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Speaker 1: To do.

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Speaker 2: I've never wanted people to come into my presence and

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feel like they got to be this. You know, I

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want people to feel comfortable, because really being comfortable is luxury, right,

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Being comfortable and being able to be yourself is luxury.

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It's not the thing, you know, it's not an item,

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it's not purchasable, right. Those things can help you feel

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happy in moments. But I always felt like when I

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was around certain people that I felt were successful or whatever,

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they made me feel so seen. You know, they were

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like what you want to eat? You know, let's go here.

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It was just they were so they made me feel

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comfortable in who I am, and so I think those

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are things that I've always tried to identify with to

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then push out to people that are connected to me.

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Speaker 3: Hey, y'all, welcome back to Dear to Sea. We are

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jumping right into it. We have some subscription reminders. Follow

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Dear to See You on Apple Music and Spotify. Leave

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us a five star review. We want you to subscribe

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to relationship, restore the YouTube channel, and also subscribe to

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my YouTube channel which is under to Sea XBS twenty

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and we are trying to get to ten k subscribers.

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Speaker 1: Okay, keep it, Tea.

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Speaker 3: We are trying to get to ten k subscribers and

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I know that we can do it. And my birthday

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is coming up April twentio. So now y'all meet my

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new year ago, my October go, or my new year go.

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But hopefully y'all can meet my birthday go. I mean,

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if y'all really love me, we will. So we want

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to introduce our guest of the show, who is mister

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Ron David. Okay, so I always tell how I met

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the guests of the show. And I first went to

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Ron David's studio as a content creator, so that was

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one thing, and I remember us, I have to send

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you this picture, Roo, we took this picture together. But

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let me say one thing about me is that I

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observed energy and people, and I was following you already

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even before I went to the Ron David studio, because

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I felt like you were like one of the it

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guys in DC, Like I felt like people were, like,

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you know, just talking about it. I saw a lot

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of fashion shows and pieces that people were wearing, and

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so I had already been following him, and then I

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felt like like I met you, and it kind of

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just humanized you.

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh, he seemed.

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Speaker 3: To just have like really good energy. So I kind

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of been like stalking Ron for a while, and then

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I came to like a couple of his events. He

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probably like, who is this girl? I'm like, we're friends,

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and you don't even know that we are friends. So

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basically I've been stalking Ron for forever and we are

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We're growing in friendship on benow stamp. Do you want

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to describe yourself? What would you like the world to

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know about you? Who is Ron David?

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Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, that's such a good question. I am.

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I am a regular guy who am not afraid to

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chase my dreams. Yeah, yeah, that's me. I'm a regular

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guy that has had these childhood visions of what I

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wanted my life to be and I was just never

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afraid to go after it. And that's what people are

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seeing today is the result of that.

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Speaker 3: Wow, and it's somebody who is a like being a

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dream chaser is so a part of my DNA, Like

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I have always been a big dreamer and I like

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to be around I like to be around people like

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that because you've ever seen that real was like, don't

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call me and asked me should you buy something? Because

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I'm always tell you to buy it right, And I

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just love that, Like if you call me and say, like,

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what do you think if I was to start this cafe,

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do you yes, you should? You know, and we can

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brainstorm and talk about the logistics of it. But I

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love to just feed a dream. And I remember when

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I came to your, uh your panel at the Gathering

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Spot and it was you Tyrone who was Beyonce style?

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Speaker 2: It was a k h K Davenport.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Ka Davenport was on there, and you talked a

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lot about being a dreamer and being really successful in

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real estate. And I don't think that people know those

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like layereds to you. Who do you think that people

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think you are.

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Speaker 2: I think people think I am like, like I don't

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say materialistic, but they think I'm like a luxury worshiper,

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like I just love like luxury. Like I think people

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attach that to me. I think people think like I'm

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this rich black boy, you know. And what people don't

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know is that everything that I have I did not

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come from a wealthy family. I did not come from

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the black elite, like my mom was out a college graduate.

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I think My sister was the first person in my

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nuclear family to graduate from college. She went to Spellman

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and of course I went to Howard University. Shout out

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to the hu, you know. But it's that, like I

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think people don't know that about me, You know that,

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like I really materialize this world of mine, you know,

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over the years by just kind of like having this

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vision of it.

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Speaker 3: Don't you think that that is a testament to how

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you carry yourself. I hope so that people think that

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you've come from well to do, But I think that

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that's just a testament to how you carry yourself. Like

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you do give like classy upper echelon, but I think

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that you also like make everybody feel important, safe and seen.

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Like I think you have just like great cadence and

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rapport with people. And I think that that's just a

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testament to no matter what what you're wearing, no matter

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what you have on. I think that class is a

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way of life, is how you treat people. It's elegance

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and also too, it's education, is exposure, it's cultural experiences,

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and that is like the biggest equalizes or like I

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may not be able to go toe to toe like

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you said, I may not be able to buy that

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house in cash, you know, but you.

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Speaker 2: Know I'm gonna take good care of it.

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Speaker 3: I would take to have it.

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Speaker 2: Yes, But you know, I think that's such a tea

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that you just said, because I had my mom had

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a friend that was really wealthy when we were growing up,

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and what I liked about them was that they were

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so themselves. And I think as I have grown up

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and been around now around people that have been successful

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in business and been successful and with their finances and

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different things that they've done, is the individuality of it. Yes,

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And I think that was something that I think that

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would be another secret about me is that I'm very

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much a studyer of life and people, Like I'm very

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much observant of like what's really happening, Like I'm not

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really interested in trying to see like the smoke of

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it all, Like I want to understand what's the what

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is the white meat of this?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 2: And I think in my childhood, because I didn't have

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certain things, I didn't feel like I was was, you know,

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what everybody was doing, it made me really want to

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study what are these success factors of sorts? Like what

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what are the what is the DNA of people that

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I felt like were thriving, and they were always individuals.

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They were themselves, they liked what they like.

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Speaker 1: You.

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Speaker 2: I remember my mom had this friend who like, we

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went to see them in Atlanta. She had this big,

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this big, big house, and she was bab and like

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they had no My mom had on her for years,

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and she was like, you know, she was showing us

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all these Louis Baton bags that they was like stacked up,

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and she was like, some of these is real, and

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someone them was a fake. You know what I'm saying.

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It was like it kind of tickled me because it's like,

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we know you got the coins, you know, you don't

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have to we got the receipts, you know. But it

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was the individuality of them being so comfortable in their

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skin that I believe that was a success factor. And

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I always as a person. Even last night, I was

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talking to my business partner, Roger Krazer, who's one of

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my vice presidents at my company, about always challenging itself

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to get to the white me of who you are

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and what you're doing? Right, Why am I doing this?

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Who am I? What is my goal? Am I am?

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I happy in this moment? And I think really chasing

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the white meat of who you are and your identity

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is what in turn makes you successful. It breaks down

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those faux handlebars I like to call of connection, like

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you really can connect with people when you're when you

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really have a real handlebar there, you know, and when

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you take the barriers away, I can really connect with you.

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And I think that's what I've always tried to do.

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I've never wanted people to come into my presence and

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feel like they got to be this, you know, I

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want people to feel comfortable, because really being comfortable is luxury, right, Yes,

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being comfortable and being able to be yourself is luxury.

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It's not the thing, you know, it's not an item,

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it's not purchasable, right. Those things can help you feel

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happy in moments. But I always felt like when I

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was around certain people that I felt were successful or whatever,

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they made me feel so seen. You know, they were

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like what you want to eat? You know, let's go here.

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It was just they were so they made me feel

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comfortable in who I am. And so I think those

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are things that I've always tried to identify with to

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then push out to people that are connected to me.

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Speaker 3: You spoke a little bit just about you mentioned your childhood.

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Is there any like who do you feel has had

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the most influence on you in your life? Like was

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one person that has had the most influence on how

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you've life?

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Speaker 2: I would have to say, and she probably doesn't know this,

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it's my aunt Deborah Deborah more. Her name is my

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aunt Deborah Morton. It's actually my mom's best friend. And

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you may know them PJ Morton's mom. So PJ Morton,

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who was like a musical artist. His mom and my

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mom were like our best friends. And so I've known

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them like my entire life. And my aunt Deborah, she's

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a pastor, Deborah Deborah Morton. But my aunt Deborah, like

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she always has been like fabulous to me, Like she

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always had birkends, they always had like nice cars. She

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was always fabulous. But she was always like she always

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made me feel seen, you know, and when we were

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growing up, like we would be places and like they

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were famous and you know it was really successful. And

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like she never they always brought us in, you know,

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they always like come on this, my nephew, come on,

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you know, like come sit with us, you know, come

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come round in the limits in with us. Back when

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this was like in the nineties, you know, like, oh,

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they always made me feel seen, even when I opened

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up my I had a pop up store in Potomac

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before I opened up New York City and my endeavor.

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She was here on a conference, and you know, they

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have so many people that want to talk to them

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and be with them, like they got a list of

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you know, people always want their time. And literally, like

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she came and she like, like, I'm spending this time

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on my nephew, you know. And so she came and

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we went to my store in Potomac and we rode

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around the city. I was doing real estate still at

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the time, and I was doing real estate calls, and

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we went to lunch, we went to the Fourth Seasons

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and like she prayed with my store, Like she really

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showed me like a lot of things that I connected with,

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like spirituality, like really being a person of faith and

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really applying that into your world, but also still being real.

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Like she never made me feel judged. I never had

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to act like anything other than myself. I still have

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my burking, she had her barking. You know, she never

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made me feel less than but she was still And

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so when I look at her as a successful person

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who has status and connections, Like the authenticity of who

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she was has really had a big impact on me

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as a person, even going and getting into fashion and

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loving luxury and loving creating things. So she never heard this,

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and so when she sees interview, she's going to be tickled.

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Speaker 4: I love that.

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Speaker 3: I'm glad you were able to sh and I hope

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she really does, she really does see it. Do you

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feel like being because I know PJ. Mooreton and all

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the music and all the things, do you feel like

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being adjacent to the church and religion affected just just

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your your overall being. Do you feel like there was

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any tension there or conflict? Like how how did that

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those two coexists?

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Speaker 2: Such a good question. I was going to talk about this,

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you know a little bit. When I was probably about

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eighteen years old, eighteen or nineteen, I was very really

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involved in the church and something happened where I ended

246
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up like leaving and like starting a new life. And

247
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that was really the conduit that made me move to Washington,

248
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d C. And that gave me a new start in life.

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And I think that it was it changed my life

250
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for the better because I think at eighteen nineteen, growing

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up in church, growing up in like a really really

252
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like I don't want to say religious because we weren't

253
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really religious. My mom was authentic with what she was

254
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like it was all. She was very accurate with what

255
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she was doing. But it just gave me an opportunity

256
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to have a new life. And I think that I

257
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don't think it had a negative effect on me because

258
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I was always happy with my faith and I will

259
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always believe what I believe and felt that it was

260
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really real, and so it has been a positive like

261
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an outlook on my business, like even with my faith, right,

262
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even how I approach things my business, I approach it

263
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with a faith mentality like that is a huge part

264
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of it. And even how I deal with people, how

265
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I connect with people. So it's been a positive effect.

266
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I think anything negative I released along time ago.

267
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Speaker 3: So no church hurts.

268
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Speaker 2: I did have some of that, and I don't I

269
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did have people, and it was with the gay thing,

270
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you know, and at the end of the day, I

271
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you know, I think that at certain times if you're

272
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if you're a gay person on LGBOR, however you identify,

273
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I think that sometimes you because people have told you

274
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that you know that God is not close to your

275
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God you know, doesn't want to be close to you,

276
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or these things are bad, et cetera. You adopt. I

277
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think it sometimes can push people away from really having

278
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a relationship with God themselves, but they really associate their

279
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relationship with God with the actual church or the church community.

280
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And I think that's that's what people get it mixed up,

281
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and so I kind of appreciated that because it really

282
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made me have my own relationship with God outside of

283
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the church or the religious concept. Do I go to church, Yes, absolutely,

284
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Still when I can, I try to watch it online.

285
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I be saying, my money, I love it. I believe

286
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what I believe, right, But I think that not being

287
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able to fit authentically right because people are still engaging

288
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in church and are having there. They they're who they are, right,

289
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they got they're dating theirs, whatever they're doing, they're doing

290
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it and still participating. It's nothing wrong with that, but

291
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:21,159
to do authent authentically. I was able to do it

292
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on my own through my own digesting of my faith,

293
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and I'm kind of grateful that I was able to

294
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come out of the construct of it because now it's

295
00:15:29,559 --> 00:15:33,480
very genuine. A person can't take that from me, right,

296
00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:37,559
not being able to you know, go to the singles,

297
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you know, singles meeting, you know, does it make me

298
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:41,919
feel less?

299
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Speaker 1: Yeah?

300
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Speaker 2: You know.

301
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Speaker 3: Do you feel as though there was a pivotal moment

302
00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:50,840
in your life where you had to like talk to

303
00:15:50,919 --> 00:15:55,279
your family or friends and really just like establish yourself

304
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:58,639
and live in your full truth? Where they're like, was

305
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there a moment? And do you have any regrets or

306
00:16:01,559 --> 00:16:03,200
things you would do differently about it?

307
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Speaker 1: Oh?

308
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Speaker 2: My god, it's such a good question to see that.

309
00:16:07,039 --> 00:16:11,960
So actually I was not closeted. I just didn't talk

310
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,840
about it for a long time. And now at thirty

311
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:19,639
seven years, Oh, it's weird to be nineteen eighteen twenty

312
00:16:19,639 --> 00:16:22,519
and not Dayton. Are talking about Dayton like that's straightened,

313
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you know. But people let it be like people never

314
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,360
asked about it because they kind of knew it was

315
00:16:26,399 --> 00:16:29,600
just this weird limbo. But probably when I was like

316
00:16:29,639 --> 00:16:31,480
twenty two or twenty three, when I was about to

317
00:16:31,519 --> 00:16:35,519
graduate from college, or maybe shortly after I graduated from college,

318
00:16:35,679 --> 00:16:37,799
I wanted to be honest with my mom about it

319
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,480
because I think I was scared at one point because

320
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I didn't know if she would be like, I didn't

321
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,960
think she would not love me, but I didn't think

322
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,360
she would like she would stop supporting me financially. I

323
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:49,559
didn't know what she would do. I guess that's the answer.

324
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So I remember I had got out of college. I

325
00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:55,399
wasn't on a phone plan anymore. I was one hundred

326
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:58,720
percent independent, and I remember my mom came to visit

327
00:16:58,759 --> 00:17:01,559
me and we were coming from all Martinlandover I'll never forget.

328
00:17:01,559 --> 00:17:04,440
And I was like, girl, I didn't talk to you,

329
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,720
you know. And I was just like, I'm gay, you know.

330
00:17:06,839 --> 00:17:09,319
And she was just like what that means? You know.

331
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:12,200
I'm just like, girl, what I said, Girl, you like?

332
00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:12,799
Speaker 1: You know?

333
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Speaker 2: So she so, I said, you know, out of respect,

334
00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:16,759
I said, out of respect, I said, I want you

335
00:17:16,799 --> 00:17:19,279
to ask me anything you want to ask me, and

336
00:17:19,599 --> 00:17:21,680
I want to talk to you about it, I said.

337
00:17:21,759 --> 00:17:23,720
At one point, I was trying to reserve that conversation

338
00:17:23,839 --> 00:17:27,319
until I was dating someone or in a relationship with someone,

339
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:29,920
so that they could I could put a person there

340
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:31,960
so it wouldn't look like I'm just out here, you know,

341
00:17:32,559 --> 00:17:35,440
because that was the other thing that they black people

342
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:37,559
are black parents churches. They think if you gay, you

343
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,279
just hump in the world, you know, and it's just

344
00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:42,559
like I'm not you know, but that that day I was.

345
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It was actually right around the second Obama inauguration because

346
00:17:47,319 --> 00:17:51,519
we were going to that, and I remember I said, Okay,

347
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,119
ask me anything you want to ask me. I will

348
00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:57,720
talk to you about every little detail. And we talked

349
00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,720
for like hours and hours and hours, and then I

350
00:17:59,759 --> 00:18:02,279
thought a release, a release from that, and then I've

351
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:06,440
since here my mom has really grown, you know, And

352
00:18:07,279 --> 00:18:08,920
I won't say we never had any problems, but she

353
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,559
respects the young man that I am.

354
00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:13,519
Speaker 3: Yeah, do you think she knew she had.

355
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Speaker 2: To you know, even and I'm not trying to know shame,

356
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:23,759
you know, you know, you know, like you can tell,

357
00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:27,960
but they just I think that that culture of not

358
00:18:28,119 --> 00:18:30,839
talking about stuff is such a thing, even in the church,

359
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:34,319
I mean from everything. I mean even I could go

360
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,559
on and on about all the news about you know,

361
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,039
some happening with the church and people's money and this

362
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:41,440
and that, and it's just like it's everybody. All these

363
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:44,400
things are happening, but it's a culture of not addressing it.

364
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,160
It's a culture of not talking about things that are

365
00:18:47,279 --> 00:18:50,720
really playing in sight. You know. It's just like, is

366
00:18:50,759 --> 00:18:55,079
it like an avoidance culture? You know, but that is

367
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:59,000
so prevalent in our community, you know, and so I

368
00:18:59,039 --> 00:19:02,119
think that you get trained to do that as a child.

369
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:05,240
You get don't talk about it, like you don't talk

370
00:19:05,279 --> 00:19:07,119
about it, you go to church, don't talk about it,

371
00:19:07,559 --> 00:19:09,519
you know. I mean, you just have this avoidance in

372
00:19:09,559 --> 00:19:13,960
this non talking culture. And I think I'm glad that

373
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:17,640
i've I did not want that life. Yeah, I did

374
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:20,079
not want that life, and so I'm glad that I

375
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,319
was able to come out of some of those infrastructures,

376
00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:26,160
if you would, so I could live very very authentically.

377
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:30,880
Speaker 3: Have you seen the opposite side of that, where people

378
00:19:31,079 --> 00:19:34,079
very very close to you have not had the support

379
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,519
and what that looks like on their end, and just

380
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:41,079
kind of the the the way that they've had to

381
00:19:41,519 --> 00:19:45,519
exist in life without support. Cause just one somebody that

382
00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:48,920
has studied psychology and human behavior, but I've also studied

383
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:54,640
just just the black family just in general. I spent

384
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:57,480
a lot of college dollars studying the black family. And

385
00:19:57,519 --> 00:20:03,640
a part of it has been, you know, just as

386
00:20:04,079 --> 00:20:08,039
Black Americans and how we've just inherited a lot of

387
00:20:08,079 --> 00:20:13,839
things from our history. So for example, when people say, like, well,

388
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:17,680
black people living together, that's a historical thing. Like even

389
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:20,079
if you go back to a place called Ghana, your

390
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,839
last name leads you to a family house. So if

391
00:20:22,839 --> 00:20:25,920
there's ever a time where you are down on your luck,

392
00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:29,759
you are experiencing hardship, there is a house for you

393
00:20:29,839 --> 00:20:32,880
to go to. And so we always say like we're

394
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:36,119
kind of adjacent to like Mexicans because like they keep

395
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:39,000
everything in the family. Okay, look it's them, the uncle

396
00:20:39,039 --> 00:20:41,480
or the grandma, everybody in the house, right, But you know,

397
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:44,279
black folks used to live like that. And I've just

398
00:20:44,319 --> 00:20:48,440
studied the historical breakdown why where people turn eighteen, it's

399
00:20:48,519 --> 00:20:50,559
like you off on your own, like you're an adult.

400
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,119
That's not our roots and that's not you know, where

401
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:54,880
we come from. And I think a part of what

402
00:20:54,960 --> 00:21:00,440
I'm getting at is that the family, the church, the

403
00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:05,680
hush culture, and I just know, like even experiencing and

404
00:21:05,759 --> 00:21:11,000
studying homelessness, well, studying homelessness, I've experienced people that have

405
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:14,599
been shunned from their family. And that's actually one of

406
00:21:14,319 --> 00:21:18,240
the rises of homelessness is that like they're they're coming

407
00:21:18,279 --> 00:21:20,680
out to their families and they're telling them about their

408
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:24,480
sexuality or their identity and things like that, and the

409
00:21:24,599 --> 00:21:27,119
families are I'm talking about, they're putting them out on

410
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,240
the streets. So I wonder, growing up, what's this in

411
00:21:29,279 --> 00:21:32,720
the the eighties, your eighties were the same age, so

412
00:21:32,799 --> 00:21:36,640
like yeah, yeah, more to eighty eight, right, like being

413
00:21:36,799 --> 00:21:41,079
an eighties baby and like going through college and things

414
00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:43,640
like that where it may not have been as nuanced.

415
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:45,720
So like you know, we have like gen zs like

416
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:48,599
it's more of a thing very popular now, yeah, I mean,

417
00:21:49,039 --> 00:21:53,960
or just like maybe more I won't say, I feel

418
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:57,319
like just more of the baton to live in that space, right,

419
00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,680
and so like it may not have been the same

420
00:21:59,759 --> 00:22:02,400
for you, and just you know, friends or people that

421
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:07,119
were also living life in that way that did not

422
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:08,079
have the same support.

423
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:13,359
Speaker 2: So I can say when I was such a dynamic question.

424
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:17,119
When I was in college, I read this book called

425
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:20,200
The Velvet Rage, and it was one of the most

426
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:23,240
one of the most mentally transcending books about growing up

427
00:22:23,279 --> 00:22:25,960
as a gay person and how that affects you and

428
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,799
basically what and this is what I believe I experienced,

429
00:22:28,799 --> 00:22:32,079
and I always I purfased this next day and my

430
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:34,480
saying I'm so grateful for how God allowed my life

431
00:22:34,519 --> 00:22:36,200
to be because it turned me into who I am

432
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:39,880
today when I was because I was a gay person.

433
00:22:40,799 --> 00:22:47,680
I try to overachieve so much so that that would

434
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:53,200
be the smallest thing that people focus with me. And

435
00:22:53,319 --> 00:22:55,559
so I could break it down if.

436
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:58,319
Speaker 3: I'm handsome, if I'm looking good, if I'm sharp person,

437
00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:01,359
if I'm well dressed, if I'm edguct it, if I'm successful,

438
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,000
people will focus.

439
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:06,079
Speaker 2: Lessons on that, And I think that was something that

440
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,759
I saw, especially going to Howard University, where there was

441
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:13,920
a group of us who were you know, you know,

442
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,799
twenty one, nineteen twenty. You know, we wanted to have

443
00:23:17,079 --> 00:23:19,920
six pack, right. It wasn't okay for us just to

444
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:23,559
be normal guys. We had to be fine, you know.

445
00:23:23,599 --> 00:23:25,519
We had to have teeth, and we had to have

446
00:23:25,559 --> 00:23:28,319
a BMW and we had to be working on my

447
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:30,839
what is it the p NC or it was something

448
00:23:30,839 --> 00:23:33,519
that O P and P right, or like a management

449
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:35,880
like it's like all the you know, it was like

450
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:39,319
you had to It was this culture of overachieving because

451
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:43,519
in the back of your mind, we already are black men, right,

452
00:23:43,559 --> 00:23:45,839
which means we have to overcompensate for other things. That

453
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:48,640
we feel unfortunately we have to you know, we have

454
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:51,000
to do more or just to which is the truth.

455
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:54,039
We have to do more just to cut through, right.

456
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:58,799
And so I I did have to I did. I

457
00:23:58,799 --> 00:24:02,039
believe it was a recipient of that are participant in

458
00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:05,680
that where I had to go to Howard University. I

459
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:08,640
had to not have no kids. I didn't you know,

460
00:24:09,039 --> 00:24:10,680
you know, I had to do everything right. I had

461
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:12,720
to not just make a living. I had to be wealthy,

462
00:24:12,799 --> 00:24:14,240
you know, I had to drive this, I had to

463
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:16,680
have two homes. I had to do this. And I

464
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:18,799
don't know if that if a one hundred percent of that

465
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:22,720
is tied to an overachieving mentality or if it's tied

466
00:24:22,759 --> 00:24:24,920
to just me being great because that's what God has

467
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,440
for me. But I know that that was something that

468
00:24:27,519 --> 00:24:30,119
I did always think of, like I have to be

469
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,799
you know, I have a brother that you know, didn't

470
00:24:33,839 --> 00:24:37,119
have a lot of successes and he just didn't have

471
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:38,759
to because he's just a straight man, you know, he

472
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:40,839
was you know, you know, he didn't have to do

473
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,640
what I have to do right. You know, he gonna

474
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:46,240
get a woman. You know, I've listening to you, girl,

475
00:24:46,279 --> 00:24:48,839
You so fat, like we'll talk about it later, but

476
00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:51,279
like he gonna have a woman taking care of he

477
00:24:51,279 --> 00:24:53,559
gonna be living with a woman. You know, somebody gonna

478
00:24:53,599 --> 00:24:55,319
do it because it's just a man, you know. And

479
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:57,319
it's just like, you know, that couldn't happen for me,

480
00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:59,759
you know. And so I do know that there were

481
00:24:59,799 --> 00:25:04,480
people that didn't have those experiences, but most people that

482
00:25:04,559 --> 00:25:09,799
I knew didn't have those negative experiences, you know. So

483
00:25:09,839 --> 00:25:14,519
that's just but I'm not and I want to just

484
00:25:14,599 --> 00:25:17,759
say nibble on something that you that you mentioned, is

485
00:25:17,799 --> 00:25:20,960
that a lot of times when you're talking about children

486
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:23,720
and people people having children and they're not able. I

487
00:25:23,759 --> 00:25:25,279
think a lot of times the problem is that a

488
00:25:25,279 --> 00:25:28,519
lot of parents are not ready to really mentally have children,

489
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:32,079
you know. And I was talking to a straight guy,

490
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:34,640
you know, some guy, and I was just like, you know,

491
00:25:34,799 --> 00:25:36,400
just because you can have a kid, don't mean that

492
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:39,160
you're ready. You know, how many people have been come

493
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:42,039
into this world with parents that did not were not

494
00:25:42,319 --> 00:25:46,079
mentally ready to have a human being, right, They were

495
00:25:46,079 --> 00:25:50,640
not mentally need to start. They wasn't ready. And so

496
00:25:50,759 --> 00:25:55,319
these are we're talking about people and uh, you know,

497
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:58,480
millions of children and people being coming into families that

498
00:25:58,839 --> 00:26:00,599
they didn't really want their children, and they having a

499
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:03,039
kid to keep the man they humping around, They just

500
00:26:03,039 --> 00:26:04,440
happened to get pregnant. They don't want to have a

501
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,599
board with all these things. And they're not even really

502
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:10,200
mentally ready to even focus on growing a human life. Right,

503
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:11,119
what does that even mean?

504
00:26:11,319 --> 00:26:11,480
Speaker 4: Right?

505
00:26:11,559 --> 00:26:13,920
Speaker 2: This person? God loaned this person to you. You're not

506
00:26:14,039 --> 00:26:18,240
the owner of this person, right, just the psychiatric breakdown

507
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:22,880
of you training and nurturing and developing a human life.

508
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:24,440
Was this person ready for that?

509
00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:25,599
Speaker 3: Yeah?

510
00:26:25,839 --> 00:26:26,079
Speaker 1: You know?

511
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:28,960
Speaker 2: And so then you have a child who the parent

512
00:26:29,039 --> 00:26:32,640
is not financially ready and able to support this child. Right,

513
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:35,319
They're not mentally able, They don't have the education to

514
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,279
provide sometimes for this child. And then they have the

515
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:43,079
cultural discharge, if you would, that is there bring into

516
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:46,799
this child. So it's unfortunately, I think me coming from

517
00:26:46,799 --> 00:26:50,319
a middle class my mom was a smart woman, loved God,

518
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:53,559
and I think spiritually attuned. You know, she was able

519
00:26:53,599 --> 00:26:56,680
to digest me and push me in a way that

520
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:57,759
was fair.

521
00:26:58,279 --> 00:26:58,480
Speaker 4: Right.

522
00:26:59,599 --> 00:27:02,079
Speaker 2: I never asked her to rethink her theology. But she

523
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:03,880
loves me, she knows I love the Lord, and she

524
00:27:04,079 --> 00:27:06,759
has processed me as a good person. And I think

525
00:27:06,799 --> 00:27:10,440
that's fair. That's fair. Yeah, but we can we can

526
00:27:10,519 --> 00:27:12,759
nibble on that girl. But it's so it's so so true.

527
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:16,960
Speaker 3: Speaking of that, do you feel that who is what

528
00:27:17,079 --> 00:27:19,720
is a relationship? If you could go back in time

529
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:26,200
and repair one relationship, who would it be with and why?

530
00:27:30,599 --> 00:27:38,160
Speaker 2: Hmm, that's such a good question. I recently, I recently

531
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:41,839
had an experience like this where I had a friend

532
00:27:41,839 --> 00:27:46,880
that I felt like hurt my feelings and I felt

533
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:49,160
like they weren't respecting me or respecting my time, and

534
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:50,680
it would just treat me any kind of way, and

535
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,319
I just like cut them off, Like I stopped talking

536
00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:56,359
to iron around their call, I didn't respond to their texts.

537
00:27:56,920 --> 00:27:59,200
The leader like I was done. This was somebody I

538
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:04,279
was very close with it, and I was angry about it.

539
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:09,160
And I ended up running into like their sister somewhere

540
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:11,200
and she was like, oh Rn, you know, she gave

541
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:12,880
me a hugg and literally as soon as she hugged me,

542
00:28:14,559 --> 00:28:18,799
his sister, right, it's not even him. All the anger

543
00:28:18,839 --> 00:28:21,640
that I had like kind of just dissipated from me.

544
00:28:22,319 --> 00:28:24,759
And I called him and called on calling the car

545
00:28:24,839 --> 00:28:26,519
and it was just like you know you blocked me.

546
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:29,160
I ain't fooling with you, you know. But what I

547
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:31,559
am proud of myself is that I went back and

548
00:28:31,599 --> 00:28:34,640
apologized right and I said I could have done this

549
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:38,359
better if I had not been angry or you know,

550
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:41,880
after I took some time to process everything, I could

551
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:43,960
have done this better and I would have done it differently.

552
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:47,960
And so I don't think out of any relationship that

553
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:51,640
I have today that I have moved in a way

554
00:28:52,119 --> 00:28:53,920
that if somebody is no longer in my life, it

555
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:58,279
is for a reason I don't have it. You ain't, no, no, no,

556
00:28:58,319 --> 00:29:01,480
I don't feel I think I try to digest people

557
00:29:02,079 --> 00:29:04,799
really well. I think I have a good handle on people,

558
00:29:05,279 --> 00:29:08,160
and if I'm ever deciding not to be friends with

559
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:12,839
someone anymore in the relationship, it's because of character. And

560
00:29:13,279 --> 00:29:15,839
I've challenged myself on that because I really try to

561
00:29:15,839 --> 00:29:19,279
be authentic and if I feel like I've done something wrong,

562
00:29:19,279 --> 00:29:22,079
I'm not afraid to apologize. And that relationship that I

563
00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:25,079
did apologize, that was in December. So I think I

564
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:26,880
repaired it and we're friends now.

565
00:29:27,279 --> 00:29:29,440
Speaker 3: Oh oh, but that's really good.

566
00:29:29,559 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 5: That's really good.

567
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:34,359
Speaker 3: I think that man adulting, we don't talk enough about

568
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:37,039
like friends can break your heart as well, and just

569
00:29:37,079 --> 00:29:43,160
being somebody that's romantically involved centered relationships, talk breakups and

570
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:47,440
things like that we don't talk enough about as adults.

571
00:29:47,559 --> 00:29:53,319
Repairing friendships and almost even just releasing a friendship with

572
00:29:53,359 --> 00:29:57,440
no malice or discontent for that person, but just knowing

573
00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:00,319
that they have served their purpose in your life. For

574
00:30:00,799 --> 00:30:04,359
you know that you've outgrown that person. That's just a

575
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:06,240
big thing that we don't talk about enough.

576
00:30:06,279 --> 00:30:09,359
Speaker 2: No shade, people can outgrow you, you know. And I

577
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:11,240
think and that's and that's the other side of that,

578
00:30:11,319 --> 00:30:13,799
you know, And it's just like that you might be

579
00:30:13,839 --> 00:30:16,160
the recipient. You know. My dad would tell me something

580
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:19,160
every every year. He would be like, he would say,

581
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:24,039
everybody's ass is up for review every year, everybody, you know,

582
00:30:24,119 --> 00:30:25,519
And he was just like and he would make these

583
00:30:25,519 --> 00:30:28,799
little comments like, Okay, I'm about to I'm rereading.

584
00:30:28,359 --> 00:30:31,400
Speaker 4: Files, you know, and it's like you might you might

585
00:30:31,519 --> 00:30:34,319
be on it. You might look at and even like

586
00:30:34,359 --> 00:30:37,599
this last year, you know, with I opened up New

587
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:41,200
York and the stores and you know, navigating these tariffs

588
00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:43,920
and navigating economy and people in DC losing their jobs.

589
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:47,640
Speaker 2: I was so focused on my business. It's like I

590
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:49,480
got to make sure I pay my staff. I don't

591
00:30:49,519 --> 00:30:51,799
we I don't. This is not going we ain't going bankrupt.

592
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:54,640
We're not We're not tolling our doors. And so it

593
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:56,119
was a lot of people that were texting me and

594
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:58,799
calling me, and I wasn't able to get back to them,

595
00:30:58,839 --> 00:31:01,759
Like I just mind, wasn't in a chit chat space.

596
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:04,160
You know, I wasn't in this chick chat space. And

597
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:08,960
I'm really focused on keeping my business in a successful space.

598
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:11,599
So I ain't going to lunch. I ain't key king,

599
00:31:11,799 --> 00:31:14,599
like that's not the season I'm in. And so a

600
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:17,519
lot of people I felt like I needed to apologize

601
00:31:17,519 --> 00:31:20,319
to them and like hey, like, well some people they

602
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:22,119
kind of got the post. I wasn't responding to getting

603
00:31:22,119 --> 00:31:25,279
back with them. But you know, I understood at that time,

604
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:26,240
I might be on.

605
00:31:26,119 --> 00:31:30,279
Speaker 3: Your list, and I don't think review is not the look.

606
00:31:30,319 --> 00:31:32,519
Being up for review ain't the worst.

607
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:34,000
Speaker 2: Thing, the worst thing. You might have stayed around. I

608
00:31:34,079 --> 00:31:35,839
called you too many times and you didn't answer. So

609
00:31:35,839 --> 00:31:37,720
I'm gonna go a hand and put your file and

610
00:31:37,759 --> 00:31:39,920
the shred power and that then at the end of

611
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:42,519
the days, much as we I'm doing it, I may

612
00:31:42,559 --> 00:31:44,720
be the recipient of my foul.

613
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:49,119
Speaker 3: Not being And that's that's how I feel this year too.

614
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:52,759
I'm like, well, everybody gotta get in line. Moving on

615
00:31:52,839 --> 00:31:56,720
to lighter subjects. Yes, because you are in the fashion space.

616
00:31:56,799 --> 00:31:58,440
I love your personal style.

617
00:31:59,279 --> 00:31:59,559
Speaker 2: You.

618
00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:04,240
Speaker 3: I also feel like you are a creator in the

619
00:32:04,279 --> 00:32:08,079
space as well, like you have you have like cultivated

620
00:32:08,119 --> 00:32:11,839
a space where you have picked like timeless pieces or

621
00:32:12,839 --> 00:32:17,680
just kind of like you've copied and pasted your personal

622
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:20,079
style and now it's available for everybody else. If y'all

623
00:32:20,079 --> 00:32:23,039
ever want to Chopron's closet, go to his stores. I

624
00:32:23,039 --> 00:32:26,119
think it's just like it's all the pieces in your

625
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:31,319
store are just so you. Who would you swap closets with?

626
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:34,240
Speaker 2: Oh?

627
00:32:34,359 --> 00:32:38,440
Speaker 3: Do you have like a fashion icon that you would

628
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:42,599
just like I would swap my closet and a heartbeat?

629
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:46,920
Speaker 2: You know. I wish I could name someone on social

630
00:32:47,599 --> 00:32:50,480
but I'm not good at remembering names. But I will

631
00:32:50,559 --> 00:32:54,799
say that I think Andre Leon Tally to me, was

632
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:57,799
such an icon to me. I loved his big catt hans,

633
00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:01,359
I loved his suiting. My style has shifted a little

634
00:33:01,359 --> 00:33:04,279
bit now where I'm more uniform, like I kind of wear.

635
00:33:04,359 --> 00:33:06,960
It's kind of the same stuff a lot. But at

636
00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:08,319
one point in my life when I was doing real

637
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:10,160
estate and I was still doing well state in fashion,

638
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:11,599
I think my style was a lot of suits, a

639
00:33:11,599 --> 00:33:14,559
lot of tailoring. And I love Andre I love what

640
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:18,279
he represented as a black man. He was so and

641
00:33:18,319 --> 00:33:21,200
I'm so grateful that I started nibbling on him before

642
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:23,039
he passed, because I remember I watched his end. He

643
00:33:23,079 --> 00:33:25,920
had a documentary that came on in television maybe two

644
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:29,359
years before he passed. And he was such an elegant

645
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:33,200
black man. He was so intelligent, he spoke so well.

646
00:33:33,599 --> 00:33:39,480
He was able to authentically transcend different audiences from Paris

647
00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:43,319
and Milan to mostly white focused focused audiences to the

648
00:33:43,359 --> 00:33:47,599
black church and abbassy in Harlem. And I loved his

649
00:33:47,839 --> 00:33:50,599
use of caft hands and like his oversize, like that

650
00:33:50,599 --> 00:33:54,279
that those are some components that I.

651
00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:56,519
Speaker 3: Can see that. Yeah, and you too, I love that.

652
00:33:56,960 --> 00:34:00,319
What fashion trends do you want to get rid of today?

653
00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:00,920
Speaker 1: You're done?

654
00:34:01,039 --> 00:34:02,880
Speaker 3: You're sick of it? Get rid of it?

655
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:08,400
Speaker 2: I get rid of it. I don't know. I feel

656
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:10,880
like you know, when I think about style, I think

657
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:14,719
certain people look good in certain looks, and I think

658
00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:18,280
that I've seen. Like I had on some tight sweats yesterdays.

659
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:20,400
I didn't have anything really in my DC houses. I

660
00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:21,920
had to go and buy me some big sweats and

661
00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:23,639
some big like I need a big clothes, you know.

662
00:34:24,079 --> 00:34:26,239
And I'm like, oh, this doesn't look good on me anymore,

663
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:28,000
you know. But then I looked on Raplauren and I

664
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:32,039
saw the rape Larinne like Paris the Men's Fascial Weekend,

665
00:34:32,039 --> 00:34:34,400
they had more fitted jeans on it. Now the silhouettes

666
00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:36,840
are very large, but the guys look great in the

667
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:40,719
fitted dnim So I think as a true fashion person,

668
00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:45,400
I like anything you wear if it's you. That's how

669
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:47,480
I feel, because it may not look good on me,

670
00:34:47,519 --> 00:34:50,440
like them tight sweats didn't make me feel like how

671
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:51,039
I wanted to be.

672
00:34:51,599 --> 00:34:54,440
Speaker 3: So just own whatever is, whatever you feel connected to,

673
00:34:54,679 --> 00:34:56,400
own it and how you wear it.

674
00:34:56,760 --> 00:35:00,559
Speaker 2: Yes, fitman is important, but I'm not the girl is

675
00:35:00,559 --> 00:35:02,760
gonna be like girl, I gotta go like I want

676
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:04,639
that to trash, Like you know, I might see somebody

677
00:35:04,679 --> 00:35:05,800
and it looks good on them.

678
00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:06,159
Speaker 1: Yeah.

679
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:08,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's a big thing is to recognize,

680
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:10,920
like even if it's something that I wouldn't wear, doesn't mean,

681
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:13,719
it's a bad look, right, I wouldn't wear that, but

682
00:35:14,519 --> 00:35:16,000
it doesn't make it a bad look.

683
00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:19,119
Speaker 2: And that's what makes the world interesting. And I think

684
00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:22,880
that's what makes fashion interesting. It's like, oh, like that's cute,

685
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:24,519
Like I wouldn't have put up that's cute. Like you know,

686
00:35:24,559 --> 00:35:28,400
it's like, you know, like I appreciate a little wild card.

687
00:35:29,639 --> 00:35:31,679
Speaker 3: Okay, So last thing before moving to our next segment.

688
00:35:32,079 --> 00:35:35,119
What would you want people to remember about you? What

689
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:37,800
is like one lasting thing that you will want people

690
00:35:38,159 --> 00:35:40,599
to especially since you were already building a legacy, Like

691
00:35:40,639 --> 00:35:45,039
even if something happens, you have Ron David Studios cafe.

692
00:35:45,519 --> 00:35:47,639
What is one of the lasting things that you will

693
00:35:47,679 --> 00:35:49,440
want people to remember about you.

694
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:55,360
Speaker 2: I genuinely want people to live and be well. I

695
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:58,440
want them to dress well. I want them to have

696
00:35:58,599 --> 00:36:01,360
nice homes. When I was in real estate, you know,

697
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:04,000
I you know, I would go to every time I said,

698
00:36:04,199 --> 00:36:06,920
this is no shade. But I would every time a

699
00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:08,920
lot of times when I saw black people homes like

700
00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:12,039
they weren't really designed that nice thing inside, you know,

701
00:36:12,119 --> 00:36:14,400
even when they were like big, you know, like and

702
00:36:14,559 --> 00:36:16,800
it was big homes, Like the furniture wasn't bad and

703
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:19,280
I have to eye before yeah, and it's just like,

704
00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:22,440
come on, it's not just a five thousand feet square.

705
00:36:22,519 --> 00:36:25,719
You want nice to core and nice art in your home,

706
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:28,800
and what does that look like? How do you do that?

707
00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:30,599
How do you dress well? It doesn't all have to

708
00:36:30,639 --> 00:36:34,440
be designer. You know, I'm not designer everything, but I

709
00:36:34,519 --> 00:36:37,400
am I look well, I look I look nice and

710
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:41,239
clean and like I want people to know that. I

711
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:43,519
want people to know that you can live well and

712
00:36:43,559 --> 00:36:45,800
what does that look like? That's what I want to

713
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:49,239
disseminate into this earth and authenticity. You don't have to

714
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:51,559
be a wanna bee. You don't have to do that.

715
00:36:52,239 --> 00:36:55,079
You want to find a way to do the best

716
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:57,360
things that you can do with what you have, and

717
00:36:57,440 --> 00:37:01,599
do it well. I love that. I love that good.

718
00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:06,239
Speaker 3: No notes, no notes on that. On to our first voicemail.

719
00:37:06,599 --> 00:37:10,280
Dear to see a voicemail? Is he my husband or

720
00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:11,880
just giving me the creeps?

721
00:37:12,679 --> 00:37:14,800
Speaker 1: Dear to see him? So? I was with my son's

722
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:17,320
father for seven years before we realized that we were

723
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:19,239
just not going to work out. I got into a

724
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:21,599
new relationship with another man who was showing me all

725
00:37:21,679 --> 00:37:24,360
the things and all of the affection that I needed.

726
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:27,559
That didn't work out either. He had five children, five

727
00:37:27,599 --> 00:37:31,360
baby mothers, two dogs. Yeah, I knew this ahead of time,

728
00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:33,320
but I knew him for a long time as well.

729
00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:36,000
Let's just say I dodged that bullet. After eight months

730
00:37:36,039 --> 00:37:38,679
of healing, I met a man who was very intentional.

731
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:41,400
We went on our first date. He brought me red roses.

732
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:44,519
He even wrote me poems. I haven't received a poem,

733
00:37:44,599 --> 00:37:46,880
probably since I was a child, So I was very

734
00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:49,280
excited and impressed about that. But then I started to

735
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:52,440
realize things that I just wasn't too sure about. So

736
00:37:53,039 --> 00:37:55,719
there was an incident where he had to cancel our

737
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:59,239
second date along with his weekend plans out of town

738
00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:01,920
because it's my had a panic attack. Not only that,

739
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:04,079
he just seems to be a very strong pillar in

740
00:38:04,079 --> 00:38:07,559
his family, maybe the only pillar, and that might concern

741
00:38:07,679 --> 00:38:11,000
me as far as where I may fit in his life.

742
00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:13,840
There's something else that was bothering me. He doesn't have

743
00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:16,639
much of a social life either. He is working on

744
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:20,239
his master's degree, which I have been giving him leeway for,

745
00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:23,079
but I don't know. It's just something a little off

746
00:38:23,119 --> 00:38:27,559
about not having friends at all. And the last thing was, yeah,

747
00:38:27,599 --> 00:38:31,079
he wrote me two poems. But the poems began to

748
00:38:31,159 --> 00:38:33,360
come in every other week, and it began to get

749
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:36,000
a little eerie, you know, like, what could you possibly

750
00:38:36,039 --> 00:38:38,480
be thinking about. We haven't gone on a second date,

751
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:41,599
I'm not at we're both not active on social media,

752
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:43,760
so it's not like, you know, we see what each

753
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:45,880
other are doing in our day to day. It became

754
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:49,119
a little scary. So my question to you is, after

755
00:38:49,159 --> 00:38:52,800
these two relationships and meeting this what seems to be

756
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:55,719
intentional guy? I don't want to pass up on a

757
00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:59,639
possible husband, my possible person, but does he seem a

758
00:38:59,639 --> 00:39:02,039
little bit off to you as well? Or should I

759
00:39:02,119 --> 00:39:05,800
just ask more questions to get a little deeper. I'm

760
00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:06,320
not sure.

761
00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:13,960
Speaker 3: When you come from a two, a four will feel

762
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:17,519
like a ten. When you come from a two, a

763
00:39:17,559 --> 00:39:22,360
guy that got five baby mamas, five kids, five baby mamas,

764
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:25,360
and two dogs. Right then, you said you did a

765
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:28,239
little healing. You did some healing, and then you met

766
00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:31,440
someone after that and you said, the first day he

767
00:39:31,519 --> 00:39:36,159
gave you roases and poetry. Right, you came from five

768
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:40,760
kids and five baby mamas. So a two is gonna

769
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:44,159
feel like like when you get to that four after

770
00:39:44,159 --> 00:39:46,480
the two, it's gonna feel like a team gonna fly

771
00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:48,239
like this is the best guy you ever met, because

772
00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:50,639
you're getting poetry, you're getting dates, and you don't have

773
00:39:50,679 --> 00:39:53,440
all this drama and rigamarole. So you really got to

774
00:39:53,559 --> 00:39:56,199
watch that, like that pit and that deficit that you're in.

775
00:39:56,519 --> 00:40:00,280
But also you haven't even gotten to the second day yet,

776
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:02,519
and you already said I don't want to miss out

777
00:40:02,559 --> 00:40:06,000
on my husband. You know, sometimes as women, we find

778
00:40:06,039 --> 00:40:09,119
ourselves just like flapping around. And I want you to

779
00:40:09,199 --> 00:40:11,480
like get a grip. Okay, I want you to pull

780
00:40:11,519 --> 00:40:14,639
things back and sit down and figure out who am I?

781
00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:17,400
Who do I want to be? What kind of person

782
00:40:18,159 --> 00:40:20,519
do I want to attract? What type of person do

783
00:40:20,599 --> 00:40:23,800
I want to invest my time in before I go out?

784
00:40:24,119 --> 00:40:27,199
And I'm like screening all these red flags from people,

785
00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:29,400
and you haven't even made it to the second date.

786
00:40:31,559 --> 00:40:35,000
We just talked about this in a previous episode. The

787
00:40:35,039 --> 00:40:38,079
healing comes after you get off the couch. A lot

788
00:40:38,119 --> 00:40:40,840
of times people like I did some healing, I went

789
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:44,280
to therapy, but you didn't do the work. Therapy happens,

790
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:46,719
and the work of it happens off of that couch,

791
00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:48,159
and I'm gonna tell you this, baby, I don't know

792
00:40:48,159 --> 00:40:50,079
who you went to. I don't know who you talk to.

793
00:40:50,159 --> 00:40:53,320
I don't know you didn't done a sec a two

794
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:55,400
point zero of the men that you used to day before.

795
00:40:56,079 --> 00:40:57,760
I don't know who the baby daddy was, but I

796
00:40:57,760 --> 00:41:00,199
can only presume that that wasn't quite a good relationship.

797
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:03,840
Then you dated and entertained five kids and five baby mamas,

798
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:06,079
and then did a little bit of healing, and now

799
00:41:06,119 --> 00:41:09,679
you're still attracting men that are inconsistent, but your heart

800
00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:12,519
is still fully in it. And that's really my issue

801
00:41:12,519 --> 00:41:16,960
with that. Dating is great, Dating is good exploratory, it's

802
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:20,000
good to really find out what you like and getting

803
00:41:20,039 --> 00:41:23,519
to know people, but you're already positioning this person as

804
00:41:23,599 --> 00:41:26,719
somebody that can be your future and is giving like

805
00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:31,599
my DDD category, dating out of a deficit dehydration and depression.

806
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:34,400
Like this person has been one date. You got a

807
00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:38,440
flower in a rowse a rose, and a poem, and

808
00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:42,039
you're like, he has no friends, he has no social life,

809
00:41:42,519 --> 00:41:44,840
he canceled the second date. Girl, this ain't even a

810
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:47,920
person that we should be in the I don't want

811
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:52,280
to miss my husband category. We have to pull things

812
00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:57,039
back and slow down. And my friend always says, if

813
00:41:57,079 --> 00:41:59,719
you want to figure out if somebody is manipulating you,

814
00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:02,480
slow down because manipulator loves speed. Y'all want me to

815
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:04,320
say it again. If you want to figure out if

816
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:08,239
a man is manipulating you, slow down because a manipulator

817
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:10,199
love speed. They love to do shit quick, fast, in

818
00:42:10,239 --> 00:42:12,400
a hurry. Okay, that's when you get to the love

819
00:42:12,519 --> 00:42:15,239
slow things down, slow things down. When you want to

820
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:18,559
slow things down, it kind of disconnects from the control

821
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:21,360
that people have. And so I think that this is

822
00:42:21,519 --> 00:42:24,519
just a case of dating and getting to know people

823
00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:27,079
and you're finding out that this person is just not

824
00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:30,679
really compatible. It seems like you're ready to like plant

825
00:42:30,679 --> 00:42:32,960
your roots, but you're you don't have a lot of

826
00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:35,840
Like you're not grounded. You need to figure out who

827
00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:38,199
you are and who you want to be before you

828
00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:42,360
go out here. Even considering somebody as your husband and

829
00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:44,880
you have spent even though they haven't spent much time together,

830
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:46,880
Like who is this bend? He canceled the second day,

831
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:49,039
You ain't even no date number two with him? We

832
00:42:49,199 --> 00:42:50,920
have to pull back the arounds. You have any thoughts

833
00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:52,880
about girl?

834
00:42:54,119 --> 00:42:57,840
Speaker 2: So two things I think about my sweetheart is I

835
00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:01,760
think that first thing is I feel like my friend

836
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:04,719
would say, and this is no shade. Sometimes your minded

837
00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:08,079
to reprogramming because the fact that you was dating these

838
00:43:08,119 --> 00:43:10,920
two men that was like baby mama artists means that

839
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:13,920
you may have to readjust your type right when you

840
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:16,360
tell me and I have a little of a as

841
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:18,880
a as a man, I may have a different approach.

842
00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:24,840
But when I hear master's degree, no children working on,

843
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:28,119
that sounds like someone that's looking for that has an

844
00:43:28,159 --> 00:43:31,639
opening for you. Right. If I was to hear that story,

845
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:35,280
I'm like, Okay, he ready seemed like he don't have

846
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:37,119
a lot going on so he can have a woman,

847
00:43:37,239 --> 00:43:39,800
you know. So I'm like, maybe he's a little boring,

848
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:42,639
you know, maybe he needs to recruit direct that writing

849
00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:45,760
energy and write a book. You know, you might have something.

850
00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:49,000
You know, he writes you five poems like let's dig

851
00:43:49,039 --> 00:43:49,440
into that.

852
00:43:49,559 --> 00:43:49,760
Speaker 1: You know.

853
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:52,000
Speaker 2: I think that if you have if you eat a

854
00:43:52,039 --> 00:43:57,440
lot of McDonald's and chee cheese and Wendy's, if you

855
00:43:57,559 --> 00:44:00,960
get a sweet green yes, it's not gonna be as

856
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:04,880
oily and juicy as that burger, but it's gonna help you,

857
00:44:04,880 --> 00:44:08,079
you know, and you might. And I don't know anything, right,

858
00:44:08,159 --> 00:44:11,159
I'm not a dating advice right, I don't know. I

859
00:44:11,159 --> 00:44:14,360
don't have nobody or a man or nothing. But I

860
00:44:14,559 --> 00:44:18,679
was that I would maybe I would maybe say I

861
00:44:18,679 --> 00:44:21,800
don't like I don't like no cancelation, canceling, man, I

862
00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:22,239
hate that.

863
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:26,639
Speaker 3: So and the poem slowed down and first now he's

864
00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:28,239
she's gonna pull him every other week.

865
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:31,880
Speaker 2: That's a little strange. But I would say, girl, you know,

866
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:34,800
I would say, maybe try to put some little water

867
00:44:34,840 --> 00:44:36,199
in your kool aid a little bit and get some

868
00:44:36,239 --> 00:44:37,880
of that sugar out. And I think that's what he

869
00:44:38,079 --> 00:44:38,480
is saying.

870
00:44:41,159 --> 00:44:44,920
Speaker 3: He's saying, you, uh, doped up on the drama and

871
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:47,440
the chaos. That like, maybe somebody that's more of a

872
00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:47,960
cool a.

873
00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:52,639
Speaker 2: Cool yeah, not your husband, but a palate cleanser.

874
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:56,079
Speaker 3: Yeah, but also too, I think the inconsistency needs to

875
00:44:56,119 --> 00:44:58,320
be addressed. And that's like a big thing here, of

876
00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:02,320
the inconsistency. And I think that inconsistency can actually be

877
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:07,199
reversed for somebody that actually is really invested in you

878
00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:09,960
or really even interested. Always say, when a man first

879
00:45:10,039 --> 00:45:13,239
meets you off the bat, he is testing you. So

880
00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:16,679
when you don't read the direct, inconsistent behavior. And now

881
00:45:16,679 --> 00:45:19,079
you're realizing that it's been two weeks, three weeks since

882
00:45:19,079 --> 00:45:22,000
you've gotten a poem, and this person isn't really investing.

883
00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:24,159
You can either take a little bit of energy and

884
00:45:24,199 --> 00:45:26,599
redirect that and see if he rises to the occasion.

885
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:29,280
But I think overall, I don't think he has the

886
00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:33,880
bandwidth of husband material. But my qualm with you is,

887
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:37,119
why is it that you are even considering him as

888
00:45:37,159 --> 00:45:39,840
a husband and you haven't even made it to the

889
00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:40,519
second date.

890
00:45:41,039 --> 00:45:42,800
Speaker 2: This is good. Set a word, he said, speed? What

891
00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:43,480
do you say speed?

892
00:45:43,519 --> 00:45:43,599
Speaker 1: Is?

893
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:44,800
Speaker 2: What do you say about speed?

894
00:45:45,440 --> 00:45:50,119
Speaker 3: Manipulators love speed? If you want to like a manipulator

895
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:53,920
loves speed, slow down, take it slow. And I'm telling

896
00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:57,760
you too. They always say the people that way for marriage,

897
00:45:58,159 --> 00:46:02,480
they the marriages be lasting. They people that wait for marriage. Okay,

898
00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:06,840
look the marriages be working out. Okay, the marriages they stick.

899
00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:09,320
They they're a little they have a little better structure

900
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:11,480
because you're not rushing into things when you don't have

901
00:46:11,559 --> 00:46:14,119
things to other things to focus on. On. All you got

902
00:46:14,119 --> 00:46:17,360
to do is look at somebody's personality, character and how

903
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:20,039
compatible you are with them. They're alignment with God. And

904
00:46:20,079 --> 00:46:22,559
how this relationship gonna work out. You're not being you know,

905
00:46:22,719 --> 00:46:26,639
bamboozled by lusting all this other stuff. You'll find out

906
00:46:26,639 --> 00:46:28,360
real quick who the person really is. A lot of

907
00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:31,159
y'all need to just slow down. You hopping into bed

908
00:46:31,199 --> 00:46:34,599
and hopping into relationships with these people way too fast.

909
00:46:34,679 --> 00:46:38,280
And people again, people that don't have the best intentions.

910
00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:40,039
They look because they want it to go over your head.

911
00:46:40,239 --> 00:46:42,119
They wanted to go so fast you don't catch it.

912
00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:44,480
Slow down if you want to stay there and be there,

913
00:46:44,559 --> 00:46:46,079
he ain't gonna mind that you want to slow the

914
00:46:46,079 --> 00:46:48,119
pace down. Look, a man that like you will wait

915
00:46:48,159 --> 00:46:49,320
for anything that you want to do.

916
00:46:50,079 --> 00:46:50,679
Speaker 2: That's the word.

917
00:46:51,079 --> 00:46:53,199
Speaker 3: A man that likes you will weigh. Oh I'm sorry,

918
00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:56,360
I'm not ready to do that. I'm not comfortable with yet.

919
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:58,000
Oh you know, would you like to come over and

920
00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:01,280
watch a movie? No, I'm not comfortable what they Amanda like?

921
00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:05,559
You will wait? Slow down, girl, you just got out

922
00:47:05,599 --> 00:47:08,960
of this situation a bounce back relationship, and now you

923
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:10,639
anyway as we got time of voice one number two

924
00:47:10,679 --> 00:47:13,559
and dre okay, well he over me. We talked too much?

925
00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:15,840
Speaker 2: Okay.

926
00:47:16,119 --> 00:47:18,599
Speaker 3: Voicemail number two, dear to see you. He said he

927
00:47:18,639 --> 00:47:22,199
wants to keep it professional, but his actions say otherwise.

928
00:47:23,119 --> 00:47:25,000
Speaker 6: Dear to see you. I recently came out of a

929
00:47:25,039 --> 00:47:28,440
long term relationship that involves significant emotional challenges and a

930
00:47:28,519 --> 00:47:31,360
lack of honesty. Since then, I've been intentional about moving

931
00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:34,920
cautiously and prioritizing clarity and emotional safety. Over the summer,

932
00:47:34,960 --> 00:47:37,519
I connected with someone in a professional capacity. We have

933
00:47:37,559 --> 00:47:39,599
a lot of chemistry and it seems like we compliment

934
00:47:39,679 --> 00:47:41,639
each other very well. We ended up going out on

935
00:47:41,639 --> 00:47:44,599
one day early on and which afterwards he stated he

936
00:47:44,679 --> 00:47:47,719
wasn't available for a relationship or anything deeper and wanted

937
00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:50,440
to keep things strictly professional due to his current focus

938
00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:53,559
on work. I respected that boundary and accepted his explanation

939
00:47:53,639 --> 00:47:56,719
without pushing further, especially since I wasn't seeing anything serious

940
00:47:56,760 --> 00:47:59,800
myself at this time. What has been confusing is what's followed.

941
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:02,960
Despite expressing the need to remain professional, he has continued

942
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:05,840
to engage in ways that feel more personal than necessary.

943
00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:08,960
This has included a frequent casual conversations, such as texting

944
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:12,920
about topics I'm related to, our professional interactions, offering rides,

945
00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:17,119
and generally maintaining consistent personal contact maybe every other day

946
00:48:17,239 --> 00:48:18,199
or every other.

947
00:48:18,079 --> 00:48:18,559
Speaker 3: Week or so.

948
00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:21,719
Speaker 6: Most recently, he has expressed interest in moving in the

949
00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:24,719
same location where I live, which added to my uncertainty

950
00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:27,800
about his intentions. I'm trying to understand how to interpret

951
00:48:27,880 --> 00:48:30,199
his behavior. On one hand, it could simply just be

952
00:48:30,280 --> 00:48:33,320
friendliness or lack of awareness around boundaries. On the other,

953
00:48:33,440 --> 00:48:35,880
it feels as though his actions don't fully align with

954
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:39,039
what he originally communicated. I'm also mindful that my past

955
00:48:39,079 --> 00:48:41,480
relationship may make me more sensitive to mixed signals, and

956
00:48:41,519 --> 00:48:43,679
I don't want to project meaning where there may be none.

957
00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:45,719
At the same time, I don't want to ignore patterns

958
00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:48,400
that feel confusing or dismiss my own need for clarity.

959
00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:51,559
I'm unsure whether the best approach is to address this directly.

960
00:48:51,599 --> 00:48:54,000
Should I just casually ast him as intention ask him

961
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:56,599
all we friends, or just step back entirely to avoid

962
00:48:56,639 --> 00:48:57,639
further ambiguity.

963
00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:01,639
Speaker 3: Let me tell you that y'all need to have a

964
00:49:01,679 --> 00:49:05,000
little bit more ego. If a man tell me after

965
00:49:05,039 --> 00:49:07,039
going out on a date with me, so I'll give

966
00:49:07,119 --> 00:49:10,559
you personal access to my life and you like, man,

967
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:13,519
I just want to keep this professional. I'm a move

968
00:49:13,719 --> 00:49:16,639
your little ass right across that road back to the

969
00:49:16,639 --> 00:49:20,280
professional that you wanted to be in. When he texts you,

970
00:49:20,480 --> 00:49:22,719
don't respond if he's not text you about business. Also,

971
00:49:23,039 --> 00:49:27,920
y'all are not working together, so all of this professional

972
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:32,119
talk doesn't even really need to exist. He is testing you.

973
00:49:32,239 --> 00:49:35,760
He's sniffing you out. He's trying to see what boundary

974
00:49:36,039 --> 00:49:38,400
he can cross. He's trying to see if you're gonna

975
00:49:38,519 --> 00:49:41,559
uphold your own boundaries. I don't want to hear nothing

976
00:49:41,559 --> 00:49:43,800
about you moving into my area. I don't want to

977
00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:49,360
hear nothing about you wanted to keep this professional relationship

978
00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:53,000
if it don't include me. I think that we have

979
00:49:53,159 --> 00:49:55,840
gotten in too much of a casual culture with men

980
00:49:55,920 --> 00:50:00,239
that are not like in non platonic spaces. I don't

981
00:50:00,239 --> 00:50:01,800
want to be friends with you. I don't want to

982
00:50:01,880 --> 00:50:04,760
keep a professional relationship. And we kind of pen women

983
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:08,519
as like being mean or everybody don't need to be

984
00:50:08,599 --> 00:50:11,039
your friend. We have to start set in boundaries you want.

985
00:50:11,559 --> 00:50:14,920
You met him professionally, y'all had chemistry. Y'all went on

986
00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:18,440
a date. This man said, Nah, is not for life.

987
00:50:18,719 --> 00:50:22,280
He said, Nah, what's y'all chitchatting about? It's other than

988
00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:25,239
the chit chat, y'all tried to move the needle. He said,

989
00:50:25,480 --> 00:50:27,679
I'm not interested in anything more. I want to keep

990
00:50:27,679 --> 00:50:31,840
a professional what's there to talk about. I ain't mad

991
00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:34,559
at you, big dog, I ain't got no endem sy,

992
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:37,840
no nothing. But you can't come over here. Why are

993
00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:43,199
we always upholding these small little relationships? They hold space,

994
00:50:43,239 --> 00:50:46,960
and I'm telling they leave an emotional impression. They leave

995
00:50:47,119 --> 00:50:51,400
a impression in your DNA when you keep holding frivolous relationships.

996
00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:54,119
If this man is not somebody, either you a friend

997
00:50:54,840 --> 00:50:56,599
and I could call you and tell you about my

998
00:50:56,639 --> 00:51:01,440
deepest problems my family and another man, or you somebody

999
00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:04,119
that I'm trying to pursue everything else in between, it

1000
00:51:04,159 --> 00:51:06,480
doesn't need to exist. And this is not even relationship

1001
00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:08,639
that needs to exist. When he texts you about rides

1002
00:51:08,679 --> 00:51:10,920
and hanging out and talk about I'm moving I may

1003
00:51:10,960 --> 00:51:13,159
move over there. What are you think I should move in?

1004
00:51:14,159 --> 00:51:16,840
It's nothing And I want you to know that like

1005
00:51:17,719 --> 00:51:19,480
a man that really wants to be which is not

1006
00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:22,039
going to show up in confusion. This is confused you,

1007
00:51:22,159 --> 00:51:24,599
confusing you, and you just kind of met this guy.

1008
00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:27,840
You're confused, You're confused on what his intentions are, and

1009
00:51:27,880 --> 00:51:31,760
he's already told you otherwise. You know. I had a

1010
00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:35,559
situation recently that happened with me, and my friend said,

1011
00:51:35,639 --> 00:51:37,920
what do you think the lesson was? And I said,

1012
00:51:38,599 --> 00:51:40,960
I think I was kind of like playing with fire

1013
00:51:41,039 --> 00:51:43,239
and like a little weasel, like I think I was

1014
00:51:43,280 --> 00:51:47,880
too curious about I was like, let me see what

1015
00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:50,119
was going on over there, and I knew damn well

1016
00:51:50,159 --> 00:51:53,280
that I shouldn't have right. A lot of times it's like, well,

1017
00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:55,440
I want to know what does this mean. It don't

1018
00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:58,840
mean shit, it means move on, It don't mean anything.

1019
00:51:59,119 --> 00:52:03,480
We have to stop being curious about confusing behavior. And

1020
00:52:03,480 --> 00:52:05,639
that's actually the trick of it. The trick of it

1021
00:52:05,679 --> 00:52:07,639
is so you don't know what's going on, that you

1022
00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:09,880
become curious about it, and then you end up being

1023
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:12,320
more invested in something than you actually need to be.

1024
00:52:12,559 --> 00:52:15,039
We have to learn how to fire fast and move

1025
00:52:15,079 --> 00:52:19,239
out of situations quicker because you're already confused. And he

1026
00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:22,320
told you flot out, he was cool off you. Let

1027
00:52:22,360 --> 00:52:24,800
me tell you this. We need to also be a

1028
00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:28,000
little bit more sensitive to rejection. I think that a

1029
00:52:28,039 --> 00:52:31,119
lot of us endure more than what we should. A

1030
00:52:31,199 --> 00:52:33,960
man told me, he cooled off me you will. You

1031
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:36,679
will never hear from me again. Where did that energy

1032
00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:37,320
come from?

1033
00:52:37,639 --> 00:52:37,800
Speaker 4: Now?

1034
00:52:37,800 --> 00:52:41,559
Speaker 3: Women are like girl? But he came back. You tell

1035
00:52:41,639 --> 00:52:44,199
me you cool off me once? You could never get

1036
00:52:44,199 --> 00:52:47,239
me on the phone. I don't Where are those girls at? Hello?

1037
00:52:47,480 --> 00:52:49,280
Can we rally up? Can we have a team meeting?

1038
00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:51,440
Where are those girls go? If I go on a

1039
00:52:51,519 --> 00:52:57,280
date with you and you like no, I think we

1040
00:52:57,280 --> 00:53:00,000
should go back to being friends. Baby, you can never

1041
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:02,519
forget my time of day ever again. We need to

1042
00:53:02,519 --> 00:53:05,000
get back to that. You got any last thoughts about that.

1043
00:53:08,079 --> 00:53:08,480
Speaker 6: Period?

1044
00:53:08,599 --> 00:53:14,000
Speaker 3: Anyways, onto our favorite segment segment or bit you smell

1045
00:53:14,039 --> 00:53:17,000
good segment. Now we're doing a little things. You know,

1046
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:18,920
I've been loving gifts lately, so we're doing a little

1047
00:53:18,960 --> 00:53:23,440
thing now. So instead of offering my favorite fragrance, I've

1048
00:53:23,559 --> 00:53:29,800
actually purchased ron a fragrance because of and this fragrance

1049
00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:33,679
is special because I feel like it made me think

1050
00:53:33,760 --> 00:53:38,519
of you, Like I specifically searched and researched fragrances, and

1051
00:53:38,559 --> 00:53:41,559
I feel like this is like my Ron David fragrance.

1052
00:53:41,599 --> 00:53:44,000
So you can you can open it up? Yes, you

1053
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:44,880
can look in the bag.

1054
00:53:44,760 --> 00:54:03,719
Speaker 5: Now, okay, okay, oh, do you have this I know

1055
00:54:03,760 --> 00:54:04,119
you done.

1056
00:54:04,159 --> 00:54:04,719
Speaker 2: I don't have this.

1057
00:54:05,039 --> 00:54:06,559
Speaker 3: I know you don't. This was another thing I would

1058
00:54:06,559 --> 00:54:08,559
try to get some something that I know the person

1059
00:54:08,599 --> 00:54:14,800
doesn't have. Okay, So this is ex Nihilio blue talisman

1060
00:54:15,079 --> 00:54:21,960
out the pot fong. Okay, this is this is hair, juicy,

1061
00:54:22,079 --> 00:54:29,480
crisp and lively. It has Bergermont sparkling, citrus brightness, mandarin orange,

1062
00:54:29,519 --> 00:54:32,199
so a sweet and fresh and ginger. That's a hint

1063
00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:34,119
of spicy zing. So you have to open I need

1064
00:54:34,159 --> 00:54:34,760
you to smell it.

1065
00:54:34,800 --> 00:54:37,079
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, I was literally should I open this? Okay,

1066
00:54:37,079 --> 00:54:40,239
first I have to say, girl, literally, I am out

1067
00:54:40,239 --> 00:54:45,000
of perfume. Fragrant was just like talking. I was like,

1068
00:54:45,039 --> 00:54:48,400
I gotta go over as Tysons after I leave it.

1069
00:54:49,639 --> 00:54:52,239
Speaker 3: It's a dangerous living out here. You just stay in

1070
00:54:52,280 --> 00:54:55,480
them all. Oh wait, the hard notes are orange blossom, creamy,

1071
00:54:55,519 --> 00:54:58,559
floral sweetness, and then our bass notes. We have some musk,

1072
00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:05,480
some angle and gayia wood cedar and ambrick fix. Anyways,

1073
00:55:05,559 --> 00:55:08,000
and I know pronunciation police will be blocked.

1074
00:55:08,639 --> 00:55:12,840
Speaker 4: Okay, so don't you got to go through me?

1075
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:16,880
Speaker 2: This is good, that's right.

1076
00:55:17,239 --> 00:55:17,440
Speaker 1: Yes.

1077
00:55:18,719 --> 00:55:21,039
Speaker 2: Also, I didn't even wear any fragrance today, which is great.

1078
00:55:21,079 --> 00:55:22,639
So this is like this time. I know it's supposed

1079
00:55:22,639 --> 00:55:22,800
to be.

1080
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:25,400
Speaker 3: About to do.

1081
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:27,920
Speaker 2: Yes, I don't rub it up.

1082
00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:32,360
Speaker 3: You gotta you're gonna disrupt the fragrance. She's gotta let

1083
00:55:32,360 --> 00:55:34,599
it it, okay, like spread up.

1084
00:55:37,480 --> 00:55:41,000
Speaker 2: This time? Like this smells like a man that if

1085
00:55:41,039 --> 00:55:42,800
I got in the uber with him, I would be like.

1086
00:55:44,039 --> 00:55:46,400
Speaker 3: M hm, would you be like hmm?

1087
00:55:46,840 --> 00:55:53,119
Speaker 2: I would be like I like it. I feel like

1088
00:55:53,679 --> 00:55:55,800
I like a man. This is a I love it.

1089
00:55:55,800 --> 00:55:57,719
It's a mainly sin and it has little sitters too,

1090
00:55:57,760 --> 00:55:58,400
which is clean.

1091
00:55:58,559 --> 00:55:59,519
Speaker 3: That's what I felt like.

1092
00:55:59,679 --> 00:56:00,000
Speaker 2: I think.

1093
00:56:00,199 --> 00:56:03,199
Speaker 3: I told my sisters we were shopping for I was like,

1094
00:56:03,480 --> 00:56:09,199
I want like grong clean, classy, and I also like

1095
00:56:09,320 --> 00:56:12,480
to buy fragrances for people that is like not their

1096
00:56:12,639 --> 00:56:16,320
normal profile so that they can like have depth to

1097
00:56:16,400 --> 00:56:17,199
their collection.

1098
00:56:17,719 --> 00:56:18,719
Speaker 2: Okay, so you.

1099
00:56:18,719 --> 00:56:20,840
Speaker 3: Have to wear it and then text me and tell

1100
00:56:20,880 --> 00:56:22,639
me how you feel after like a week.

1101
00:56:22,760 --> 00:56:25,760
Speaker 2: I'm wearing it. I love it. If it's in my suitcase,

1102
00:56:25,760 --> 00:56:28,840
it's gonna be on my bag. I love it. Thank you.

1103
00:56:30,480 --> 00:56:34,599
Speaker 3: Okay. So I got that from Norstrum, but y'all can

1104
00:56:34,599 --> 00:56:42,400
get it anywhere. Sack norm call me, okay, but really France.

1105
00:56:43,159 --> 00:56:46,039
Speaker 2: Like this girl, I gotta look that that.

1106
00:56:46,199 --> 00:56:49,840
Speaker 3: Don't rub your wrists together anyways. Well that's all folks

1107
00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:52,519
for this episode of There to See It. Thank you to.

1108
00:56:52,599 --> 00:56:54,199
Speaker 1: Mister having me.

1109
00:56:54,239 --> 00:56:55,320
Speaker 2: This has been such a treat.

1110
00:56:55,559 --> 00:57:19,199
Speaker 3: Yes, we'll see you next time. Y'all in in