WEBVTT

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, hey, hey, I'm bad. Why are so many people single?

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<v Speaker 1>Why are so many people single these days? I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 1>tell you mine view and opinion. I think people are

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<v Speaker 1>just tired. They're tired of the crap. They're tired of

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<v Speaker 1>the lies, they're tired of the cheating, they're tired of

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<v Speaker 1>the immaturity.

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<v Speaker 2>So they would rather be by themselves. Do people really

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<v Speaker 2>want to be alone? Of course not. People would rather

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<v Speaker 2>be with someone, but they're not.

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<v Speaker 1>Ready to or willing to just be with anyone just

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<v Speaker 1>to say that they're in a relationship, like a.

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<v Speaker 2>Lot of people are.

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<v Speaker 1>A lot of people will be in a relationship because

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<v Speaker 1>they are like, okay, it's mother. I'd rather have some

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<v Speaker 1>man than no man at all. I'd rather have some

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<v Speaker 1>woman than no woman at all.

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<v Speaker 2>When you have.

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<v Speaker 1>Nothing, you have nothing, just a body, and a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of people not even enjoying that body because that person

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<v Speaker 1>don't even want you in that way, or you don't

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<v Speaker 1>want that person in that way.

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<v Speaker 2>It's just companionship. It's sad.

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<v Speaker 1>A lot of you say, oh, I want a good man,

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<v Speaker 1>I want a good woman.

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<v Speaker 2>But you're not even a good person.

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<v Speaker 1>You want someone that treats you this way and that way,

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<v Speaker 1>but you are not a good person, and you know it.

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<v Speaker 1>That's why it's so important to know yourself and to

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<v Speaker 1>love yourself. It's so important to get into relationships with

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<v Speaker 1>the right people in the right ways, for the right reasons.

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<v Speaker 1>You have to know what you want. You have to

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<v Speaker 1>know what you need. You have to know there's a

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<v Speaker 1>difference between wants and needs. Too many are looking for

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<v Speaker 1>the superficial. The superficial will never ever hold a relationship together.

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<v Speaker 2>Never.

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<v Speaker 1>Superficial things are just that, they will never ever help

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<v Speaker 1>you in your relationship.

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<v Speaker 2>It will not foster growth. But so many people.

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<v Speaker 1>Go after the superficial, the looks, the possessions, money, titles, positions, power,

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<v Speaker 1>status of that individual. A lot of people get into

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<v Speaker 1>relationships not knowing the person, not trying to get to

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<v Speaker 1>know the person, just going after what those eyeballs can see.

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<v Speaker 2>You have to be specific.

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<v Speaker 1>You must know what you want, you must know what

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<v Speaker 1>you need. If you're looking for a true and lasting relationship,

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<v Speaker 1>most of you, or most people, I.

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<v Speaker 2>Should say, don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>You have to know the characteristic you're looking for, and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not talking about that superficial stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>If you're looking for the superficial, you clearly literally have

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<v Speaker 2>some maturity to.

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<v Speaker 1>Do, because you are not on that level yet, you

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<v Speaker 1>clearly have maturing to do. Some people are very well

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<v Speaker 1>in age, very well up in age, and they're still

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<v Speaker 1>doing foolishness because they have a matured mentally. So you

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<v Speaker 1>must know what you need in another person, and that

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<v Speaker 1>person must be someone who enhances your life. If you

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<v Speaker 1>decide to get in a relationship with someone and that

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<v Speaker 1>person is taken from you and draft you down, that

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<v Speaker 1>is not the right person for you. You have allowed

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<v Speaker 1>your heart to lead you in an unhealthy relationship. I

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<v Speaker 1>know that Biblically, the man is the head of the household,

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<v Speaker 1>godly man, not just any man. A godly man is

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<v Speaker 1>the head of the household. I get all of that.

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<v Speaker 1>I get all of that, But that does not mean

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<v Speaker 1>the woman should not contribute. Some women think, oh, I

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<v Speaker 1>have a baby. I got a baby by him. That's hey,

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<v Speaker 1>that's it, boop, ind of the story. Bottom line, I

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<v Speaker 1>have a baby, So what you still should contribute to

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<v Speaker 1>the relationship. That's my opinion as a woman, and I

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<v Speaker 1>can say it because I did it. If you've decide

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<v Speaker 1>to get in a relationship with someone, you have to

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<v Speaker 1>see past your feelings and your eyeballs, because what you're

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<v Speaker 1>gonna be stuck with is what you're gonna be stuck with.

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<v Speaker 1>Some men they all they see this eye can then

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<v Speaker 1>they lose their minds. Well, that is not gonna help

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<v Speaker 1>foster and grow a healthy relationship. So you get with

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<v Speaker 1>this ie can do, who has nothing to contribute to

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<v Speaker 1>the relationship, and then down the road you regretful because

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<v Speaker 1>now you looking for her to contribute. Well, you have

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<v Speaker 1>to think about those things in the beginning, not just women,

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<v Speaker 1>but men too. Women get with men who have nothing

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<v Speaker 1>to bring to the table. That is ridiculous, especially a man.

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<v Speaker 1>Now you gotta take care of him. You're going off

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<v Speaker 1>the work. He don't even have a car.

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<v Speaker 2>Now he's driving your car while you're It makes no sense.

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<v Speaker 2>Bottom line is what.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm trying to say is if they do not enhance

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<v Speaker 1>your life, make your life better.

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<v Speaker 2>You have chosen wrong.

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<v Speaker 1>I just believe that there is no way I would

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<v Speaker 1>want to be with someone who's pulling me down, who's taking, taking,

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<v Speaker 1>and not contributing anything.

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<v Speaker 2>No way.

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<v Speaker 1>Some women are worn down and out because they have children,

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<v Speaker 1>they're working outside of the home, the doing everything in

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<v Speaker 1>the home, because you have not put any requirements on him.

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<v Speaker 1>He just go to work and come home and chill

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<v Speaker 1>while you do everything, because that's because you have not

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<v Speaker 1>put any requirements on him. A man can clean, wash

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<v Speaker 1>and everything else that a woman does, and if he's

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<v Speaker 1>working outside the house and she's working outside the house,

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<v Speaker 1>then he definitely should contribute inside.

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<v Speaker 2>It's just in life. In reality, you just have to

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<v Speaker 2>know what you need.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not saying a person that's gonna be on the

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<v Speaker 1>exact same level as you, No, I'm not saying that,

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<v Speaker 1>but they definitely should be bringing positivity and contributing to

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<v Speaker 1>the relationship. And when they can't, you have chosen wrong.

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<v Speaker 1>You have allowed your heart to lead you into a

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<v Speaker 1>relationship that you more than likely.

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<v Speaker 2>Shouldn't even be in. I'm just saying the truth hurts.

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<v Speaker 1>The truth doesn't feel good, I know, but it's also necessary.

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<v Speaker 2>It's reality.

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<v Speaker 1>You must know yourself and love yourself first of all,

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<v Speaker 1>and you must know and understand.

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<v Speaker 2>What you need and what you want.

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<v Speaker 1>You must because when you don't, you're going to get

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<v Speaker 1>into relationships that you should not be in. And unfortunately,

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<v Speaker 1>that's where most people are at, in unhealthy, unhappy relationships.

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<v Speaker 1>With individuals they don't want to be with. They find

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<v Speaker 1>no kind of love in those relationships. And where there's

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<v Speaker 1>no love in the relationship, there is no peace in

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<v Speaker 1>the relationship, and that is why so many people are single.

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<v Speaker 1>People are tired. They're tired of the bullcrap because this

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<v Speaker 1>world is so full of broken people. All they want

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<v Speaker 1>is possessions, money, fame, fortune, love, sex, and so on.

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<v Speaker 1>People don't want to commit a lot of people are

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<v Speaker 1>in relationships, but they're not commit it.

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<v Speaker 2>Who wants that? Who wants that?

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<v Speaker 1>Not a person in their right mind, not a person

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<v Speaker 1>thinking like a mature person.

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<v Speaker 2>But so many people settle, and that's why many most

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<v Speaker 2>are in.

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<v Speaker 1>One side of relationships one person really wanted, really trying,

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<v Speaker 1>the other person careless.

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<v Speaker 2>That's why people get worn out. I do it all.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm tired. I've done it all from the beginning. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>the one who does all the initiating on everything. I

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<v Speaker 1>carry the load. Yeah, and they just enjoyed the ride.

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<v Speaker 1>But that's because you got into the relationship with that mindset.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh I'm gonna please him or I'm gonna please her.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna do everything I can. And you were the

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<v Speaker 1>person who was carrying all the load. You were the

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<v Speaker 1>one who was doing all the initiating. Excuse me, I

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<v Speaker 1>know because I've been there. I got tired too, So

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<v Speaker 1>I can talk about it because I know firsthand, and

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<v Speaker 1>I know many people who feel the same way, tired.

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<v Speaker 2>Because they went into the relationship doing it all.

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<v Speaker 1>So if you find yourself being that person who has

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<v Speaker 1>to initiate everything.

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<v Speaker 2>You need to step back.

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<v Speaker 1>WHOA. You need to check yourself. You need to check yourself.

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<v Speaker 1>Why are you doing it all? Because that will never work.

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<v Speaker 1>It takes two people to make a relationship work, not

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<v Speaker 1>one two. So it is the reason why so many

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<v Speaker 1>people are single.

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<v Speaker 2>They're tired of the crap.

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<v Speaker 1>They're tired of the liars, of the cheaters, of those

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<v Speaker 1>individuals who talk out the side.

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<v Speaker 2>Of their necks. They're tired.

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<v Speaker 1>So they would rather go at it alone than to

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<v Speaker 1>be in a relationship with someone who's not giving them

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<v Speaker 1>what they deserve.

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<v Speaker 2>Flat out.

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<v Speaker 1>There are so many people you wouldn't even believe who

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<v Speaker 1>are in relationships living separately, unhappy and miserable. But they

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<v Speaker 1>say out of their own insecurities. Some people stay out

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<v Speaker 1>of fear because they've messed around and got caught up

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<v Speaker 1>in an unhealthy relationship with an abuser. Some of you

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<v Speaker 1>get into relationships with people you've been into relationships previously,

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<v Speaker 1>and you go back thinking it's going to be better

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<v Speaker 1>the second time around, only to find out it's worse.

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<v Speaker 1>Because most people don't change.

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<v Speaker 2>They act as if they've changed, but the truth comes out.

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<v Speaker 2>So that is.

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<v Speaker 1>Why so many people are single. It doesn't mean something

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<v Speaker 1>is wrong with them. People just don't want to go

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<v Speaker 1>through the crap. Many people are in relationships in love

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<v Speaker 1>by themselves because I told you many episodes ago that

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<v Speaker 1>people get into relationships and based on self meaning based

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<v Speaker 1>on how they feel as an individual, what they want,

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<v Speaker 1>what they desire. So they push forward in their relationships

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<v Speaker 1>based on self, given this and given that, only to

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<v Speaker 1>receive nothing. Because people feel, oh if I get some

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<v Speaker 1>nibless and nuggets, Oh he loved me.

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<v Speaker 2>You know she loved me.

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<v Speaker 1>Because they gave you nibless and nuggets, just enough to

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<v Speaker 1>keep you so they can stay satisfied and receiving what

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<v Speaker 1>they are trying.

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<v Speaker 2>To get out of the relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not because they feel how you feel, and that's

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<v Speaker 1>why relationships end up one sided. If eyes were open

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<v Speaker 1>in the beginning. You would have seen it when you're

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<v Speaker 1>initiating and you're the one who's doing everything. Those are signs,

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<v Speaker 1>those are red flags. But people can't see beyond their

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<v Speaker 1>hearts what they want and what they desire, how they

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<v Speaker 1>feel their thoughts until they get to such a dark place,

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<v Speaker 1>such a place of resentment, hurt and pain.

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<v Speaker 2>Their eyes begin to open.

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<v Speaker 1>But your eyes should be open in the beginning, not

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<v Speaker 1>when it becomes unbearable in the beginning and.

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<v Speaker 2>They bug it in.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just saying, and I know that the truth can hurt.

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<v Speaker 1>So don't look down on people because they're single. Don't

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<v Speaker 1>think something is wrong with the person because they're single.

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<v Speaker 1>Just because you have insecurities and you're somewhere you don't

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<v Speaker 1>want to be with someone you don't want to be with,

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<v Speaker 1>don't look.

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<v Speaker 2>Down on people because they're single.

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's much smarter to be single by yourself,

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<v Speaker 1>enjoying life alone than to be in an unhappy relationship

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<v Speaker 1>living separate only companions.

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<v Speaker 2>That's just my opinion.

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<v Speaker 1>I've seen I've seen it over and over and over.

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<v Speaker 1>I've heard people talk about it. But I just wanted

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<v Speaker 1>to discuss this because it's a real thing.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a real thing.

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<v Speaker 1>And I know for myself being single, there's nothing wrong

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<v Speaker 1>with it. As long as you love yourself, know yourself,

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<v Speaker 1>and you're confident, your self sufficient, it's okay. But for

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<v Speaker 1>those who are single and you're in misery, you're struggling,

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<v Speaker 1>that's because you have some healing to do. You have

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<v Speaker 1>some things internally that you need to deal with, because

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<v Speaker 1>there is a serious problem when a person cannot ever

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<v Speaker 1>be alone.

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<v Speaker 2>Something is wrong inside that needs to be dealt with.

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<v Speaker 2>Some people are.

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<v Speaker 1>Single and they are struggling because of the insecurities inside

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<v Speaker 1>of them. You came into this world by yourself. You

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<v Speaker 1>going out by yourself. You have to embrace and love yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>With or without someone else.

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<v Speaker 1>So I mean, I just want to talk about it,

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<v Speaker 1>and how you live your life is up to you.

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<v Speaker 2>Whatever you choose to live with is up to you.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just putting the information out there and that's all

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna say about it, because single or in a

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<v Speaker 1>relationship is your choice right there.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you so much for listening. Much much much love

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<v Speaker 2>to each and every one of you. I in every

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<v Speaker 2>episode the same and our hope and you do it.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank going it