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<v Speaker 1>Minnesota. Goodbye Today starts off with a rent from your

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<v Speaker 1>friend and mine. I need a already. Yeah, okay, let

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<v Speaker 1>me find the right button to push here. Sometimes all

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<v Speaker 1>these buttons are like overwhelming. Okay, here we go.

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<v Speaker 2>Hey, hey, my radio family. So this week's rant is

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<v Speaker 2>about my dog, Mocha. Mocha is a three year old

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<v Speaker 2>German Shepherd. We've had her since she was a puppy.

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<v Speaker 2>I sent you a picture of her in this email.

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<v Speaker 2>So my whole life, I've always the only dogs that

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<v Speaker 2>I've ever loved was German shepherds. I love German shepherds

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<v Speaker 2>and Mocha. She is very, very protective. She's very protective,

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<v Speaker 2>she's a good watch dog. She's very smart. I learned

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<v Speaker 2>that German shepherds are very intelligent. I swear to God

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<v Speaker 2>that fucking dog is smarter than me. But what the

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<v Speaker 2>one thing that pisses me off is how much German

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<v Speaker 2>shepherds shed. I never knew that they shed that much

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<v Speaker 2>fucking hair. It's like, how the hell do you stay

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<v Speaker 2>warm in the winter with all your hair on the

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<v Speaker 2>goddamn floor. I swear to God, I could sweep up

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<v Speaker 2>enough hair off the floor to make a whole nother

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<v Speaker 2>fucking dog. I wish somebody had to warn me or

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<v Speaker 2>told me that German shepherds shed that much. She's not

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<v Speaker 2>one of those hairy German shepherds, but she sheds a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of fucking hairs. Where the hell is this all

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<v Speaker 2>this hair coming from? Jeez, that shit pisses me off. Well,

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<v Speaker 2>I just want to say this will be my last

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<v Speaker 2>rant for this year because as of next week we

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<v Speaker 2>will be in Phoenix, Arizona, visiting family for Christmas in

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<v Speaker 2>New Year's so I just want to say that I

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<v Speaker 2>wish you all a very, very happy Merry Christmas and

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<v Speaker 2>New Year. Jenny and Bailey stay as beautiful as you

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<v Speaker 2>guys are. Bailey, make sure Trip keeps that voice. You

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<v Speaker 2>and Alyssa are the two of the most adorablest couple

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<v Speaker 2>I have seen in a long time. You all stay cute.

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<v Speaker 2>Dave Yes, me and you will get married in the

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<v Speaker 2>next life and we are gonna hook up. We are

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<v Speaker 2>gonna our wedding song is gonna be wet like the rain.

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<v Speaker 2>We're gonna go home, We're gonna make babies, and we're

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<v Speaker 2>gonna cook us some corn bread and greens and kool

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<v Speaker 2>Aid and the One rule that we will and put

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<v Speaker 2>in place is to make sure that fuck is no

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<v Speaker 2>longer a curse word. I love you guys, and have

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<v Speaker 2>a safe and merry Christmas. Bye.

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<v Speaker 1>I love that woman. I told her when we met

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<v Speaker 1>her at we were doing Coach for kids and she

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<v Speaker 1>pulled up and she's dropping off some coats and I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know, we were hugging, and I think I whispered

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<v Speaker 1>in her ear. I said, I'm gonna marry you in

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<v Speaker 1>a different life or something like that, because we're a

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<v Speaker 1>lot the same. We love to bitch. Yeah, we're both

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<v Speaker 1>around the same age. We're super funny and horny, very

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<v Speaker 1>very very horny. I made that part up. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know if Want to Eat is horny or not, but

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<v Speaker 1>but thank you boy to you to appreciate all the

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<v Speaker 1>rants a cay. Next one, let's root through. There's a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of people sitting in Christmas wishes to this email address,

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<v Speaker 1>and we are not accepting them that way, and we're

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<v Speaker 1>also full up with Christmas wish so we've already got

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<v Speaker 1>all of them scheduled, so let's go to this one.

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<v Speaker 1>Like Jenny, I too wrapped my Mate of Honors speech.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh I forgot. We're doing this speech. Eesday, I too

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<v Speaker 1>wrapped my made of honor speech for my sister's wedding,

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<v Speaker 1>and wrapped is a loose term. I rewrote the entire

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<v Speaker 1>song of Ice Heights Baby performed it at their dance

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<v Speaker 1>about an hour in. I figured the more liquored up

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<v Speaker 1>people were, the better. I memorized the whole thing and

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<v Speaker 1>practice for months. The wedding was in twenty sixteen. I

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<v Speaker 1>still know about ninety percent of it off the top

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<v Speaker 1>of my head. Only downfall was the terrible cold I

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<v Speaker 1>had that weekend. I couldn't breathe through my nose. During

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<v Speaker 1>my shining moment, I gave my normal speech of the

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<v Speaker 1>dinner and to throw them off, Oh, to throw them off,

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<v Speaker 1>which I printed on paper because it drives me out

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<v Speaker 1>watching people with their phones giving wedding speeches. My low

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<v Speaker 1>quality rap video lives on YouTube with minimal views. Wishing

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<v Speaker 1>you all a merry Christmas and happy New Year. Oh, Lauren,

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<v Speaker 1>you should have sent me the link. But now the

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<v Speaker 1>moment we've all been waiting for, Jenny wrapped to fresh

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<v Speaker 1>Prince of bel Air, this Mate of Honor speech.

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<v Speaker 3>Now I listen back to this and there's some instrumental parts.

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<v Speaker 3>So I don't know if I'll get this totally correct

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<v Speaker 3>without the music in the background.

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<v Speaker 1>But play the music in the background, no.

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<v Speaker 3>Because it's like a specific version and we don't need

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<v Speaker 3>to waste the time. Okay, here we go. Now this

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<v Speaker 3>is a story all about how my sister likes someone's

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<v Speaker 3>tender profile. I'd like to take a minute, just sit

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<v Speaker 3>right there. I'll tell you how these two started their

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<v Speaker 3>love affair. Then there's like an instrumental in Funa Lac,

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<v Speaker 3>Wisconsin born and raised, Chasing boys was how arrangement. Most

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<v Speaker 3>of her days she studied, and she worked, and she

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<v Speaker 3>went to school and passed summer days out by the pool.

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<v Speaker 3>When she got the news she was going to move

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<v Speaker 3>for a job to the city. Is that I approved?

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<v Speaker 3>So she she got cold feet, but didn't really care.

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<v Speaker 3>She took the leap of faith in moved there more

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<v Speaker 3>instrumental blah blah blah in a three bedroom apartment is

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<v Speaker 3>where she stayed with two cats and me and a

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<v Speaker 3>crazy roommate. She spent one fall night swipe in Left

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<v Speaker 3>and Right, where she matched with a boy named Corey.

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<v Speaker 3>To her delight, they began to chat a lot, so

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<v Speaker 3>he took her out to dinner at a hot spot.

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<v Speaker 3>As they drove to their restaurant, he almost crashed because

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<v Speaker 3>his nerves sent him into a hot flash. After dating

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<v Speaker 3>for a while, it was very clear they had fallen

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<v Speaker 3>in love with no fear. If anything, I would say

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<v Speaker 3>that this love is rare, and I thought, hell yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>what an amazing pair. They said their vows at about

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<v Speaker 3>three to oho eight, and I looked to Rachel, you home,

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<v Speaker 3>smell it you Later, I look at my sister, she

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<v Speaker 3>is now Corey's wife. I wish you both the best

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<v Speaker 3>and a wonderful new life.

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<v Speaker 2>Wow.

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<v Speaker 3>I try to summarize, like their quick meeting, they met

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<v Speaker 3>on Tinder and did that whole thing, got together while

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<v Speaker 3>my sister was living with me at the time, and

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<v Speaker 3>just tried to do a quick summary of their love.

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<v Speaker 1>How did you do with the performance, because that's going

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<v Speaker 1>to be true, So the performance you actually were flawless.

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<v Speaker 1>Didn't lose your place, because when you do something like

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<v Speaker 1>that and you lose your place, now the music keeps

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<v Speaker 1>going and you're fucking stuck in the back.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, I was smart and prepared and had everything

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<v Speaker 3>printed out and everything ready to go. I I had

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<v Speaker 3>coordinated with the DJ to make sure everything went the

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<v Speaker 3>right way. My younger sister and I took some patron

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<v Speaker 3>shots ahead of time to calm the nerves because I

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<v Speaker 3>was nervous.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I really was.

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<v Speaker 3>But yeah, it was a pretty big hit because that

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<v Speaker 3>was like a little bit before the age of everyone

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<v Speaker 3>was doing raps or like some kind of song or

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<v Speaker 3>something for a speech. So I feel like I really

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<v Speaker 3>surprised the crowd. You know, it's not like they had

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<v Speaker 3>seen it before. Yeah, So I don't know. I think

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<v Speaker 3>it went pretty well.

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<v Speaker 4>Nice I did. I played the ukulele for my maid

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<v Speaker 4>of honor speech, and I played a song from Greece

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<v Speaker 4>called those Magic Changes because the people who are getting

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<v Speaker 4>married my friend Sarah and Jordan. Jordan played that guy

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<v Speaker 4>who sang that song in Greece at the chant Has

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<v Speaker 4>in Dinner Theater. Do you want me to play it?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Yeah, and that to me, Okay, well, here we

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<v Speaker 1>keep we do keep a ukulele here in the studio.

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<v Speaker 3>There's actually two.

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<v Speaker 4>This is the only song I know by heart because

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<v Speaker 4>it literally says the the chords in the song okay, okay,

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<v Speaker 4>here we go. Nope, I don't think this is tuned.

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<v Speaker 4>That's okay. Okay cee C C C C C A

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<v Speaker 4>A A A minor f f f f f f

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<v Speaker 4>g g g G seven. Sarah and Jordan are getting

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<v Speaker 4>married today. They're super in love and every single way

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<v Speaker 4>their love is like a Disney story book. When Sarah

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<v Speaker 4>walked down the ile, eye was shook together forever baby,

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<v Speaker 4>very best friends or maybe soulmates, heart desires, kindred spirits

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<v Speaker 4>o their synonyms four true love companions, spousal companions. That's

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<v Speaker 4>hard to rhyme, Sarah and Jordan. It's about time, you're

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<v Speaker 4>in your prime of beauty.

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<v Speaker 5>Oh my Darley, Oh yeah, wow.

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<v Speaker 2>The time.

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<v Speaker 3>I didn't know which Grease song that was at first,

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<v Speaker 3>but once you started singing, I remember which one? That is?

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<v Speaker 2>Nice?

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<v Speaker 1>You have the Forgotten songs from Greece.

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<v Speaker 4>It is forgotten. It's in the musical version, not in

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<v Speaker 4>the in the movie, right, I don't know it. Well,

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<v Speaker 4>it's in the movie, but they like play it at

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<v Speaker 4>the prom, and so many of the songs in the

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<v Speaker 4>musical they just play at the prom. So anyway, I

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<v Speaker 4>sang that, and I pulled the ukulele out from underneath

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<v Speaker 4>my seat and no one knew it was down there.

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<v Speaker 1>Now, let me ask you the big questions. Sarah and

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<v Speaker 1>Riley Jordan Jordan, I don't know where you got Riley.

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<v Speaker 1>How are they doing these days?

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<v Speaker 4>They're still married, they have two kids now. I went

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<v Speaker 4>with them to see The Little Mermaid this past Tuesday,

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<v Speaker 4>and so they met Trim. So yeah, it was a

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<v Speaker 4>big old deal. I still love them. They're still my

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<v Speaker 4>best friends.

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<v Speaker 1>Trip update. We haven't gotten a trip update. I feel

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<v Speaker 1>intrusive if I asked too much about him. No, so

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<v Speaker 1>what's the latest.

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<v Speaker 4>Way. I was there on Sunday. He was kind of

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<v Speaker 4>annoying me on Sunday because he wanted to just like

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<v Speaker 4>hang out and do nothing all day. I am not

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<v Speaker 4>that kind of.

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<v Speaker 1>You are not a hangout and do nothing kind of

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<v Speaker 1>a girl.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I get like I get a recharger battery situation.

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<v Speaker 4>But my last relationship was always recharging his batteries all

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<v Speaker 4>the time. So I feel triggered a little bit. But

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<v Speaker 4>it was fine. Yeah, I was good.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, good. You know what you've told me a little

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<v Speaker 1>bit about your previous relationship and how it seemed like

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<v Speaker 1>you just never wanted to do anything anything. No, And yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's one of the big things in a

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<v Speaker 1>relationship is like, well, do you like to sit around

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<v Speaker 1>the house but not all the time. Yeah, Like Susan

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<v Speaker 1>and I are pretty agreeable about how much we want

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<v Speaker 1>to go out, like we'll go Like on a Friday night,

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<v Speaker 1>we might go do you want to go out? Nah,

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<v Speaker 1>We'll go out tomorrow night. Saturday night rolls around will

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<v Speaker 1>be like do you want to go out?

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<v Speaker 2>Nah?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm good stay at home. But other times like, let's

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<v Speaker 1>go somewhere.

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<v Speaker 4>So my answers always yes, do you want to go somewhere?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 3>I do.

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<v Speaker 1>Next one Minnesota Goodbye. I was listening Monday and I

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<v Speaker 1>heard Dave say people used to actually say don't touch

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<v Speaker 1>that dial because there was a literal dial to change

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<v Speaker 1>the TV channel. Got me thinking about the TV we

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<v Speaker 1>had grown up. I'm thirty one. For reference, We used

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<v Speaker 1>to have a pair of pliers to change the channel

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<v Speaker 1>because the knob had been broken off. My brother lost it. Curious,

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<v Speaker 1>what was something you grew up with that you thought

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<v Speaker 1>was normal but you found out was not normal? While

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<v Speaker 1>your brainstorm, I got another example babysitting in the neighborhood

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<v Speaker 1>girls at thirteen, I said, where's your clicker? That was

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<v Speaker 1>the first time I tried to make them lunch. Our

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<v Speaker 1>stove at home did not work correctly, so we always

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<v Speaker 1>had to turn the burner on and use a clicker

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<v Speaker 1>to get it to light. Now by clicker, I had

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<v Speaker 1>to think about this. It's one of those things that

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<v Speaker 1>looks like a trigger, like a candle lighter.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, like a lighter.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, but it's long, I think, yeah, she said,

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<v Speaker 1>not sure if we were weird or poor considering my

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<v Speaker 1>two examples. Can't wait to hear yours, Katie, you and I.

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<v Speaker 1>She labels herself in house underwriter. That's funny. We also

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<v Speaker 1>we had ATV at one time where the knob was gone,

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<v Speaker 1>so we used a pair of pliers to change the channel.

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<v Speaker 1>We also had rabbit ears that had broken off. The

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<v Speaker 1>antenna broken off, so we stuck a coat hanger in

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<v Speaker 1>the top of the TV.

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<v Speaker 4>That's like smart, that.

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<v Speaker 1>Was the antenna. But also we had a gas stove

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<v Speaker 1>and we didn't use a clicker. We kept a botch

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<v Speaker 1>of wooden kitchen matches on the top of the stove.

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<v Speaker 1>So because the gas, the pilot light wouldn't work, so

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<v Speaker 1>we would turn on the gas for the burner and

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<v Speaker 1>then we would.

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<v Speaker 4>Have to light it for some reason every time, not

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<v Speaker 4>that I've done that a bunch of times. So anytime

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<v Speaker 4>I've had to actually light gas on a stove, I

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<v Speaker 4>just think it's going to blow up and I'm going

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<v Speaker 4>to die, even though it's like it lights on fire itself.

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<v Speaker 4>But sometimes when you have to light it yourself, you're like,

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<v Speaker 4>this is it. This is the end.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the end. I get it. Yeah, that's the only

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<v Speaker 1>thing that I can think of that. I will tell

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<v Speaker 1>one thing that I thought what was weird as I

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<v Speaker 1>got older was we had a slop bucket next to

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<v Speaker 1>the sink, and that was where there was no garbage

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<v Speaker 1>disposals when I grew up, and we couldn't use them

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<v Speaker 1>anyway because we had a septic tank. So if there

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<v Speaker 1>was like you know, leftover whatever, instead of pouring it

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<v Speaker 1>down the drain, we poured into We called it literally

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<v Speaker 1>the slop bucket, and it was a coffee can full

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<v Speaker 1>of corn cobs or gravy or green beans or crackers

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<v Speaker 1>or whatever that got scraped off a plate and we

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<v Speaker 1>would feed it to the chickens because we were hay seeds. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>and we kept a slop bucket on the kitchen counter.

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<v Speaker 3>Jenny, I think The only thing I can think of

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<v Speaker 3>is the fact that we would never flush a toilet

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<v Speaker 3>if we just peed in it. And I don't think

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<v Speaker 3>any of my friends did that. It was to save water,

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<v Speaker 3>and so, like you know, I'd go to other people's

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<v Speaker 3>places and not always flush because it was just like

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<v Speaker 3>natural for me not flush.

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<v Speaker 4>We had the slop bucket too, Dave, You're really same exactly, well,

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<v Speaker 4>not at home, but at the farm, back at when

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<v Speaker 4>I worked at the Kelly farm.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, well for the Kelly farm. Yeah yeah, next email

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<v Speaker 1>about the squatty potty, And here we go from Sydney.

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<v Speaker 1>I stand behind the squatty potty and I hate having

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<v Speaker 1>to poop without one. Wow. I have a kids stool

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<v Speaker 1>and all three of my bathrooms because that's practical. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't need a squatty potty. Specifically, she will be surprised

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<v Speaker 1>how horrible her fifty two years of pooping has been

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<v Speaker 1>once she introduces this into her routine talking about Jannita,

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<v Speaker 1>because what Nita was talking about the squatty potty. Now,

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<v Speaker 1>my husband is constantly baffled whenever he is at one

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<v Speaker 1>of my family member's homes because we all believe in

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<v Speaker 1>the squatty potty. I don't believe he uses ours, even

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<v Speaker 1>though it's readily available in every bathroom. Public service announcement.

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<v Speaker 1>People that are not using a squatty potty are missing

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<v Speaker 1>out great last minute Christmas gift. If you are looking,

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<v Speaker 1>you're welcome. Enjoy. Oh I like this one. Hello Minnesota

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<v Speaker 1>Goodbye crew First, I love the new lineup. Bailey, you

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<v Speaker 1>are just a delight. I was hoping you'd be a

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<v Speaker 1>permanent edition. Jenny, You're relatable and so kind. Just a

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<v Speaker 1>few random things have said out loud during the show,

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<v Speaker 1>or Minnesota Goodbye. While listening a while back during the

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<v Speaker 1>lyric shuffle, the word was no know, and Dave sang

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<v Speaker 1>I know a thing oh two about her, but he

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<v Speaker 1>couldn't remember the name of the song. I was yelling,

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<v Speaker 1>strutter I Kiss. How do I know this as a

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<v Speaker 1>thirty eight year old mom of two, Well, my five

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<v Speaker 1>year old son is obsessed with Kiss, so he's every

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<v Speaker 1>He's got a very long playlist that we listen to

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<v Speaker 1>in the car, so I can hear their music every

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<v Speaker 1>damn day. That cracks me up, because you would think

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<v Speaker 1>a five year old would want to hear like the

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<v Speaker 1>Wheels on the Bus or Baby sharp or some shit

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<v Speaker 1>like that. But I'm glad that he's into kiss and

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<v Speaker 1>Strutter is such a great song. Also today, Dave said,

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<v Speaker 1>Travis Kelcey also got Taylor Swift a kiss T shirt

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<v Speaker 1>for her birthday, and I'm like, hey, my son's getting

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<v Speaker 1>kissed t shirts for Christmas. Not very interesting to anybody else,

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<v Speaker 1>but I laugh a little every time kiss is mentioned,

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<v Speaker 1>since they have now become a part of my everyday life.

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<v Speaker 1>A few pictures attached if you need to smile. Oh

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<v Speaker 1>my god, here's our little kid made up as Gene Simmons.

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<v Speaker 1>Great makeup, by the way, and he's got a little

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<v Speaker 1>toy guitar. And then there's another one which won't seem

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<v Speaker 1>to open. And oh, I don't know. It's the same

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<v Speaker 1>kid made up as Paul Stanley, the one with a

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<v Speaker 1>star on his eye. Yeah, and he's even puckering his

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<v Speaker 1>lips a little bit like Paul Stanley. Those are awesome.

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<v Speaker 4>We'll have a big fan. That's cute.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you very much. Oh I love this one. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>check this out, Hello, my favorite morning crew. Listening to

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<v Speaker 1>Friday's podcast, somebody wrote in about art school and how

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<v Speaker 1>BS art doesn't make it in institutions. I am on

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<v Speaker 1>the other side of that statement. I went to the

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<v Speaker 1>Minneapolis College of Art and Design, and those types of

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<v Speaker 1>art always get high responses. Drove me absolutely nuts. I

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<v Speaker 1>myself and I am a realistic oil painter. Abstract art is

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<v Speaker 1>tough for me. But the thing that people that got

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<v Speaker 1>people these top grades was they know how to be

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<v Speaker 1>as the concept and the students and professors would eat

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<v Speaker 1>that up. There were a couple of classes where I

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<v Speaker 1>made art that I hated, but it catered to the professor,

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<v Speaker 1>so I got better grades. Not all of the classes

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<v Speaker 1>were that way, but it did happen a bunch of times.

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<v Speaker 1>Talent and ability is not always the key to passing,

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<v Speaker 1>which is unfortunate anyway, Love you guys, dart Lick all

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<v Speaker 1>right and left. Thank you. Kristen.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, really interesting because like the only thing I have

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<v Speaker 3>close to that is taking a theater class and it

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<v Speaker 3>was all acting. And the one time I did a

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<v Speaker 3>monologue that was supposed to be like humorous, my instructor

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<v Speaker 3>refused to allow me, like to play it as a

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<v Speaker 3>humorous monologue. She said it like deep down the person's

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<v Speaker 3>self conscious and it should be more emotional. So it

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<v Speaker 3>went from like a funny monologue to a like I'm

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<v Speaker 3>almost crying in it monologue and that's just not how

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<v Speaker 3>I interpreted it. But she didn't like that kind of acting,

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<v Speaker 3>so I had to completely change it to appease her.

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<v Speaker 1>I think that sucks when you have to do it

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<v Speaker 1>the teacher's way when it's subjective, Like if I was

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<v Speaker 1>gonna do art in the arts, like, let's say I

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<v Speaker 1>was really really good at carving sculptures of heads, and

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<v Speaker 1>the teachers like, that's not what we're looking for. We

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<v Speaker 1>want something to be more abstract. So I had to

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<v Speaker 1>go back to my studio and make something that did

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<v Speaker 1>not look like ahead, like one giant ear attached to

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<v Speaker 1>an eye, just to appease the teacher. Yeah that bothered me.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I feel like that's kind of how you play

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<v Speaker 4>the game, though not just in art class, but like

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<v Speaker 4>what is this teacher going to want? And I just

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<v Speaker 4>have to do whatever the teacher wants, which is dumb.

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<v Speaker 1>Teachers are dumb? Am I right? I love teachers, they're dumb.

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<v Speaker 1>I love that, you know, I'm joking. That is it

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<v Speaker 1>for the Minnesota goodbye. Love to hear your emails about

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<v Speaker 1>anything you want to bring up. If you shout random

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<v Speaker 1>things at the radio during the show, you need to

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<v Speaker 1>email us. Send your email to Ryan Show at KDWB

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<v Speaker 1>dot com.