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<v Speaker 1>It's Nightside with Dan Ray on WBZ, Boston's news radio.

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<v Speaker 2>Thanks very much, Nicole. As always, yeah, quiet sports night.

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<v Speaker 2>The Bruins need a little time to recoup here. My

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<v Speaker 2>name is Dan Ray. I don't need any time to recoup.

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<v Speaker 2>It's only been twenty hours since we were last together

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<v Speaker 2>just before midnight last night, and here we are for

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<v Speaker 2>a Wednesday night vision of Nightside. We have four great guests,

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<v Speaker 2>interesting topics coming up in the eight o'clock hour. Before

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<v Speaker 2>we get to them, let me tell you Rob Brooks

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<v Speaker 2>is back in the control room. And my name is

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<v Speaker 2>Dan Ray, the aforementioned Dan Ray of Knightside with Dan Ray.

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<v Speaker 2>Very appropriate. I guess we were in our eighteenth year

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<v Speaker 2>here on wb Z, which is a proud iHeartRadio station,

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<v Speaker 2>a legendary radio station on the year since nineteen twenty one,

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<v Speaker 2>not twenty twenty one, but nineteen twenty one. And by

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<v Speaker 2>the way, we will do our eighteenth annual college admissions panel.

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<v Speaker 2>We've done that now. This will be our eighteenth consecutive

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<v Speaker 2>year with Bill Fitzsimmons, the legendary admissions director from Harvard University.

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<v Speaker 2>In Grant Goslin, a Boston College dean of admissions admissions director.

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<v Speaker 2>The titles change a little bit. But if you have

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<v Speaker 2>anyone who is beginning to think about going to college, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm talking kids freshman, sophomore, they should be listening and

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<v Speaker 2>their parents should be listening to but they'll get all

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<v Speaker 2>sorts of tips on how to get into the school

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<v Speaker 2>that you would prefer, what different type schools are out there,

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<v Speaker 2>what schools are looking for, and also how to finance

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<v Speaker 2>that education. So that will be on Monday night, December ninth.

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<v Speaker 2>That's not the first Monday after thanks after Thanksgiving, but

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<v Speaker 2>the second Monday. Now we are going to go to

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<v Speaker 2>our first hour tonight, which is the night Side News Update,

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<v Speaker 2>and joining us to talk about people who are dealing

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<v Speaker 2>with either mental illness or get depressed around the holidays.

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<v Speaker 2>Most people enjoy the holiday and they look forward to

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<v Speaker 2>the holidays, but not everyone. So with us is doctor

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<v Speaker 2>Mark Longs Joe. He is a licensed social worker program

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<v Speaker 2>director at McLain Hospital. Dr Longs Joe, Welcome to NIGHTSID.

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<v Speaker 2>How are you tonight, sir?

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<v Speaker 3>Hello Dan Ray, nice to talk with you, and please

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<v Speaker 3>just refer to me as Mark. I know doctor with

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<v Speaker 3>my name. I'm a social worker and proud of it.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, Well, when it says doctor on the the piece

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<v Speaker 2>of paper that I have, I always But that's fine,

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<v Speaker 2>we'll leave it at Mark as well. You call me Dan, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>tell us what's going on here, because I know that

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<v Speaker 2>over the course of my lifetime, particularly you know, when

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<v Speaker 2>I was single, you have a breakup with a girlfriend

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<v Speaker 2>or something like that and be a lonely Christmas time.

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<v Speaker 2>But there are people who every year, as they go

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<v Speaker 2>through life, have a tougher time dealing with the holidays.

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<v Speaker 2>And I read that article that you folks had produced

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<v Speaker 2>from McLean's and found that it was not only sixty

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<v Speaker 2>four percent of individuals, according to the National Alliance of

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<v Speaker 2>Mendale Illness living with mental Illness that believe that their

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<v Speaker 2>conditions worseen around the holidays, but thirty eight percent of

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<v Speaker 2>the entire population. I had no idea that many people

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<v Speaker 2>we're having that sort of reaction. As the year was

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<v Speaker 2>ending and the bells were ringing and people were singing

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<v Speaker 2>and all that. It's counterintuitive.

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<v Speaker 3>Mark tell us, why, Oh, that's right, Dan, that's right.

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<v Speaker 3>It is counterintuitive. You'd like to think of this as

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<v Speaker 3>the merriest time of year, but when really it's filled

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<v Speaker 3>with some of the most pressure. If you really think

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<v Speaker 3>about what we have to deal with during this time

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<v Speaker 3>of year. There's so many expectations. Everybody wants the perfect

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<v Speaker 3>holiday season, and we're reminded of all of the expectations

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<v Speaker 3>as we go through life and think about, well, this

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<v Speaker 3>is going to be the best holiday ever. But we

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<v Speaker 3>know that the expectations have to be set in reality

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<v Speaker 3>and oftentimes, especially like at this particular time, just a

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<v Speaker 3>week before Thanksgiving, it's a really important time to think

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<v Speaker 3>about how to plan ahead for what really is a

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<v Speaker 3>very pressure filled season. As happy as it is, there

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<v Speaker 3>are a lot of different pressures, whether it be you know,

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<v Speaker 3>go ahead in but you know.

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<v Speaker 2>I can identify with what you're saying. There's pressures depending

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<v Speaker 2>upon who you need to consider buying gifts for. And

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<v Speaker 2>you know, if you purchase a gift for if you're

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<v Speaker 2>a single and you purchase a gift for someone that's

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<v Speaker 2>over the top, does that send them? You know, you've

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<v Speaker 2>got to find the gift that fits the moment in time.

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<v Speaker 2>How many gifts do you get for your kids when

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<v Speaker 2>you have kids? What do you do about gifts for grandchildren,

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<v Speaker 2>which we're beginning to think about or are thought about

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<v Speaker 2>now for a couple of years. Some parents will say, well, no, no,

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<v Speaker 2>one gift is so you have all of that, and

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<v Speaker 2>people who who don't have that family that surrounds them

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<v Speaker 2>and that has to be difficult as well. I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>this is much more complicated that I think I anticipated

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<v Speaker 2>when I was discussing this with my producer today, and

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<v Speaker 2>obviously you've studied it for a long time. What can

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<v Speaker 2>people do if they're feeling down? I mean, do they

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<v Speaker 2>just accept it and say, Hey, that's the circumstances that

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<v Speaker 2>I'm in and next year it might be better. Or

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<v Speaker 2>did they just say, hey, here's what I can do.

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<v Speaker 2>I can watch the Three Stooges marathon all day or

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<v Speaker 2>something or bad Santo kind of a cultural.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, you're right, you're right, and there are so many

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<v Speaker 3>people who are stuck in loneliness and it's a very

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<v Speaker 3>sad situation. And what we encourage to do is really

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<v Speaker 3>take an inventory of what are the activities that make

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<v Speaker 3>them happy? And sometimes it's hard to find one or two,

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<v Speaker 3>but if we can, if we can find one or

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<v Speaker 3>two activities and really surround ourselves with people, places and

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<v Speaker 3>things that just make us feel a little bit better.

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<v Speaker 3>That's one place to start. And you know, it is

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<v Speaker 3>a really difficult season because you look around and sometimes

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<v Speaker 3>when when somebody's lonely and they look around and they

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<v Speaker 3>see all these other people happy, it makes them feel

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<v Speaker 3>like they're an outcast, that this is not normal. Well,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm here tonight to also talk about how it is

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<v Speaker 3>normal to feel like that. It is difficult to sometimes

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<v Speaker 3>get into that holiday spirit, and so I try to

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<v Speaker 3>encourage people to really check themselves, take an inventory of

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<v Speaker 3>what is it about the holiday season, What is it

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<v Speaker 3>about the holiday season that makes you happy, and really

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<v Speaker 3>try to drill down and figure out specific things. Is

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<v Speaker 3>it putting up the decorations, is it driving around and

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<v Speaker 3>looking at lights? Is it singing in the choir? But

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<v Speaker 3>I think we also have to do the exact other task,

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<v Speaker 3>and that is taking an inventory of what are the

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<v Speaker 3>things that are really triggering What are some of the

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<v Speaker 3>things that really make it difficult to get through this season?

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<v Speaker 3>And you know, you can go down that list too,

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<v Speaker 3>of feeling lonely, feeling isolated, missing a loved one, grieving

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<v Speaker 3>the loss of somebody that that has passed away, and

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<v Speaker 3>then of course you know the idea of while other

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<v Speaker 3>years I've really spent too much, I've really eaten too much,

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<v Speaker 3>and oftentimes I've really drank too much. And so now's

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<v Speaker 3>the time, just before Thanksgiving, we're about to enter this season.

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<v Speaker 3>There's a lot of planful things that you can do

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<v Speaker 3>to really make sure that you identify how can I

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<v Speaker 3>make this a happier time for me?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, just such great advice, really, Mack. That's I hope

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<v Speaker 2>people hear this, and I hope if they have someone

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<v Speaker 2>who may find themselves in a difficult spot, particularly during

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<v Speaker 2>the upcoming few weeks of the year, they can listen

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<v Speaker 2>to this interview at nightside and demand tomorrow it'll be

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<v Speaker 2>posted at the top of the eight o'clock hour. And

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<v Speaker 2>I was joking with you, and so I want to

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<v Speaker 2>end on an upbeat note. And one of the movies

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<v Speaker 2>that they then some friends of mine, including my son,

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<v Speaker 2>insists as a Christmas tradition is watching Bad Sand with

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<v Speaker 2>Billy Bob Thornton. If you have seen the movie.

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<v Speaker 4>Have you seen that movie?

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, it's a good one.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean it's a classic movie in many respects,

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<v Speaker 2>not what we call it traditionally classic movie. But anyway,

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<v Speaker 2>I wanted to end on an upbeat note, and Mark,

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<v Speaker 2>I really enjoyed the conversation and I'd love to have

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<v Speaker 2>you back at some point.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, Oh good, thank you so much, Dan. I really

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<v Speaker 3>appreciate it. Good to talk with you. And seems a

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<v Speaker 3>little bit strange to say, but let's enjoy a rainy

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<v Speaker 3>day tomorrow finally.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, you know that's exactly it. I'm going to get

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<v Speaker 2>up and I get to go tomorrow to the dentist.

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<v Speaker 2>So it's gone. I hate going to the dentist, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>it's just terrified. My hope is so it'll be. It

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<v Speaker 2>will set the mood. As with the Windshiel wipers. You

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<v Speaker 2>can probably explain that to me what my issues are here,

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<v Speaker 2>but we'll let you. We'll let go.

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<v Speaker 3>Hey, it's on your shopping list of self care, right,

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<v Speaker 3>your shopping list of self care.

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, Mark, thanks again, and let's love to have you

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<v Speaker 2>back anytime. You You were really a great guest. You

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<v Speaker 2>dealt with a tough issue and you did it well.

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<v Speaker 2>Mark launch License, Sosal, work and program director at McLain Hospital.

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<v Speaker 2>Thanks Mark, we'll talk again. Okay, Happy Thanksgiving yours by

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<v Speaker 2>the way, Okay, thank you and to you thank you.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, coming up another part of the holiday season

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<v Speaker 2>that can be kind of a downer, as things like

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<v Speaker 2>lysteria and food born illness. We're going to talk with

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<v Speaker 2>an expert, a us DA food safety specialist when we

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<v Speaker 2>come back, Sooya Satar, about how to avoid it's a

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<v Speaker 2>good plan to avoid listeria and food born illness. This

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<v Speaker 2>is not something that you want to have a tradition

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<v Speaker 2>in your holidays. We'll get back to you right here

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<v Speaker 2>on Nightside after this very quick break.

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<v Speaker 1>Now back to Dan Ray live from the Window World

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<v Speaker 1>night Side Studios on WBZ News Radio.

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<v Speaker 2>As we approach Thanksgiving and of course later on Honekah

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<v Speaker 2>and Christmas, the holiday season into the New Year's lots

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<v Speaker 2>of food, lots of activities, but one thing you have

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<v Speaker 2>to be worried about is the risk of listeria and

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<v Speaker 2>food born illness during the holidays. With us is a

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<v Speaker 2>USDA US Department of Agriculture food Safety specialist, Soya Satar. Soya,

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<v Speaker 2>I've never had listeria. I'm not exactly sure what it is,

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<v Speaker 2>but it doesn't sound good. How do we prevent the

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<v Speaker 2>risk of listeria and food borne illness? Particularly at this

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<v Speaker 2>very special time of year.

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<v Speaker 5>Hello, Dan, it's a pleasure to be on your show today.

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<v Speaker 5>So I just want sorry, I should have.

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<v Speaker 2>I should have said hello, but I wanted to get

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<v Speaker 2>right to the issue. So thank you, thank you great,

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<v Speaker 2>thanks you so much. And so yeah, you know what

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<v Speaker 2>I'm trying to understand here is what's the problem and

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<v Speaker 2>how do we prevent falling into this problem?

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<v Speaker 1>Right?

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<v Speaker 5>So, when it comes to food born onness, we have

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<v Speaker 5>a few key tips that we offer here at the USDA,

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<v Speaker 5>especially with a busy holiday season like Thanksgiving. So one

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<v Speaker 5>of those is washing your hands and avoiding cross contamination.

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<v Speaker 5>So you want to make sure that you're cleaning your

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<v Speaker 5>hands any services utensils that come into contact with ROM

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<v Speaker 5>the impultry products both and after you're cooking with soap

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<v Speaker 5>and water. You also want to make sure that you're

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<v Speaker 5>keeping your lommi and pultry products separate from any other

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<v Speaker 5>items like vegetables. So when you're cooking, so you want

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<v Speaker 5>to make sure that you're using different cutting boards, different

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<v Speaker 5>knives and such, just prevents that costs intamination. Another really

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<v Speaker 5>big tip that we give is when you are serving

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<v Speaker 5>your foods to your guests or things getting you want

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<v Speaker 5>to make sure you're not leaving it outside for too long.

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<v Speaker 5>So you want to make sure your food is not

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<v Speaker 5>at room temperature, so that would be between forty degrees

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<v Speaker 5>fahrenheit and one hundred degrees fahrenheit for more than two hours,

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<v Speaker 5>because when your food is in at the temperature for

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<v Speaker 5>more than two hours, you run the risk of getting

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<v Speaker 5>food born illness. So what you want to do is

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<v Speaker 5>keep your hot foods hot. So that can include a

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<v Speaker 5>shaping dish, a warmer and such that keeps the food

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<v Speaker 5>temperature at above one hundred and forty degrees fahrenheit, or

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<v Speaker 5>cold fruits cold. That would be putting items like your

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<v Speaker 5>dips in a bowl on ice in order to keep

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<v Speaker 5>them below forty degree fahrenheit. So that way you can

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<v Speaker 5>keep your food out longer and enjoy it with no worries.

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<v Speaker 2>Boy, I'll tell you that's a lot to digest. Pardon

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<v Speaker 2>the pun, but it's really good advice. And one of

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<v Speaker 2>the things that I'm I guess I'm probably a little,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know, a little overly cautious. I love to

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<v Speaker 2>rinse things with hot water, put them in the dishwasher,

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<v Speaker 2>and clean up and uh and not leave stuff around

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<v Speaker 2>because the worst to talk about. You know, you have

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<v Speaker 2>a nice to get together with friends and you find

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<v Speaker 2>out that someone that the next day or maybe even yourself,

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<v Speaker 2>ended up getting sick because some mistake was made. The

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<v Speaker 2>point that you made about keeping the meats, whether it's

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<v Speaker 2>turkey or ham, different cutting boards, different utensils to use,

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<v Speaker 2>and to wash them frequently. I suspect that that is

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<v Speaker 2>probably the best, best subject, best suggestion, and it should

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<v Speaker 2>be more of this congestion. It should be a mandate

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<v Speaker 2>that people should.

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<v Speaker 5>Follow, right, So we definitely recommend, you know, using those

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<v Speaker 5>separate utensils. Well, like you said, the cleaning is also

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<v Speaker 5>really big aspect. So what we recommend is for a

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<v Speaker 5>few clean any surfaces that were used with in the

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<v Speaker 5>cooking period with soap and water and then apply a sanitizer.

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<v Speaker 5>So an easy homide version is to use a solution

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<v Speaker 5>of one tablespoon of liquid chlorine bleach per gallon of water,

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<v Speaker 5>or you can use the commercial sanitizer or sanitizing wavee

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<v Speaker 5>just so you can have peace of mind that everything

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<v Speaker 5>really is clean.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I how long have we known all about these?

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<v Speaker 2>You know, it's great now that there's food experts like

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<v Speaker 2>you who'll come and do a radio show and remind

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<v Speaker 2>people of this. But what were people doing one hundred

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<v Speaker 2>years ago, you know, or or even more one hundred

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<v Speaker 2>and fifty years ago. They were celebrating Thanksgiving, they were

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<v Speaker 2>celebrating the holidays. Did they have better discipline than we do,

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<v Speaker 2>did or were people getting sick back then? I'm just

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<v Speaker 2>trying to understand how this has evolved. I mean, everybody

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<v Speaker 2>now should know a lot of the things that you

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<v Speaker 2>said they should They should take really seriously if they

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<v Speaker 2>want to make sure that their guests have a pleasant

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<v Speaker 2>time or they have a pleasant time when they go

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<v Speaker 2>out somewhere. But when did this focus and this concern

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<v Speaker 2>about listeria and food born illnesses? How did that bubble

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<v Speaker 2>up to the surface or just was it always there?

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<v Speaker 5>I'd say it's definitely a huge priority, of course for

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<v Speaker 5>our agency. While I don't know exactly what people may

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<v Speaker 5>have been doing one hundred years ago, the reason we

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<v Speaker 5>do our work today is because it is a bigger

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<v Speaker 5>issue than people might think. So the CDC estimates that

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<v Speaker 5>around forty million people do get sick from food born

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<v Speaker 5>illnesses every year, and around one hundred and twenty eight

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<v Speaker 5>thousand of those people end up in the hospital and

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<v Speaker 5>around three thousand of those may result in depth annually

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<v Speaker 5>from food borne illness. So it is a really large

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<v Speaker 5>issue and that's why we, you know, do the work

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<v Speaker 5>that we do speaking with people like yourself to try

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<v Speaker 5>and get our message out there of just keeping your

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<v Speaker 5>food safe, keeping yourself safe, your community safe. And also

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<v Speaker 5>we have a great resource through our Meat Impultry hotline.

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<v Speaker 5>So this is a hotline that's staffed by food safety

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<v Speaker 5>experts who are able to answer any questions that public

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<v Speaker 5>may have about food safety around meat and poultry products.

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<v Speaker 5>So you're able to call them actually at one what's that?

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<v Speaker 2>What's that? What's that number?

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<v Speaker 4>So you.

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<v Speaker 5>Yes, the number is one triple eight six seven four

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<v Speaker 5>six eight five four or one triple eight MP hotline,

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<v Speaker 5>the food safety specialists. You can speak to them ten

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<v Speaker 5>am to six pm Monday through Friday, and they're actually

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<v Speaker 5>open on Thanksgiving Day from eight am to two pm Eastern.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, so again, let's just do that number one more time,

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<v Speaker 2>a little more slowly. I was trying to write it

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<v Speaker 2>down and people give people thirty seconds though, so to

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<v Speaker 2>get themselves a piece of paper and a pen, because

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<v Speaker 2>this might be a number that you want to have

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<v Speaker 2>available in the kitchen. If there's any questions, it's a

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<v Speaker 2>it's one triple eight, and then what's the actual phone number?

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<v Speaker 5>Of course, one triple eight six seven four six eight

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<v Speaker 5>five four. An easy way to remember that is also

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<v Speaker 5>one triple eight MP hotline, MP hotline.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, that's that's a great suggestion, one triple eight six

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<v Speaker 2>seven four six eight five four. Soya, thank you very much.

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<v Speaker 2>A lot of good information there. You know, it's funny

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<v Speaker 2>coming on earlier this week we had that whole e

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<v Speaker 2>coli outbreak from of all things organ organic carrots, and

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<v Speaker 2>you know, you look at stuff in the store now

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<v Speaker 2>and it says organic, Casika. Well, that's got to be safe.

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<v Speaker 2>Because it says organic. You just never know, You just

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<v Speaker 2>never know. Thank you so much. Hope you and your

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<v Speaker 2>family have great holidays starting with Thanksgiving right through the

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<v Speaker 2>new year.

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<v Speaker 3>You as well.

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<v Speaker 5>Thank you so much.

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<v Speaker 2>By say okay, thank you very much. Well, we get

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<v Speaker 2>back to talk about something called soulmate parenting. I had

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<v Speaker 2>never heard of soulmate parenting, but we're going to be

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<v Speaker 2>talking with doctor Joshua Coleman. He's a clinical psychologist, a

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<v Speaker 2>senior fellow with a Council on Contemporary Families. I learned

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<v Speaker 2>a little bit about this in the last hour or

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<v Speaker 2>so as reading some prep notes for the show, a

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<v Speaker 2>piece out of the Washington Post soul made parenting. It

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<v Speaker 2>might be it may be misnamed, I'll or maybe not

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<v Speaker 2>or maybe not. We'll leave you with that tease. Coming

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<v Speaker 2>back on Nightside right after the News at the bottom

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<v Speaker 2>of the hour.

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<v Speaker 1>It's night Side with Boston's News Radio.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, welcome back, Thank you very much, Nicole. As

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<v Speaker 2>we move ahead, we are talking about a concept of

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<v Speaker 2>soulmate parenting and we're talking with doctor Joshua Coleman. Doctor Coleman,

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<v Speaker 2>Welcome to Nightside, Welcome to Boston. How are you, sir,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm good.

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<v Speaker 4>Thank you for having me on your show.

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<v Speaker 2>You were more than welcome, that is for sure. When

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<v Speaker 2>I read soulmate parenting, that's the first time I've heard

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<v Speaker 2>the term. I thought it was parents not giving enough

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<v Speaker 2>attention to their children, that maybe the parents were still

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<v Speaker 2>considered themselves first soulmates and second parents. But that's not

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<v Speaker 2>quite what it is. So why don't you explain what

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<v Speaker 2>it actually is that I just thought that the title

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<v Speaker 2>kind of led me in a different direction. Of what

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<v Speaker 2>it was when I finally figured out I was wrong,

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<v Speaker 2>Go right ahead.

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<v Speaker 4>Sure, Yeah, well, so maate parenting is this new idea

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<v Speaker 4>that parents were of supposed to be everything for their children.

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<v Speaker 4>They're supposed to be therapists, they're supposed to be learning

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<v Speaker 4>disability specialist. They're supposed to be coaches, they're supposed to

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<v Speaker 4>be best friends and psychological diagnosticians. And if they're not,

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<v Speaker 4>then their kids later in life can go well, I

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<v Speaker 4>had a learning disability and you didn't see it, or

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<v Speaker 4>I had add and you didn't see it. Or I

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<v Speaker 4>was depressed when I was younger and you didn't see it.

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<v Speaker 4>Therefore I don't have a relationship with you. So it's

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<v Speaker 4>this idea now that parents have to basically do everything

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<v Speaker 4>in order to earn an ongoing relationship with their children

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<v Speaker 4>when their children become adults. And I think it's a

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<v Speaker 4>very problematic concept.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, how does soul made parenting as you, as you

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<v Speaker 2>act very clearly and distinct distinctively, describe it, How does

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<v Speaker 2>that differ from another concept that I had heard about

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<v Speaker 2>called helicopter parenting?

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<v Speaker 4>Right? Well, so all made parenting is not only helicopter parenting,

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<v Speaker 4>but it's the idea that you're supposed to know all

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<v Speaker 4>these things about your child that you couldn't necessarily know.

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<v Speaker 4>Like helicopter parenting is kind of giving your child, you know,

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<v Speaker 4>the best life that you can give them in terms

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<v Speaker 4>of tutor ring and the like. But soul my parenting

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<v Speaker 4>is that your souls is supposed to be their best friend.

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<v Speaker 4>You're supposed to be psychological, you're supposed to have a

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<v Speaker 4>bunch of other aspects to who you are as a

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<v Speaker 4>parent person and as a parent in order to earn

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<v Speaker 4>a continued place in your child's life. And that's right.

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<v Speaker 2>So to keep it simple, soul made parenting is sort

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<v Speaker 2>of helicopter parenting on steroids.

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<v Speaker 4>You're right, yeah, exactly right.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, So how do parents when they're in it, they

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<v Speaker 2>can look back twenty years later or thirty years later

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<v Speaker 2>when the kid says something to them, like is in

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<v Speaker 2>the article that out of the Washington Post that we

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<v Speaker 2>looked at. You never noticed this, so you didn't see

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<v Speaker 2>that you will, and by the way, it's your column.

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<v Speaker 2>It was your column which appeared earlier this month in

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<v Speaker 2>the Washington Post. Uh. And you started off by saying

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<v Speaker 2>that this is not autobiographical, but you. It's someone who

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<v Speaker 2>said that this son sent them a no contact letter

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<v Speaker 2>saying that he realized in therapy that he'd been depressed

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<v Speaker 2>in his childhood and was angry at the parent for

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<v Speaker 2>not recognizing it. How many people have fallen into this

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<v Speaker 2>this this circumstance or this situation. That's got to be

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<v Speaker 2>a tough, tough letter for a no contact letter from

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<v Speaker 2>your kid because you paid too much attention to the kid,

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<v Speaker 2>I guess is what this the bottom line is here?

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<v Speaker 4>Well there they're not saying that you paid too much

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<v Speaker 4>attention like this child that. And I see these letters

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<v Speaker 4>every day because I specialize in printal estrangement parents whose

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<v Speaker 4>adult children have cut them off, and I every daisy

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<v Speaker 4>letters like this from adult children. Well, you didn't see

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<v Speaker 4>that I was depressed, You didn't get me the right

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<v Speaker 4>kind of help for my add or you didn't do

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<v Speaker 4>recognize other parts of me. And if you had, I'd

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<v Speaker 4>be a very different person today. And I just think

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<v Speaker 4>it's a guilt trip.

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<v Speaker 2>What a huge guilt trip. Well no, I'm serious, what

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<v Speaker 2>a guilt trip. No, you would think you would think

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<v Speaker 2>that any rational person. And I want to defend the

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<v Speaker 2>parent here, just in theory right, and i'd let to

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<v Speaker 2>get your reaction. You would think that any rational person,

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<v Speaker 2>even if they felt that way, would not put the

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<v Speaker 2>burden on the parent, but would say, look, maybe the

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<v Speaker 2>school system failed him. Maybe that this should have been

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<v Speaker 2>a teacher who should have said, gee, he doesn't seem

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<v Speaker 2>to be able to pay attention in class. Does he

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<v Speaker 2>have ADHD? Maybe there's a school counselor this is like

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<v Speaker 2>throwing it all on the parent. And I talk about

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<v Speaker 2>this is a guilt trip on steroids.

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<v Speaker 4>Well it's a guilt trip. But yeah, you're absolutely right,

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<v Speaker 4>And it's also to your point, kind of making the

421
00:23:55.160 --> 00:23:58.519
<v Speaker 4>parent responsible for all kinds of things that they're not

422
00:23:58.640 --> 00:24:02.359
<v Speaker 4>necessarily responsible for. I mean, you can come into adults

423
00:24:02.480 --> 00:24:06.319
<v Speaker 4>and with significant depression or anxiety or lack of confidence

424
00:24:06.519 --> 00:24:10.720
<v Speaker 4>or problems with relationships and still come from a really good, loving,

425
00:24:11.200 --> 00:24:14.759
<v Speaker 4>decent home. Either you could have problems because of genetics

426
00:24:14.960 --> 00:24:17.640
<v Speaker 4>or the era that you're growing up in, which is

427
00:24:17.680 --> 00:24:20.279
<v Speaker 4>by being particularly challenging, like right now, for gen z

428
00:24:20.440 --> 00:24:24.279
<v Speaker 4>those born between nineteen nine, I forgive the age, but.

429
00:24:25.400 --> 00:24:29.079
<v Speaker 2>Nineteen ninety six in twenty twelve, I'm not a Genzer,

430
00:24:29.160 --> 00:24:32.200
<v Speaker 2>as you probably can tell, right, right, And they have

431
00:24:32.200 --> 00:24:35.680
<v Speaker 2>a little to make sure I know what I have.

432
00:24:36.039 --> 00:24:38.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm a baby boomer. Okay, so yeah, me too.

433
00:24:39.119 --> 00:24:42.519
<v Speaker 4>So right, So that goods is they're especially vulnerable to

434
00:24:42.559 --> 00:24:45.200
<v Speaker 4>depression and anxiety. And it's not because their parents have

435
00:24:45.319 --> 00:24:47.359
<v Speaker 4>all failed them. It's because they're growing up with cell

436
00:24:47.400 --> 00:24:51.160
<v Speaker 4>phones and they're constantly having to compare themselves to other

437
00:24:51.319 --> 00:24:55.160
<v Speaker 4>kids who supposedly are doing better. But we've developed as

438
00:24:55.279 --> 00:24:58.359
<v Speaker 4>very therapeutic culture. And I'm a psychologist, but we're sort

439
00:24:58.359 --> 00:25:01.680
<v Speaker 4>of making young people feel like, well, if you have problems,

440
00:25:01.720 --> 00:25:03.319
<v Speaker 4>that you just need to look back on the ways

441
00:25:03.319 --> 00:25:06.559
<v Speaker 4>that you were traumatized, you know, in childhood. And yeah,

442
00:25:06.680 --> 00:25:08.680
<v Speaker 4>a lot of people are traumatized. A lot of people,

443
00:25:09.079 --> 00:25:11.559
<v Speaker 4>you know, really have a right to be upset that

444
00:25:11.599 --> 00:25:14.160
<v Speaker 4>their parents didn't treat them well. But a lot of

445
00:25:14.200 --> 00:25:17.519
<v Speaker 4>parents today, perfectly good, normal, loving parents are getting cut

446
00:25:17.519 --> 00:25:20.680
<v Speaker 4>off by their adult children for reasons that any other

447
00:25:20.799 --> 00:25:22.519
<v Speaker 4>generation would have considered absurd.

448
00:25:23.640 --> 00:25:26.440
<v Speaker 2>Well, you know, it's funny. I think you and I

449
00:25:26.519 --> 00:25:30.200
<v Speaker 2>probably are from the same school and probably had similar experiences.

450
00:25:30.519 --> 00:25:34.640
<v Speaker 2>But when I read a story about some gen zs,

451
00:25:34.680 --> 00:25:36.640
<v Speaker 2>and I'm not anti gen Z, but when I read

452
00:25:36.640 --> 00:25:41.240
<v Speaker 2>some story about gen zs being upset because in a

453
00:25:41.279 --> 00:25:46.000
<v Speaker 2>freshman class of college there was some professor who talked

454
00:25:46.039 --> 00:25:49.279
<v Speaker 2>about a subject that made them feel uncomfortable, and they

455
00:25:49.319 --> 00:25:53.759
<v Speaker 2>want some sort of you know, a safe space, a

456
00:25:53.799 --> 00:25:58.000
<v Speaker 2>safe room, maybe at a comfort pet. And I'm thinking

457
00:25:58.000 --> 00:26:02.400
<v Speaker 2>to myself, how did these eighteen year old olders, young

458
00:26:02.440 --> 00:26:06.720
<v Speaker 2>people today, how did they come here with the eighteen

459
00:26:06.759 --> 00:26:09.119
<v Speaker 2>year old kids in nineteen forty four who hit the

460
00:26:09.160 --> 00:26:14.079
<v Speaker 2>beaches at Normandy. Well, I wasn't born despite, I wasn't

461
00:26:14.119 --> 00:26:16.359
<v Speaker 2>born in nineteen forty four. Okay, so let me make

462
00:26:16.400 --> 00:26:19.839
<v Speaker 2>that very clear. But what the hell I mean? You

463
00:26:19.880 --> 00:26:22.960
<v Speaker 2>talk about a tough problem, and so you've got some

464
00:26:23.000 --> 00:26:28.759
<v Speaker 2>professor who's giving you a B minus because right, well,

465
00:26:28.759 --> 00:26:32.960
<v Speaker 2>how do we get that generation out? Right?

466
00:26:33.000 --> 00:26:35.720
<v Speaker 4>Well, a lot of younger adults are coming into therapy

467
00:26:35.799 --> 00:26:39.599
<v Speaker 4>and they're saying, well, you emotionally abused me for things

468
00:26:39.599 --> 00:26:42.160
<v Speaker 4>that in the parents' generation certainly would have would have

469
00:26:42.240 --> 00:26:45.799
<v Speaker 4>been considered abusive in any way. And the parents want

470
00:26:45.839 --> 00:26:48.519
<v Speaker 4>to say, and they offer do to say, you know, abuse,

471
00:26:48.599 --> 00:26:50.279
<v Speaker 4>what I gave you a childhood I would have killed for.

472
00:26:50.319 --> 00:26:52.359
<v Speaker 4>If you want to see an abusive childhood, you should

473
00:26:52.359 --> 00:26:54.720
<v Speaker 4>have seen what I grew up in and which, of course,

474
00:26:54.839 --> 00:26:57.559
<v Speaker 4>isn't the best way to start a conversation. No, happy,

475
00:26:57.680 --> 00:27:00.839
<v Speaker 4>we become wait, wait to protect of our red children.

476
00:27:01.039 --> 00:27:04.079
<v Speaker 4>We've become way too worried about the world being dangerous.

477
00:27:04.119 --> 00:27:07.240
<v Speaker 4>So younger generations just haven't been exposed to the kind

478
00:27:07.279 --> 00:27:09.960
<v Speaker 4>of things that older generations have, so the world just

479
00:27:10.039 --> 00:27:12.640
<v Speaker 4>does feel more dangerous and threatening to them.

480
00:27:13.240 --> 00:27:15.200
<v Speaker 2>Hey, I remember when I was a twelve year old kid,

481
00:27:15.279 --> 00:27:18.200
<v Speaker 2>ten year old kid. Uh, we had we literally had

482
00:27:18.240 --> 00:27:23.599
<v Speaker 2>drills at our small little uh Boston. Get under your desk,

483
00:27:23.880 --> 00:27:31.240
<v Speaker 2>you were under attack. Yeah, that's kind of traumatizing. Second

484
00:27:31.359 --> 00:27:37.720
<v Speaker 2>roll right, yeah, right, yeah, just unbelievable. Look, I really

485
00:27:37.799 --> 00:27:41.759
<v Speaker 2>enjoyed this conversation. It probably seemed a little irreverent to you,

486
00:27:41.799 --> 00:27:43.400
<v Speaker 2>but I'm kind.

487
00:27:43.200 --> 00:27:47.480
<v Speaker 4>Of now guy. Yeah, No, I think this topic deserves

488
00:27:47.480 --> 00:27:50.079
<v Speaker 4>a certain degree of irreverence. I'm with you on Matt.

489
00:27:50.680 --> 00:27:55.720
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and you sound to me like the sort of psychologist,

490
00:27:56.279 --> 00:28:00.559
<v Speaker 2>a psychiatrist that can actually help people becau because people

491
00:28:00.839 --> 00:28:03.039
<v Speaker 2>at different times during your life, everyone needs help. But

492
00:28:03.079 --> 00:28:06.119
<v Speaker 2>for all the gender ors who are thinking about how

493
00:28:06.119 --> 00:28:08.599
<v Speaker 2>tough it is out there in the world. When you

494
00:28:09.039 --> 00:28:12.160
<v Speaker 2>didn't get that date on Saturday night, or your date

495
00:28:12.200 --> 00:28:15.880
<v Speaker 2>didn't show up. Just think about Normandy and Utah Beach

496
00:28:16.039 --> 00:28:19.880
<v Speaker 2>and Sword Beach and June sixth, nineteen forty four, if

497
00:28:19.920 --> 00:28:22.160
<v Speaker 2>you want to talk about kind of being in a

498
00:28:22.200 --> 00:28:25.359
<v Speaker 2>tough sort of situation where you really did need a

499
00:28:25.400 --> 00:28:26.680
<v Speaker 2>safe place of.

500
00:28:26.839 --> 00:28:29.359
<v Speaker 4>Safe room, right right exactly.

501
00:28:30.279 --> 00:28:34.160
<v Speaker 2>I enjoyed. I enjoyed our conversation very much. Is there

502
00:28:34.200 --> 00:28:37.119
<v Speaker 2>any sort of a book? Sometimes many of my guests

503
00:28:37.119 --> 00:28:39.240
<v Speaker 2>have written a book and they like to refer to

504
00:28:39.359 --> 00:28:42.759
<v Speaker 2>our clinical psychologist and a senior fellow with the Council

505
00:28:42.839 --> 00:28:45.920
<v Speaker 2>and contemporary Families and your articles in the Washington Post

506
00:28:46.200 --> 00:28:51.200
<v Speaker 2>how soul may parenting hurts parent child relationships tell us

507
00:28:51.240 --> 00:28:54.720
<v Speaker 2>about Is there somewhere that people can will get more information?

508
00:28:56.200 --> 00:28:56.519
<v Speaker 2>Sure that?

509
00:28:56.680 --> 00:28:59.119
<v Speaker 4>Yeah. My newest book is called Rules of the Strange, Right,

510
00:28:59.400 --> 00:29:01.839
<v Speaker 4>Why I Don't children cut ties? And how to Heal

511
00:29:01.880 --> 00:29:05.240
<v Speaker 4>the conflict? And they can learn more about me and

512
00:29:05.279 --> 00:29:10.000
<v Speaker 4>my services at my website TRIPLEW dot doctor Joshua Coleman

513
00:29:10.279 --> 00:29:12.559
<v Speaker 4>dot com. And I'm all over the internet, so I'm

514
00:29:12.599 --> 00:29:13.799
<v Speaker 4>really easy to find.

515
00:29:14.480 --> 00:29:18.680
<v Speaker 2>Doctor Joshua Cooleman dot dot com. Okay, great, Doctor Coleman

516
00:29:18.720 --> 00:29:22.799
<v Speaker 2>really really enjoyed it and hope to have you, have

517
00:29:22.960 --> 00:29:25.240
<v Speaker 2>to have you on again. And I actually wrote one

518
00:29:25.240 --> 00:29:27.839
<v Speaker 2>piece for the Washington Post many many years ago on

519
00:29:27.880 --> 00:29:31.680
<v Speaker 2>the a tribute to Tip O'Neil when he retired as speaker.

520
00:29:31.839 --> 00:29:34.519
<v Speaker 2>The Post actually allowed to cover him for many years

521
00:29:34.559 --> 00:29:37.720
<v Speaker 2>as a political reporter here in Boston, and they wanted

522
00:29:37.720 --> 00:29:40.640
<v Speaker 2>a sort of a piece from a Boston perspective in

523
00:29:40.720 --> 00:29:43.519
<v Speaker 2>nineteen eighty six. So I had one piece at the

524
00:29:43.640 --> 00:29:45.039
<v Speaker 2>Washington Post that was it.

525
00:29:45.759 --> 00:29:48.880
<v Speaker 4>Well, that's that's impression. And those are the days when

526
00:29:48.920 --> 00:29:52.319
<v Speaker 4>the government sort of worked, as you know, the Republicans

527
00:29:52.319 --> 00:29:54.519
<v Speaker 4>and Democrats actually kind of collaborated together.

528
00:29:54.640 --> 00:29:57.200
<v Speaker 2>So and that was kind of at a better time

529
00:29:57.240 --> 00:30:01.920
<v Speaker 2>in many respects. Doctor Joshua Coleman loved the interview. Love

530
00:30:02.000 --> 00:30:05.720
<v Speaker 2>you you you. I think you're a philosophical soul made

531
00:30:05.720 --> 00:30:07.079
<v Speaker 2>here man. We'll talk soon.

532
00:30:08.799 --> 00:30:11.319
<v Speaker 4>Thank you for having me on. I appreciate it.

533
00:30:11.440 --> 00:30:13.839
<v Speaker 2>You're more than welcome. Thank you. We get back when

534
00:30:13.880 --> 00:30:17.960
<v Speaker 2>we talk about gen Z and they now are going

535
00:30:18.039 --> 00:30:22.920
<v Speaker 2>for TikTok videos as opposed to resumes. My instinct on

536
00:30:23.039 --> 00:30:26.640
<v Speaker 2>that is basically good luck with that kids. We'll be

537
00:30:26.680 --> 00:30:30.240
<v Speaker 2>back with Julie Balki, President and Chief Career strategist at

538
00:30:30.240 --> 00:30:33.920
<v Speaker 2>the Buki Group. We'll talk about this back on Nightside.

539
00:30:34.920 --> 00:30:37.880
<v Speaker 1>Now back to Dan ray Line from the Window World

540
00:30:38.039 --> 00:30:41.160
<v Speaker 1>nights Stand Studios on w b Z News Radio.

541
00:30:42.839 --> 00:30:46.160
<v Speaker 2>Want to welcome back Julie Balki. Julie's the president and

542
00:30:46.240 --> 00:30:50.240
<v Speaker 2>chief career strategist at the Balkie Group career coaching firm. Julie,

543
00:30:50.279 --> 00:30:51.319
<v Speaker 2>welcome back to Nightside.

544
00:30:51.319 --> 00:30:54.240
<v Speaker 6>How are you hey, Thanks, thanks for having me.

545
00:30:54.839 --> 00:30:57.000
<v Speaker 2>Great to have you back, and we're talking again about

546
00:30:57.039 --> 00:31:02.400
<v Speaker 2>gen Z. I just ended up talking with a clinical psychologist,

547
00:31:02.680 --> 00:31:07.519
<v Speaker 2>doctor Joshua Coleman, last hour about what they call soulmate parenting,

548
00:31:07.599 --> 00:31:10.680
<v Speaker 2>where a lot of young people, I guess gen z

549
00:31:10.960 --> 00:31:15.559
<v Speaker 2>Is are are blaming their parents because their parents weren't

550
00:31:16.200 --> 00:31:19.559
<v Speaker 2>you know, had a relationship which was very supportive, but

551
00:31:19.599 --> 00:31:26.039
<v Speaker 2>they didn't diagnose problems. And the doctor who we just

552
00:31:26.079 --> 00:31:29.799
<v Speaker 2>have was a little skeptical of, you know, finger pointing

553
00:31:30.440 --> 00:31:36.119
<v Speaker 2>by members of Generation gen Z, but they But the

554
00:31:36.160 --> 00:31:38.640
<v Speaker 2>area that we're going to talk about is that when

555
00:31:38.680 --> 00:31:40.640
<v Speaker 2>you and I were young, back in the well, at

556
00:31:40.720 --> 00:31:43.759
<v Speaker 2>least when I was young in the last century, uh,

557
00:31:43.839 --> 00:31:47.079
<v Speaker 2>you polished your resume and maybe you even sent a

558
00:31:47.079 --> 00:31:49.880
<v Speaker 2>cover letter with the resume resume when you were applying

559
00:31:49.880 --> 00:31:52.799
<v Speaker 2>for a job or inquiring if there were jobs available.

560
00:31:53.119 --> 00:31:56.839
<v Speaker 2>But gen Z now has decided they're going TikTok baby

561
00:31:56.880 --> 00:32:01.400
<v Speaker 2>all the way, TikTok videos and forget this resume stuff.

562
00:32:01.440 --> 00:32:05.359
<v Speaker 2>It's a much much too old school. What's going on?

563
00:32:07.000 --> 00:32:09.880
<v Speaker 6>Well, yeah, and not only did we polish up our resumes,

564
00:32:09.880 --> 00:32:12.599
<v Speaker 6>do you remember going to the store and buying high

565
00:32:12.680 --> 00:32:16.319
<v Speaker 6>quality paper and envelopes that match so you could then

566
00:32:16.680 --> 00:32:21.640
<v Speaker 6>put them in the mailbox. Yeah, it has changed. And

567
00:32:21.720 --> 00:32:25.759
<v Speaker 6>I've been in this world of like career coaching since

568
00:32:26.200 --> 00:32:29.200
<v Speaker 6>you know, the very late nineties, and so I have

569
00:32:29.400 --> 00:32:33.799
<v Speaker 6>seen I remember that time and then still doing it

570
00:32:33.880 --> 00:32:37.039
<v Speaker 6>now and it's literally in some ways a one to

571
00:32:37.079 --> 00:32:40.119
<v Speaker 6>eighty and some ways it isn't. The essence of it

572
00:32:40.160 --> 00:32:43.319
<v Speaker 6>is still the same. If you are looking for a role,

573
00:32:44.359 --> 00:32:50.759
<v Speaker 6>you want people, you want the decision makers to understand

574
00:32:50.920 --> 00:32:55.000
<v Speaker 6>who you are, and limiting that to a two page

575
00:32:55.039 --> 00:32:58.799
<v Speaker 6>resume is always hard. It's hard, but it's always the

576
00:32:58.839 --> 00:33:02.799
<v Speaker 6>way it was done. So now we have social media,

577
00:33:03.039 --> 00:33:07.480
<v Speaker 6>we have ai is writing our resumes for us, and

578
00:33:07.559 --> 00:33:11.160
<v Speaker 6>so we have all these things that in some ways

579
00:33:11.359 --> 00:33:13.400
<v Speaker 6>make it harder for people to get to know us

580
00:33:13.400 --> 00:33:15.759
<v Speaker 6>in some ways make it easier. So let's go through

581
00:33:15.759 --> 00:33:19.119
<v Speaker 6>an example. Let's say that you're applying for a job.

582
00:33:19.440 --> 00:33:24.599
<v Speaker 6>An employer is interested in you. Smart employers are going

583
00:33:24.680 --> 00:33:29.359
<v Speaker 6>well beyond typical reference checking, just calling the people whose

584
00:33:29.400 --> 00:33:32.559
<v Speaker 6>names should give them, and they're googling you. They're seeing

585
00:33:32.640 --> 00:33:35.640
<v Speaker 6>what is your social media presence? How do you show

586
00:33:35.839 --> 00:33:39.000
<v Speaker 6>up in the world? And you and I are listening

587
00:33:39.079 --> 00:33:42.160
<v Speaker 6>to that, going, oh heavens, I'm so glad that wasn't

588
00:33:42.160 --> 00:33:45.279
<v Speaker 6>a thing, right, I mean, I I'd hate to have,

589
00:33:45.400 --> 00:33:46.559
<v Speaker 6>like twenty something.

590
00:33:46.359 --> 00:33:50.359
<v Speaker 2>Thought dodge that bullet dodge that we did.

591
00:33:50.799 --> 00:33:54.160
<v Speaker 6>We certainly did so, so they're like, okay, so who

592
00:33:54.240 --> 00:33:57.119
<v Speaker 6>is this person? You know, what is their social media presence?

593
00:33:57.680 --> 00:33:59.720
<v Speaker 6>So and when you're applying for a job, you may

594
00:33:59.759 --> 00:34:02.000
<v Speaker 6>not know they do that. All you know is you

595
00:34:02.079 --> 00:34:05.519
<v Speaker 6>never get a callback. So some savvy gen zers, and

596
00:34:05.559 --> 00:34:09.800
<v Speaker 6>this is where you have to start really thinking about

597
00:34:10.000 --> 00:34:12.880
<v Speaker 6>what type of job are you applying for and what's

598
00:34:12.920 --> 00:34:15.320
<v Speaker 6>the best way to show who you are. So this example,

599
00:34:15.400 --> 00:34:19.519
<v Speaker 6>this story was telling the stories about these gen zers

600
00:34:19.599 --> 00:34:24.960
<v Speaker 6>who said, I'm going to hopefully catapult myself to the

601
00:34:25.000 --> 00:34:29.599
<v Speaker 6>top of the pile and do something different and you know,

602
00:34:29.719 --> 00:34:34.360
<v Speaker 6>even twenty years ago, job seekers did things to stand

603
00:34:34.360 --> 00:34:38.199
<v Speaker 6>out that weren't always appropriate, weren't always appreciated. So we've

604
00:34:38.239 --> 00:34:40.320
<v Speaker 6>got in this case, we've got let's say you're applying

605
00:34:40.320 --> 00:34:43.599
<v Speaker 6>to be an accountant at an insurance company. I absolutely

606
00:34:43.719 --> 00:34:47.320
<v Speaker 6>do not recommend you make a TikTok video. You know

607
00:34:47.400 --> 00:34:50.960
<v Speaker 6>it's not. So you've got to know where you're applying to.

608
00:34:52.079 --> 00:34:56.440
<v Speaker 7>You have to know, don't make a TikTok video contextum

609
00:34:57.039 --> 00:34:59.880
<v Speaker 7>with some sort of a rap song about adding int

610
00:35:00.039 --> 00:35:04.159
<v Speaker 7>attracting and convinced your numbers.

611
00:35:04.159 --> 00:35:06.920
<v Speaker 2>Guy, I got it, Okay, I got that all right.

612
00:35:07.000 --> 00:35:09.159
<v Speaker 6>So I looked at a couple of these videos that

613
00:35:09.239 --> 00:35:11.840
<v Speaker 6>these gen zs made applying for a talk, and they

614
00:35:11.880 --> 00:35:15.400
<v Speaker 6>were very well done. And making a TikTok video is

615
00:35:15.400 --> 00:35:18.559
<v Speaker 6>a lot harder than people think it is, and so

616
00:35:18.800 --> 00:35:22.559
<v Speaker 6>it's a way to show your personality in a way

617
00:35:22.639 --> 00:35:25.679
<v Speaker 6>that it does make you stand out. But in both

618
00:35:25.679 --> 00:35:28.119
<v Speaker 6>of these cases, they were applying for jobs in which

619
00:35:28.639 --> 00:35:32.400
<v Speaker 6>social media was a big part of the company's presence,

620
00:35:32.480 --> 00:35:34.039
<v Speaker 6>the big part of the company's marketing.

621
00:35:34.719 --> 00:35:34.960
<v Speaker 3>It was.

622
00:35:35.039 --> 00:35:37.800
<v Speaker 6>One was an internship with Barstool Sports, which is Dave

623
00:35:37.840 --> 00:35:41.440
<v Speaker 6>Portnoy he's everywhere on social media, so you have to

624
00:35:41.480 --> 00:35:45.719
<v Speaker 6>make sure that you're matching your approach to applying for

625
00:35:45.760 --> 00:35:49.480
<v Speaker 6>a job, to the to the culture.

626
00:35:49.840 --> 00:35:52.840
<v Speaker 2>The saw that TikTok video that you're referring to. I

627
00:35:52.880 --> 00:35:57.280
<v Speaker 2>saw the TikTok videos you're referring referring to, and I

628
00:35:57.320 --> 00:36:00.320
<v Speaker 2>thought to some extent that the young woman was kind

629
00:36:00.360 --> 00:36:01.599
<v Speaker 2>of trying a little too hard.

630
00:36:01.639 --> 00:36:08.000
<v Speaker 6>If you get my drift, you thought, yes, see interpretation. Yeah,

631
00:36:09.559 --> 00:36:12.079
<v Speaker 6>So it's you know, you have to be careful, is

632
00:36:12.119 --> 00:36:14.360
<v Speaker 6>all I'm saying. You have to think. So if the

633
00:36:14.400 --> 00:36:19.119
<v Speaker 6>people making the decision are boomers or gen X, you're

634
00:36:19.159 --> 00:36:21.880
<v Speaker 6>not going to get the same reaction as if they

635
00:36:21.880 --> 00:36:25.199
<v Speaker 6>are peers of yours and they're super impressed with your creativity.

636
00:36:25.760 --> 00:36:28.400
<v Speaker 6>So it's it's it's a really tricky line to walk.

637
00:36:28.480 --> 00:36:31.559
<v Speaker 6>We haven't completely crossed over yet to the point where

638
00:36:31.599 --> 00:36:35.960
<v Speaker 6>a resume typical resumes are obsolete, but we may someday.

639
00:36:37.280 --> 00:36:39.639
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I guess. I mean probably at some point in

640
00:36:39.719 --> 00:36:44.079
<v Speaker 2>the future, we will be able to time travel and

641
00:36:44.519 --> 00:36:50.840
<v Speaker 2>basically materialize inside the office of the person who's interviewing you.

642
00:36:51.079 --> 00:36:53.239
<v Speaker 2>Just materialized magically or something. I don't know.

643
00:36:54.039 --> 00:36:55.719
<v Speaker 6>I do think you know what I'm still waiting for.

644
00:36:56.280 --> 00:36:59.119
<v Speaker 6>I'm still waiting for the flying car from the Jetsons

645
00:36:59.159 --> 00:36:59.760
<v Speaker 6>that we were.

646
00:36:59.599 --> 00:37:02.599
<v Speaker 2>Prob Oh's on the way. Don't worry, Elon's working on that.

647
00:37:03.000 --> 00:37:03.360
<v Speaker 4>Probably.

648
00:37:03.960 --> 00:37:07.679
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I guarantee you. Look. It's always your great guest

649
00:37:07.719 --> 00:37:10.679
<v Speaker 2>and I enjoyed it much. I still think time resume

650
00:37:11.039 --> 00:37:13.880
<v Speaker 2>and a discreete photograph, headshot or whatever you want to

651
00:37:13.920 --> 00:37:18.320
<v Speaker 2>call it is good. And also, you know, being good

652
00:37:18.320 --> 00:37:21.719
<v Speaker 2>in the telephone I think is a really lost skill.

653
00:37:22.519 --> 00:37:27.440
<v Speaker 6>That the communication skills are drastically missing, and companies are

654
00:37:27.440 --> 00:37:30.559
<v Speaker 6>even saying they're having to retrain their new employees and

655
00:37:30.639 --> 00:37:31.880
<v Speaker 6>basic communication skills.

656
00:37:32.559 --> 00:37:34.840
<v Speaker 2>You got it, You've got it, doctor Julie Blkie, thank

657
00:37:34.880 --> 00:37:37.679
<v Speaker 2>you so much, as always one of our favorite guests.

658
00:37:37.880 --> 00:37:40.079
<v Speaker 2>How can folks get in touch with you with the Bulkie.

659
00:37:39.760 --> 00:37:43.599
<v Speaker 6>Group, Well, the Balkiegroup dot com it's b a u

660
00:37:43.719 --> 00:37:46.320
<v Speaker 6>k E. But I'm also on Instagram and TikTok as

661
00:37:46.400 --> 00:37:48.519
<v Speaker 6>Julie on the job and your.

662
00:37:48.480 --> 00:37:52.000
<v Speaker 2>Career coaching firms, and that's important. So maybe people who.

663
00:37:51.920 --> 00:37:55.639
<v Speaker 6>Want to help to get career happy.

664
00:37:56.039 --> 00:37:59.000
<v Speaker 2>Oh that's all we're trying. I've been trying that for

665
00:37:59.039 --> 00:38:05.119
<v Speaker 2>a long time. No, I never give up, never quit,

666
00:38:05.280 --> 00:38:08.840
<v Speaker 2>never quit trust me, Thanks very much. We won't quit

667
00:38:08.920 --> 00:38:10.880
<v Speaker 2>you either, because we got the news coming up. And

668
00:38:10.920 --> 00:38:13.920
<v Speaker 2>on the other side, we're going to inform you of

669
00:38:14.000 --> 00:38:18.039
<v Speaker 2>the the no school status in Gloucester, Beverly and Marblehead.

670
00:38:18.400 --> 00:38:20.320
<v Speaker 2>I think you probably know what it's gonna be, but

671
00:38:20.360 --> 00:38:22.400
<v Speaker 2>we'll let you know right after the nine. And I

672
00:38:22.440 --> 00:38:26.519
<v Speaker 2>want to talk more seriously, very seriously about the spate

673
00:38:26.679 --> 00:38:30.920
<v Speaker 2>of school strikes. I think it's improper. I think something

674
00:38:30.960 --> 00:38:35.039
<v Speaker 2>should be done. And the Globe editorial page was fabulous today.

675
00:38:35.599 --> 00:38:37.440
<v Speaker 2>Mark that down. Might be one of the few times

676
00:38:37.440 --> 00:38:40.880
<v Speaker 2>I'll have a site the Globe editorial editorial as being fabulous.

677
00:38:40.920 --> 00:38:42.239
<v Speaker 2>Back on Nights side right after this