WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.600 --> 00:00:04.839 Hello, Hi, Welcome back again to Wheel Takes, a podcast 2 00:00:05.240 --> 00:00:08.240 about the Wheel of Time, a series of fantasy books 3 00:00:08.240 --> 00:00:11.640 written by Robert Jordan and completed by Brandon Sanderson. My 4 00:00:11.720 --> 00:00:12.199 name is Gus. 5 00:00:12.199 --> 00:00:14.240 I've read all of them, and I'm Ali, and I'm 6 00:00:14.279 --> 00:00:14.599 on the. 7 00:00:14.560 --> 00:00:17.839 Way exactly where I'm on book. 8 00:00:20.839 --> 00:00:24.519 Thirteen, thirteen thirteen, Chapter eight nine nine. 9 00:00:25.559 --> 00:00:28.000 This podcast only gets spoilers for what I've already read 10 00:00:28.039 --> 00:00:31.199 and again today. That's everything up to and including Towers 11 00:00:31.199 --> 00:00:34.960 of Midnight, chapter nine. We are coming to you today 12 00:00:36.039 --> 00:00:42.719 outside sitting in a green lawn looking at mountains. We're 13 00:00:42.719 --> 00:00:46.880 on the road, so we're recording on a cell phone today. 14 00:00:48.320 --> 00:00:51.039 Might do this one a little bit piecemeal, just because 15 00:00:51.119 --> 00:00:55.079 of the demands of time. But yeah, it's a beautiful 16 00:00:55.119 --> 00:00:57.079 day here where we're at, and I hope it's a 17 00:00:57.079 --> 00:01:02.920 beautiful day where you are. It felt very radio announcer, 18 00:01:03.000 --> 00:01:04.840 but he did, But I don't know. I mean, it's 19 00:01:05.079 --> 00:01:07.439 I'm really tranquil right now. Things are really pretty where 20 00:01:07.439 --> 00:01:10.400 we are. I'm sitting under aspen trees and anytime you're 21 00:01:10.439 --> 00:01:12.959 around ass But there's a tiny little, eaty bitty green 22 00:01:13.000 --> 00:01:16.480 bug crawling on my leg. Look at this, it's so small. 23 00:01:16.640 --> 00:01:20.280 It's so small, I'm gonna gently blow it off. Hold on, 24 00:01:22.719 --> 00:01:26.200 that didn't work. That didn't work. It might just live 25 00:01:26.200 --> 00:01:33.200 here now, Ali, we're here to talk about chapters eight 26 00:01:33.239 --> 00:01:39.280 and nine of Towers of Midnight. Who is the narrator 27 00:01:39.280 --> 00:01:43.439 of these Matt that is one match from Coffin. I 28 00:01:43.439 --> 00:01:46.400 haven't seen him in a bit, as I recall. How's 29 00:01:46.439 --> 00:01:46.920 he doing? 30 00:01:47.200 --> 00:01:51.319 He's all right, he's well, not all right because the 31 00:01:51.359 --> 00:01:53.879 Golamb has finally found him. Yeah, go, which I have 32 00:01:53.920 --> 00:01:58.159 been predicting. I feel like I predicted that on the freaking. 33 00:02:00.079 --> 00:02:01.760 What's it called inga sheet? 34 00:02:01.840 --> 00:02:04.079 Yeah, I'm sure you had it, and it's not there. 35 00:02:04.280 --> 00:02:05.640 That's shocking and hilarious. 36 00:02:05.680 --> 00:02:07.400 But I think that's because I predicted it last year. 37 00:02:07.680 --> 00:02:10.159 Yeah, you've predicted it. I didnk every book for since 38 00:02:10.240 --> 00:02:10.639 book eight. 39 00:02:10.800 --> 00:02:12.919 That's so annoying because. 40 00:02:12.560 --> 00:02:14.439 The last time he had to deal with the Golamb 41 00:02:14.560 --> 00:02:17.000 was on the five Flights of Stairs building. 42 00:02:17.120 --> 00:02:19.879 I honestly forgot he existed the goal. Yeah, because he's 43 00:02:19.919 --> 00:02:22.240 been on ice for five books. 44 00:02:22.400 --> 00:02:25.039 Yeah, he wasn't. Really, he wasn't eight. Actually he was 45 00:02:25.080 --> 00:02:27.759 an eight for like one second, yes, and then he 46 00:02:27.840 --> 00:02:31.680 wasn't in nine wasn't in ten, wasn't in eleven, wasn't 47 00:02:31.680 --> 00:02:33.599 in twelve, or if he was in any of those, 48 00:02:33.639 --> 00:02:38.639 it was just for a snippet. Yeah, but here we 49 00:02:38.680 --> 00:02:40.599 are at thirteen and it looks like he's back and forth. 50 00:02:41.439 --> 00:02:42.879 He is back and forth, and. 51 00:02:44.560 --> 00:02:50.199 I feel like, yeah, I mean he he got away. 52 00:02:50.879 --> 00:02:54.719 He did, which you know classic because we can't we 53 00:02:54.800 --> 00:02:56.599 have to, we have to have all the villains on 54 00:02:56.639 --> 00:02:57.080 the table. 55 00:02:57.879 --> 00:03:01.479 Well, the other question, how how would one kill him? 56 00:03:02.280 --> 00:03:04.759 He's kind of the question. He seems to be borderline on. 57 00:03:04.800 --> 00:03:07.280 It will be something we've got to figure out, or. 58 00:03:07.199 --> 00:03:09.000 Do we even call the Golama? He is more of an. 59 00:03:08.919 --> 00:03:13.039 It like what it left, which leads me to believe 60 00:03:13.080 --> 00:03:15.520 that it can be killed, right, because if not, then 61 00:03:15.560 --> 00:03:21.400 why not just continue on your assault? Well, so then 62 00:03:21.639 --> 00:03:23.479 now I'm like, oh, what were they doing at the 63 00:03:23.520 --> 00:03:24.319 time that it left? 64 00:03:24.360 --> 00:03:26.840 I suppose we also have to remember what was the 65 00:03:26.879 --> 00:03:27.960 other part of its directive? 66 00:03:29.039 --> 00:03:32.080 The other part of its directive was kill everybody, kind 67 00:03:32.080 --> 00:03:34.000 of like associated with Matt as well. 68 00:03:34.080 --> 00:03:38.080 What was the other part of its directive? I don't 69 00:03:38.080 --> 00:03:40.680 remember a void being noticed, if possible. 70 00:03:41.879 --> 00:03:46.280 Well, he was definitely noticed, So that was kind of a. 71 00:03:47.080 --> 00:03:49.800 He definitely was noticed by several people. 72 00:03:49.919 --> 00:03:52.520 We'll get into that when when we reached that. 73 00:03:52.520 --> 00:03:54.120 Second we lost a few guys. 74 00:03:54.199 --> 00:03:56.319 That we lost at least one guy we've known for 75 00:03:56.400 --> 00:04:00.479 quite a long time. I uh get into that, and. 76 00:04:02.159 --> 00:04:04.599 I forget his name, the servant guy. 77 00:04:04.680 --> 00:04:06.560 Yeah, yeah, Lopen. 78 00:04:06.719 --> 00:04:09.439 I was actually quite said about it, surprisingly considering I 79 00:04:09.439 --> 00:04:10.280 couldn't remember his name. 80 00:04:10.280 --> 00:04:11.080 I was actually said. 81 00:04:11.360 --> 00:04:14.080 Open, Yeah, yeah, no, that was well because there was 82 00:04:14.120 --> 00:04:17.519 the whole sad thing with Nalisian in Crown of Swords 83 00:04:17.759 --> 00:04:20.240 also got killed in the fight with the golamb as 84 00:04:20.279 --> 00:04:24.199 I recall, right, and Lopen was really sad about that. 85 00:04:25.360 --> 00:04:29.879 I know, and now he has a similar fate. It's 86 00:04:29.920 --> 00:04:32.519 not the same fate. But we'll get into that a 87 00:04:32.560 --> 00:04:33.680 minute before we do all that, though, Alle, do you 88 00:04:33.720 --> 00:04:36.120 have any notes for about chapter eight? First, it took 89 00:04:36.120 --> 00:04:36.480 some notes. 90 00:04:36.480 --> 00:04:40.720 I guess I kind of forgot about notes part way through, 91 00:04:41.959 --> 00:04:43.000 just like Robert Jordan. 92 00:04:43.639 --> 00:04:47.000 Only took seven to ten business months to attack as if. 93 00:04:47.000 --> 00:04:49.639 Leads chapter nine. What you're looking at chapter nine? Going 94 00:04:49.680 --> 00:04:51.920 back to chapter eight, Oh yeah, my bad, because the 95 00:04:51.920 --> 00:04:54.279 golomb doesn't really show up until chapter nine. We have 96 00:04:54.279 --> 00:04:56.399 a whole chapter before we get there, which is why 97 00:04:56.439 --> 00:04:58.519 I wanted to do two chapters, because I was like, okay, 98 00:04:58.519 --> 00:05:01.279 we could do just the lead up chapter, or. 99 00:05:01.160 --> 00:05:03.439 Well then I only really have like two things for 100 00:05:03.680 --> 00:05:05.959 chapter one. That's okay, But I said go lam alert 101 00:05:06.040 --> 00:05:08.560 with many exclamation points, and then I said Tom threw 102 00:05:08.600 --> 00:05:11.879 a knife at him through true friendship. Oh yeah, uh, 103 00:05:12.959 --> 00:05:15.199 because some people might have been like, wow, that looks 104 00:05:15.199 --> 00:05:16.600 like it sucks, and like run away. 105 00:05:17.360 --> 00:05:20.000 They are talking about Genji. Oh please, oh please, oh please? 106 00:05:20.120 --> 00:05:23.560 Yeah, oh yeah, because they were just talking about oh 107 00:05:23.639 --> 00:05:27.160 yeah whatever, we are making plans. 108 00:05:27.279 --> 00:05:29.639 Yes, we are to go to Genji. I said, call 109 00:05:29.720 --> 00:05:31.240 the travel agent. We're going to Genji. 110 00:05:31.759 --> 00:05:34.079 And I said, Varren will not come back, bro unless 111 00:05:34.120 --> 00:05:36.720 she's Jesus, which we already have that. 112 00:05:36.959 --> 00:05:39.000 We don't have that, so I don't think it's gonna 113 00:05:39.000 --> 00:05:39.279 be her. 114 00:05:40.040 --> 00:05:42.800 And then I put in all caps yippie, we're going 115 00:05:42.920 --> 00:05:43.959 bell kicks and joy. 116 00:05:44.240 --> 00:05:46.680 And then I said, oh fuck yeah. 117 00:05:46.680 --> 00:05:48.519 So chapter eighth to seventh stripe last, this is the 118 00:05:48.600 --> 00:05:49.199 chapter logo? 119 00:05:49.360 --> 00:05:55.279 Is it? It is a dice? But here's the thing. 120 00:05:55.360 --> 00:05:56.560 Can I rant about one thing? 121 00:05:57.240 --> 00:05:58.120 Yeah, that's the point. 122 00:05:58.279 --> 00:06:01.000 So I was all excited this chapter because finally like, yes, 123 00:06:01.480 --> 00:06:04.959 Genji time, it is time for the genj Let's go. 124 00:06:05.040 --> 00:06:06.720 Tower, Let's go. 125 00:06:06.920 --> 00:06:09.600 Matt probably losing an eye, let's go like all of 126 00:06:09.639 --> 00:06:11.680 my bingo slots, let's go. 127 00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:13.519 And then the Golom's like, all right. 128 00:06:13.439 --> 00:06:17.120 You know what, this is the time, not all those 129 00:06:17.279 --> 00:06:19.199 not all those books where like nothing was happening. 130 00:06:19.319 --> 00:06:20.240 Yeah, no offense. 131 00:06:20.519 --> 00:06:22.240 Everyone's like this black tun really it is. 132 00:06:23.680 --> 00:06:24.120 We could have. 133 00:06:24.120 --> 00:06:26.319 Attacked at any point during that It didn't do that 134 00:06:26.600 --> 00:06:29.879 big stretch of time since Chailand, like Thailand died when 135 00:06:30.839 --> 00:06:34.399 book eight. Okay, so books eight through twelve we had 136 00:06:35.120 --> 00:06:38.240 or thirteen, now right, we had Matt in a will 137 00:06:38.319 --> 00:06:38.959 they won't they? 138 00:06:39.040 --> 00:06:41.120 With the Empress of Evil? 139 00:06:41.319 --> 00:06:45.319 Yeah, and which I I'm like, all due respect, Matt 140 00:06:45.360 --> 00:06:47.759 has the worst women in these books. 141 00:06:48.160 --> 00:06:50.920 Yeah. He goes directly from from. 142 00:06:51.120 --> 00:06:52.720 Sexual Assailant McGee Yeah. 143 00:06:52.759 --> 00:06:56.600 I was literally gonna say mcgie too, Yeah, sexual Assailant McGhee. 144 00:06:57.360 --> 00:07:02.800 No offense there, I know, some lovely mcgeese. 145 00:07:03.000 --> 00:07:05.319 I personally want to quarrel with the mcgise, you know, 146 00:07:05.519 --> 00:07:08.480 you know one I know, yeah, but so you know, 147 00:07:08.720 --> 00:07:13.199 I feel I feel that that we could have in 148 00:07:13.240 --> 00:07:16.560 the time since Thailand and so in you know, eighty 149 00:07:16.639 --> 00:07:20.519 thousand books since then have had any point in which 150 00:07:20.560 --> 00:07:22.519 we could have attacked. But no, no, we have to 151 00:07:22.519 --> 00:07:25.759 do it right before Ali's hopes and dreams come true. Which, 152 00:07:25.839 --> 00:07:27.399 you know what, I don't want to complain. 153 00:07:27.839 --> 00:07:28.639 We're still getting it go. 154 00:07:29.040 --> 00:07:32.759 I'm still pleased, I'm still well. Pleased is probably the 155 00:07:32.759 --> 00:07:33.199 wrong word. 156 00:07:33.279 --> 00:07:34.199 I'm excited. 157 00:07:34.519 --> 00:07:35.240 It was still. 158 00:07:35.120 --> 00:07:37.120 Very like an Alley Champ face a little bit. 159 00:07:37.399 --> 00:07:41.240 Yes, yeah, because I was like, finally we've got him, 160 00:07:41.560 --> 00:07:42.519 we're cooking again. 161 00:07:42.720 --> 00:07:46.759 We're back. We're so back, baby. But then also I 162 00:07:46.800 --> 00:07:49.560 was like, but we were, we were about to go. 163 00:07:49.839 --> 00:07:52.639 We were about to do the thing I've been waiting 164 00:07:52.680 --> 00:07:54.240 for for also many books. 165 00:07:54.279 --> 00:07:58.120 Now, yeah, I guess there's fewer books because I'm worried 166 00:07:58.120 --> 00:08:00.439 that this is going to become the Here's what I'm 167 00:08:00.439 --> 00:08:03.879 really worried about. I'm really worried about my bingo because because, 168 00:08:04.360 --> 00:08:09.639 because because if this becomes Quest to Kill Golam, that 169 00:08:09.639 --> 00:08:12.839 that throws off my timeline for when Moraine gets saved 170 00:08:12.879 --> 00:08:14.000 pretty significantly. 171 00:08:14.199 --> 00:08:17.240 Matt already has a time constraint, though, do you remember 172 00:08:17.240 --> 00:08:18.399 his time constraint. 173 00:08:18.240 --> 00:08:19.040 To save Moraine? 174 00:08:19.120 --> 00:08:21.839 No, he has a reason he can't do it. Yet 175 00:08:22.319 --> 00:08:25.040 why And it's something that actually comes up immediately. I 176 00:08:25.120 --> 00:08:27.600 forget the beginning of the chapter. Matt sat on a 177 00:08:27.600 --> 00:08:29.920 warm stool, his arms leaning against a dark wooden bar 178 00:08:30.000 --> 00:08:32.919 counter at a letter from Matt flipped a folded letter 179 00:08:32.960 --> 00:08:35.080 between two fingers of his right hand. That letter, on 180 00:08:35.159 --> 00:08:37.519 thick paper, was sealed with a glove of blood red wax. 181 00:08:37.840 --> 00:08:39.519 He'd been carrying it only a short time, but it 182 00:08:39.519 --> 00:08:41.519 was already a source of as much aggravation to him 183 00:08:41.519 --> 00:08:44.840 as any woman. Well maybe not nice, sense, I'm still sealed. Yes, 184 00:08:44.879 --> 00:08:46.120 do you remember the stipulation? 185 00:08:46.279 --> 00:08:46.360 No? 186 00:08:46.720 --> 00:08:47.240 I forget that. 187 00:08:47.320 --> 00:08:49.279 Okay, I forgot about this letter. Barony gave him this 188 00:08:49.399 --> 00:08:54.639 letter right before she went to Iguain, and she said, 189 00:08:55.279 --> 00:08:57.600 you have to promise me that if you open it, 190 00:08:57.799 --> 00:09:00.799 you will do what it says. And he said, I'm 191 00:09:00.799 --> 00:09:04.320 not gonna no, and she goes, okay, fine, you don't 192 00:09:04.320 --> 00:09:06.960 have to open it. But if you don't open it, 193 00:09:07.000 --> 00:09:11.039 wait thirty days and then you can leave Caitlin. What 194 00:09:12.000 --> 00:09:16.480 this was I believe in exchange for agreeing to gateway 195 00:09:16.559 --> 00:09:17.360 him to Caitlin. 196 00:09:18.360 --> 00:09:19.639 And so she's like, okay. 197 00:09:19.440 --> 00:09:21.559 She said, okay, I will do this for you, but 198 00:09:21.720 --> 00:09:23.200 you have to do what it says in this letter 199 00:09:23.360 --> 00:09:24.240 after I leave. 200 00:09:25.360 --> 00:09:27.679 And he goes, how can she guarantee that that's going out? 201 00:09:27.759 --> 00:09:29.440 Then? Because she made him swear an oath on it. 202 00:09:30.240 --> 00:09:32.720 So we've got basically Pandora's box the letter, yeah, with 203 00:09:32.840 --> 00:09:36.320 basically the book's equivalent of Pandora, so that he's not 204 00:09:36.360 --> 00:09:38.120 gonna last thirty days about opening that thing. 205 00:09:38.279 --> 00:09:39.720 Well, if he opens it, he has to do what 206 00:09:39.759 --> 00:09:40.039 it says. 207 00:09:40.120 --> 00:09:40.759 I understand. 208 00:09:40.759 --> 00:09:43.519 But like we're talking about Matt Coffin in here, like 209 00:09:44.320 --> 00:09:49.960 knifey boy, he can't. I know, my ADHD King, we 210 00:09:50.120 --> 00:09:52.559 cannot resist a button that we can't. 211 00:09:53.120 --> 00:09:55.720 This is the same thing Arren. Varren said the same thing, right, 212 00:09:55.759 --> 00:09:58.279 she said, I'm gonna give this to Matt. He's gonna 213 00:09:58.320 --> 00:10:00.960 open it. He's gone, he's gonna Yeah. 214 00:10:01.720 --> 00:10:03.559 Honestly, I'm surprised he's lasted this long. 215 00:10:03.600 --> 00:10:05.200 It is pretty impressive. 216 00:10:04.799 --> 00:10:07.799 Because I would have lasted about thirty seconds, got a 217 00:10:07.879 --> 00:10:11.600 day if that I would have. Yeah, because the curiosity, Yeah, 218 00:10:11.799 --> 00:10:14.200 the curiosity that just like eats me. 219 00:10:14.960 --> 00:10:16.360 Yeah, he has to open it. 220 00:10:16.399 --> 00:10:18.399 Burn Varren for doing this to him. She held him 221 00:10:18.399 --> 00:10:19.919 by his oath like a fish caught on a hook. 222 00:10:20.320 --> 00:10:22.639 Sahdking. He can't resist it. 223 00:10:22.679 --> 00:10:24.519 I like that the name he has come up with, 224 00:10:24.559 --> 00:10:26.919 the nickname, the hiding name, is very close to his 225 00:10:26.960 --> 00:10:29.360 actual name. What is it. It's not Master Coffin, it's 226 00:10:29.399 --> 00:10:30.120 Master Crimson. 227 00:10:31.440 --> 00:10:35.200 Okay, here's my thinking about this one. Everybody in the 228 00:10:35.200 --> 00:10:40.360 books comes up with the worst secret identities possible. However, 229 00:10:40.480 --> 00:10:42.919 there is also a genius in it because if you 230 00:10:43.000 --> 00:10:46.320 have it close enough to your name then like it, 231 00:10:46.759 --> 00:10:49.639 then you will probably react to the name. Because if 232 00:10:49.639 --> 00:10:53.440 somebody goes like mister Jones and I'm not turning out, Yeah, 233 00:10:53.440 --> 00:10:56.519 I'm not turning around, but if it's like Bus instead 234 00:10:56.519 --> 00:10:58.840 of Gus like, you would turn around, probably because of 235 00:10:59.000 --> 00:11:00.240 just the sound. 236 00:11:00.440 --> 00:11:02.600 There's a whole Simpsons episode where they give he has 237 00:11:02.600 --> 00:11:04.240 to go in to witness protection. I don't remember the 238 00:11:04.279 --> 00:11:06.080 name they give him, but it's a whole long scene 239 00:11:06.080 --> 00:11:07.879 where they're trying to get him to respond to the 240 00:11:07.960 --> 00:11:10.879 name and telling him, no, no, that's you, and he Homer 241 00:11:10.960 --> 00:11:12.960 keeps it's very funny. I'll see if I can find 242 00:11:12.960 --> 00:11:13.840 the clip, but. 243 00:11:13.960 --> 00:11:17.399 It's super tough. Yeah, that would be hard for me having. 244 00:11:17.200 --> 00:11:22.200 A I think it's hello, mister Johnson. No, it'd be tough. 245 00:11:22.519 --> 00:11:23.120 It'd be tough. 246 00:11:23.399 --> 00:11:23.960 Yeah. 247 00:11:24.000 --> 00:11:27.039 So you know, while while it's close in a way 248 00:11:27.039 --> 00:11:30.159 where you're like, okay, you're also kind of like yeah. 249 00:11:30.159 --> 00:11:32.720 But he would respond if someone called him that probably 250 00:11:32.840 --> 00:11:35.120 or like have a better chance of responding, And they 251 00:11:35.159 --> 00:11:37.519 do say, like with a lie, having a livey as 252 00:11:37.519 --> 00:11:40.360 close to the truth as possible is always the move. 253 00:11:40.720 --> 00:11:44.120 Matt's at a bar, he's drinking with innkeeper Melly crab 254 00:11:44.799 --> 00:11:49.080 Crabe and creating there's what is the other silly goofy 255 00:11:49.279 --> 00:11:53.559 kinda Robert jordany character thing that is going on with Matt. 256 00:11:54.039 --> 00:11:57.159 People will say it's Brandon exclusive whatever. Throughout this whole section, 257 00:11:57.960 --> 00:12:00.480 Oh shit, I can't remember. He keeps on things about 258 00:12:00.480 --> 00:12:03.480 how attractive women are and then going, you know, for Tom, 259 00:12:03.759 --> 00:12:08.039 you know, for Tallmani's because I'm married. Here you go, 260 00:12:08.080 --> 00:12:08.320 hold on. 261 00:12:08.360 --> 00:12:09.480 I have a lot of thoughts about this. 262 00:12:09.480 --> 00:12:11.799 Matt would have given her his best smile. There was 263 00:12:11.840 --> 00:12:13.559 not a woman he'd met who did not melt for 264 00:12:13.639 --> 00:12:16.279 his best smile. But he was a married man now. 265 00:12:16.559 --> 00:12:19.120 He could not go breaking hearts. It would not be right. Though, 266 00:12:19.279 --> 00:12:22.679 leaning as she did showed some ample bosom. She was 267 00:12:22.720 --> 00:12:24.519 a short woman, but she kept the area behind the 268 00:12:24.559 --> 00:12:29.159 bar raised. Yes, nice bosom. Indeed, he figured she'd be 269 00:12:29.200 --> 00:12:30.799 good for a bit of kissing, perhaps tucked into one 270 00:12:30.840 --> 00:12:33.080 of the booths at the back of the tavern. Of course, 271 00:12:33.080 --> 00:12:35.480 Matt did not look at women anymore, not like that. 272 00:12:36.440 --> 00:12:38.240 He did not think about her for him to kiss. 273 00:12:38.480 --> 00:12:41.639 Maybe for Tallmanni's he was so stiff. A good kiss 274 00:12:41.639 --> 00:12:46.360 and cuddle will do him good. I mean. 275 00:12:49.440 --> 00:12:52.480 One, I don't think this is Brandon Sanderson exclusive because 276 00:12:53.080 --> 00:12:55.879 I believe that in a Robert Jordan book he put 277 00:12:56.000 --> 00:12:57.440 a coin on a woman's boobs. 278 00:12:57.919 --> 00:13:01.200 Oh no, I'm talking about the I'm not looking at women. 279 00:13:01.240 --> 00:13:05.840 I'm thinking about women for other Well, he frequently would 280 00:13:05.840 --> 00:13:07.360 do stuff like put coins in women's boobs. 281 00:13:07.440 --> 00:13:10.759 Yes, I feel like. 282 00:13:14.440 --> 00:13:19.080 When you're married, you don't necessarily stop noticing that people 283 00:13:19.080 --> 00:13:20.519 are attractive. 284 00:13:20.039 --> 00:13:22.039 Right, you don't. You don't necessarily go blind. 285 00:13:22.279 --> 00:13:28.200 No, you're married, you're not dead. But like, I feel like. 286 00:13:30.919 --> 00:13:35.039 The way that you think about it hopefully changes the 287 00:13:35.200 --> 00:13:41.000 like calculating making out with them. Yeah, like that that 288 00:13:41.080 --> 00:13:43.120 part is the part that I'm like hung up on. 289 00:13:43.240 --> 00:13:48.360 Is I'm like the plotting of like getting them alone 290 00:13:48.440 --> 00:13:51.759 and stuff is like, ye, I think. 291 00:13:51.600 --> 00:13:53.639 He's plotting anything. He's like, you know, it'd be fun 292 00:13:53.679 --> 00:13:59.600 to he's fantasizing. Yeah, I mean, I'm not saying that's 293 00:13:59.679 --> 00:14:01.720 huge different I think. 294 00:14:03.279 --> 00:14:05.720 I think it's this thing of like you notice and 295 00:14:05.759 --> 00:14:09.679 then you're like shut that down though like you. 296 00:14:09.759 --> 00:14:14.279 Don't like like don't don't don't don't feed. 297 00:14:14.080 --> 00:14:15.399 Its like not what he's doing. 298 00:14:15.919 --> 00:14:16.720 You don't feed it. 299 00:14:16.759 --> 00:14:19.919 I feel like he's feeding it. 300 00:14:20.559 --> 00:14:24.720 But but but like but like but like the pivot, 301 00:14:24.919 --> 00:14:26.440 the pivot happens a little late. 302 00:14:26.600 --> 00:14:31.399 Sure, do you know what full paragraph? 303 00:14:32.240 --> 00:14:32.440 You know. 304 00:14:33.639 --> 00:14:36.559 I'm not here to be the thought police for anyone 305 00:14:36.600 --> 00:14:40.840 in particular. I'm just like, I think that a lot 306 00:14:40.879 --> 00:14:44.039 of the time we get into trouble as a society, 307 00:14:44.080 --> 00:14:45.519 as a specie when. 308 00:14:45.360 --> 00:14:48.159 We feed thoughts too long. 309 00:14:48.879 --> 00:14:51.200 When you go down a path for too long, you 310 00:14:51.240 --> 00:14:53.399 start to it starts to become. 311 00:14:57.000 --> 00:14:59.759 I don't I don't know. I'm struggling with how to 312 00:15:00.039 --> 00:15:04.639 kind of like talk about this. I guess I guess 313 00:15:04.679 --> 00:15:07.960 you kind of go like, oh, that person's attractive anyway. 314 00:15:08.320 --> 00:15:10.759 Like that's kind of like I feel like when you're 315 00:15:10.799 --> 00:15:14.480 in a monogamous married relationship, that's like about as much 316 00:15:14.559 --> 00:15:17.320 noticing as I feel like, yeah, yeah, I get that appropriate, 317 00:15:17.559 --> 00:15:21.279 Like because once you get to the fantasy fantasizing stage, 318 00:15:21.320 --> 00:15:24.840 I'm like that once you start allowing that train of 319 00:15:24.879 --> 00:15:27.919 thought to go, because we have control over our thoughts 320 00:15:27.960 --> 00:15:30.320 to a certain like you do have the ability to go, 321 00:15:30.440 --> 00:15:32.440 I'm going to pivot away from that because I'm starting 322 00:15:32.440 --> 00:15:34.879 to go down a path of like planning on how 323 00:15:34.919 --> 00:15:35.840 to cheat on my wife. 324 00:15:36.440 --> 00:15:38.039 Right, that is a different thing, do you know what 325 00:15:38.080 --> 00:15:38.440 I mean? 326 00:15:38.679 --> 00:15:41.279 Where it's like, you know, I. 327 00:15:41.639 --> 00:15:44.360 Do also think it's important to mention with the mat situation. 328 00:15:47.000 --> 00:15:49.000 He didn't have a choice in the getting married thing. 329 00:15:50.720 --> 00:15:52.960 I think that that. I don't think that colors this 330 00:15:53.000 --> 00:15:54.840 a little bit. Well, he thinks he does. 331 00:15:54.960 --> 00:15:58.600 Well, he thinks well, he thinks a lot of things 332 00:15:59.360 --> 00:16:01.039 that I just found mentally disagree with. 333 00:16:01.120 --> 00:16:05.360 Yeah, Like I think he I'm not saying it's cool 334 00:16:05.399 --> 00:16:07.720 to cheat on people and arrangement, you know what I mean? 335 00:16:08.799 --> 00:16:11.679 Yeah, Well, I feel like there's more. There's a lot 336 00:16:11.679 --> 00:16:13.639 of nuance to unpack here, which is why I'm like. 337 00:16:14.320 --> 00:16:16.360 There's a lot we could spend talking about here. But 338 00:16:16.399 --> 00:16:18.440 I don't think that's the most important thing in the chapter. 339 00:16:18.720 --> 00:16:22.480 Forced into this in a way, Yeah, where like it's 340 00:16:22.559 --> 00:16:26.279 not his choice as overtly as like say Land and 341 00:16:26.399 --> 00:16:29.080 nine Eve, where I'm like, you make a solemn vow 342 00:16:29.159 --> 00:16:31.919 to somebody that you love deeply that you will not, 343 00:16:34.440 --> 00:16:38.120 you know, betray them fundamentally so that you know you 344 00:16:38.159 --> 00:16:40.679 can relax in your life with at least one person 345 00:16:40.879 --> 00:16:43.360 right without fear that that person is going to rip 346 00:16:43.399 --> 00:16:45.799 the rug out from under you utterly, even though it's 347 00:16:45.799 --> 00:16:48.200 still a possibility. You're like, I'm taking a gamble on 348 00:16:48.399 --> 00:16:50.720 you that you're not going to fuck me up so 349 00:16:50.840 --> 00:16:53.679 much that I have to have therapy for a thousand yees. Yeah, So, 350 00:16:53.840 --> 00:16:56.919 like you know, you have to kind of be very 351 00:16:56.960 --> 00:16:59.600 thoughtful about the person that you pick, because it's like, 352 00:17:00.159 --> 00:17:02.039 just because they're fun to hang out with does not 353 00:17:02.080 --> 00:17:04.039 make them lifelong. 354 00:17:03.480 --> 00:17:05.960 Material and their material necessarily. 355 00:17:05.480 --> 00:17:09.000 Like, you know, I know plenty of people who are like, yeah, 356 00:17:09.039 --> 00:17:12.119 like the dating stage was great, and then you get 357 00:17:12.119 --> 00:17:15.640 married and have kids, and all of a sudden, it's like, oh, 358 00:17:17.039 --> 00:17:19.240 the person I married is the person I married, Like 359 00:17:19.319 --> 00:17:21.359 they were really fun and they don't want to stop 360 00:17:21.400 --> 00:17:24.720 having fun long enough to like help me with the kids, 361 00:17:24.759 --> 00:17:27.480 you know, things like that. But like you know, you 362 00:17:28.319 --> 00:17:31.920 hopefully enter into a marriage with your eyes wide open 363 00:17:31.960 --> 00:17:34.000 about who a person is, which is why it's always 364 00:17:34.039 --> 00:17:35.880 shocking to me when people are like, I've known this 365 00:17:35.920 --> 00:17:38.279 person and maybe this is just me because we knew each. 366 00:17:38.119 --> 00:17:39.279 Other forever and every. 367 00:17:39.240 --> 00:17:41.119 Ten years before we got married, and we're together for 368 00:17:41.200 --> 00:17:44.440 eight years, so by then I felt like I knew 369 00:17:44.480 --> 00:17:47.200 you pretty fucking well, pretty well. When people are like, 370 00:17:47.279 --> 00:17:49.920 I married him and we knew each other six months. 371 00:17:50.039 --> 00:17:52.839 It's surprising that I wouldn't say surprising, but I go, 372 00:17:52.920 --> 00:17:55.160 that's and you got a lot to learn, probably, and 373 00:17:55.200 --> 00:17:59.480 I don't many people have this happen works out perfectly, fine, 374 00:17:59.559 --> 00:18:02.160 this can work. And my dear friend's parents met and 375 00:18:02.160 --> 00:18:03.319 got engaged in like a month. 376 00:18:05.000 --> 00:18:07.960 I think that maybe I'm just somebody, maybe because I'm 377 00:18:07.960 --> 00:18:11.079 a child of divorce and so I've seen firsthand how 378 00:18:11.160 --> 00:18:13.960 these things can go, and my parents have been married 379 00:18:14.359 --> 00:18:16.119 each more than once. 380 00:18:18.359 --> 00:18:22.759 I feel like I find that decision. 381 00:18:22.400 --> 00:18:24.720 To be wild just for me personally, because I'm like, 382 00:18:25.039 --> 00:18:30.599 you are trusting someone with your mental health, your physical health, 383 00:18:30.759 --> 00:18:36.480 your future, your heart, your life, like you know, because 384 00:18:36.519 --> 00:18:40.400 I mean statistically, also, your spouse is the most likely yestic. 385 00:18:40.880 --> 00:18:42.799 Like I think we've wanted a little far. 386 00:18:43.440 --> 00:18:47.079 But I'm just no because because it's all related, because 387 00:18:47.079 --> 00:18:52.319 I think he was kind of ill prepared for and 388 00:18:52.759 --> 00:18:55.680 like I don't think they've known each other, know each other, 389 00:18:55.799 --> 00:18:56.720 barely know each other. 390 00:18:57.759 --> 00:18:59.920 I think he's very young. Also, what is each one? 391 00:19:00.279 --> 00:19:01.440 They're about twenty two now. 392 00:19:01.480 --> 00:19:04.079 To me, they have the makings of a Mulligan marriage, 393 00:19:04.240 --> 00:19:06.640 you know what I mean, Like golf, a Mulligan is 394 00:19:06.680 --> 00:19:07.519 like a false start. 395 00:19:07.680 --> 00:19:09.480 I think, yeah. And I think the other thing is 396 00:19:09.559 --> 00:19:11.920 he didn't really get to he didn't have a choice 397 00:19:11.920 --> 00:19:13.559 in this, and he's had no time to adjust. 398 00:19:13.839 --> 00:19:14.519 I just feel like. 399 00:19:14.519 --> 00:19:16.880 Matt has had like no agency in any of his 400 00:19:17.519 --> 00:19:20.839 relationships with what that Yes, he correct and that is 401 00:19:20.920 --> 00:19:23.160