Speaker 1: To do.
Speaker 2: I've never wanted people to come into my presence and
feel like they got to be this. You know, I
want people to feel comfortable, because really being comfortable is luxury, right,
Being comfortable and being able to be yourself is luxury.
It's not the thing, you know, it's not an item,
it's not purchasable, right. Those things can help you feel
happy in moments. But I always felt like when I
was around certain people that I felt were successful or whatever,
they made me feel so seen. You know, they were
like what you want to eat? You know, let's go here.
It was just they were so they made me feel
comfortable in who I am, and so I think those
are things that I've always tried to identify with to
then push out to people that are connected to me.
Speaker 3: Hey, y'all, welcome back to Dear to Sea. We are
jumping right into it. We have some subscription reminders. Follow
Dear to See You on Apple Music and Spotify. Leave
us a five star review. We want you to subscribe
to relationship, restore the YouTube channel, and also subscribe to
my YouTube channel which is under to Sea XBS twenty
and we are trying to get to ten k subscribers.
Speaker 1: Okay, keep it, Tea.
Speaker 3: We are trying to get to ten k subscribers and
I know that we can do it. And my birthday
is coming up April twentio. So now y'all meet my
new year ago, my October go, or my new year go.
But hopefully y'all can meet my birthday go. I mean,
if y'all really love me, we will. So we want
to introduce our guest of the show, who is mister
Ron David. Okay, so I always tell how I met
the guests of the show. And I first went to
Ron David's studio as a content creator, so that was
one thing, and I remember us, I have to send
you this picture, Roo, we took this picture together. But
let me say one thing about me is that I
observed energy and people, and I was following you already
even before I went to the Ron David studio, because
I felt like you were like one of the it
guys in DC, Like I felt like people were, like,
you know, just talking about it. I saw a lot
of fashion shows and pieces that people were wearing, and
so I had already been following him, and then I
felt like like I met you, and it kind of
just humanized you.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, he seemed.
Speaker 3: To just have like really good energy. So I kind
of been like stalking Ron for a while, and then
I came to like a couple of his events. He
probably like, who is this girl? I'm like, we're friends,
and you don't even know that we are friends. So
basically I've been stalking Ron for forever and we are
We're growing in friendship on benow stamp. Do you want
to describe yourself? What would you like the world to
know about you? Who is Ron David?
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, that's such a good question. I am.
I am a regular guy who am not afraid to
chase my dreams. Yeah, yeah, that's me. I'm a regular
guy that has had these childhood visions of what I
wanted my life to be and I was just never
afraid to go after it. And that's what people are
seeing today is the result of that.
Speaker 3: Wow, and it's somebody who is a like being a
dream chaser is so a part of my DNA, Like
I have always been a big dreamer and I like
to be around I like to be around people like
that because you've ever seen that real was like, don't
call me and asked me should you buy something? Because
I'm always tell you to buy it right, And I
just love that, Like if you call me and say, like,
what do you think if I was to start this cafe,
do you yes, you should? You know, and we can
brainstorm and talk about the logistics of it. But I
love to just feed a dream. And I remember when
I came to your, uh your panel at the Gathering
Spot and it was you Tyrone who was Beyonce style?
Speaker 2: It was a k h K Davenport.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Ka Davenport was on there, and you talked a
lot about being a dreamer and being really successful in
real estate. And I don't think that people know those
like layereds to you. Who do you think that people
think you are.
Speaker 2: I think people think I am like, like I don't
say materialistic, but they think I'm like a luxury worshiper,
like I just love like luxury. Like I think people
attach that to me. I think people think like I'm
this rich black boy, you know. And what people don't
know is that everything that I have I did not
come from a wealthy family. I did not come from
the black elite, like my mom was out a college graduate.
I think My sister was the first person in my
nuclear family to graduate from college. She went to Spellman
and of course I went to Howard University. Shout out
to the hu, you know. But it's that, like I
think people don't know that about me, You know that,
like I really materialize this world of mine, you know,
over the years by just kind of like having this
vision of it.
Speaker 3: Don't you think that that is a testament to how
you carry yourself. I hope so that people think that
you've come from well to do, But I think that
that's just a testament to how you carry yourself. Like
you do give like classy upper echelon, but I think
that you also like make everybody feel important, safe and seen.
Like I think you have just like great cadence and
rapport with people. And I think that that's just a
testament to no matter what what you're wearing, no matter
what you have on. I think that class is a
way of life, is how you treat people. It's elegance
and also too, it's education, is exposure, it's cultural experiences,
and that is like the biggest equalizes or like I
may not be able to go toe to toe like
you said, I may not be able to buy that
house in cash, you know, but you.
Speaker 2: Know I'm gonna take good care of it.
Speaker 3: I would take to have it.
Speaker 2: Yes, But you know, I think that's such a tea
that you just said, because I had my mom had
a friend that was really wealthy when we were growing up,
and what I liked about them was that they were
so themselves. And I think as I have grown up
and been around now around people that have been successful
in business and been successful and with their finances and
different things that they've done, is the individuality of it. Yes,
And I think that was something that I think that
would be another secret about me is that I'm very
much a studyer of life and people, Like I'm very
much observant of like what's really happening, Like I'm not
really interested in trying to see like the smoke of
it all, Like I want to understand what's the what
is the white meat of this?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: And I think in my childhood, because I didn't have
certain things, I didn't feel like I was was, you know,
what everybody was doing, it made me really want to
study what are these success factors of sorts? Like what
what are the what is the DNA of people that
I felt like were thriving, and they were always individuals.
They were themselves, they liked what they like.
Speaker 1: You.
Speaker 2: I remember my mom had this friend who like, we
went to see them in Atlanta. She had this big,
this big, big house, and she was bab and like
they had no My mom had on her for years,
and she was like, you know, she was showing us
all these Louis Baton bags that they was like stacked up,
and she was like, some of these is real, and
someone them was a fake. You know what I'm saying.
It was like it kind of tickled me because it's like,
we know you got the coins, you know, you don't
have to we got the receipts, you know. But it
was the individuality of them being so comfortable in their
skin that I believe that was a success factor. And
I always as a person. Even last night, I was
talking to my business partner, Roger Krazer, who's one of
my vice presidents at my company, about always challenging itself
to get to the white me of who you are
and what you're doing? Right, Why am I doing this?
Who am I? What is my goal? Am I am?
I happy in this moment? And I think really chasing
the white meat of who you are and your identity
is what in turn makes you successful. It breaks down
those faux handlebars I like to call of connection, like
you really can connect with people when you're when you
really have a real handlebar there, you know, and when
you take the barriers away, I can really connect with you.
And I think that's what I've always tried to do.
I've never wanted people to come into my presence and
feel like they got to be this, you know, I
want people to feel comfortable, because really being comfortable is luxury, right, Yes,
being comfortable and being able to be yourself is luxury.
It's not the thing, you know, it's not an item,
it's not purchasable, right. Those things can help you feel
happy in moments. But I always felt like when I
was around certain people that I felt were successful or whatever,
they made me feel so seen. You know, they were
like what you want to eat? You know, let's go here.
It was just they were so they made me feel
comfortable in who I am. And so I think those
are things that I've always tried to identify with to
then push out to people that are connected to me.
Speaker 3: You spoke a little bit just about you mentioned your childhood.
Is there any like who do you feel has had
the most influence on you in your life? Like was
one person that has had the most influence on how
you've life?
Speaker 2: I would have to say, and she probably doesn't know this,
it's my aunt Deborah Deborah more. Her name is my
aunt Deborah Morton. It's actually my mom's best friend. And
you may know them PJ Morton's mom. So PJ Morton,
who was like a musical artist. His mom and my
mom were like our best friends. And so I've known
them like my entire life. And my aunt Deborah, she's
a pastor, Deborah Deborah Morton. But my aunt Deborah, like
she always has been like fabulous to me, Like she
always had birkends, they always had like nice cars. She
was always fabulous. But she was always like she always
made me feel seen, you know, and when we were
growing up, like we would be places and like they
were famous and you know it was really successful. And
like she never they always brought us in, you know,
they always like come on this, my nephew, come on,
you know, like come sit with us, you know, come
come round in the limits in with us. Back when
this was like in the nineties, you know, like, oh,
they always made me feel seen, even when I opened
up my I had a pop up store in Potomac
before I opened up New York City and my endeavor.
She was here on a conference, and you know, they
have so many people that want to talk to them
and be with them, like they got a list of
you know, people always want their time. And literally, like
she came and she like, like, I'm spending this time
on my nephew, you know. And so she came and
we went to my store in Potomac and we rode
around the city. I was doing real estate still at
the time, and I was doing real estate calls, and
we went to lunch, we went to the Fourth Seasons
and like she prayed with my store, Like she really
showed me like a lot of things that I connected with,
like spirituality, like really being a person of faith and
really applying that into your world, but also still being real.
Like she never made me feel judged. I never had
to act like anything other than myself. I still have
my burking, she had her barking. You know, she never
made me feel less than but she was still And
so when I look at her as a successful person
who has status and connections, Like the authenticity of who
she was has really had a big impact on me
as a person, even going and getting into fashion and
loving luxury and loving creating things. So she never heard this,
and so when she sees interview, she's going to be tickled.
Speaker 4: I love that.
Speaker 3: I'm glad you were able to sh and I hope
she really does, she really does see it. Do you
feel like being because I know PJ. Mooreton and all
the music and all the things, do you feel like
being adjacent to the church and religion affected just just
your your overall being. Do you feel like there was
any tension there or conflict? Like how how did that
those two coexists?
Speaker 2: Such a good question. I was going to talk about this,
you know a little bit. When I was probably about
eighteen years old, eighteen or nineteen, I was very really
involved in the church and something happened where I ended
up like leaving and like starting a new life. And
that was really the conduit that made me move to Washington,
d C. And that gave me a new start in life.
And I think that it was it changed my life
for the better because I think at eighteen nineteen, growing
up in church, growing up in like a really really
like I don't want to say religious because we weren't
really religious. My mom was authentic with what she was
like it was all. She was very accurate with what
she was doing. But it just gave me an opportunity
to have a new life. And I think that I
don't think it had a negative effect on me because
I was always happy with my faith and I will
always believe what I believe and felt that it was
really real, and so it has been a positive like
an outlook on my business, like even with my faith, right,
even how I approach things my business, I approach it
with a faith mentality like that is a huge part
of it. And even how I deal with people, how
I connect with people. So it's been a positive effect.
I think anything negative I released along time ago.
Speaker 3: So no church hurts.
Speaker 2: I did have some of that, and I don't I
did have people, and it was with the gay thing,
you know, and at the end of the day, I
you know, I think that at certain times if you're
if you're a gay person on LGBOR, however you identify,
I think that sometimes you because people have told you
that you know that God is not close to your
God you know, doesn't want to be close to you,
or these things are bad, et cetera. You adopt. I
think it sometimes can push people away from really having
a relationship with God themselves, but they really associate their
relationship with God with the actual church or the church community.
And I think that's that's what people get it mixed up,
and so I kind of appreciated that because it really
made me have my own relationship with God outside of
the church or the religious concept. Do I go to church, Yes, absolutely,
Still when I can, I try to watch it online.
I be saying, my money, I love it. I believe
what I believe, right, But I think that not being
able to fit authentically right because people are still engaging
in church and are having there. They they're who they are, right,
they got they're dating theirs, whatever they're doing, they're doing
it and still participating. It's nothing wrong with that, but
to do authent authentically. I was able to do it
on my own through my own digesting of my faith,
and I'm kind of grateful that I was able to
come out of the construct of it because now it's
very genuine. A person can't take that from me, right,
not being able to you know, go to the singles,
you know, singles meeting, you know, does it make me
feel less?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: Do you feel as though there was a pivotal moment
in your life where you had to like talk to
your family or friends and really just like establish yourself
and live in your full truth? Where they're like, was
there a moment? And do you have any regrets or
things you would do differently about it?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: My god, it's such a good question to see that.
So actually I was not closeted. I just didn't talk
about it for a long time. And now at thirty
seven years, Oh, it's weird to be nineteen eighteen twenty
and not Dayton. Are talking about Dayton like that's straightened,
you know. But people let it be like people never
asked about it because they kind of knew it was
just this weird limbo. But probably when I was like
twenty two or twenty three, when I was about to
graduate from college, or maybe shortly after I graduated from college,
I wanted to be honest with my mom about it
because I think I was scared at one point because
I didn't know if she would be like, I didn't
think she would not love me, but I didn't think
she would like she would stop supporting me financially. I
didn't know what she would do. I guess that's the answer.
So I remember I had got out of college. I
wasn't on a phone plan anymore. I was one hundred
percent independent, and I remember my mom came to visit
me and we were coming from all Martinlandover I'll never forget.
And I was like, girl, I didn't talk to you,
you know. And I was just like, I'm gay, you know.
And she was just like what that means? You know.
I'm just like, girl, what I said, Girl, you like?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 2: So she so, I said, you know, out of respect,
I said, out of respect, I said, I want you
to ask me anything you want to ask me, and
I want to talk to you about it, I said.
At one point, I was trying to reserve that conversation
until I was dating someone or in a relationship with someone,
so that they could I could put a person there
so it wouldn't look like I'm just out here, you know,
because that was the other thing that they black people
are black parents churches. They think if you gay, you
just hump in the world, you know, and it's just
like I'm not you know, but that that day I was.
It was actually right around the second Obama inauguration because
we were going to that, and I remember I said, Okay,
ask me anything you want to ask me. I will
talk to you about every little detail. And we talked
for like hours and hours and hours, and then I
thought a release, a release from that, and then I've
since here my mom has really grown, you know, And
I won't say we never had any problems, but she
respects the young man that I am.
Speaker 3: Yeah, do you think she knew she had.
Speaker 2: To you know, even and I'm not trying to know shame,
you know, you know, you know, like you can tell,
but they just I think that that culture of not
talking about stuff is such a thing, even in the church,
I mean from everything. I mean even I could go
on and on about all the news about you know,
some happening with the church and people's money and this
and that, and it's just like it's everybody. All these
things are happening, but it's a culture of not addressing it.
It's a culture of not talking about things that are
really playing in sight. You know. It's just like, is
it like an avoidance culture? You know, but that is
so prevalent in our community, you know, and so I
think that you get trained to do that as a child.
You get don't talk about it, like you don't talk
about it, you go to church, don't talk about it,
you know. I mean, you just have this avoidance in
this non talking culture. And I think I'm glad that
i've I did not want that life. Yeah, I did
not want that life, and so I'm glad that I
was able to come out of some of those infrastructures,
if you would, so I could live very very authentically.
Speaker 3: Have you seen the opposite side of that, where people
very very close to you have not had the support
and what that looks like on their end, and just
kind of the the the way that they've had to
exist in life without support. Cause just one somebody that
has studied psychology and human behavior, but I've also studied
just just the black family just in general. I spent
a lot of college dollars studying the black family. And
a part of it has been, you know, just as
Black Americans and how we've just inherited a lot of
things from our history. So for example, when people say, like, well,
black people living together, that's a historical thing. Like even
if you go back to a place called Ghana, your
last name leads you to a family house. So if
there's ever a time where you are down on your luck,
you are experiencing hardship, there is a house for you
to go to. And so we always say like we're
kind of adjacent to like Mexicans because like they keep
everything in the family. Okay, look it's them, the uncle
or the grandma, everybody in the house, right, But you know,
black folks used to live like that. And I've just
studied the historical breakdown why where people turn eighteen, it's
like you off on your own, like you're an adult.
That's not our roots and that's not you know, where
we come from. And I think a part of what
I'm getting at is that the family, the church, the
hush culture, and I just know, like even experiencing and
studying homelessness, well, studying homelessness, I've experienced people that have
been shunned from their family. And that's actually one of
the rises of homelessness is that like they're they're coming
out to their families and they're telling them about their
sexuality or their identity and things like that, and the
families are I'm talking about, they're putting them out on
the streets. So I wonder, growing up, what's this in
the the eighties, your eighties were the same age, so
like yeah, yeah, more to eighty eight, right, like being
an eighties baby and like going through college and things
like that where it may not have been as nuanced.
So like you know, we have like gen zs like
it's more of a thing very popular now, yeah, I mean,
or just like maybe more I won't say, I feel
like just more of the baton to live in that space, right,
and so like it may not have been the same
for you, and just you know, friends or people that
were also living life in that way that did not
have the same support.
Speaker 2: So I can say when I was such a dynamic question.
When I was in college, I read this book called
The Velvet Rage, and it was one of the most
one of the most mentally transcending books about growing up
as a gay person and how that affects you and
basically what and this is what I believe I experienced,
and I always I purfased this next day and my
saying I'm so grateful for how God allowed my life
to be because it turned me into who I am
today when I was because I was a gay person.
I try to overachieve so much so that that would
be the smallest thing that people focus with me. And
so I could break it down if.
Speaker 3: I'm handsome, if I'm looking good, if I'm sharp person,
if I'm well dressed, if I'm edguct it, if I'm successful,
people will focus.
Speaker 2: Lessons on that, And I think that was something that
I saw, especially going to Howard University, where there was
a group of us who were you know, you know,
twenty one, nineteen twenty. You know, we wanted to have
six pack, right. It wasn't okay for us just to
be normal guys. We had to be fine, you know.
We had to have teeth, and we had to have
a BMW and we had to be working on my
what is it the p NC or it was something
that O P and P right, or like a management
like it's like all the you know, it was like
you had to It was this culture of overachieving because
in the back of your mind, we already are black men, right,
which means we have to overcompensate for other things. That
we feel unfortunately we have to you know, we have
to do more or just to which is the truth.
We have to do more just to cut through, right.
And so I I did have to I did. I
believe it was a recipient of that are participant in
that where I had to go to Howard University. I
had to not have no kids. I didn't you know,
you know, I had to do everything right. I had
to not just make a living. I had to be wealthy,
you know, I had to drive this, I had to
have two homes. I had to do this. And I
don't know if that if a one hundred percent of that
is tied to an overachieving mentality or if it's tied
to just me being great because that's what God has
for me. But I know that that was something that
I did always think of, like I have to be
you know, I have a brother that you know, didn't
have a lot of successes and he just didn't have
to because he's just a straight man, you know, he
was you know, you know, he didn't have to do
what I have to do right. You know, he gonna
get a woman. You know, I've listening to you, girl,
You so fat, like we'll talk about it later, but
like he gonna have a woman taking care of he
gonna be living with a woman. You know, somebody gonna
do it because it's just a man, you know. And
it's just like, you know, that couldn't happen for me,
you know. And so I do know that there were
people that didn't have those experiences, but most people that
I knew didn't have those negative experiences, you know. So
that's just but I'm not and I want to just
say nibble on something that you that you mentioned, is
that a lot of times when you're talking about children
and people people having children and they're not able. I
think a lot of times the problem is that a
lot of parents are not ready to really mentally have children,
you know. And I was talking to a straight guy,
you know, some guy, and I was just like, you know,
just because you can have a kid, don't mean that
you're ready. You know, how many people have been come
into this world with parents that did not were not
mentally ready to have a human being, right, They were
not mentally need to start. They wasn't ready. And so
these are we're talking about people and uh, you know,
millions of children and people being coming into families that
they didn't really want their children, and they having a
kid to keep the man they humping around, They just
happened to get pregnant. They don't want to have a
board with all these things. And they're not even really
mentally ready to even focus on growing a human life. Right,
what does that even mean?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 2: This person? God loaned this person to you. You're not
the owner of this person, right, just the psychiatric breakdown
of you training and nurturing and developing a human life.
Was this person ready for that?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 2: And so then you have a child who the parent
is not financially ready and able to support this child. Right,
They're not mentally able, They don't have the education to
provide sometimes for this child. And then they have the
cultural discharge, if you would, that is there bring into
this child. So it's unfortunately, I think me coming from
a middle class my mom was a smart woman, loved God,
and I think spiritually attuned. You know, she was able
to digest me and push me in a way that
was fair.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 2: I never asked her to rethink her theology. But she
loves me, she knows I love the Lord, and she
has processed me as a good person. And I think
that's fair. That's fair. Yeah, but we can we can
nibble on that girl. But it's so it's so so true.
Speaker 3: Speaking of that, do you feel that who is what
is a relationship? If you could go back in time
and repair one relationship, who would it be with and why?
Speaker 2: Hmm, that's such a good question. I recently, I recently
had an experience like this where I had a friend
that I felt like hurt my feelings and I felt
like they weren't respecting me or respecting my time, and
it would just treat me any kind of way, and
I just like cut them off, Like I stopped talking
to iron around their call, I didn't respond to their texts.
The leader like I was done. This was somebody I
was very close with it, and I was angry about it.
And I ended up running into like their sister somewhere
and she was like, oh Rn, you know, she gave
me a hugg and literally as soon as she hugged me,
his sister, right, it's not even him. All the anger
that I had like kind of just dissipated from me.
And I called him and called on calling the car
and it was just like you know you blocked me.
I ain't fooling with you, you know. But what I
am proud of myself is that I went back and
apologized right and I said I could have done this
better if I had not been angry or you know,
after I took some time to process everything, I could
have done this better and I would have done it differently.
And so I don't think out of any relationship that
I have today that I have moved in a way
that if somebody is no longer in my life, it
is for a reason I don't have it. You ain't, no, no, no,
I don't feel I think I try to digest people
really well. I think I have a good handle on people,
and if I'm ever deciding not to be friends with
someone anymore in the relationship, it's because of character. And
I've challenged myself on that because I really try to
be authentic and if I feel like I've done something wrong,
I'm not afraid to apologize. And that relationship that I
did apologize, that was in December. So I think I
repaired it and we're friends now.
Speaker 3: Oh oh, but that's really good.
Speaker 5: That's really good.
Speaker 3: I think that man adulting, we don't talk enough about
like friends can break your heart as well, and just
being somebody that's romantically involved centered relationships, talk breakups and
things like that we don't talk enough about as adults.
Repairing friendships and almost even just releasing a friendship with
no malice or discontent for that person, but just knowing
that they have served their purpose in your life. For
you know that you've outgrown that person. That's just a
big thing that we don't talk about enough.
Speaker 2: No shade, people can outgrow you, you know. And I
think and that's and that's the other side of that,
you know, And it's just like that you might be
the recipient. You know. My dad would tell me something
every every year. He would be like, he would say,
everybody's ass is up for review every year, everybody, you know,
And he was just like and he would make these
little comments like, Okay, I'm about to I'm rereading.
Speaker 4: Files, you know, and it's like you might you might
be on it. You might look at and even like
this last year, you know, with I opened up New
York and the stores and you know, navigating these tariffs
and navigating economy and people in DC losing their jobs.
Speaker 2: I was so focused on my business. It's like I
got to make sure I pay my staff. I don't
we I don't. This is not going we ain't going bankrupt.
We're not We're not tolling our doors. And so it
was a lot of people that were texting me and
calling me, and I wasn't able to get back to them,
Like I just mind, wasn't in a chit chat space.
You know, I wasn't in this chick chat space. And
I'm really focused on keeping my business in a successful space.
So I ain't going to lunch. I ain't key king,
like that's not the season I'm in. And so a
lot of people I felt like I needed to apologize
to them and like hey, like, well some people they
kind of got the post. I wasn't responding to getting
back with them. But you know, I understood at that time,
I might be on.
Speaker 3: Your list, and I don't think review is not the look.
Being up for review ain't the worst.
Speaker 2: Thing, the worst thing. You might have stayed around. I
called you too many times and you didn't answer. So
I'm gonna go a hand and put your file and
the shred power and that then at the end of
the days, much as we I'm doing it, I may
be the recipient of my foul.
Speaker 3: Not being And that's that's how I feel this year too.
I'm like, well, everybody gotta get in line. Moving on
to lighter subjects. Yes, because you are in the fashion space.
I love your personal style.
Speaker 2: You.
Speaker 3: I also feel like you are a creator in the
space as well, like you have you have like cultivated
a space where you have picked like timeless pieces or
just kind of like you've copied and pasted your personal
style and now it's available for everybody else. If y'all
ever want to Chopron's closet, go to his stores. I
think it's just like it's all the pieces in your
store are just so you. Who would you swap closets with?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 3: Do you have like a fashion icon that you would
just like I would swap my closet and a heartbeat?
Speaker 2: You know. I wish I could name someone on social
but I'm not good at remembering names. But I will
say that I think Andre Leon Tally to me, was
such an icon to me. I loved his big catt hans,
I loved his suiting. My style has shifted a little
bit now where I'm more uniform, like I kind of wear.
It's kind of the same stuff a lot. But at
one point in my life when I was doing real
estate and I was still doing well state in fashion,
I think my style was a lot of suits, a
lot of tailoring. And I love Andre I love what
he represented as a black man. He was so and
I'm so grateful that I started nibbling on him before
he passed, because I remember I watched his end. He
had a documentary that came on in television maybe two
years before he passed. And he was such an elegant
black man. He was so intelligent, he spoke so well.
He was able to authentically transcend different audiences from Paris
and Milan to mostly white focused focused audiences to the
black church and abbassy in Harlem. And I loved his
use of caft hands and like his oversize, like that
that those are some components that I.
Speaker 3: Can see that. Yeah, and you too, I love that.
What fashion trends do you want to get rid of today?
Speaker 1: You're done?
Speaker 3: You're sick of it? Get rid of it?
Speaker 2: I get rid of it. I don't know. I feel
like you know, when I think about style, I think
certain people look good in certain looks, and I think
that I've seen. Like I had on some tight sweats yesterdays.
I didn't have anything really in my DC houses. I
had to go and buy me some big sweats and
some big like I need a big clothes, you know.
And I'm like, oh, this doesn't look good on me anymore,
you know. But then I looked on Raplauren and I
saw the rape Larinne like Paris the Men's Fascial Weekend,
they had more fitted jeans on it. Now the silhouettes
are very large, but the guys look great in the
fitted dnim So I think as a true fashion person,
I like anything you wear if it's you. That's how
I feel, because it may not look good on me,
like them tight sweats didn't make me feel like how
I wanted to be.
Speaker 3: So just own whatever is, whatever you feel connected to,
own it and how you wear it.
Speaker 2: Yes, fitman is important, but I'm not the girl is
gonna be like girl, I gotta go like I want
that to trash, Like you know, I might see somebody
and it looks good on them.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's a big thing is to recognize,
like even if it's something that I wouldn't wear, doesn't mean,
it's a bad look, right, I wouldn't wear that, but
it doesn't make it a bad look.
Speaker 2: And that's what makes the world interesting. And I think
that's what makes fashion interesting. It's like, oh, like that's cute,
Like I wouldn't have put up that's cute. Like you know,
it's like, you know, like I appreciate a little wild card.
Speaker 3: Okay, So last thing before moving to our next segment.
What would you want people to remember about you? What
is like one lasting thing that you will want people
to especially since you were already building a legacy, Like
even if something happens, you have Ron David Studios cafe.
What is one of the lasting things that you will
want people to remember about you.
Speaker 2: I genuinely want people to live and be well. I
want them to dress well. I want them to have
nice homes. When I was in real estate, you know,
I you know, I would go to every time I said,
this is no shade. But I would every time a
lot of times when I saw black people homes like
they weren't really designed that nice thing inside, you know,
even when they were like big, you know, like and
it was big homes, Like the furniture wasn't bad and
I have to eye before yeah, and it's just like,
come on, it's not just a five thousand feet square.
You want nice to core and nice art in your home,
and what does that look like? How do you do that?
How do you dress well? It doesn't all have to
be designer. You know, I'm not designer everything, but I
am I look well, I look I look nice and
clean and like I want people to know that. I
want people to know that you can live well and
what does that look like? That's what I want to
disseminate into this earth and authenticity. You don't have to
be a wanna bee. You don't have to do that.
You want to find a way to do the best
things that you can do with what you have, and
do it well. I love that. I love that good.
Speaker 3: No notes, no notes on that. On to our first voicemail.
Dear to see a voicemail? Is he my husband or
just giving me the creeps?
Speaker 1: Dear to see him? So? I was with my son's
father for seven years before we realized that we were
just not going to work out. I got into a
new relationship with another man who was showing me all
the things and all of the affection that I needed.
That didn't work out either. He had five children, five
baby mothers, two dogs. Yeah, I knew this ahead of time,
but I knew him for a long time as well.
Let's just say I dodged that bullet. After eight months
of healing, I met a man who was very intentional.
We went on our first date. He brought me red roses.
He even wrote me poems. I haven't received a poem,
probably since I was a child, So I was very
excited and impressed about that. But then I started to
realize things that I just wasn't too sure about. So
there was an incident where he had to cancel our
second date along with his weekend plans out of town
because it's my had a panic attack. Not only that,
he just seems to be a very strong pillar in
his family, maybe the only pillar, and that might concern
me as far as where I may fit in his life.
There's something else that was bothering me. He doesn't have
much of a social life either. He is working on
his master's degree, which I have been giving him leeway for,
but I don't know. It's just something a little off
about not having friends at all. And the last thing was, yeah,
he wrote me two poems. But the poems began to
come in every other week, and it began to get
a little eerie, you know, like, what could you possibly
be thinking about. We haven't gone on a second date,
I'm not at we're both not active on social media,
so it's not like, you know, we see what each
other are doing in our day to day. It became
a little scary. So my question to you is, after
these two relationships and meeting this what seems to be
intentional guy? I don't want to pass up on a
possible husband, my possible person, but does he seem a
little bit off to you as well? Or should I
just ask more questions to get a little deeper. I'm
not sure.
Speaker 3: When you come from a two, a four will feel
like a ten. When you come from a two, a
guy that got five baby mamas, five kids, five baby mamas,
and two dogs. Right then, you said you did a
little healing. You did some healing, and then you met
someone after that and you said, the first day he
gave you roases and poetry. Right, you came from five
kids and five baby mamas. So a two is gonna
feel like like when you get to that four after
the two, it's gonna feel like a team gonna fly
like this is the best guy you ever met, because
you're getting poetry, you're getting dates, and you don't have
all this drama and rigamarole. So you really got to
watch that, like that pit and that deficit that you're in.
But also you haven't even gotten to the second day yet,
and you already said I don't want to miss out
on my husband. You know, sometimes as women, we find
ourselves just like flapping around. And I want you to
like get a grip. Okay, I want you to pull
things back and sit down and figure out who am I?
Who do I want to be? What kind of person
do I want to attract? What type of person do
I want to invest my time in before I go out?
And I'm like screening all these red flags from people,
and you haven't even made it to the second date.
We just talked about this in a previous episode. The
healing comes after you get off the couch. A lot
of times people like I did some healing, I went
to therapy, but you didn't do the work. Therapy happens,
and the work of it happens off of that couch,
and I'm gonna tell you this, baby, I don't know
who you went to. I don't know who you talk to.
I don't know you didn't done a sec a two
point zero of the men that you used to day before.
I don't know who the baby daddy was, but I
can only presume that that wasn't quite a good relationship.
Then you dated and entertained five kids and five baby mamas,
and then did a little bit of healing, and now
you're still attracting men that are inconsistent, but your heart
is still fully in it. And that's really my issue
with that. Dating is great, Dating is good exploratory, it's
good to really find out what you like and getting
to know people, but you're already positioning this person as
somebody that can be your future and is giving like
my DDD category, dating out of a deficit dehydration and depression.
Like this person has been one date. You got a
flower in a rowse a rose, and a poem, and
you're like, he has no friends, he has no social life,
he canceled the second date. Girl, this ain't even a
person that we should be in the I don't want
to miss my husband category. We have to pull things
back and slow down. And my friend always says, if
you want to figure out if somebody is manipulating you,
slow down because manipulator loves speed. Y'all want me to
say it again. If you want to figure out if
a man is manipulating you, slow down because a manipulator
love speed. They love to do shit quick, fast, in
a hurry. Okay, that's when you get to the love
slow things down, slow things down. When you want to
slow things down, it kind of disconnects from the control
that people have. And so I think that this is
just a case of dating and getting to know people
and you're finding out that this person is just not
really compatible. It seems like you're ready to like plant
your roots, but you're you don't have a lot of
Like you're not grounded. You need to figure out who
you are and who you want to be before you
go out here. Even considering somebody as your husband and
you have spent even though they haven't spent much time together,
Like who is this bend? He canceled the second day,
You ain't even no date number two with him? We
have to pull back the arounds. You have any thoughts
about girl?
Speaker 2: So two things I think about my sweetheart is I
think that first thing is I feel like my friend
would say, and this is no shade. Sometimes your minded
to reprogramming because the fact that you was dating these
two men that was like baby mama artists means that
you may have to readjust your type right when you
tell me and I have a little of a as
a as a man, I may have a different approach.
But when I hear master's degree, no children working on,
that sounds like someone that's looking for that has an
opening for you. Right. If I was to hear that story,
I'm like, Okay, he ready seemed like he don't have
a lot going on so he can have a woman,
you know. So I'm like, maybe he's a little boring,
you know, maybe he needs to recruit direct that writing
energy and write a book. You know, you might have something.
You know, he writes you five poems like let's dig
into that.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: I think that if you have if you eat a
lot of McDonald's and chee cheese and Wendy's, if you
get a sweet green yes, it's not gonna be as
oily and juicy as that burger, but it's gonna help you,
you know, and you might. And I don't know anything, right,
I'm not a dating advice right, I don't know. I
don't have nobody or a man or nothing. But I
was that I would maybe I would maybe say I
don't like I don't like no cancelation, canceling, man, I
hate that.
Speaker 3: So and the poem slowed down and first now he's
she's gonna pull him every other week.
Speaker 2: That's a little strange. But I would say, girl, you know,
I would say, maybe try to put some little water
in your kool aid a little bit and get some
of that sugar out. And I think that's what he
is saying.
Speaker 3: He's saying, you, uh, doped up on the drama and
the chaos. That like, maybe somebody that's more of a
cool a.
Speaker 2: Cool yeah, not your husband, but a palate cleanser.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but also too, I think the inconsistency needs to
be addressed. And that's like a big thing here, of
the inconsistency. And I think that inconsistency can actually be
reversed for somebody that actually is really invested in you
or really even interested. Always say, when a man first
meets you off the bat, he is testing you. So
when you don't read the direct, inconsistent behavior. And now
you're realizing that it's been two weeks, three weeks since
you've gotten a poem, and this person isn't really investing.
You can either take a little bit of energy and
redirect that and see if he rises to the occasion.
But I think overall, I don't think he has the
bandwidth of husband material. But my qualm with you is,
why is it that you are even considering him as
a husband and you haven't even made it to the
second date.
Speaker 2: This is good. Set a word, he said, speed? What
do you say speed?
Speaker 1: Is?
Speaker 2: What do you say about speed?
Speaker 3: Manipulators love speed? If you want to like a manipulator
loves speed, slow down, take it slow. And I'm telling
you too. They always say the people that way for marriage,
they the marriages be lasting. They people that wait for marriage. Okay,
look the marriages be working out. Okay, the marriages they stick.
They they're a little they have a little better structure
because you're not rushing into things when you don't have
things to other things to focus on. On. All you got
to do is look at somebody's personality, character and how
compatible you are with them. They're alignment with God. And
how this relationship gonna work out. You're not being you know,
bamboozled by lusting all this other stuff. You'll find out
real quick who the person really is. A lot of
y'all need to just slow down. You hopping into bed
and hopping into relationships with these people way too fast.
And people again, people that don't have the best intentions.
They look because they want it to go over your head.
They wanted to go so fast you don't catch it.
Slow down if you want to stay there and be there,
he ain't gonna mind that you want to slow the
pace down. Look, a man that like you will wait
for anything that you want to do.
Speaker 2: That's the word.
Speaker 3: A man that likes you will weigh. Oh I'm sorry,
I'm not ready to do that. I'm not comfortable with yet.
Oh you know, would you like to come over and
watch a movie? No, I'm not comfortable what they Amanda like?
You will wait? Slow down, girl, you just got out
of this situation a bounce back relationship, and now you
anyway as we got time of voice one number two
and dre okay, well he over me. We talked too much?
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: Voicemail number two, dear to see you. He said he
wants to keep it professional, but his actions say otherwise.
Speaker 6: Dear to see you. I recently came out of a
long term relationship that involves significant emotional challenges and a
lack of honesty. Since then, I've been intentional about moving
cautiously and prioritizing clarity and emotional safety. Over the summer,
I connected with someone in a professional capacity. We have
a lot of chemistry and it seems like we compliment
each other very well. We ended up going out on
one day early on and which afterwards he stated he
wasn't available for a relationship or anything deeper and wanted
to keep things strictly professional due to his current focus
on work. I respected that boundary and accepted his explanation
without pushing further, especially since I wasn't seeing anything serious
myself at this time. What has been confusing is what's followed.
Despite expressing the need to remain professional, he has continued
to engage in ways that feel more personal than necessary.
This has included a frequent casual conversations, such as texting
about topics I'm related to, our professional interactions, offering rides,
and generally maintaining consistent personal contact maybe every other day
or every other.
Speaker 3: Week or so.
Speaker 6: Most recently, he has expressed interest in moving in the
same location where I live, which added to my uncertainty
about his intentions. I'm trying to understand how to interpret
his behavior. On one hand, it could simply just be
friendliness or lack of awareness around boundaries. On the other,
it feels as though his actions don't fully align with
what he originally communicated. I'm also mindful that my past
relationship may make me more sensitive to mixed signals, and
I don't want to project meaning where there may be none.
At the same time, I don't want to ignore patterns
that feel confusing or dismiss my own need for clarity.
I'm unsure whether the best approach is to address this directly.
Should I just casually ast him as intention ask him
all we friends, or just step back entirely to avoid
further ambiguity.
Speaker 3: Let me tell you that y'all need to have a
little bit more ego. If a man tell me after
going out on a date with me, so I'll give
you personal access to my life and you like, man,
I just want to keep this professional. I'm a move
your little ass right across that road back to the
professional that you wanted to be in. When he texts you,
don't respond if he's not text you about business. Also,
y'all are not working together, so all of this professional
talk doesn't even really need to exist. He is testing you.
He's sniffing you out. He's trying to see what boundary
he can cross. He's trying to see if you're gonna
uphold your own boundaries. I don't want to hear nothing
about you moving into my area. I don't want to
hear nothing about you wanted to keep this professional relationship
if it don't include me. I think that we have
gotten in too much of a casual culture with men
that are not like in non platonic spaces. I don't
want to be friends with you. I don't want to
keep a professional relationship. And we kind of pen women
as like being mean or everybody don't need to be
your friend. We have to start set in boundaries you want.
You met him professionally, y'all had chemistry. Y'all went on
a date. This man said, Nah, is not for life.
He said, Nah, what's y'all chitchatting about? It's other than
the chit chat, y'all tried to move the needle. He said,
I'm not interested in anything more. I want to keep
a professional what's there to talk about. I ain't mad
at you, big dog, I ain't got no endem sy,
no nothing. But you can't come over here. Why are
we always upholding these small little relationships? They hold space,
and I'm telling they leave an emotional impression. They leave
a impression in your DNA when you keep holding frivolous relationships.
If this man is not somebody, either you a friend
and I could call you and tell you about my
deepest problems my family and another man, or you somebody
that I'm trying to pursue everything else in between, it
doesn't need to exist. And this is not even relationship
that needs to exist. When he texts you about rides
and hanging out and talk about I'm moving I may
move over there. What are you think I should move in?
It's nothing And I want you to know that like
a man that really wants to be which is not
going to show up in confusion. This is confused you,
confusing you, and you just kind of met this guy.
You're confused, You're confused on what his intentions are, and
he's already told you otherwise. You know. I had a
situation recently that happened with me, and my friend said,
what do you think the lesson was? And I said,
I think I was kind of like playing with fire
and like a little weasel, like I think I was
too curious about I was like, let me see what
was going on over there, and I knew damn well
that I shouldn't have right. A lot of times it's like, well,
I want to know what does this mean. It don't
mean shit, it means move on, It don't mean anything.
We have to stop being curious about confusing behavior. And
that's actually the trick of it. The trick of it
is so you don't know what's going on, that you
become curious about it, and then you end up being
more invested in something than you actually need to be.
We have to learn how to fire fast and move
out of situations quicker because you're already confused. And he
told you flot out, he was cool off you. Let
me tell you this. We need to also be a
little bit more sensitive to rejection. I think that a
lot of us endure more than what we should. A
man told me, he cooled off me you will. You
will never hear from me again. Where did that energy
come from?
Speaker 4: Now?
Speaker 3: Women are like girl? But he came back. You tell
me you cool off me once? You could never get
me on the phone. I don't Where are those girls at? Hello?
Can we rally up? Can we have a team meeting?
Where are those girls go? If I go on a
date with you and you like no, I think we
should go back to being friends. Baby, you can never
forget my time of day ever again. We need to
get back to that. You got any last thoughts about that.
Speaker 6: Period?
Speaker 3: Anyways, onto our favorite segment segment or bit you smell
good segment. Now we're doing a little things. You know,
I've been loving gifts lately, so we're doing a little
thing now. So instead of offering my favorite fragrance, I've
actually purchased ron a fragrance because of and this fragrance
is special because I feel like it made me think
of you, Like I specifically searched and researched fragrances, and
I feel like this is like my Ron David fragrance.
So you can you can open it up? Yes, you
can look in the bag.
Speaker 5: Now, okay, okay, oh, do you have this I know
you done.
Speaker 2: I don't have this.
Speaker 3: I know you don't. This was another thing I would
try to get some something that I know the person
doesn't have. Okay, So this is ex Nihilio blue talisman
out the pot fong. Okay, this is this is hair, juicy,
crisp and lively. It has Bergermont sparkling, citrus brightness, mandarin orange,
so a sweet and fresh and ginger. That's a hint
of spicy zing. So you have to open I need
you to smell it.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, I was literally should I open this? Okay,
first I have to say, girl, literally, I am out
of perfume. Fragrant was just like talking. I was like,
I gotta go over as Tysons after I leave it.
Speaker 3: It's a dangerous living out here. You just stay in
them all. Oh wait, the hard notes are orange blossom, creamy,
floral sweetness, and then our bass notes. We have some musk,
some angle and gayia wood cedar and ambrick fix. Anyways,
and I know pronunciation police will be blocked.
Speaker 4: Okay, so don't you got to go through me?
Speaker 2: This is good, that's right.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: Also, I didn't even wear any fragrance today, which is great.
So this is like this time. I know it's supposed
to be.
Speaker 3: About to do.
Speaker 2: Yes, I don't rub it up.
Speaker 3: You gotta you're gonna disrupt the fragrance. She's gotta let
it it, okay, like spread up.
Speaker 2: This time? Like this smells like a man that if
I got in the uber with him, I would be like.
Speaker 3: M hm, would you be like hmm?
Speaker 2: I would be like I like it. I feel like
I like a man. This is a I love it.
It's a mainly sin and it has little sitters too,
which is clean.
Speaker 3: That's what I felt like.
Speaker 2: I think.
Speaker 3: I told my sisters we were shopping for I was like,
I want like grong clean, classy, and I also like
to buy fragrances for people that is like not their
normal profile so that they can like have depth to
their collection.
Speaker 2: Okay, so you.
Speaker 3: Have to wear it and then text me and tell
me how you feel after like a week.
Speaker 2: I'm wearing it. I love it. If it's in my suitcase,
it's gonna be on my bag. I love it. Thank you.
Speaker 3: Okay. So I got that from Norstrum, but y'all can
get it anywhere. Sack norm call me, okay, but really France.
Speaker 2: Like this girl, I gotta look that that.
Speaker 3: Don't rub your wrists together anyways. Well that's all folks
for this episode of There to See It. Thank you to.
Speaker 1: Mister having me.
Speaker 2: This has been such a treat.
Speaker 3: Yes, we'll see you next time. Y'all in in