Speaker 1: Section twenty five of amusement only. This is a LibriVox recording.
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Speaker 1: by Pascal Ramsier by Deputy, A reminiscence of travel, Chapter
Speaker 1: one Despoiled. It would seem grenard, as if you couldn't
Speaker 1: even shoot, It would seem like it wouldn't it. As
Speaker 1: I sauntered back to the hotel, I was conscious of
Speaker 1: a slight feeling of exacerbation, as if I had been
Speaker 1: got at. Had no man likes to feel he is
Speaker 1: a laughing stock. I felt that I had been made
Speaker 1: a laughing stock just then, that, indeed the process of
Speaker 1: manufactured been going on ever since I showed my faith
Speaker 1: in Ahmednugger. The men I had met were nice enough
Speaker 1: in their way, indeed they were almost too nice. Also
Speaker 1: in their way, they appeared to have so little to
Speaker 1: do in the way of actual work, that they had
Speaker 1: made it the business of their lives to perfect themselves
Speaker 1: in what are usually regarded, say as accomplishments. I was
Speaker 1: and am a plain civilian. I've worked for and earned
Speaker 1: my little piles such as it is, And until I
Speaker 1: set out upon the pleasure tour in the East, it
Speaker 1: had never occurred to me that a man could be
Speaker 1: regarded as an uneducated idiot if he could not, say,
Speaker 1: run into double figures every time he took up his
Speaker 1: cue at billiards. A suspicion that a man might be
Speaker 1: so regarded had been dawning upon me ever since I
Speaker 1: arrived in India, But until I came to Ahmednugger, I
Speaker 1: never quite realized how shockingly my education had been neglected
Speaker 1: on exactly those points on which it ought to have
Speaker 1: been most carefully attended to. The men of Ahmednugger were
Speaker 1: the most sporting individuals I had ever yet encountered. Possibly
Speaker 1: I've not moved much among the congregations of sporting men,
Speaker 1: but I certainly have seen something of men of business.
Speaker 1: These men of Ahmednugger were not only the keenest sportsmen
Speaker 1: had yet encountered. They were the keenest men of business too.
Speaker 1: And talk of the rigor of a competitive examination, they
Speaker 1: formed themselves into an examining board, which very soon took
Speaker 1: the stiffening out of me. They insisted on putting me
Speaker 1: through my paces. But before I had been a week
Speaker 1: in the place. They examined me in every game of
Speaker 1: carge which has been invented, and found me wanting in
Speaker 1: them all. They examined me as a rider, as a driver,
Speaker 1: as a shootest, as a cuist. In fact, in a
Speaker 1: range of subjects which I will not even venture to enumerate.
Speaker 1: They refused me one solitary pass. They plucked me in
Speaker 1: them all. It did not add to my sense of
Speaker 1: satisfaction that I found my ignorance expensive. The joke of
Speaker 1: the thing was that before I came to India, i'd
Speaker 1: rather fancied myself as an amateur sportsman. I flattered myself
Speaker 1: that I had decent seed in a saddle, whether across
Speaker 1: country or on the flat. I thought that I made
Speaker 1: a tolerable fourth at whist that I had some notion
Speaker 1: at any rate of English billiards, and of a hazard
Speaker 1: off the red. I certainly was under the impression I
Speaker 1: could see tolerable accuracy along the barrel of a gun.
Speaker 1: But these vain delusions were scattered at once and forever
Speaker 1: by the men of Ahmednugger. My All around purblind insensate
Speaker 1: ignorance had been so convincingly displayed that, as I have said,
Speaker 1: I was a laughing stock of the place. My latest
Speaker 1: performance in the exhibition line had been in match with
Speaker 1: Young Teb, the youngest and the latest joint of the subalterns.
Speaker 1: Young Teb had lured me on to skittles. Mister Tebb,
Speaker 1: who would have been more correctly designated as Master Teb,
Speaker 1: was an awkward hobbledehoy, who, at any other place than
Speaker 1: Almedningger I should have looked down upon with the most
Speaker 1: supreme contempt. When he challenged me to see who could
Speaker 1: smash most class balls with the rifle bullet he or I.
Speaker 1: I rashly took his challenge up. I flattered myself that
Speaker 1: at last I had a soft thing on. I had
Speaker 1: myself been found as soft things so many times that
Speaker 1: I looked forward to a little change. I had no notion,
Speaker 1: it was rather late at night when the challenge was
Speaker 1: thrown down and taken up how difficult it really was
Speaker 1: to hit a glass ball with a rifle bullet. I
Speaker 1: had never fired at a glass ball, nor had I
Speaker 1: ever seen any one else do so. But I conceived
Speaker 1: that at any rate Young Teb would find at least
Speaker 1: as much difficult in the thing as I should. We
Speaker 1: were each to fire at fifty glass balls, which were
Speaker 1: to be sent up into the air out of a trap.
Speaker 1: We were, of course, to fire at them while they
Speaker 1: were in the air. Out of the fifty, I smashed
Speaker 1: one out of his fifty, young Teb smashed forty nine.
Speaker 1: It was the most mirth provoking ambition that was ever seen.
Speaker 1: Of course, the young scoundrel had been doing nothing else
Speaker 1: but fire at glass balls his whole life long. It
Speaker 1: was when I handed over the two hundred trupies which
Speaker 1: I had staked and lost, that mister Tabb made his
Speaker 1: remark to the effect that I couldn't even shoot. When
Speaker 1: I returned to the hotel, a man was standing in
Speaker 1: the doorway. He addressed me as I came up the steps,
Speaker 1: it strikes me that you and I might shake hands, sir.
Speaker 1: I asked him what he meant. I've made myself one
Speaker 1: kind of ass, and you've made yourself another kind. We'd
Speaker 1: be a pay of beauties. I did not like being
Speaker 1: addressed in this manner, especially by a stranger, and especially
Speaker 1: by a stranger like this stranger. He was a short,
Speaker 1: undersized man with a vacous expression of countenance. His attire
Speaker 1: suggested seediness. Perceiving that I did not appreciate his manner,
Speaker 1: he explained no offense intended, sir, but I just now
Speaker 1: saw you playing pantaloon to that youngster's clown, and I
Speaker 1: thought that he made the end of the poker rather hot.
Speaker 1: As for me, I'm an ass all over. My name's John's.
Speaker 1: I came to this place to shear the sheep. There's
Speaker 1: been some shearing, but it's the sheep that's done it.
Speaker 1: They've about sheared me. I happen to have a trifle
Speaker 1: of money, so I came to these parts to see
Speaker 1: if I could do a bit of book making. I've
Speaker 1: done a bit. The gentlemen these parts have also done
Speaker 1: a bit. They've got hold of pretty well every blessed
Speaker 1: mag I had. I did not encourage mister Johns. Quite
Speaker 1: the contrary. I'd heard of him before the regimental races
Speaker 1: had had recently been held. A bookmaker had appeared upon
Speaker 1: the scene mister John's. Nearly every man in the place
Speaker 1: had bets with him, and so nearly every man in
Speaker 1: the place he had lost his money with a vengeance,
Speaker 1: had the Philistine been spoiled. End of chapter.
Speaker 2: One section twenty six of Amusement Only. This is a
Speaker 2: LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain.
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Speaker 2: Recording by Peter John Keeble Amusement Only by Richard marsh
Speaker 2: By Deputy A reminiscence of travel, chapter two. The game.
Speaker 2: Later in the day on which I had shot off
Speaker 2: that match with mister Tebb, I encountered mister Johns again.
Speaker 2: I was in the billiard room of what was called
Speaker 2: the Club. As regards membership, it was very free and
Speaker 2: easy club. Indeed, a local celebrity was taking the floor.
Speaker 2: The room was tolerably full. On one of the side
Speaker 2: seats was mister Johns. The local celebrity was a mister Colson.
Speaker 2: Mister Coulson was stud groomed to the Raja of Ahmed Nugger.
Speaker 2: He was also and at the same time one of
Speaker 2: the most obnoxious persons I have in the course of
Speaker 2: my career, had the pleasure of meeting. There never was
Speaker 2: such a loud voice braggot. It set one's nerves on
Speaker 2: edge to hear him, to listen to him. There was
Speaker 2: nothing he could not do The misfortune was that some
Speaker 2: of the things which he said he could do, he
Speaker 2: could do and do well. I had found that out
Speaker 2: to my costs soon after my arrival in Armored Nugger,
Speaker 2: and in consequence he had sat on me heavily ever since.
Speaker 2: He was a horrible man. That evening, mister Coulson was
Speaker 2: holding forth in his usual style on the subject of billiards.
Speaker 2: I should mention that at the period of which I
Speaker 2: am writing, mister John Roberts, the famous player, was on
Speaker 2: a tour in India. I saw John Roberts at Calcutta,
Speaker 2: observed mister Coulson, and he saw me. He also saw
Speaker 2: me play. When he saw me play, he said he
Speaker 2: doubted if he could give me fifteen in a hundred.
Speaker 2: I told him that I should like to see him
Speaker 2: do it, But he wouldn't take it on. Is that so,
Speaker 2: asked mister Johns. That is so, I should like to
Speaker 2: see him give me ten in a hundred, either John
Speaker 2: Roberts or any man now living. I should like to
Speaker 2: have a game with you, mister Colson. You would Mister
Speaker 2: Coulson looked at mister Johns. He looked him up and down.
Speaker 2: Mister Coulson was large and florid. Mister Johns was small
Speaker 2: and underfed. Mister Coulson was at least expensively attired. About
Speaker 2: mister John's costume, there was certainly no suspicion of expense.
Speaker 2: I don't mind having you a hundred up, my lad?
Speaker 2: How many shall I give you? I'm no player, mister Coulson,
Speaker 2: but I'd like to play you, even if only for
Speaker 2: the sake of saying, then I had the cheek to
Speaker 2: do it. You shall have that pleasure. And how much
Speaker 2: would you like to have on, if only for the
Speaker 2: sake of saying that you had the cheap to have
Speaker 2: it on? And mister Colson winked at the company in general. Well,
Speaker 2: mister Coulson, you and the other gentleman have won all
Speaker 2: my money, but I dare say I might manage ten rupees.
Speaker 2: Put him up, my lad, here's my ten. We'll play
Speaker 2: for the twenty. They played for the twenty, and to
Speaker 2: my satisfaction, and I believe to the satisfaction of most
Speaker 2: of the others who were in the room, it was
Speaker 2: mister Johns who won. I am bound to say that
Speaker 2: it seemed to me to be rather a fluky win.
Speaker 2: Mister Coulson, whose disgust was amusing, had no doubt whatever
Speaker 2: about the fluke. Never saw anything like it. Never. The
Speaker 2: balls never broke for me, not once. As for you,
Speaker 2: why you did nothing else but fluke? Do you think so?
Speaker 2: I'll play you again double or quits, and I'll give
Speaker 2: you ten in the hundred, mister Coulson. Mister Coulson seemed amazed.
Speaker 2: In fact, I have no doubt he was amazed. I
Speaker 2: like your modesty. You'll give me ten. Here's my twenty.
Speaker 2: I'll take you on. Mister Coulson took him on, and
Speaker 2: by way of fair exchange, mister Johns took him off.
Speaker 2: That is to say, he took off the stakes and
Speaker 2: the game. He did it rather neatly, just running in
Speaker 2: as mister Coulson looked like winning. Mister Colson was ajec
Speaker 2: tibal never saw anything like it never, and all my
Speaker 2: born days never saw anything like my something something something luck.
Speaker 2: And as for your fluking, why it just beats anything? Think so?
Speaker 2: I'll play you again, mister Coulson, and again double or quits,
Speaker 2: and this time I'll give you twenty in a hundred.
Speaker 2: You'll give me, you'll give me twenty and a hundred.
Speaker 2: You will come on, that'll be forty rupees. Aside, here's mine,
Speaker 2: muc B put me on twenty, and we'll see what
Speaker 2: I can do. We did see what he could do.
Speaker 2: We also saw that mister Johns seemed able to do
Speaker 2: a little better once more, he won the game. I
Speaker 2: am sure that we were all enjoying ourselves very much,
Speaker 2: much more than we had any reason to anticipate. As
Speaker 2: for mister Coulson, he went purple. He showered on mister
Speaker 2: John's a volley of that language which I had found
Speaker 2: pretty fashionable, and ahmored nugger. Mister Johns listened to him
Speaker 2: in silence while he pocketed the spoils. Then he had
Speaker 2: his say, you say I fluke, Why, my dear sir,
Speaker 2: you've no idea what a fluke is. You've no idea
Speaker 2: of any sort about billiards. You can no more play
Speaker 2: billiards than you can play the gentleman. You can't. You're
Speaker 2: the sort of person who is just as well once
Speaker 2: in a way to expose you're a humbug. Mister Coulson,
Speaker 2: You're a humbug. As for John Roberts, doubting if he
Speaker 2: could give you fifteen in a hundred, why he could
Speaker 2: give you ninety nine in a hundred and beat you
Speaker 2: single handed. I tell you what I will do, mister Coulson.
Speaker 2: I will play you five hundred up for five hundred
Speaker 2: rupees aside. I will give you four hundred start, and
Speaker 2: I will lay two to one against you with any
Speaker 2: gentleman who cares to vac you. I don't think that's
Speaker 2: an unfair offer, mister Coulson. It struck me as at
Speaker 2: any rate a rash offer. Mister Coulson was not such
Speaker 2: a tyroer as mister Johns made out. He had made
Speaker 2: mincemeat of me. I do know that. Yet the offer
Speaker 2: did not seem to be made in any spirit of bragadaccio.
Speaker 2: I fancy that the quiet, matter of fact manner in
Speaker 2: which it was made impressed mister Coulson more than he
Speaker 2: altogether cared to own. My impression is that if he
Speaker 2: had his own way, he would have changed the subject.
Speaker 2: But the odds offered him were such, and the challenge
Speaker 2: was made in such a public manner, that he probably
Speaker 2: felt that if he wished to preserve a rag of reputation,
Speaker 2: now or never was the time to show the stuff
Speaker 2: that he was made of anyhow, the offer was accepted
Speaker 2: and the terms of the match were definitely arranged before
Speaker 2: the parties left the room. End of chapter two of
Speaker 2: by Deputy. Recording by Peter John Keeble, Nottingham, United Kingdom,
Speaker 2: Section twenty seven of Amusement Only. This is a LibriVox recording.
Speaker 2: All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more
Speaker 2: information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Recording
Speaker 2: by Peter John Keeble, Amusement Only by Richard marsh By Deputy,
Speaker 2: A reminiscence of travel, Chapter three the Coalition. As I
Speaker 2: was retiring to rest, some one tapped at my bedroom door.
Speaker 2: In response to my invitation to enter. Mister Johns came
Speaker 2: in without any preamble. He plunged at once into the
Speaker 2: purport of his presence in my chamber. At that hour
Speaker 2: of the night, or rather morning, I have come, mister greeneal,
Speaker 2: to ask you to lend me five hundred rupees. I
Speaker 2: turned looked at him. He met my glance without showing
Speaker 2: any signs of discomposure. You have come to what he
Speaker 2: repeated his remark, quite as though it were a matter
Speaker 2: of course to ask if you will lend me five
Speaker 2: hundred rupees. I don't know if you are in earnest,
Speaker 2: mister Johns. If you are, I would remark, first then
Speaker 2: I am not a money lender, and second that you
Speaker 2: are a complete stranger to me. I want the money
Speaker 2: to stake in my match with mister Colson. Indeed, is
Speaker 2: that so, then that is an added reason why I
Speaker 2: should decline to lend it to you. In my opinion,
Speaker 2: mister Johns, your chances of success in that match are,
Speaker 2: to say the least of it remote. Look here, mister Greenell,
Speaker 2: I'm the last man in the world to wish to
Speaker 2: make myself offensive. But if we can understand each other,
Speaker 2: I think that you and I might do each other
Speaker 2: a good turn. I know all about how you've been
Speaker 2: treated by the fellows here. I know how they've all
Speaker 2: been taking pop shots at you. From what I hear,
Speaker 2: they've made you look like the biggest all round muff
Speaker 2: that ever left his mammy. I dare say it's cost
Speaker 2: you something too. I did not altogether appreciate this gentleman's
Speaker 2: free and easy style of conversation, but to a certain extent, I,
Speaker 2: so to speak, dissembled. I do not know what warrant
Speaker 2: you have, mister Johns, for your remarks, And in any case,
Speaker 2: I fail to see what business it is of yours.
Speaker 2: It's this way, if you like, you can be even
Speaker 2: with all the lot of them, and more than even,
Speaker 2: how by lending you five hundred rupees and letting you have,
Speaker 2: as you put it, a pop shot at me with
Speaker 2: the rest of them. Thank you, mister Johns. By the way,
Speaker 2: I fancy I've heard of some personal persons taking pop
Speaker 2: shots at you. I think I did hear that you
Speaker 2: came here to make a fortune. Did you make it,
Speaker 2: mister Johns? No, I didn't hang em like you. I
Speaker 2: owe them one and I mean to pay them with
Speaker 2: compound interest, and if you like to say the word,
Speaker 2: I'll pay them that little lot you owe them too.
Speaker 2: Look here, mister Greenell, I don't mind owning that. A
Speaker 2: keener lot of gentlemen than the gentlemen here I don't
Speaker 2: think I've ever had to do with I won't say
Speaker 2: they robbed me, but they certainly cut me up into
Speaker 2: very nice little pieces, and they handed me around. I've
Speaker 2: seldom seen anything of the kind which was better done.
Speaker 2: But never mind, my turn's coming. I'm not fond of bragging.
Speaker 2: Quite the other way. If it wasn't that I was
Speaker 2: in a hole, I wouldn't say a word. But it
Speaker 2: is the simple truth that all the things at which
Speaker 2: these fellows think they're damsters, I'm as far ahead of
Speaker 2: them as they're ahead of you. No offense intended. You
Speaker 2: could take my word for it that I know what
Speaker 2: I'm talking about. It doesn't follow because just once in
Speaker 2: a way they happen to muck up my book that
Speaker 2: I'm flat as for being able to give Colson four
Speaker 2: hundred out of five hundred billiards. If I choose, and
Speaker 2: I shall choose, he's simply bound to lose. I don't
Speaker 2: mean to say that I'm a John Roberts, because I'm not.
Speaker 2: But I do know how to play, and that in
Speaker 2: a sense which Coulson hasn't even begun to understand. I've
Speaker 2: heard that mister Coulson hasn't behaved overwell to you. I
Speaker 2: thought you'd like to see him taken down a peg
Speaker 2: or two. I should I should have liked to have
Speaker 2: seen more than one of them taken down a peggle two,
Speaker 2: though I said nothing of that to mister Johns. How
Speaker 2: came you to match yourself, mister Johns, when you were
Speaker 2: aware that you were not in possession of the required stakes.
Speaker 2: I took it for granted that I should get mistakes
Speaker 2: from you. Mister Johns, was frank at any rate from me?
Speaker 2: What claim do you suppose yourself have on me? No claim?
Speaker 2: But you see, sir, they've had me and they've had you.
Speaker 2: They've had both of us, in fact, pretty smartly. And
Speaker 2: I thought you might like to be even with some
Speaker 2: of them by deputy, by deputy, if it was workable.
Speaker 2: That was not a bad idea. I felt that I
Speaker 2: should like to be even with some of them. Beginnings
Speaker 2: say with mister Coulson, how that man had welched me
Speaker 2: beneath his elephantine foot, the brute, even as it were,
Speaker 2: by deputy. What guarantee have I that you will not
Speaker 2: lose my money as you have already lost your own.
Speaker 2: If we get up early, we shall have the billiard
Speaker 2: room all to ourselves. If you like, I will give
Speaker 2: you some idea of what I can do upon a
Speaker 2: billiard table. We did get up early, we did have
Speaker 2: the billiard room all to ourselves, and mister Johns did
Speaker 2: give me some idea of what he could do upon
Speaker 2: a billiard table for one thing. He got on the spot,
Speaker 2: and he stopped there. He continued to put the red
Speaker 2: down without once missing, until the marker appeared. When the
Speaker 2: marker did appear, we thought that perhaps the proceedings had
Speaker 2: better cease, if I can trust my memory. Before the
Speaker 2: preceding cease, mister Johns had put the red down something
Speaker 2: like two hundred times in succession. I thought that was
Speaker 2: good enough even for mister I agreed to advance a
Speaker 2: necessary number of rupees. The match came off. It was
Speaker 2: a beautiful match. The room was crowded to overflowing. Mister
Speaker 2: Johns had managed to back himself into a very fair amount.
Speaker 2: Even I, in my small way, had managed to back
Speaker 2: him too. But there was not so much readiness shown
Speaker 2: to support the local champion as I had expected. They
Speaker 2: were keen with a man of Arvid Nugger. I fancied
Speaker 2: her already. They had begun to smell a rat, and
Speaker 2: not only so. They were always willing to make a bet,
Speaker 2: but on that particular occasion they were almost equally willing
Speaker 2: to see mister Coulson come to grief. I think that
Speaker 2: in those parts mister Coulson was not so popular as
Speaker 2: he deserved to be. I verily believed that there were
Speaker 2: some who objected to him almost as much as I did.
Speaker 2: Poor mister Coulson, he was painfully nervous. His nervousness prevented
Speaker 2: is showing even his usual form. He had made fifteen
Speaker 2: when mister John's getting on the spot stayed there, he
Speaker 2: ran out without once putting down his cue. Nothing like
Speaker 2: it had ever been seen before an armed another. When
Speaker 2: the marker notified the fact that mister Johns had completed
Speaker 2: his fifth hundred, mister Coulson was for a moment speechless.
Speaker 2: He seemed unable to realize that the thing was so.
Speaker 2: It's a it's a something swindle. Beg your pardon, mister Coulson.
Speaker 2: It's a what. Mister Coulson's tone was loud and threatening.
Speaker 2: Mister John's tongue was quiet and almost indifferent. Yet mister
Speaker 2: Coulson did not seem to altogether like it. He began
Speaker 2: to bluster, You do not tell me that you were
Speaker 2: a professional. No, I did not tell you that I
Speaker 2: was a professional. You didn't play the other night as
Speaker 2: you played to day. It looks to me uncommonly like
Speaker 2: a put up thing. It looks to you like a
Speaker 2: put up thing, does it, mister Coulson. Well, I'll give
Speaker 2: you a chance of showing your professional slide. I believe
Speaker 2: you can drive. Drive. Mister Coulson looked at the little
Speaker 2: man as if he would like to eat him. I'm
Speaker 2: the finest whip in India. Indeed? Is that so? When
Speaker 2: I'll drive you either four or eight in hand for
Speaker 2: a thousand rupees aside? Although you are the finest whip
Speaker 2: in India, mister Coulson snapped at his offer before it
Speaker 2: was fairly out of his mouth, and I felt that
Speaker 2: mister Johns was going a little too far. It was
Speaker 2: one thing to match him at Billiard's, another thing to
Speaker 2: match him at driving. There, mister Coulson was on his
Speaker 2: native heath. When I was alone with mister Johns, I
Speaker 2: told him, so, I don't know if you're aware of,
Speaker 2: mister Johns, that mister Coulson really is a first rate whip.
Speaker 2: I'm informed that it was his magnificent driving which first
Speaker 2: attracted the Raja's attention. Mister Johns did not exhibit much
Speaker 2: appearance of concern. I guess I'll fix him anyhow. I
Speaker 2: haven't driven a stage over some of the worst country
Speaker 2: in the Western States of America for nothing. I'll back
Speaker 2: myself to drive a coash and four along a wall
Speaker 2: just wide enough to hold the wheels. I'll take you
Speaker 2: as a passenger if you like to come. Thank you,
Speaker 2: mister Johns. My tastes do not incline that way, don't
Speaker 2: you worry, mister Greeneal. I mean to take on the
Speaker 2: whole lot of em, one after the other, and show
Speaker 2: of em a thing or two all round. These gentlemen
Speaker 2: here fancy they know a little, but we'll be more
Speaker 2: than even with them before we've done. The driving match
Speaker 2: came off. I do not know how they manage similar
Speaker 2: affairs in England, I have sometimes wondered, But I am
Speaker 2: under the impression that they are not managed on the
Speaker 2: lines on which they manage that driving match in Armed Nugger.
Speaker 2: The way in which they managed it was this, mister
Speaker 2: Coulson was to drive upon the Monday, mister Johns upon
Speaker 2: the Wednesday. Each was to drive the same team, eight
Speaker 2: in hand. The horses, by the way, came out of
Speaker 2: the Rajah stables. The course was to be up and
Speaker 2: down the streets of Armed Nugger, and then for a
Speaker 2: certain distance outside the city. The judges occupied the front
Speaker 2: of the coach. I had a seat amongst the insignificant
Speaker 2: people at the back. On the whole I was content
Speaker 2: to sit behind. The proceedings in the streets of Armed
Speaker 2: Nugger were distinctly exciting, almost too exciting, I felt for me.
Speaker 2: Those streets were very narrow, and they were blocked with traffic.
Speaker 2: Beard understood. Mister Coulson and mister Johns, each with his
Speaker 2: eight horses and a coach load of passengers, went down
Speaker 2: those streets at full speed, as if they had been
Speaker 2: fifty yards wide, and as if there had not been
Speaker 2: a soul in sight. What damages were done? And what
Speaker 2: was the list of the killed and wounded? I have
Speaker 2: never been informed. I never quite realized what it meant
Speaker 2: to belong to a subject race till then it appeared
Speaker 2: to me that in the eyes of my companions, a
Speaker 2: native had, as a matter of course, no rights at all.
Speaker 2: We drove over whole streets full of them in style.
Speaker 2: My heart was in my mouth most of the time.
Speaker 2: We dashed around impossible corners, shaking native tenements to their foundations.
Speaker 2: But we kept ourselves alive somehow. The peaceful pedestrians were slain.
Speaker 2: I am no judge of coachmanship, of such coachmanship as
Speaker 2: that at any rate, those who were judges without a
Speaker 2: dissiant voice, awarded the palm to mister Johns and frequence.
Speaker 2: It was said mister Coulson entered himself as a candidate
Speaker 2: for delirium tremens. He was a dreadful man. It seemed
Speaker 2: as if mister Johns was prepared to match himself against
Speaker 2: the men of armid Nugger, and exactly those things at
Speaker 2: which each man fancied he was strongest. That is what
Speaker 2: he did do. He challenged any one of them to
Speaker 2: meet him at driving or at billiards. And when his challenge,
Speaker 2: for what seemed to me to be sufficient reasons met
Speaker 2: with no response, he challenged any one to ride him.
Speaker 2: The challenge was taken up, but he beat all takers.
Speaker 2: He had away with a horse which seemed little else
Speaker 2: than magical. A horse would jump six feet for him,
Speaker 2: when apparently he would not jump six inches for any
Speaker 2: other man in armed Nugger. I don't know how it was,
Speaker 2: but so it was. I know nothing of mister Johns
Speaker 2: beyond what I am writing. I never heard his story.
Speaker 2: Nor how it was that a man of genius, he
Speaker 2: was a man of genius, came to find himself a
Speaker 2: broken down, small bookmaker in that little town up country.
Speaker 2: Perhaps he was another exemplification of the fact that only
Speaker 2: mediocrity succeeds. I know that I was more than even
Speaker 2: with the men of Armed Nugger by deputy. The band
Speaker 2: played to them as it had played to me. He
Speaker 2: made them face the music, and there was not one
Speaker 2: of them who did not leave his scalp upon the ground.
Speaker 2: My belt was adorned with trophies by decuity. For mister
Speaker 2: Johns had beaten the men of Armed Nugger as they
Speaker 2: had beaten me at riding, and at driving and at billiards.
Speaker 2: He took them on at shooting, and so to speak,
Speaker 2: he shot their heads off. He showed them that in
Speaker 2: the presence of this man, they were as no and
Speaker 2: less than nothing. He even challenged mister Teb to smash
Speaker 2: glass balls. He fixed the point from which they were
Speaker 2: to fire at an abnormal distance, And if I remember rightly,
Speaker 2: he beat mister Teb by about a score. After he
Speaker 2: had annihilated that presumptuous young vagabond, mister Johns informed me
Speaker 2: that shooting at glass balls really was not shooting. I
Speaker 2: was quite prepared to admit it. He said that it
Speaker 2: was only a trick. When you had once mastered the trick,
Speaker 2: it was impossible to miss. Perhaps I have never fired
Speaker 2: at glass ball since then, so I have no reason
Speaker 2: to suppose that I have mastered the trick. When I
Speaker 2: do again fire at glass balls, I am inclined to
Speaker 2: think that I shall not experience the slightest difficulty in
Speaker 2: missing every one of them. End of Chapter three of
Speaker 2: by Deputy. Recording by Peter John Keeble, Nottingham, United Kingdom,
Speaker 2: Section twenty eight of Amusement Only. This is a LibriVox recording.
Speaker 2: All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more
Speaker 2: information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Recording
Speaker 2: by Peter John Keeble, Amusement Only by Richard marsh by Deputy,
Speaker 2: A reminiscence of travel. Chapter four evans when mister Johns
Speaker 2: had beaten the men of Armed Nugger at almost everything
Speaker 2: at which they could be beaten, he began to amuse
Speaker 2: himself by taking a hand in various little games at cards.
Speaker 2: It was remarked that to say the least of it.
Speaker 2: His luck was wonderful. There was scarcely a man in
Speaker 2: Armed Nugger who had not been compelled by mister Johns
Speaker 2: to take a lower seat. To take a lower seat too,
Speaker 2: just where he felt that his claim was strongest to
Speaker 2: take the highest one. Naturally, here and there a man
Speaker 2: resented it. An even stronger spirit of resentment was evinced
Speaker 2: when the men of Armied Nugger found that their money
Speaker 2: was going in search of their vanished reputations. There were
Speaker 2: some disagreeable little scenes. Then there was a royal row.
Speaker 2: It was at the club mister Johns had been carrying
Speaker 2: everything in front of him. Things were said, then other
Speaker 2: things were said. Then mister Johns laid down his cards.
Speaker 2: He faced the company. Gentlemen, I wish to inform you
Speaker 2: that you are, individually and collectively a set of curs.
Speaker 2: There were sounds which suggested neither the ways of pleasantness
Speaker 2: nor the paths of peace. Softly postponed the fighting for
Speaker 2: one minute. I would remind you that when mister Greenell
Speaker 2: appeared an armored nugger, you all with one accord, took
Speaker 2: shots at him. You used him as if he had
Speaker 2: been a variety of old Aunt Sally. When I made
Speaker 2: my appearance, you put your heads together and you bested me.
Speaker 2: You see, we were strangers, and you took us in.
Speaker 2: Neither mister Greenel nor I quite liked this sort of thing.
Speaker 2: So we put our heads together, and in our turn,
Speaker 2: we've bested you. We've used you as old Aunt Sally's.
Speaker 2: We've made you all sit up, we've made you all
Speaker 2: sing small even at games of mingled chance and skill.
Speaker 2: I've beaten you. Instead of taking your punishment like men,
Speaker 2: you begin to whimper. Therefore, gentlemen, I repeat that you
Speaker 2: are individually and collectively a set of curs. Colonel Smith interposed.
Speaker 2: So soon as mister Johns ceased speaking, I fancy that
Speaker 2: the colonel had he just entered the room. Mister Johns,
Speaker 2: you very much forget yourself. On the contrary, Colonel, I
Speaker 2: am remembering myself. It is a gentleman you have the
Speaker 2: honor to command who forget themselves. Should there be any
Speaker 2: one present who resents the words which I have used,
Speaker 2: I should be happy to meet that person, either with
Speaker 2: the gloves or without them, or with any weapon he
Speaker 2: may choose. For the honor of armed nugger there was silence,
Speaker 2: grim silence. Probably there was more than one there who
Speaker 2: would have liked to have ground mister Johns between the
Speaker 2: upper and the nether millstones, but after all they were
Speaker 2: gentlemen in their way. Bean stood up, the adjutant of
Speaker 2: the blank. He was a big fellow, head and shoulders
Speaker 2: taller than the audacious little challenger. He went round to
Speaker 2: where mister Johns was sitting. Mister Johns, you will either
Speaker 2: apologize for the words as you have just now used,
Speaker 2: or take a thrashing. I will take a thrashing, said
Speaker 2: mister Johns. He took it. What is more, he took
Speaker 2: it there and then the meeting was immediately adjourned, and
Speaker 2: in the moonlight the little argument came off. The proceedings
Speaker 2: were a trifle irregular, perhaps over here we should deem them,
Speaker 2: so I am not prepared to say that any dignitaries
Speaker 2: were actually present. Still, there was a goodly gathering the
Speaker 2: two men pealed. In a very short space of time,
Speaker 2: the little man had knocked the big man's senseless. This
Speaker 2: is not a fairy tale. It is a simple record
Speaker 2: of a sober matter of fact. It almost seems as
Speaker 2: if mister Johns was a lineal descendant of the Admiral Crichton.
Speaker 2: Looking back, I really fancy that he must have been
Speaker 2: when mister Bean's satisfaction had been signified. In what I
Speaker 2: believe is the usual manner, mister Johns addressed the lookers
Speaker 2: on is there any other jun present who would like
Speaker 2: to thrash me for the honor of Armed Nugger? Some
Speaker 2: one came out of the shadow, some one who in
Speaker 2: those parts was a very great man. Indeed, mister Johns,
Speaker 2: you will be so good as to leave Armed Nugger
Speaker 2: within four and twenty hours. Mister Johns looked the great
Speaker 2: man up and down. He seemed to be in no
Speaker 2: way awed, even though he stood there in the moonlight
Speaker 2: without his shirt. I am at a loss, sir, to
Speaker 2: understand by what authority you addressed yourself to me in
Speaker 2: such a manner. I am in no way answerable for
Speaker 2: my movements to you. I have not broken the law.
Speaker 2: I have not even broken the peace. As it happens,
Speaker 2: I do intend to leave Amed Nugger, and in less
Speaker 2: than four and twenty hours, not in deference to your orders,
Speaker 2: but simply because I have had enough of Amed Nugger.
Speaker 2: Having taught your compatriots here about what, it strikes me,
Speaker 2: was a much needed lesson the next time they encounter strangers,
Speaker 2: except in the scriptural sense, not to take them. In
Speaker 2: the next day, mister Johns did leave Armed Nugger, and
Speaker 2: I went too. He went his way, I went mine.
Speaker 2: I have neither seen nor heard of him since. But
Speaker 2: as I continued my journeyings, I felt that, after all
Speaker 2: I had been even and more than even, with the
Speaker 2: men of Armed Nugger by Deputy end of Chapter four
Speaker 2: of by Deputy recording by Peter John Keeble, Nottingham, United Kingdom,