WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.760 --> 00:00:07.919 Section twenty five of amusement only. This is a LibriVox recording. 2 00:00:08.320 --> 00:00:12.599 All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more 3 00:00:12.640 --> 00:00:20.160 information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Recording 4 00:00:20.280 --> 00:00:28.719 by Pascal Ramsier by Deputy, A reminiscence of travel, Chapter 5 00:00:28.920 --> 00:00:35.159 one Despoiled. It would seem grenard, as if you couldn't 6 00:00:35.240 --> 00:00:40.920 even shoot, It would seem like it wouldn't it. As 7 00:00:40.960 --> 00:00:43.759 I sauntered back to the hotel, I was conscious of 8 00:00:43.759 --> 00:00:47.759 a slight feeling of exacerbation, as if I had been 9 00:00:47.799 --> 00:00:51.920 got at. Had no man likes to feel he is 10 00:00:51.960 --> 00:00:55.799 a laughing stock. I felt that I had been made 11 00:00:55.799 --> 00:00:59.920 a laughing stock just then, that, indeed the process of 12 00:01:00.119 --> 00:01:03.079 manufactured been going on ever since I showed my faith 13 00:01:03.119 --> 00:01:07.000 in Ahmednugger. The men I had met were nice enough 14 00:01:07.719 --> 00:01:12.519 in their way, indeed they were almost too nice. Also 15 00:01:12.599 --> 00:01:16.120 in their way, they appeared to have so little to 16 00:01:16.159 --> 00:01:19.719 do in the way of actual work, that they had 17 00:01:19.760 --> 00:01:23.239 made it the business of their lives to perfect themselves 18 00:01:23.280 --> 00:01:28.359 in what are usually regarded, say as accomplishments. I was 19 00:01:28.640 --> 00:01:33.079 and am a plain civilian. I've worked for and earned 20 00:01:33.319 --> 00:01:37.120 my little piles such as it is, And until I 21 00:01:37.200 --> 00:01:40.319 set out upon the pleasure tour in the East, it 22 00:01:40.359 --> 00:01:42.560 had never occurred to me that a man could be 23 00:01:42.599 --> 00:01:46.719 regarded as an uneducated idiot if he could not, say, 24 00:01:47.120 --> 00:01:49.560 run into double figures every time he took up his 25 00:01:49.680 --> 00:01:53.799 cue at billiards. A suspicion that a man might be 26 00:01:54.000 --> 00:01:56.680 so regarded had been dawning upon me ever since I 27 00:01:56.760 --> 00:02:02.120 arrived in India, But until I came to Ahmednugger, I 28 00:02:02.280 --> 00:02:06.079 never quite realized how shockingly my education had been neglected 29 00:02:06.120 --> 00:02:08.439 on exactly those points on which it ought to have 30 00:02:08.479 --> 00:02:14.000 been most carefully attended to. The men of Ahmednugger were 31 00:02:14.039 --> 00:02:18.879 the most sporting individuals I had ever yet encountered. Possibly 32 00:02:19.039 --> 00:02:22.680 I've not moved much among the congregations of sporting men, 33 00:02:24.680 --> 00:02:29.319 but I certainly have seen something of men of business. 34 00:02:30.240 --> 00:02:34.199 These men of Ahmednugger were not only the keenest sportsmen 35 00:02:34.280 --> 00:02:38.319 had yet encountered. They were the keenest men of business too. 36 00:02:40.199 --> 00:02:45.159 And talk of the rigor of a competitive examination, they 37 00:02:45.280 --> 00:02:49.879 formed themselves into an examining board, which very soon took 38 00:02:49.960 --> 00:02:54.159 the stiffening out of me. They insisted on putting me 39 00:02:54.319 --> 00:02:56.639 through my paces. But before I had been a week 40 00:02:56.719 --> 00:03:00.360 in the place. They examined me in every game of 41 00:03:00.439 --> 00:03:04.879 carge which has been invented, and found me wanting in 42 00:03:04.960 --> 00:03:09.680 them all. They examined me as a rider, as a driver, 43 00:03:10.280 --> 00:03:13.840 as a shootest, as a cuist. In fact, in a 44 00:03:13.960 --> 00:03:17.840 range of subjects which I will not even venture to enumerate. 45 00:03:19.120 --> 00:03:23.199 They refused me one solitary pass. They plucked me in 46 00:03:23.280 --> 00:03:26.240 them all. It did not add to my sense of 47 00:03:26.319 --> 00:03:32.199 satisfaction that I found my ignorance expensive. The joke of 48 00:03:32.240 --> 00:03:35.319 the thing was that before I came to India, i'd 49 00:03:35.400 --> 00:03:40.319 rather fancied myself as an amateur sportsman. I flattered myself 50 00:03:40.319 --> 00:03:43.800 that I had decent seed in a saddle, whether across 51 00:03:43.879 --> 00:03:47.199 country or on the flat. I thought that I made 52 00:03:47.199 --> 00:03:51.319 a tolerable fourth at whist that I had some notion 53 00:03:51.439 --> 00:03:55.599 at any rate of English billiards, and of a hazard 54 00:03:55.680 --> 00:03:59.479 off the red. I certainly was under the impression I 55 00:03:59.479 --> 00:04:02.800 could see tolerable accuracy along the barrel of a gun. 56 00:04:04.520 --> 00:04:09.039 But these vain delusions were scattered at once and forever 57 00:04:09.599 --> 00:04:14.840 by the men of Ahmednugger. My All around purblind insensate 58 00:04:14.919 --> 00:04:19.839 ignorance had been so convincingly displayed that, as I have said, 59 00:04:19.959 --> 00:04:24.240 I was a laughing stock of the place. My latest 60 00:04:24.319 --> 00:04:27.279 performance in the exhibition line had been in match with 61 00:04:27.399 --> 00:04:32.319 Young Teb, the youngest and the latest joint of the subalterns. 62 00:04:33.439 --> 00:04:37.199 Young Teb had lured me on to skittles. Mister Tebb, 63 00:04:37.800 --> 00:04:40.920 who would have been more correctly designated as Master Teb, 64 00:04:41.879 --> 00:04:45.839 was an awkward hobbledehoy, who, at any other place than 65 00:04:45.920 --> 00:04:49.360 Almedningger I should have looked down upon with the most 66 00:04:49.399 --> 00:04:54.000 supreme contempt. When he challenged me to see who could 67 00:04:54.040 --> 00:04:58.079 smash most class balls with the rifle bullet he or I. 68 00:04:58.079 --> 00:05:01.920 I rashly took his challenge up. I flattered myself that 69 00:05:02.639 --> 00:05:06.879 at last I had a soft thing on. I had 70 00:05:06.959 --> 00:05:10.920 myself been found as soft things so many times that 71 00:05:11.000 --> 00:05:14.519 I looked forward to a little change. I had no notion, 72 00:05:15.360 --> 00:05:17.600 it was rather late at night when the challenge was 73 00:05:17.639 --> 00:05:21.199 thrown down and taken up how difficult it really was 74 00:05:21.279 --> 00:05:24.279 to hit a glass ball with a rifle bullet. I 75 00:05:24.319 --> 00:05:27.319 had never fired at a glass ball, nor had I 76 00:05:27.360 --> 00:05:32.000 ever seen any one else do so. But I conceived 77 00:05:32.120 --> 00:05:34.560 that at any rate Young Teb would find at least 78 00:05:34.560 --> 00:05:38.600 as much difficult in the thing as I should. We 79 00:05:38.600 --> 00:05:42.120 were each to fire at fifty glass balls, which were 80 00:05:42.160 --> 00:05:44.639 to be sent up into the air out of a trap. 81 00:05:45.240 --> 00:05:47.600 We were, of course, to fire at them while they 82 00:05:47.680 --> 00:05:51.600 were in the air. Out of the fifty, I smashed 83 00:05:51.639 --> 00:05:56.199 one out of his fifty, young Teb smashed forty nine. 84 00:05:57.959 --> 00:06:02.040 It was the most mirth provoking ambition that was ever seen. 85 00:06:03.040 --> 00:06:06.439 Of course, the young scoundrel had been doing nothing else 86 00:06:06.480 --> 00:06:10.720 but fire at glass balls his whole life long. It 87 00:06:10.800 --> 00:06:13.240 was when I handed over the two hundred trupies which 88 00:06:13.240 --> 00:06:16.360 I had staked and lost, that mister Tabb made his 89 00:06:16.439 --> 00:06:22.480 remark to the effect that I couldn't even shoot. When 90 00:06:22.480 --> 00:06:25.800 I returned to the hotel, a man was standing in 91 00:06:25.839 --> 00:06:29.240 the doorway. He addressed me as I came up the steps, 92 00:06:30.920 --> 00:06:33.600 it strikes me that you and I might shake hands, sir. 93 00:06:35.120 --> 00:06:39.720 I asked him what he meant. I've made myself one 94 00:06:39.800 --> 00:06:44.120 kind of ass, and you've made yourself another kind. We'd 95 00:06:44.120 --> 00:06:47.839 be a pay of beauties. I did not like being 96 00:06:47.839 --> 00:06:52.759 addressed in this manner, especially by a stranger, and especially 97 00:06:52.800 --> 00:06:56.360 by a stranger like this stranger. He was a short, 98 00:06:56.519 --> 00:07:01.800 undersized man with a vacous expression of countenance. His attire 99 00:07:01.920 --> 00:07:06.720 suggested seediness. Perceiving that I did not appreciate his manner, 100 00:07:06.959 --> 00:07:12.279 he explained no offense intended, sir, but I just now 101 00:07:12.399 --> 00:07:16.480 saw you playing pantaloon to that youngster's clown, and I 102 00:07:16.600 --> 00:07:19.079 thought that he made the end of the poker rather hot. 103 00:07:20.000 --> 00:07:24.720 As for me, I'm an ass all over. My name's John's. 104 00:07:25.600 --> 00:07:28.920 I came to this place to shear the sheep. There's 105 00:07:28.959 --> 00:07:32.000 been some shearing, but it's the sheep that's done it. 106 00:07:33.160 --> 00:07:36.560 They've about sheared me. I happen to have a trifle 107 00:07:36.600 --> 00:07:38.959 of money, so I came to these parts to see 108 00:07:38.959 --> 00:07:41.759 if I could do a bit of book making. I've 109 00:07:41.800 --> 00:07:45.000 done a bit. The gentlemen these parts have also done 110 00:07:45.000 --> 00:07:48.959 a bit. They've got hold of pretty well every blessed 111 00:07:49.000 --> 00:07:54.399 mag I had. I did not encourage mister Johns. Quite 112 00:07:54.480 --> 00:07:59.800 the contrary. I'd heard of him before the regimental races 113 00:07:59.800 --> 00:08:03.680 had had recently been held. A bookmaker had appeared upon 114 00:08:03.800 --> 00:08:09.399 the scene mister John's. Nearly every man in the place 115 00:08:09.439 --> 00:08:12.160 had bets with him, and so nearly every man in 116 00:08:12.199 --> 00:08:15.560 the place he had lost his money with a vengeance, 117 00:08:15.720 --> 00:08:21.160 had the Philistine been spoiled. End of chapter. 118 00:08:20.800 --> 00:08:34.600 One section twenty six of Amusement Only. This is a 119 00:08:34.639 --> 00:08:38.919 LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. 120 00:08:39.639 --> 00:08:44.559 For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. 121 00:08:45.600 --> 00:08:50.799 Recording by Peter John Keeble Amusement Only by Richard marsh 122 00:08:51.200 --> 00:08:56.759 By Deputy A reminiscence of travel, chapter two. The game. 123 00:08:57.919 --> 00:09:00.639 Later in the day on which I had shot off 124 00:09:00.679 --> 00:09:04.440 that match with mister Tebb, I encountered mister Johns again. 125 00:09:04.960 --> 00:09:06.919 I was in the billiard room of what was called 126 00:09:07.279 --> 00:09:11.159 the Club. As regards membership, it was very free and 127 00:09:11.200 --> 00:09:16.159 easy club. Indeed, a local celebrity was taking the floor. 128 00:09:17.200 --> 00:09:20.440 The room was tolerably full. On one of the side 129 00:09:20.440 --> 00:09:24.919 seats was mister Johns. The local celebrity was a mister Colson. 130 00:09:25.639 --> 00:09:29.279 Mister Coulson was stud groomed to the Raja of Ahmed Nugger. 131 00:09:30.240 --> 00:09:33.919 He was also and at the same time one of 132 00:09:34.000 --> 00:09:36.799 the most obnoxious persons I have in the course of 133 00:09:36.840 --> 00:09:41.240 my career, had the pleasure of meeting. There never was 134 00:09:41.440 --> 00:09:45.679 such a loud voice braggot. It set one's nerves on 135 00:09:45.960 --> 00:09:49.120 edge to hear him, to listen to him. There was 136 00:09:49.159 --> 00:09:53.080 nothing he could not do The misfortune was that some 137 00:09:53.120 --> 00:09:55.720 of the things which he said he could do, he 138 00:09:55.799 --> 00:09:59.279 could do and do well. I had found that out 139 00:09:59.279 --> 00:10:02.120 to my costs soon after my arrival in Armored Nugger, 140 00:10:02.559 --> 00:10:05.639 and in consequence he had sat on me heavily ever since. 141 00:10:06.600 --> 00:10:12.000 He was a horrible man. That evening, mister Coulson was 142 00:10:12.039 --> 00:10:16.159 holding forth in his usual style on the subject of billiards. 143 00:10:17.200 --> 00:10:19.840 I should mention that at the period of which I 144 00:10:19.879 --> 00:10:24.440 am writing, mister John Roberts, the famous player, was on 145 00:10:24.519 --> 00:10:29.039 a tour in India. I saw John Roberts at Calcutta, 146 00:10:29.240 --> 00:10:33.600 observed mister Coulson, and he saw me. He also saw 147 00:10:33.679 --> 00:10:36.960 me play. When he saw me play, he said he 148 00:10:37.080 --> 00:10:39.759 doubted if he could give me fifteen in a hundred. 149 00:10:40.519 --> 00:10:42.320 I told him that I should like to see him 150 00:10:42.360 --> 00:10:46.080 do it, But he wouldn't take it on. Is that so, 151 00:10:46.320 --> 00:10:50.559 asked mister Johns. That is so, I should like to 152 00:10:50.600 --> 00:10:54.000 see him give me ten in a hundred, either John 153 00:10:54.080 --> 00:10:58.519 Roberts or any man now living. I should like to 154 00:10:58.519 --> 00:11:02.480 have a game with you, mister Colson. You would Mister 155 00:11:02.559 --> 00:11:06.600 Coulson looked at mister Johns. He looked him up and down. 156 00:11:07.519 --> 00:11:12.120 Mister Coulson was large and florid. Mister Johns was small 157 00:11:12.320 --> 00:11:19.440 and underfed. Mister Coulson was at least expensively attired. About 158 00:11:19.440 --> 00:11:24.480 mister John's costume, there was certainly no suspicion of expense. 159 00:11:25.840 --> 00:11:28.039 I don't mind having you a hundred up, my lad? 160 00:11:28.879 --> 00:11:32.799 How many shall I give you? I'm no player, mister Coulson, 161 00:11:33.200 --> 00:11:35.720 but I'd like to play you, even if only for 162 00:11:35.759 --> 00:11:38.240 the sake of saying, then I had the cheek to 163 00:11:38.320 --> 00:11:42.279 do it. You shall have that pleasure. And how much 164 00:11:42.279 --> 00:11:44.240 would you like to have on, if only for the 165 00:11:44.320 --> 00:11:46.200 sake of saying that you had the cheap to have 166 00:11:46.320 --> 00:11:51.879 it on? And mister Colson winked at the company in general. Well, 167 00:11:51.879 --> 00:11:54.799 mister Coulson, you and the other gentleman have won all 168 00:11:54.799 --> 00:11:58.639 my money, but I dare say I might manage ten rupees. 169 00:11:59.519 --> 00:12:02.720 Put him up, my lad, here's my ten. We'll play 170 00:12:02.759 --> 00:12:08.720 for the twenty. They played for the twenty, and to 171 00:12:08.799 --> 00:12:13.320 my satisfaction, and I believe to the satisfaction of most 172 00:12:13.320 --> 00:12:15.919 of the others who were in the room, it was 173 00:12:16.000 --> 00:12:19.720 mister Johns who won. I am bound to say that 174 00:12:19.799 --> 00:12:22.480 it seemed to me to be rather a fluky win. 175 00:12:23.480 --> 00:12:28.440 Mister Coulson, whose disgust was amusing, had no doubt whatever 176 00:12:28.519 --> 00:12:32.279 about the fluke. Never saw anything like it. Never. The 177 00:12:32.320 --> 00:12:35.399 balls never broke for me, not once. As for you, 178 00:12:35.600 --> 00:12:39.320 why you did nothing else but fluke? Do you think so? 179 00:12:40.000 --> 00:12:43.759 I'll play you again double or quits, and I'll give 180 00:12:43.799 --> 00:12:48.320 you ten in the hundred, mister Coulson. Mister Coulson seemed amazed. 181 00:12:49.399 --> 00:12:53.039 In fact, I have no doubt he was amazed. I 182 00:12:53.279 --> 00:12:56.720 like your modesty. You'll give me ten. Here's my twenty. 183 00:12:56.799 --> 00:13:00.360 I'll take you on. Mister Coulson took him on, and 184 00:13:00.480 --> 00:13:04.320 by way of fair exchange, mister Johns took him off. 185 00:13:05.159 --> 00:13:07.600 That is to say, he took off the stakes and 186 00:13:07.720 --> 00:13:12.279 the game. He did it rather neatly, just running in 187 00:13:12.519 --> 00:13:17.000 as mister Coulson looked like winning. Mister Colson was ajec 188 00:13:17.159 --> 00:13:21.559 tibal never saw anything like it never, and all my 189 00:13:21.639 --> 00:13:26.200 born days never saw anything like my something something something luck. 190 00:13:27.240 --> 00:13:32.240 And as for your fluking, why it just beats anything? Think so? 191 00:13:33.000 --> 00:13:37.200 I'll play you again, mister Coulson, and again double or quits, 192 00:13:37.440 --> 00:13:39.759 and this time I'll give you twenty in a hundred. 193 00:13:40.600 --> 00:13:43.519 You'll give me, you'll give me twenty and a hundred. 194 00:13:43.759 --> 00:13:48.440 You will come on, that'll be forty rupees. Aside, here's mine, 195 00:13:48.679 --> 00:13:51.840 muc B put me on twenty, and we'll see what 196 00:13:51.919 --> 00:13:55.279 I can do. We did see what he could do. 197 00:13:56.039 --> 00:13:58.879 We also saw that mister Johns seemed able to do 198 00:13:58.919 --> 00:14:03.519 a little better once more, he won the game. I 199 00:14:03.519 --> 00:14:06.360 am sure that we were all enjoying ourselves very much, 200 00:14:07.159 --> 00:14:10.639 much more than we had any reason to anticipate. As 201 00:14:10.679 --> 00:14:14.919 for mister Coulson, he went purple. He showered on mister 202 00:14:15.039 --> 00:14:18.120 John's a volley of that language which I had found 203 00:14:18.159 --> 00:14:22.639 pretty fashionable, and ahmored nugger. Mister Johns listened to him 204 00:14:22.639 --> 00:14:27.120 in silence while he pocketed the spoils. Then he had 205 00:14:27.159 --> 00:14:31.240 his say, you say I fluke, Why, my dear sir, 206 00:14:31.919 --> 00:14:35.399 you've no idea what a fluke is. You've no idea 207 00:14:35.440 --> 00:14:38.759 of any sort about billiards. You can no more play 208 00:14:38.840 --> 00:14:42.279 billiards than you can play the gentleman. You can't. You're 209 00:14:42.320 --> 00:14:45.120 the sort of person who is just as well once 210 00:14:45.200 --> 00:14:49.679 in a way to expose you're a humbug. Mister Coulson, 211 00:14:49.759 --> 00:14:53.720 You're a humbug. As for John Roberts, doubting if he 212 00:14:53.720 --> 00:14:56.639 could give you fifteen in a hundred, why he could 213 00:14:56.639 --> 00:14:59.080 give you ninety nine in a hundred and beat you 214 00:14:59.240 --> 00:15:03.279 single handed. I tell you what I will do, mister Coulson. 215 00:15:04.279 --> 00:15:06.840 I will play you five hundred up for five hundred 216 00:15:06.919 --> 00:15:11.120 rupees aside. I will give you four hundred start, and 217 00:15:11.200 --> 00:15:13.120 I will lay two to one against you with any 218 00:15:13.200 --> 00:15:16.879 gentleman who cares to vac you. I don't think that's 219 00:15:16.919 --> 00:15:22.000 an unfair offer, mister Coulson. It struck me as at 220 00:15:22.039 --> 00:15:26.039 any rate a rash offer. Mister Coulson was not such 221 00:15:26.080 --> 00:15:29.720 a tyroer as mister Johns made out. He had made 222 00:15:29.840 --> 00:15:33.600 mincemeat of me. I do know that. Yet the offer 223 00:15:33.639 --> 00:15:37.120 did not seem to be made in any spirit of bragadaccio. 224 00:15:38.399 --> 00:15:42.600 I fancy that the quiet, matter of fact manner in 225 00:15:42.679 --> 00:15:46.320 which it was made impressed mister Coulson more than he 226 00:15:46.399 --> 00:15:50.759 altogether cared to own. My impression is that if he 227 00:15:50.840 --> 00:15:54.080 had his own way, he would have changed the subject. 228 00:15:54.679 --> 00:15:58.240 But the odds offered him were such, and the challenge 229 00:15:58.320 --> 00:16:01.679 was made in such a public manner, that he probably 230 00:16:01.759 --> 00:16:05.200 felt that if he wished to preserve a rag of reputation, 231 00:16:06.039 --> 00:16:08.399 now or never was the time to show the stuff 232 00:16:08.399 --> 00:16:12.159 that he was made of anyhow, the offer was accepted 233 00:16:12.919 --> 00:16:15.559 and the terms of the match were definitely arranged before 234 00:16:15.600 --> 00:16:19.960 the parties left the room. End of chapter two of 235 00:16:20.120 --> 00:16:34.600 by Deputy. Recording by Peter John Keeble, Nottingham, United Kingdom, 236 00:16:35.639 --> 00:16:40.879 Section twenty seven of Amusement Only. This is a LibriVox recording. 237 00:16:41.720 --> 00:16:45.759 All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more 238 00:16:45.799 --> 00:16:52.440 information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Recording 239 00:16:52.480 --> 00:16:59.240 by Peter John Keeble, Amusement Only by Richard marsh By Deputy, 240 00:17:00.080 --> 00:17:05.400 A reminiscence of travel, Chapter three the Coalition. As I 241 00:17:05.519 --> 00:17:08.759 was retiring to rest, some one tapped at my bedroom door. 242 00:17:09.799 --> 00:17:13.319 In response to my invitation to enter. Mister Johns came 243 00:17:13.359 --> 00:17:17.160 in without any preamble. He plunged at once into the 244 00:17:17.160 --> 00:17:20.559 purport of his presence in my chamber. At that hour 245 00:17:20.680 --> 00:17:25.319 of the night, or rather morning, I have come, mister greeneal, 246 00:17:25.559 --> 00:17:29.559 to ask you to lend me five hundred rupees. I 247 00:17:29.680 --> 00:17:34.319 turned looked at him. He met my glance without showing 248 00:17:34.400 --> 00:17:39.039 any signs of discomposure. You have come to what he 249 00:17:39.119 --> 00:17:41.839 repeated his remark, quite as though it were a matter 250 00:17:41.880 --> 00:17:44.880 of course to ask if you will lend me five 251 00:17:44.960 --> 00:17:48.480 hundred rupees. I don't know if you are in earnest, 252 00:17:48.519 --> 00:17:51.640 mister Johns. If you are, I would remark, first then 253 00:17:51.680 --> 00:17:54.359 I am not a money lender, and second that you 254 00:17:54.400 --> 00:17:57.799 are a complete stranger to me. I want the money 255 00:17:57.920 --> 00:18:01.960 to stake in my match with mister Colson. Indeed, is 256 00:18:02.000 --> 00:18:04.799 that so, then that is an added reason why I 257 00:18:04.799 --> 00:18:08.000 should decline to lend it to you. In my opinion, 258 00:18:08.039 --> 00:18:11.759 mister Johns, your chances of success in that match are, 259 00:18:12.039 --> 00:18:16.039 to say the least of it remote. Look here, mister Greenell, 260 00:18:16.400 --> 00:18:18.400 I'm the last man in the world to wish to 261 00:18:18.440 --> 00:18:22.680 make myself offensive. But if we can understand each other, 262 00:18:23.160 --> 00:18:24.960 I think that you and I might do each other 263 00:18:25.000 --> 00:18:28.279 a good turn. I know all about how you've been 264 00:18:28.319 --> 00:18:31.440 treated by the fellows here. I know how they've all 265 00:18:31.480 --> 00:18:34.680 been taking pop shots at you. From what I hear, 266 00:18:34.759 --> 00:18:37.680 they've made you look like the biggest all round muff 267 00:18:37.759 --> 00:18:41.359 that ever left his mammy. I dare say it's cost 268 00:18:41.400 --> 00:18:46.160 you something too. I did not altogether appreciate this gentleman's 269 00:18:46.160 --> 00:18:50.519 free and easy style of conversation, but to a certain extent, I, 270 00:18:51.240 --> 00:18:55.640 so to speak, dissembled. I do not know what warrant 271 00:18:55.640 --> 00:18:58.359 you have, mister Johns, for your remarks, And in any case, 272 00:18:58.400 --> 00:19:02.079 I fail to see what business it is of yours. 273 00:19:02.480 --> 00:19:04.759 It's this way, if you like, you can be even 274 00:19:04.799 --> 00:19:07.400 with all the lot of them, and more than even, 275 00:19:08.920 --> 00:19:12.440 how by lending you five hundred rupees and letting you have, 276 00:19:12.880 --> 00:19:15.039 as you put it, a pop shot at me with 277 00:19:15.119 --> 00:19:19.400 the rest of them. Thank you, mister Johns. By the way, 278 00:19:19.559 --> 00:19:22.559 I fancy I've heard of some personal persons taking pop 279 00:19:22.599 --> 00:19:25.480 shots at you. I think I did hear that you 280 00:19:25.599 --> 00:19:28.359 came here to make a fortune. Did you make it, 281 00:19:28.400 --> 00:19:32.640 mister Johns? No, I didn't hang em like you. I 282 00:19:32.720 --> 00:19:35.240 owe them one and I mean to pay them with 283 00:19:35.519 --> 00:19:38.640 compound interest, and if you like to say the word, 284 00:19:38.799 --> 00:19:41.000 I'll pay them that little lot you owe them too. 285 00:19:42.359 --> 00:19:45.920 Look here, mister Greenell, I don't mind owning that. A 286 00:19:46.000 --> 00:19:49.599 keener lot of gentlemen than the gentlemen here I don't 287 00:19:49.599 --> 00:19:52.839 think I've ever had to do with I won't say 288 00:19:52.880 --> 00:19:55.880 they robbed me, but they certainly cut me up into 289 00:19:56.000 --> 00:20:00.559 very nice little pieces, and they handed me around. I've 290 00:20:00.599 --> 00:20:03.839 seldom seen anything of the kind which was better done. 291 00:20:05.079 --> 00:20:09.480 But never mind, my turn's coming. I'm not fond of bragging. 292 00:20:09.720 --> 00:20:12.559 Quite the other way. If it wasn't that I was 293 00:20:12.599 --> 00:20:15.799 in a hole, I wouldn't say a word. But it 294 00:20:15.880 --> 00:20:18.319 is the simple truth that all the things at which 295 00:20:18.359 --> 00:20:22.119 these fellows think they're damsters, I'm as far ahead of 296 00:20:22.160 --> 00:20:25.880 them as they're ahead of you. No offense intended. You 297 00:20:25.960 --> 00:20:27.680 could take my word for it that I know what 298 00:20:27.720 --> 00:20:32.200 I'm talking about. It doesn't follow because just once in 299 00:20:32.200 --> 00:20:34.359 a way they happen to muck up my book that 300 00:20:34.440 --> 00:20:38.559 I'm flat as for being able to give Colson four 301 00:20:38.640 --> 00:20:42.400 hundred out of five hundred billiards. If I choose, and 302 00:20:42.480 --> 00:20:46.880 I shall choose, he's simply bound to lose. I don't 303 00:20:46.920 --> 00:20:49.200 mean to say that I'm a John Roberts, because I'm not. 304 00:20:50.160 --> 00:20:53.039 But I do know how to play, and that in 305 00:20:53.119 --> 00:20:57.920 a sense which Coulson hasn't even begun to understand. I've 306 00:20:57.960 --> 00:21:01.839 heard that mister Coulson hasn't behaved overwell to you. I 307 00:21:01.880 --> 00:21:04.160 thought you'd like to see him taken down a peg 308 00:21:04.359 --> 00:21:07.640 or two. I should I should have liked to have 309 00:21:07.720 --> 00:21:10.559 seen more than one of them taken down a peggle two, 310 00:21:11.759 --> 00:21:15.319 though I said nothing of that to mister Johns. How 311 00:21:15.359 --> 00:21:17.759 came you to match yourself, mister Johns, when you were 312 00:21:17.799 --> 00:21:21.839 aware that you were not in possession of the required stakes. 313 00:21:22.279 --> 00:21:24.400 I took it for granted that I should get mistakes 314 00:21:24.440 --> 00:21:29.079 from you. Mister Johns, was frank at any rate from me? 315 00:21:29.720 --> 00:21:33.599 What claim do you suppose yourself have on me? No claim? 316 00:21:34.319 --> 00:21:37.759 But you see, sir, they've had me and they've had you. 317 00:21:38.319 --> 00:21:42.119 They've had both of us, in fact, pretty smartly. And 318 00:21:42.200 --> 00:21:44.400 I thought you might like to be even with some 319 00:21:44.440 --> 00:21:50.799 of them by deputy, by deputy, if it was workable. 320 00:21:50.839 --> 00:21:53.720 That was not a bad idea. I felt that I 321 00:21:53.759 --> 00:21:56.799 should like to be even with some of them. Beginnings 322 00:21:56.799 --> 00:22:00.480 say with mister Coulson, how that man had welched me 323 00:22:00.559 --> 00:22:05.000 beneath his elephantine foot, the brute, even as it were, 324 00:22:05.400 --> 00:22:09.359 by deputy. What guarantee have I that you will not 325 00:22:09.480 --> 00:22:12.240 lose my money as you have already lost your own. 326 00:22:13.680 --> 00:22:15.599 If we get up early, we shall have the billiard 327 00:22:15.640 --> 00:22:18.480 room all to ourselves. If you like, I will give 328 00:22:18.519 --> 00:22:20.400 you some idea of what I can do upon a 329 00:22:20.440 --> 00:22:24.200 billiard table. We did get up early, we did have 330 00:22:24.279 --> 00:22:28.079 the billiard room all to ourselves, and mister Johns did 331 00:22:28.119 --> 00:22:30.160 give me some idea of what he could do upon 332 00:22:30.200 --> 00:22:34.960 a billiard table for one thing. He got on the spot, 333 00:22:35.480 --> 00:22:38.200 and he stopped there. He continued to put the red 334 00:22:38.240 --> 00:22:42.599 down without once missing, until the marker appeared. When the 335 00:22:42.640 --> 00:22:45.880 marker did appear, we thought that perhaps the proceedings had 336 00:22:45.880 --> 00:22:50.279 better cease, if I can trust my memory. Before the 337 00:22:50.319 --> 00:22:53.759 preceding cease, mister Johns had put the red down something 338 00:22:53.839 --> 00:22:58.119 like two hundred times in succession. I thought that was 339 00:22:58.160 --> 00:23:02.599 good enough even for mister I agreed to advance a 340 00:23:02.680 --> 00:23:08.119 necessary number of rupees. The match came off. It was 341 00:23:08.200 --> 00:23:12.799 a beautiful match. The room was crowded to overflowing. Mister 342 00:23:12.880 --> 00:23:16.119 Johns had managed to back himself into a very fair amount. 343 00:23:16.640 --> 00:23:19.680 Even I, in my small way, had managed to back 344 00:23:19.759 --> 00:23:23.119 him too. But there was not so much readiness shown 345 00:23:23.160 --> 00:23:27.119 to support the local champion as I had expected. They 346 00:23:27.160 --> 00:23:30.079 were keen with a man of Arvid Nugger. I fancied 347 00:23:30.119 --> 00:23:33.200 her already. They had begun to smell a rat, and 348 00:23:33.279 --> 00:23:35.960 not only so. They were always willing to make a bet, 349 00:23:36.680 --> 00:23:40.119 but on that particular occasion they were almost equally willing 350 00:23:40.160 --> 00:23:44.160 to see mister Coulson come to grief. I think that 351 00:23:44.319 --> 00:23:47.920 in those parts mister Coulson was not so popular as 352 00:23:47.920 --> 00:23:51.200 he deserved to be. I verily believed that there were 353 00:23:51.240 --> 00:23:54.200 some who objected to him almost as much as I did. 354 00:23:55.200 --> 00:23:59.960 Poor mister Coulson, he was painfully nervous. His nervousness prevented 355 00:24:00.160 --> 00:24:03.880 is showing even his usual form. He had made fifteen 356 00:24:04.319 --> 00:24:08.240 when mister John's getting on the spot stayed there, he 357 00:24:08.359 --> 00:24:12.559 ran out without once putting down his cue. Nothing like 358 00:24:12.640 --> 00:24:16.920 it had ever been seen before an armed another. When 359 00:24:16.920 --> 00:24:20.359 the marker notified the fact that mister Johns had completed 360 00:24:20.359 --> 00:24:25.039 his fifth hundred, mister Coulson was for a moment speechless. 361 00:24:25.759 --> 00:24:28.319 He seemed unable to realize that the thing was so. 362 00:24:29.039 --> 00:24:33.039 It's a it's a something swindle. Beg your pardon, mister Coulson. 363 00:24:33.200 --> 00:24:37.119 It's a what. Mister Coulson's tone was loud and threatening. 364 00:24:37.440 --> 00:24:41.880 Mister John's tongue was quiet and almost indifferent. Yet mister 365 00:24:41.960 --> 00:24:46.079 Coulson did not seem to altogether like it. He began 366 00:24:46.160 --> 00:24:49.599 to bluster, You do not tell me that you were 367 00:24:49.599 --> 00:24:52.440 a professional. No, I did not tell you that I 368 00:24:52.519 --> 00:24:55.799 was a professional. You didn't play the other night as 369 00:24:55.839 --> 00:24:59.240 you played to day. It looks to me uncommonly like 370 00:24:59.279 --> 00:25:02.319 a put up thing. It looks to you like a 371 00:25:02.359 --> 00:25:05.440 put up thing, does it, mister Coulson. Well, I'll give 372 00:25:05.440 --> 00:25:08.960 you a chance of showing your professional slide. I believe 373 00:25:09.079 --> 00:25:13.079 you can drive. Drive. Mister Coulson looked at the little 374 00:25:13.119 --> 00:25:15.279 man as if he would like to eat him. I'm 375 00:25:15.279 --> 00:25:18.759 the finest whip in India. Indeed? Is that so? When 376 00:25:18.799 --> 00:25:21.359 I'll drive you either four or eight in hand for 377 00:25:21.440 --> 00:25:25.599 a thousand rupees aside? Although you are the finest whip 378 00:25:25.640 --> 00:25:30.680 in India, mister Coulson snapped at his offer before it 379 00:25:30.759 --> 00:25:33.359 was fairly out of his mouth, and I felt that 380 00:25:33.400 --> 00:25:37.279 mister Johns was going a little too far. It was 381 00:25:37.359 --> 00:25:40.680 one thing to match him at Billiard's, another thing to 382 00:25:40.680 --> 00:25:45.039 match him at driving. There, mister Coulson was on his 383 00:25:45.200 --> 00:25:49.000 native heath. When I was alone with mister Johns, I 384 00:25:49.079 --> 00:25:51.920 told him, so, I don't know if you're aware of, 385 00:25:52.039 --> 00:25:55.759 mister Johns, that mister Coulson really is a first rate whip. 386 00:25:56.839 --> 00:25:59.920 I'm informed that it was his magnificent driving which first 387 00:26:00.079 --> 00:26:04.759 attracted the Raja's attention. Mister Johns did not exhibit much 388 00:26:04.799 --> 00:26:09.319 appearance of concern. I guess I'll fix him anyhow. I 389 00:26:09.319 --> 00:26:11.759 haven't driven a stage over some of the worst country 390 00:26:11.759 --> 00:26:15.680 in the Western States of America for nothing. I'll back 391 00:26:15.759 --> 00:26:18.160 myself to drive a coash and four along a wall 392 00:26:18.359 --> 00:26:21.319 just wide enough to hold the wheels. I'll take you 393 00:26:21.359 --> 00:26:24.319 as a passenger if you like to come. Thank you, 394 00:26:24.400 --> 00:26:28.519 mister Johns. My tastes do not incline that way, don't 395 00:26:28.559 --> 00:26:30.680 you worry, mister Greeneal. I mean to take on the 396 00:26:30.720 --> 00:26:33.400 whole lot of em, one after the other, and show 397 00:26:33.400 --> 00:26:36.960 of em a thing or two all round. These gentlemen 398 00:26:36.960 --> 00:26:39.880 here fancy they know a little, but we'll be more 399 00:26:39.920 --> 00:26:44.279 than even with them before we've done. The driving match 400 00:26:44.359 --> 00:26:47.240 came off. I do not know how they manage similar 401 00:26:47.240 --> 00:26:51.640