Speaker 1: Just when you thought it was safe to go back
in the water. Jason and d of the Shirly Can't
Be Serious podcast, along with Jeff of the Film By Podcast,
are tackling Jaws three D from nineteen eighty three. Jeff,
how you doing, man, Welcome back?
Speaker 2: I am doing great, feeling great. Ready to talk Jaws
three D?
Speaker 1: Yeah, how you do.
Speaker 3: I'm so mad at you, guys. I'm so mad. Hey,
I don't like watching terrible movies, and you guys made
me watch this terrible movie.
Speaker 1: You walked out of the theater on Jaws three D in
nineteen eighty three and have not revisited it until yesterday.
Speaker 3: I have a couple of days ago, a couple days ago.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, let's talk about it.
Speaker 3: Oh gosh, first.
Speaker 1: Thing we need to talk about out of the gate.
You and I covered Jaws in season one. Compared that
to Jurassic Park, all time classic movie, and Jaws is
one of the great movies of the seventies.
Speaker 3: You might call Jaws three D a combination of the
two story ideas of Jaws and Jurassic Park.
Speaker 1: It's true. It's true. That is very true. Before we
go down this road, we should mention we are comparing
Jaws three D from nineteen eighty three against Beverly Hills
Cop three released in nineteen ninety four, two of the
worst number threes in a successful franchise. Very true, We're
gonna ask that question. We're we're gonna address that head on.
Speaker 3: But to continue your storyline, we've covered Jaws. Yep. You
better need a pig up coach a film buy covered
Jaws two.
Speaker 4: But I'm telling you, and I'm telling everybody at this table,
that's a shock.
Speaker 1: And I know what a shock looks like because I've
seen one up close. And you better do something about
this one because I don't tend to go through that
hell a game.
Speaker 3: Yep.
Speaker 2: Yes, last season on our limited series, A Film at
forty five, where we celebrate the forty fifth anniversary of
movies Jaws two.
Speaker 3: Now that one Roy Scheider did as a way to
get out of a two movie clause in a contract
that he had. Is that right?
Speaker 1: That is correct? Yeah? He famously said he would never
return to the Jaws franchise after working on that one.
Speaker 3: Messistophiles himself could not force me to do another Jaws movie.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what else he did? He went as
far as signing on to do Blue Thunder intentionally so
that he would be busy, so that they couldn't twist
his arm and make him come back for it.
Speaker 3: Have you guys seen Blue Thunder? Yes? Yes, And did
he make the right choice.
Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely he did. But continuing on, Jeff, you guys
covered Jaws two what a couple of seasons ago? Maybe
last Yeah, last season? We did last season. And then
Dee and I along with you and Brad, we covered
Jaws of the Revenge Wow versus Superman four a couple
of seasons ago, and we had a lot of fun
doing that. We've had a blast doing that. Yeah, that
and that turned out to be really good episod that.
I think we've done Jaws one, just two Jos four.
We cannot not do Josh three. Could have, but we're
not going to. We are tackling on where's the completionist
in ud let's do this.
Speaker 3: So when we went to Jazz two, we had a
different director than Jos one. Spielberg did not come back
despite the fact that this is the Jaws made him,
I mean it made him right, not the sugar Land Express.
It made him and obviously he had to continue it on.
He did Close Encounters and all of that. But then
they brought in another director for Jos two who got fired.
Speaker 2: I believe the original one got fired, and then Chaneault
Swark took over.
Speaker 3: Now, when that happened, they had kind of discussed having
Verna Fields and Joe Alvis take over as directors, as
co directors, right, that's right, Yeah, that is correct, and
they said, no, we're not going to do that. We're
going to go with somebody who has actually directed a
movie before. And then just three came along and they said, hey,
we've got Joe Dante who's willing to direct. And they
said no, no, no, no, let's go with the guy who's
never directed a movie before. Oh which guy is that?
The guy who was the set designer for the original Joss,
the one where the shark didn't work. Yeah, we're going
to have him come back on and we're going to
have him direct a movie that's the third and a
major franchise.
Speaker 1: Our shark couldn't have killed over him.
Speaker 3: Its mother did, Damn sharks.
Speaker 1: We talked about how the entire movie of Jaws one,
like the most common thing they would hear every morning
was the shark is not working. The Shark is not working,
and Joe Alves was the guy in charge of the Shark.
Speaker 2: We don't get that iconic line without Joe Alvis, so
we owe him.
Speaker 1: That much, right, That's right. Okay, So let's talk about
what was originally on the slate to be Jaws three.
Speaker 3: This is an amazing story right here.
Speaker 1: It might be the movie I most want to see
from the eighties that we didn't get. That's cup, Jeff,
I love that cut. You like that. I do. Yes,
shout out. Shout out to your guys. Is awesome Patreon
because I'm not just a listener. I'm a subscriber, you know,
and I get these cool little bonus items. Okay. So
the original idea for the follow up to Jaws two
was to make a spoof movie i e. Airplane called
Jaws three People.
Speaker 3: Zero Yeah, National lampoon style.
Speaker 1: Yes yeah. And they asked Joe Dante, who had directed
the nineteen seventy eight Piranha movie as a spoof of Jaws,
to be the director. He's like, yeah, let's do this.
Speaker 3: They had Mattie Simmons, who was the producer on Vacation Movies,
to Animal House and House all the National Lampoon stuff
that he was going to come on as producer. Freaking
John Hughes was brought on to help write the script.
Speaker 1: Could you imagine what this could have been?
Speaker 3: And they brought Peter Benchley back in just to have
him get eaten by a shark in his pool as
the opening scene.
Speaker 1: That sounds like a movie that would be a lot
of fun in one I would want to watch.
Speaker 3: And then Son of a Bee, stupid Steven Spielberg comes
in and says, if you guys do this, I will
walk away from Universal Pictures.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure I believe that story. Okay, I mean
he was okay with Piranha.
Speaker 3: Right because it wasn't a Universal Pictures.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean he was okay with them copying Jaws
to do something else. I don't know. I did read that.
Did you read the script?
Speaker 3: I did not get a chance to read this.
Speaker 1: Did you read the script? I did not see it,
So I read a few pages that I could. The
opening scene, of course, is Peter Benchley getting eaten by
the shark in his swimming pool, which is cool. I
also read that there were aliens dressed as sharks chasing
people in this movie, and I get a little weird. Yeah,
that does sound a look weird. And I did read
that this movie would have featured a naked Mary Kathleen
Collins the entire movie.
Speaker 3: Mary Kathleen called me Mary Kathleen. I don't know who
that is.
Speaker 1: Well, you might know her stage name as Bo Derek.
Speaker 3: Oh, yes, okay, I'm down with that.
Speaker 1: I was about to say, why do I care? And
now I care a lot.
Speaker 3: The same year that Tarzan a Man came.
Speaker 1: Out, Tarzan a Man is eighty one?
Speaker 3: Okay, so this is peak. This is peak peak Boeric.
Not that she's ever not been peak on he is
he the camera's origin Tom? I mean she did.
Speaker 1: But I did read that Steven Spielberg was not happy
with it and threatened Universal, Hey guys, we're not doing this.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I also read Joe Dante that the producers his next
door neighbors, Dick Xanak and David Brown.
Speaker 3: The guys who had produced the original draws.
Speaker 1: Yes, he thinks that they would have clashed heads with
Matti Simmons eventually who wanted he wanted Matty Simmons wanted
to do a raunchy animal house style comedy, and they
wanted to be more PG area, So he didn't think.
Speaker 3: It was going to work anyway in the comedy. They
were going to bring back Dreyfus. By the way, Richard
Dreyfus was going to be in it with bo Derek.
How awesome would that?
Speaker 1: That would have been amazing, That would have been a hit.
This was no boating accident. I got something that might
might blow your mind. Okay, let's have it. There's a
little bit more to the story here, Okay. Which got
so when the studio balked at the idea of doing
the comedy, you know, basically like lampooning themselves. This is
where Richard Matheson teams up with Gwenden True Blood and
we get the alternate Jaws three script, which is all
about the shark swimming into a saltwater river and gets
trapped in a man made lake. Apparently they offered this
to Spielberg. He turns down Jaws two because he's chasing
aliens with Richard Dreyfuss in close encounters this time. He
just he has no excuse, and he just said flat
out says no. I got a quote here from him.
He says, I would have absolutely jumped at the chance
to own the sequel because I knew that when I
was walking away from the sequel, I was walking away
from a huge piece of my life that I had
helped to create.
Speaker 2: But it wasn't a hard decision to walk away from it.
I just could not imagine going back out on the
ocean and sitting in a boat for nine months.
Speaker 3: It's a good quote.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so he passes on it. The studio looks at
Matheson says, hey, let's skip the man made lake.
Speaker 1: How about SeaWorld. Let we like the we like the
shark being trapped, but let's let's take it the sea World.
Speaker 2: And he's okay. And they said, well can we throw
the Brody Children in there? And he's like what, Yeah, yeah,
we got to have the Brody Children?
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: And then well, hey, can we have the electrocuted shark
from Jalls two still out there? He says, no, okay,
I'm out. Yeah. At this point, yeah, at that point
he had walked away. As you guys both already know this.
This goes through plenty of rewrites, but yeah, they kept
the SeaWorld, They kept the Brody Children in eighty six
to the electricated.
Speaker 3: Shark, Well they had I mean the production company on
this was not actually Universal. Universal was kind of calling
some shots, but it had been purchased by Alan Landsberg Productions.
And does Alan Lansburg ring a bell for you guys, No, no, no, okay,
that's that's understandable. I mean, the man was involved in
producing over fifty Movies of the Week, Movies the Week,
I love those things for one of the first reality
TV shows. Do you guys remember That's incredible in the early.
Speaker 1: Eighties, I love, I love that's incredible.
Speaker 3: So that's the guy that took over the Jaws Frank Well.
Speaker 1: Where's Fran targeted? And Kathley Crosby.
Speaker 3: If we'd have had Fran Tartan Kathley Crosby in the
parts of Mike Brody and whatever the best doctor k
oh my gosh, it's been a winner. Fantastic.
Speaker 1: Hey. You know, we talked about why they did this initially.
The reason why they did even Jaws the Revenge is
because the TV airings of Jaws and Jaws two did
so well. They're like, let's make more, you know, let's
make some more of these because they are doing great,
people love them.
Speaker 3: As it turns out, they were actually right. This was
the fifteenth highest grossing movie of nineteen eighty three, a
year that had a lot of really dad gum good movies. Yeah, fifteenth.
It made eighty seven million dollars.
Speaker 1: That's pretty good. It's pretty good.
Speaker 3: They were right this steaming pile of.
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, this is not a steaming pile just yet.
Speaker 3: Yeah it is.
Speaker 1: Hey, did they get your money in nineteen eighty three?
Speaker 3: Well, not my money, but my dad's money.
Speaker 1: He got my money.
Speaker 3: He may. I don't know if he asked for it
on the way out or not. I think he was
probably so pissed he just did get in the car
and go home. I mean, I literally I can remember
this happening. I remember where we sat. I remember that
we were midway, but we didn't go to the middle.
Like we're midway down as far as the roads go,
but we didn't go to the middle of the seat.
My dad has my dad six four long legs. Those days,
you didn't have nice, comfy theater seats. You had crappy
folding to the theater seats, right right, So we sat
in the aisle. I'm second seat over, he's in the aisle,
and all of a sudden, you know, I'm just watching
because at seven years years old, any movie is good, right, right,
any movie is good. I mean people are talking and occasionally,
you know, and I've got three D glasses on this
the first three D movie I've ever seen in my life,
and like, I'm like, oh, this is not as cool
as I thought it would be, but it's still interesting, right,
you know, these things are floating and it looks like
they're in a different plane of yeah, okay, great. And
then all of a sudden it's come on and I'm on.
What He's like, come on real eving. I'm like, well, movies,
He's like, I'm not watching the rest of this. In
my head, I'm just thinking I didn't know this was allowed.
I didn't know you were permitted to just get up
and when the movie wasn't over yet. And so from
that point on, I have always wondered, Hey, how did
this movie turn out? Was it any good? Was it
wrong for my dad to have taken me taken me
out of this? And I've come to the answer answer
is it was not wrong. He saved me, and you
sons made me drink the sour milk again.
Speaker 1: Oh what are you talking about? Let me paint an
alternate picture for you. Okay, Imagine August of nineteen eighty three.
A young Jason is ten years old, got the three
D glasses on, ready to see some shark munch on
some people. And it's right before school starts, and it's
one of those sort of evening matinees. I'm with Patreon,
remember Chris, Alexander, his dad, his brother. We're all enjoying
a summer movie. We gotta get some ice cream afterwards.
It's a great day in the summer of nineteen eighty
three for young me. I loved it. I had a blast.
Now is it great?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: Is it fun? Yes? I'm going with fun. Jeff, where
are you? I'll tell you. I remember my first time
watching this. It was at my aunt's house.
Speaker 2: She was babysitting me, and I remember maybe twenty minutes
thirty minutes into it, I was like, this sucks. And
I spent the rest of that night playing with my
superpowers figures. Had a great time. But just not with
this movie now watching it as an adult, you know,
like the last time we talked Sharks, I told you, guys,
this one's a dumpster fire. Still is, but the fire's
just not raging my last rewatch, I kind of have
come come around. I'm a little softer on it now,
and I think that has to do with Halloween three
season of the Witch.
Speaker 1: I know that's a curve ball.
Speaker 2: But when Halloween three Season the Witch comes out, it
doesn't have Michael Myers, it's not a great movie, and
everyone trashes it. Right twenty thirty years later, it's a
cult classic and we appreciate it.
Speaker 1: For being the non canon Halloween film. Jaws three is
the non canon Jaws film. When Jaws Revenge came out,
their press release said, this is the true number three.
So looking back, when you look at this as more
of a what if, because it's not the same birdie children,
it's not the same setting, I can kind of appreciate
it more as just a fun shark attack movie and
not necessarily a Jaws film. This is the never say
never again of Jaws. Good point.
Speaker 2: It absolutely is Never say Never much better than Jaws
three D. But you know, I've got a couple of
things I can talk. I can say there's some good
things about this film, but I can say plenty that
isn't good about this film.
Speaker 1: So okay, before we get into what works and what doesn't.
I want to mention that nineteen eighty three was like
the year of the three. Think about it. We had
Jaws three, we had Superman three, we had Star Wars three,
otherwise known as Return of the Jedi. We had Amityville three,
and we had Halloween three. Right, that was nineteen eighty three,
was it not?
Speaker 2: I'm not sure about that one, but I can't tell you.
Friday the thirteenth three, I think I think that one
might be.
Speaker 1: I look, that was eighty two? Was it eighty two?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 1: But still right in that area, we have the resurgence
of the three D movie. Oh yeah, it's in full effect.
So I was dazzled as a ten year old with
my three D glasses on, with the red and the blue,
you know, the old school, which is part of the
reason why when anytime it was on HBO after this,
it looked terrible. The picture quality was awful, the two
D rendering on this film, and granted, usually a three
D film on regular television does it look it's not
gonna look great, but this one is spectacularly bad. Yeah,
all right? Were ready to talk about what works and
what doesn't? Sure, I would love to know what d
thinks works in this movie. Honestly, all white shirts are killers.
I know them for got six, my father, my brother, myself.
Speaker 3: They're murderers. I think I've got three things, Okay. Number one,
I really enjoyed the Ocean, Pacific and Panama Jack T
shirts that people were wearing in the park. Yes, thought
that was great.
Speaker 1: That is great.
Speaker 3: I want those shirts back. I'm like, man, can I
just find I'm gonna go back. I spent six dollars
and ninety nine cents to buy the Blu ray on
this thing, and if I if I have to find
a value in it, it's gonna be that. I'm gonna
go back to take a screenshot of those things and
see if I can't find it on eBay somewhere.
Speaker 1: Now, so that if you get an op T shirt
out of this deal, you're gonna call it a win.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the only win.
Speaker 1: I want an op T shirt, all right. I'll try
to do O P T shirts all around, and if
we could, we could certain style Jack gonna.
Speaker 3: Be vintaged nineteen eighty three op T shirt new like
no cool with the surf stuff. Yes, no, that's number one.
Number two, they didn't show the shark right off the
bat like they did and Jaws the Refine. Yeah, is
the best story idea of this otherwise horrible mash of
stuff is they said, let's try to hide the shark
like we did in part one because it didn't work,
and then every thing lea Thompson and a bikini. That's all.
That's all I've got. I've got nothing positive to say
about this movie.
Speaker 1: Well, let's expound on that just a little bit. Okay,
because the shark it's hidden, and actually you get a
switch through kind of in the middle. You get a
plot twist if you will. The mother is inside the park.
Speaker 3: Overman was killed inside the park, the baby was caught
inside the park.
Speaker 1: Its mother is inside the park. Yes, but they also
do almost all of their diving at night, which I
think adds tension and scared the crap out of me
as a ten year old kid. Everything they do diving
wise happens in the middle of the night for some reason.
And the shark stayed in the water, unlike Jaws of Revenge,
which we complained about during the Jazz Revenge thing, right.
Speaker 3: And it didn't make any noises, it did not roar.
Speaker 1: It did have one kind of raw it growls, it growled.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I might I might have been nodding off
of that one.
Speaker 1: And then you do have the shark pov right, so
you're looking up at the water skiers, which I think
that's always good. Yeah, I love that absolutely. Wait what
do you got for us? As far as what worked?
I got a couple of things that works for me.
Speaker 2: The concept of the sea world being attacked by a
baby and mother shark.
Speaker 1: I think it's fantastic. It was time to get out
of Amity. If John mcclan's going to fight terrorists for
a third time, get him out of the airport, get
him in a new setting.
Speaker 2: Jaws does this, and I think it works. Moving it
to Orlando was it was a good move. The reveal
of Shelby's corpse I think was awesome, probably the more
probably the gooriest part of the whole movie that you know,
And it's a great jump scare, kind of a call
back to Ben Gardner.
Speaker 3: Are you talking about are you talking about where the
corpse floats up, floats up in the water. Are you
talking about where they pull the pull the sheet back
and he looks at the face, which one.
Speaker 2: Of those I'm going I'm going underwater Kingdom when he
just kind of floats into that little girl's perspective and
she freaks out and.
Speaker 3: Somebody smashes her face against the window.
Speaker 1: Yeah him, absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I'm gonna go ahead and disagree with you on
I thought that was terrible what it was like in
the original. You've you've got a completely dark black hole
and then just you know, it just reveals itself. Where
is this when you're looking at a bright, sunny, blue
tropical fish and this guy floats up? Uh?
Speaker 2: Well, I'm not I'm not saying it's it's better. I'm
just saying it's it's a throwback.
Speaker 1: It's it's a kind of a callback to Ben Gardner,
Like I could see what they're doing with that. I'm
not saying it's better.
Speaker 3: I'm just saying, listen, appreciate whenever that guy gets attacked
in the first place and the goggles float down and
land on on the coral, that's a throwback to Lawrence
of Arabia. But that doesn't make it good.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, Well, let me let me try a
couple other things I thought work for the movie.
Speaker 2: Keep going, Jeff, I'll hold him off. Lewis Gassa Junior
as Calvin Burchard.
Speaker 1: Come on, he is.
Speaker 2: He is hot off his Academy award win for an
officer and a gentleman. He's kind of our Mayor Vaughan substitute.
He's just having a good time. I love Louis Gossa Junior.
I know, I know we recently sadly we lost.
Speaker 1: Him recently here, but just the other day.
Speaker 2: Yeah, anytime I get a chance to talk Louis Goussa Junior.
And I know we've talked about him several times on
a film buy, I was just happy to talk jolls
three of you guys because I was like, here's another
option to talk lou gossip.
Speaker 1: I thought he was great.
Speaker 3: I saw something that had a drinking game rules for
this movie, and one of the take a drink moments
was every time that Louis goss said yeah yeah, and
then we haven't dinner. Yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: I I called Jeff today and I'm like, Who's dialect
was better Lewis Gossid Jr. And Jazz three or Jake
and Jos four. Come on you overgrown gold Bis, come
uncle jig oh Lewis Gosa Oh, it's GOSSIPR.
Speaker 2: I got one more thing that I thought worked pretty
well for this film, okay, which got Fitzroy's death.
Speaker 1: This is a chance.
Speaker 2: We've seen the shark crunch into into somebody time and
time again for the first couple of movies, and when
we go inside, we get that pov inside the shark's
mouth and we're watching him get crushed and crunched, and
he's gurgling and there's blood.
Speaker 1: I really liked that. I thought that was a That
was a cool, cool shot that the director gave.
Speaker 3: Us on this one we hadn't seen before. I have forgot.
I had forgotten that that actually was. That was decently done.
I agree with you.
Speaker 1: Can I say one more thing about uh Lucassa Jr. Yeah,
I think he's a shrewd businessman in nineteen eighty.
Speaker 3: Three, Why don't we blow it? Listen, listen, neft it's
two and a half million dollars turn bine.
Speaker 1: That's not gonna go up and smoke because of some
some some damn fish shut the pumps down.
Speaker 2: I mean, we gotta remember he spends thirty four million
dollars on this epic underwater undersea kingdom that it takes
four years to build thirty four million dollars in nineteen
eighty three, So I know that's a lot of money.
But for what he builds, man, he is cutting corners.
He is making some great deals. I don't know what
was involved.
Speaker 3: That's worth a billion dollars now, cutting corners so that
it cannot withstand a bump from a dark.
Speaker 1: Well, you got Dennis quaidon call. He got down there
and got a pass in. So get down there and
weld in the middle of the night and fix that thing.
That's all I got for what what worked for me though.
Speaker 3: Hey, Jeff, have you seen The Meg?
Speaker 1: Yes, I've seen both of them.
Speaker 3: Okay, is the Meg just I mean, is it blatantly
copying the ideas of Jaws three and doing it better?
Speaker 1: Yes, you've You've.
Speaker 3: Still got the shark banging into the underwater glass capsule
and breaking it. Yep. And you've got the surprise twist
of there's two of them mm hmm. And they pulled
that off way better in the Meg. Even though The
Meg is not a particularly great movie, it's still they
pulled that part off very well.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I've talked about the Meg before. Both of them I
think are just fun popcorn movies. Just it's a fun
summer popcorn movie.
Speaker 1: I don't want a lot.
Speaker 2: Just show me some cool shark attacks and let me
see Jason Statham do some cool stuff.
Speaker 1: That's it. But they did it way better than joll
three ever could. Hey, you want me to hit you
with what I think works? What works for you, Jason.
Since I'm the biggest fan of this movie, I guess
I'll wait for the end to tell you what I
think works on this. I think the premise of capturing
a great white shark and placing it in an amusement
park it's a great hook. Now, the execution is not perfect.
It don't necessarily stick the landing. But when you tell
me that this is what JOS three is going to
be about, there's a baby great white capture inside Sea
World and Mama gets mad, I'm like, okay, you know,
I'm on board with that. I'm ready to go.
Speaker 3: The pilot in the movie Alive didn't stick the landing.
This was as.
Speaker 1: I like that.
Speaker 2: There's a good commentary between Calvin and k about this
is an opportunity that no one's ever had, you know,
a great white in captivity. Think of the dollars as
opposed to fitz Royce, who just wants to kill it
live on television, and it's you know, think about we
don't have great rights in captivity. There's a reason for that,
and so I liked that they explort it honestly.
Speaker 1: Okay, let me. I want to talk about the cast
for a second. I think that they nailed a young,
kind of unknown cast early in the eighties. You have
a young, handsome, heroic Dennis Quaid who's playing Mike Brody.
Speaker 3: Hey, is this my all right? I'll have beer.
Speaker 1: And cocaine and totally fuel by cocaine, right, Yeah. I
believe his quote was there was not a frame of
this picture that I was not high. I believe it.
But this is right before he gets the right stuff
and then takes off. I mean he's in inner space
and he's Doc Holliday and all these other I mean,
he's he goes on to a star spangled career. After
Jows three, you have Bess Armstrong, who I told die
she was a babe for about fifteen minutes, and they
captured that moment in time.
Speaker 3: She was not a babe.
Speaker 1: She was she was a cutie pie.
Speaker 3: She was not a cutie pie.
Speaker 1: He was a cutie pie for about fifteen minutes.
Speaker 3: She is There's literally nothing sexually appealing about her at all.
She is not not ugly, but like she looks like
she should be in a high coller little house on
the prairie style dress and her haircut makes you think
that Mike Brody had a thing for his mom because
she looks like a younger version of Lorraine No, Yes.
Speaker 1: No from Jaws, from the first Jaws.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker 1: My take would be that she's hot in the way
that Adrian. She's potentially hot, like like think like Adrian
and Adrian from Rocky.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's the potential they share the same amount of hotness.
I'll go with you on that.
Speaker 1: There's potential there.
Speaker 3: And what is the deal with her kissing her boyfriend's
brother open mouth? I mean, number one, her kisses are
very awkward. They're very the every kiss that she delivers
is awkward. But the fact that she also kisses her
not brother in law, I don't even know what you
call him, but what and they do a little sandwich
of doctor k.
Speaker 1: Hey, here's my here's my brother, let's make up. I
just because I even watching this recently, I didn't really
pick up on the fact that did she know him
from a prior visit because he's from Amity, but he's
coming in from Colorado. He went to Colorado because of
the fear. The fear. Yeah, he had a he had
he had an issue with with the you.
Speaker 3: Can add you can add that to a very very
long list of unanswered questions as far as characters and
what happened with them in this story.
Speaker 1: I want to know I when you and your dad
walked out of the theater, when you got up that
there's a loudspeaker voice that was like, bother you guys
to your nearest can be in exit.
Speaker 3: No, there was somebody running around in absolute panic trying
to warn an entire part full of people that this
was the worst movie ever. He wrecked a golf cart.
He jumped into the water with his shoes on. He
had coke streaming out of his nose. A good thing
he did in a panic? Or use the enercom.
Speaker 1: What he used? What he had? He had a megaphone,
that was it and a microphone.
Speaker 3: Yeah, question that we can't answer.
Speaker 1: While we're talking about little brother Sean, he shows up
twelve months early for the Footloose casting call to play
Willard and I just can't figure that out. I understand
if you're going.
Speaker 2: To go to school out of state, but that doesn't
mean you become that state. He shows up in his
cowboy hat and his boy boots and his yawls and the.
Speaker 3: Heels of urban cowboy.
Speaker 1: There were a lot of folks doing that back in there. Okay,
he's an amity New York cowboy. There's another sequel that
we missed out on. Hey, by the way, I'll just
add to the Lea Thompson discussion. And she puts his
cowboy hat on and says, you don't swim, not even
with friends.
Speaker 3: That works.
Speaker 1: Well, you're doing anything.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So Leah Thompson, I didn't realize this is our
feature film debut. Abe. That's not what she told the
casting director whenever she had been in a few other movies,
like fluffed her experience, and by fluffed, I mean lied
about uh and I mean it worked out. She got
this part and then just two years later she's back
to the.
Speaker 1: Future Lorraine Midfly. Yeah, that's a great gamble.
Speaker 2: I mean, think about this eighty three. It's not like
you can just check her out on Google. I mean,
you're if you're not going to like the he does
you know the.
Speaker 1: Filing system at the library or calling around town like yeah,
good for her.
Speaker 3: And she had to have done I mean, all the
right moves was right around this time too, right after,
right after, right the very next movie. She probably was
able to get that movie by saying, Hey, I'm just
I've just been in the Jaws sequel, a pretty major
part in the Jaws. You ever heard of Jaws?
Speaker 1: I'm in that movie.
Speaker 3: Yeah, don't you want me for this movie? Before anybody
knew how bad it was.
Speaker 1: By the way, Jennifer Jason Lee almost got the part
of Kelly BATASKI. That would have been good.
Speaker 3: That would have been as frustrating, though, because with Jennifer
Jason Lee, I always expect to see her breasts and
this was a deliberately PG movie where they left all
of the breast stakes out resting three D.
Speaker 1: Midnight Swims with a Shark. We missed out on this. Okay,
anything else good to add to the list here?
Speaker 3: Hey.
Speaker 1: Richard Matheson and Carl Gottlieb wrote the script. I won't
hold that against them. Where they got it got hacked
to pieces, but.
Speaker 3: Richard Matheson wrote a script with Michael Caine for this movie.
What Yeah, I thought I'd throw you off with that one.
It's it was a guy named Michael Caine k a
n e yes nut but ironic not hogy, Yeah, not
hogy ironic. What happened with Jaws The Revenge? Different? Different?
Michael Caine?
Speaker 1: I knew one armed man who took him two minutes
to do the one on one minute wall was Come on, Ellen,
give it a kick? Yes, okay, Well, let's talk about
what doesn't work.
Speaker 3: Everything you can.
Speaker 1: Tell Shelby Overman for me, he can take a fine
leap and a rolling stonnut on a gravel driveway. You
hear any one to try us off? All right, let's
let's talk about what doesn't work. We've already touched on
this a little bit, but using the Brody characters, we
know that this isn't this isn't Cannon, And this movie
would have been so much better as just a shark
thriller if this just could have happened to some other
people at Sea World Orlando. We did not need to
jam the Brody lineage down down our throat on this one.
Speaker 3: So that doesn't work if you're gonna do it, acknowledge
it more than something happened to him when he was
a kid, and he's scared of the water. I mean, yeah,
if this is Sean and Mike Brody, this is the
third time they've gone through something like this, acknowledge that.
Don't act like it's they've never had some to deal
with something like this before. Bring up the dad having
to kill two great whites in their past and having
witnessed people being massacred, none of that. Why wouldn't you
go into that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, at this point, Michael has had two very intense
encounters with a shark. You know, he gets the scare
in the Bay, you know where they have to take
him to the hospital and Jaws. Obviously, him and his
buddies all get their smaller boats get destroyed at the
end of Jaws too, So he's pretty happy go lucky
about it, where Sean's just the dealing with some severe
PTSD over I don't know, seeing his brother almost get eaten.
So yeah, it doesn't work. Just get rid of the
Brody characters, that's all you do. Dennis Quaid could have
been anybody else but Mike Brady. That's one problem. Another
big problem. This shark is boring. And what I mean
by that is the mouth moves little, if at all.
We just get that same static, very gummy looking shot
doesn't really move its mouth, and the climactic break through
the glass scene it's it's basically it looks like a
cardboard cutout of a shark that's just slowly inching along.
Speaker 1: It's tear and I look, I get it.
Speaker 2: We know that's three D effects rendering to two D,
but that doesn't excuse the fact that even in three
D it probably did not look fantastic.
Speaker 1: This shark, that's a boring shark.
Speaker 3: As far as it's certain, I'm going to jump on
everything that you say here and take it up a notch.
So they I watched the making of I did. I
watched the making of Jaws three, which, by the way,
for the first it's a forty five minute thing. For
the first twenty minutes all they do is like live
shots of real sharks and scenes from Jaws one and
Jaws two. That's how little faith they had in their
own movie. But when when they did start talking about
Jaws three, they talked about how precise they were about
making sure that this robotic shark's mouth operated like a
real great white's mouth where the teeth protrude from the mouth. Good.
Why didn't we get to see any of that, Like,
we didn't see that one single time, not once. And
to add onto your you know, the phenomenally terrible slow
motion attack of the where they literally have the characters
scream in slow motion as the shark moves in what
appears to be slow motion. This is the same shark
that we saw just a bit ago keeping up with
the skiers on a set boat, Like, this is the
fastest great white in history, and now when it's about
to attack, it has to ram the window that is
made with glass that is supposed to withstand the pressure
of being underwater. It's moving at the speed of paint.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, just to jump on what you guys
are saying. One of the things that I don't think
works is literally we go from we think there's a
shark somewhere in the vicinity to the shark it's the
bumber cars, It attacks the skiers, it attacks the tube.
It's like terrorizing this SeaWorld park.
Speaker 3: For my positive lists, because I was really trying to
find positives, I was going to mention that they used
live shark footage in this. I thought that was a
great part of part one. The Valerie Taylor whatever her
husband's name is. Those guys had film stuff that they
used live real sharks, and that's great. They use it
in this, but for some reason they decided to speed
it up, speed it up or slow it down in
some kind of nonsensical way, which ruined the positive aspect
of using the live shark footage in the first place.
Speaker 2: I got one, I got one more thing, go for it.
I can go either way on a freeze frame ending.
Speaker 1: However, this is the most horrible version of a freeze
frame ending ever because we get this great, happy, mega
terrific ending where you got Mike and Ka and the dolphins,
Cindy and Sandy all waving at us with a big smile,
like the dolphins are even with their their fins are waving.
I just it's so cringe worthy. I mean, I'm just like,
and you get the shout all right, yeah, thank you
for the Mentos fresh Maker, because it's that's terrible. Okay,
we've already talked about what for me, what doesn't work?
I think the picture quality is terrible until twenty twelve.
The effects are awful. The shark on a railroad system.
The cardboard Shark cut out the money shot of the movie.
You can't spend a five extra bucks to make his
tail wag, you know, or something something make him wiggle
a little bit. The submarine going across where they're like,
oh yeah, Mike, kay, we see you looks like, you know,
a clash of the Titans effect or yeah yeah, very animated.
There's a lot of pointing and motioning and grunting by
the actors. Under the water there's a whole lot of
and then the dolphins versus the shark scene is cringeworthy.
It's ridiculous.
Speaker 3: On this week's episode of Flipper, Flipper Encounter is not one,
but two great white I got one more thing.
Speaker 1: I told d the end of the movie really worked
for me as a kid. You've got a dead guy
hanging out in the shark's mouth with a grenade in
his hand. With a grenade, yeah right, I can't get
out of my car without dropping my phone, but the
dead man is holding the grenade firmly in his hand. Okay,
With the dead man still in the shark's mouth, the
shark goes and eats somebody in the control room Yeah,
the nephew drags him out, presumably eats him, doesn't matter.
He works his way around the grenade, but just the
fact that the arm grenade is still holding it securely
long enough for them to pull the pin and you know,
blow the floating three d jaws at us.
Speaker 2: Can we just quickly mention the world's most difficult carnival
game because Dennis quad in scuba gear fashions some kind
of hook in front of the in front of the
great white shark, and then as k is jabbin at him,
we're gonna believe that he sticks this thing in the
shark's mouth, catches the pin on the grenade and pulls it.
Speaker 3: I get my ke, he's locked in my car. I'm
calling Dennis Quaid.
Speaker 1: Now, don't forget the World's Greatest drinking game too. It's
all about balance.
Speaker 3: So this is a real game. Like I thought that
this had to become something completely made.
Speaker 1: Up it and this is really to be real. This
is a real game.
Speaker 3: I literally texted you guys during this part, I'm like,
what is this phony maloney balance game that they're doing
in the bar. It's called standoff and apparently you have
to plant your feet and the objective is to make
the other guy fall down. I don't know if in
real life that it looks as ridiculous as it did
in this movie, but it is a real game. I
think it's more like something the kids play than like
grown ups play.
Speaker 1: But we used to play a recess you really, Yeah
it did. I'm bringing this back to all the pubs
I go to, Okay, and I do want to bring
up one other thing that I think worked, And I
just want to double down on what you said, Jeff.
When fitz Royce is inside the shark's mouth, for me,
that was nightmare fuel as a ten year old god,
it's one thing to get chomped and like chewed up
by a shark, but to be like swallowed or like
stuck inside the shark and you can't get out. That
scared scared me a lot as a kid. So yeah,
this is you know, Kay, lets us know this is
a thirty five foot mother shark, so very easily you can,
you know, if you're going to swallow the guy from animal,
this is no big task for the shark. I don't
think that was a scary scene, though maybe probably the
scary scene.
Speaker 3: Yeah, is it my turn?
Speaker 1: Yes, it's your turn. Okay, hit us with what doesn't work.
Speaker 3: So this is a story that actually had potential, right,
you guys have it out that Hey, this idea that
sharks invade a And when I told my son about it,
I was like, they're in this like kind of park,
aquatic park. It's kind of like SeaWorld. And then I
turned it on. I'm like, holy it is what did
they approve this? I mean they're all over this.
Speaker 1: What the giant commercial for SeaWorld. No it's not this.
Don't take your family to SeaWorld.
Speaker 3: I was gonna say this is the worst thing for
SeaWorld until Blackfish. My friend, this is this is terrible.
But anyway, they the idea that there's an invasion. That's
a good idea, but they totally they don't use any
of the opportunities that come along with that idea, and
when they do, they do a terrible job of it.
Then who's the bad guy in this? Are we gonna
say Lewis guys a junior? I mean he's he's the
most watered down version of the mayor from the It's
not him. And then I thought it was Rice Troy,
Like I thought it was going to be the guy
from Animal I thought he was gonna be. Yeah, because
there's this opportunity of okay, he's he's hitting on doctor
k and so there's going to be this animosity and
then maybe he's the guy that's sacrificed. Oh, none of that,
that total you. He's not a bad guy. He's not
a good guy. He's just a guy who wants to
kill the shark with a grenade. And that's a He's
a plot point. Yeah, he's not a character. He's a
plot point, but he's a character that could have been
and he wasn't. And then there's no tension between Dennis
Quaid and bess what's her name, I'm strong Armstrong. There's
no there's no love tension between them, but there was
a total opportunity. He's got this job. I guess they
need aquatic engineers in Venezuela. So he's got this big
job offer, and maybe there's some tension with her trying
to figure out, oh do I stay here with Shamou
or do I go with my boyfriend? And now it's
all just kind of yeah, okay, I'll go with you.
Well I'll just quit and I'll just go with you.
Then you have the entire movie take place in one place.
It's all at Sea World. Like they don't they don't
leave seed World, We don't go to their house, we
don't need any none of that. They don't go down
to the Bahamas. And yet I was absolutely confused as
to how this park was made up like it was.
I was like, I don't understand where things are. When
Viceroy gets eaten and his guy who's been this tough
as nails guy being That's why I said, pitt Roycevice whatever.
Speaker 1: Whos the Star Wars listeners will appreciate.
Speaker 3: When the when the Robert Shaw character that is his
best buddy thinks that he might be he starts bawling
like a baby, that guy, and he goes in some
random tunnel that I'm like, why why is he going
in this tunnel? That was this is the first time
we've seen this tunnel. And he's running down screaming at
the top of the water as though he has no
experience how sound and water work together, and he's balling
like a baby. I mean, it's just there were a
lot of opportunities for good things to happen that they
all let die. It seems to me they took an
effort to make this the worst movie.
Speaker 1: That they I do agree with you that if fitz
Royce had been a bad guy or doing something slimy
behind the scenes, that would have been a very satisfying
death to see him get crushed to death in the
shark's mouth.
Speaker 3: Do we even know what he was doing?
Speaker 1: Like, why was he here taking pictures? Yeah, he's there,
but I don't.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's there to just photograph the water skiers and
some dolphins and some other stuff. You know, watching this again, Yeah,
since brought the guy up his assistant who is really
attached to, uh, the Viceroy fitz Royce, he gave off
a real Smithers. He gave off a real Smithers vibe
this time watching it, you know from the Simpsons, is
he is too attached to to this guy?
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is the guy that punched out the guy
who was resistant to getting out of the water. He
was awesome, I am here to save you. Let me
hit you in the face.
Speaker 1: Guys holding a beer and he's in two feet of water.
He's gonna be okay. Actually, I'll tell you one thing
that that worked that we didn't mention as a kid.
When Leah Thompson gets knocked off the bumper boat and
the shark like gouges her thigh and they pull her
out of the out of the water and they lay
her on the ground. I was like, oh, my gosh,
look at her leg.
Speaker 3: I was like, well, my gosh, look at her nipples.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna redirect that.
Speaker 1: That works, It works? But what what doesn't work? Okay,
what the what the heck happened to him? Sean jumps
in the ambulance with her, and they're never to be
seen again. Sean gets eaten at the beginning of the Revenge.
Well that's true.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: The Willard stand in is Dennis Quade's younger brother. He
jumps in the ambulance. But again, what happened to her?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Literally, that's the most interesting romantic storyline of the movie.
And they just cut to credits without ever telling it's
no resolution. We have no resolution. I'm watching this movie
and I'm thinking to myself that this was supposed to
be a National Lampoon's story Initially. I really feel like
they still left some bits in there. There are some
moments where they're peeking around the corner. And when Leah
Thompson and Sean Brody are playing hide and seek in
the maybe two foot tall flag maze, I was like,
is this Benny Hill? What is this? They're prancing around
and I'm expecting a saxophone to start going.
Speaker 2: But when we're introduced to her character, she's clearly the
Marion Ravenwood of SeaWorld Orlando. So maybe they were had
quite a few drinks at the point where they're playing
hide and seek in that small netting.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm I'm here for it because you
know I'll follow her down to the beach anytime.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 1: So my question to you guys is number one, if
you're in charge of the Jaws franchise at Universal, what
can we do to save this franchise? Is it savable?
Can we save it? I have a three point plan,
but I want to I thought i'd let d take.
Speaker 3: In the last forty years since this movie came out.
I don't think this is a you can do a
sequel and do this franchise justice. I don't think that
you can't. I mean this goes back to the film
by questions at the end, you know, do you do sequel, prequel,
or reboot. To me, this is a reboot. This deserves
the character development that we got in the first Jaws.
But let's do a different type of storyline, same type
of shark. But and maybe you know, I don't know
how you do it. I don't know if it's a
past the torch kind of thing like we've talked about
with Indiana Jones, you know, Harrison Ford passing the torch
to a Chris Pratt type of guy. I don't know
how that all plays out. But I don't think you
try to go back and revisit the story where you've
got a non canon three that's terrible and a canon
four which is only slightly less terrible. We gotta We
got a text today. This is a text from deaf
Dave that we got today that said, I feel like
Jason and Jeff need to explore this movie. And it
was Amityville in Space, right, yes, And so I looked
at the at the IMDb for Amityville in Space and
apparently there's no trademark protection on Amityville because there's about
one hundred movies that are Amityville something. But in addition
to that, with the what you should watch if you
like this terrible movie. We're a bunch of like Sharknado,
Amity Shark, all of these other you know, Shark and
the Haunted House things. And I think the fear of
the Shark is something that you got to get rid
of because that really wasn't the driving force behind Jaws.
It wasn't the driving force behind Jaws two. What it
was was a man versus nature fight and a character,
the Roy Scheider character, Chief Brody character that hates the
position that he's in, but has a family to support,
in a town to fight, and he's torn and doesn't
know what to do. That's the interesting part about this.
And then the three men on the boat going after
the monster.
Speaker 1: That's it, all right, Jeff, If I'm walking into Universal,
I've got a three point plan to revive the franchise
because it is criminal that this franchise has been lying
dormant since nineteen eighty seven. In my opinion, it's a
money maker. We know that. So first off, let's focus
on new characters each time you do a film. If
Jaws is our Star Wars title, then we can have
Jaws the Revenge, you know, like we had the revenge.
Let's have Jaws, Great White terror.
Speaker 2: Whatever, you know, change up the film and the location
and more importantly, the characters. Let's see some different areas,
let's see different people. Leading to my second point, let's
change up the shark. It doesn't have to be a
Great White every time. The last time we talked about
when we talked about Jaws Revenge, d made a great point.
Why can't we have a bull shark? You know, we know,
we know Hooper has talked about tiger sharks and a threat.
You know, all these all these incredible sharks are out
there that are deadly, and we're just stuck on the
Great White because.
Speaker 3: Of its size. But you know, do a whale shark
do anything?
Speaker 1: Just change it because the attack of the whale shark? Yes,
but I mean think about it.
Speaker 2: If the title is Jaws, all these things have teeth
to sink into us.
Speaker 1: Let's see except the whale shark. But let's see, let's
see some different sharks in the water that are terrorizing us.
And uh. That leads me to my third point.
Speaker 2: In this this reboot, this relaunch, if you will, Matt
Hooper is the character that ties all the movies together.
We know from Jaws that he has been all over
the place. He's set to go out on the Aurora
for you know, twelve months at sea. Let him be
kind of our nick fury of the Jaws franchise, and
I think and just call and just call him Hooper.
So if he's just if he's Hooper, maybe he's Matt
Hooper's son. Maybe he's not, Maybe we don't know he's
a Hooper.
Speaker 3: I think you bring back Dreyfus and Hooper has become
quint in his character, like he's become the old angry
man who's witness nails.
Speaker 2: I would love that, but uh, you know, famously, he's
always he's always said he would never do Jaws again
without Spielberg. And unless we can get Spielberg to kick
off this new relaunch, I think we're we're without him.
Speaker 1: But that's that's that's my take. That's how you fix
this franchise. Love it, I love it.
Speaker 3: What do you go?
Speaker 1: Well, that's that's where I was gonna go. I would
bring Hooper back as the the krusty old seaman.
Speaker 4: Yeah, anyway, I want to pretend like that was unintenenal.
Speaker 1: I want to bring Hooper back and relaunch the franchise
with Hooper. I think that that would be amazing, first
of all, to revisit that character and then thrust him
in there. He's almost eighty years old, but he's the expert.
And let's we got to draw this guy out of retirement,
throw him on a boat. We've got a shark eating kids, whatever,
and Hooper has to come out of retirement. That's that's
what I would do, and I think people would go
see that.
Speaker 2: So if I'm hearing you right, you you're fixed to
the franchise is to thrust the semen back into the water.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's let's do this.
Speaker 3: Is now the time we mentioned the conversation that we had.
Speaker 1: I think we should. Yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 3: Well, I hadn't yet watched the movie. I still haven't
watched Beverly Hills Cop three, by the way, But I
just got to tell you this movie has its work
cut out for it.
Speaker 1: In h I just can't be don't put it out
of the running. I'm killing believe.
Speaker 3: The Beverly Hills Cop three is going to be worse
than what I just watched. But I hadn't yet watched it.
The DVD, the Blu Ray that I had purchased had
just arrived in the mail, and Jason said, I am
anxious for you to break your Jaws three D cherry.
And I said, well, forty years ago they did stick
it in already, and maybe just the tip. Yeah, and
he and he goes, well, I'm anxious for the shark
to impregnate you, to which I said, oh, you mean
the end where it explodesh yes, we're all thirteen years old.
Thank you.
Speaker 1: So you you're d You're thinking Beverly Hills Cop three
can't possibly be worse.
Speaker 3: I am thinking that it cannot possibly be worth well.
Speaker 2: I quote, I quote Mulla Ram when I say you
don't believe us, man hold out to Mulla Ram.
Speaker 1: Quote that was nice?
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 1: Quickly, Jeff ranked the four Jaws movies that we have
ready go best the worst, yep, Jaws, Jaws two, Jaws Revenge,
JOS three D. Jos three D is the worst.
Speaker 3: One hundred percent agree, hundred percent agree.
Speaker 1: Okay, it's been a little bit since I've seen jo
just two, so my number one is Jaws. There's no
way anything's better than Joss. My inclination is to put
Jaws the Revenge in the number two spot. Okay, it's
been a while since I've seen JOS two whatever, Josh four,
Jos two, Just two, jo just four and then just
three is definitely the worst, although I clearly love it
more than you guys do. I have nostalgic feelings of
summertime at the matinee, that type of thing. But Josh
four is way better than Just three.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is absolutely.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, come back next week once d has lost
his virginity to Beverly Hills Cop three. We're gonna hear
whether or not you think that movie is worse or
this movie is worse. We're gonna ask what the heck
happened with that? Jeff, you're gonna come back with us?
I would love to. Okay, Well, we're gonna talk Axel
Foley and John Landis and Judge Reinhold and John Saxon
and they have another movie set at an amusement park.
Speaker 3: Gone awrye.
Speaker 1: All right, we'll see you here next week. Thanks Jeff,
Thank you guys, see us soon.
Speaker 2: Just the right amount of history, just the right amount
of trashing it, just the right amount of hey, we
like this part of it, and lea thompss
Speaker 1: Nipples I mentioned, So that's a win.