WEBVTT

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<v Speaker 1>From Workhouse Connect and aj Benze fame Uh he'd liked

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<v Speaker 1>to be walked on a leash and play really dirty,

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<v Speaker 1>kinky sex games. Is uh the guy put the cock

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<v Speaker 1>in the peacock network. Okay, bitch, Hey, everybody AJ Benz

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<v Speaker 1>are here with fame is a bitch. This is your

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<v Speaker 1>daily Unfiltered podcast for November twenty sixth No. Twenty seven

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<v Speaker 1>four two four. Look at that? Look at this? What

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<v Speaker 1>have we got tomorrow? Are you down? Tomorrow's the big day? No, actually,

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<v Speaker 1>Thursday's the big day? Asshole? What's wrong with me? I

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<v Speaker 1>just I just want the holiday to get here sooner.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sitting here waiting for box Spring, mattress and something

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<v Speaker 1>else to be delivered. I'm at the mercy of these

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<v Speaker 1>you know, the people who come with the trucks with

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<v Speaker 1>your shit, and it's so I'm waiting. I'm waiting. So

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<v Speaker 1>I'm landlocked all day. I got to split at like

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<v Speaker 1>six point thirty for Rocos game. Great game last night

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<v Speaker 1>really really brought me back. I'm going to do a

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<v Speaker 1>show on that at some point. But going to his

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<v Speaker 1>high school game last night, watching all the boys play

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<v Speaker 1>and hearing the squeaks of the sneaker and in the

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<v Speaker 1>gym and fans cheering, and man, it just shocked me

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<v Speaker 1>right back to high school. And I love anything that

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<v Speaker 1>puts me in that mood. When I tell Dagavino a

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<v Speaker 1>couple of days ago that Roccos season began, uh, He's

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<v Speaker 1>just like, oh, Bro, I'm gonna miss that. You're going

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<v Speaker 1>I missed that so much. My son Law was a

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<v Speaker 1>terrific basketball player, developed a really good outside shot and

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<v Speaker 1>really made a difference in a lot of games. And

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know how many years ago, let's say three

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<v Speaker 1>years ago. He's playing high school ball and his school

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<v Speaker 1>was good, and they went up against Sierra Canyon, who

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<v Speaker 1>at the time had Lebron James son, Bronnie, who is

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<v Speaker 1>now a pro, even though he's not nearly ready for that,

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<v Speaker 1>but whatever. And I'll tell you I took Rocco to

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<v Speaker 1>the game and we sat with Mike obviously, and his

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<v Speaker 1>son had a good game, and you know, Lebron's son did, okay.

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<v Speaker 1>Lebron came to the game, he was there, a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of people went up to him. We didn't bother him,

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<v Speaker 1>but I think that was a real seminal moment for

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<v Speaker 1>Rocco to see that how great high school ball can be.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, this is COVID, right before COVID hit, and

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<v Speaker 1>things were just moving along so fast. We were playing

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<v Speaker 1>little league football, going undefeated and banged the rug got

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<v Speaker 1>pulled out from under us. I say us, but really

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<v Speaker 1>got pulled out from under So many kids, so many kids,

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<v Speaker 1>high school, little league, no prom, no grudge, no flirting

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<v Speaker 1>with the pretty girl next door, no flirting with Sue

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<v Speaker 1>Andino like daddy did. What a goddamn shame. And these

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<v Speaker 1>kids are going to come out into society without ever

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<v Speaker 1>knowing the feeling of some of those wonderful moments in life.

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<v Speaker 1>But that's why I told you from day one, doctor

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<v Speaker 1>Fauci's a fucking liar, phony bastard, and nobody should listen

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<v Speaker 1>to it. I remember being the only person at grocery

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<v Speaker 1>stores and department stores who would raise a stink with

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<v Speaker 1>some of the rules. I remember waiting online at Ralph's,

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<v Speaker 1>which is our big supermarket chain out here, and I got,

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<v Speaker 1>what the fuck is? It was a line out the

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<v Speaker 1>door at Ralphs with like thirty people long. I was

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<v Speaker 1>going to get ice cream for the wife and kids,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm like, what the hell? I gotta wait because

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<v Speaker 1>this is where the ice cream is, and asking Ramas

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<v Speaker 1>is closed because of COVID, So I'll wait. The line's

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<v Speaker 1>going very slow. You enter in one door only when

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<v Speaker 1>people exit the other door thirty yards away, and I'm waiting.

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<v Speaker 1>Two people leave, two people in the three people leave.

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<v Speaker 1>That kind of shit. Once we get in, there's arrows

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<v Speaker 1>pointing what you guys, remember, arrows pointing which way to go,

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<v Speaker 1>little stickers on the ground noting six foot and you can.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm the only person going, what is this nonsense?

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<v Speaker 1>These masks don't do a fucking thing. I'm six feet

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<v Speaker 1>away from you, but I can be three feet away

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<v Speaker 1>from the cashia. Does this make any sense to anybody?

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<v Speaker 1>How stupid this is? And if I bag my own groceries,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm two feet from m but you don't count. No

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<v Speaker 1>one just sat down and figured out this nonsense of

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<v Speaker 1>how ridiculous it was. I did, and I was always

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<v Speaker 1>the loud guy. I went in to a weed store

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<v Speaker 1>the other day to get some gummies to go to sleep. Right.

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<v Speaker 1>I like this brand. I feel it's called now hide Hyde.

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<v Speaker 1>They're good goo gum used to go to sleep. I

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<v Speaker 1>never take anything during the day that's not my thing.

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<v Speaker 1>But I like nine thirty nine o'clock at night, get

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<v Speaker 1>ready for bed. I love it. He used to go

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<v Speaker 1>out at ten thirty eleven o'clock. Now at nine, I'm ready.

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<v Speaker 1>Even at eight o'clock, I'm ready. Anyhow, I'm at the

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<v Speaker 1>weed store and I'm about to cook for the kids.

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<v Speaker 1>So I'm like, I'm a little bit of rush. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>here's the first hint. Never go into a weed store

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<v Speaker 1>if you're in a rush. People who like marijuana are

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<v Speaker 1>never in a rush. So I get there, there's a

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<v Speaker 1>guy in front of me waiting. I give the guy

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<v Speaker 1>my license. I'm ready to go. He says, okay, you

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<v Speaker 1>just gotta wait until two people exit. I'm looking into

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<v Speaker 1>the place where people are shot. There's three people in there.

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<v Speaker 1>I said, what's the problem. Why can't I can't get it?

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<v Speaker 1>Walk in and make it four people? Well, we only

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<v Speaker 1>have two bud tenders. Bud tenders, not bartenders, bud tenders.

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<v Speaker 1>I said, yeah, yeah, there's only two of them, and

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<v Speaker 1>there are three people in there, and they're okay, So

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<v Speaker 1>can I go in there and brow? Actually I know

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<v Speaker 1>what I want. Yeah, I have to wait till one

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<v Speaker 1>person leaves. You got to One person leaves and he's

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<v Speaker 1>looking over his shoulder at the bud tender says, I said, guy,

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<v Speaker 1>what are we doing? He goes, Dude, while are you

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<v Speaker 1>coming to a weed store? You're in a hurry. You

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<v Speaker 1>know you're getting marijuana. I said, look, give a fuck

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<v Speaker 1>what I'm getting. I could be in a hurry and

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<v Speaker 1>still enjoy a gummy at night. That's wrong with you?

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<v Speaker 1>I said, you don't have any kids, you don't cook dinner,

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<v Speaker 1>so what the fuck do you know? I'm like, am

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<v Speaker 1>I going to get bounced out of this marijuana store?

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<v Speaker 1>So I shut my mouth, did my business and left.

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<v Speaker 1>But I can't. The patience I have is as thin

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<v Speaker 1>as the salami. I like when I own a boar's

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<v Speaker 1>head salami. I like, I tell the girl, I like

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<v Speaker 1>it thin. I want to see through it like stained glass. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>today's a little bit of a different show. I'm going

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<v Speaker 1>to do a couple of things that we normally do,

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<v Speaker 1>but I want to read you a couple of things.

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<v Speaker 1>I know you guys, like the the hate mail, having

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<v Speaker 1>a hate mail for you that I think you're like.

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<v Speaker 1>You'll you'll you'll find out that a lot of my

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<v Speaker 1>hate mail come from came from Michael Jackson fans because

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<v Speaker 1>I broke that story, and boyd they come down on

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<v Speaker 1>me and I honestly scientology, Michael Jackson and the Pope.

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<v Speaker 1>Those three entities you can't fuck with or you get

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<v Speaker 1>you get hate mail. I mean, I don't know what

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<v Speaker 1>it's like now, but back then people wrote letters in it.

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<v Speaker 1>It's pretty crazy. But I meanhow the crazy thing today

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<v Speaker 1>and nothing that my Patreon listeners didn't know. I told

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<v Speaker 1>you this a long time ago, years ago. I told

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<v Speaker 1>you this that Wendy Williams her mental health condition is

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<v Speaker 1>so bad it's gotten worse. They say that. According to

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<v Speaker 1>a recent filing from her legal guardian that was submitted

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<v Speaker 1>to a New York court earlier this month. UH this woman,

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<v Speaker 1>the guardian, Sabrina Morrissey, who I believe is her niece,

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<v Speaker 1>says that Wendy's become cognitively impaired and permanently incapacitated. And

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<v Speaker 1>look that they're obviously blaming it all on the onset

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<v Speaker 1>of this dementia, and she's become cognitively impaired and permanently incapacitated.

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<v Speaker 1>The guardian unsuccessfully also tried to stop that four part

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<v Speaker 1>documentary that series. What about the Wendy Williams series that

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<v Speaker 1>really showed her in an awful light and showed people

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<v Speaker 1>exactly where she is right now, how vulnerable and how sick,

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<v Speaker 1>and she's crying over her finances. She's hiding bottles of

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<v Speaker 1>Vodkol over a room. And of course as the filming

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<v Speaker 1>rap they start to say, oh, she's been diagnosed from

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<v Speaker 1>frontough temporal dementia and ephasia to Bruce Willis illness, and

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<v Speaker 1>that affects her memory loss and causes her the rack

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<v Speaker 1>to act erradically. You know some of these things they're

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<v Speaker 1>saying about Wendy, I don't know. Basically, this chit Morrissey

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<v Speaker 1>is pissed off because she says, Wehndy only got eighty

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<v Speaker 1>two thousand dollars from that series and the producers made

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<v Speaker 1>she thinks millions. I don't believe it was millions, but

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<v Speaker 1>they did better than eighty two grand. But this Morrissey

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<v Speaker 1>has asked the judge that he needs to readat some

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<v Speaker 1>sensitive information out of the case about Wendy's health and

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<v Speaker 1>her finances. I don't know what she's looking to do.

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<v Speaker 1>I think this whole thing comes down to that she's

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<v Speaker 1>mad that she didn't get enough money. I don't think

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<v Speaker 1>she has Wendy's best interests at heart. I know Wendy's

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<v Speaker 1>got a new lawyer who seems to be on the

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<v Speaker 1>up and up and looks to be the kind of

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<v Speaker 1>guy that's gonna protect her from these assholes. But listen

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<v Speaker 1>to me. Here's the thing. This guardian is suing because

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<v Speaker 1>she's mad she didn't get her share, not because Wendy

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<v Speaker 1>was cheated. That's not what she cares about. And by

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<v Speaker 1>the way, this guardian is but under court order since

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<v Speaker 1>twenty twenty two, which means that she probably signed off

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<v Speaker 1>on the deal. Actually I know she did, and if

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<v Speaker 1>that's the case, then the lawsuit doesn't mean anything. You

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<v Speaker 1>can wipe your ass with it. But I want to

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<v Speaker 1>submit something that no one has brought up. And you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I like throwing out these far flung ideas or angles

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<v Speaker 1>I have because they often come out to be true.

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<v Speaker 1>But I'm just gonna throw something out here. I'm not

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<v Speaker 1>saying this is the cause of her dementia or that

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<v Speaker 1>this might even help her, But can we please have

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<v Speaker 1>a surgeon remove wen these triple H breast implants? Can

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<v Speaker 1>we do that, they're probably leaking poison all throughout our body.

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<v Speaker 1>And I know not many. I know women who had

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<v Speaker 1>their breast implants taken out and felt like they didn't

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<v Speaker 1>know what was wrong with them. They thought they had

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<v Speaker 1>lime disease. They thought they had issues with their you know,

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<v Speaker 1>not being able to what's the word, you know, just

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<v Speaker 1>issues with warding off illnesses and diseases. They just didn't

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<v Speaker 1>know what was wrong. They felt sick forever. They took

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<v Speaker 1>their breast implants out, or they had a doctor do it,

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<v Speaker 1>and they felt remarkably better. I don't like seeing women

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<v Speaker 1>take their breast implants out. I don't like that. I

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<v Speaker 1>like prest implants, and I just do if you have

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<v Speaker 1>a pair of naturally beautiful breast and forget implants. But

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<v Speaker 1>if you don't, and you want to look better and

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<v Speaker 1>you want to feel sexy, then have about it. I

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<v Speaker 1>hate when they take him out, But in this case,

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<v Speaker 1>Wendy's so sick, why keep him in? I didn't like

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<v Speaker 1>there's a man after her. I mean, I don't mean

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<v Speaker 1>that in a chauvinistic way, but she's sitting around with

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<v Speaker 1>these big fun bands on her chest. They can't be

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<v Speaker 1>feeling good. I say take him out, take him out. Oh,

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<v Speaker 1>by the way, some good news. I love hearing things

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<v Speaker 1>like this. Remember that little spoiled actress Rachel Zegler talked

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<v Speaker 1>about her last week. She plays snow White, right, the

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<v Speaker 1>one who complained about snow White, saying that Prince Charming

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<v Speaker 1>was a stalker and snow White would never have kissed him.

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<v Speaker 1>She even said during a press chunk at that the

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<v Speaker 1>original cartoon came out in nineteen thirty seven, and very

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<v Speaker 1>evidently so because it's a big story, a big focus

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<v Speaker 1>on her love story with a guy who literally stalks her.

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<v Speaker 1>So we didn't We're not gonna do that this time. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>snow White's not going to be saved by the Prince.

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<v Speaker 1>She's not going to be dreaming about true love. I know. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>stupid little girl, we all know. But you guys will

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<v Speaker 1>be glad to hear that. I have a source who

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<v Speaker 1>told me that she's not too nice to her crew

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<v Speaker 1>on the Romeo and Juliet project, and they all hate

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<v Speaker 1>coming to work, and they all love the nights when

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<v Speaker 1>her understudy takes over. Good happy to hear that, girl.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want to say the word of hate. She's

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<v Speaker 1>a very misguided, dumb, little spoiled actress who has no

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<v Speaker 1>idea that she doesn't know shit about the world yet.

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<v Speaker 1>And yet the way we treat these people in Hollywood,

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<v Speaker 1>the way their agents treat them, they tend to think

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<v Speaker 1>they do and they don't, and it just makes me

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<v Speaker 1>fucking insane. They're absolutely little nobody's. If you make the

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<v Speaker 1>studio some money, then suddenly they do whatever you want.

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<v Speaker 1>Hate mail time here we go. Hey, this one from

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<v Speaker 1>a woman named Tracy Hanks out of New York. Don't

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<v Speaker 1>have the year here, probably nineteen ninety three or four.

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<v Speaker 1>She opens the letter with something I'm not called too often,

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<v Speaker 1>but she addressed me as dear racist Fastard. Michael Jackson's

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<v Speaker 1>camp Sony Music and Michael zillions of loyal and supportive

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<v Speaker 1>fans around the world should thank all these scumbags, the

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<v Speaker 1>lying money grubbing handlers, the race, this white media, and

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<v Speaker 1>each and every lying low life who attempted but failed

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<v Speaker 1>miserably to bring down that kingnap hop and he brought

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<v Speaker 1>himself down. Should It's it's damn poetic justice that the

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<v Speaker 1>false accusations all the mediaized that millions of dollars spent

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<v Speaker 1>by the sleazy tabloids tablets didn't spend a dime idiot

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<v Speaker 1>have made Michael Jackson the ultimate victim and given his

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<v Speaker 1>career the boost it's needed to elevate the Kingdom Pop

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<v Speaker 1>to a higher level. Didn't know Michael needed a boost? Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>any doubted all that Michael Jackson's next record won't go

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<v Speaker 1>sky high and his concerts instant sellouts around the world,

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<v Speaker 1>creating mass hysteria. Your trip to Las Vegas for the

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<v Speaker 1>Jackson Family Honors was a huge disappointment for you, wasn't it. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>it was. You went there desperately hoping that the crowd

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<v Speaker 1>would rejet Michael, but instead you had to endure a

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<v Speaker 1>LoveFest between michael Is loving and adoring fans. What other

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<v Speaker 1>entertainment on this planet gets an eight and a half

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<v Speaker 1>minute thunderous elevation Only the King of Pop, who's truly

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<v Speaker 1>loved for sweet, loving, caring, kind soul and the fact

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<v Speaker 1>that he did old boys testicles. Well, scumbag Benza, you

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<v Speaker 1>haven't seen anything yet because that love fest she can't

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<v Speaker 1>even spell her words fbss lovefests. That LoveFest in Las

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<v Speaker 1>Vegas just a small fraction of what is awaiting Michael

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<v Speaker 1>Jackson from his loyal public around the world. Last paragraph,

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<v Speaker 1>after the parading, After the parading of you races hate

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<v Speaker 1>mongers on TV and radio to smear Michael Jackson, the

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<v Speaker 1>public still loves and supports Michael, believing in his tole lticens,

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<v Speaker 1>the only thing you you rack Bags accomplish is the

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<v Speaker 1>exposure of your wickedness. Now every time you're seen or

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<v Speaker 1>heard by the public, you're without credibility, and your evil

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<v Speaker 1>and wicked ways or revealed, you are much scorned and pitied.

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<v Speaker 1>You stupid fuck Tracy Hanks New York? Do you have

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<v Speaker 1>Do you feel that way about any celebrity that you

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<v Speaker 1>talked this way? I believe you're the worst type of

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<v Speaker 1>media person you and people like you not even gonna

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<v Speaker 1>call you a journalist because by no means to even

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<v Speaker 1>come close, you're a hypocrite. Pal. You're write about Michael

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<v Speaker 1>Jackson as if you are on some type of moral mission.

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<v Speaker 1>But the fact remains that the parents of Jordan Chandler

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<v Speaker 1>are as responsible as Michael for whatever happened or didn't that,

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<v Speaker 1>And as far as I'm concerned, being thirteen to fourteen

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<v Speaker 1>years old does not automatically indicate you are an innocent

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<v Speaker 1>read your own paper boy and me calling you a hypocrite.

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<v Speaker 1>I seem to remember that you have a what that

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<v Speaker 1>this person know? I didn't have a daughter in the nineties.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't even see this sentence. I seem to remember,

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<v Speaker 1>you have a daughter. How much would you take for her?

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<v Speaker 1>What's your number? Like? Don't have a daughter. I never

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<v Speaker 1>saw this before. I'm sure it means less than nothing

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<v Speaker 1>to you or your bosses, But as long as you

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<v Speaker 1>write for the Daily News, I'm not buying it anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>That's my small but important to me commercial response. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sure the News didn't know what to do after

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<v Speaker 1>they lost your fifty cents a day, but thanks for

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<v Speaker 1>doing all you could. Speaking of the Daily News, I

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<v Speaker 1>do want to sometimes I feel like I'm just I

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<v Speaker 1>don't want to get high up my own thoughts and

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want to, you know, read these things and

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<v Speaker 1>act like guys, aren't I great? No, I'm not, clearly,

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<v Speaker 1>But I want to bring attention to you because there

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<v Speaker 1>was a time in my career where it was really

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<v Speaker 1>it was about the blow. I'm talking ninety five. Things

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<v Speaker 1>were just popping, and you know, even I didn't know

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<v Speaker 1>what the hell was going on. Two periodicals were doing

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00:17:51.279 --> 00:17:53.400
<v Speaker 1>covering stories on me, one with the New York comes Over,

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<v Speaker 1>a paper we call the Salmon Colored Weekly. He came

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<v Speaker 1>out once a week. It was a good paper about

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00:17:59.559 --> 00:18:04.920
<v Speaker 1>New York's city, journalism, real estate. It really it really

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00:18:05.000 --> 00:18:08.279
<v Speaker 1>hit some big television, the media. It was a great

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00:18:08.319 --> 00:18:11.599
<v Speaker 1>newspaper for a once a week. By they were doing

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<v Speaker 1>a cover story in me. New York Magazine was doing

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<v Speaker 1>a cover story in me. But they were both different

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00:18:16.519 --> 00:18:18.599
<v Speaker 1>types of people. You know. New York Magazine, as you know,

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<v Speaker 1>got me in so much trouble, got me beat up

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<v Speaker 1>by Chuck Zeno, got my car burned to the point

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00:18:23.640 --> 00:18:27.759
<v Speaker 1>where I couldn't use it. It was burned, my underwear was stolen.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean a lot of things happened to me. Uh.

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<v Speaker 1>And this person, Nick palm Garden, was trying to interview

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<v Speaker 1>me for The New York Observer. I was giving him

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<v Speaker 1>such shit, like I have it on tape. You've better

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<v Speaker 1>not fuck me with this article. I swear to God,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll cooperate, but if you say anything wrong, I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 1>fucking you know. I talked to him like I thought,

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<v Speaker 1>who the hell I thought I was at one point,

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00:18:53.519 --> 00:18:55.799
<v Speaker 1>I tell him I'm not a I'm not a writer.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm a fighter who can write. And I was just

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<v Speaker 1>pulling shit out of my ass. Turns out this guy

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<v Speaker 1>I wanted to do a nice piece on me. It

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<v Speaker 1>was New York Magazine. That didn't hurt me, but that

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00:19:04.640 --> 00:19:09.200
<v Speaker 1>was glossy, that was a cooler periodical. You see, the

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<v Speaker 1>fame was getting to my fucking head. There was an

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<v Speaker 1>old publicist named cy Preston. He is to tug like

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<v Speaker 1>this Benza Preston here, and he'd give you these old items.

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<v Speaker 1>He Syde Preston used to give items to Walter Winchell.

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<v Speaker 1>That's how old he was. And he knew all about

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<v Speaker 1>New York and he represented so many people by the

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00:19:32.279 --> 00:19:35.400
<v Speaker 1>time he knew me. He was representing the woman who

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<v Speaker 1>sang chock full of Nuts as the heavenly coffee on

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<v Speaker 1>the commercial for the chalk Ful of Nuts coffee brand.

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<v Speaker 1>He had a restaurant called Nirvana, which was an Indian

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<v Speaker 1>restaurant uptown, and he just had like four or five

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<v Speaker 1>clients and you have to put them in the column

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<v Speaker 1>once in a while, but sometimes Syde Preston had something good.

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<v Speaker 1>So I was really messed up. Back then, and I

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00:19:58.759 --> 00:20:02.559
<v Speaker 1>set to side. Do me a favor. I'm not going

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<v Speaker 1>to get up early enough to get the New York

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<v Speaker 1>to get the Observer comes out like three o'clock, four

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<v Speaker 1>o'clock in the morning. Can you do me a favor.

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00:20:08.200 --> 00:20:09.960
<v Speaker 1>I was sick in bed, My back was bad. I said,

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<v Speaker 1>get the paper. SI, call me in the morning and

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<v Speaker 1>read it to me. You got it? So he calls me, Hello,

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<v Speaker 1>Preston here. I said, sorry, is it good or not?

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<v Speaker 1>Is it good? It's a blow job, kid, They love you.

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<v Speaker 1>He starts reading it. But here's the way they begin

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<v Speaker 1>this article again. I'm not trying to act like, ah,

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<v Speaker 1>not cool, just want to let you know what was

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<v Speaker 1>swimming in my head for a while and now it

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00:20:40.279 --> 00:20:44.079
<v Speaker 1>really did affect me in a bad way. At night,

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00:20:44.119 --> 00:20:47.359
<v Speaker 1>aj Ben's a hunts for items at Scores, Flowers, Lemons, Spy,

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<v Speaker 1>Mirage and other nightclubs where he might run into a supermodel,

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<v Speaker 1>Baldwin brother or a New York nick Oh. It's a

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<v Speaker 1>tough life for this thirty four year old wise guy

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<v Speaker 1>from benson Hurst, Brooklyn, but this is what he must

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<v Speaker 1>do to stay on top of things. As gossip reporter

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<v Speaker 1>for the Daily News, and they go about what I

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<v Speaker 1>do for a living, blah blah blah. But unlike others

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<v Speaker 1>who work in the gossip trade, mister Benza isn't content

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<v Speaker 1>to serve as a mere chronicler. He wants his own

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<v Speaker 1>piece of the action. He wants to be a star.

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<v Speaker 1>Strangely enough, it looks like his wish is coming true.

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<v Speaker 1>And they talk about the fact that I got the

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<v Speaker 1>talk show AJ after hours. I'm in ransom. You know,

365
00:21:26.279 --> 00:21:29.880
<v Speaker 1>he's pumped for the part. AJ was playing it cool

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<v Speaker 1>as he waited for it, you know, just they were

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<v Speaker 1>really blowing me up. I like how they ended it.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not reading the whole thing. It's long, and it's just,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, I'm not trying to act like this is

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<v Speaker 1>nothing special, but this is the way things are gun

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<v Speaker 1>in the nineties. And I just yes, and I did

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<v Speaker 1>say that. I say bow my stupid here and there.

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<v Speaker 1>But the way they end this is really sweet and

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<v Speaker 1>they got me. They really figured it out. It's a

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00:21:54.359 --> 00:21:58.039
<v Speaker 1>nice article. Benza stands upart because he's a guy for

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<v Speaker 1>the Burroughs who's crossed the river into a world of

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<v Speaker 1>glitter and Judy bound to share with the cousins back home.

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<v Speaker 1>He often appears part by. He often appears slightly owed

379
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<v Speaker 1>by celebrities, which some of his colleagues find endearing, others

380
00:22:10.599 --> 00:22:13.160
<v Speaker 1>final little silly, although it might look like an act.

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<v Speaker 1>By all accounts, as Persona is authentic. The change, the

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00:22:16.200 --> 00:22:19.319
<v Speaker 1>tough talk out of Martin Scorsese movies, the concern over

383
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<v Speaker 1>male pattern boulders, and above all, the obsession with hot

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<v Speaker 1>babes and the men who have made their names for

385
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<v Speaker 1>themselves in part by pursuing those women, Warren Batty and

386
00:22:28.200 --> 00:22:31.680
<v Speaker 1>Jack Nicholson Rain and mister Benz's stud pantheon. He cares

387
00:22:31.720 --> 00:22:34.759
<v Speaker 1>little for duty free airesses, but relishes his scooped that

388
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<v Speaker 1>Vendall left Ford Bottles and that are doing so might

389
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<v Speaker 1>result on her joining him for intimate breakfast. Okay, whatever,

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<v Speaker 1>This is where it gets ridiculous, and okay, here it goes.

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<v Speaker 1>I can't the irony question. His stick is that he's

392
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<v Speaker 1>cut the fact that this guy is analyzing me. Is

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<v Speaker 1>a guy named Neil Gabler who's chronicled a lot of journalists.

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<v Speaker 1>He's written books. He wrote a big book, The Definitive

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<v Speaker 1>Book on Walter Winchell. This guy says this about me.

396
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<v Speaker 1>His stick is that he's kind of low rent. Whereas

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00:23:16.279 --> 00:23:20.279
<v Speaker 1>most gossip columnists ultimately identify with the people about whom

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00:23:20.319 --> 00:23:23.680
<v Speaker 1>they gossip rather than with their readers. The notion of

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00:23:23.759 --> 00:23:27.759
<v Speaker 1>retro's sleeves can be very appealing. That's something he could sell.

400
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<v Speaker 1>Lionizing Hugh Hefter and Robert Evans is almost a form

401
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<v Speaker 1>of irony. And then he goes on and this is nice.

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<v Speaker 1>It is indeed irony that mister Benson pulls it off

403
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<v Speaker 1>without a wink to his readers. In the Downtown column

404
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<v Speaker 1>on mister Hefter, the columnists called the Playboy magnet the

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<v Speaker 1>king of all non committal men and proudly reported on

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<v Speaker 1>his own nude swim in the man's grotto. So what

407
00:23:53.359 --> 00:23:54.960
<v Speaker 1>if he made an error when he wrote that mister

408
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<v Speaker 1>Hefta's six year old son was the first child. Never

409
00:23:57.240 --> 00:23:59.839
<v Speaker 1>mind that Christy Hefter, the publisher's daughter, is forty three.

410
00:24:00.680 --> 00:24:02.599
<v Speaker 1>The main thing is he needed to get across was

411
00:24:02.640 --> 00:24:05.119
<v Speaker 1>the fact that he Aj Benzon from Brooklyn was having

412
00:24:05.200 --> 00:24:11.680
<v Speaker 1>lunch with hef True Playboy spokeswoman Cindy Rakowitz, who was

413
00:24:11.799 --> 00:24:14.319
<v Speaker 1>present at the Hefter lunch, explained the way that Christy

414
00:24:14.440 --> 00:24:17.000
<v Speaker 1>oversize Aj got a little too carried away with the

415
00:24:17.079 --> 00:24:19.200
<v Speaker 1>whole mansion thing, which is kind of cute, I think.

416
00:24:19.839 --> 00:24:23.279
<v Speaker 1>And then the final paragraph, mister Benson finds himself in

417
00:24:23.400 --> 00:24:25.960
<v Speaker 1>the odd position of making a living by getting carried

418
00:24:25.960 --> 00:24:28.440
<v Speaker 1>away in the land of celebrities. He's a fan with

419
00:24:28.559 --> 00:24:32.000
<v Speaker 1>a column, a stand in for every Tony Manaro, stuck

420
00:24:32.079 --> 00:24:34.240
<v Speaker 1>on the wrong side of the river. So if he

421
00:24:34.319 --> 00:24:37.039
<v Speaker 1>seems to gush now and then, just remember, it's because

422
00:24:37.119 --> 00:24:40.839
<v Speaker 1>he's almost there. It's this. If this TV thing goes through,

423
00:24:41.200 --> 00:24:44.039
<v Speaker 1>if the movie roll pans out, he just might end

424
00:24:44.119 --> 00:24:50.200
<v Speaker 1>up a bona fide celebrity himself. In the same day,

425
00:24:50.319 --> 00:24:52.880
<v Speaker 1>New York Magazine comes out, and right away I see

426
00:24:53.039 --> 00:24:56.279
<v Speaker 1>he looks like I call Chuck Zito a rat. It

427
00:24:56.400 --> 00:24:59.920
<v Speaker 1>was also I never told you this, but the dream

428
00:25:00.759 --> 00:25:03.039
<v Speaker 1>the writer came to my apartment on Madison Avenue, and

429
00:25:03.079 --> 00:25:06.839
<v Speaker 1>I had my three Yorkies back then, Marcella, Mercedes and Cheesrat,

430
00:25:07.559 --> 00:25:10.359
<v Speaker 1>and they were all cute, and I got their haircuts

431
00:25:10.400 --> 00:25:12.599
<v Speaker 1>every you know, five weeks or so. They had barets

432
00:25:12.599 --> 00:25:15.359
<v Speaker 1>in their hair. I kept my Yorkies nice and gay,

433
00:25:15.480 --> 00:25:18.359
<v Speaker 1>so to speak. This girl couldn't believe I had three Yorkies,

434
00:25:18.440 --> 00:25:23.039
<v Speaker 1>right and Chezray, being the only male, when his mother

435
00:25:23.400 --> 00:25:27.640
<v Speaker 1>or grandmother was in heat, he would react as animals

436
00:25:27.720 --> 00:25:29.680
<v Speaker 1>sometimes do, and he would try to mount or he

437
00:25:29.720 --> 00:25:33.559
<v Speaker 1>would mount them. Nothing ever happened, but you know that's

438
00:25:33.680 --> 00:25:35.759
<v Speaker 1>what happens to a male dog when the female's at heat.

439
00:25:36.519 --> 00:25:41.880
<v Speaker 1>And I said to this girl in jest, just this

440
00:25:42.000 --> 00:25:44.240
<v Speaker 1>is why Linda says, He said, don't let a reporter

441
00:25:44.400 --> 00:25:46.640
<v Speaker 1>follow you. You have no idea the way you talk.

442
00:25:46.759 --> 00:25:48.920
<v Speaker 1>She's gonna remember things and write things down and it's

443
00:25:48.960 --> 00:25:53.079
<v Speaker 1>gonna startle you. Ah, what do you know, Linda, Well,

444
00:25:53.119 --> 00:25:55.119
<v Speaker 1>she was right. So we're hanging out of my living

445
00:25:55.160 --> 00:25:57.039
<v Speaker 1>room and Cheesrae's trying to mount his mother. And I

446
00:25:57.079 --> 00:25:59.400
<v Speaker 1>said to the girl, you see, you see I was

447
00:25:59.440 --> 00:26:02.319
<v Speaker 1>assholes moved a little bit right there. Look at his

448
00:26:02.400 --> 00:26:03.960
<v Speaker 1>ass She said, I'm not looking at it. I said,

449
00:26:04.000 --> 00:26:05.759
<v Speaker 1>just look at his asshole. Do you see I would

450
00:26:05.759 --> 00:26:09.119
<v Speaker 1>just open and close really quick. She goes yeah. I said,

451
00:26:09.160 --> 00:26:10.519
<v Speaker 1>that's the way I feel when I see a really

452
00:26:10.519 --> 00:26:13.720
<v Speaker 1>plea girl that I want to sleep with. It was

453
00:26:13.799 --> 00:26:16.319
<v Speaker 1>something I said in jess as a funny little throwaway line,

454
00:26:16.359 --> 00:26:20.319
<v Speaker 1>and it got in the story like it began a

455
00:26:20.519 --> 00:26:24.400
<v Speaker 1>paragraph a paragraph when aj bens and sees the girl

456
00:26:24.480 --> 00:26:26.680
<v Speaker 1>he really liked to go to bed with his asshole puckers,

457
00:26:26.839 --> 00:26:32.359
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, what the didn't you? Yeah, that's what happens.

458
00:26:32.519 --> 00:26:34.920
<v Speaker 1>But I didn't listen to Linda. I said, Linda, this

459
00:26:35.039 --> 00:26:36.519
<v Speaker 1>is my shot for people to know who the fuck

460
00:26:36.559 --> 00:26:38.640
<v Speaker 1>I am. I'm taking it. I'm glad I took it,

461
00:26:39.079 --> 00:26:41.359
<v Speaker 1>but I definitely took some shots on the chin, that's

462
00:26:41.440 --> 00:26:46.480
<v Speaker 1>for sure. And finally, I want to read something again

463
00:26:46.519 --> 00:26:52.119
<v Speaker 1>to you. You guys tell me to read hate mail

464
00:26:52.160 --> 00:26:54.720
<v Speaker 1>and stuff like that, and I won't read. Have a

465
00:26:54.759 --> 00:26:57.880
<v Speaker 1>beautiful letter from my aunt Anna, my mother's sister, who

466
00:26:58.319 --> 00:27:00.920
<v Speaker 1>was so beautiful, and I wanted to read it, and

467
00:27:01.039 --> 00:27:04.599
<v Speaker 1>I will at one point because it's so wonderful to

468
00:27:04.680 --> 00:27:07.720
<v Speaker 1>have somebody like that in your corner when you're young,

469
00:27:08.559 --> 00:27:11.279
<v Speaker 1>when you're really starting out and you're just trying to

470
00:27:11.359 --> 00:27:14.359
<v Speaker 1>find your way, trying to punch holes through some wall,

471
00:27:14.640 --> 00:27:17.079
<v Speaker 1>trying to find the right person, the right contact. Is

472
00:27:17.119 --> 00:27:20.240
<v Speaker 1>this person going to publish this story? Then? Can I

473
00:27:20.359 --> 00:27:22.559
<v Speaker 1>move on to the next person, the next editor? Who

474
00:27:22.640 --> 00:27:26.079
<v Speaker 1>can that person introduce me to? That's your twenties. Your

475
00:27:26.160 --> 00:27:28.599
<v Speaker 1>twenties are all about finding the right person who can

476
00:27:28.759 --> 00:27:33.240
<v Speaker 1>hear you, see you, recognize your talent, move you forward,

477
00:27:33.359 --> 00:27:39.839
<v Speaker 1>contact somebody else. Just get shit rolling. And well I'll

478
00:27:39.880 --> 00:27:45.240
<v Speaker 1>read it. Because Mayan Anna, my mother's sister. She was

479
00:27:45.279 --> 00:27:48.240
<v Speaker 1>a wonderful woman. I took her to see Jimmy Rozzelli

480
00:27:48.640 --> 00:27:52.119
<v Speaker 1>at Westbury Music Fair and we love that she loved

481
00:27:52.200 --> 00:27:55.240
<v Speaker 1>went backstage, Jimmy hogged her and kissed her. This is

482
00:27:55.799 --> 00:27:59.240
<v Speaker 1>what a moment for her. So she sends me this letter,

483
00:28:00.000 --> 00:28:01.759
<v Speaker 1>and we did this. My aunt Anna and I wrote

484
00:28:01.880 --> 00:28:06.640
<v Speaker 1>to each other quite a bit, My dear a j

485
00:28:07.519 --> 00:28:09.319
<v Speaker 1>and this is mayn Anna. He used to sit me

486
00:28:09.440 --> 00:28:14.160
<v Speaker 1>on her lap, and when we put on records where

487
00:28:14.200 --> 00:28:19.440
<v Speaker 1>the singer only spoke Italian, Jimmy Rosselli, Josefie di Stefano, uh,

488
00:28:19.559 --> 00:28:22.559
<v Speaker 1>some Louis Prima albums, and Anna was always the one

489
00:28:22.599 --> 00:28:26.599
<v Speaker 1>who sat me on her lap and translated the words

490
00:28:27.720 --> 00:28:32.440
<v Speaker 1>with such passion, you know, just the way she spoke

491
00:28:32.480 --> 00:28:36.759
<v Speaker 1>about Jimmy Roselli talking about there's a song Any sings

492
00:28:36.799 --> 00:28:40.160
<v Speaker 1>called tatsa cafe a cup of coffee, And in this

493
00:28:40.359 --> 00:28:44.400
<v Speaker 1>song he talks about how a woman is like a

494
00:28:44.480 --> 00:28:47.680
<v Speaker 1>cup of coffee, a cup of espress. So you don't know.

495
00:28:48.000 --> 00:28:50.839
<v Speaker 1>You have to stir her for the sugar to come

496
00:28:50.920 --> 00:28:52.680
<v Speaker 1>up to the top. You have to stir the sugar

497
00:28:52.799 --> 00:28:55.680
<v Speaker 1>up so she becomes as sweet as she is. You

498
00:28:55.759 --> 00:28:57.480
<v Speaker 1>know you have to do things for her. Did she

499
00:28:57.640 --> 00:29:00.319
<v Speaker 1>just translate these things to a little boy? I didn't

500
00:29:00.359 --> 00:29:03.839
<v Speaker 1>know what the hell they meant? Beautiful? So she writes

501
00:29:03.880 --> 00:29:08.839
<v Speaker 1>to me, my dear AJ, just a few lines to

502
00:29:08.920 --> 00:29:11.240
<v Speaker 1>try to express what I feel right now. I'm trying

503
00:29:11.279 --> 00:29:14.160
<v Speaker 1>to keep a steady hand. Why because I called Nunu,

504
00:29:14.319 --> 00:29:17.160
<v Speaker 1>my sister, to ask what happened to the pictures we

505
00:29:17.240 --> 00:29:19.640
<v Speaker 1>took at Jimmy Roselli's show. She forgot and the role

506
00:29:19.720 --> 00:29:22.519
<v Speaker 1>wasn't developed yet. But she told me about Ron Howard

507
00:29:22.640 --> 00:29:26.359
<v Speaker 1>complimenting about you and the fact that you got the part. Wow,

508
00:29:26.480 --> 00:29:28.920
<v Speaker 1>what's one of my favorite actors? That Mel Gibson is

509
00:29:29.000 --> 00:29:31.599
<v Speaker 1>so handsome and so great and oh my god, what

510
00:29:31.720 --> 00:29:35.599
<v Speaker 1>if you outshine him? Oh shit, you never know. It's

511
00:29:35.640 --> 00:29:38.880
<v Speaker 1>in the books. You're going far. You can't miss because

512
00:29:38.960 --> 00:29:43.200
<v Speaker 1>you got it all so gofrid. I screamed so loud

513
00:29:43.240 --> 00:29:47.000
<v Speaker 1>and so hard that I lost my voice. Otherwise I

514
00:29:47.359 --> 00:29:50.599
<v Speaker 1>would have called you you aren't home now, Neu new

515
00:29:50.640 --> 00:29:53.640
<v Speaker 1>told me you're in Florida with the Trumps. I know

516
00:29:53.799 --> 00:29:56.759
<v Speaker 1>Donald Trump gave most of his information to Linda Stacy.

517
00:29:57.000 --> 00:29:59.319
<v Speaker 1>He must like the hot copy column to invite you

518
00:29:59.519 --> 00:30:02.680
<v Speaker 1>to his to get some gossip. I must admit. While

519
00:30:02.759 --> 00:30:05.440
<v Speaker 1>now and I spoke, I kept seeing visions of my

520
00:30:05.599 --> 00:30:08.960
<v Speaker 1>baby sister. That's my mother and your dad's reaction on

521
00:30:09.039 --> 00:30:13.160
<v Speaker 1>what's going on in your life? How proud, how show

522
00:30:13.200 --> 00:30:15.960
<v Speaker 1>off you they would feel about their boy. I could

523
00:30:16.000 --> 00:30:17.880
<v Speaker 1>go on and on, but I think you know how

524
00:30:17.920 --> 00:30:20.519
<v Speaker 1>I feel, as well as everyone in my family, that

525
00:30:20.680 --> 00:30:23.519
<v Speaker 1>everything is going on so well for you. God bless you, AJ.

526
00:30:23.920 --> 00:30:29.079
<v Speaker 1>You deserve it all. Always to proudly sign your aunt Anna.

527
00:30:29.559 --> 00:30:32.960
<v Speaker 1>Ps I just anam was like five pss per leta

528
00:30:33.200 --> 00:30:36.319
<v Speaker 1>ps I just spoke to Aunt Jenny. Are you ready

529
00:30:36.359 --> 00:30:39.440
<v Speaker 1>for this? Who would think my god son can go

530
00:30:39.680 --> 00:30:42.720
<v Speaker 1>so far and so well known? Did you see him

531
00:30:42.759 --> 00:30:48.920
<v Speaker 1>on heraldo yesterday? He was good and so handsome. That's

532
00:30:49.000 --> 00:30:53.519
<v Speaker 1>my mother's other sister, Jenny oh Man, She says to me,

533
00:30:54.000 --> 00:30:59.279
<v Speaker 1>ajps again on January fifteenth, nineteen eighty three. So I'm three,

534
00:30:59.480 --> 00:31:03.359
<v Speaker 1>isn't a cop I have this letter from your mother? Quote,

535
00:31:04.000 --> 00:31:07.519
<v Speaker 1>Dear Anna, here's AJ's essay, I hope you like it.

536
00:31:07.799 --> 00:31:10.440
<v Speaker 1>I love it because it's so true. He's an acting

537
00:31:10.559 --> 00:31:14.160
<v Speaker 1>class that chose him for three plays. He made out

538
00:31:14.240 --> 00:31:17.400
<v Speaker 1>great this term with a three point six grade point average.

539
00:31:17.680 --> 00:31:20.240
<v Speaker 1>He wants to act now since they told him he's

540
00:31:20.400 --> 00:31:23.680
<v Speaker 1>very good at it. Then there was a letter on

541
00:31:23.799 --> 00:31:28.240
<v Speaker 1>December of eighty two. Lily has worked on this without

542
00:31:28.279 --> 00:31:30.559
<v Speaker 1>a single day of vacation. I wrote about my mother

543
00:31:30.680 --> 00:31:33.759
<v Speaker 1>working so hard without ever ever having a vacation, never

544
00:31:33.839 --> 00:31:37.079
<v Speaker 1>going out to dinner, nothing. She loved that. And finally,

545
00:31:38.200 --> 00:31:42.119
<v Speaker 1>January twenty fifth, nineteen eighty three, attached on how Low

546
00:31:42.319 --> 00:31:47.680
<v Speaker 1>Can You Go? Was a story I wrote. Quote the

547
00:31:47.880 --> 00:31:49.839
<v Speaker 1>ending of the note she wrote to me. Your mother

548
00:31:49.960 --> 00:31:54.960
<v Speaker 1>said today in school newsday was going to take pictures

549
00:31:55.079 --> 00:31:59.599
<v Speaker 1>of the play AJ's in in February. You know, I

550
00:31:59.720 --> 00:32:02.680
<v Speaker 1>believe even to hear after Ah, this is Maynanna. And

551
00:32:02.839 --> 00:32:05.720
<v Speaker 1>I know Lily is out there rooting for her favorite son.

552
00:32:06.200 --> 00:32:08.680
<v Speaker 1>She used to brag about how good you were at acting.

553
00:32:08.920 --> 00:32:13.839
<v Speaker 1>Now the world can see it. She's proven right. Do

554
00:32:13.960 --> 00:32:19.400
<v Speaker 1>you agree these old ladies there's such classics they just

555
00:32:19.480 --> 00:32:23.759
<v Speaker 1>don't have. They didn't exist anymore. And Ali used to

556
00:32:23.799 --> 00:32:26.240
<v Speaker 1>live across the alley from us in Brooklyn. We were

557
00:32:26.319 --> 00:32:31.359
<v Speaker 1>sixteen twenty six. She was the dext building and with

558
00:32:31.519 --> 00:32:33.640
<v Speaker 1>a little kitchen and a window that opened up to

559
00:32:33.759 --> 00:32:37.079
<v Speaker 1>the alleyway, but across the alley was an Atta's kitchen

560
00:32:37.559 --> 00:32:41.519
<v Speaker 1>and her husband, uncle Dick, and her daughters Reenie and Terry,

561
00:32:41.559 --> 00:32:45.519
<v Speaker 1>and her son Richard who became my godfather, the great

562
00:32:45.640 --> 00:32:49.279
<v Speaker 1>artist Richard Mantia, and we would talk to each other

563
00:32:49.400 --> 00:32:52.960
<v Speaker 1>through the alley across the windows, and all the Italian

564
00:32:53.000 --> 00:32:57.279
<v Speaker 1>women with the windows up looking down the street. Those

565
00:32:57.440 --> 00:33:00.319
<v Speaker 1>were the first gossip columnists because they knew all about

566
00:33:00.359 --> 00:33:03.359
<v Speaker 1>their neighborhood, whether they're on the stoop or just looking

567
00:33:03.400 --> 00:33:06.359
<v Speaker 1>out the window. That was the first Facebook, that was

568
00:33:06.400 --> 00:33:09.319
<v Speaker 1>the first Instagram, and that was certainly the first gossip page.

569
00:33:10.359 --> 00:33:14.160
<v Speaker 1>And they not really around much anymore. It's sad, but

570
00:33:14.839 --> 00:33:17.480
<v Speaker 1>eventually we struggled. We put a string up and some

571
00:33:17.640 --> 00:33:20.599
<v Speaker 1>pulleys from one window to the next, and this way

572
00:33:20.640 --> 00:33:24.240
<v Speaker 1>an Ana can say, Lily, do you have a CANOPIEZ Lily,

573
00:33:24.519 --> 00:33:27.880
<v Speaker 1>you know you have a bag of lentils, And we'd

574
00:33:28.000 --> 00:33:30.599
<v Speaker 1>put things in a bag and zipping across the alley

575
00:33:30.640 --> 00:33:37.400
<v Speaker 1>on a rope system. No one had money. But why

576
00:33:37.440 --> 00:33:40.799
<v Speaker 1>do I remember those days as being so fantastic. There

577
00:33:40.880 --> 00:33:44.160
<v Speaker 1>was a boy at the game last night who had

578
00:33:44.200 --> 00:33:48.400
<v Speaker 1>a Godzilla toy. He was about three years old. This

579
00:33:48.559 --> 00:33:51.279
<v Speaker 1>toy was half the sizement, and I had the same

580
00:33:51.359 --> 00:33:55.000
<v Speaker 1>toy as a kid. Godzilla was my favorite monster and

581
00:33:55.079 --> 00:33:58.400
<v Speaker 1>I remember it. There aren't more than i'd say ten

582
00:33:58.519 --> 00:34:01.799
<v Speaker 1>memories I have of living in brit when I was swry.

583
00:34:01.839 --> 00:34:05.680
<v Speaker 1>I was three, three years old under but I remember

584
00:34:06.559 --> 00:34:09.360
<v Speaker 1>getting ice cream from the stoop, eating a cream sickle

585
00:34:09.400 --> 00:34:13.039
<v Speaker 1>with Rosalie and some of the football players. I remember

586
00:34:14.480 --> 00:34:18.320
<v Speaker 1>the TV had like a blue tint to it, and

587
00:34:18.440 --> 00:34:20.880
<v Speaker 1>whenever I would go to bed, I would see that

588
00:34:21.079 --> 00:34:24.239
<v Speaker 1>blue light under the bed, under the doorway, you know

589
00:34:24.239 --> 00:34:26.199
<v Speaker 1>what I mean. They would kind of refract into the

590
00:34:26.320 --> 00:34:31.119
<v Speaker 1>room a little bit. And finally, I told my sisters

591
00:34:31.159 --> 00:34:33.519
<v Speaker 1>one day, I remember when my toys were kept. They

592
00:34:33.599 --> 00:34:35.840
<v Speaker 1>were like where I said. I had a drawer full

593
00:34:35.880 --> 00:34:38.719
<v Speaker 1>of all my favorite monster's King Kong, god Zellow wolf Man.

594
00:34:39.079 --> 00:34:41.599
<v Speaker 1>It was in the kitchen in a bureau the bottom

595
00:34:41.719 --> 00:34:44.360
<v Speaker 1>draw and my sister's went, oh my god, how can

596
00:34:44.400 --> 00:34:48.039
<v Speaker 1>you remember that? I just do. But I saw that

597
00:34:48.159 --> 00:34:51.199
<v Speaker 1>kid last night and I said, oh my god, that

598
00:34:51.480 --> 00:34:55.840
<v Speaker 1>is that's the same toll I had stop me from

599
00:34:55.880 --> 00:35:00.519
<v Speaker 1>crying and stop the kid from crying too. Finally, and

600
00:35:00.639 --> 00:35:03.519
<v Speaker 1>this show on a I don't want you to be

601
00:35:03.599 --> 00:35:07.119
<v Speaker 1>sad about it, but I'm speaking about my mother right now,

602
00:35:07.280 --> 00:35:12.400
<v Speaker 1>my mother's sister. I talk about my dad incessantly. In fact,

603
00:35:12.400 --> 00:35:14.519
<v Speaker 1>I never say dad. I say father all the time,

604
00:35:14.559 --> 00:35:18.159
<v Speaker 1>because he was a father to me. It's different than

605
00:35:18.199 --> 00:35:22.639
<v Speaker 1>a dad. The word father is more representative of who

606
00:35:22.639 --> 00:35:25.719
<v Speaker 1>he was to me. And as you know, he is

607
00:35:25.800 --> 00:35:29.519
<v Speaker 1>a favorite of mine and I take a lot, took

608
00:35:29.559 --> 00:35:32.599
<v Speaker 1>a lot from him, and he was obviously very important.

609
00:35:32.800 --> 00:35:36.039
<v Speaker 1>My mother, you know, is an angel, but I didn't

610
00:35:37.320 --> 00:35:38.960
<v Speaker 1>include her in as many shows as I do with

611
00:35:39.000 --> 00:35:41.000
<v Speaker 1>my dad. So I wanted to read something I read

612
00:35:41.000 --> 00:35:44.840
<v Speaker 1>about my mother before she died. It's tough. I might

613
00:35:45.880 --> 00:35:51.039
<v Speaker 1>sniffle here and there, but I think it's good, especially

614
00:35:51.079 --> 00:35:54.280
<v Speaker 1>with Thanksgiving a day away. I think those of you

615
00:35:54.360 --> 00:35:57.679
<v Speaker 1>who hear this and have mothers of your own, and

616
00:35:57.800 --> 00:36:01.719
<v Speaker 1>if this could make you call them or get closer

617
00:36:01.800 --> 00:36:05.400
<v Speaker 1>to them during the holidays, that I feel like it's

618
00:36:05.440 --> 00:36:10.800
<v Speaker 1>worth it. So I wrote this at Newsday at night

619
00:36:11.880 --> 00:36:15.599
<v Speaker 1>in between taking high school scores over the phone while

620
00:36:15.679 --> 00:36:20.159
<v Speaker 1>my mother was dying, and it begins. Your mother can't

621
00:36:20.320 --> 00:36:24.280
<v Speaker 1>walk anymore. The merciless tumor is pressed against the nerve

622
00:36:24.360 --> 00:36:27.679
<v Speaker 1>and her hip, causing paralysis and her right leg. Your

623
00:36:27.719 --> 00:36:30.760
<v Speaker 1>mother danced a beautiful peabody with your uncle Nikki at

624
00:36:30.800 --> 00:36:33.920
<v Speaker 1>their niece's wedding last summer. Good then you took a picture.

625
00:36:34.719 --> 00:36:36.920
<v Speaker 1>At sixty eight, she told you she was still had

626
00:36:36.960 --> 00:36:41.039
<v Speaker 1>better looking legs than her daughter's, and she was always right. Now,

627
00:36:41.360 --> 00:36:45.239
<v Speaker 1>she doesn't say these things too much. Your mother's hands shake,

628
00:36:45.559 --> 00:36:48.159
<v Speaker 1>her voice quivers, and even simple breathing seems an effort.

629
00:36:48.239 --> 00:36:51.840
<v Speaker 1>Sometimes at times, you feel that doctors cut out dignity

630
00:36:51.880 --> 00:36:55.119
<v Speaker 1>along with her kidney. Last January, she was a diaper,

631
00:36:55.840 --> 00:36:58.159
<v Speaker 1>has no hair in her head, and hasn't looked in

632
00:36:58.239 --> 00:37:01.199
<v Speaker 1>the mirror close to a year. One day, a nurse

633
00:37:01.239 --> 00:37:05.000
<v Speaker 1>told her she looked pretty, and your mother cried. Your

634
00:37:05.039 --> 00:37:08.800
<v Speaker 1>mother tells you that story, and you cry. Your mother

635
00:37:08.880 --> 00:37:12.559
<v Speaker 1>doesn't call you anymore, doesn't want to be a burden.

636
00:37:13.360 --> 00:37:15.719
<v Speaker 1>You scold her and tell her she never is any

637
00:37:15.800 --> 00:37:18.559
<v Speaker 1>trouble and you'll always be there for her. You pour

638
00:37:18.599 --> 00:37:21.400
<v Speaker 1>her favorite cream soda, switch on TV, and turn the

639
00:37:21.480 --> 00:37:25.000
<v Speaker 1>pillow to the cool side. You are her hero. You

640
00:37:25.159 --> 00:37:27.960
<v Speaker 1>go back to work. The nurses says she's not eating

641
00:37:28.000 --> 00:37:31.000
<v Speaker 1>her meals. At least she knows she hasn't lost her sanity.

642
00:37:31.880 --> 00:37:34.840
<v Speaker 1>Your mother has come home to die. The final round

643
00:37:34.880 --> 00:37:37.639
<v Speaker 1>will be fought on her home field, with the lights

644
00:37:37.679 --> 00:37:40.719
<v Speaker 1>on her family around her, away from the blue and

645
00:37:40.800 --> 00:37:45.880
<v Speaker 1>white sea of her hospital bed. She's wearing her wig today,

646
00:37:46.199 --> 00:37:48.320
<v Speaker 1>looking for a piece of the dignity she lost a

647
00:37:48.400 --> 00:37:52.039
<v Speaker 1>long time ago. But she does look pretty today. Pretty

648
00:37:52.199 --> 00:37:54.960
<v Speaker 1>is that young girl that used to sweep your father

649
00:37:55.440 --> 00:37:59.519
<v Speaker 1>into her arms. Your mother lay sick and dying in

650
00:37:59.599 --> 00:38:04.000
<v Speaker 1>a hostile One day, she came home from work with

651
00:38:04.119 --> 00:38:08.159
<v Speaker 1>an upset stomach. She hasn't been back since. She winces,

652
00:38:08.360 --> 00:38:11.639
<v Speaker 1>she gasps, she moans, and squeezes her eyes shut. Sometimes

653
00:38:11.719 --> 00:38:15.760
<v Speaker 1>she's lucky and sleeps some. Otherwise she's up, eyes fixed

654
00:38:15.800 --> 00:38:18.239
<v Speaker 1>at the ceiling, awake in her own stool, and urin

655
00:38:18.360 --> 00:38:20.519
<v Speaker 1>like a dirty baby with nothing to do but crow older.

656
00:38:21.519 --> 00:38:24.280
<v Speaker 1>Your mother's slept all day today, but you came and

657
00:38:24.360 --> 00:38:27.239
<v Speaker 1>watched her for a while, her mouth wide open, an

658
00:38:27.360 --> 00:38:30.519
<v Speaker 1>untouched tray of food to her side. When you watched her,

659
00:38:30.599 --> 00:38:33.760
<v Speaker 1>you could have sworn. You saw her face twitch with pain.

660
00:38:34.719 --> 00:38:38.159
<v Speaker 1>You couldn't do anything. You tell yourself that if anything

661
00:38:38.239 --> 00:38:41.320
<v Speaker 1>else but death, anything had cause her that much pain

662
00:38:41.400 --> 00:38:44.239
<v Speaker 1>and anguish. You've killed that thing with your bare hands.

663
00:38:44.880 --> 00:38:47.719
<v Speaker 1>You grab it, shake and punch it, kick the teeth

664
00:38:47.760 --> 00:38:50.960
<v Speaker 1>from its sinister smirk. But there can be no physical

665
00:38:51.039 --> 00:38:55.039
<v Speaker 1>fight to an invisible opponent. There's no match there. You

666
00:38:55.119 --> 00:38:57.880
<v Speaker 1>read her a note instead, until you'll come by later.

667
00:38:58.800 --> 00:39:02.320
<v Speaker 1>Your mother wants to die. Long ago she decided to

668
00:39:02.440 --> 00:39:05.159
<v Speaker 1>put down her fist and invite death into a quiet,

669
00:39:05.280 --> 00:39:09.360
<v Speaker 1>sanitary room. And that's where death stays now, perched upon

670
00:39:09.440 --> 00:39:14.039
<v Speaker 1>the headboard of her bed, behind her door, leaning on

671
00:39:14.159 --> 00:39:17.960
<v Speaker 1>one elbow, right there next to her. One gloomy day,

672
00:39:18.239 --> 00:39:21.800
<v Speaker 1>death sweeps down on her, wipes its feet in her doorway,

673
00:39:21.880 --> 00:39:26.159
<v Speaker 1>and stays awhile. It's got no rush to leave, it's

674
00:39:26.199 --> 00:39:30.199
<v Speaker 1>got no trains to catch. That doesn't fight fair. But

675
00:39:30.320 --> 00:39:34.280
<v Speaker 1>your mother is not running from the fight. That's it.

676
00:39:34.960 --> 00:39:39.559
<v Speaker 1>I didn't cry. Well. Let that be a lesson to

677
00:39:39.599 --> 00:39:42.400
<v Speaker 1>all of you. You've got moms out there, and maybe

678
00:39:42.440 --> 00:39:48.119
<v Speaker 1>you're not doing enough. Maybe she doesn't know what she's

679
00:39:48.199 --> 00:39:56.239
<v Speaker 1>meant to you, and which still means so don't make

680
00:39:56.320 --> 00:40:01.079
<v Speaker 1>this holiday about a fucking turkey or a ham or

681
00:40:01.199 --> 00:40:05.840
<v Speaker 1>my case, stuff shells and chicken cutlet parmesan. Make it

682
00:40:05.880 --> 00:40:15.760
<v Speaker 1>about your mama period. Make it about your mamma. I'll

683
00:40:15.800 --> 00:40:16.519
<v Speaker 1>talk to this tomorrow
