Speaker 1: It's apparently a big issue for Yeah, well a dare
goes down into that hole.
Speaker 2: Ah, I never go in that hole. No, it's terrifying.
Speaker 3: It looks like there could be a clown down there
with a knife or something.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, oh yeah, I mean think about who is
the little kid that it beckons down Ritchie Richie, little
Richie beepe be pepe. It's so scary. No imagine Pennywise
is down there. Okay, super scary, right, and he's also
a spider alien from this from the space.
Speaker 2: What I like?
Speaker 1: Hey, Stephen King, like, what what does this guy doing?
He spent a billion dollars with this stuff. It's ridiculous. Anyways, Hilo,
Welcome to another brand spanking episode of another blowod Deck podcast.
My name is Dylan.
Speaker 2: That is pat permission to come aboard.
Speaker 1: Granted that's up not much. Went on a little bike
ride this week.
Speaker 3: We did I do I do my yearly bicycle bar
crawl with a couple of my buddies.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, helps.
Speaker 2: Clear the mind.
Speaker 3: It's like a therapy session, do you uh oh yeah.
It's not mandatory that you're gonna drink alcohol, but we
do have a rule. We hit four different places okay,
and you have to buy some kind of food and
a beverage at each establishment.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, So you could bike ride right. Oh yeah,
you didn't get a dewey on a bike right.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you can definitely get a dui.
Speaker 1: Well that wraps.
Speaker 3: You get one on a golf cart. John Elway killed
the guy last weekend.
Speaker 1: No he didn't.
Speaker 2: Kinda yeah, you didn't hear what I mean?
Speaker 1: Kinda? Is he dead? Well?
Speaker 3: His agent and longtime business partner was on the back
of a golf cart. They were partying up in Lakita
Resorts over there. Oh yeah, checking out stage coach.
Speaker 2: I love that. Seventy five year olds like to rock
out to stage coach. Anyway. Yeah, he's tipping a few and.
Speaker 3: He gets on the golf cart and his buddy's on
the back and uh, he rolls off the back of
the golf cart.
Speaker 1: Oh and dead.
Speaker 2: He's dead. Wow, he's dead.
Speaker 1: What a brutal way to go.
Speaker 2: Let's go. I think it's a great way to go.
Speaker 1: Let's get to some iTunes ratings and reviews.
Speaker 2: Are we're going to start the show with that?
Speaker 1: Oh no, that's a bad idea. We'll do it at
the end.
Speaker 3: Well, now they already teased it. Why don't you do it?
We'll do some housekeeping.
Speaker 1: No, because we already did all that stuff like what
you did over the weekend. And people really like to
get us into the get us into the hear us
get into it.
Speaker 2: Oh is it a negative or a positive review?
Speaker 1: I got one negative? I got one positive. Okay, are
you not going to be able to focus?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 3: No, I can handle this. Please, Why don't you start
with the negative? Because I want our audience to understand
what we're put through.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, I think that's a good idea, because
what we're doing here is trying to well, one incentivize
you to balance out the nut jobs, but two, just
have empathy for us because we can't do anything about this.
This is a two star review.
Speaker 2: You can't do any thin about it.
Speaker 1: This is a two star review from torquemenoh eight. Combined
Feed is a headache? Two stars. I only watch find Feed.
Speaker 2: What the hell is he saying about that?
Speaker 1: Well? Bad feed. We do a bunch of different shows
on here.
Speaker 2: Now, Oh, how we got rid of the blow deck Feed?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Now we're just bad TV.
Speaker 1: Yeah okay, so I only watched below Deck of the
shows they review. It was already annoying waiting through the
non related content on the old feed. Now with one
hundred percent more non related content, eye roll, please go
back to having a below deck in its own feed.
Two stars, two stars, two stars.
Speaker 2: Okay, let me break this down.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if I'm understanding this correctly, yeah, yeah, this particular
person is a listener of our blowdeck content.
Speaker 1: It sounds like quite a fan.
Speaker 3: And they dinged us with two stars because they don't
apparently have the ability to look past an episode that
says the valley. You can't just say that's not for me.
Speaker 1: Did I tell you I got another kink in my neck? Yeah,
something's going on. I got to go to a chiropractice.
Speaker 2: Probably all the stress of this judgment from these goddamn listeners.
I'd like to say this to that particular reature, fuck off. Yes.
Speaker 3: And also, if you want to be constructive, if you
want to say, hey, old Patty, been watching the videos.
Your face is looking like you're bloated drunk, that's constructive.
What you just laid down there doesn't help anybody.
Speaker 1: No, no, it really doesn't help anybody. So thank you
for your review. We'll get to a positive one. At
the end of the show, well, listen, we got a
crazy episode of Below Deck to get into. Okay, wow,
there is tension in the calley. I'm so excited to
get to APS because I watched a nautical film this weekend.
Have you ever heard of or seen Dead Calm with
Sam O'Neill, Nicole Kidman and Billy's Aim.
Speaker 2: Not only did I see that, I sought it out.
Speaker 3: This might have been in the early years of just
the single baby with Ellie and she'd sleep a lot,
and we started going through looking for good thrillers, and.
Speaker 2: I believe Dead Calm was highly rated in the lore
of thrillers.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well we'll talk about it Patreon dot com,
slash another podcast network when APS drops. But this episode,
I thought it was really really good, uncomfortable, a lot
of tension. I was on my feet for a a
real moment of heroinism. Oh, Serena just standing her ground,
just two fucking feet planted. It was a lovely episode.
I give it four pots.
Speaker 3: Bat Oh gosh, I'm trying to think if there anything
really happened, which is fine, because this has been an
amazing season. It's amazing, it's winding down. I just I
don't like the dinner themes where they episode takes too long.
It's absolutely ridiculous to have a circus theme. They did
not stick the landing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't like a circus, Well, I don't like
a circus. Who likes a circus?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's one of those things that I think by
the time I was brought to the circus that had
a outlived.
Speaker 2: It's uh, it's enjoyment for children. Yeah, video games existed
by that.
Speaker 1: I think that there are all of these kind of
stole warts in our memory and people are sad to
lose them, their institutions that are antiquated. The Miss Universe pageant, right,
the Miss Universe pageant.
Speaker 3: Or how about Victoria's Secret. I'm supposed to tune in
to see a bunch of hot chicks.
Speaker 2: And like I got Pornhub right right.
Speaker 1: Oh, I thought you were going to say that there
are now fatsas walking on.
Speaker 2: Oh no, that's what I thought.
Speaker 1: That you were beautiful, But another one of another, one
of speaking of fat says, I am getting fucking I mean,
I can't even tell you.
Speaker 2: I wait till the baby's board.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, Oh my god, it's worse than the
freshman year fifteen.
Speaker 1: My wife was like, why don't you just shave your
beard off? I was like, are you out of your
fucking mind? It is the only thing hiding I cannot
do that right now. So the circus is one of
these antiquated things where I mean, listen, if it's a
if it's a real performance, it's a real show. Like
uh oh, yes, you know, but we don't need a
carnival kind of roaming group of gypsies and cripples, you know,
just stabbing tigers and elephants with cattle prats. You know,
we don't need that. Yeah. So anyways, four pots.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's see.
Speaker 3: Didn't like the circus thing, the drama between Zorena and
Lara continuing. You know, every season there's two people that
just can't get along. Yeah, and I didn't see it
coming with Zerena and Laura. I thought they'd patch that either.
Speaker 1: Did they. They thought they were gonna be fast friends
even though they hate each other.
Speaker 3: Well, that's what Zerina claims that she was hoping for.
But alas, it's just like her childhood where she was
ugly Barbie and no one likes her.
Speaker 2: A weird Barbie? Is that what she said?
Speaker 1: All right?
Speaker 2: I take that back, forgive me. I think she's gorgeous,
all right. I think that's there.
Speaker 1: Might have been an ugly Barbie in the Barbie movie.
Speaker 3: Enjoyable episode, but I don't remember anything that happens, so
I'm gonna have to dig it some points for that.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna give it twenty two knots.
Speaker 1: You know, I switched over to uh Aquapana just Saratoga.
I got I got too many comments on the Daily
Routine thing when I was buying, oh, and I was
just like, I don't want to get a part of
this any.
Speaker 2: That TikToker guy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and they that is so in the the easygeist.
Speaker 2: That you get your balls busted.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have fucking old Arabic guys going, oh do
you see the daily the daily routine thing? Now, it's
not about that, Okay. I was a huge fan. The
bubble structure is perfect, so it's a real loss in
my life. Anyways, let's get to the episode. What an
episode it was.
Speaker 2: Right, Pat, Yeah, Yeah, it was great.
Speaker 1: Oh, I was so good.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: The crew scrambling to pull this circus themed dinner off,
and uh, I think According to Lara, this is one
of the most challenging themes that.
Speaker 2: She's ever had to pull off.
Speaker 3: If their goal was surpride decorations for a sad kid's
birthday party, they fucking nailed it.
Speaker 1: Sorry, my notes were I don't know if you picked
up on it. My notes were taking four.
Speaker 3: Ever, you and I our minds are connected. That's why
I was killing some time for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and Tamara. So we move the dinner inside, like
that was ever a question. I think the wind was
blowing seven hundred knots an hour outside, like, how are
we how are we going to do? A circus would
blow an elephant away. I didn't even know when could
be like that. And it sucks because this is the
most elaborate dinner of the season. There are many courses
quote unquote many courses, and we've got circus acts like
a nerd and overalls. We've got a tall young man
with sores painted all over his body and cream pie clowns,
and the nerd and overalls will be after the truffle popcorn.
Speaker 2: Yeah well, uh.
Speaker 1: Also, Captain Jason is some kind of super jail slave driver.
Speaker 2: He looked great.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I think at At this point, though,
as they're preparing or perhaps dinner has started down in
the galley, Alicia not so subtly subtly hints to Nate
that I think she wants to have sex without protection
with you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well they talk about cream pies, and
you know, they talk about getting cream pies in the face.
Everybody knows that you can't get a cream pie in
the face because a cream pie is when you're not
in a cooter. You can't get I mean, you could
get that on the face, but I mean it's like,
that's we're really getting depraved now.
Speaker 3: Well, regardless of Johnny's watching at home, He's saying, what
the fuck, poor Johnny?
Speaker 2: Wow?
Speaker 3: Yeah, And then meanwhile, Adare isn't thrilled to be a clown. Hey, look,
you can't be hot girl every day. Okay, every once
in a while, you gotta pull a Sierra like she does
on Summer House. She's so hot, she'll actually make herself
less attractive with some dumb costume.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think she was a bird in like the last episode.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, that's what I've been doing lately with
all the fucking food Again.
Speaker 2: I'm so hot, Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, I put on weight.
Speaker 3: You know, my ex her mom used to say that
I couldn't stand her mom. And I'm not gonna say
her name because she'll probably try and sue me. She
told me at dinner with my then girlfriend at the
time that the reason she put on all the weight
was because guys were hitting on her at work too much.
Speaker 1: All right, yeah, no, food's good though. So we take
a peek at Serena. Oh, I gotta tell you, Oh,
they all save it for aps. My aunt Sue crashed
into a ditch.
Speaker 2: Sue. Now Sue is the heavy set relative.
Speaker 1: Well, they're all heavy sets. It's just you know, it's
and I shouldn't say her name, but yeah, a ditch
came up and grabbed her. Didn't see it. Wow, And
then she said that said someone stole the car. Well
we'll talk about okay. So anyways, we take a peek
at Serena prepping for the circus dinner. The deviled eggs
are crudely piped and smoothed over with a fingertip, and
while prepping for the dinner, she is to take a photo.
There is this very odd tension where she doesn't want
to be in the photo almost puritanically. So hey, Bravo,
just tell us what the fuck is going on, or
do me a favor, just get this out of the episode.
Speaker 2: What's going on? What's going on is being a poopy
pants again?
Speaker 1: I know, but why.
Speaker 2: Because she's poopy pants? Because Alicia is getting attention.
Speaker 3: Also, she's not really focused in the kitchen, and I
think that's what's pissing her off. Now, del what is
your position on deviled eggs. I think it's something that
is wonderful but only needs to be consumed once, possibly
twice a year.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's an annual food. I think it's
an annual food. I think it's a summertime you know,
summertime lunch if you're at a restaurant. Yeah, and they
do a good deviled egg maybe at a barbecue. Fan
of the food, fan of the food, don't get me wrong.
A labor of love, you know, one of the easier
labors of love. But uh, you know you gotta you
gotta get a ziploc bag. You know, you need piping
skills and evidently you need to lick a finger and
smooth over the fucking y.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. So anyways, Uh, by the way, you know
these fruit stands we got in Los Angeles, Yeah, love them,
beautiful fruit.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 3: If if you're ever in any city, if there's a
vendor on the on the corner of a street and
they're chopping up a bunch of different fruit and they're
throwing the lime juice in there with a little bit
of that, what's that little.
Speaker 2: Spice they pop in there?
Speaker 1: That?
Speaker 2: Oh, not that, it's a real tree for yourself.
Speaker 1: You know. I was driving by one the other day,
That's why I brought it up. Guy was digging for
gold like you wouldn't believe.
Speaker 2: He had his hand in his ball, hand.
Speaker 1: In his nose. And I went home. I was like,
it's fucking disgusting. He doesn't use gloves when he's chopping
the fruit.
Speaker 2: Seey goes.
Speaker 1: I've seen him scratch his fucking ass. I was just like,
I don't why is everything getting ruined?
Speaker 3: Well, you know that, you know that's what happens when
you don't have any uh.
Speaker 2: You know, these pieces of people aren't licensed vendor.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what, I'm just going to stick to
nerd clusters in Turkey. That's all I can eat nowadays.
Speaker 3: Well, speaking of gross stuff, one of the guests. I
forget which one it was, but he had a hairy
white ass.
Speaker 1: Yea.
Speaker 2: When you were asked could possibly scare children? Just cover
it up, don't walk around.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, god no. There's like with great power
comes great responsibility. That's kind of like a perverted version
of it, Like with a horrifying ass comes great responsibility,
like you have to protect people from that's right. So
whiskey sours are up first. How do you feel about
a whiskey sour?
Speaker 2: That's another one of those.
Speaker 3: On occasion, you know, I was at Grandville on that
bicycle bar crawl and I don't know what came over me,
but I ordered an Aberall Sprits.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Now that's a lovely bike riding drink.
Speaker 3: Somehow this bartender made it the way that I like it.
Speaker 2: I feeld it a few times.
Speaker 1: When the ratio is sing the drink really really gets
to another level.
Speaker 3: Now, And I hadn't realized at this point that apple
was basically long form for an apricot?
Speaker 1: Is that it?
Speaker 2: That's the flavor?
Speaker 1: Oh? Really?
Speaker 2: So if you're in apricots in order to apple, that doesn't.
Speaker 1: Taste like apricots. But yeah, when you go to Italy.
I mean, there's really nothing like a cobblestone street and
then apparel sprints with a bowl of potato chips. I mean,
transport me there. Now, you know you know what I mean. Gosh,
all right, So whiskey sours are disgusting. They're two sour
and if you drink a lot of them, if you,
god forbid, if you have to upchuck. It's just just
so acidic. And in the comments, let us know what
your favorite drink is at the bar. So Marina is
in service. She needs to see how the big dogs
do it. Take a look. It's deviled eggs and fucking whiskey.
Speaker 3: Well, Dylan and I can tell her because we've been
watching this show for several years what the big big
dogs do. At the highest point in that career path,
you get to tell other people to cure.
Speaker 2: Clean urine off a toilet.
Speaker 3: See yeah, yeah, yeah, If that's your dream a year
after a go for it. It's right up there with
a person that puts the stickers on the fruit at
the grocery store.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, I think I think that's that's a
pretty mundane task. But it's not much higher.
Speaker 2: Can you believe someone has to do that.
Speaker 3: I was at such a low in my career at
one point that I had I would. I thought someone's
putting the stickers on these and I'm the right man
for the job.
Speaker 1: I got to tell you that I would. I would.
I would pay to have that job for a while,
just just a couple of months, because I just want
simplicity in my life. I want to just pop a
podcast on and just zoned for a little bit. Yeah,
what's up with this frenetic pace and all these things too? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Well, instead I went and worked for North American Insurance,
which was equally mundane.
Speaker 2: I did a little thing called data entry.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. I drove you into a deep,
dark depression. So anyways, we get to Jason sitting down
with them. He's really getting a lot of wheel wheel
estate out of that whip. And the next course after
the deviled eggs is truffle popcorn. Now it's got parmesan
on it. There's a great touch. It as a circus
after all. But this mustn't be a course. This cannot
be a course.
Speaker 2: This can't be a course.
Speaker 1: It cannot be a course. It can be on the bar,
it can be on the table. When you arrive. It can't.
What we can't do is have the second course have
people just sitting around eating popcorn. I can't do that.
Speaker 3: I don't know how that could fit because I did
think that over as well doing especially since the first
first course could be consumed in a nanosecond. So then
your second course is oh boy, popcord.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so off to.
Speaker 1: A good start, I would say something, I uh, oh, well,
Marina comes out as the contortionist and she is double
joy did so I guess that makes sense. And then
we get to the muscle man after a pretty uh
ferocious uh ass.
Speaker 3: This is you're probably referring to that gross ass for
that childer guest. Now, del I do want to say
that what they're doing here is they're toggling between courses
and these basically creative circus acts. Now you you glossed
over Harry the draft, and I was asking myself, is this.
Speaker 1: No no no no no no no no.
Speaker 2: No no he was first? Oh maybe he wasn't. No no, no, okay.
Speaker 3: So I was thinking as I was watching this, because
you know, Laura apparently takes a lot of pride in
her work, why not call Martha the provision lady and
hire someone that juggles.
Speaker 2: Hey, yeah, right, spend spend.
Speaker 3: What yeah, two hundred dollars. Someone can like throw fucking
fire around.
Speaker 1: If that, you know, I would say, you don't even
need to call Martha. Hit the streets. There's gotta be
somebody throwing shit up in the air and catching it
axes or axes, chainsaws, knives. Just say, I'll give you
twenty five bucks. Come do this on the boat. You know,
that's all you need to do. So Nate looked like
he had a fierce erection or not. Nate nick Nick
the nerd looked like his u his penis was huge
and big and hard.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna give you see that zero knots, zero knots,
zero knots.
Speaker 3: For Marina, the contortion is either I didn't even know
what she was trying to do, zero knots.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, I give it. I give it eighty
nine knots. I thought it was fantastic.
Speaker 2: Are you gonna move on to the onion thing? What
was that onion thing?
Speaker 1: The next dish is of blue, but I did it
is double smoked. Because we have a little bit of
a communication and breakdown and I'm not sure if it
was the fry, I'm not sure if it was the time.
I'm not sure if it was the multiple iterations of
suffocating woodchips. But it looked wet and dead. It looked
absolutely disgusting, and there was some kind of some kind
of will did foam or guest streaka top it. It
looked like a jellyfish, and I would have sent it back,
but there's cream to throw. The clowns go up and
Serena is still flying blind. Big Red says it'll be
five minutes. It takes thirty seconds, and Serena is pissed.
Speaker 3: Okay, yes, the act did not last five minutes. At
five minutes, it lasted thirty eight seconds.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Now we go from County Fair to random Italian dinner. Here,
the final course is a chicken buttered up pure with
cauliful cauliflower, a little tiny rolled zekes ah. I mean
this is a hall of mirrors.
Speaker 2: I felt right like I was out of circus.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it was crazy. It was crazy.
Two pots. So Serena's pissed and somebody else's pissed. That's
Big Red, who we should say. We'll be driving an
interview with Big Red this week. She was so lovely
to talk to.
Speaker 2: Drop some bombs too, if you want to know where
she's at with.
Speaker 1: Harry Harry, Yeah, yeah, yeah that it was a fun interview. Okay,
sorry for my sniffles. So Big Red is getting thrown
all and round and all over the place. She's got
a clean she's got a wipe buau in off seats,
she's got to do cabins take pictures while Laura gets bonified.
Speaker 3: I don't know, from a clean perspective or cleanliness perspective,
I don't want her near a goddamn food dish. If
you're toggling, toggling between cleaning poop, it's a really good point,
Like that's disgusting. Yeah, that's how you get some cross contamination.
Everybody's eyes are burning red with pink eye.
Speaker 1: Oh, I mean even worse. I mean, this is the
beginning of some kind of Last of Us, kind of
nightmare that I would say possibly renders human civilization mood,
you know, I mean, think about it. The Tasmanian devils
are the only thing that could stand this thing. And
it starts from Big Red wiping fucking common shit off
his people's rooms. And they're going to serving wet, dead,
fucking bloomin onions. You know, it's really dangerous, locking crazy
bad idea.
Speaker 2: Who's the magician? Magician is Nate epic fail on every level.
He not just one level, all of them.
Speaker 1: He is so strange to me. He's like, I don't
know he's He's like if Bo Burnham was doing like
a male cheerleader. Nate Scott, he's he's definitely a duodle.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: The magician needs a volunteer, hesitant to his most are
what a magician needs a volunteer? You know, you never know,
you get fucking chopped in half. I'm not volunteering for
any fucking magician. You kidding me?
Speaker 2: Well, I didn't.
Speaker 3: I got picked out of an audience at the Magic Castle. Yes, dude,
he was trying to make coins disappear. Little do I know,
he sneaks him in my hand for some reason. I
go along with the goddamn track, and at the end
of the thing, I opened up my hand and drop
him out.
Speaker 2: Everybody was they were amazed. Yeah, yeah, I knew the
whole secret.
Speaker 3: He gave me like a look like, don't fuck with me, man,
and I just I just read the room.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because he was trying to get pussy that night.
Speaker 3: That's what they do, those magicians. By the way, if
you're ever in Los Angeles, don't go to the Walk
of Fame, get some tickets at Magic Castle.
Speaker 1: Perfect night in what you know, you got to be
here for a while. But if you're gonna have three
days in Los Angeles, I would say the Yamashiro Magic
Castle combo is marvelous. Marvelous.
Speaker 2: I agree with that.
Speaker 1: Yamashiro for Golden Hour, right, see the sun crest below
the horizon, this sacred city that is disgusting. Then go
down the hill to the Magic Castle and have a
filthy magician hit on your wife. It's a perfect night.
Speaker 2: I mean, I couldn't have described it any better than
you did.
Speaker 1: So yeah, book your tickets.
Speaker 3: Can I tell you about this entertainment that these crewmeverts threw. Yeah,
this is the kind of thing people would do to
entertain themselves if they were trapped.
Speaker 2: In a mine for three months. That's the level of entertainment.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think that the Thaie Cave diving incident, I
think this is similar to what the boys.
Speaker 3: Were like pretending to amuse the other ones because they
wanted to make them happy because they might die, right,
Like to be.
Speaker 1: The strong man with an erection, you'd be the contortionist. Now,
the whole thing, it's amazing, Like the pinnacle of service
on below deck is theater camp in the Midwest. That's
what the pinnacle of nailed it.
Speaker 2: Don't forget those dollar store decorations. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So it's everybody who's freshly been bar and Bob mitzvah,
just having a good time out in the Michigan wilderness.
Speaker 2: You know. And at the end of the day, you're
impressing the charter guest, stillan but you're also impressing another person,
and that is hot Captain Jason. Yeah, and he just
loved this.
Speaker 3: And uh, personally, I would have rented a monkey that
smells his hand after he farts before watching this or
enjoyed this.
Speaker 2: But yeah, he thought it was entertaining. So what do
I do?
Speaker 1: You know, people say they can be mean. I've never
seen a mean one.
Speaker 2: Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't never see a mean one.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that whack Jog documentary that came.
Speaker 1: Out that oh those were chimpanzees.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, sorry, there's a difference. Yeah, anyway, they can
eat your face off.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, no, And I'm kidding. Monkeys are are evil creatures.
They're they're closer to the primordial cauldron than we are,
and that means that they can access less nuanced forms
of evil but still horrifying.
Speaker 2: Well, eat your balls off if they don't like you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, I guess that's less nuanced
Netsli's like, we got a lobby. We can't have people
take maternity leave. We've got to sell them formula. Now,
that's like a nuanced kind of evil. Monkeys will just
eat your fucking testicles off, you know what I mean? Yeah, man,
all right, so we've got trouble in Paradise. Laura seems
to be dumping a little bit too much on our
gal pals. Alicia says, let's shot in the morning. But
I can't clean up after these fucking sea rats anymore.
They come in here, they make them, they gnaw through
the wood. I can't even would work. I don't have
time for this shit. And Laura says, let's talk now, No,
let's talk on them. You know, Laura's on a high
of such an amazing theater camp evening, but she shouldn't
be it's we've also got Big Red who really breaks
down and it looks like the turns have tabled.
Speaker 2: Yes they have.
Speaker 3: You know, being trapped in the laundry room a place.
That place will break you if you're not mentally prepared.
It's like the Tour of Nam. You go there, you
throw a couple of grenades in someone's hut, and next
thing you know, it explodes. You see crans flying everywhere.
Next thing you know, you're having night terrors and you're
never the same m the laundry room on these boats,
I would say it's exactly like that.
Speaker 1: You know, you don't hear any yelling because it's there
were so many of them that you threw in that
it took care of everything pretty quickly. But there's a
family pig that walks out. It's wounded, but it's fine,
and for some reason that animal stays with you for eternity.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you'll never get that out of my head.
Speaker 1: Just the family hog confused, where's everybody gone? They've got away? Okay,
So we cut back from commercial break to a fucking
cuddlefish crawling along the floor for prey. Don't show us that.
I don't think it. Vertebrates it's disgusting. Okay, Serena says,
you can always come to me, child, and she confides
in in. Serena breaks down in tears, and they both
you know, the conversation ends and they both say, I
love you so much. What are these sea rats doing? Saying?
This is a real pressure cooker of emotions.
Speaker 3: It happens a lot and then a lot of times
when they're saying they're goodbyes, they're like, I know this
isn't the last time, and no, it is more than likely.
Speaker 1: I mean, you guys will yell at each other on Twitter,
but that's not really say job life, not at all.
Speaker 3: What I was going to say about this is, you know,
we think of like Game of Thrones, where people have motivations,
they have a purpose of what their goal of.
Speaker 1: Yeah, not the White Walkers though they really didn't do anything.
Speaker 2: They just wanted to kill.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well they also just didn't do anything and then
they died in the end and nothing happened.
Speaker 3: I wasn't happy with that ending either, don't. But with
Pree specifically, she's.
Speaker 2: All over the place.
Speaker 3: She'll drop a dime on Serena. Oh yeah, she's also
saying that she loves her. She's thankful for her comforting her.
My point is is, I don't the agendas here are
all over the place.
Speaker 2: I don't know who's loyal to who?
Speaker 1: You know what it really really is like, No, you know,
when you get there and you're overwhelmed by the chaos
and the moral ambiguity of everything, you do go crazy
and you you will only come out the other side
through a crystal and understanding of those who can make
sense of it all. And that's why Kurtz got all
fat up the river, right. That was his name, Colonel Kurtz. Yeah, yeah,
you know.
Speaker 3: He showed up to that set and the director was like,
why are you two hundred and eighty pounds?
Speaker 2: You're supposed to be that.
Speaker 1: I was great, that's my Marlon Branda.
Speaker 3: He was supposed to be what's like the highest level
of like military like people that can kill, like a
seal to Team six guy.
Speaker 2: He was supposed to be that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and Marlin convinced him that no, no, no, no, no no, no.
Speaker 2: He ate a lot.
Speaker 1: Yeah. You see what happened was scratches.
Speaker 2: He's a Green beret.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2: They tried their best to hide that he was.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what though worked out perfectly. You know,
he filmed him. He was covered in shadow, kind of
making him a you know, a truly dark figure. It's
just it's the most perfect movie you ever made. Just
par none, right, don't you think?
Speaker 2: Uh? I told you a couple of years ago. It
came on. My wife thought it was a new movie.
Speaker 1: What do you think is better? ET? Or Apocalypse? Et?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: Get out of it? Are you? Are you out of your mind?
Speaker 2: Is it out of Classic? So it's Apocalypse out?
Speaker 1: But I'm just saying, what's better Jurassic parker Apocalypse?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 2: I hate Jurassic Park.
Speaker 3: Have a story, Just a bunch of fucking dinosaurs trying
to eat?
Speaker 1: What's better? Dead calm or apocalypse? Now?
Speaker 2: Apocalypse?
Speaker 1: Now? Okay, thank you. I think we talked about this,
but I saw a trailer for the new Jurassic Park.
They're fucking trying to take the tarot actyl's eggs for
cancer research. I'm like, hey, hey, I got a foam
finger up for the fucking tarot actyl. Okay, bite them
in fucking half.
Speaker 2: Oh no, I love that. I saw that trailer too.
It's like, no, there's another island. Oh, we're doing another
island thing again. Wow, can we get some writers here.
It's just like Star Wars. Oh, we're gonna have the
third Death Star. Yeah, guys, please.
Speaker 1: Gotta come up with something else. So Laura's stressed out.
That's why Big Red is not saying anything to Laura.
Mum's the word when it comes to Laura. Lara's too stress.
She's not going to drop it on her. But we
are going to drop off the charter guests. It has
drop off day next morning, next morning. The kitchen vibes
are firing. First things first, Green Juice. Alicia chats with
Serena about Laura, going, that was a weird breath. I
just took on you hear that I did? Ye? She says, uh,
you know, last night I talked to Laura about you know,
like fucking you know, she wants me to fucking do
all this shit. I'm i gonna do it.
Speaker 2: Here's another thing about I explain that. Well, uh, let
me break the game up.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 3: So Alicia didn't clean the crew mass and this is
going to be something that moves into like the next
episode in the one after that.
Speaker 2: It's a real point of contention for Laura. Oh yeah,
Now who comes to defend Alicia? But Serena.
Speaker 1: I mean it's a real you know, was it Solomon
where those two those two ladies were fighting over the baby,
fighting over the baby's Yeah.
Speaker 2: Basically that.
Speaker 3: So Sorena defends Alicia, citing that Interior can do this
if it's only going to take fifteen minutes, and then
Serena says, well, we can talk about later.
Speaker 2: Lara says we'll talk about it now. I don't believe
she has the authority to do that.
Speaker 3: They're both department heads. And then Serena threatens to talk
to Captain Hotpants and how do you like those?
Speaker 1: Yeah, this version is more like if the mom who
was the mom tugged at the baby too. Instead of
saying no, I'm not going to hurt my child, these
two are ripping at Alicia. They want her, they want
to consume, or they want her allegiance two yeah, two
Lionis is fighting over a sus chef. I guess. Laura says,
did you do it? Alicia says what and she goes,
we talked about this now, and Laura says it should
take you fifteen minutes, and that is when lions Serena
comes out roar, Okay, get someone in your fucking department
to do it. Be gone, which I mean, amazing stuff.
Now the tensions are really running quite high between Laura
and Serena, and that is when shuck shuka is served. Now,
the plates are scalding. Laura heads it down and says
the plates are scalding. She says they're so hot that
the guests could end up overboard. You know, they touch it,
they turn into like kind of like a wacky Looty
Tunes kind of thing in their heads. Okay, they go overboard, right,
and that's very dangerous.
Speaker 2: What is this dish dyllon shuck shuka?
Speaker 1: I think it's shuck shuka. It's uh god, it's a
pain and pain in the the took.
Speaker 2: His I've never heard of it as a breakfast item.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's a Middle Eastern breakfast. It's it's tomato
sauce with eggs poached in the tomato.
Speaker 2: Saw are you kidding me?
Speaker 1: Yeah? And you serve it with with bread.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 3: Personally, you know, she's really uh, I know that thing
was so hot that it would melt hell. Yeah, but
that's I like how creative that is. And Another thing
she did is a what was it a crape station?
Speaker 2: I've never heard of a crape station? Did you get excited? Oh? God,
crapes lots of range.
Speaker 1: I gotta tell you, dude, there's there's a place in
Venice that does a shark shuka. I'm not telling, I'm
not even kidding. It's one of the best dishes in
Los Angeles. I'll find it. I'll send it to you
so you can never go there. Okay. So Laura heads
down and lets her know that the guests are going
to turn into cartoons and jump off the side of
the butt if they touch the bowls. And this is
when things really fucking heat up.
Speaker 3: Bad forms Arena bad form here. Yeah, you think, Well,
she accused us of showing up late for work this morning.
Speaker 1: This seems to be. And we'll get into it a
little bit later down the road. This seems to be.
You know, it reminds me of that scene in What's
the Basketball Movie with Will Farrell semi Pro, semi Pro.
They're all kind of talking the old team and someone
calls someone a drive Turkey, and the entire room stops
and he's like, did you just call me a fucking drive? Turkey,
And it is really, really the highest insult you could
possibly pay somebody. The fact that Serena said she showed
up a little late to work today. It's like this
ripples through the boat and people are like, I mean,
I would not have said that, who the fuck gives
a shit?
Speaker 3: Well, I'd also argue if Laura, in fact wasn't late
for work, let it bounce off of you. But who
amy to tell someone how they should internalize something?
Speaker 1: You'll lat them? Is she Southern? This woman that says
let them?
Speaker 2: I don't know, Robin whatever her name.
Speaker 1: Is, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know. She hat very
popular podcasts.
Speaker 2: I think it's number one for like the last two butts.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's probably the Cia plant. Anyways, Alicia and Nate,
these two a couple of freaking dorks, a couple of doodles,
just sniffing each other's buttholes. So Nate's pretty chill about
or Harry is pretty chill about letting sea rats do
the anchor thing. Maybe a little too chill, Harry, can
you supervise these fucking sea rats? Okay, we get to
anchor Gate, and this is another thing. Is this this
bit of a fucking deal. I mean, I don't know
how much time has passed. You know, if Jason says,
let's get the anchor down in forty five minutes go past.
The anchor's not down, that's a problem. But I mean,
are we talking about a minute or two minute delay,
in which case, what the fuck is everybody freaking.
Speaker 3: Out of that? I occasionally wonder if this is edited
in a way to create drama that isn't actually existing.
I know Harry's not communicating on the radio, but it's
apparently a big.
Speaker 1: Issue for Yeah, well, a dare goes down into that hole.
Speaker 2: Never go in that hole. No, it's terrifying.
Speaker 3: It looks like there could be a clown down there
with a knife or something.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, oh yeah. I mean think about who is
the little kid that it beckons to Ritchie Richie, little
Richie bee beep beepepe. It's so scary. I imagine Pennywise
is down there, Okay, super scary, right, and he's also
a spider alien from this from the space what. I like, Hey,
Stephen Kinge, like, what what does this guy? He spent
a billion dollars with this stuff? It's ridiculous. Anyways, I
haven't read enough of them. I guess people say.
Speaker 2: I've seen four different versions of it. It's always the same. Horseshit.
They are adults, and they manifest their greatest fear, which
in fact is a alien spider and a real letdown
give the first part of the film.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so imagine a Pennywise down there. I'll spooky, crazy
alien spider. Okay, And now there are chains to the
right and left of him. I would say that maybe
the chains are probably even that much more scary because
if you put your finger in that, your finger is gone. Essentially,
what happens to it is like what happens to that
family back in the canopies of Vietnam where that pig
walks out. I mean, you're just you're a goner, you know.
Speaker 2: So I wouldn't go.
Speaker 1: They're pretty scary. I wouldn't go in that anchor thing either.
But darre doesn't know what she's doing. She's stabbing at
the wall and the cord gets bunched up.
Speaker 3: You know, I was asking myself this question, can a
lead deckhand.
Speaker 2: Title be revoked?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Because he is dangerously close to that. This is his
second fuck up.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean it gets into a you know, a
philosophical question. You know, if you give someone nothing, can
you take it back? It's a great point. Yeah, we
love you, Harry, love your hair. All right, dead mouth
five plays, and we say goodbye to these amazing charter
guests who were so sweet and so nice. They had
such a good time. And we get to the tip, pep,
what do we got?
Speaker 2: Twenty three grand? That's eighteen hundred each. I think I
rounded up, and the helmet goes to Harry, well deserved.
Speaker 1: Can I say this is a little too cute a measure?
Speaker 2: Yes? I agree.
Speaker 3: You know, in the severity that someone could have had
their hand ripped off, or the boat could have sank.
Speaker 2: You know, we had our yacht just sank yesterday.
Speaker 1: Oh did it?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Why my phone listens to me.
Speaker 3: I think I'm sure knows that I'm interested in these things,
and they I got fed a story of a yacht.
Speaker 1: I keep hearing all these freaking tech guys go, No,
your phone's not listening to you. It just has advanced
geo targeting. And then the bull.
Speaker 3: I hadn't talked about McDonald's in like six years.
Speaker 2: I tell my wife, should we go get McDonald's.
Speaker 3: The next thing I see in my fucking Facebook feed
is big max Y.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah. Did you go to McDonald's not for myself,
for my daughter? Oh? I went for myself. That's how fun.
I mean, Pat, I looked at my wife after we'd
consumed it, I said, sarcastic. I said, you know, it's
the oddest thing. I don't feel well, I mean just disgusting.
Speaker 2: I don't feel well after I eat that.
Speaker 1: God no, And when the cheese is rippling out underneath
the bun, there's this moment that you haven't even consumed
the food and the deliciousness is overwhelming you, right, and
then you eat it and you're like, well, this isn't
good and then you're done with it, and you feel
like you're gonna die.
Speaker 3: I've never talked to someone after they eat McDonald's and
they said, wow, that felt great.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that you're gonna die immediately, but it
feels like the beginning of a very serious problem, like
this could really escalate into something bad. But anyways, Laura,
stay here with Serena.
Speaker 2: Oh, is this Judge Jason turning into Judge Jason. He's
going to oversee a mediation? Yeah, yeah, Okay, this doesn't
go well.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I think Judge Shoody deserves every penny.
Speaker 2: She wants justice.
Speaker 1: She wants justice, and my gun, is she a firecracker.
Speaker 2: I can't believe she keeps going.
Speaker 1: I mean, I saw a clip the other day of
her dressing down some fat ugo because he was like,
he thought that he was going to get all these women.
He was sucking a bunch of women, and he was like.
She was like, you think you're you're handsome or something.
You look at you, You're disgusting. Get out of here.
You owe them five thousand each.
Speaker 3: The craziest trial I ever saw, Judjy. This guy he
got beat up. He was sitting in the car mining
his own goddamn business with his window rolled down in
the driver's seat. A guy walked up to him, punched
him in the face, broke his jaw. So he's suing
the guy who broke his jaw. The defense of the
guy who broke his jaw, jud Judy goes, why'd you
do it? Why'd you do it?
Speaker 2: He goes, I thought he was someone else.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, So that should we do? Judge Judy, like,
should we? I mean, there's got to be four million
episodes of Judge Judy. Anyways, So Jason asks if Laura
can work through things, to which Laura gets up and
storms out of the room. And remember, these two live
with each other. I've forgot about that now, goodness gracious.
Speaker 3: Meanwhile, Alicia reports to Bree that Zarena had lied to
her to get under Lara's skin in trading in this
type of deception. It will clearly get a fan base
to turn on you quickly.
Speaker 2: But you know what I love about Sea Rats.
Speaker 3: They won't let an ugly feud get in the way
of a night out.
Speaker 1: No, they just move right on, right on to the
night out. And you know, listen before before we get there,
I want to say, Alicia, Alisha's what the episode is
is emotionally manipulating us. Are good? Laura and Serena keep
doing this thing where they're confused about why they're fighting.
That they thought that they were going to be fast
friends the entire season. You two clearly hate each other.
I mean, Serena maybe hates her deep deep, deep down,
Laura hates her just openly. How did you two think
that you were going to work well together?
Speaker 3: I am fascinated. Was this episode or is it the
one we get to watch the stories, the different versions
of how Zarena?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, is that coming up?
Speaker 1: I can't remember where this is. I think it's when
she talks to Jason okay, and yeah. Laura says that
Alicia was in tears and now she's happy and she's
tired of all the fakeness and then says, you know,
so Erena got fired from the last.
Speaker 2: But the same kind of behavior. Yeah, the owner has
fired her. I believe.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And then according to Zarena, she quit.
Speaker 1: Classic I'm not fired, You're fired? Right?
Speaker 2: Is telling the truth?
Speaker 1: I think it might be Laura? All right, So we
get to the night out Marina Nick the nerd, he's
to her, Jesse and LEXI huh living now, Alicia and
Bree chat about showing up late that Like I said,
the sea rats are absolutely blown away by this. I
need no no, no, Sorry, bath Hosting. We're winding down.
You can tell I love a stray beach cat. Love
a stray beach cat. That was beautiful to see. Do
you have a strawberry coconut chaka maca? And they do
and they also have chicken bites. You can tell that
a restaurant is really top notch. When they have a
menu item it says chicken bites, carbone, Muslim Franks, the
best of the best, have a good bread service, a
good stiff martini at chicken bites. Okay, rest assured you're
gonna get taken care of. Now, Lisa falls asleep with
her eyes open and the boys go do a bathroom chat.
Now the boas in here needs a little gassing up,
and his boys are there to give it to him.
Got some shapes. Just have fun with the lads and
with the ladies. I like Nick. Nick's a Nick is
a little lord farquad And you know, I think he's
I think he's great.
Speaker 2: I am enjoying him on this show.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but really, this bathroom chat is to determine who
Nate plans on having sex with.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and we know that. Now let me ask you.
I don't know if you wrote about this in uh
Cracking the Code how to Close more Money? But what
do you think about the hierarchical vulnerability that is displaying here.
He is the headman in charge and he is asking
his underlings advice for pursuing a woman.
Speaker 3: I think it humanizes him more dangerous as a predator.
Speaker 1: Really, Oh yes, yes, yes, wow, Wow.
Speaker 2: You don't want to look like you're that guy.
Speaker 3: You want to look like you're the guy that gets
along with everybody that makes you more appealing.
Speaker 1: Okay, m hm, right, did you just pull that out
of your ass?
Speaker 2: Big time?
Speaker 1: Okay, So Brie and Laura head to the bathroom and
Brie drops a dime big red shame for.
Speaker 3: Shame, Zarena has admitted to her that she lied about
that thing.
Speaker 2: Thanks.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: And it is odd that they say I love you
and they go and they drop a time. These sea rats,
I mean, their moral compass is completely.
Speaker 2: Shattered, tired, you get it.
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm gonna tease this for APS, there is a
couple that has a kid the same age as Elliott's
as Elliott and we were out at a group thing
where everyone was eating dinner having pizza. In this particular couple.
The wife told me that my next door neighbor who
we socialize with, was questioning how much money I make
and do I really make money in the podcast world basically,
and her husband was like, like, Elbringer, why are you
telling this guy that telling me that?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: Okay, So.
Speaker 2: I'll get into it on APS.
Speaker 1: Okay, great, let's talk about it. We wrap with some
more confusion over their relationship and some pretty serious tears.
Serena's really letting them flow and Laura looks at her
and says, don't buy it. Brutal clothes to the episode. Lastly,
before we go, guys, the reviews have been coming in.
They are so wonderful. Keep them coming. Let's crack through
two thousand. We really really appreciate the support. This is
from Saramonet hashtag eat Sea Bugs five stars. I'm used
to listening to the girls and the gay talk about
my trash TV, so this is a nice change of pace. Lol.
You know, that's what we're here to do. We are
not all the way straight, and we're but we're mostly straight,
and unfortunately we are filthy cis whites. But we're here
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