
backhanded attack at Carrie. Attack is a big word, but
it's a slight. It's also just factually incorrect because you're
giving him attention.
Speaker 2: You asked him on a date. He didn't want that attention.
Speaker 1: And we're not you know, I'm team Ellie all day,
over time, like the a lot. But you know, there's
some some fallacies here. So we get into the vans
after a quite anti clement Arctic evening at the club.
Speaker 2: He drops a little dime here.
Speaker 1: Yes, nothing like booking a plane ticket drunk.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's going to meet up with Nathan. Nathan and
not in Drogue, in Dublin. And those plans don't include Gail. No,
but I guess she's not a prosy toys.
Speaker 1: In her If Gail wants to come along, she's she's
fine to come along.
Speaker 2: No one likes to be a third wheel deal.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, and nobody likes to be propositioned for threesomes
with you know, one guy you like and one guy
that you absolutely hate, And that is for certain a
thing that would happen if the three of them went
to Dublin. They get back to the boat and Gail
breaks down in a manner that can only be described
as alcohol fueled, because this is you know, for all
for lack of a better word, completely fucking insane.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm hoping there was. It was just a misunderstanding.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but we'll see. Here's the thing. I know, people
fall hard. You know, I fell hard for my wife,
but he hasn't known each other for three and a
half weeks.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's lust, young Love's young lust. It's a fun thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a fun thing. You know what else is
a fun thing? This podcast. And if you think it's
a fun thing, get in the iTunes ratings, reviews, the
five stars, kind words. If you'd like to help us
support the show, go to Patreon dot comver session of
the podcast network. Donate a little or a little more.
Follow us on socials. Another below deck podcast, All those
places I'm Bill and say goodbye, Pat Say goodbye later, Dudes,
exact s, Distant sh