Speaker 1: You know, none of us can earn our way into
Speaker 1: heaven because eternal life is a free gift when you
Speaker 1: accept Jesus as the Lord of your life. Hey, everybody,
Speaker 1: this is Pastor Rick's Daily Hope, and today Rick Warren
Speaker 1: continues a series called Good News about Grace. You can't
Speaker 1: truly understand the Christian life until you understand grace. It's
Speaker 1: at the heart of your faith and your relationship with God.
Speaker 1: And in this series you're gonna discover how not to
Speaker 1: only understand grace, but how to experience it and the
Speaker 1: joy that it brings. All Right, here's part one of
Speaker 1: a message called Liberating Grace.
Speaker 2: I want to begin with a little self evaluation quiz
Speaker 2: this morning. Just don't raise your hand, but just consider
Speaker 2: the answers. How you'd answer these questions. Do you ever
Speaker 2: feel guilty when you relax? I said, don't answer knowing,
Speaker 2: and you've got a lot to do. You often feel
Speaker 2: dissatisfied or discontent with yourself or your situation. You have
Speaker 2: a tendency to see something wrong with things rather than
Speaker 2: what's right with it. Do you ever find yourself using
Speaker 2: these phrases regularly? I have to, I must, I ought to,
Speaker 2: I should be able to. Do you ever feel frustrated
Speaker 2: or maybe even angry at God, feeling that his expectations
Speaker 2: on you are unreasonable? Number six, does your relationship to
Speaker 2: God seem like a burden rather than a blessing? Now,
Speaker 2: if you can answer yes to any of these questions,
Speaker 2: you're probably afflicted with perfectionism. Perfectionism is trying to prove
Speaker 2: my worth by being perfect. It is a counterfeit of
Speaker 2: spiritual maturity. It's not the real thing. Trying to prove
Speaker 2: my worth by being perfect. And after years and years
Speaker 2: in ministry, it's my impression, my opinion, the perfectionism is
Speaker 2: the number one hang up of dedicated believers, dedicated Christians.
Speaker 2: You see, it happens like this when you first become
Speaker 2: a Christian and you understand what grace is all about.
Speaker 2: This is some deal. Wait a minute, let me get
Speaker 2: this right. I take all my sin, give it to God,
Speaker 2: and He gives me heaven forgiveness and power for today.
Speaker 2: I like that deal, and it's free. I don't earn
Speaker 2: my way into heaven. I don't work my way to heaven.
Speaker 2: I don't pay my way into heaven. I don't barter
Speaker 2: my way into heaven. Is just a free gift. And
Speaker 2: when you understand grace, you go, this is one great deal,
Speaker 2: and you start enjoying it. But inevitably what happens is,
Speaker 2: as time goes by, you start thinking this has got
Speaker 2: to be too good to be true. Really, I ought
Speaker 2: to help God out a little bit. Surely he expects
Speaker 2: something of me. Surely I need to do something to
Speaker 2: gain his smile, to gain his approval in my life,
Speaker 2: and you fall into one of two traps. Now there
Speaker 2: are two great enemies of grace. We've been in this
Speaker 2: series of grace for a number of weeks. Now there
Speaker 2: are two great enemies. One of them is legalism, trying
Speaker 2: to earn God's approval through rules, and the other's perfectionism,
Speaker 2: trying to prove my worth by being perfect. There's an
Speaker 2: entire book of the Bible written to combat these two
Speaker 2: enemies of grace. It's the Book of Galatians. And in
Speaker 2: the Book of Galatians, God says, when you try to
Speaker 2: earn God's smile on your life, you try to earn
Speaker 2: God's pat on the back God's approval. He says, that's
Speaker 2: dumb on your outline. The very first verse is Galatians
Speaker 2: Chapter three, Verse three. Let's read it aloud together. You
Speaker 2: began your life in Christ by the spirit. Now are
Speaker 2: you trying to make it complete by your own power?
Speaker 2: That is foolish, Because it's foolish. Now today, I want
Speaker 2: us to look at liberating grace, how to break out
Speaker 2: of the performance trap, how to break out of the
Speaker 2: prison of perfectionism. If you understand this, how to relax
Speaker 2: in God's grace, you will find a new level of
Speaker 2: joy in your life. You'll find a new level of
Speaker 2: liberation of freedom that you probably never experienced before, except
Speaker 2: maybe when you first became a believer. So I want
Speaker 2: us to look at how do you relax in God's grace?
Speaker 2: But before we do, let me just mention two or
Speaker 2: three things the perfectionism does to us because it is
Speaker 2: very destructive. It's very detrimental to your own life. Number one,
Speaker 2: you might write this down. What it does is it
Speaker 2: defeats my initiative. Have you ever had a project that
Speaker 2: you ever can't seem to get started on even though
Speaker 2: you know you want to start on it. It's a
Speaker 2: good thing, it's the right thing to do, and you think,
Speaker 2: one of these days I'm going to get around to it.
Speaker 2: But you never get it started. One possible reason is perfectionism,
Speaker 2: because what you in your mind you're doing, you're waiting
Speaker 2: for the perfect circumstance. You're waiting for the perfect timing,
Speaker 2: You're waiting for the perfect environment. You're waiting till the
Speaker 2: kids get out of school, You're waiting till a certain
Speaker 2: amount of money comes in. Are something, but you're waiting.
Speaker 2: And as a result, perfectionism causes procrastination because you set
Speaker 2: your standard so high, and procrastination causes paralysis, and you
Speaker 2: can't get anything done. The Bible says this Ecclesiastes eleven
Speaker 2: to four. If you wait for perfect conditions, you'll never
Speaker 2: get anything done. How many of you agree with that verse?
Speaker 2: Anybody want to give a testimony on that verse? That's
Speaker 2: morning number two? And this is far more serious. Is
Speaker 2: it damages my relationships? It doesn't just defeat my initiative,
Speaker 2: It damages my relationships. Do you enjoy being around somebody
Speaker 2: who is always correcting what you do? Don't look at them.
Speaker 2: I just saw some darts, some arrows going. I elbos
Speaker 2: It's well, we know what we're talking about. On the
Speaker 2: way home today, nobody likes to be nagged all the time,
Speaker 2: corrected all the time, perfected all the time, straightened all
Speaker 2: the time, et cetera, et cetera. It's frustrating, it's irritating.
Speaker 2: The Bible says love forgets mistakes, but nagging about them
Speaker 2: parts the best of friends. It damages relationships. Perfectionism, this
Speaker 2: desired to always correct, damages relationships now and by the way,
Speaker 2: all of us are perfectionists to one degree or another.
Speaker 2: So don't take yourself off the other thing. Well, I'm
Speaker 2: glad my husband's here today or my wife. You know,
Speaker 2: we're all in this bag. Okay. What it does is
Speaker 2: it causes us to look at the wrong thing. And really,
Speaker 2: what happens is it's rooted in insecurity. Have you noticed
Speaker 2: that when you don't feel good about yourself, you don'tant
Speaker 2: anybody else to feel good about themselves. If I don't
Speaker 2: like me, I certainly don't want you liking you. I
Speaker 2: want us to all be miserable together. And perfectionists who
Speaker 2: are harsh and demanding on other people really are harsh
Speaker 2: and demanding on themselves. They're holding themselves to a high standard.
Speaker 2: Because they are doing that to themselves, they feel, well,
Speaker 2: then let's just hold everybody else to that standard. They
Speaker 2: take great pains in their own work, but they also
Speaker 2: are pain to everybody else, and it damages relationships. Number three,
Speaker 2: perfectionism destroys my happiness. It destroys my happiness. Now here's
Speaker 2: the verse many of you probably never read before. It's
Speaker 2: in Ecclesiastes chapter seven, Verse twenty. Excuse me, Ecclesiastes seven sixteen.
Speaker 2: Do not be excessively righteous, and do not be overly wise?
Speaker 2: Why should you ruin yourself? Now that verse doesn't even
Speaker 2: sound like I should be in the Bible, does it.
Speaker 2: He said, Hey, you can take this thing to an extreme.
Speaker 2: He's not talking about genuine righteousness, he's not talking about
Speaker 2: real wisdom. Solomon's talking about perfectionism because you can take
Speaker 2: any virtue and make advice out of it by taking
Speaker 2: it to an extreme at ignoring the balancing parts to it.
Speaker 2: And he says, why ruin yourself? I love God's word
Speaker 2: translation of this verse. It says, why make yourself miserable?
Speaker 2: You see in your mind, you have this picture of
Speaker 2: your ideal self. Ideal self is. If you want to
Speaker 2: know what your ideal self is, it's what you put
Speaker 2: on the job application. You know, that's your ideal self.
Speaker 2: It's not the real you. It's it's your ideal self. Okay,
Speaker 2: it's what you show on the first date. That's the
Speaker 2: ideal you. Now, would you agree that there is always
Speaker 2: a gap between the ideal and the real, between what
Speaker 2: you want to be, what you'd like to be, what
Speaker 2: you think you ought to be, and what you really are. Yes,
Speaker 2: there is a major gap between the ideal and the real,
Speaker 2: and so the ideal is always nagging the real in
Speaker 2: your mind. And there's this ongoing conversation in your mind
Speaker 2: all the time, saying, shape up, surely you can do
Speaker 2: better than that. Come on, get with it. Why did
Speaker 2: you do that again? Aren't you ever gonna change? And
Speaker 2: it's this little scolding going on in your mind when
Speaker 2: you're in the perfection as a mode, and you're always
Speaker 2: saying to yourself, I'm too skinny, i'm too fat, i'm
Speaker 2: too tall, i'm too short, i'm too uncoordinated, I'm awkward,
Speaker 2: I'm always laid, I'm never going to change, I'm not
Speaker 2: good at this, I'm dumb, and on and on, And
Speaker 2: you got this tape that's playing over and over between
Speaker 2: the ideal and the real thinking that you're going to
Speaker 2: nag yourself into perfection. Now, does nagging work, No, it
Speaker 2: doesn't work. It doesn't work at all. Nagging only makes
Speaker 2: you defensive, makes the person you're nagging defensive. Now, your
Speaker 2: worst nag lives under your skin. If your typical, you
Speaker 2: are your own worst critic. And since we tend to
Speaker 2: resent and even dislike people who nag us, if you're
Speaker 2: always nagging yourself, what's that saying about you? You don't
Speaker 2: like you, That's what I'm saying. You don't like you,
Speaker 2: and you think that you're not good enough. And you
Speaker 2: think by nagging yourself into what's wrong with you, that's
Speaker 2: going to motivate you to do the right thing. Well
Speaker 2: it's not. That's called perfectionism. And perfectionism causes you to
Speaker 2: constantly criticize yourself, put yourself down, demean yourself, degrade yourself,
Speaker 2: and have this conversation. Now, here's the problem. You learned
Speaker 2: perfectionism growing up. The fact it may have been modeled
Speaker 2: for you. Now, the good point is, since you learned it,
Speaker 2: you can unlearn it. Right, you can unlearn it. But
Speaker 2: what happens is many of you were perfectionists before you
Speaker 2: became believers, and then you became a Christian. You stepped
Speaker 2: across the line and you gave your life to Christ.
Speaker 2: But what you did is you took that little irritating
Speaker 2: voice there was always telling you what was wrong with you,
Speaker 2: and you took it off a conscience, or you took
Speaker 2: it off your parents, or you took it off whatever
Speaker 2: culture or whatever, and you just made it God's voice.
Speaker 2: And now you've got God all the time saying to you,
Speaker 2: come on, can't you do any better? Why don't you
Speaker 2: Why aren't you doing that? Why aren't you doing this?
Speaker 2: Always telling you what's wrong? And you've mistaken it for
Speaker 2: the voice of God. It's constant, big critic in the sky. Now,
Speaker 2: what is the antidote to that kind of perfectionism, because
Speaker 2: we all have it to one degree another. Well, it's
Speaker 2: not found in any therapy, and it's not found in
Speaker 2: any pill. There's only one antidote to perfectionism, folks. It's
Speaker 2: not in some tape series, it's not in some psychological
Speaker 2: pull yourself up by your bootstraps and say you know
Speaker 2: this is great. There's only one antidote to perfectionism. Experience
Speaker 2: the grace of God, learn to relax, in the grace
Speaker 2: of God. Californians, particularly Southern Californians, are supposedly to be
Speaker 2: a chilled out, laid back, casual Southern California lifestyle. Now,
Speaker 2: those of us who live here know that that is
Speaker 2: a big sham. That people who live in Orange County
Speaker 2: are some of the most stressed out people in the world.
Speaker 2: They are not chilled out and laid back. They are uptight,
Speaker 2: stressed out, and pushing themselves constantly, always thinking I need
Speaker 2: more time in my day. And if you had another
Speaker 2: hour in your day, what'd you do. You'd use it
Speaker 2: to work. You wouldn't use it to relax, You'd use
Speaker 2: it to work. Okay, So how do you learn to
Speaker 2: relax in the grace of God? I made a little
Speaker 2: acrostic for you. Are elax? Our stands for realize nobody's perfect.
Speaker 2: Now that's a no brainer, obviously, But you got to
Speaker 2: start somewhere so you realize that nobody's perfect. Look at
Speaker 2: this verse Psalm one, nineteen ninety six. Let's read it
Speaker 2: aloud together. Nothing is perfect except our pastor. Oh I
Speaker 2: didn't say that, does it? Oh? Shoot, nothing is perfect
Speaker 2: except what God's word. That's why, By the way, you
Speaker 2: need to build your life on this because nothing else
Speaker 2: is perfect. What society tells you isn't perfect, what popular
Speaker 2: opinion tells you isn't perfect. What you learn growing up
Speaker 2: isn't perfect. But God's word is perfect. So you get
Speaker 2: in this book, you build your life on this foundation
Speaker 2: because this is perfect. Then you have a perfect foundation.
Speaker 2: Now this would be a good verse for you to
Speaker 2: put on your refrigerator. And if you are married to perfectionists,
Speaker 2: I give you permission to do it. Nothing is perfect
Speaker 2: except God's word. So if you spend all your time
Speaker 2: trying to attain perfection or make any project perfect, you're
Speaker 2: wasting your time. You've heard me say this before. Ninety
Speaker 2: two percent is still an a. You don't have the
Speaker 2: time and you don't have the money to be perfect
Speaker 2: at everything, and you can't anyway, looka the next verse.
Speaker 2: There is no one on earth who does what is
Speaker 2: right all the time and never makes a mistake. Do
Speaker 2: you remember a number of years ago there was a
Speaker 2: book that came out called I'm Okay, You're Okay. Well,
Speaker 2: the point is, folks, that's just a bunch of boloney.
Speaker 2: It is not true. I am not okay, and you're
Speaker 2: not You're really not okay. Okay, I mean I can
Speaker 2: say that ally, I'm okay, you're okay, and inside I'm
Speaker 2: going am I kidding? There are some areas of my
Speaker 2: life that are definitely not okay. There are some areas
Speaker 2: of your life are definitely not okay. And so all
Speaker 2: of the little affirmations in the world are not gonna
Speaker 2: make you okay because you were imperfect. You are not perfect.
Speaker 2: I am not perfect. So here the point is, really
Speaker 2: the truth is I'm not okay and you are not okay,
Speaker 2: but because of God's grace, that's okay. That's okay. Now.
Speaker 2: Really the truth is I'm imperfect and I got a
Speaker 2: lot of things in my life that are not okay.
Speaker 2: And you are imperfect. Then you have a lot of
Speaker 2: things in your life that are not okay. But when
Speaker 2: you accept God's grace, he says that's okay. You don't
Speaker 2: have to be perfect. So why don't you turn to
Speaker 2: the person next to you right now and say, I'm
Speaker 2: imperfect and you're imperfect, but that's okay. Take it to
Speaker 2: a total stranger right now, just go right ahead. I'm imperfect,
Speaker 2: You're imperfect, but that's okay. Now, all right, that's enough.
Speaker 2: You don't have to really go into it. Some of
Speaker 2: you are going you're really, really really not okay. On
Speaker 2: the other hand, I just saw an engagement proposal in
Speaker 2: the bleachers, So I'm not okay. You're not okay, But
Speaker 2: that's okay because because of God's grace. Now what does
Speaker 2: that mean? Does that mean God isn't interested in my growth?
Speaker 2: Of course, he wants me to grow. Does that mean
Speaker 2: I don't have to repent. No, of course you have
Speaker 2: to repent. Does that mean God doesn't want me to
Speaker 2: change and work on areas? No, he wants you to change. Grace.
Speaker 2: When God says you're okay because of My grace, that
Speaker 2: does not mean you could keep on just being a
Speaker 2: jerk the rest of your life. No, it just means
Speaker 2: that God isn't waiting for you to change for him
Speaker 2: to love you. God is not waiting for you to
Speaker 2: change for him to say you're okay. If you accept
Speaker 2: his grace, you realize that nobody's perfect. The E in
Speaker 2: relax stands for enjoy. I need to enjoy God's unconditional love.
Speaker 2: Look at this verse first John three to one. Read
Speaker 2: it with me. See how very much our heavenly Father
Speaker 2: loves us for he allows us to be called his children.
Speaker 2: Think of it, and we really are circle the word children,
Speaker 2: because when you become a believer, when you become a
Speaker 2: follower of Christ, you're not just a servant of God anymore.
Speaker 2: You are a child of God. See a lot of
Speaker 2: people think, well, I give my life to Christ and
Speaker 2: the rest of my life I'm going to serve him. Well,
Speaker 2: sure you are, you're going to serve the Lord. But
Speaker 2: you're more than a servant, oh much much more than
Speaker 2: a servant. You're now a child of the King. You've
Speaker 2: joined the royal family, You're one of God's family, and
Speaker 2: you're a child of God. Here's the difference. A servant
Speaker 2: is accepted and appreciated on the basis of what he does.
Speaker 2: A child is accepted and appreciated on the basis of
Speaker 2: who he is. A servant starts the day anxious and worried,
Speaker 2: wondering if his work will please his master, but a
Speaker 2: child rests in the secure love of his family. A
Speaker 2: servant is accepted because of his workmanship, but a child
Speaker 2: is accepted because of his relationship. A servant is accepted
Speaker 2: because of his productivity and performance. But a child is
Speaker 2: accepted because of his position in the family. At the
Speaker 2: end of a day, a servant has peace of mind
Speaker 2: only if he's proven his worth by his work, But
Speaker 2: the next morning the anxiety begins again. A child can
Speaker 2: be secure all day knowing that tomorrow won't change his status.
Speaker 2: When a servant fails, his whole position is at stake.
Speaker 2: In fact, he might lose his job. But when a
Speaker 2: child fails, he's grieved because he's hurt his parents, and
Speaker 2: he'll be corrected and disciplined, But he's not afraid of
Speaker 2: being thrown out of the family, and his confidence in
Speaker 2: belonging and in being loved is based not on his performance,
Speaker 2: but on the stability of his position as a child
Speaker 2: of God. God says, I want you to enjoy the
Speaker 2: unconditional love of God wants you become a part of
Speaker 2: his family. Now, those of you who are parents, are
Speaker 2: your kids perfect not? Do you still love them? Yes,
Speaker 2: you love them in spite of their imperfection. And when
Speaker 2: a two year old brings you a picture, or a
Speaker 2: three year old and it's all messy, you'd say, this
Speaker 2: is a picture of a cow, and you say, honey,
Speaker 2: that's perfect. What you're saying, is that's perfect for that
Speaker 2: stage of your maturity. You're not saying it's Picasso. You're
Speaker 2: saying it's perfect for where you're at. Now, let me
Speaker 2: ask those of your parents. Do you love your children
Speaker 2: at every stage of their growth? Or are you waiting
Speaker 2: until they're mature first? And once they reach maturity then
Speaker 2: you go, now, I love you. Some of you think
Speaker 2: God's waiting on you to grow up before he's ever
Speaker 2: gonna smile on you, before he's ever gonna give you
Speaker 2: the thumbs up sign and say you're okay. I like you. No,
Speaker 2: God loves you at every stage of your growth because
Speaker 2: his unconditional love is unconditional. Now, I want you to
Speaker 2: write this down. If you don't get anything else, write
Speaker 2: this down. I don't have to be perfect for God
Speaker 2: to love me. I don't have to be perfect for
Speaker 2: God to love me.
Speaker 1: Hey, thanks so much for joining us here on Pastor
Speaker 1: Rick's Daily Hope. I've got some exciting news to share
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