Speaker 1: I just finished listening to the latest Dom and Jerry show,
Speaker 1: where they mock about with some new technology that allows
Speaker 1: you to change your voice. I said, I'd given a
Speaker 1: go myself. Let's see how it works. Oh good, heavens,
Speaker 1: it certainly seems to be working. But one doesn't quite
Speaker 1: have the time to be trifling on such trivial things.
Speaker 1: One has a great, big, bloody chimney that one must
Speaker 1: not to the ground before enjoying a refreshing pint of bitter. Now,
Speaker 1: let me just turn off this infernal machine. All that's better.
Speaker 1: I'll see they.
Speaker 2: Canishua, Hi, Jerry.
Speaker 3: Hello Tom. That's the old fashion. We were translating her
Speaker 3: here and.
Speaker 2: There, No I did. I don't want to press it, Hi, everybody,
Speaker 2: I don't want to press it. There's a new option
Speaker 2: after popping up on this lesson. It's voice translator. I
Speaker 2: have a funny feel it'll know we're taking the pace
Speaker 2: out of it, do you know, Because I won't sound
Speaker 2: even though I'm very good at accents, I won't sound
Speaker 2: like the zoom will got cut it out to fuck town?
Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean? They'll go so what
Speaker 3: you're telling me, And indeed the listeners of the Tom
Speaker 3: and Jerry Show. Where are you all keeping? Is that
Speaker 3: there's a button on your panel there that's voice translator.
Speaker 3: So you think that when you click that, you will
Speaker 3: start talking and it will come through to me in
Speaker 3: your chosen language.
Speaker 2: Hold on, I'll press it. Let's see what happened. We'll
Speaker 2: tell me what language are okay? Me, I'm speaking. My
Speaker 2: speaking language is English. What do you want? What do
Speaker 2: you want? Japanese? Let's do Japanese.
Speaker 3: Let's do Japanese. Okay as well, let's do japan early
Speaker 3: in the show.
Speaker 2: But I'm hi injur I canna there you go. I'm
Speaker 2: glad you enjoyed that. A little translation there, Jair, what so?
Speaker 2: Oh you're the Japanese show?
Speaker 3: Are you hearing me in Japanese? I don't like it? Tom,
Speaker 3: this is thrilling radio for everyone.
Speaker 2: Where is this? Oh? This is incredible? Sounds like you
Speaker 2: don't understand.
Speaker 3: I'm trying to say, where's the bottom? You guys?
Speaker 2: Stay nice? She got that.
Speaker 3: I need help, Tom Toms.
Speaker 2: Saturday Night by. You have to stop this. This is
Speaker 2: too good. He actually, Tom, he actually he raised his
Speaker 2: voice with you. Oh jeez, I just have to stop this.
Speaker 2: I have to have to stop this. Sorry, apologies, that
Speaker 2: was two children at work there. Mother of God.
Speaker 3: Well, I gotta tell you.
Speaker 2: I swear to God, when you listen to that back,
Speaker 2: You're gonna love you in Japanese.
Speaker 3: If that if that comes back across the podcast where
Speaker 3: I'm speaking in Japanese to Tom, that's gonna be very funny.
Speaker 3: If it comes back on the podcast where I'm just
Speaker 3: speaking English, Dorm's passing himself, that's something nobody else can hear.
Speaker 3: That's gonna also be hilarious.
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm the only one getting this joke.
Speaker 2: I don't know how the recording of this is going
Speaker 2: to see. This is this is the thing we do.
Speaker 2: That's we We just run with it. We didn't. I
Speaker 2: literally found that beforehand, or mother, that was exciting. I
Speaker 2: I do you know what, I do feel embarrassed sometimes
Speaker 2: because I just literally came off the phone just before
Speaker 2: this with my brother in law who lives in Central
Speaker 2: Europe and he speaks five languages. Yes, now he lets
Speaker 2: you know too. That's the that's the only thing. That's
Speaker 2: the only thing like there. I'd love to know more languages.
Speaker 2: But at the same time, I think it's almost like
Speaker 2: the vegan effect, you know, the kind of way they'll
Speaker 2: fuck can let you know like I was at I
Speaker 2: told you as I tell you I was. I was
Speaker 2: sitting beside the table full of Grailgoorers the other night
Speaker 2: in the restaurant, and they all spoke Irish and heavily,
Speaker 2: and they wouldn't even back it up for the girl
Speaker 2: taking their order. Do you know she's taking an order
Speaker 2: sixteen people and you're like, oh Jesus Christ, be me
Speaker 2: and my gas.
Speaker 3: I love, I love Irish and I love people that
Speaker 3: can speak it.
Speaker 2: But lads, you can wind it in. But we get it.
Speaker 2: We get we get it. You're better than us, we
Speaker 2: get it, we get it.
Speaker 3: We're trash people.
Speaker 2: What can we get?
Speaker 3: We're absolutely trash. Maybe maybe the young lassie that's taking
Speaker 3: your order, tell her that you want chicken and chips.
Speaker 3: Tell her you want wings as a starter.
Speaker 2: In English, please.
Speaker 3: Love the Hiking, Love Shaking play.
Speaker 2: Do you speak any other languages?
Speaker 3: I know of other languages, only the love language. I
Speaker 3: speak the language of podcasts and baby, oh wow, speaking
Speaker 3: of which we we should probably start doing a bit
Speaker 3: of podcast I mean, like, oh, you know, I love Gragnda,
Speaker 3: but we've been talking more in Japanese and Irish than
Speaker 3: anything else before we got into the show. And we've
Speaker 3: got a fairly big week to get into.
Speaker 2: So what do you think will we busted into it?
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's get into it. YEA, let's do it, buddy,
Speaker 3: let's get it. Get into it with a weekly what
Speaker 3: have you. This is a very complicated case, mad, you know,
Speaker 3: a lot of ian's, a lot of outs, a lot
Speaker 3: of what have you, and a lot of strands to
Speaker 3: keep in my head.
Speaker 2: Man, oh for fox, excuse it? Like we tried to
Speaker 2: steer away from these scenarios. Do you know?
Speaker 3: We don't like talking about the same thing over and
Speaker 3: over again? And if people listening to the Tom and
Speaker 3: Jerry Show down through the years and we thank them,
Speaker 3: they'll know we like to talk about a couple of things.
Speaker 3: We like to talk about robots. We like to talk
Speaker 3: the cars. I'd like to talk about robots again after
Speaker 3: a little while. And every now and then we will
Speaker 3: come all the way round to the sea and how
Speaker 3: we do not like the sea, and how, in the
Speaker 3: immortal words of Tom o'manny almost ten years ago, when
Speaker 3: it comes to the sea, fill.
Speaker 2: It into fuck. I got somebody very irate by saying
Speaker 2: that the other day they'd hurt it on the podcast,
Speaker 2: and they weren't fully sure of the context. They didn't
Speaker 2: know the long back story. They were like, what do
Speaker 2: you mean filling into fuck? I was like, filling into
Speaker 2: fuck begun, But there is no long backstory. Tom.
Speaker 3: We were we were sitting looking out of the sea
Speaker 3: and black rock. You pointed at the sea and said,
Speaker 3: you see all that. You know what I do with it?
Speaker 2: Yeah? But what I think the way they picked it
Speaker 2: up was like, just like that mid mid sentence in
Speaker 2: the mid podcast very recently where I said fill it
Speaker 2: into fuck. This is a person who absolutely adoors driving
Speaker 2: from inland Tipperary to the coast in traffic, in heat,
Speaker 2: kids sweating ice cream, stucks in the back.
Speaker 3: They're in heat.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well they're in heat, send stuck all over every
Speaker 2: fucking thing, only just to convince themselves and their neighbors
Speaker 2: that they had a really good time. I had to
Speaker 2: see you did, Yeah you did. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Well listen, if you go down to the sea today,
Speaker 3: you're in for a big fucking surprise. You go into
Speaker 3: the Pacific Ocean. Every now and then, folks like I say,
Speaker 3: it's just like our hatred of the sea is justified.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna read you a headline. I sent it to Tom,
Speaker 3: and I just sent him the headline and said fill
Speaker 3: it in to fuck and.
Speaker 2: For those and for those in the back. I'll repeat
Speaker 2: it again if we goz on the back. Okay.
Speaker 3: A headline in Popular Mechanics dot com and in need
Speaker 3: various other places. So we have verified this. Four black
Speaker 3: eggs surfaced from the dark heart of the ocean with
Speaker 3: alien creatures inside.
Speaker 4: Oh, for folk's sake, listen, I'm gonna just say a
Speaker 4: couple of things here.
Speaker 3: Tom, If you find a dark egg anywhere, leave it there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, live it off, Live it off. It's a delicacy
Speaker 2: in some areas, in some places, all right, jerdy to
Speaker 2: talk about it, you know they lead they'll use squeez
Speaker 2: ink or whatever, the dyeing egg. No, they found four
Speaker 2: jet black egg glactless egg things stock to a rock
Speaker 2: five thousand meters or five thousand met yeah, five thousand
Speaker 2: and five fucking kilometers. What are you doing down there?
Speaker 2: What are you going five kilometers?
Speaker 3: Are looking for?
Speaker 2: What are you looking for? What are you hoping to find?
Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Because you go down there and you'll dispel any fun
Speaker 2: myths like you found Atlantis. You're just gonna and find
Speaker 2: horrific things that are eventually going to end the planet.
Speaker 2: Do you know what that?
Speaker 3: Do you know what? They always say, like they get
Speaker 3: so they get so pleased with themselves.
Speaker 2: These marine biologists.
Speaker 3: They say, oh, actually, you know, we know more about
Speaker 3: the surface of Mars than we do. And I'm like,
Speaker 3: you know what, Lad's keep it that way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because they found these a type of flatworm. They
Speaker 2: call it a flat worm, which they say so strange.
Speaker 2: These guys normally live with much shallower waters. Yeah, did
Speaker 2: they live inside black eggs stuck to sorry, a chunk
Speaker 2: of wood that they found five kilometers down For the
Speaker 2: Americans in the audience, that's three point two kilometer or
Speaker 2: miles down. Yeah, no business going down there. If delighted
Speaker 2: that they found these things, let's bring I tell you
Speaker 2: what we did, Let's bring them up. Let's bring them
Speaker 2: up to the surface.
Speaker 3: It means not to nobody, but that's from my house
Speaker 3: to the Blanche Center. Yeah.
Speaker 2: You wouldn't walk it, as you You wouldn't fucking walk it.
Speaker 2: I will say.
Speaker 3: Whoever it was the editor on that particular piece because
Speaker 3: someone else did the same thing.
Speaker 2: Alien species inside.
Speaker 3: They had the there's a bit of the sequesce DSV
Speaker 3: about the whole thing. They're they're Babylon five people with
Speaker 3: alien creatures inside. What they mean to say is that
Speaker 3: the creatures are not known to live in that particular habitat.
Speaker 3: They are alien to the area, Yes they are not.
Speaker 3: What we would know is being extra terrestrials.
Speaker 2: Like if you find Jerry in Johannesburg exactly, but and
Speaker 2: he's going around going hey, you actually you know, like
Speaker 2: something would be.
Speaker 3: Up, but it SNDS like Sting in New York.
Speaker 2: In the same sense, I'd be fairly suspicious of a
Speaker 2: kind of a German Bridefelw I'd meet in Johannesburg two though,
Speaker 2: and he'd be.
Speaker 3: Fairly suspicious about any fucking egg that's five mile down
Speaker 3: down down in the ocean.
Speaker 2: Tom.
Speaker 3: To be honest with you, leave it there. God don't
Speaker 3: want you down there. Yeah, leave it be.
Speaker 2: Now, can I describe what Tokyo University of It's the
Speaker 2: Hockey Idol University. This guy's on the filter again there
Speaker 2: for I did so. This is I'm assuming he's a
Speaker 2: doctor or maybe at this day's professor where you lose
Speaker 2: your dr Oh, he's got a master in fucking go eggs. Yeah,
Speaker 2: because his name is Kii Kayo call Kako, So I
Speaker 2: mean ideal that, by the way, who co authored at
Speaker 2: twenty twenty four stood about the discovery in the Journal for
Speaker 2: Biology Lessons and IFL Science, which we've we've cited a
Speaker 2: good few times. I FL Science, Yes, we haven't. He
Speaker 2: I know, I'm I don't know. Should I bother down
Speaker 2: the accent because it's so good and am I confused?
Speaker 2: So let's just say it in my voice? Yeah, let's
Speaker 2: not say we did. Okay, No, I'm not. I love
Speaker 2: the Japanese accent.
Speaker 3: But the only love having a podcast. Tom look it.
Speaker 2: So he's out comes out comes, uh kaichi and he says,
Speaker 2: under a sterry microsope, which is a right small one,
Speaker 2: I caught one of them. Of course you did. Of
Speaker 2: course you did. And hold on, hold on to your
Speaker 2: Prometheus fucking underpants here and milky liquid like thing leaked
Speaker 2: from it. After blowing the milky thing with a pipet. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I found fragile white body in the shell and first
Speaker 2: realize that it was a cocoon of platty hell mints.
Speaker 2: Now has anybody I ingested one of them?
Speaker 3: And now the platty helmets are speaking to you through me? Yeah,
Speaker 3: give me salt water.
Speaker 2: Now, look at. I don't like to get racial on
Speaker 2: these things.
Speaker 3: Right, but I don't like you getting rachel on them either.
Speaker 2: I love all things Japan, but I've seen enough Japanese movies.
Speaker 2: I e. Kaiju, fucking Pacific rim. You name the version
Speaker 2: of Godzilla, I've seen it because a big Godzilla fan
Speaker 2: this house. I'm telling you right now, one thing shit
Speaker 2: goes down in the Pacific Ocean under the guidance are
Speaker 2: the watch of the Japanese. Yes, then shit like if
Speaker 2: those yokes are found between Wexford and Wales, I wouldn't
Speaker 2: be stressed if it was you know, dat feed and
Speaker 2: Seamus on a combined fucking craft brought it up and
Speaker 2: opened it up with aer let's have a look at.
Speaker 2: I just wouldn't be stressed. But whatever it is about
Speaker 2: Japanese scientists going at alien life forms they found in
Speaker 2: the Pacific Ocean, you know this story has been told before.
Speaker 3: Jar and not for nothing as well. If you're off
Speaker 3: the coast of Bikini atoll or any of them places,
Speaker 3: Like there is not for nothing a little bit of
Speaker 3: RADII active soup floating around in the water, So you.
Speaker 2: Know, SpongeBob is from there, for folk's sake.
Speaker 3: Like all you want to do is just like all
Speaker 3: your man wanted to do was just like hiccup and
Speaker 3: drop it on the ground and it just sort of
Speaker 3: pissed everywhere, like the green stuff in the rock, and
Speaker 3: it starts melting from the inside out.
Speaker 2: This is how pro media started. They all, yeah, climbs
Speaker 2: in through your eye and then before you know it,
Speaker 2: you've got, you know, an extra claw grown out where
Speaker 2: your flute was, and now you're trying to kill the
Speaker 2: rest of the lab. Yeah, like that's where it begins
Speaker 2: and ends.
Speaker 3: Yeaps, this is just Resident Evil all over again.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, Resident Evil all over again. Suffered, sweet
Speaker 2: suffern Jesus and delights with themselves.
Speaker 3: They are with They are delighted as as these men
Speaker 3: of sayings always are. They are delighted with themselves. Do
Speaker 3: you know who they are? They're like Miles Dice and
Speaker 3: tapping away in his computer, going like I'm having a
Speaker 3: fucking great time. We found a chip at work. It
Speaker 3: was a little broken, but God damn it, we're bringing
Speaker 3: it back to life. We're having a wonderful time. And
Speaker 3: then all of a sudden he's making terminators and ruining
Speaker 3: the world. That's what these lads are doing.
Speaker 2: Mm.
Speaker 3: So like deadly, we found like a We found it
Speaker 3: like a little egg, not where it was supposed to be,
Speaker 3: in a place that God did not intend us to go.
Speaker 3: And then like twelve months later, Japan stomped on by
Speaker 3: a cloverfield monster.
Speaker 2: Now this was another bit where it said unsure what
Speaker 2: these eggs were University of Tokyo Marines or a searcher, yes,
Speaker 2: and no Ricano who is at the controls of the
Speaker 2: r V at the time, I guess, and you know
Speaker 2: the deep sea machine claw machine to retrieve us the egg.
Speaker 2: She says. Although most of the eggs were torn and empty,
Speaker 2: at least four of them remained intact, and Kano sent
Speaker 2: these undisturbed specimens to a team of a verteber biologists.
Speaker 3: Grace okay, well, seen a movie before time. I know
Speaker 3: what's about to happen here. The mother is going to
Speaker 3: come to reclaim her children that you have stolen.
Speaker 2: Exactly what the fuck.
Speaker 3: Do you not have?
Speaker 2: Netflix? In Japan. Clearly not they have Jesus Christ. Like
Speaker 2: you've been making Godzilla movies since they looked shit, do
Speaker 2: you know what I mean? Looked like a fella in
Speaker 2: the paper Mashe outfit kicking over your cities and ripping
Speaker 2: down your pilons back since the sixties. And you can't
Speaker 2: see this how this one pans out Like if they found,
Speaker 2: you know, a strange looking platypus, they found, if they
Speaker 2: found a mammal of some sort, I go, all right,
Speaker 2: but you found clearly something that comes from an egg.
Speaker 2: Reptiles come from an egg, Dear Kaiju, come from eggs.
Speaker 2: I'm just saying, look.
Speaker 3: You know what doesn't come from eggs?
Speaker 2: Tom Koalas, Now you're talking, Yeah, now you're talking. I mean,
Speaker 2: here we are thinking. The scariest thing on the planet
Speaker 2: is the honey badger. Do you know what the honey
Speaker 2: badger does? Mind his own fucking business, wandering around the place,
Speaker 2: just eating snakes and stuff. These fucking bolloxes went fucking
Speaker 2: three and a half miles under the ocean to go.
Speaker 2: Do you know what?
Speaker 3: We need to give you one question, Tom, Let me
Speaker 3: give you one question and then we'll move off this subject. Right,
Speaker 3: So even all the way down to the bottom of
Speaker 3: the bottom of the world to find weird eggs that
Speaker 3: you didn't think would be there, and you brought them
Speaker 3: back up you discovered it was a mysterious type of flatworm. Correct, wonderful.
Speaker 3: So fucking what what now? What are you going to
Speaker 3: use that for? What's all that effort for. See, they're
Speaker 3: not mad at you, buddy, I'm just mad.
Speaker 2: See I don't I don't want inhibiting. I'm not one
Speaker 2: of these people that says, no inhibit all, you know,
Speaker 2: creativity moving forward?
Speaker 3: Are they are these cancer solving flatworms? Is this like
Speaker 3: a massive leap forward or is it just one of
Speaker 3: these ones where you're.
Speaker 2: Like, hah, look at that this you see they do?
Speaker 2: You know? This is now? This is if ever I
Speaker 2: saw it, shovel and fucking light into dark corners. This
Speaker 2: is the kind of stuff like getting the government contract
Speaker 2: to keep lads busy. Do you know they used to
Speaker 2: they like they land the gentry used to build a
Speaker 2: folly every so often, you know, they build up a
Speaker 2: fucking you know, an obelisk or whatever out in the
Speaker 2: middle of killed there somewhere, some fielding. And it was
Speaker 2: only just to keep the fucking grunt irish at work.
Speaker 2: Just keep them fucking busy doing something to be at
Speaker 2: That's all I'm seeing this ship now, they like they're
Speaker 2: not bringing it back up going Finally we found the
Speaker 2: holy grail of fucking you know, life extension.
Speaker 3: They didn't even they didn't even find something that we're
Speaker 3: looking for. They just kind of were like, huh, they
Speaker 3: were surprised. They were surprised as you me, to find
Speaker 3: the fucking thing.
Speaker 2: Do you know what these are? Now? These are the
Speaker 2: middle aisle in little Morality, you go, they went down
Speaker 2: there looking for I'm hoping they got funded to go
Speaker 2: down there to look for something specific. Let's try and
Speaker 2: find a new type of shark, some cool shit that
Speaker 2: we can just just tell people about. Oh class, what's that?
Speaker 2: It's an impact driver and a fucking black egg stuck
Speaker 2: to a lump of wood five mile five kilometers down here.
Speaker 2: Let's buy the impact. Oh fuck, you gotta buy the
Speaker 2: battery as well. That let's just take the four eggs
Speaker 2: there for not take the four eggs, and let's caut
Speaker 2: them open and watch the milky fluid pour out, and
Speaker 2: then some sort of tiny flatworms.
Speaker 3: Wiggle all over your fucking brilliant.
Speaker 2: Your egg guard guard dish, and you know we'll do
Speaker 2: We'll leave the fucking fridge unlocked that you put it in,
Speaker 2: and then wander on out, so that the unwilling security
Speaker 2: guard who's trying to chat up you want at the
Speaker 2: front desk during the night shift, is sipping a something
Speaker 2: coffee and as he does, and he's checking the bottom
Speaker 2: of it, and he's gotten three aces a big fucking
Speaker 2: alien tapeworm, fucking spike goes straight through the bottom of
Speaker 2: the cup and up through his fucking head. And now
Speaker 2: that thing takes the shape of him and walks out
Speaker 2: and steals a motorbike.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just just just you know, and then give it
Speaker 3: six months time. You know whose problem it is? Your mind?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, as night follows day, as the night follows day,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna get away from these fucking things.
Speaker 2: Seric Can I can I close off with one thing
Speaker 2: and that more? No one, No, it's quite simply my
Speaker 2: my closing statement as always when it comes to these
Speaker 2: kind of things. Oh yeah, oh yeah, you gotta, it's
Speaker 2: gotta be said. But filling into fuck, fill it into fuck.
Speaker 3: Yeah. If we sold March, we have t shirts would
Speaker 3: fill it into funck on it.
Speaker 2: We should totally do that. I bet a I could
Speaker 2: probably do that for us right now, filling into.
Speaker 3: Fuck an artist.
Speaker 2: I suppose you know, I'd sooner pay an artist atually. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's sooner pay an artist to do. Yeah, we've got
Speaker 2: any good artists out there?
Speaker 3: I tell you right this minute time, we don't have
Speaker 3: artists paying money between us.
Speaker 2: But I'll tell you what we do have.
Speaker 3: We have the next segment of the show where we
Speaker 3: stopped talking about this ladd and those lads and the
Speaker 3: other lads and talk about this lad.
Speaker 2: Now there's that guy and the high altitude.
Speaker 3: This lad and he had company.
Speaker 2: They hated hated a couple of prize ballockses here.
Speaker 3: Now, I am surprised that you did not like these people,
Speaker 3: because you know, I would have thought that there's like
Speaker 3: a level of daring do shall we say? But you're
Speaker 3: not the daring do no?
Speaker 2: But again tis like the fucking eggs of the ocean.
Speaker 2: What's the point of it?
Speaker 3: All?
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 2: You know the people that filled the people in there
Speaker 2: who were essentially they were talking about those two daredevil
Speaker 2: climbers from last week in New York City up on
Speaker 2: the Empire State Building. They pulled off a stunt, this couple,
Speaker 2: where they climbed to the very top of the radio antenna,
Speaker 2: the radio antennas I think thirteen hundred feet up in
Speaker 2: the air and now we'll speaking feet because it's America,
Speaker 2: and they do like you know, old fashioned measuring ship,
Speaker 2: so they thirteen hundred feet. This this couple who are
Speaker 2: who are?
Speaker 3: As? They report every now and then in Ireland known
Speaker 3: to the Guardy.
Speaker 2: They are known to the Guardian, but they're known to
Speaker 2: everybody these foxtair when you're looking at you do you
Speaker 2: might have known him? There? Angela Nicola and Ivan Good.
Speaker 2: This numb off right. They're not from Limerick. They're they're
Speaker 2: they're of Russian origin, these two, and this is their ship.
Speaker 2: He's a trained like they're trained. They both are trained
Speaker 2: Russian circus artists and they've been doing this kind of
Speaker 2: ship all over the world but with permission, right, So
Speaker 2: this was kind of the thing before they.
Speaker 3: Were in the second Yeah, there was there was.
Speaker 2: Like they had a show back, like there was a
Speaker 2: show made and a documentary following them called Skywalker's a
Speaker 2: Love Story.
Speaker 3: So these these are these are and a time oral
Speaker 3: tradition of people that would just climb buildings. Tom, We've
Speaker 3: all heard stories of the human spider and the fucking
Speaker 3: the French.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the French guy tightrope walking between the two towers.
Speaker 3: The twin towers A beg, pardon two towers is typing.
Speaker 3: He wasn't walking between barrad Or and sarah Man's gap.
Speaker 2: I'm above the ox. Oh that's both brilliant and fucking nerdy,
Speaker 2: all at the same time that I'm kind of happy
Speaker 2: and raging, And I totally get that he alienated of
Speaker 2: our audience.
Speaker 3: But it.
Speaker 2: Was a Lord of the Rings reference there, that's listen.
Speaker 3: Okay. So so so, these these people are known to
Speaker 3: the authorities for this kind of ship, and in their
Speaker 3: latest active daring, do they climbed up the Empire State Building?
Speaker 3: I have questions?
Speaker 2: Yeah, fire away.
Speaker 3: So I've been on top of I've been lucky enough
Speaker 3: in my life to have been on top of the
Speaker 3: Empire State Building.
Speaker 2: And they make.
Speaker 3: It to the average person completely impossible to go any
Speaker 3: further than the observation deck. Okay, so to get any
Speaker 3: for it, like, you know, because you can't just be
Speaker 3: fucking jumping off doing that ship. They circumvented all of
Speaker 3: this to get past the observation deck up onto the
Speaker 3: antenna and then climb up.
Speaker 2: The rest of it.
Speaker 3: Ah, they say they had no permission to do this.
Speaker 3: My spidy senses, tingling tom something tells me they had.
Speaker 2: Some little bit of a go ahead. They reckon well
Speaker 2: and shake deal. Perhaps what security security services have? I
Speaker 2: said that they reckon well, they saw the lock on
Speaker 2: the one hundred and second floor was actually broken, but
Speaker 2: they reckon They couldn't commit. They must have snuck in
Speaker 2: at the end of the tour the night before, which
Speaker 2: is where all good heightst movies, you know, which is
Speaker 2: where all good heightst movies begin, Where you get in
Speaker 2: the night before and you close it quietly behind you.
Speaker 2: So that's what they reckon they did. And then there's
Speaker 2: a hatch then up on the one hundred and fourth floor,
Speaker 2: and you can put at that stage is probably not
Speaker 2: a ton scure at that point because you shouldn't have
Speaker 2: gotten through the hundred and second So yeah, they reckon
Speaker 2: they got in the night before. But I was thinking
Speaker 2: the same thing because do you know what these do?
Speaker 2: You know what they are there? And this is not
Speaker 2: getting completely out the fense and closing it, closing the story.
Speaker 2: They were an unbelievable distraction for about about twelve or
Speaker 2: thirteen hours on American TV. And I'm always suspicious because
Speaker 2: American TV is crooked in every fucking direction. There's a
Speaker 2: week there was a weird amount of Ah, sure, look
Speaker 2: at do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Do you think this was You think this was just
Speaker 3: like key's key's being dangled in front of her face?
Speaker 2: I think I think they don't distract a cat. I
Speaker 2: think some Middle Eastern country had been fucking raised to
Speaker 2: the ground Cromwellian style, only with fucking nukes, or there
Speaker 2: was some new fucking scabby bill being passed. Do you
Speaker 2: know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Where that's miserable, They're going to steal the marrow out
Speaker 3: of your bones. Mitch McConnell had collapsed on the floor
Speaker 3: of the Senate. Yeah, carried out weekend at Bernie's style
Speaker 3: and point the fucking camera somewhere else.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: They unfolded the banner at the top of this tarror
Speaker 3: tom like. They didn't just go up and pass around above.
Speaker 3: And it must be said that these are this is
Speaker 3: a couple.
Speaker 2: It's a couple.
Speaker 3: They're married.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they are married and they're both of Russian descent,
Speaker 2: which is kind of hilarious in one way by all
Speaker 2: accounts that opened. I don't know what that open dialogue,
Speaker 2: because it would seem two days later Trump and Putting
Speaker 2: had a ninety minute call on the phone, So I
Speaker 2: don't know. You'll see crazy bustards from since Petersburg, the
Speaker 2: very good climbers and know, well, would you have to
Speaker 2: do any better claimber? You know buildings like I do?
Speaker 2: You know, it's it smells like the the the security firm.
Speaker 2: And this is what kind of throws me. I work
Speaker 2: for a very big security firm in America and they
Speaker 2: were they were called Pinkerton. They've been the old security
Speaker 2: firm Pinkerton. But this security firm just gonna put it
Speaker 2: out there. Their name is Doyle Security Services, which to
Speaker 2: me sounds more like a security services that look after
Speaker 2: building sites in bray. You know, now I'm not I'm
Speaker 2: not undermining Doyle Security Services, but if I know, Paddy,
Speaker 2: a few pounds, could you could turn on a plank?
Speaker 3: We're we're thinking kind of like the fixes in a
Speaker 3: little bit. The Pinkertons are a the agency that's hundreds
Speaker 3: of years old.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 3: And I remember in the TV show Deadwood, the only
Speaker 3: al Sweringen was afraid of was the Pinkerton's coming to
Speaker 3: Deadwood and fucking kicking off Pinkerton's no mess around even
Speaker 3: to this day. They unfolded the banner. They got to
Speaker 3: the very tip top of the antenna, and the unfurled
Speaker 3: banner that said, when the power of love beats the
Speaker 3: love of power, the world will know peace. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's nice rhymes, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean here's the thing, as you know, don't
Speaker 2: have to get too judge here, but like they climbed
Speaker 2: up there, they're giving it all the big one, like
Speaker 2: they love each other and all the rest of it.
Speaker 2: You put any other lens on that situation, and I'm
Speaker 2: not getting into it right but people will know what
Speaker 2: I'm talking about. But you put to any other lens
Speaker 2: other than two. Yeah, no healthy at white attractive white
Speaker 2: people on top of the Empire state.
Speaker 3: Banner.
Speaker 2: Yeah, on furling a black banner with white writing like
Speaker 2: my image media. I mean, you're just having a Toyota
Speaker 2: high looks at the bottom of the this, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean, That's all I'm saying, and called the
Speaker 2: prayer have been played over every they would have been vaporized.
Speaker 2: They wouldn't even have to hit the ground. They would
Speaker 2: be fucking vaporized.
Speaker 3: The snipers that are always on the rooftops of New
Speaker 3: York buildings. As a matter of course. Yeah, now, time
Speaker 3: I got a crackh on one thing, don't I don't
Speaker 3: like to correct anybody, but I got to crack on
Speaker 3: one thing. They are not a married couple, but they
Speaker 3: will soon be because they got engaged, full, full throated
Speaker 3: kneel down ring on the finger job while on the
Speaker 3: antenna up the way. You're gonna tell me that's not
Speaker 3: the case.
Speaker 2: It's not. I don't think it is the case. And
Speaker 2: that's why I was playing you down the down, the down,
Speaker 2: the down the avenue there, because did I not see
Speaker 2: her with a ring on her finger? You did know?
Speaker 2: They pulled up, they did the whole kneel down fucking thing.
Speaker 2: You know they would be mine? Ok?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 2: Did the whole thing. But some news station had cornered
Speaker 2: his out Ado who built libbins, and he went, yeah,
Speaker 2: let's say be married years.
Speaker 3: This is just this is just fucking sneaky, fucking Russian bass.
Speaker 2: This is just an ol stunt. They got they got
Speaker 2: married in see Petersburg years ago. This is just an
Speaker 2: ould stunt to give him a chance. Cause here's the thing,
Speaker 2: ger if anybody goes and watch the documentary on Netflix,
Speaker 2: you'll find out they've been climbing the world's tallest buildings
Speaker 2: for fucking years and they hadn't nailed the Empire State.
Speaker 2: And here's the thing as a couple of Russians, Jeno,
Speaker 2: I'm just saying right now, it's red hot. It might
Speaker 2: have sat too well. If the application went in to
Speaker 2: climb the Empire State, they figured they probably would have
Speaker 2: been shut down. And they come out the back end
Speaker 2: of it, you're saying it was just pure love. It
Speaker 2: was for love. We love you very very much. And
Speaker 2: the judge turned around with you fucking coupled the scullywags.
Speaker 2: I tell you one thing now, I tell you one
Speaker 2: thing though, only that.
Speaker 3: Was amazing that they were just like, yeah, mad.
Speaker 2: About the two after that, now that your two gas fuckers,
Speaker 2: look at you broke the lock, you know, breaking an entry.
Speaker 2: It was burglary, and you do a.
Speaker 5: Few pounds and you after pulling off one of the
Speaker 5: most disgraceful safety fucking violations, in New York City in
Speaker 5: the last couple of years, and you did accost the
Speaker 5: city probably a few million in in in helicopters, in disruption,
Speaker 5: having to shut down streets never around the place.
Speaker 2: Yeah, which you know what we'll do. We we would
Speaker 2: put you on supervised release there for a couple of weeks, LEDs.
Speaker 2: And I'll tell you something, the fucking very best to
Speaker 2: look at you and hey, I have a hat if
Speaker 2: you're looking to send out the invite. I'm just saying,
Speaker 2: you know, and I could.
Speaker 3: It's amazing because the only parallel I have to it
Speaker 3: is like you know, when you see these these lads
Speaker 3: for Fathers for Justice climb up onto the fountain and
Speaker 3: Trafalgar Square, I'm in a half an air their taser
Speaker 3: debates and pulled off into a wagon with getting the
Speaker 3: ship swamped out of themselves.
Speaker 2: Yea.
Speaker 3: And they get stressed up as because they want to
Speaker 3: see the kids three days a week again, get up
Speaker 3: and fucking do whatever they want. Yeah, we we we
Speaker 3: We like a scofflaw on the Tom and Jerry Show.
Speaker 3: We like this lad generally every now and then something
Speaker 3: just smells a little bit.
Speaker 2: Of it, does Yeah, that's where I'm at on that one.
Speaker 2: I I'm glad, I'm glad you picked it, but we
Speaker 2: couldn't and we could not talk about it because it
Speaker 2: was such a big story or whatever. But the reading
Speaker 2: of it at no point was anybody halfway suspicious, and
Speaker 2: it just read plainly as this is what they got,
Speaker 2: this is what they did, and this is why they
Speaker 2: did it. There was no like deep journalism went these
Speaker 2: two cons after costing the city millions, because to fart
Speaker 2: on a street in New York, you'd be guaranteed they've
Speaker 2: stopped traffic and everything around the building, like oh yeah,
Speaker 2: and you know, like that's Fifth Avenue it's on, isn't it.
Speaker 2: If I'm remember, yeah, it's near to all of historia,
Speaker 2: Like it's like it is the street in New York
Speaker 2: because main Street, do you know, like it is I'm
Speaker 2: guessing Amaze is like this, it's main Street.
Speaker 3: Shut that down. Even if it's like the even if
Speaker 3: it's the building that has like the the Staples copy
Speaker 3: place in it. You can't climb up on the roof
Speaker 3: of that either, No.
Speaker 2: And you can't because and not that not that they
Speaker 2: get like overly give a rattling fuck about you that's
Speaker 2: your own business. But it's what you It's not that
Speaker 2: you're up there, it's when you're not up there, it's
Speaker 2: and you've hit the deck. And who you fucking take
Speaker 2: with you? Do you know you're gonna you know, it's
Speaker 2: going to take a bus of orphans with you.
Speaker 3: You're going to take card out?
Speaker 2: Yeah, like, and there's two two little fucking absolute minds
Speaker 2: falling out of the sky. So you guaranteed for a
Speaker 2: few hours. But I shut the street down, divert traffic,
Speaker 2: and that doesn't cost the tens of thousands. And when
Speaker 2: you're in a city like New York, that costs millions
Speaker 2: because they'll be business is putting in for loss of earnings.
Speaker 2: Like if you have the Apple store and now all
Speaker 2: of a sudden, nobody's allowed to pass the front door
Speaker 2: of the Apple store for four.
Speaker 3: Hours, somebody's got to pay for that time.
Speaker 2: Somebody's paying for that, I can promise.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, listen, I'm going to tell you what we're
Speaker 3: going to do. Tom We're gonna motor on with the
Speaker 3: last segment of the show, which also involves a highly
Speaker 3: expensive wedding ring adjacent event in New York City. This week,
Speaker 3: it got us thinking, and it got us reminiscent with
Speaker 3: the final segment of the show we call We Remember
Speaker 3: When when I was a young lad twenty or thirty
Speaker 3: or forty years ago. Tom. Of course. The other event
Speaker 3: was Taylor Swift's wedding in Madison Square Garden, like not
Speaker 3: near Madison Square Garden. They rented out the entire freaking
Speaker 3: building and filled it with a thousand guests, which I
Speaker 3: gotta tell you, I don't know them all by name,
Speaker 3: but of the thousand of them, I'd say about nine hundreds.
Speaker 3: And they completely shut down the whole town in New
Speaker 3: York just for their own little weddings and muzzletob may
Speaker 3: a thousand blossoms bloom. I'm happy for the blushing bride
Speaker 3: and groom. Wonderful she is she.
Speaker 2: To become Taylor Kelson. Now is it Kelso or Kelsey
Speaker 2: Kelsey football? He is Travis Kelcey Kelsey Kelcey. Correct us
Speaker 2: in the comments. He's doesn't seem he seems to have
Speaker 2: taken one too many blows to the head, but he
Speaker 2: definitely landed on his feet here or marry.
Speaker 3: He did all right there? Yeah, He's famously elusive and
Speaker 3: hard to pin down.
Speaker 2: Taylor Swift. Well, if you're to listen to our songs,
Speaker 2: you'd be suspicious every time you fucking turned on the
Speaker 2: radio if you're the husband, like a here.
Speaker 3: What that's not about me? Is about me?
Speaker 2: How many fellows has she been with before me? Christ Above?
Speaker 2: Every song is a sad story.
Speaker 3: Got to get a ring on this quick here. So
Speaker 3: they got married, well done. We didn't find a home
Speaker 3: for them, Tom, in any of our segments, this lad,
Speaker 3: those lads, the other lads, but the weddins did pique
Speaker 3: our interest for the We remember whens because, like we
Speaker 3: say in the Tom and Jerry Show, we ain't fucking
Speaker 3: spring chickens.
Speaker 2: Baby.
Speaker 3: We've been around for a combined eighty to ninety years
Speaker 3: on this rock, and in our time there, we've seen
Speaker 3: a lot of things change. And one of the things
Speaker 3: that has changed down through the years to Tom is weddings,
Speaker 3: from the first wedding I was at in the eighties
Speaker 3: all the way up to today, including not for nothing,
Speaker 3: my own Tom. I've been at a couple of weddings
Speaker 3: and I've got a few thoughts. But you tell me
Speaker 3: you haven't been at that many.
Speaker 2: I haven't. I actually have. I'm the weird one, like
Speaker 2: the amount of times like I'll go every time, every
Speaker 2: time I go into my barbering care Keelan, he's off
Speaker 2: to adding another ages another. He's probably early mid mid
Speaker 2: to early thirties, maybe to like thirty four. I'm guessing right, Well,
Speaker 2: it's around that. Yeah, that's that, isn't it.
Speaker 3: I'm going to tell you the evolution of weddings now
Speaker 3: as as a as a as a as an Irish person,
Speaker 3: I want to say, like when you're young, when you're
Speaker 3: like under ten, you're probably not going to be invited
Speaker 3: to that many of them because you know, no kids allowed,
Speaker 3: you're too small for a babysitter or whatever it is,
Speaker 3: and all your relatives are gone to it. So you're
Speaker 3: either left at home with some baby you know, some
Speaker 3: distant cousin or some such, or you just knock gone
Speaker 3: to it. And usually that this wedding will be the
Speaker 3: last of your answer uncles to get married, whatever it
Speaker 3: might be. You get into your teenage years, maybe some
Speaker 3: of your older cousins will start getting married, or some
Speaker 3: neighbors or some such, and you get to a couple
Speaker 3: of weddings here and there. At these weddings, tom if
Speaker 3: I am any example of it. One of your cousins
Speaker 3: will give you a pint too many, and you won't
Speaker 3: refuse any of them, and you'll get fucking way too
Speaker 3: drunk and way too young of an age, and end
Speaker 3: up recounting the story on a podcast in a segment
Speaker 3: called My drunk is Dever. Into your twenties and your
Speaker 3: thirties is where your barber is right now, It's where
Speaker 3: all your pals from school, and indeed all your missusses
Speaker 3: pals all start to marry off.
Speaker 2: And you're going to go through a.
Speaker 3: Fairly cash intensive six to eight years where you have
Speaker 3: multiple fucking weddings left and right and center. And then
Speaker 3: you age up into where we are now, Tom in
Speaker 3: our forties, in our forty forty five, your own wedding
Speaker 3: has come and gone, and now it's slowed down. Maybe
Speaker 3: there's a younger cousin or two late in life baby
Speaker 3: Tom that's grown up and now they are getting married.
Speaker 3: Maybe there's a neighbor, maybe there's a coworker, something like that.
Speaker 3: But the weddings will slow to a hault for us,
Speaker 3: and then it'll kick off again with our own kids
Speaker 3: somebody down the line.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you really I can see nephews and nieces coming
Speaker 2: all right, starting to come through for me. When it
Speaker 2: was in any time I got I was at a wedding,
Speaker 2: it was never a cousin lash and it would seemed
Speaker 2: to be some uncle home from England or America or something. Yes,
Speaker 2: bosting auto credit card, blowing the fucking doors off the thing,
Speaker 2: and you're going, well, this this sell is buying happy
Speaker 2: fucking days like do you know? And you're going it
Speaker 2: always ended up being steaming. I always every wedding, I well,
Speaker 2: can I tell you about one wedding jar I couldn't
Speaker 2: get drunk at? I couldn't one, Yeah, which one was?
Speaker 2: It's the one one I ever went in England. Went
Speaker 2: to a wedding in England one time there and with
Speaker 2: herself and our family, a friend of theirs, beautiful manor house,
Speaker 2: tiniest bar I've ever seen, honestly got the booty your
Speaker 2: car would fucking sort you out better, And we kind
Speaker 2: of knew this situation might happen, so we loaded the
Speaker 2: boot with extra mahersal pines kens and couldn't. It was
Speaker 2: that dry of an affair. It was that boring and
Speaker 2: dreary of an affair there and this is not I'm
Speaker 2: not saying it's indicative of all English weddings, but English
Speaker 2: people have that came to my wedding couldn't wait because,
Speaker 2: as they said themselves, they'd heard the myth and legend
Speaker 2: of an Irish wedding. I'm like, oh, now I get it,
Speaker 2: because your weddings are shy, mostly because they know it's
Speaker 2: still too there. And I figured it out. If you
Speaker 2: know that there's a sixty to seventy percent chance it
Speaker 2: is going to be a divorce ince ou five years,
Speaker 2: why would.
Speaker 3: You put the effort in wedding. I couldn't get drunk
Speaker 3: at tom Go on my own because I was like,
Speaker 3: it's a busy day getting married. And I remember at
Speaker 3: one stage, I've been walking around with a bottle of
Speaker 3: Heineken in my hand for like an hour and a
Speaker 3: half and I hadn't taken a sup out of it
Speaker 3: to be over shaking a hand, shaking hands with some cousin.
Speaker 3: And now I have a couple cut this cake, and
Speaker 3: then I know I have to have to go do
Speaker 3: this and go do that, and you just seeing it
Speaker 3: and and like you're you're, you're, you're the main event.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean. So uh, And I didn't
Speaker 3: see it as a day that I should get shipped faced,
Speaker 3: but I could not get I don't think I drove
Speaker 3: through out that bottle more than twice.
Speaker 2: If it's any conscelationship, I got absolutely fucking slaughtered the joe. Well,
Speaker 2: thank you, Tom. I want to see the morning I
Speaker 2: was at our entire table. We're fucking polluted by the
Speaker 2: fucking before the desserts came out, it was mighty crack
Speaker 2: Well listen.
Speaker 3: So we've been to a bunch of weddings down through
Speaker 3: through the years, and and and and I'm at a
Speaker 3: stage now, Tom that I have like a wedding every
Speaker 3: two years or there. Right, It doesn't annoy me, but
Speaker 3: I do remember, fuck me, I'll tell you there was
Speaker 3: a stretch there and me Torty's were I think it
Speaker 3: was at like six weddings in a year. And I
Speaker 3: tell that story to people and they're like six weddings
Speaker 3: a year. Ha, I've been the thirteen weddings last year. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you say you didn't have that, But what you also
Speaker 3: admitted to me, Tom, it wasn't that you weren't asked
Speaker 3: to a bunch of weddings. You just didn't fucking go.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I just I put myself in their shoes
Speaker 2: and I'm going, do you want to buy me dinner?
Speaker 2: Because I think that's okay if you don't want me
Speaker 2: to buy Like, I didn't feel bad when you know,
Speaker 2: when you find out that it's oh it's a three
Speaker 2: hundred see you know three hundred in I'm like, you
Speaker 2: ain't got a fucking no there. Now, let's and I
Speaker 2: would send back and go and I put myself in
Speaker 2: their boots and I go. They don't fucking care. And
Speaker 2: a lot of my old like here's the mad thing.
Speaker 2: A lot of my like old friends they've never gotten married.
Speaker 2: Er yeah, a lot of these I know a raked
Speaker 2: dudes who are still still rocking it. I still you know,
Speaker 2: most of them moved to Europe or moved to Yeah,
Speaker 2: most of them moved to Europe. My too, brother of laws.
Speaker 2: Ain't never get married, you know what I mean, because
Speaker 2: like they've been they've been at the cliffage a couple
Speaker 2: of times. But no, I ain't never getting married. And
Speaker 2: it's I take my cap off. I'm like, well, if
Speaker 2: it isn't for you, what's the point in wasting your money, like,
Speaker 2: but that's kind of but I just I was always gigging.
Speaker 2: It wasn't just that I was stopping at home. I
Speaker 2: was always gigging.
Speaker 3: You were just like you weren't just pure ignorant. You
Speaker 3: were gone.
Speaker 2: I was. It just felt so many ways that I
Speaker 2: was just gone. And a lot of Antash's friends, they've
Speaker 2: like a few of them, there are more than one
Speaker 2: or two that maybe I should get these situations hooked up,
Speaker 2: but a lot of them haven't gotten married, or they've
Speaker 2: gotten married abroad somewhere. A lot of her friends more
Speaker 2: than not got married in Americas, and you know, and
Speaker 2: they you know, and we would meet them for what
Speaker 2: would be the Irish Day too, So I'm not really
Speaker 2: classing that as a win. It was just a pass up,
Speaker 2: like in other kind of way. A few of them
Speaker 2: are right, That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Tom.
Speaker 3: Now, people say we remember when, so we remember, we've
Speaker 3: been to a bunch of weddings, But we want to say,
Speaker 3: as we do on the Tom and Jerry Show, how
Speaker 3: things have changed in our forty odd years on this rock,
Speaker 3: and weddings are no exception. The core basics of a wedding.
Speaker 3: And for the purposes of this bit, folks were talking
Speaker 3: about a traditional Irish Catholic wedding, church, wedding, hotel reception. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 3: various other flavors of weddings are available to you as
Speaker 3: civil ceremonies, you know, humanist ceremonies. Tom, you could marry.
Speaker 2: Me if you wanted, I married somebody.
Speaker 3: I mean, you could be the celebrant that matters. I mean, indeed,
Speaker 3: these days I can marry you if I want.
Speaker 2: And do you know what, I wouldn't been over there night.
Speaker 2: I ain't mad at that that that notion be one
Speaker 2: of the best best wedding marriages you'd ever see. I married,
Speaker 2: I married a couple of last year. Forgot, Yeah, look
Speaker 2: at that, you could you did? I did? I did.
Speaker 2: I married a couple last year. Super cool.
Speaker 3: So for the purpose of this, but we're going to
Speaker 3: go your traditional down the line Grant wedding because that's
Speaker 3: the one that I've been to the most of I
Speaker 3: remember when in the eighties, when I was a wee fella,
Speaker 3: the very earliest weddings I went to cousins and whatnot.
Speaker 2: Those a tradition sliding on your knees.
Speaker 3: Wow, I'm sorry, I'm a wrong time. But if you're
Speaker 3: a young lad at a wedding or twenty fourth or
Speaker 3: ending in a hole that has a parqua floor cracked
Speaker 3: and with a parquet floor, is there any better crack
Speaker 3: then running like a mad bastard sliding on your knees
Speaker 3: up the floor.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you're never normally in trousers like that that
Speaker 2: have that lovely shiny polyester vibe going on, and your
Speaker 2: needs at five, six, seven, eight years of age are
Speaker 2: like the fucking t one thousand. You just grown your knee.
Speaker 2: By the time the night is over, I divided it now,
Speaker 2: good night and thanks as.
Speaker 3: A gas in that age, in that time in Ireland
Speaker 3: in the eighties, when was I ever on a polished
Speaker 3: maple floor.
Speaker 4: Never, It's not a possibility. Like it's never a possibility,
Speaker 4: tell you so. Threat weddings even to this day in
Speaker 4: the traditional as we call it Irish wedding, go to
Speaker 4: the church, have the wedding out into the car, go
Speaker 4: to the hotel. You will have a feed forst of pints,
Speaker 4: then be for salmon. The couple will cut the cake,
Speaker 4: first dance and away out the gap. But there was
Speaker 4: a tradition that seems to have fallen along the wayside,
Speaker 4: and that was the going away ceremony. I remember that
Speaker 4: in the earlier weddings that I went to in the
Speaker 4: eighties and nineties.
Speaker 2: It's it's almost the one that you think of in
Speaker 2: America with the ken's hanging back of the car, just
Speaker 2: married Tom. It's not like that. Is that, it's exactly that.
Speaker 2: That's that's a whole thing.
Speaker 3: That's that's not a thing anymore. The whole trope of
Speaker 3: the husband and wife get into a car and shaven
Speaker 3: for all over, and there's cans tied to the back
Speaker 3: bumper and they drive off with just married in the
Speaker 3: back window. I was there for that. That was when
Speaker 3: the bride and groom, at around about eleven o'clock in
Speaker 3: the evening would go upstairs get changed from their wedding
Speaker 3: gear into what was called they're going away out for it,
Speaker 3: which was much more, much less formal. It wasn't a
Speaker 3: big dress for the missus and it wasn't a suit
Speaker 3: for him. It was more cities, but it was still
Speaker 3: like a nice chassie set up. Yeah. Yeah, they would
Speaker 3: get hugs and kisses from everybody. This is eleven o'clock
Speaker 3: at night. They would get hugs and kisses from everybody
Speaker 3: and high fives, and they would get in a car and.
Speaker 2: They would fuck off, and that was the last you
Speaker 2: seen them.
Speaker 3: They were gone. They were going literally on their honeymoon
Speaker 3: now to drive from Monaghan or Tullamore or wherever the
Speaker 3: fuck it was to the airport to go away in
Speaker 3: a car was just married on the back of it.
Speaker 3: I were gone.
Speaker 2: I remember, I'd want to add that, did that all right? Now?
Speaker 2: It would have been I served at that mess. No, sorry,
Speaker 2: there were neighbors. There were neighbors here, and I remember
Speaker 2: they did that. They were gone that evening and I
Speaker 2: just thought I'd say the like that, just seeing the
Speaker 2: American movies, and they just drive off with the just
Speaker 2: marriage written on the back, and of course all the
Speaker 2: adults get on the on the rip, you know, there's
Speaker 2: like cheer them on fair place we're gonna. I'm not
Speaker 2: even putting on my jacket to say, look to you
Speaker 2: if that's if you don't mind, and just back on it.
Speaker 2: And then in in that time, neither you nor I
Speaker 2: did that. When we got married, we we you hang
Speaker 2: around for the party basically.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you you know, it wasn't that you left
Speaker 3: the wedding that night to go on honeymoon. You left
Speaker 3: the wedding, you probably went back to work for a
Speaker 3: week and then you went on honeymoon at a little
Speaker 3: later time, because it was just, yeah, how the fuck
Speaker 3: do you line all that up in one go? You
Speaker 3: have only so much leave in a year, you know
Speaker 3: what I mean?
Speaker 2: Well, the thing, yeah, the th and the thing is
Speaker 2: a lot of time you're it might be a flight
Speaker 2: to fucking Morocco or something you know, or or or
Speaker 2: out to the You might be going fucking I don't know,
Speaker 2: so somewhere to the Hawaii or something which you ain't
Speaker 2: going to get on the Sunday morning, you know, after like.
Speaker 3: Exactly as you think about it, there you're leaving karten
Speaker 3: across at eleven o'clock in the evening.
Speaker 2: Where you going?
Speaker 3: What flight was leaving any rate?
Speaker 2: So that's a tradition.
Speaker 3: That's not a thing anymore. The rest of it is
Speaker 3: fairly as I remember it, except we used to throw
Speaker 3: confetti outside.
Speaker 2: Where the speech is always so fucking long.
Speaker 3: Well, you know, here's here's here's the thing. Okay, they
Speaker 3: made everybody stop throwing confetti outside the church because birds
Speaker 3: were eating the making them and then.
Speaker 2: They wouldn't let them eat risier because the parently pigeons
Speaker 2: it will swell up inside in their stomach.
Speaker 3: And you're like, okay, what can we do and it's
Speaker 3: like it was like they turn around and go like,
Speaker 3: well you can get up and talk for three quarters
Speaker 3: of an hour. Yeah at the reception, nobody stopping. You're
Speaker 3: doing that, And everyone was like deadly, Yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 3: I remember weddings I used to be at.
Speaker 2: Tom.
Speaker 3: It was the best man got up and the groom's
Speaker 3: a big the best man and the bride's father two speeches.
Speaker 2: That was it done.
Speaker 3: You're good with it? Is it?
Speaker 2: And you know.
Speaker 3: That is not the case these days, And anybody that
Speaker 3: has something to say, they're more than welcome to get
Speaker 3: up and say it. Once you get past the two
Speaker 3: fathers and the bride in the room, you know, I
Speaker 3: think we're I think we're getting I can hear it, Tom.
Speaker 2: I can promise you jar There isn't one person in
Speaker 2: that entire entire room wants to listen to anything anybody
Speaker 2: else to say.
Speaker 3: Everyone don't necessarily need a sixth.
Speaker 2: We wrapped, We had the opportunity to wrap hours up
Speaker 2: at the drinks reception from the steps, Yes, and I
Speaker 2: I curtailed my father because I's not long winded, but
Speaker 2: I knew he could go on a bit, so I
Speaker 2: gave him three minutes. I gave myself two minutes. I
Speaker 2: gave herself father three minutes, and I gave the priest
Speaker 2: one minute. I was all done in under ten minutes
Speaker 2: back on the pines, and everybody was like, thank folk.
Speaker 2: I was like, there's more speeches that are no, No,
Speaker 2: everything's been said. We've been at a wedding. We've been
Speaker 2: at a wedding one time and we got sat kind
Speaker 2: of outside the reception hall because it.
Speaker 1: Horror.
Speaker 2: Horror. Family were so rude and his family were fucking.
Speaker 2: I've never met ruder people in my whole life. I
Speaker 2: was loving it because I love meeting general assholes in
Speaker 2: the wild. To the point that that we're going on
Speaker 2: now into our and twenty minute mark, right hour and
Speaker 2: twenty minute marks rough, and I was I've been shaking
Speaker 2: my glass at a chap. I don't know. He kept
Speaker 2: ignoring me anyway, So I wondered, went for a wander
Speaker 2: through this manor house and found a small little bar
Speaker 2: where the actual owner of the building was there. Lovely
Speaker 2: MANU went, would you like to taste the new sider
Speaker 2: that I've just made. I'm not selling it, I went,
Speaker 2: How strong is? He went? I don't know? So I
Speaker 2: came back to the table half an hour later, almost
Speaker 2: ready to piss my own hants, but to prove my
Speaker 2: point that I'd done the right thing and missing out
Speaker 2: on the father of the bride, or that we were
Speaker 2: both washing our hands in the bathroom about an hour
Speaker 2: later and there was napkins, you know, fancy napkins that yeah,
Speaker 2: rather than a hand drier. And he didn't look at me.
Speaker 2: He just looked up, looked at himself in the mirror
Speaker 2: and were boat washing her hands. Look in the mirror.
Speaker 2: He shook off his hand and then did this to
Speaker 2: me without looking at me. He clicked his fingers at
Speaker 2: me and then beckoned with his like index and middle finger,
Speaker 2: passed me on like I worked there, shit, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: best to look brother, I'm off for more. Enjoy the
Speaker 2: rest of the special days. Oh my god. But it
Speaker 2: wasn't based on purely that, but I was kind of like, okay,
Speaker 2: maybe maybe family members of other things but I genuinely
Speaker 2: think and I'm a stand up I know it's my time,
Speaker 2: Like do you know what I mean? I pride myself
Speaker 2: and known they're not what the what am I going
Speaker 2: to get in the way of the chocolate fountain over
Speaker 2: there and pints? No, I'm just gonna thank them all.
Speaker 2: The old Man did a kind of his own parody
Speaker 2: on the on the watch on the the All Ireland
Speaker 2: acceptance speech.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that was it, and that was remember that
Speaker 3: was the thing in the speech is Tom and this
Speaker 3: and this might still happen today, but I haven't seen
Speaker 3: it in a long time. Was someone would get up
Speaker 3: and rather than make a speech, it was their job
Speaker 3: to read out wedding cards from people that wanted to
Speaker 3: be there but couldn't. So and Anti Josie in Canada
Speaker 3: sense of regards and Uncle Seamus in fucking Fatima senses regards.
Speaker 3: And I think at once say someone just said, like
Speaker 3: you know who cares?
Speaker 2: Were good?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know so that things like this just
Speaker 2: kind of fell off.
Speaker 3: I'll give you one time, as we rock and roll
Speaker 3: through the last segment of the Tom and Jerry Show,
Speaker 3: I remember when we remember when that's the name of
Speaker 3: this segment. We remember when weddings were a one day
Speaker 3: affair or my friend yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, I don't
Speaker 3: know how I feel exactly about about the two day
Speaker 3: wedding or the multi day wedding. I understand that there's
Speaker 3: a lot of people have their civil ceremony and they
Speaker 3: bring their nearest and dearest with them to that if
Speaker 3: they do it all, and then they have a second
Speaker 3: day elsewhere as the wedding wedding. Yeah, like the reception
Speaker 3: doesn't take place on the same day as a wedding.
Speaker 3: Lovely not what I grew up with, but seems like
Speaker 3: a good bit of crack. But there are other weddings
Speaker 3: that are just a traditional wedding wedding and then an
Speaker 3: entirely separate day tacked onto it. And I'm not mad
Speaker 3: at it, Tom, I'm not mad at it, particularly sometimes
Speaker 3: particularly when we had when we had the kids and
Speaker 3: there were and you weren't bringing kids to things, you
Speaker 3: couldn't go to the wedding together. So I'd let herself
Speaker 3: go to the wedding on the wedding day and then
Speaker 3: I'd go to the day.
Speaker 2: To Yeah, no, I get it. The session afterwards, I
Speaker 2: totally get.
Speaker 3: It, like and and and yeah, you know, I hate,
Speaker 3: I hate to say it all worked out for me,
Speaker 3: but herself got to go and hear the speeches and
Speaker 3: the mass, and I got to go to the all
Speaker 3: day session. Yeah, in an and it comes from a
Speaker 3: pair of shorts. Maybe if it's in a pair of
Speaker 3: genes where there was at the barbecue.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, some rebelman playing over in the corner. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So I'm not entirely mad at I'm mad at it,
Speaker 3: but I gotta tell you it's one of the other.
Speaker 2: It's one of the other. I'm not going to two days, buddy,
Speaker 2: But that's it.
Speaker 3: One day of your two day wedding.
Speaker 2: You have three you've kind of three setups there. You
Speaker 2: have the the main church, then you the the afters
Speaker 2: and sometimes you know, you only go to the afters
Speaker 2: there were, yeah, and then now there's the day too,
Speaker 2: and you're like, bring so many.
Speaker 3: To the church, to the church, and so many to
Speaker 3: the after and so many to the to the to
Speaker 3: the late at night.
Speaker 2: Bitch.
Speaker 3: I remember that used to be another thing as well.
Speaker 3: It was like, okay, so many to the church, add
Speaker 3: another fifty when we get to the reception, and after
Speaker 3: that everybody I ever drove past the road as well
Speaker 3: to come.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Speaker 3: The the I've been a weddings where it was like
Speaker 3: every single human being I've ever clappedized on is invited
Speaker 3: to the dinner of it.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, God, damn Jesus. Yeah, yeah, I've been
Speaker 2: to a few and You're like, there was five hundred
Speaker 2: people at this. What's you know, like you're hoping to
Speaker 2: build a house out of this?
Speaker 3: What the fuck it's I don't I don't think I
Speaker 3: could name five hundred people if I added wrestlers.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And the last thing, last thing I'm going to say
Speaker 3: on the subject, Tom and you you glanced on it,
Speaker 3: then there earlier we remember when weddings took place in
Speaker 3: the parish that you were, you were living in this
Speaker 3: crack of deciding that you were going to have your
Speaker 3: wedding in uh.
Speaker 2: A destination location.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, and then everybody would go with you to
Speaker 3: it is as alien to me as four glowing black
Speaker 3: eggs brought up from the Japanese.
Speaker 2: See the sister did a to a two hander. They
Speaker 2: got married in Florence. Do you know what, though they
Speaker 2: have a lot of European based friends. But it worked
Speaker 2: out well as a holiday because you could go worse
Speaker 2: places for a week than Florence.
Speaker 3: Well this is and I'd love to go for Florence
Speaker 3: on my own time. Yeah, if you invite me to
Speaker 3: a wedding and it's and I have to get a
Speaker 3: flight to go to it, let me tell you mine
Speaker 3: is one of the cards they'll be reading out at
Speaker 3: the ceremony, regards from Jerry McBride who couldn't make it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there is an element of what the fuck and
Speaker 2: worse again, we got one and it was guessed because
Speaker 2: we actually got one at the same time here in Ireland,
Speaker 2: and it was to go I won't say where, but
Speaker 2: I'm sure as fuck would never go there on the holiday.
Speaker 2: Do you get me like like there was there was?
Speaker 2: It was been mooded there recently about going to Florida
Speaker 2: for our wedding. I'm like Jesus Christ miss missed mortgage
Speaker 2: payment at that pint.
Speaker 3: I actually as as you mentioned, as you mentioned, I've
Speaker 3: been to one destination wedding, but this was within the
Speaker 3: closest niche of the family circle. Okay, Yeah, if it's
Speaker 3: some lad that I used to work with, is getting
Speaker 3: married in the south of France. He's getting married there.
Speaker 3: I'm not taking a day off work for that, but
Speaker 3: I'm not using up a day annually leaving that. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: I don't think, yeah, I don't. I don't think anybody's
Speaker 2: going to get now we we well, it wasn't a
Speaker 2: destination we got married to kind of to soften the
Speaker 2: cough of everybody. We got married on just we got
Speaker 2: married on the Cork Road. Basically we got married just
Speaker 2: off them eight So that was equidition.
Speaker 3: That was fair to everybody, you know, it was.
Speaker 2: It was for the Dublin people and for the Tipperary people,
Speaker 2: and it was it worked out easy for everybody to
Speaker 2: get to. But even still the twos like is this
Speaker 2: all right to get back because we're neither one of
Speaker 2: from here, like you know, But then you know, it
Speaker 2: wasn't exactly the most you know, sanctimonious affair when you're
Speaker 2: getting When I got a spin to the church in
Speaker 2: the A team, then laying the eighteen music as a
Speaker 2: trove up to the fucking georch, I'm pretty sure the
Speaker 2: priest is like, what the fuck is this.
Speaker 3: The and and there we go, ladies and gentlemen. Weddings
Speaker 3: have changed down through the years and many many different ways,
Speaker 3: means and otherwise.
Speaker 2: Here's one. Well, here's one for me that I did
Speaker 2: that I benefited from. In the old days as an
Speaker 2: auto boy, I used to get twenty crisp pounds into
Speaker 2: my hand. Nice for serving that a wedding. Now I
Speaker 2: put on a show. I won't lie.
Speaker 3: I look to you, bang that gun, baby.
Speaker 2: The best vestments would be out. It was game like,
Speaker 2: it was game time. We don't we'd have a pep
Speaker 2: talk beforehand, like and this wasn't that's not for the
Speaker 2: middle here, lads, this wasn't. This wasn't you know, a
Speaker 2: midweek fixture like this was Super Saturday like you know,
Speaker 2: I mean, this is what you're trained for. This is
Speaker 2: where we bring it. You know, this is game six
Speaker 2: like we're it's it's I mean, you can bow out
Speaker 2: now if you're not ready for the big time, loise,
Speaker 2: but it's time to fucking eat nerves and shit results.
Speaker 2: Get out there, and a crisp twenty pound note we
Speaker 2: put into my hand. I kept not getting booked, kept
Speaker 2: on getting booked. It was like, this kid is fucking magic,
Speaker 2: looks creating the photos wearing fucking snow white vestments, knows
Speaker 2: where to stand, knows where to stand, knows who not
Speaker 2: to stand in front of. You know, just just saying,
Speaker 2: And you never see an autoboile or not a girl anymore,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean? You just don't see him anymore.
Speaker 2: And I think to be you just don't. Nobody's giving
Speaker 2: it a go anymore.
Speaker 3: And I wonder what would have happened in the nineties
Speaker 3: they kind of got paid all that time. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't know, all right, I guess.
Speaker 3: And if you want to hear about that other episode,
Speaker 3: you're going to need to follow the Tom and Jerry
Speaker 3: Show on our social media channels. You can find us
Speaker 3: on Instagram at Tom and Jerry. Tom would a he
Speaker 3: Jerry with a G or over on Blue Sky. You'll
Speaker 3: find me at Jerry McBride. His haunt of choice is
Speaker 3: Tom Underscore omany over on Instagram. What else do we
Speaker 3: want these ladies and gentlemen to do this?
Speaker 2: Just go ahead hit subscribe right now. If you haven't
Speaker 2: done it, do it. And you're five star and us
Speaker 2: left right and centerl So we're we're rocking the five stars.
Speaker 2: And you could do especially over on the soceials. It's
Speaker 2: much easier to see it if you would leave it. Come,
Speaker 2: let us know what your experiences have weddings gone by.
Speaker 2: If you've been saying a couple of weddings, listen to
Speaker 2: this wedding. Maybe you're at our weddings, who knows, but
Speaker 2: if you do, let let us know. If you're in
Speaker 2: agreement that that nasty shape at the bottom of the
Speaker 2: ocean state a fuck down there, or if you think
Speaker 2: it's a great idea that might further further humanity, let
Speaker 2: us know in the comments. Ju I'm feeling fresh in myself.
Speaker 2: I'm not overly sweating because I managed to keep the
Speaker 2: curtains closed in this room all day, which is one
Speaker 2: smart thing I did today. There you go. Yeah, that
Speaker 2: was awesome.
Speaker 3: Thank you very much, Thank you, Tom.
Speaker 2: Canish you on