WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.360 --> 00:00:04.120 Section twenty three of Amusement Only. This is a LibriVox recording. 2 00:00:04.280 --> 00:00:07.280 All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more 3 00:00:07.320 --> 00:00:11.679 information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Recording 4 00:00:11.720 --> 00:00:16.079 by Stephan Kinford. Amusement Only by Richard marsh An Old 5 00:00:16.079 --> 00:00:21.000 Fashioned Christmas, Chapter one. The promise an old fashioned Christmas. 6 00:00:21.480 --> 00:00:24.640 A lively family will accept a gentleman as paying guests 7 00:00:24.679 --> 00:00:27.239 to join them in spending an old fashioned Christmas in 8 00:00:27.280 --> 00:00:30.600 the heart of the country. That was the advertisement. It 9 00:00:30.640 --> 00:00:33.560 had its points. I was not sure what in this 10 00:00:33.759 --> 00:00:37.159 case an old fashioned Christmas might happen to me. I 11 00:00:37.159 --> 00:00:40.719 imagine there were several kinds of old fashioned Christmases, but 12 00:00:40.799 --> 00:00:43.240 it could hardly be worse than a chop in my chambers, 13 00:00:43.679 --> 00:00:46.600 or horror of horrors at the club, or my cousin 14 00:00:46.719 --> 00:00:51.600 Lucy's notion of what she calls the festive season. Festive. Yes, 15 00:00:52.119 --> 00:00:54.960 she and her husband, who suffers from melancholy, and all 16 00:00:54.960 --> 00:00:57.560 the other complaints which flesh is heir to, and I 17 00:00:57.920 --> 00:01:02.079 dragging through what I call patent medicine dinner and talking 18 00:01:02.240 --> 00:01:05.079 of everybody who is dead and gone or else going, 19 00:01:05.200 --> 00:01:08.719 and of nothing else. So I wrote to the advertiser. 20 00:01:09.239 --> 00:01:12.239 The reply was written in a sprawling feminine hand. It 21 00:01:12.319 --> 00:01:14.799 was a little vague. It appeared that the terms would 22 00:01:14.840 --> 00:01:17.159 be five guineas, but there was no mention of the 23 00:01:17.239 --> 00:01:20.280 length of time which that fee would cover. I might 24 00:01:20.359 --> 00:01:22.920 arrive it seemed on Christmas Eve, but there was no 25 00:01:23.079 --> 00:01:25.959 hint as to when I was to go. If Ever, 26 00:01:26.680 --> 00:01:29.000 the whole thing was a trifle odd. There was nothing 27 00:01:29.040 --> 00:01:31.719 said about the sort of accommodation which would be provided, 28 00:01:32.159 --> 00:01:35.760 nothing about the kind of establishment which was maintained, or 29 00:01:35.799 --> 00:01:39.159 the table which was kept. No references were offered or 30 00:01:39.200 --> 00:01:42.359 asked for. It was merely stated that we're a very 31 00:01:42.400 --> 00:01:46.280 lively family, and that if you're lively yourself, you'll get 32 00:01:46.319 --> 00:01:51.480 on uncommonly well. The letter was signed Madge Wilson. Now 33 00:01:51.519 --> 00:01:53.599 it is a remarkable thing that I have always had 34 00:01:53.599 --> 00:01:56.760 an extraordinary predilection for the name Madge. I do not 35 00:01:56.920 --> 00:01:59.760 know why I have never known a Madge, and yet 36 00:02:00.079 --> 00:02:02.959 from my boyhood upward I have desired to meet one. 37 00:02:03.480 --> 00:02:06.959 Here was an opportunity offered. She was apparently the careworn 38 00:02:07.040 --> 00:02:11.120 mother of a lively family. Under such circumstances, she was 39 00:02:11.199 --> 00:02:14.599 hardly likely to be lively herself, but her name was Madge, 40 00:02:14.719 --> 00:02:17.599 and it was the accident of her Christian name which 41 00:02:17.639 --> 00:02:21.800 decided me to go. I had no illusions, no doubt 42 00:02:21.800 --> 00:02:24.639 the five Guineas were badly wanted. Even a lively family 43 00:02:24.680 --> 00:02:27.479 would be hardly likely to advertise for a perfect stranger 44 00:02:27.520 --> 00:02:30.280 to spend Christmas with them if they were not. I 45 00:02:30.360 --> 00:02:34.280 did not expect a princely entertainment. Still, I felt that 46 00:02:34.360 --> 00:02:37.280 it could hardly be worse than a chop or cousin Lucy, 47 00:02:37.919 --> 00:02:40.479 the subjects of her conversation I never cared about when 48 00:02:40.520 --> 00:02:43.039 they were alive, and I certainly do not want to 49 00:02:43.039 --> 00:02:45.479 talk about them now they are dead. As for the 50 00:02:45.520 --> 00:02:48.639 pills and drops with which her husband doses himself between 51 00:02:48.639 --> 00:02:51.360 the courses, it makes me ill even to think of them. 52 00:02:52.400 --> 00:02:55.759 On Christmas Eve, the weather was abominable all night. It 53 00:02:55.800 --> 00:02:58.479 had been blowing and raining in the morning. It began 54 00:02:58.520 --> 00:03:00.879 to freeze by the time, and the streets were like 55 00:03:00.960 --> 00:03:03.800 so many skating rinks that commenced to snow, and it 56 00:03:03.879 --> 00:03:06.439 kept on snowing. That turned out to be quite a 57 00:03:06.479 --> 00:03:09.159 record in the way of snowstorms, hardly the sort of 58 00:03:09.159 --> 00:03:11.759 weather to start for an unknown destination in the heart 59 00:03:11.759 --> 00:03:14.159 of the country. But at the last moment I did 60 00:03:14.240 --> 00:03:16.280 not like to back out. I said I would go, 61 00:03:16.479 --> 00:03:20.319 and I meant to go. I had been idiot enough 62 00:03:20.319 --> 00:03:23.240 to load myself with a lot of Christmas presents without 63 00:03:23.240 --> 00:03:26.400 the faintest notion. Why I had not given a Christmas 64 00:03:26.479 --> 00:03:29.599 present for years There had been no one to give 65 00:03:29.639 --> 00:03:33.759 them to. Lucy cannot bear such trifling, and her husband's 66 00:03:33.800 --> 00:03:36.120 only notion of a present at any time was a 67 00:03:36.120 --> 00:03:39.759 gallant jar of somebody's stomach stir. I am no dealer 68 00:03:39.800 --> 00:03:43.199 in poisons. I knew nothing of the people I was 69 00:03:43.280 --> 00:03:46.479 going to. The youngest member of the family might be twenty, 70 00:03:46.639 --> 00:03:49.560 or the oldest ten. No doubt that things I bought 71 00:03:49.599 --> 00:03:53.000 would be laughed at. Probably I should never venture to 72 00:03:53.080 --> 00:03:56.080 offer them. Still, if you have not tried your hand 73 00:03:56.159 --> 00:03:58.680 at that kind of thing for ever so long, the 74 00:03:58.680 --> 00:04:01.919 mere act of purchasing is a pleasure. That is a fact. 75 00:04:02.840 --> 00:04:06.039 I had never enjoyed shopping so much since I was 76 00:04:06.080 --> 00:04:09.319 a boy. I felt quite lively myself as I mingled 77 00:04:09.319 --> 00:04:12.199 with the Christmas crowd, looking for things which might not 78 00:04:12.360 --> 00:04:16.040 turn out to be absolutely preposterous. I even bought something 79 00:04:16.040 --> 00:04:19.920 from Madge, I mean, missus Wilson. Of course, I knew 80 00:04:19.959 --> 00:04:22.079 that I had no right to do anything of the kind, 81 00:04:22.439 --> 00:04:24.519 and was aware that the chances were a hundred to 82 00:04:24.560 --> 00:04:28.160 one against my ever presuming to hint at its existence, 83 00:04:29.000 --> 00:04:31.759 was actually as enough to buy something for her husband, 84 00:04:32.160 --> 00:04:36.560 two things, indeed alternatives, as it were a boxes of 85 00:04:36.639 --> 00:04:38.920 gars if he turned out to be a smoker in 86 00:04:38.959 --> 00:04:41.519 a case of whiskey if he didn't. I hoped to 87 00:04:41.639 --> 00:04:44.480 goodness that he would not prove to be a hypochondriac 88 00:04:44.920 --> 00:04:48.199 like Lucy's husband. I would not give him pills. What 89 00:04:48.319 --> 00:04:51.279 the Lively family would think of a perfect stranger arriving 90 00:04:51.399 --> 00:04:54.439 burdened with rubbish, as if he had known them all 91 00:04:54.480 --> 00:04:57.959 their lives, I did not dare to think, no doubt 92 00:04:58.319 --> 00:05:00.759 they would set him down as a lunar right away. 93 00:05:01.920 --> 00:05:05.480 It was a horrible journey. The trains were late and 94 00:05:05.879 --> 00:05:09.360 of course overcrowded. There was enough luggage in our compartment 95 00:05:09.480 --> 00:05:11.800 to have filled it, and still there was one more 96 00:05:11.839 --> 00:05:15.240 passenger than there ought to have been, an ill conditioned 97 00:05:15.439 --> 00:05:18.079 old fellow who wanted my hat box put into the 98 00:05:18.160 --> 00:05:20.759 van because it happened to tumble off the rack onto 99 00:05:20.800 --> 00:05:23.560 his head. I pointed out to him that the rack 100 00:05:23.680 --> 00:05:26.720 was specially constructed for light luggage, that a hat box 101 00:05:26.800 --> 00:05:29.279 was light luggage, and that if the train jolted, he 102 00:05:29.360 --> 00:05:33.199 ought to blame the company, not me. He was impervious 103 00:05:33.240 --> 00:05:36.680 to reason. His wrangling and jangling so upset me that 104 00:05:36.720 --> 00:05:39.360 I went past the station at which I ought to 105 00:05:39.439 --> 00:05:42.560 have changed. Then I had to wait three quarters of 106 00:05:42.600 --> 00:05:45.160 an hour for a train to take me back again, 107 00:05:45.439 --> 00:05:47.480 only to find that I had missed the one I 108 00:05:47.560 --> 00:05:50.439 intended to catch. So I had to cool my heels 109 00:05:50.480 --> 00:05:53.040 for two hours and a half in a wretched cow 110 00:05:53.120 --> 00:05:57.800 shed amidst a bitter, whirling snowstorm. It is some satisfaction 111 00:05:57.920 --> 00:05:59.920 for me to be able to reflect that I may 112 00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:03.120 made it warm for the officials, however cold I might 113 00:06:03.199 --> 00:06:07.439 have been myself. When the train did start, some forty 114 00:06:07.480 --> 00:06:10.680 minutes after scheduled time, it jolted along in a laborious 115 00:06:10.720 --> 00:06:13.040 fashion at the rate of about six miles an hour, 116 00:06:13.600 --> 00:06:17.199 stopping at every roadside hovel. I counted seven in a 117 00:06:17.279 --> 00:06:21.199 distance I am convinced of less than twenty miles when 118 00:06:21.199 --> 00:06:24.319 at last I reached crofton my journey's end, it turned 119 00:06:24.319 --> 00:06:26.839 out that the station staff consisted of a half witted 120 00:06:26.839 --> 00:06:31.040 individual who was station master, porter and clerk combined, and 121 00:06:31.079 --> 00:06:33.600 a hulking lad who did whatever else there was to do. 122 00:06:34.519 --> 00:06:37.000 No one had come to meet me. The village was 123 00:06:37.040 --> 00:06:40.399 about half a mile and Hanger Dean, the house for 124 00:06:40.439 --> 00:06:44.000 which my steps were bent, about four miles by the road. 125 00:06:44.600 --> 00:06:47.360 How far it was across plowed fields. My informant did 126 00:06:47.439 --> 00:06:51.480 not mention there was a trap at the boy and blunderbuss, 127 00:06:51.480 --> 00:06:55.959 but that required FETCHI. Finally the hulking lad was dispatched. 128 00:06:56.480 --> 00:06:58.920 It took him some time, considering the distance was only 129 00:06:58.959 --> 00:07:01.759 about a half a mile. When the trap did appear, 130 00:07:02.160 --> 00:07:04.920 it looked to me uncommonly like an open spring cart. 131 00:07:05.480 --> 00:07:08.720 In it, I was deposited with my luggage. The snow 132 00:07:08.839 --> 00:07:12.040 was still descending in whirling clouds. Never shall I forget 133 00:07:12.079 --> 00:07:14.879 the drive in that miserable cart through the storm in 134 00:07:14.920 --> 00:07:18.120 those pitch black country lanes. We had been jogging along 135 00:07:18.199 --> 00:07:22.000 some time before the driver opened his mouth. Be you 136 00:07:22.120 --> 00:07:27.360 going to stop with a Wilson's I am ah? There 137 00:07:27.399 --> 00:07:30.279 was something in the tone of his eh which wetted 138 00:07:30.279 --> 00:07:33.040 my curiosity. Near the end of my tether, though, I 139 00:07:33.240 --> 00:07:36.839 was why do you ask? It? Be about time? As 140 00:07:36.839 --> 00:07:39.079 someone were to stay with them as were a bit 141 00:07:39.240 --> 00:07:42.920 capable like. I did not know what he meant. I 142 00:07:42.959 --> 00:07:46.120 did not ask. I was beyond it. I was chilled 143 00:07:46.160 --> 00:07:50.560 to the bone, wet, tired, hungry. I had long been 144 00:07:50.600 --> 00:07:54.360 wishing that an old fashioned Christmas had been completely extinct, 145 00:07:54.680 --> 00:07:57.160 before I had thought of adventuring in quest of one 146 00:07:57.759 --> 00:08:01.959 better cousin Lucy's notion of the festive season. We passed 147 00:08:01.959 --> 00:08:04.759 through a gate which I had to get down to open, 148 00:08:05.279 --> 00:08:08.879 along some sort of avenue. Suddenly the cart pulled up. 149 00:08:09.360 --> 00:08:12.839 Here we be that might be so. It was a 150 00:08:12.839 --> 00:08:16.360 pity he did not add where here was? There was 151 00:08:16.399 --> 00:08:19.560 a great shadow, which possibly did duty for a house, 152 00:08:19.680 --> 00:08:23.279 But if so, there was not a light in any 153 00:08:23.279 --> 00:08:25.959 of the windows, and there was nothing visible in the 154 00:08:26.000 --> 00:08:29.399 shape of a door. The whereabouts of this, however, the 155 00:08:29.519 --> 00:08:33.279 driver presently made clear. There be the door in front 156 00:08:33.320 --> 00:08:35.879 of you. You go up three steps. If you can 157 00:08:35.919 --> 00:08:39.600 find 'em. There's a knocker, if none of them haven't 158 00:08:39.639 --> 00:08:42.279 twisted it off. If they have, there's a bell on 159 00:08:42.320 --> 00:08:45.879 your right, if it isn't broken. There appeared to be 160 00:08:45.960 --> 00:08:49.360 no knocker, though whether it had been twisted off was 161 00:08:49.480 --> 00:08:52.039 more than I could say. But there was a bell, 162 00:08:52.519 --> 00:08:56.039 which creaked with rust, though it was not broken. I 163 00:08:56.080 --> 00:08:59.159 heard a tinkle in the distance. No answer, though I 164 00:08:59.240 --> 00:09:03.000 allowed a more than decent interval. Better Ring again suggested 165 00:09:03.000 --> 00:09:06.039 the driver hard. Maybe they're up to some of their 166 00:09:06.039 --> 00:09:09.200 games and wants rousing. Was there a chuckle in the 167 00:09:09.240 --> 00:09:13.120 fellow's voice. I rang again and again with all the 168 00:09:13.159 --> 00:09:16.720 force I could. The bell reverberated through what seemed like 169 00:09:16.759 --> 00:09:19.799 an empty house. Is there no one in the place? 170 00:09:20.919 --> 00:09:24.480 They are there right enough? Where's another thing? Maybe on 171 00:09:24.559 --> 00:09:27.320 the roof or in the cellar? But if they know 172 00:09:27.399 --> 00:09:30.039 you're comin, perhaps they hear and don't choose to answer. 173 00:09:30.399 --> 00:09:34.799 Better Ring again, I sounded another peal. Presently, feet were 174 00:09:34.799 --> 00:09:39.159 heard advancing along the passage, several pairs, it seemed, and 175 00:09:39.240 --> 00:09:41.960 a light gleamed through the window over the door. A 176 00:09:42.039 --> 00:09:47.559 voice inquired, who's there, mister Christopher from London? The information 177 00:09:47.720 --> 00:09:50.679 was greeted with what sounded uncommonly like a chorus of laughter. 178 00:09:51.559 --> 00:09:55.080 There was a rush of retreating feet, an expostulating voice, 179 00:09:55.200 --> 00:10:02.080 then darkness again and silence. Who lives here? Are the people? Mad? Well? Thereabouts? 180 00:10:02.799 --> 00:10:05.759 Once more I suspected the driver of a chuckle. My 181 00:10:05.919 --> 00:10:08.919 temper was rising I had not come all that way 182 00:10:09.120 --> 00:10:12.960 and subjected myself to so much discomfort to be played 183 00:10:13.039 --> 00:10:16.840 tricks with. I told the bell again. After a few 184 00:10:16.840 --> 00:10:19.399 seconds interval, the pit pat of what was obviously one 185 00:10:19.440 --> 00:10:22.639 pair of feet came towards the door again. A light 186 00:10:22.720 --> 00:10:26.360 gleamed through the pane. A key was turned, a chain unfastened, 187 00:10:26.600 --> 00:10:29.799 bolts withdrawn. It seemed as if some one had to 188 00:10:29.879 --> 00:10:33.000 drag a chair forward before one of these ladder would 189 00:10:33.000 --> 00:10:36.559 be reached. After a vast amount of unfastening, the door 190 00:10:36.639 --> 00:10:39.399 was opened, and on the threshold there stood a girl 191 00:10:39.840 --> 00:10:42.919 with a lighted candle in her hand. The storm rushed in. 192 00:10:43.559 --> 00:10:45.879 She put up her hand to shield the light from danger. 193 00:10:46.759 --> 00:10:50.559 Can I see missus Wilson, I'm expected. I'm mister Christopher 194 00:10:50.600 --> 00:10:55.039 from London. Oh that was all she said. I looked 195 00:10:55.039 --> 00:10:58.679 at her, she at me. The driver's voice came from 196 00:10:58.679 --> 00:11:01.399 the background. I drove him over from the station. Miss 197 00:11:01.879 --> 00:11:04.360 There be a lot of luggage, he do say, he's 198 00:11:04.399 --> 00:11:07.559 come to stay with you, Is that you tidy? I'm 199 00:11:07.600 --> 00:11:10.360 afraid I can offer you nothing to drink. We've lost 200 00:11:10.440 --> 00:11:13.840 the key of the cellar and there's nothing out except water, 201 00:11:14.320 --> 00:11:17.120 and I don't think you'd care for that. I can't 202 00:11:17.159 --> 00:11:20.480 say rightly as how I should miss Next time we'll do. 203 00:11:21.039 --> 00:11:23.919 Be it all right? The girl continued to regard me. 204 00:11:24.600 --> 00:11:27.519 Perhaps you had better come inside. I think I had. 205 00:11:28.080 --> 00:11:31.600 I went inside. It was time. Have you any luggage? 206 00:11:31.879 --> 00:11:35.200 I admitted that I had. Perhaps it had better be 207 00:11:35.320 --> 00:11:38.679 brought in. Perhaps it had Do you think that you 208 00:11:38.720 --> 00:11:43.480 could manage tidy? The mayor? She'll stand still enough. I 209 00:11:43.519 --> 00:11:46.759 should think I could miss. End of chapter one of 210 00:11:46.799 --> 00:11:57.360 an Old Fashioned Christmas recording by Stephen Kinford, Sharon Township, Ohio. 211 00:11:57.600 --> 00:12:01.120 Section twenty four of Amusement Only. This is LibriVox recording. 212 00:12:01.120 --> 00:12:04.039 All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more 213 00:12:04.080 --> 00:12:08.559 information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Recording 214 00:12:08.600 --> 00:12:12.879 by Stephan Kinford, Amusement Only by Richard marsh An Old 215 00:12:12.919 --> 00:12:18.159 Fashioned Christmas, Chapter two and the performance by degrees. My 216 00:12:18.240 --> 00:12:21.799 belongings were born into the hall, hidden under an envelope 217 00:12:21.799 --> 00:12:25.120 of snow. The girls seemed surprised at their number. The 218 00:12:25.200 --> 00:12:27.759 driver was paid, the cart disappeared, the door was shut. 219 00:12:28.399 --> 00:12:31.799 The girl and I were alone together. We didn't expect 220 00:12:31.840 --> 00:12:34.919 that you would come, not expect me, But it was 221 00:12:34.960 --> 00:12:37.919 all arranged. I wrote to say that I would come. 222 00:12:38.320 --> 00:12:41.200 Did you not receive my letter? We thought that you 223 00:12:41.240 --> 00:12:46.480 were joking, joking? Why should you imagine that we were joking? 224 00:12:47.039 --> 00:12:49.759 You were? Then I am to gather that I have 225 00:12:49.840 --> 00:12:52.639 been made the subject of a practical joke, and that 226 00:12:52.720 --> 00:12:55.840 I am an intruder here. Well, it's quite true that 227 00:12:55.879 --> 00:12:58.480 we did not think you were in earnest. You see, 228 00:12:58.519 --> 00:13:03.720 it's this way. We're alone alone. Who are we? Well? 229 00:13:04.120 --> 00:13:06.320 It will take a good while to explain, And you 230 00:13:06.360 --> 00:13:10.159 look tired and cold. I am both. Perhaps you're hungry, 231 00:13:10.600 --> 00:13:12.919 I am. I don't know what you can have to 232 00:13:12.960 --> 00:13:18.480 eat unless it's tomorrow's dinner. Tomorrow's dinner, I stared. Can 233 00:13:18.480 --> 00:13:23.320 I see Missus Wilson, Missus Wilson, that's Mama, she's dead. 234 00:13:23.919 --> 00:13:27.200 I beg your pardon. Can I see your father? Oh? 235 00:13:27.240 --> 00:13:30.200 Father's been dead for years? Than to whom have I 236 00:13:30.279 --> 00:13:34.759 the pleasure of speaking? I'm Madge, I'm mother. Now you 237 00:13:35.039 --> 00:13:38.240 are mother. Now. The trouble will be about where you 238 00:13:38.279 --> 00:13:42.039 are to sleep, unless it's with the boys. The rooms 239 00:13:42.039 --> 00:13:44.679 are all anyhow, and I'm sure I don't know where 240 00:13:44.679 --> 00:13:47.559 the beds are. I suppose there are servants in the house. 241 00:13:47.879 --> 00:13:51.240 She shook her head. No. The boys thought that they 242 00:13:51.279 --> 00:13:54.600 were nuisances, so we got rid of them. The last 243 00:13:54.600 --> 00:13:57.679 one went yesterday. She wouldn't do any work, so we 244 00:13:57.759 --> 00:14:01.399 thought she'd better go under the those circumstances. I think 245 00:14:01.440 --> 00:14:04.320 it probable that you were right, then, am I to 246 00:14:04.440 --> 00:14:08.639 understand that there are children? Rather? As she spoke, there 247 00:14:08.639 --> 00:14:10.440 came a burst of laughter from the other end of 248 00:14:10.440 --> 00:14:14.200 the passage. I spun round. No one was in sight. 249 00:14:14.559 --> 00:14:19.720 She explained, they're waiting round the corner. Perhaps we'd better 250 00:14:19.759 --> 00:14:23.399 have them here. You people, you'd better come and let 251 00:14:23.399 --> 00:14:27.080 me introduce you to mister Christopher. A procession began to 252 00:14:27.120 --> 00:14:30.639 appear from round the corner of boys and girls. In 253 00:14:30.679 --> 00:14:34.200 front was a girl of about sixteen. She advanced with 254 00:14:34.240 --> 00:14:37.720 outstretched hand and an air of self possession, which took 255 00:14:37.759 --> 00:14:41.720 me at a disadvantage. I'm Bessie. I'm sorry we kept 256 00:14:41.720 --> 00:14:44.120 you waiting at the door, But the fact is that 257 00:14:44.200 --> 00:14:46.840 we thought it was Eliza's brother who had come to 258 00:14:46.879 --> 00:14:51.440 insult us. Again, pray don't mention it. I am glad 259 00:14:51.519 --> 00:14:55.120 that it was not Eliza's brother, So am I he 260 00:14:55.279 --> 00:14:58.320 is a dreadful man. I shook hands with the rest 261 00:14:58.360 --> 00:15:01.600 of them, there were six more, four boys and two girls. 262 00:15:02.120 --> 00:15:05.440 They formed a considerable congregation as they stood eyeing me 263 00:15:05.559 --> 00:15:09.840 with inquiring glances. Madge was the first to speak. I 264 00:15:09.919 --> 00:15:12.720 wondered all along if he would take it as a 265 00:15:12.799 --> 00:15:16.360 joke or not, And you see he hasn't. I thought 266 00:15:16.399 --> 00:15:18.600 all the time that it was a risky thing to do. 267 00:15:19.240 --> 00:15:21.919 I like that you keep your thoughts to yourself. Then 268 00:15:22.440 --> 00:15:25.799 it was you proposed it. You said you'd been reading 269 00:15:25.840 --> 00:15:28.480 about something of the kind and a story, and you 270 00:15:28.639 --> 00:15:32.559 voted for our advertising ourselves for a lark. The speaker 271 00:15:32.639 --> 00:15:36.120 was the biggest boy, a good looking youngster with sallow 272 00:15:36.200 --> 00:15:40.879 cheeks and shrewd black eyes. But Rupert, I never meant 273 00:15:40.879 --> 00:15:43.919 it to go so far as this. How far did 274 00:15:43.960 --> 00:15:46.360 you mean it to go? Then it was your idea 275 00:15:46.399 --> 00:15:50.519 all through. You sent in the advertisement, you wrote the letters, 276 00:15:50.879 --> 00:15:54.240 and now he's here. If you didn't mean it, why 277 00:15:54.320 --> 00:15:58.600 didn't you stop his coming? Rupert? The girl's cheeks were 278 00:15:58.679 --> 00:16:04.440 Crimson Bess interposed. The thing is that as he is here, 279 00:16:04.600 --> 00:16:07.799 it's no good worrying about whose fault it is. We 280 00:16:07.840 --> 00:16:10.720 shall simply have to make the best of it. Then 281 00:16:10.759 --> 00:16:13.440 to me, I suppose you really have come to stay. 282 00:16:14.519 --> 00:16:17.639 I confess that I had some notion of the kind 283 00:16:18.480 --> 00:16:22.159 to spend an old fashioned Christmas. At this there was laughter, 284 00:16:22.639 --> 00:16:25.960 chiefly from the boys. Rupert exclaimed, A nice sort of 285 00:16:26.000 --> 00:16:29.440 old fashioned Christmas. You'll find it will be. You'll be 286 00:16:29.519 --> 00:16:33.080 sorry you came before it's through. I'm not sure of that. 287 00:16:33.720 --> 00:16:36.200 There appeared to be something in my tone which caused 288 00:16:36.240 --> 00:16:39.320 a touch of silence to descend upon the group. They 289 00:16:39.360 --> 00:16:42.480 regarded each other doubtfully, as if in my words a 290 00:16:42.600 --> 00:16:47.360 reproof was implied. Bessie was again the spokeswoman. Of course, 291 00:16:47.639 --> 00:16:49.960 now that you have come, we mean to be nice 292 00:16:49.960 --> 00:16:53.840 to you. That is as nice as we can, because 293 00:16:53.879 --> 00:16:56.919 the thing is that we are not in a condition 294 00:16:57.080 --> 00:16:59.960 to receive visitors. Do we look as if we were 295 00:17:00.840 --> 00:17:03.600 to be frank? They did not. Even Madge was a 296 00:17:03.639 --> 00:17:07.079 little unkempt while the boys were in what I believe 297 00:17:07.240 --> 00:17:11.319 is the average state of the average boy, and murmured Madge, 298 00:17:11.559 --> 00:17:14.480 where is mister Christopher to sleep? What is he to eat? 299 00:17:14.599 --> 00:17:18.640 Inquired Bessie. She glanced at my packages. I suppose you 300 00:17:18.720 --> 00:17:22.440 have brought nothing with you. I'm afraid I haven't. I 301 00:17:22.480 --> 00:17:26.160 had hoped to have found something ready for me. On 302 00:17:26.279 --> 00:17:30.039 my arrival. Again, they peeped at each other as if ashamed. 303 00:17:30.279 --> 00:17:34.599 Madge repeated her former suggestion, there's tomorrow's dinner. Oh hang it, 304 00:17:34.839 --> 00:17:38.799 exclaimed rupert. It's not so bad as that there's a 305 00:17:38.880 --> 00:17:43.359 ham uncooked. You can cut a steak off or whatever 306 00:17:43.400 --> 00:17:47.119 you call it, and have it broiled. A meal was 307 00:17:47.160 --> 00:17:50.200 got ready in the preparation of which every member of 308 00:17:50.200 --> 00:17:52.920 the family took a hand, and a room was found 309 00:17:52.920 --> 00:17:56.000 for me, in which was a blazing fire and traces 310 00:17:56.039 --> 00:18:00.240 of recent feminine occupation. I suspected that Madge had yield 311 00:18:00.279 --> 00:18:03.440 her own apartment as a shelter for the stranger. By 312 00:18:03.480 --> 00:18:06.119 the time I had washed and changed my clothes, the 313 00:18:06.160 --> 00:18:10.000 impromptu dinner or supper, or whatever it was, was ready. 314 00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:15.000 A curious repast. It proved to be composed of oddly 315 00:18:15.160 --> 00:18:20.599 contrasted dishes, cooked and sometimes uncooked in original fashion, but 316 00:18:20.799 --> 00:18:23.960 hunger that piquante sauce gave it a relish of its own. 317 00:18:24.720 --> 00:18:29.319 At first, no one seemed disposed to join me by degrees. However, 318 00:18:29.480 --> 00:18:33.319 one after another found a knife and fork, till all 319 00:18:33.359 --> 00:18:36.279 the eight were seated with me round the board, eating 320 00:18:36.799 --> 00:18:40.359 some of them as if for dear life. The fact is, 321 00:18:40.680 --> 00:18:45.960 explained Rupert. We're a rum lot. We hardly ever sit 322 00:18:46.079 --> 00:18:50.480 down together. We don't have regular meals. But whenever anyone 323 00:18:50.680 --> 00:18:54.039 feels peckish, he goes and gets what there is and 324 00:18:54.119 --> 00:18:56.799 cooks it and eats it on his own. It's not 325 00:18:56.880 --> 00:19:00.279 quite so bad as that, protested Madge. Though it's pretty bad. 326 00:19:01.279 --> 00:19:04.279 It did seem pretty bad from the conventional point of view. 327 00:19:04.880 --> 00:19:10.000 From their conversation, which was candor itself, I gleaned details 328 00:19:10.039 --> 00:19:13.720 which threw light upon the peculiar position of affairs. It 329 00:19:13.839 --> 00:19:16.480 seemed that their father had been dead some seven years. 330 00:19:17.039 --> 00:19:20.359 Their mother, who had been always delicate, had allowed them 331 00:19:20.400 --> 00:19:24.480 to run nearly wild. Since she died some ten months back. 332 00:19:24.839 --> 00:19:28.279 They appeared to have run quite wild. The house, with 333 00:19:28.400 --> 00:19:31.839 some six hundred acres of land, was theirs, and an income, 334 00:19:32.200 --> 00:19:35.319 as to whose exact amount no one seemed quite clear. 335 00:19:35.880 --> 00:19:39.039 It's about eight hundred a year, said Rupert. I don't 336 00:19:39.079 --> 00:19:42.559 think it's quite so much, doubted Madge. I'm sure it's more, 337 00:19:42.640 --> 00:19:46.160 declared Bessy. I believe were being robbed. I thought it 338 00:19:46.240 --> 00:19:50.680 extremely probable they must have had peculiar parents. Their father 339 00:19:50.799 --> 00:19:54.319 had left everything absolutely to their mother, and the mother 340 00:19:54.599 --> 00:19:58.039 in her turn everything in trust to Madge, to be 341 00:19:58.119 --> 00:20:01.759 shared equally among them all. Madge was an odd trustee. 342 00:20:02.240 --> 00:20:05.200 In her hands the household had become a republic in 343 00:20:05.240 --> 00:20:08.599 which everyone did exactly as he or she pleased. The 344 00:20:08.680 --> 00:20:11.759 result was chaos. No one wanted to go to school, 345 00:20:11.960 --> 00:20:15.680 so no one went. The servants, finding themselves provided with 346 00:20:15.880 --> 00:20:19.599 eight masters and mistresses, followed their example and did as 347 00:20:19.640 --> 00:20:26.000 they liked. Consequently, after sundry battles, royal lively episodes, some 348 00:20:26.079 --> 00:20:30.039 of them have evidently been one after the other had 349 00:20:30.079 --> 00:20:35.119 been got rid of. Until now not one remained. Plainly, 350 00:20:35.200 --> 00:20:38.400 the house must be going to rack and ruin. But 351 00:20:38.519 --> 00:20:42.599 have you no relations, I inquired. Rupert answered, We've got 352 00:20:42.599 --> 00:20:46.640 some cousins or uncles or something of the kind in Australia, 353 00:20:46.880 --> 00:20:50.279 where so far as I'm concerned, I hope they'll stop. 354 00:20:51.240 --> 00:20:53.640 When I was in my room, which I feared was Madge's, 355 00:20:54.039 --> 00:20:56.519 I told myself that it was a queer establishment on 356 00:20:56.559 --> 00:20:59.359 which I had lighted. Yet I could not honestly affirm 357 00:20:59.400 --> 00:21:02.079 that I was sorry I had come. I had lived 358 00:21:02.119 --> 00:21:06.000 such an uneventful and such a solitary life, and had 359 00:21:06.079 --> 00:21:09.160 so often longed for someone in whom to take an interest, 360 00:21:09.559 --> 00:21:13.039 who would not talk medicine chest that to be plunged 361 00:21:13.279 --> 00:21:16.039 all at once into the center of this troop of 362 00:21:16.160 --> 00:21:20.039 boys and girls with an accident which, if only because 363 00:21:20.079 --> 00:21:24.279 of its novelty, I found amusing. And then it was 364 00:21:24.400 --> 00:21:27.359 so odd that I should have come across a madge. 365 00:21:27.440 --> 00:21:30.799 At last, in the morning, I was roused by noises, 366 00:21:31.079 --> 00:21:33.839 the cause of which at first I could not understand. 367 00:21:34.480 --> 00:21:38.079 By degrees the explanation dawned on me. The family was 368 00:21:38.079 --> 00:21:41.519 putting the house to rights, a somewhat noisy process. It 369 00:21:41.599 --> 00:21:45.799 seemed someone was singing, someone else was shouting, and two 370 00:21:45.880 --> 00:21:49.079 or three others were engaged in a heated argument. In 371 00:21:49.240 --> 00:21:51.799 such loud tones was it conducted that the gist of 372 00:21:51.799 --> 00:21:54.319 the matter traveled up to me. How do you think 373 00:21:54.359 --> 00:21:56.480 I'm going to get this fire to burn? If you 374 00:21:56.559 --> 00:21:59.920 beastly kids keep messing it about, It's no good bag 375 00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:02.559 hanging at it with the poker till it's a light. 376 00:22:03.599 --> 00:22:07.240 The voice was unmistakably Rupert's. There was the sound of 377 00:22:07.279 --> 00:22:11.160 a scuffle, cries of indignation, then a girlish voice pouring 378 00:22:11.200 --> 00:22:14.400 oil upon the troubled waters. Presently there was a rattle 379 00:22:14.440 --> 00:22:17.319 and clatter, as if someone had fallen from the top 380 00:22:17.359 --> 00:22:19.440 of the house to the bottom. I rushed to my 381 00:22:19.480 --> 00:22:23.240 bedroom door. What on earth has happened? A small boy 382 00:22:23.400 --> 00:22:27.720 was outside, Peter. He explained, Oh, it's only the broom 383 00:22:27.720 --> 00:22:31.039 and dust pen gone to bogganing down the stairs. It's 384 00:22:31.039 --> 00:22:35.279 Bessie's fault. She shouldn't leave them on the landing. Bessie, 385 00:22:35.400 --> 00:22:39.599 appearing from a room opposite, disclaimed responsibility. I told you 386 00:22:39.720 --> 00:22:41.960 to look out where you were going, but you never do. 387 00:22:42.880 --> 00:22:45.400 I'd only put them down for a second while I 388 00:22:45.480 --> 00:22:48.039 went in to empty a jug of water on to Jack, 389 00:22:48.599 --> 00:22:51.000 who won't get out of bed, and there are all 390 00:22:51.039 --> 00:22:54.279 the boots for him to clean. Injured tones came through 391 00:22:54.279 --> 00:22:57.680 the open portal. You wait, that's all. I'll soak your 392 00:22:57.680 --> 00:23:00.359 bed tonight. I'll drown it. I don't want to clean 393 00:23:00.440 --> 00:23:04.119 your dirty boots. I'm not a shoe black. The breakfast 394 00:23:04.160 --> 00:23:08.119 was a failure to begin with. It was inordinately late. 395 00:23:08.680 --> 00:23:11.680 It seemed that a bath was not obtainable. I had 396 00:23:11.720 --> 00:23:15.119 been promised some hot water, but as I waited and waited, 397 00:23:15.559 --> 00:23:18.720 none arrived. I proceeded to break the ice in my 398 00:23:18.839 --> 00:23:23.480 jug it was a bitterly cold morning, nice old fashioned weather, 399 00:23:23.960 --> 00:23:27.200 and to wash in the half frozen contents. As I 400 00:23:27.240 --> 00:23:31.839 am not accustomed to perform my ablutions in partially dissolved ice, 401 00:23:32.319 --> 00:23:34.720