Speaker 1: Come grow dirty, Come he did gain?
Speaker 2: Join the questing is uncharted? Join the Icy bast Six
writers face off by a roll of the dice Tale
Fine dirty leaping nothing behind but fingerprits and a.
Speaker 3: Wall tale stealing carts, breaking parts with plenty of time
to kill and.
Speaker 4: Icy Bastards tis always.
Speaker 2: Icy?
Speaker 1: You know the can't be tasty bastards gone to join
itenticing bastards.
Speaker 2: You know what A and Dban's junior registered friends. This
is the next episode of The Dicey pass Or Season two.
I'm MK Gibson, your host, dungeon Master and all. There
was several book series out there. My most popular shadow
Master series latest book, Billa's Academy, is now out on audio,
so please go get it.
Speaker 5: I want to eat.
Speaker 2: Who do I have with me today? Same oldcast. Let's
start with the Let's start with Robert Bevan. How you doing, sir?
Speaker 5: How are you apparently better than Bob?
Speaker 6: Anyway?
Speaker 5: My name is Rickbultirian. I play moog fish Eater in
real life. I write several things, the High Moon series,
Toma bill Uh, my latest my my newest one will
probably be coming out in about a month. Mike the
Werewolf check that out, do I need he vamping? No,
bub still not back.
Speaker 2: He'll join us when he joins us. So all right,
thank you for the vamping end books. Moving on, Drew Hayes,
how are you, sir?
Speaker 1: Well, he rides across the Kingdom? Have Horsen will name
meat job new adventure yet somehow the same? Anyway, that's
as limit before we get coffee, right struck. I'mrew Hayes.
I am the author of books such as Superpowers, NPCs,
Fred the Vampire Accountant, and The Villain's Code, the latest
of which is out while you are listening to this.
So Chilling Reflections number three is available in audiobook narrated
by Amy Landon and three point five Villains. Beignette's Volume
two No I will not apologize for this fucking naming
scheme is available in print and ebook. And I don't
have a date on the audiobook right now, but hey,
maybe by the time you listen to this I do.
Speaker 2: Maybe the time that Bob is back, we'll get those
book dates. Thank you, sir. Mims Kaplan, Emily, how are you?
Speaker 1: Hey? Hi?
Speaker 4: I'm Emily. I write under the name E m Kaplan.
I write Josie Tucker mysteries and arsenic and alibis an.
I'm playing Claudia the Rogue, Claudia the Rugue. What's in
or nobody knows? That's all I have.
Speaker 5: Just based on that.
Speaker 2: Song alone, Like if there's ever another A and d econ,
I want to photo all of us there, but like
doing the feel like a woman, like you're the you're
the front man and the rest of us bald white
guys in the background, your backup bands. Uh Drewli sitting
in drum position because he throws off the curve.
Speaker 5: I'm kind of upset that nobody buzzed to tell me
that today was Andy the musical.
Speaker 1: Every day is the musical.
Speaker 4: I need help because I wasn't a theater kid. I
was a band kid. So we're good at sarcasm and
equally so and getting in trouble on buses and yeah,
I think.
Speaker 1: We've told this before, but I'll briefly regret it. I
was so not a choir kid that the one time
I had to sub in on a musical because it
was a small school and we had limited people, they
just cut the fucking songs just fully. Will from Oklahoma
did not sing in our version of Oklahoma.
Speaker 4: Oh god, that's hilarious.
Speaker 2: Oh goodness, Steve Weather or are you a song a
dance man? Are you something else?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 3: I'm something else.
Speaker 1: Give me.
Speaker 3: I'm Steve Webbell and I play Stand and Deliver. You'll
set your heart quiver. He really is a rope matching chap.
Speaker 6: That was amazing.
Speaker 2: I stand in awe and hatred of all of you.
Speaker 1: So I don't know if my clapping came through the microphone.
Speaker 3: Oh oh, your hands, Okay, thank god, I'm gone.
Speaker 2: The slapping pat oh.
Speaker 3: I also write books, none of which have any songs,
and that's a lie. Actually, yeah, Far into the Dark.
There's about five songs in that, so fuck you, all right.
Speaker 1: I have I'll go ahead and tip this hat. I
in the plot that I have sketched out for Villain's
Code number four, which is way down the line, I'm
gonna have to write at least two original songs, one
of which is already written. Nice, very short, but we're
acquired for the plot.
Speaker 3: Stay tuned for Olfs and Dragons the album twenty seven.
Speaker 1: Between that and horse Play, the Two Man Play, I'm
just fucking going all over the place.
Speaker 2: Just let you know you've got a message from Bob
saying his computer keeps shutting down. He's gonna try to
switch to his wife's computer. Go on without him, He'll
see he.
Speaker 5: Can catch up.
Speaker 3: So well, that wasn't a very good song.
Speaker 2: It was not well. I don't sing. There are no
Gibsons that can sing. Debbie Gibson was a fluke. So
it is a feel very I feel hurtful about that.
But let's move on from that, shall we don't.
Speaker 3: It's a guitar named after you, right.
Speaker 2: I'm well aware those are not singers either, And I
can't play guitar.
Speaker 3: I tried many times, and I embarrassing.
Speaker 2: It very much. So is it's worst part is like
I was always always good at art. So but like
when the musicians that parties can show off, I try
to bring a girl back to my room to show
of my art, I'm a pervert.
Speaker 1: So well, I mean you're the one who showed them,
specifically the paintings of penises. Giv me. I mean that
that might have been.
Speaker 2: Just gauging, you know, like I said, just where give
me the bandwidth? What do you what are you expecting?
Speaker 1: You know? I will give you a man starry night
done with purely cos that is impressive. It is fucking impressive.
Speaker 2: No, it was the scream and it was just agly.
It was just a wiggly dick, you know.
Speaker 3: In now, so you have to have some way to
sead dick.
Speaker 5: I called this masterpiece scrutum night.
Speaker 3: Gibby in his attic, just putting twenty hours of work
into the fanciest dick pick you ever seen, and still
getting arrested.
Speaker 2: I want to mind everybody. If you're not part of
the A and D family, you're missing out. Go to
patreon dot com. All there's in dragons. Check out various
tiers two hours a month on our discord, hangout with
the fans. There are tired tiers. You can be like
five bucks a month, get you actions and discord channels
and other tiers are going to be live with us
right now as our people who listening to this game,
they're getting all this great content because they really support us.
Or you can hold her to authors and Dragons dot dash,
read dot com. Find some cool merchandise, find some cool shirts,
find some to include what's the latest one?
Speaker 1: Hamburger Hindrance, Hamburger Hindrance.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I believe, so we know you've been chumping at
the bit for a Hamburger Hindrance T shirt.
Speaker 1: Finally the emails can stop.
Speaker 3: We haven't to do IFI give it's stupid, so go
to Haberdickery dot com.
Speaker 2: Office and Dragons dot Dashery dot. All right, moving on,
greetings all this is conne stuns conscience.
Speaker 1: How are you?
Speaker 2: When we last left, the dicey bastards Stan Claudia use
their knowledge of pressure and lubricant to overwhelm an orgy,
popping the nude pile like a sexy pimple. Joysour was
now free, but his innocence was lost. Still sniffing out
some suspects, the group realized that Matt Demon from the
totally innocent party was somehow related to the.
Speaker 3: Death of poor Deafening.
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, Cobert Moog, through caution and their bodies, the win
as they completed the Hodgepodge Dodge ops.
Speaker 5: Of a course.
Speaker 2: One of the two completed the course with style, digity skill,
butlerads of prize tokens.
Speaker 5: The other was Mook.
Speaker 2: Reuniting back on the activities deck, the Dicey Bassar's made
their way to the theater to seek answers from those
mouthy theater people. However, they arrived just in time for
the matinee of Warforges Constable. From their private viewing balcony,
they spy the totally inisson party and Matt Demon and
that's what we pick up.
Speaker 3: Connie, keep it down, you're ruining the ambiance.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say this as someone who spent pretty much
his entire career in the theater and on the stage.
You don't have to say MOUTHI theater people. It's redundant.
Speaker 3: Okay, So we're in a This is like that Always
Sonny in Philadelphia episode where they go to the same
restaurant without telling each other. Is how I'm choosing to
interpret this this scenario.
Speaker 4: Is it the kind of thing where we have multiple
dates and we have to run to the restroom, They
come back and go to the other table.
Speaker 3: I'm just dressed as an old Scottish lady for no reason.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you guys made it in a way into
your into the theater and you were shown to the
to the you are one of two teams get special
uh special viewing balconies. You and of course the totally
innocent party to the north, to your to your west.
There the main stage is where this where the players
are gathering for their performance. The lights are ready to
go down, and there's a there's music. There's an orchestral
swell of music and this kind.
Speaker 5: Of like.
Speaker 2: Music coming out and setting the beyondo the atmosphere.
Speaker 5: Uh.
Speaker 2: To the north, you do see Jack Human Uh uh,
just in time, Matt Demon and Grassy Knoll of totally
innocent party sitting there.
Speaker 5: Uh.
Speaker 2: Who's just going to be watching Jack Human being a
song and dance barred man is just enthralled.
Speaker 1: So now you realize that it's not the same presidential reference.
But is anybody else a little uncomfortable with grass and
old being in a theater?
Speaker 3: That's just coincidence.
Speaker 5: I was just going to go down the other route
and be like, we need to get these motherfuckers of
John Willis Booth treatment.
Speaker 1: Like, all I'm gonna say is if these motherfuckers hold
up in a book depository. Bear's going the.
Speaker 3: Other way, just loudly talking about how we're going to
assassinate the people in the theater. Okay, Uh, you know
what I'm going to say to the team, everybody be cool.
I realized that's Matt Demon over there, and he's kind
of a primo suspect, but I think they is a
more elegant way of confronting him than shooting him in
the back.
Speaker 5: Of the head. So by be cool, you mean fire
rear frost moog.
Speaker 3: That is the opposite of what I mean. I know
what I don't mean a ray of five.
Speaker 1: Cobert will pull out his running goggles that just so
happened to look like sunglasses and shoot the finger guns.
Speaker 2: As you do. Guys are discussion us. The lights start
to go down because the performer steps up to the
front of the stage. Welcome you to the Kingdom of
ture Ted, a land of chaos and lawlessness, a land
of the mercy of black knights and foul warlords, a
land in.
Speaker 5: The need of a hero.
Speaker 2: And the the stage dims and the cuts away, and
then they come back out to the players and like Hi.
In the Tower of King o CP, where the high Mage,
the Necromancer Cockles Johnson has created a mindless army of
centaurs known as the Ted two O nine. They are
designed to bring law back to the land. Unfortunately, one
of these centaurs has killed a young, young and noble
It's all God. They threw from the tower. It's horrible,
but fortunately Cockle Johnson's apprentice, Barberto Mortician positive the idea
of transferring a soul, a night's soul into a warf
wargs body move.
Speaker 5: Would not buy this for a dollar.
Speaker 3: There is a lot of plot explanation here, and they're
telling rather than showing.
Speaker 4: I think, Stan, is this the play within the play
because I usually skip this part in the book.
Speaker 1: No, this is a plan play within a play within
a So which of them killed Hamlet?
Speaker 2: You've all seen the plot of RoboCop. You know what's
going on, and I'm like, this, what's acting out in
front of you using fantasy setting? So just whatever, you
guys gonna do this? What's going on around we do?
Speaker 1: What about this group makes you think their culture?
Speaker 3: I think we can use this uh and to pull
our Hamlets on these sons of bitches. I think we
infiltrate the play and use it to single out Matt
Demon as a sexual pervet killer.
Speaker 5: Excellent idea. Are there any Elves on stage?
Speaker 2: One second? Actually I do not. Actually, for once, I
don't have an Elf on stage. I've got at a backseat,
someone on a Warford suit, a human swashbuckler, a human commoner,
and a dwarf woman.
Speaker 1: I'm just just curious outside of stand do any of
us have a charisma above twelve?
Speaker 2: Probably Jorceerer and move both are like our backup of.
Speaker 1: I thought they were wizards.
Speaker 5: Mook as a thirteen?
Speaker 1: Oh wow?
Speaker 2: Dang well, Well, speaking of now that you're in the theater,
would you all be so kind as to raise your intelligence.
Speaker 5: Up by one point?
Speaker 2: So if you like, you know, you're a fourteen?
Speaker 3: Little fifteen Watching RoboCop always makes me feel smile. I
don't know anyone else you.
Speaker 2: Are now cultured, but you like your Your strength goes
down by one, your intelligence goes up by one.
Speaker 3: Oh that's good, because I'm not planning on direct confrontation.
I think we should hamlet these motherfuckers.
Speaker 1: That neutralizes my gait, my loss from the jumping around place.
I can't remember the name of it, the dodge, that's it.
Speaker 3: Okay, I will say, okay, there are no Elves on
the stage, Moog, but we don't know who's in that
robot costume.
Speaker 5: Excellent point.
Speaker 2: Oh no, Sir, Alejandro O'Brien, the Great Knight was cut
down by the Warlord Clarencio, Dick Bodker and his gang,
Lime Noel Yuje and Esteban Dun Dun dung.
Speaker 3: You know the effects on really that great now? I
remember the meaning a lot better when I watched this
as a younger man, and the thing they've stood up
to the test of time charming.
Speaker 6: But a little jan k.
Speaker 5: Mough will fire and eldritch blast at the war forged
on stanse suggestion, Okay, so, uh, you go.
Speaker 2: To fire and the balcony railing glows and reflects it
back at. So me see one two three four of you.
So let's see who it reflects back at h George
ra Claudia stan and combat one two three four to Stan. Uh,
so did all you fired an eldritch blast?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: So it was just a six had missed? But what
ping bingbing like the blast of ricochets around your your
balcony area, doing no no damage.
Speaker 3: I did not realize this was an immerssive experience.
Speaker 4: Holy shit, the effects are against points.
Speaker 5: Okay, so magic not work. Maybe we should try I
rose next.
Speaker 3: I was rather thinking we infiltrate the stage from the
Rhea bankstage. We can sneak in. I have summoned you
with a tasteful end.
Speaker 2: I want to remind because just Georcier is the one
who knew this stuff, but I don't want to give
it up farlier. You are aware that while matt Demon
has a scent similar to the inferno that you are chasing,
it is not the same.
Speaker 3: Oh well, that's all well and good, Jostrah. But he's
the only lead we have, and I think we can
draw him out for the power of theater. If we
infiltrate this robot play, we can. We can put the
light of accusation upon man Demon and see how he reacts.
Speaker 2: Up on the stage, are doing this weird passage of
time using lights where a lot of people are coming
in and out of the torture chamber to like in
front of transfer the soul wh to the warf War's body.
It looks like the time has past, Christmas parties are happening,
people are making out on top of the war forge.
It's very weird, all.
Speaker 4: Right, Oh hell yeah, this is our chance to get
down there.
Speaker 3: Well, everyone's distracted by this cool montage sequence we should make.
Speaker 6: Georgia would like to check his bag of clothes to
see if there's anything furry in there that he can
make a can't suit out of.
Speaker 2: Interesting? Okay, will be an investigation check.
Speaker 1: Oh no, oh my god, I think I know where
he's going with.
Speaker 2: Four A four Uh no, I mean you're going through
your clothes. But it's like you should probably still think
about the sex. Pile on your eye hurts from whatever
was like pushed into you, so you know, like you,
so you're a little distracted right now. You might have
pink eye. So in your way of your your investigation, so.
Speaker 3: We can disguise ourselves. Now do we have this guy self?
I have a disguised kid.
Speaker 6: Can we just establish magic doesn't work?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 2: Well, the balcony railing lit up and moved Judge shoot
to an eldridge blast and pinged around.
Speaker 4: So Claudia thanks, Georcier is searching for snacks. Can she
help dig in his bag? By all means investigation? Yep,
investigation seventeen.
Speaker 2: You pretty much know the contents of his back.
Speaker 1: Okay, to answer your question, Steve, I just finished checking.
I definitely do not have any disguising magic options. Apparently
there's a centaur loud and crowd.
Speaker 2: Well, you can turn into an animal, yeah, but.
Speaker 1: That's more of like a utility thing. It's like, I
don't hate my legs because I get into a car.
I do.
Speaker 4: I'm too sure to reach the pedals.
Speaker 2: That's both sad and hilarious.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so she in searching for snacks. Can she dump
out anything that looks like a cat costume?
Speaker 6: Uh?
Speaker 2: Sure? If you know that's what he was looking for,
then you like say, hey, is this what you're looking for?
Is this what you're looking for? So two of you?
Speaker 4: I mean I probably put it there.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, a dead cat and a cat
costume are not that far apart with Claudia and the party, right,
all right?
Speaker 4: Yeah, she'll pull out whatever furry thing. Is this what
you're looking for?
Speaker 6: Jeez? Maybe I don't know.
Speaker 2: Maybe yeah, put up some stuff like that. It would probably,
you know, depending on what is you're trying to do.
Then she found the raw materials for you?
Speaker 6: Excellent, I will put them all over my body. The
most important thing is pointy years up top.
Speaker 4: Okay, sure, of course, We've never been more attractive in
your whole life.
Speaker 2: George is elf.
Speaker 1: No, So, Steve bringing up the effects tickled a part
of my brain. Did y'all ever see our RoboCop which
was a bunch of comedy sketch groups just remaking robocops
seen by scene.
Speaker 2: Oh I've heard about that, Yeah, I have not.
Speaker 1: Wonder it's funny. And then there is the scene I
discuss read it through. Is there's one where the famous
one where some goons are attempting to assault a woman
and RoboCop shoots them. I believe in the penis in
that movie. Yes, And so this one's just like three
minutes of more goons continually rushing at RoboCop and just
shooting each an individual one in the penis.
Speaker 3: That is great, that's wonderful. Actually, Gabby, you have inspired
me because somebody really should write a RoboCop musical. It's
absolutely fucking perfect territory, and I'm surprised it hasn't been done.
Speaker 2: On the stage. Right now, speaking of you know, the Warfores,
Constable himself O'Brien, Alejandro O'Brien is now walking the streets
of this crazy, this crazy land of t r Tad
shooting people with crossbows in the penis.
Speaker 3: As we I will say to say perfect. I remember
this scene from the last time. It's a classic scene.
He's going to spend it at least eight minutes shooting
people in the day. I think we have just enough
time to sneak on backstage and infiltrate that the play.
Speaker 2: As you say, as okay, Stan, give me a perception check. Actually, everybody,
everybody who's not making gat costumes, everybody else's just kind
of like watching the play, looking around.
Speaker 3: Everybody who's not making okay, everybody deliberately ignoring what he's doing.
Speaker 2: I know, I am a four seventeen. It's investigation, so
we've got.
Speaker 1: A four, A ten Miscbera gets a ten.
Speaker 2: Oh, staying with a twenty twenty, you clearly see the
totally innocent party. Jack human is enthralled, But the rest
of them look like they're up to something too. They're
kind of concocting something and look like they're on the
way to sneak out the other side, off the side
of their balcony.
Speaker 3: I tell you what the fuck is are trying to
play within a play within my play within a play.
I'm going to be pissed.
Speaker 1: This dueling theater monologues on opposite sides of the stage.
Speaker 2: You look over, you see like just in Time is
raising a short and he's aiming it at Claudia.
Speaker 4: What the hell is that guy's part?
Speaker 6: Lincoln?
Speaker 2: You did you did wear her his father's skin for
a while, and see twenty is a twenty hit you, Claudia,
Yeah all right, so uh short bow, uh plus four
so you take oh shit, not three ds my mistake.
Speaker 6: A D plus three is what I can do.
Speaker 2: So three plus takes six six six damage. As an
arrow is now sticking out of your shoulder now twang,
so it stops magic. But uh, apparently the balconies didn't
stop an arrow. So yeah, he sees you, and he's
like he sees he just gives you the middle finger.
Speaker 3: Stand with whisper. You can shoot claudeir as much as
he wants. You're still not getting away with is heue pricks?
Speaker 6: Somebody should get an usher's attention to one of your.
Speaker 2: Grassy knoll They're they're druid. Uh it's kind of like
you see them like here, they're mouthing some words at you,
and uh, give me know, the perception checks if you
can see what they're trying to figure out what they're saying.
They're damn yeah, moog easily you see like we know
you kill too, like you see like grassy noles like,
we know you killed Bethany. You're not gonna get away
with it.
Speaker 1: I will mount back. Who the fuck is Bethany or
death Andy or beth What do I say?
Speaker 2: Not the real Bethany?
Speaker 1: Sorry, if you're watching, my character was not in the room,
So whoever it was, he's saying that.
Speaker 2: Name macnnor Deathany for the sake of this yeah thing.
Speaker 1: So yeah, all right, so what the fuck is Deathanye?
Speaker 5: You ass wipe moo have suggestion they just fire upon
one of our friends. Why not we just go over
there and killed the fuck out of them because I
have a cool plan.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think we might be passed the play within
a play once they shot at one. I think subtlety
has has been a skewed for this particular rat.
Speaker 3: As you're saying that you're watching.
Speaker 2: The rest of them are like you see, like Page Turner,
their cleric takeaway Matt dee, excuse me, Justin times bow
and put in their back a whole like Justin, Timas says,
sitting down and pouting. You're like, they're definitely scolding him
for acting out of turn.
Speaker 1: Hang on, I want to I want to try in
motion and get Justin's attention.
Speaker 2: Okay, give me, give me a give me a performance check.
Speaker 1: Oh boy, thirteen, that's not bad.
Speaker 2: Yeah, He's like, gives you that chin up.
Speaker 1: Like what what do you want? I'm going to motion
to my face okay, and then around where human genitals
would be, and then I'm going to point and I'm
going to snap my teeth, which is completely bizarre. If
you don't know, kamera can turn into a check and
everybody else should know.
Speaker 2: Oh shit, he's like, give him to blow you like
he doesn't. He looks perplexed. He doesn't understand it.
Speaker 1: So it's okay, he'll leader jack human.
Speaker 2: He's just watching the play. He's just into it like
he's he's chin on the rails happy, you know, not
even paying attention to bar to him uses to notice.
Speaker 1: Um, I will cast cure wounds on Claudia. Thank you.
Speaker 6: For whatever reason, I only have seven hit points.
Speaker 1: Six hit points to Claudia, thank you.
Speaker 2: I don't know why only have seven hit points?
Speaker 3: Did you get he under a lot of naked people?
Speaker 1: Might I recommend taking a short rest while we're watching
this play.
Speaker 6: I can't take a short rest. I have stuff to do.
Speaker 2: You can take a short The places are feeling for
a while.
Speaker 3: Josh, right, yes, you seem to be on board of
my pass. You're disguising yourself as a roadside accident.
Speaker 6: I believe.
Speaker 3: I think that's perfect for this play. Now, while these
goons are threatening to each eat each other's genitals, what
say you and I tried sneak onto the stage and
see if we can jacouz this motherfucker jews away koos
we go. All right, I'm gonna I'm going to put
my plate. I don't care if this if this all
gets a bit west side story with these guys, I
am going to sneak onto the stage.
Speaker 5: Okay, go for it.
Speaker 2: I'm going to go down there to the balcony or
hop off the edge of the edge of the railing
and sneak down.
Speaker 3: Uh whatever is cooler.
Speaker 2: Well, okay, I'll put it this way down here at
the bottom of the map. So you're down here at
the bottom of the map. All right, So right here
is the stairs when you came up, and that there's
the halfling attendant usher. But on this side you can
sneak down over the railing. It's about a fifteen twenty
foot dropped down. You can sneak in behind the aisles
and sneak around the side of the stage.
Speaker 3: Sure, I will drop a rope down, okay, yeah, quietly
and stealthily.
Speaker 2: Are you tying it off to some of your just
handing it to move the hold?
Speaker 6: Uh hand?
Speaker 3: You want to trust me? He's got one hand. I
get tied to Kebert two hands now, yeah, of course.
Speaker 2: He's got two right hands. There's two left hands.
Speaker 5: Whatever it is.
Speaker 3: I don't trust Mooke for entirely reasons to have nothing
to do with abilism.
Speaker 1: That's really fair for anybody in this party.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I will just tie the rope off on the
balcony and the shimmy down like a silver ferret.
Speaker 2: As you do that, you look over a unice that
like Page Turner and Grassy nol Or doing something very similar.
Speaker 6: I will shoot me down like a furry pussy, all.
Speaker 2: Right, I would like, all right, So who's holding the rope?
Is it Cobert?
Speaker 6: Or did you tie it off?
Speaker 3: We tied off?
Speaker 2: Okay, give me athletics roles for both of you, because you.
Speaker 3: As far as Kebert is still freighting to eat this
man's dick as a monkey.
Speaker 1: No, I did it, and now I'm watching the play. Okay,
you got a linger on that sort of thing.
Speaker 2: You're still in the mon's eyes right now, Dick shooting,
you know, right now he's coming up on somebody like
the atomic ton Costable's like shooting between the lady's legs
at the guy behind us.
Speaker 6: Georgier rolls at twelve.
Speaker 2: You slide down pretty easily. Jump stand give me an
athletics roll all right.
Speaker 3: Just before I do, I will whisper to Gibert like
we're going to do the cool plan I have. We
may need some audience interaction at some point. Keep an
eye out for well, I guess you don't really need
to keep keep an eye out for Gecery. He's not
gonna be in a good disguise at all. He looks
like what he is, a man covered in dead cats.
So keep an eye out for that.
Speaker 1: I will absolutely be watching for.
Speaker 2: That tally ho.
Speaker 1: And he did it.
Speaker 3: He rolls a where fuck am I eighteen?
Speaker 5: Yep?
Speaker 3: Nice?
Speaker 2: You slide down so well. You hop over doorser and
got ahead of him despite him going down first.
Speaker 5: That was a little bit like a little.
Speaker 2: Aerow flinging swing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, still got it.
Speaker 2: Uh So I assume you're crouching down behind the pews there,
the pews with the theater seating.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're gonna, all right, sneak away to the front,
all right.
Speaker 2: So they're druid grassy Knoll and their cleric page turner
are doing something similar. They're down, but like they're not
as graceful.
Speaker 3: So well, good, that makes me feel better, Jacera. Be
stealthy or just be soywed that no one wants to
make eye contact with you.
Speaker 2: You are talking to a pervert and a cat costume.
Speaker 3: So yes, well I figure like sometimes you can be stealthy,
like just by brazening out and hiding in plain sight.
And if I was in a theater and I saw
a chubby wizard wearing a lot of dead cats, I
would pretend I didn't see him. So what I'm saying
is Grocer should probably get advantage on this.
Speaker 2: Well, if you're showing him how to how as long
as you guys are moving at half speed and you're
showing him how to do it properly, then I will
allow you. I'll allow you him to have advantage.
Speaker 3: Oh, thank you, Gibby.
Speaker 6: So I'm rolling a stealth check then.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, I just rolled twice, as it will take
the better of the time.
Speaker 6: First was a fourteen, second is natural twenty.
Speaker 2: Got a twenty as well, So you know, oddly enough, Stan,
you're good, You're you're rolled up, you're old to fourteen.
You got a total of twenty. But George got a
natural twenty. Like he's the student has become the mouse.
Speaker 3: I'm still as fuck. It must be the cats. I mean,
they're naturally stealthy animal.
Speaker 6: True, I have dressed as a cat.
Speaker 1: I mean, given that we live in a world where
all sorts of equipment bequeaths magical effects, it's not the
craziest assumption to make.
Speaker 3: Jilta is suddenly just moving very gracefully reminiscent of a
certain populous stage show to terrible, awful, terrifying movie.
Speaker 1: I assumed he's doing the movie.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he stayed it. He's got the visible butthole.
Speaker 6: I did that without a costume.
Speaker 2: I think that that thing was just a proof of
concept test technology for a ThunderCats movie.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: Oh well, we can but hope, because it certainly wasn't
a good idea for any other reason.
Speaker 2: One day live actually Hitara. One day. All right, Stan,
you're moving on, so you're crawling around this you and
Georgia are coming up around the side of the stage.
Meanwhile the other people kind of fucked up and like
the people are like shut up, Like the people are
turning out hissing and whispering at a grassy Nolan page
turner because they are not anywhere as close as stealthy
as you guys are.
Speaker 3: Nice winning rellie.
Speaker 2: You guys are all the way up this direction.
Speaker 5: What is it you want to do?
Speaker 3: I want to be off to go into the wings
see if there's any costumes around.
Speaker 2: I'll say so because it's not on the map. But
you guys go around those basically those statues and in
the wings that you can find some like there. You
can hear some rustling things, backstations and black curtains. You
peek back behind there and it's behind it's a standard
stage crew people, you know, setting for the next scene
that people are like working on like makeup, touch up.
But there's costumes, changes, all types of things back there.
Speaker 3: So he's sure cool, all right, I want something I
can wear that it won't look too out of place
if I walk on this into the Warforge Constable world.
Speaker 2: Unfortunately, this is where this is the scene where like
where like on uh. Costable's getting his ass beat up
again and he's and like and it's he needs to sidekick.
Uh uh uh Loui Louise to uh reprogram. So there
are there there's sort of up on the outside, the
outside this one burndown part of an old castle where
she's trying to help him like get his mojo back.
So you could you could play some like you know,
like local like urchin. So there's urchin clothing. You can
kind of sneak in there and be.
Speaker 3: Like that, so can urchin clothing. Yep, okay, Joecerah, here's
our motivation. I will be an urchin. You will be
whatever you are.
Speaker 6: Got it.
Speaker 3: We're going to try and hijack this scene wants to Yes,
you know what, I've got complete faith in you. I'm
just gonna let you.
Speaker 6: Do you think.
Speaker 3: Knock him dead? Chapping?
Speaker 6: Are we hopping on stage? Or what what happened on stage?
All right? All right?
Speaker 2: So you two are going up on stage after being
uh kind of put back together. Uh the automaton Castable
is heading back to the to the Tower of OCP
to take out like the Unfortunately there's the uh the
neck the undead uh uh mister ed two nine army
of a zombie a Centaur.
Speaker 3: I'm so glad we what mister ed two nine into that, KP.
Speaker 2: I went back into the old chat to find specifically
where in one you said it. So I didn't give
you your props then, so I'm trying to This is
my glad you came around to. Well, I like that
now that they're the guys using the necromantic, they're they're
they're zombie Uh there're two hundred and nine zombie uh centaurs.
So okay, all right, so you're trying to get your
way into so Automaton Castable's right here, at least the
guy in the costume, and he's trying to take out
some like something. You got a swashbuckler and a dwarf
priests together in a costume, and these two are trying
to be like at an undead centaur. He's trying to
get past some signs where you guys are like you
be office workers or urchins kind of sneaking into the building.
So how do you want to take over the scene?
Take over the scene?
Speaker 7: Uh?
Speaker 3: Stand and the level will move center stage and appeal
to robot man. Okay, robot man, half man, half robot. Uh,
you have a very human faith upon your robot cava pace.
Can you love robot man?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 2: He's turns like this is like she's a day player
who's doing like a play on a cruise liner. He's like, ah,
so give me, give me one performance to a persuasion.
So performance and persuasion roles.
Speaker 3: It's silent speaks, volumes of the emptiness inside performance.
Speaker 2: Twenty wait free all right, So the audience is okay,
the audience is into it. The audience is into it.
Moove has moved to tears persuasion. Oh my god, so
I do have a face. I'm so glad you're see here.
You know he's singing back to you. So he's broke
some seen. He's turned away from the the people in
the centaur costume. Now he's doing a romantic one on
one session that he's waiting for you to lift in
dirty dancing style.
Speaker 3: A soul resides within his metal chest, where only justice
and vengeance lived before Justice for Deaphani. And he will
point into the crowd at Matt Damon and my cat
agrazes with me.
Speaker 6: Oh that's all right. Chorcer dances to the very front
of the stage, says, my name is mister Moselmittens. I
like to frolic the little kittens.
Speaker 3: If you if you'll somehow breaking this around to a
matter accusation.
Speaker 1: Is the time. I know he's gonna have to roll something.
For that. I would like to attempt to assist by
a slow clap from the balcony to try and get
it rolling.
Speaker 2: Give me a slow clap, you do your slow crap,
and give me a either persuasion or performance role for
your slow clap, basically to make it as infectious as possible,
like nineteen ninety, nineteen eighty slow style. You just get
the big speech kind of thing.
Speaker 1: Oh they're the same one so seventeen.
Speaker 2: Oh man, I'll tell you what. That's pretty good. Let
me just let me just need to do a quick
role for the audience. This is this is just for
me to see how they're feeling that. So, yeah, they
did not beat your role. So the audience is now
they start standing up and clapping. I don't know why
they're clapping or this is this is very avant garde.
Speaker 6: Like who should I like roll a performance or something?
Speaker 3: They get killed it.
Speaker 2: Give you a performance roll with advantage because of this
low clappet's going, all right.
Speaker 6: I perform.
Speaker 3: I should have pointed out that my cat has a
brain parasite.
Speaker 1: I got a seven parasite.
Speaker 6: Oh all right, eighteen.
Speaker 3: I found him in the dumpster behind the sex shop.
Speaker 2: So the audience is clapping so wild that you know
it's starting to drown things out. But you look at
the balcony and that demon's looking pointing at Jorser. It's like,
you know, like you can't quite make out what he's making,
but it's it's it's like he's basically looking. He's very
he's accusing Jorcerer of something.
Speaker 6: You've got the audience, all right, I'm pointing straight at
Matt Demon and saying, uh, watch now as I steal
the thunder, why don't you behold my wonder and I
will remove whatever cat hides that are covering my genitals.
Speaker 5: You totally missed an opportunity, Ryan Demon with Seamen.
Speaker 6: Is not over time. It's not over till the fat
wi it sings. Man right, So my wonder is pointing
at Matt Demon. Is that accusation enough?
Speaker 2: Uh? Well, or you're aroused by him? As far as
the audience is going, to so again, give me either persuasion,
performance or whatever you trying to get the audience like
you're trying to persuade them on your side or you're
trying to perform persuasion.
Speaker 6: I get a plus seven for that. All right, Yeah,
let's go twenty three.
Speaker 2: All the audience turns and looks. They're like like they
don't know what's going on. They don't know what you're
talking about. But the audience and the players on the
stage are all like willing to believe that that poor
teefling up in that balcony did something wrong. They just
don't know what yet, So they're waiting for you to
kind of like, what did he do? Is this part
of the planet?
Speaker 6: This is this a show?
Speaker 2: What's going on? So bring it home? What is it
you're trying to accuse publicly accused Matt Demon of in
front of these players on the stage.
Speaker 3: Behold Warford, just constable defense of the true villain of
the piece, the murderer, Matt Demon, killer of Deaphanis and dreams.
Speaker 2: And dreams. That's my favorite part.
Speaker 4: Claudia would like to take the arrow out of her
shoulder and shoot it at Matt Demon.
Speaker 1: I will also scream, yeah, get.
Speaker 2: For tho FK.
Speaker 1: Guy.
Speaker 2: Uh you know what if you want to take a
shot at Matt Demon, by all means, I'm not gonna stop.
Speaker 3: You cut up. If we tick the long way around
to this inevitable conclusion.
Speaker 1: Now, now we have the audience on our side. For
wrestling's taught me anything.
Speaker 4: Claudia's in the audience, she's been totally persuaded.
Speaker 1: That's right. We're under the spell of the performers.
Speaker 3: Faither is a kind of magic that's true that will
stand up in.
Speaker 2: Court twenty twenty. So you hit Matt Demon piercing damage.
I don't think saw it coming, so went to the
take the toe. It hits him. He falls over the balcony.
He's not dead, but he's falls over bleeding. He hits
the thing like that. He pulls the arrow like out
of like, what are you gaming for?
Speaker 4: By the way he had me in the shoulder, I'm
just aiming for like upper torso area.
Speaker 2: Okay, So he's got an arrow in his chest. It
hurts like hell, it's and it's you know, it's upper
right shoulder.
Speaker 1: He falls over or justin shoe, justin justin.
Speaker 2: But you shot Matt Demon so it's falls over.
Speaker 1: It's like, well, he's the one who just got accused
of murder publicly, I.
Speaker 3: See how like a guilty man trying to flee as
fast as he can wat a break.
Speaker 2: He stands up, he pulls, stands up on the thing.
Matt Demons like bleeding wou did, stands up on the
on his back bench. He's like, we all shut the
fuck up. Jesus fucking Christ. He pulls the air. I
was like, I didn't killed Bethany or Deafanie. I'm in
hunting down the people that did it.
Speaker 3: It's like, oh, but Matt Demon, my cat, smell of
your seamen.
Speaker 5: All over the corps us.
Speaker 3: Jeah kuzy fuckers. Warlock on the boat, you asshole.
Speaker 1: Oh that's what all warlock comes smells the same.
Speaker 3: Check that one for me.
Speaker 2: Please the warlock who was in our party who hates Moog.
He was innocent. He was a kid who joined us,
and he disappeared on the boat as soon as we
got on board. We were trying to track him down.
We were looking all over the fucking place for him,
you fucking idiots.
Speaker 1: That still doesn't explain the.
Speaker 6: Cop I know.
Speaker 3: So I'm making ethic night.
Speaker 2: We're all singing here move not understand theater as he
says that, uh young Eric green Tree the like what
I say was like the twelve year old, like the
Moog's like thirteen year old. Nemesis appears with a very
large demon, his patron standing there for like what a
great show, oh you guys.
Speaker 1: Here the.
Speaker 2: Adults?
Speaker 6: Our such was?
Speaker 2: And the demon looks on what would like me to do?
Speaker 6: A child?
Speaker 2: It's like, whatever you like, my master, Chaos is your
friends just let's just have fun on this ship. Well
or they're stuck here with us.
Speaker 1: Did you prove Moog right about someone? Did you prove
Mug's irrational hatred right? You know?
Speaker 2: Broken?
Speaker 3: Watch through like end of this.
Speaker 1: I know this is gonna be like I'm more mad
about how insufferable moved in a fucking pig.
Speaker 2: Uh So the demon takes a step back and his
theater I like theater. Chaos is rains in the theater
and the demon snapped its fingers and all of a sudden,
all the players who are actually part of this thing
gets pulled up into this one direction and they start
to spin and spin and spin and spin until they
merge into one giant Creature, meet Voltron and the Theater
Gollum is born.
Speaker 6: Take a look, my wonder biggles, take a look good.
Speaker 2: And then uh so airic green tree, and then and
they can be and Demon. Looks like there are so
many places around the stage, around this entire ship. We
can cause all kinds of chaos. I think we shout,
shall we? And they like, yes, my master, let's go,
and the two of them disappear.
Speaker 3: Uh well, looks like somebody I was Matt Demon an apology.
Speaker 2: He's also bleeding on the sides, like you fucking householes.
Speaker 1: Not gonna say move told you so, but see see
you fucking see.
Speaker 3: Does anybody coming to anybody want to anybody want to
give Matt Demon an apology?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: No, sorry, Matt, Well, I guess that's an apology.
Speaker 2: Jacubin says, like.
Speaker 4: He kind of just showed us as bad.
Speaker 2: This bullshit, this is how the play goes.
Speaker 3: Fucking get up.
Speaker 2: Jacubin launches himself down off of the balcony. Uh just
in time also comes down like rolls his eyes. Uh
and the rest of you all are there, So I
think pending a fight with a Theater Gollum and anything
else that's happening on this ship, and there's the consequences
of like a young boy with a demon, the power
of a very powerful demon at his command, for a
warlock is running around. So I think that's where we're
gonna leave this episode of the Dicey Bastards before we
pick up next time.
Speaker 1: This is about it.
Speaker 2: This is a good spot, some good talking, good joeling.
Is anything you guys also want to say or do
while we're still in the theater scene to prepare.
Speaker 3: For no, I'm still enchanted by uh.
Speaker 5: I would imagine standon georshould probably want to take a bout.
Speaker 6: I think I'm still there.
Speaker 2: You wish you had taken that long rest.
Speaker 3: The opposite, he's still doing his little cat dad. So
this huge bove struts that.
Speaker 1: That's called fucking commitment. It's the sign of a great.
Speaker 2: You know what, George, for just for the sake of it,
give me a performance role in this cat dance. I'm
gonna say this, if how well you do on this,
maybe you will have mesmerize a theater. Gollum. That's just
enough so you will have entrance and so you'll get
if you turn this into a fight, you've got a
couple of free hits on them.
Speaker 6: Well I got a nine.
Speaker 2: Well it has seen better.
Speaker 3: I think we've lost the crowd.
Speaker 2: Well, the crowd is actually like now, they're like, they're
not sure if this is part of the play. They're
not sure what's going on. This is the Grand Whimsy
where a ship of dreams and adventures could be had,
so they're not sure exactly what's going on. So yeah,
this will be interesting when we tune back in next time.
So do you all have anything for the audience.
Speaker 3: For the fans at home, I think we've given them
quiet enough.
Speaker 1: Go support your local theater.
Speaker 4: Claudia will hold up a half melted Andy's mint and
say I found a snack.
Speaker 5: I just smug satisfaction, knowing he was right all along.
Speaker 2: I told you, But that kid, I told you all
elves all right, So I'm half of Robert Bevan, Rick
Walterry Drew Hayes of the Chaplain, and see whether I'm M. K.
Speaker 5: Gibson.
Speaker 2: We've been the Dicey Bassards and you've been great. We'll
catch you all next time.
Speaker 4: Bye bye.
Speaker 7: You've been listening to Dicey Bastard's courtesy if authors and
Dragons check us out our authors and dragons dot com
or look up our Patreon if you want to supporters,
get secret content, and hang out on our Discord music by.
Speaker 3: The Gorcore four.
Speaker 4: I found a snack