Speaker 1: Welcome to men, sex and tantra. Discover where your parents,
Speaker 1: porn and religion never taught you about being a man
Speaker 1: and having extraordinary sex. Get ready to have your mind
Speaker 1: blown and your world rocked. Hey, hey, hey, everybody, Tanya
Speaker 1: here and today is just going to be me because
Speaker 1: I had some thoughts as I've been working with couples
Speaker 1: around sex and more importantly, like what women keep saying
Speaker 1: about things that seem super confusing to the men that
Speaker 1: I work with. So coaching couples, what I do is
Speaker 1: I do a session where I talk to them both,
Speaker 1: and then I do a session where I talk to
Speaker 1: them on their own and then come back together, then
Speaker 1: back on their own, and then back together. And the
Speaker 1: reason for that is because it's so incredibly interesting how
Speaker 1: men are so different than women when it comes to coaching,
Speaker 1: when it comes to speaking about things, I mean just
Speaker 1: pretty well so different. So I find that really it
Speaker 1: works better that way because then everybody can speak frankly
Speaker 1: and nobody has to hold back because I don't really
Speaker 1: like and it's not effective. I mean, studies show that
Speaker 1: people that go to regular kind of couple's counseling talk
Speaker 1: therapy kind of stuff typically end up divorced, less happy
Speaker 1: than they were. If the therapist allows them to just
Speaker 1: say what's on their mind, that like, be authentic, be honest,
Speaker 1: just tell it like it is. That can be really
Speaker 1: damaging because for the most part, people when they finally
Speaker 1: go to counseling or finally try to get help, it's
Speaker 1: been seven years that they've had problems. That's a lot
Speaker 1: of water under the bridge. So all that water under
Speaker 1: the bridge, all of those resentments. There's a lot of
Speaker 1: resentments typically right, a lot of herb feelings, a lot
Speaker 1: of resentments, a lot of miscommunication, a lot of he said,
Speaker 1: you said blah blah blah. So when you finally give
Speaker 1: somebody permission, or maybe they've already been being verbally abusive
Speaker 1: to each other, let me qualify what I mean by
Speaker 1: verbally abusive. It's when you say mean, hurtful things to
Speaker 1: the person you love, calling them a name, saying things
Speaker 1: like well, maybe I'll go get it somewhere else. Anything
Speaker 1: that's threatening or belittling or shaming or just nasty is
Speaker 1: emotionally abusive. Just so you know, So a lot of
Speaker 1: you out there might be emotionally abusing somebody or be
Speaker 1: in a joint emotionally abusive kind of communication loop. That's yeah,
Speaker 1: but you should know that it's not just hurtful, it's destructive.
Speaker 1: So okay, by the time you get to trying to
Speaker 1: get to a problem, there's a lot of stuff buried.
Speaker 1: And so when people just say just talk about whatever
Speaker 1: you want, just tell them the truth, most of the
Speaker 1: time you don't have good communication skills, or you probably
Speaker 1: wouldn't be in this problem in the first place. So
Speaker 1: the first thing is having to learn how to actually
Speaker 1: say things in a way that doesn't make things worse
Speaker 1: I personally. Okay, so you already know this if you
Speaker 1: listen to my show. I have been in a lot
Speaker 1: of relationships, A lot, a lot, let me say that again,
Speaker 1: a lot of relationships. So some people occasionally say to me, well, Tanya,
Speaker 1: if you've been in a lot of relationships, how do
Speaker 1: you know how to help people stay in a long
Speaker 1: term one? Well, because I know every single thing that
Speaker 1: people do have done in a relationship to screw it up.
Speaker 1: That's right. I absolutely have been in so many different
Speaker 1: types of dynamics and relationships that I know all the
Speaker 1: tricks and tips and all the things that don't work
Speaker 1: as well as the ones that do so. Anyway, well,
Speaker 1: let me back up communication. Why is it that we
Speaker 1: believe that just saying whatever's on our mind when we
Speaker 1: don't know how to say it well, is helpful. I'll
Speaker 1: tell you right now, it's not had to take a
Speaker 1: drink water there. So, if indeed you are in type
Speaker 1: of you are trying to communicate with your partner, you
Speaker 1: are trying to figure out how to say things that
Speaker 1: are real for you because seven years you have a
Speaker 1: lot of stuff you probably haven't said, and if you were.
Speaker 1: You know, men say to me all the time, well,
Speaker 1: if I ever told her the truth, then oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: you know, we'd be done. Women are like if I
Speaker 1: ever told him how I really feel, we wouldn't be
Speaker 1: doing well. Yeah, How in the world are people supposed
Speaker 1: to have intimacy, vulnerability, true partnership when so many of
Speaker 1: you are lying to each other or omitting, and omitting
Speaker 1: is lying, not saying the things that bothered you until
Speaker 1: finally one day you just lose it and you just
Speaker 1: say it all and it's mean and it's nasty and
Speaker 1: it's all sorts of things because you've been holding back
Speaker 1: for so long. When the damn breaks, it doesn't look pretty.
Speaker 1: I remember once my partner was really angry and I
Speaker 1: confair why he was angry, and the next thing I know,
Speaker 1: he's saying, you know that thing that you did three
Speaker 1: months ago when you said this, and let me let
Speaker 1: me see if I can remember it, because it was
Speaker 1: something like I told him something that he was doing
Speaker 1: in the bedroom. Yes, I remember now. I told him, Hey,
Speaker 1: by the way, do you know when you rough house
Speaker 1: my nipples like that that it doesn't make me feel good?
Speaker 1: In fact, I want to kind of back up then
Speaker 1: when you start towards me like that, And he goes, oh, okay, fine,
Speaker 1: all right. His uh his reaction to that was not like, oh,
Speaker 1: thanks for telling me, which would have been much better,
Speaker 1: but he was kind of like dismissive. And I thought, well,
Speaker 1: all right, that was it. That's all we talked about
Speaker 1: there if nothing came for that except for him just
Speaker 1: not touching my breast, And I'm like, that's kind of
Speaker 1: not what I really wanted out of that. So three
Speaker 1: months later, when I actually said to him, hey, I
Speaker 1: noticed that you just don't seem to touch my breast anymore.
Speaker 1: Is there? You know what's going on? And he lost
Speaker 1: his cookies, I mean lost his cookies, like rage, screaming, yelling,
Speaker 1: all this stuff that I was like, Wow, that seems
Speaker 1: really kind of overblown. And then he said, you know,
Speaker 1: you remember when you told me three months ago that
Speaker 1: I did this thing you didn't like. And I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: I think maybe, yeah, okay, So he'd been harboring the
Speaker 1: tone that I used. So apparently he didn't like the
Speaker 1: tone that I used when I said that, even though
Speaker 1: I thought I was being kind and I you know,
Speaker 1: thought I was being like, hey, I know you want
Speaker 1: to please me because I understand you love me and
Speaker 1: if you you know, but it doesn't matter what my
Speaker 1: intent was. Here's the thing that's important. Doesn't matter what
Speaker 1: my intent was, doesn't matter how well I communicated it
Speaker 1: from my perspective. From his, he felt like I put
Speaker 1: him down or I just like trashed on him. So
Speaker 1: he'd been harboring that anger for three months three months. Now,
Speaker 1: some of you harber that like for seven years, like
Speaker 1: I said, but when he lost it, he totally lost it.
Speaker 1: And so his response to me telling him what I
Speaker 1: didn't like was to just not do anything. Now, some
Speaker 1: of you're going to think that sounds extreme, but guess what,
Speaker 1: it's not that uncommon to feel defensive when a partner
Speaker 1: tells you something and maybe they don't tell you it
Speaker 1: the right way for you. Maybe they said it in
Speaker 1: a way that felt, you know, bad, or they were
Speaker 1: trying to take you down or school you. Maybe you
Speaker 1: were insecure, and so you took that as a real like,
Speaker 1: you know, oh my gosh, you've been doing that to
Speaker 1: every woman for the past twenty five years, and you're
Speaker 1: just realized that maybe none of them liked it, so
Speaker 1: you're going to have an extreme reaction. So all of
Speaker 1: these things, right if you. Most men don't ever tell
Speaker 1: a woman, hey, by the way, I don't really like
Speaker 1: you the way you're doing that blowjob. You know, most
Speaker 1: men don't do that because they're thinking, man, if I
Speaker 1: tell her that, I may never get one again, and
Speaker 1: so let's not say that. But you get it. There's
Speaker 1: a whole bunch of stuff, and the most dicey conversations
Speaker 1: happen around sex and finances, but even more so sex.
Speaker 1: How do you tell somebody something without hurting their feelings?
Speaker 1: How do you tell somebody something and hope that everything's
Speaker 1: still okay? So if you're in a relationship where you
Speaker 1: guys can easily talk about anything, and you know your
Speaker 1: sex life is great and there seems to be no problems.
Speaker 1: I don't know why you'd be here, but maybe you're
Speaker 1: just leveling up. That's awesome, love that, But the majority
Speaker 1: of you are knowing that there's issues. Okay, So all
Speaker 1: that to say that, I want to talk today about
Speaker 1: something that seems really confusing to a lot of men
Speaker 1: and probably really confusing to a lot of women. So
Speaker 1: if you're in social media at all, you've seen the
Speaker 1: rise of these dark fantasy romances. Women reading all of
Speaker 1: this like crazy, take me, claim me. You know, with
Speaker 1: your five headed penis that does crazy stuff if you
Speaker 1: have it. By the way, if you're not staying in touch,
Speaker 1: and it used to be that you should have read
Speaker 1: Cosmo magazine when that was a thing. You should have
Speaker 1: been reading that, the five tips to make him crazy
Speaker 1: and whatever. If you don't actually read what your woman
Speaker 1: is reading, what your partner is reading, you're kind of
Speaker 1: missing the boat. But here's the thing to understand. So
Speaker 1: women are reading all of these dark fantasy romance where
Speaker 1: the guys have voices like this, you know, and they're
Speaker 1: all rab baby, who's your daddy? All these kind of things. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm sure that was a Larius because I can't go there.
Speaker 1: The growl, the dark ness, the like guys in masks
Speaker 1: with like, you know, look like you know, Arnold Torchenegger whatever.
Speaker 1: And women are reading these books and men are like, oh,
Speaker 1: like when Fifty Shades of Gray came out and the
Speaker 1: next thing you know, men are like trying to take
Speaker 1: their women, trying to dom their women, trying to push
Speaker 1: their women up against the wall and tell them what
Speaker 1: they're going to do to them. And the women are like,
Speaker 1: what the hell are you doing? The women are going,
Speaker 1: what's wrong with you? Yep, if you've ever tried to
Speaker 1: take your woman, throw her over the back of a
Speaker 1: couch and have your away with her and she's looked
Speaker 1: at you like, what the hell are you doing, there's
Speaker 1: a reason for that. So the fantasy aspect of these
Speaker 1: books doesn't actually mean a woman wants you to do that.
Speaker 1: Like Fifty Shades of Gray, if that guy hadn't been
Speaker 1: written as rich or whatever else, she hadn't been written
Speaker 1: as insecure, that would have been a stalker situation that
Speaker 1: was bad, and somebody should have called the police. Women
Speaker 1: don't actually want to be taken except in certain circumstances.
Speaker 1: I here's the confusion, because I have men, I've got
Speaker 1: you guys reaching out to me and saying, Okay, I've
Speaker 1: seen this thing. I've seen women saying this. I've seen
Speaker 1: all the comments. You know, go look at TikTok and
Speaker 1: look up some women reading these or talking about these
Speaker 1: books right and you'll think, oh, that's what she wants.
Speaker 1: Now if you already have a great sex life and
Speaker 1: you've played with some of that power kind of situations
Speaker 1: where you know, you come home and say baby, I
Speaker 1: just need you right now, and she's like oh, and
Speaker 1: you get the sign that's like oh and she looks
Speaker 1: like she could be interested. Okay, But most of you
Speaker 1: were doing this, like with situations where the woman's nothing
Speaker 1: interest in sex. You got problems already, things like that,
Speaker 1: and you think that might turn it around, and what
Speaker 1: you get response is like, what the hell are you doing? So?
Speaker 1: And then there's you guys that most of you that
Speaker 1: are listening to this show are good men. And what
Speaker 1: I mean good men, I mean men who don't want
Speaker 1: to harm women who have listened to the things about
Speaker 1: toxic masculinity. There's no such thing as toxic masculinity, by
Speaker 1: the way, there's only people who act like assholes, men
Speaker 1: and women. Just saying. But you hear all of that
Speaker 1: kind of stuff and you're like, well, I am never
Speaker 1: going to do be that guy. So now you've watered
Speaker 1: yourself down. Now you're all the way on the other side, like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to do anything to her with her
Speaker 1: unless I get total one consent. Now, if you're dating, yes,
Speaker 1: please error on that side. Right when you're dating you
Speaker 1: don't know that person, Please don't go all like dark
Speaker 1: fantasy romance on her, because if a woman wants that
Speaker 1: from you that soon, there's probably something wrong with her too.
Speaker 1: Just saying that's probably a red flag. But you're in
Speaker 1: a partnership. You have a partner. You guys, you know,
Speaker 1: have trust, You've built some stuff up. Yeah, that might
Speaker 1: be a fun dynamic to play with, but for god's sakes,
Speaker 1: don't water yourself down to not to be conflict a voidant.
Speaker 1: And that includes in the bedroom, Like it's okay to
Speaker 1: take a risk if you know, especially if you're watching
Speaker 1: her and she looks like she is kind of into you.
Speaker 1: All of a sudden going hey, I want you now,
Speaker 1: and she looks at you like, oh, all right, there's
Speaker 1: some interest. Okay, play with that if you go hey,
Speaker 1: I want you now and she looks at you like
Speaker 1: really seriously, now, now, don't you know I have this
Speaker 1: and this and this to do. That's not don't don't
Speaker 1: push it. But the idea of consent just because you're
Speaker 1: with a partner, you're in a relationship, you've had sex, intercourse,
Speaker 1: all of this stuff before, doesn't even automatically mean you're
Speaker 1: assured it all the time. See, And this is why
Speaker 1: this is so confusing. It's like, well, don't I have consent,
Speaker 1: I'm in a relationship, We've had sex, you know for years.
Speaker 1: Does not automatically mean consent. No, no, really it doesn't
Speaker 1: because everything is a moment by moment experience. So it
Speaker 1: starts with the fact that in a relationship that is sexual,
Speaker 1: where intercourse has been part of the event, part of
Speaker 1: the activity of sex. And you might think, wait, what, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it shouldn't always be. It doesn't always have to be.
Speaker 1: There should be conversations around this before action is taken.
Speaker 1: For instance, Hey, when I ask women do you like sex?
Speaker 1: Almost every woman has this pause right here. Now, what
Speaker 1: do I assume when I hear a woman take that
Speaker 1: beat and that pause. Well, first she's thinking do I
Speaker 1: like sex? This tells you that there's probably parts of
Speaker 1: sex she likes, but she's not sure what kind of
Speaker 1: question I'm asking, So I typically have to ask her.
Speaker 1: So tell me when I say sex what that means
Speaker 1: to you? And they'll usually say, oh, well, you know,
Speaker 1: intercourse sex, and I'm like, well, sex can be a
Speaker 1: lot of things. Oh that's the first thing. Oh really absolutely?
Speaker 1: Do you think every sexual activity has to end an intercourse?
Speaker 1: And they do this? Yeah, you hear that sigh? What
Speaker 1: does that tell me? That tells me that it's just
Speaker 1: an assumption that once you all have had sex had intercourse,
Speaker 1: that it's always going to be that sex means you
Speaker 1: do this, we do this, we do this, we have sex.
Speaker 1: It's intercourse. That's what ends it. And usually the man
Speaker 1: ejaculating ends the session. So they're not sure whether they
Speaker 1: like sex or not. And they might like sex. They
Speaker 1: may say they like sex when actually they just want
Speaker 1: to be connected to you. They may say they like
Speaker 1: sex because they like the kissing. They may say they
Speaker 1: like sex because they want to be wanted and need
Speaker 1: the validation that you're still attracted to them. So if
Speaker 1: you have conversations around sex, please be more specific, and
Speaker 1: you have to be careful, gentle, and allow for space
Speaker 1: for everybody to answer that question, because guess what, there
Speaker 1: are plenty of men that I've talked to that when
Speaker 1: I say do you actually like sex? Their automatic response
Speaker 1: is well, of course. And then I'm like, so, hold up,
Speaker 1: do you really like sex? What about it? And I
Speaker 1: find out that a lot of men like ejaculating. Well, okay,
Speaker 1: that doesn't necessarily mean they like sex, only if they're
Speaker 1: seeing sex as the vehicle to get to the ejaculation.
Speaker 1: That in itself causes all sorts of problems too. So
Speaker 1: when you parse this out and you sit outside of
Speaker 1: the bedroom, you don't have these conversations while you're in bed.
Speaker 1: These are conversations that you have when both of you
Speaker 1: have time, when you've said to your partner, hey, can
Speaker 1: we spend some time talking about our sex life when
Speaker 1: you have time, when I have time, when we're not
Speaker 1: exhausted at the end of the day, carve out some space,
Speaker 1: some privacy and say, like, we're only going to have
Speaker 1: like let's just talk about this for half an hour
Speaker 1: maybe or something, so it doesn't feel like it's going
Speaker 1: to be a knockdown, drag out or an all day
Speaker 1: long event. Start small and start with questions that are like, hey,
Speaker 1: if you notice she reads that kind of stuff, right,
Speaker 1: she's reading smart books, she's writing reading spicy romances. Go
Speaker 1: look at what she's reading and ask her, can you
Speaker 1: tell me what you like in those books? Or tell
Speaker 1: me about those books? Just ask her to tell you.
Speaker 1: She might be embarrassed, she might be shut. She might
Speaker 1: be oh my god, I can't possibly tell you. You
Speaker 1: should have already picked one of them up, by the way,
Speaker 1: and kind of read it. Don't make assumptions. Just read
Speaker 1: it and see what's up, inform yourself, and then ask
Speaker 1: her about it. And if she goes, well, I don't know,
Speaker 1: you know, because she might be really shy. You'd be
Speaker 1: surprised at how many women seem like they're not very
Speaker 1: shy about sex talking about sex, but they are really
Speaker 1: shy when it comes to talking to you about sex
Speaker 1: because they don't want to say something wrong that hurts
Speaker 1: you or hurts the sex life or vulnerability. If you
Speaker 1: haven't been open, if she's ever said anything to you
Speaker 1: and you've shut it down, and it's good. You might
Speaker 1: have to ask a few times, and don't ask it like,
Speaker 1: what do you like about that? The tone is everything?
Speaker 1: Remember when I started this, I was talking about tone
Speaker 1: that my guy was mad at me because he didn't
Speaker 1: like the tone I used. So your tone is everything.
Speaker 1: If you are truly curious, you could say, hey, you know,
Speaker 1: I read a little bit of this book, and I'm
Speaker 1: interested in what about the book that you enjoy? Are
Speaker 1: there certain parts or certain things? And give her some space,
Speaker 1: don't directly eye contact or sit side by side, see
Speaker 1: what she says. And if she says, yeah, I like
Speaker 1: this in this part, is there anything? Then you can
Speaker 1: ask would is that something you'd like to have more
Speaker 1: of in our sex life? Right? Don't assume that because
Speaker 1: sometimes fantasy is just fantasy and nobody wants it. Really,
Speaker 1: I really doubt that women actually want a eight foot
Speaker 1: guy whose sperm turns into stuff that he can make
Speaker 1: objects out of. You know, I'm just saying, I don't know, maybe,
Speaker 1: but some of those books are pretty pretty wild, pretty
Speaker 1: out there is they're clearly clearly fantasy type of thing.
Speaker 1: But the thing you're wanting to know. Not specifically is
Speaker 1: the act of what's happening the actions, but what psychologically,
Speaker 1: What is it psychologically that she might be missing from
Speaker 1: the relationship. Is it the idea of most women when
Speaker 1: they want to be taken, It isn't so much that
Speaker 1: they want to be controlled, even though that's what all
Speaker 1: those books look like. Most women need to know that
Speaker 1: they are desired and that you want them so much
Speaker 1: you could be at the edge of your control, Like
Speaker 1: lose your control now if you're like, yeah, but I
Speaker 1: go by it. Every time I see my woman, I
Speaker 1: tell her you're so sexy, and I grab her ass
Speaker 1: You're so sexy, and I grab her boobs. You're so sexy,
Speaker 1: And she's always telling me stop it. Yeah, because you're
Speaker 1: doing it wrong, not because she doesn't want to feel
Speaker 1: that you are into her. It's because of how you're
Speaker 1: doing it. So the guy in the novel, he's probably
Speaker 1: built up here's your main takeaway for his books. They
Speaker 1: have built up sexual tension over a long period of time.
Speaker 1: The guy didn't just walk up to her out of
Speaker 1: the blue while she was thinking about something and take her. No,
Speaker 1: that's called rape. Usually, No, there was tension built up,
Speaker 1: there was forbidden, something there was. Yeah, the guy was
Speaker 1: totally like a control freaking never broke for anybody. But
Speaker 1: he could not absolutely not be inspired or overtaken or
Speaker 1: somehow moved by her in such a way that he
Speaker 1: wasn't his typical self. Okay, that's the biggest key in
Speaker 1: these things is that it's a build up. A build
Speaker 1: up woman says to you, really, I need you to
Speaker 1: help me be more aroused. I like sex, but I
Speaker 1: just you know, it feels like going from zero to
Speaker 1: one hundred and five minutes. That doesn't for me. I'm
Speaker 1: thinking about the kids, I'm thinking about laundry, I'm thinking
Speaker 1: about all these things. And build up isn't just when
Speaker 1: you're for play, right, Built for play is like an
Speaker 1: all day, everyday event. For play is keeping her knowing
Speaker 1: that you're thinking about her and in the window is
Speaker 1: some good, you know, learn the arts of different ways
Speaker 1: of being seductive if you're just like, hey, nice rack,
Speaker 1: unless she specifically likes that, most women don't, So take
Speaker 1: some time to educate yourself. Read some of those books,
Speaker 1: see what they're saying, and be careful, for God's sake,
Speaker 1: be careful with that's a good girl. You're going to
Speaker 1: see or hear a lot of good girl in some
Speaker 1: of these books. And yet I've done a poll that
Speaker 1: says most women don't like that. They'll let but here's
Speaker 1: what they're doing in the book. They're letting it go
Speaker 1: because everything else is so hot they can handle that's
Speaker 1: a good girl, that's my girl better. But some women
Speaker 1: don't even want to hear the girl referenced when it
Speaker 1: comes to south because they're thinking, yeah, too young, don't
Speaker 1: want to hear that word. Everybody is different, so the
Speaker 1: type of words somebody wants to hear, you're probably different too.
Speaker 1: Some of you love to be called daddy. Some of
Speaker 1: you are like, don't ever call me daddy again. My God,
Speaker 1: don't let that come out of your mouth even once.
Speaker 1: We're all different. So that's a conversation I have too,
Speaker 1: What kind of words turn you on and in what context?
Speaker 1: In what context? Right? Okay, good men, most of you
Speaker 1: are good men. I would bet that ninety nine point
Speaker 1: nine nine nine percent of you are good men. In fact,
Speaker 1: I'm going to go for one hundred. You're good men.
Speaker 1: You just may not have the education that you need
Speaker 1: when it comes to sex. And women, even if you
Speaker 1: think you do, you may be missing some stuff. So
Speaker 1: having conversations microdoses of conversations. Don't ever put a bunch
Speaker 1: of more. Women do this and men do. Put a
Speaker 1: bunch of stuff in the laundry basket and take it
Speaker 1: all out and talk about it all at the same time.
Speaker 1: Not good, but paying attention to what your woman is
Speaker 1: doing in her off time, reading some of the stuff
Speaker 1: she reads, watch some of the TV shows she reads
Speaker 1: or she watches. For you guys watching chick flicks, thank you,
Speaker 1: but you know you know why you're watching them, right.
Speaker 1: You're looking for clues to be able to ask questions, Hey,
Speaker 1: when so and so did that? Did you think that
Speaker 1: was hot? And if I were to do that, would
Speaker 1: you think that's hot? Because him doing it and you
Speaker 1: doing it? Maybe two different things don't make assumptions, right, Okay,
Speaker 1: So what'd you get, hopefully from this? I hope what
Speaker 1: you got is you should be continuing to educate yourself
Speaker 1: about your partner and sex or women in general. If
Speaker 1: you're single, this is a great time to start picking
Speaker 1: up some of those books or watching those tiktoks and
Speaker 1: seeing that. But more importantly, having conversations before you make
Speaker 1: assumptions about what to do. And the most important thing
Speaker 1: almost every every single woman says to me about sex
Speaker 1: is that men push too far too fast. Now, look,
Speaker 1: if a woman is begging you, like begging you do
Speaker 1: it now. Take her now. Yeah, you can leave her
Speaker 1: waiting just a little bit longer, because nobody ever died
Speaker 1: from wanting. There's nothing sexier, I think than somebody who's wanting.
Speaker 1: But you know, you're assured, pretty assured for the most
Speaker 1: part that things are okay. There are women who do
Speaker 1: not want for play and do not want intimacy, and
Speaker 1: all they want you to do is bang them and
Speaker 1: get it over with. And the keyword there was get
Speaker 1: it over with, And so you have to kind of
Speaker 1: look out for that too. If she doesn't want to
Speaker 1: actually do other things and all she wants you to
Speaker 1: do is, like, you know, bang her for five minutes.
Speaker 1: Everybody be done. That's it. There's something missing there too.
Speaker 1: But ideally you always want to leave a woman wanting.
Speaker 1: You want to be in restraint. So the main thing
Speaker 1: is you have control over your sexual energy and yourself,
Speaker 1: and you use your words to let her know how
Speaker 1: hard it is maybe to restrain yourself. That starts to
Speaker 1: be sexy for most women, not all women. For most women,
Speaker 1: the idea that you want her so much, but you
Speaker 1: also have unbelievable restrain and control. That's hot. Remember that. Okay,
Speaker 1: ask questions. You all know that you can drop me.
Speaker 1: You know, you can hit me up on Facebook, or
Speaker 1: you know, drop me an email. My email address is
Speaker 1: usually everywhere, or you know, google me. For God's sake,
Speaker 1: I think I'm on thirty pages of Google and ask
Speaker 1: questions that you want me to answer or talk about
Speaker 1: on these podcasts. Right, happy to do that. And you
Speaker 1: know it's more important to me that I know what
Speaker 1: it is that's important to you so that I can
Speaker 1: get you the info you need. Thanks for being here
Speaker 1: with me. I really appreciate y'all, And thank you for
Speaker 1: those of you who do you know, say hey, I
Speaker 1: love your show, I'm grateful, you're awesome, those types of things.
Speaker 1: I always appreciate it because, you know, being out here
Speaker 1: without any feedback always makes me wonder. So feedback is good.
Speaker 1: There's another thing women like. Give me feedback. You probably
Speaker 1: like that too. We all want to know what we're
Speaker 1: doing well and right. Thank you for those of you
Speaker 1: who let me know, email me and tell me you're
Speaker 1: enjoying it, or it's helped you, or something great it's
Speaker 1: going on with us. I appreciate you so much and
Speaker 1: we will talk again soon