Speaker 1: Hi everyone. I'm Stephanie Wilder Taylor and this is Drunkish.
Speaker 1: I wrote a book called Drunkish where I told my
Speaker 1: sobriety story. Because well, I love to overshare. Now I
Speaker 1: have a podcast so we can hear other people's stories.
Speaker 1: Please follow the show so it will automatically land in
Speaker 1: your podcast feed every week. Be so helpful to me.
Speaker 1: And also if you could give me a quick rating
Speaker 1: and or review, I will be your best friend. Now
Speaker 1: with me today is Rob Shulty. He is a podcast producer,
Speaker 1: but also he has a long running podcast of his own,
Speaker 1: all about vander Pump Rules and it's called vander Pump Robs.
Speaker 1: You can find that on your podcast feed as well.
Speaker 1: And he's so honest and warm and a great talker.
Speaker 1: And I think you will love this episode. So let's go.
Speaker 1: Rob Shualty, Welcome to Drunkish.
Speaker 2: Hello, happy to be here. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1: Of course, thank you for reaching out. I'm so excited.
Speaker 1: First of all, I love having guys on the podcast.
Speaker 2: Really okay, well yeah, I guess it has been skewed
Speaker 2: with more lady. I've been listening for a while now,
Speaker 2: it's been It's exciting, you know, You've had a couple
Speaker 2: of my friends on Meredith and Alison, and so it's
Speaker 2: been yeah and so having I don't know. I like
Speaker 2: the I like the podcasts, like the book. I'm happy
Speaker 2: to be here.
Speaker 1: Oh thank you. I have had an abundance of sober moms,
Speaker 1: which I guess just because that's like my people. But
Speaker 1: I find it really interesting, Like when I go to meetings,
Speaker 1: I really love like hearing men's stories too. I think
Speaker 1: it's I think it's the feelings are all kind of
Speaker 1: the same. You know, the experience might be different, but
Speaker 1: all the like addiction people seem to have a lot
Speaker 1: of the same basic feelings.
Speaker 2: I've you know, I've got three years under my belt
Speaker 2: and I'm feeling the same thing right, Like there's always
Speaker 2: this like base level of like our stories may fluctuate
Speaker 2: a few different points one way or the other, but
Speaker 2: there's like a consistency that's like I can relate to
Speaker 2: you on a bunch of different things, no matter who's sharing.
Speaker 1: I remember early in sobriety hearing people's stories and this
Speaker 1: was this would be a lot more true for men,
Speaker 1: but about just really low bottoms, you know, going to rehab,
Speaker 1: like twenty seven times, and then just telling my person
Speaker 1: who is like helping me with my sobriety, and just
Speaker 1: going like, I just don't think like this is me,
Speaker 1: Like these people aren't me. And I remember really understanding
Speaker 1: the look for the similarities, stop trying to stop trying
Speaker 1: to make yourself different, and start trying to look for
Speaker 1: the things that you relate to. And then when I
Speaker 1: did that, I was like, oh, yeah, underneath it, it's
Speaker 1: the same feeling.
Speaker 2: I still struggle with that quite frankly. And I also
Speaker 2: struggle with not comparing my timeline with other people's timeline too,
Speaker 2: Like I always have to like keep myself in check
Speaker 2: with that sort of stuff. And but every time I
Speaker 2: do remember, or like talk to a friend of mine
Speaker 2: who's going through something, you know, in the program or whatever,
Speaker 2: it is sort of thing where it's like, well, remember,
Speaker 2: you probably have a lot more in common than not, yeah,
Speaker 2: in a lot of ways, and.
Speaker 1: Well check me back and tell me, like tell me
Speaker 1: about yourself. Where'd you grow up.
Speaker 2: I grew up in like a suburb of Kansas City,
Speaker 2: and I mean k Kansas, Missouri actually, and so I
Speaker 2: didn't have a lot of exposure to the world. And
Speaker 2: this isn't like cliche Middle America. It's just like my
Speaker 2: family's family grew up right around that same area, and
Speaker 2: then there's like no extended family, right, So all I
Speaker 2: knew was what my family knew, and it was if
Speaker 2: it wasn't like Kansas City, the city, it was the
Speaker 2: family farm outside of this city, and I rarely went
Speaker 2: to that, and so all I all I knew was
Speaker 2: that it would it didn't seem possible to ever live
Speaker 2: or exist outside of Missouri or Kansas growing up. And
Speaker 2: my dad owned a bar, which was a big part
Speaker 2: of my lifestyle, and and that just like bar culture
Speaker 2: was always around. Drinks were always at the party. But
Speaker 2: I never really like I don't want to like jump
Speaker 2: too far, but like that never was like a thing, right.
Speaker 2: My dad was never like really drinking around me at all.
Speaker 2: Like I think the most I'd ever seen my dad
Speaker 2: drink like occasionally was like two beers and then fall
Speaker 2: asleep on the recliner right when we were like watching tvars.
Speaker 2: But my brother was technically my half brother, but I
Speaker 2: grew up with him my whole life. He had what
Speaker 2: was told to me as an extreme drug addiction. Now
Speaker 2: come to find he was more of an alcoholic who
Speaker 2: dabbled in doing drugs and actually died because of an
Speaker 2: alcohol related incident when I was in college at the
Speaker 2: University of Kansa, and that did not teach me not
Speaker 2: to drink alcohol. It actually taught me. I drink more
Speaker 2: after that.
Speaker 1: Really.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I was very I think I was just
Speaker 2: closed off to the world, like I had no perspective.
Speaker 2: I did not ever put myself in anyone else's shoes.
Speaker 2: I just was never taught that sort of thing. I was,
Speaker 2: I would say, not like close minded, but just uneducated
Speaker 2: on the ways of the world. And so it's like,
Speaker 2: all right, I'll go to college because I'm supposed to
Speaker 2: go to college, and I couldn't get into any schools really,
Speaker 2: and so I went to community college and then I
Speaker 2: finally moved out was when I got accepted to the
Speaker 2: University of Kansas and that just became like partying because
Speaker 2: I like was desperately afraid of getting into trouble. Big
Speaker 2: quote fingers. I did not party hard in high school.
Speaker 2: I think I drank once in high school.
Speaker 1: Just to say this on your podcast, Oh.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, yeah, I I like my friends had a
Speaker 2: kegger and I drank too much because it was the
Speaker 2: first time I'd ever drank. I think I made embarrassing
Speaker 2: phone calls or something. I got egged on by the
Speaker 2: boys to like, oh, you should do this or that,
Speaker 2: like I don't really remember it. And then of course
Speaker 2: all of our parents found out, and then I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: I got in trouble. I'll never do that again. And
Speaker 2: then but my dad was very strict because I think
Speaker 2: my brother was such a like loose cannon kid. Was
Speaker 2: he older than you, there's about six years older than me, okay,
Speaker 2: and he like didn't he like he clocked my dad
Speaker 2: and I have a very complicated My dad is no
Speaker 2: longer with us either. I had a very complicated relationship
Speaker 2: with him towards the end of his life, and I
Speaker 2: started like seeing things from my brother's perspective. Older I
Speaker 2: got and I, you know, I struggle with this because
Speaker 2: I know, you know, your parents do the best they
Speaker 2: can for the most part. But like, I really suffered
Speaker 2: from his strictness because he couldn't quote control my brother
Speaker 2: in any sort of way.
Speaker 1: And I don't think our parents do the best they can.
Speaker 2: Okay, maybe maybe I'm giving a little bit more than
Speaker 2: I than I need to. But like, I just think
Speaker 2: that this is a world where I was really afraid
Speaker 2: of getting into trouble, and I don't know exactly what
Speaker 2: that is, partially because I think my family was Catholic,
Speaker 2: but like Catholic on paper, not like we didn't really
Speaker 2: go to Mass or church that often, especially after my
Speaker 2: parents got divorced. But then when I went to college, though,
Speaker 2: it was like, oh, I can do whatever I want,
Speaker 2: and the Levy broke and I was like partying all
Speaker 2: the time, drinking a lot. I didn't do a lot
Speaker 2: of drugs at that point in time. I smoked a
Speaker 2: lot of pot in like my early years of college.
Speaker 2: But then once I graduated, there was nothing to do.
Speaker 2: It was the two thousand and eight two thousand and
Speaker 2: nine recession. I had to work at like bars and
Speaker 2: bagel shops and struggle to get nine hours a week
Speaker 2: sometimes at some places.
Speaker 1: And you were still in Jasuri at that point.
Speaker 2: I was in Kansas, but yeah, I was just living
Speaker 2: in the college town at that point, and that's just
Speaker 2: like you're in this town where you also are like
Speaker 2: there's a music scene and an art scene, but it's
Speaker 2: all kind of a facade for those of us who
Speaker 2: were never able to like escape college life at that point,
Speaker 2: and everyone who worked at a bar is just exchanging
Speaker 2: the money with the other people that work at bars,
Speaker 2: and no one's really getting anywhere in life. And it's
Speaker 2: like this false sense of if you're in a band
Speaker 2: or you're an artist of some sort, like I'm actually
Speaker 2: above it all because I don't need things like paychecks
Speaker 2: to pay the rent. But it's all from my perspective,
Speaker 2: it was all just a big now that I've had
Speaker 2: years past, than kind of a ruse to explain away
Speaker 2: wanting to drink a lot and go out every night
Speaker 2: of the work.
Speaker 1: So I wonder if I mean, I feel like that's
Speaker 1: true for a lot of people, because when I was
Speaker 1: I didn't go to college, but I did to have
Speaker 1: some years that I should have been in college where
Speaker 1: I was just waiting tables and doing stand up and
Speaker 1: definitely never would have occurred to me that I needed
Speaker 1: to quit drinking or that I was going nowhere. It
Speaker 1: was like, I'm a comedian, That's what we do. I
Speaker 1: was hanging out in comedy clubs, drinking a lot, lacking
Speaker 1: out even but I would always chalk it up to
Speaker 1: like I'm an artist. I'm fun.
Speaker 2: I'm an artist. I'm having fun. What else am I
Speaker 2: gonna do?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: Like that was mine Like living in a relatively small
Speaker 2: college town, especially in the summers when half the students
Speaker 2: go away, Like what else are we going to do? Yeah,
Speaker 2: you know there's two things to do, eat drink and
Speaker 2: do drunk. I guess three do drugs. Right, there's like
Speaker 2: not going to the movies every single night. Right, I'm
Speaker 2: not spending that much. If I could spend money on
Speaker 2: the movies, I could spend money on drinking. Right, that's
Speaker 2: what I needed to do. That was more fun.
Speaker 1: We're entertaining, for sure.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I might be able to meet people, right, I
Speaker 2: might be able to make out. I might be able
Speaker 2: to you know, there's all those sorts of little things
Speaker 2: like can't do that at the movies, can't do that
Speaker 2: at the culvers, Like but you don't like those aren't
Speaker 2: like the active thoughts either, right, Like that's the it's
Speaker 2: just like this is just accepted. Everyone's going to the
Speaker 2: bar tonight every and if they're not, like sucks to
Speaker 2: be them, Like must be lame sitting at home like
Speaker 2: enjoying yourself reading or whatever. But it was. It was
Speaker 2: really tough, and it was it took a toll, Like
Speaker 2: I still like don't have a lot of memories, like
Speaker 2: strong memories from about two thousand and eight to two
Speaker 2: thousand and twelve or thirteen, and that's still years before
Speaker 2: I actually like got completely sober.
Speaker 1: So what happened? So what'd you decide to do?
Speaker 2: Well? I, uh, luckily was given the opportunity because I
Speaker 2: was a really good drunk in the sense that like
Speaker 2: I didn't have to drink, but when I did drink,
Speaker 2: I drink a lot. Because I'm also the person that's
Speaker 2: like if you go to a restaurant and you put
Speaker 2: a cup of water in front of me, like that
Speaker 2: is getting refilled throughout the night, right, So it doesn't
Speaker 2: matter what it was, I am consuming it. And so
Speaker 2: I was given the opportunity to manage a coffee to
Speaker 2: manage a coffee shop, and I was like, cool, because
Speaker 2: I have got to get out of the bar and
Speaker 2: I'm done working until three or four in the morning.
Speaker 2: As much as I liked partying, like I was not
Speaker 2: making the money to also put up with that and
Speaker 2: all of the sort of like low paying that came
Speaker 2: with it, And I had like established in my life.
Speaker 2: I'm like, Okay, well this is where I'm going to be.
Speaker 2: I need to get a job that at least pays
Speaker 2: me a little bit better. And so having this opportunity,
Speaker 2: it's like, well, a coffee shop's kind of like a bar,
Speaker 2: except opposite hours, and that'll train me to like work,
Speaker 2: you know, regular hours and be up at regular hours
Speaker 2: and I have some responsibility and I get paid a
Speaker 2: little bit more money.
Speaker 1: Is it weird that me, at the age that I
Speaker 1: am now, which is quite a bit older than you,
Speaker 1: Is it weird that I'm like, oh, managing a coffee
Speaker 1: shop like that sounds really cool. Nobody you asked me
Speaker 1: to manage anything. I've never been the boss in my
Speaker 1: entire life, and I'm kind of mad about it.
Speaker 2: Well, let me tell you. It felt like I struck
Speaker 2: gold because I was like, wow, I was like a
Speaker 2: manager at this music venue.
Speaker 1: I was so jealous. You had keys.
Speaker 2: I had keys because no one wanted to work till
Speaker 2: three in the morning and then come in at nine
Speaker 2: am to then count all of the money that you
Speaker 2: fucked up the count on the night before because you
Speaker 2: were all drinking booze. Right right, So, but I was
Speaker 2: stuck until this coffee shop thing, and then luckily, I
Speaker 2: like something kicked me in the ass to be like,
Speaker 2: just don't be the guy who goes out drinking all
Speaker 2: the time, right, just your responsibility. Now you've got a
Speaker 2: little bit more free time. They had read they had
Speaker 2: built a new library into that had a whole music
Speaker 2: studio in the bottom of it that like no one
Speaker 2: was using. And so I was really getting into podcasting
Speaker 2: at the time. This would have been a Brown twenty fourteen,
Speaker 2: and the one of the guys who I believe he
Speaker 2: mixed and mastered one of the first like get Up
Speaker 2: Kids albums.
Speaker 1: Oh very cool, huh.
Speaker 2: Was the guy who was running this studio or the library,
Speaker 2: and he taught me how to do everything, like I
Speaker 2: couldn't have even told you how to where to plug
Speaker 2: the microphone in, right. So I was just like, Okay,
Speaker 2: I am doing something. I am making something, even if
Speaker 2: I'm still just a you know, service industry person, which
Speaker 2: there's nothing wrong with that, but if if I'm not
Speaker 2: happy with where I'm at in my career, I can
Speaker 2: be happy with a new task. And in doing so,
Speaker 2: I my girlfriend was had already moved to new York
Speaker 2: and we had like broken up. She's moved to New
Speaker 2: York for a job, but we luckily stayed in contact
Speaker 2: after the weirdness went away from that and she was
Speaker 2: in a women's only like radio list Serve and someone knew,
Speaker 2: comedy writer Mike Sachs, who was looking for someone to
Speaker 2: help with his podcast, and Mike and I were emailing.
Speaker 2: He called me. He's like, look, I don't have any
Speaker 2: money to pay you, but I've published a lot of
Speaker 2: books and if you are looking to move to New York,
Speaker 2: I will write you any letter you need for a job.
Speaker 2: And I was like, well, that is what I need
Speaker 2: because I have no resume in this world. And I
Speaker 2: took the plunge and after a few years ended up
Speaker 2: moving to New York to get into the podcast industry,
Speaker 2: which and then I was kind of on the straight
Speaker 2: and narrow for a while. This was like the boom,
Speaker 2: This was like the gimlet was happening. Spotify hadn't bought
Speaker 2: every major podcaster at this point.
Speaker 1: I started doing a podcast in twenty fourteen. Okay, well,
Speaker 1: so my partner for a podcast that I still do
Speaker 1: called for crying out loud Lynette Corolla had started a
Speaker 1: Adam Carolla was doing his podcast, and then she got
Speaker 1: a podcast for being his wife, but then I became
Speaker 1: her partner and ever since then, So I and I
Speaker 1: didn't know what a podcast was. I was approached by
Speaker 1: the producer and I was like, I don't know what
Speaker 1: that is, and she's like, it's like a radio show
Speaker 1: but it's on the internet. And I was like, well,
Speaker 1: that sounds very cool because I love.
Speaker 2: Radio and you can edit it if you'd like, Yeah,
Speaker 2: it doesn't have to be live. And I loved it
Speaker 2: too because my degree was in theater and like script analysis,
Speaker 2: and I knew, like, well, I'm not really getting a
Speaker 2: job in that, Like I don't know how, I don't.
Speaker 2: I live in Kansas, you know. But I loved like
Speaker 2: script analysis, I loved anthropology, loved acting, I loved performing.
Speaker 2: I was the kid where Actually I think I heard
Speaker 2: John Gabers say this on a podcast once, like the
Speaker 2: first time he hit a stage and a spotlight went
Speaker 2: on him, it was like, uh, oh, I know, I
Speaker 2: like this, yeah, and that is kind of like me.
Speaker 2: But I always kind of had like which I'm getting
Speaker 2: over in my years, but like I always kind of
Speaker 2: had body image issues and so like radio and audio
Speaker 2: was like perfect for me because I could that little
Speaker 2: like twinge of discomfort could go away because it's just me.
Speaker 2: It's just my voice and my personality. And so when
Speaker 2: I got to New York, I was able to like
Speaker 2: hustle really hard, and like I worked with like finance
Speaker 2: bros who wanted like fifteen minute podcasts for their newsletters
Speaker 2: or whatnot, and I could like make my rent through
Speaker 2: these like little like micro podcasts and stuff until I
Speaker 2: had enough of a resume to apply for a place
Speaker 2: like serious XM. And in doing so, I didn't drink
Speaker 2: very much in New York. Like when I did, it
Speaker 2: was like at radio club meetings and we'd go out
Speaker 2: afterwards and I'd be celebrating and it would kind of
Speaker 2: be this like new thing where I'm like I'm with
Speaker 2: new people, So I kind of got to be on
Speaker 2: my best behavior a little bit because they don't know
Speaker 2: drunken mess Rob who had to like wake up and apologize,
Speaker 2: like I don't remember what I did? Was I okay,
Speaker 2: you know that we know that song, but like so
Speaker 2: you know, you're kind of on your best behavior, and
Speaker 2: then you meet a couple of the dudes or whoever
Speaker 2: that like to tie one on too, and then you're like, Okay,
Speaker 2: now I've got I've got some people to like hang
Speaker 2: out with that we don't have to necessarily talk business
Speaker 2: or we can specifically be like, hey, you want to
Speaker 2: go talk about projects at this bar, which then just
Speaker 2: devolves into just like drinking too much whiskey together and
Speaker 2: dane uriously trying to get home at wee hours of
Speaker 2: the night in New York City. And I kept it
Speaker 2: together for the most part. I will say, like it
Speaker 2: would happen. Those things would happen. I never got mugged,
Speaker 2: I never caused a scene, I never had anything too
Speaker 2: terribly em nothing like maybe the most embarrassing things that
Speaker 2: would happen to me when I'm like circling the drain
Speaker 2: in Kansas was really happening in New York. And I'm
Speaker 2: not exactly sure what that was, but I think it's
Speaker 2: because I had like an extra guard up, you know,
Speaker 2: Like I think I was like, I'm still new and
Speaker 2: I can't I can't fuck this up yet. And then
Speaker 2: COVID hit a couple of years later, and I found
Speaker 2: myself drinking every single during long Yeah.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you were lockdown in New York.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Brooklyn, yep.
Speaker 1: And that's when things got bad.
Speaker 2: They got really bad, like not like.
Speaker 1: And you were with your girlfriend at that time, with.
Speaker 2: My girlfriend with our dog.
Speaker 1: And it's her drinking.
Speaker 2: Barely drinks, barely ever drank throughout the entire time we've
Speaker 2: ever even been together. She's like the occasional I'll have
Speaker 2: a beer when we go to a show sort of person.
Speaker 1: She just likes addicts though I guess so, like did
Speaker 1: she was she upset about it?
Speaker 2: No, because I never really did anything like I guess
Speaker 2: I hit it, you know what I mean, Because I
Speaker 2: wouldn't like drink during the work day, but I would
Speaker 2: always go buy a bottle and she'd go to sleep,
Speaker 2: and I'd play video games or watch movies and then
Speaker 2: just poor drink, poor a drink. The liquor store was
Speaker 2: directly below our apartment. Oh, of course, they're essential workers.
Speaker 2: And I would just go there and kick it up
Speaker 2: a notch. And I think this is kind of became
Speaker 2: a thing where I would binge in Kansas round these
Speaker 2: like events before lockdown, just kind of be a party
Speaker 2: guy or just like I this is my excuse, whatever
Speaker 2: the excuse was to drink more than everyone else. And
Speaker 2: now it's like, well, I have no one to like
Speaker 2: to party with except for myself. I'm bored. I'm depressed
Speaker 2: because I'm drinking. I'm a depressive because it runs in
Speaker 2: the family. I'm a people pleaser because I hate something
Speaker 2: about myself and I can't figure out what that is.
Speaker 2: But I can just have a drink and no one's
Speaker 2: gonna say anything different. If it's at night and no
Speaker 2: one's around, I think it's no big deal until I
Speaker 2: realized right as lockdown was lifting, I applied for a
Speaker 2: job in California, got the job, they moved me out,
Speaker 2: and I had I celebrated way too hard after being
Speaker 2: there for a few months, and I remember, and I
Speaker 2: can walk through that story, but just to jump to
Speaker 2: the end of it, I remember like waking up, gasping,
Speaker 2: not knowing how I got home, how I did anything,
Speaker 2: and like staring at myself in the mirror and going,
Speaker 2: you are going to fuck this up. This is the
Speaker 2: biggest opportunity in your entire life, and you are headed
Speaker 2: towards a path where you think you're untouchable and you
Speaker 2: are going to lose it all. And I called the
Speaker 2: only person I knew who was sober, and they walked
Speaker 2: me through what I needed to do. But it was
Speaker 2: I'd never had Like I feel like I almost died
Speaker 2: because of the gasp of waking up at this event.
Speaker 2: Like I felt like maybe I wasn't breathing or something.
Speaker 1: So I was scared. Was your girlfriend and had she
Speaker 1: moved out with you?
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah? And she picked me up from where I was.
Speaker 1: So you went out by yourself or with like new
Speaker 1: co workers? Tell me the story. I love a good
Speaker 1: bottom story.
Speaker 2: Oh, my buddy, Peter Madrigal from vander Pump Rules, okay,
Speaker 2: asked me to go for a brunch hang on a Sunday.
Speaker 1: So, what was the job that you came out for.
Speaker 1: Did it have something to do with vander Pump Rules,
Speaker 1: because something that we haven't not talked about yet is
Speaker 1: that you do a podcast about vander Pump Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: vander Pump Rules. You're friends with a lot of these guys.
Speaker 1: Where you were? I? Okay? So, Peter, yeah, I I
Speaker 1: What was the job?
Speaker 2: So? I came out for a job working at Team Coco.
Speaker 2: So I was producing a podcast for Rob low his podcast.
Speaker 2: Literally that was my job. I was like the main producer.
Speaker 1: Didn't that just start?
Speaker 2: No, it's been round for a few years, but I
Speaker 2: think I think it's gone through some iterations. Right, So
Speaker 2: they're doing like video and stuff now, but I haven't
Speaker 2: been with them for a couple of years. Okay, But
Speaker 2: I think this is informative because Rob is famously.
Speaker 1: Sober, very famously sober.
Speaker 2: And that comes up so much on the podcast, and
Speaker 2: I am like, oh, so this is such a great
Speaker 2: story for someone to have a redemption whatever, you know.
Speaker 2: But like when I trace my step back, it's like, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm being fed these things like you have a problem
Speaker 2: and I don't even realize it, right, Like I'm I'm
Speaker 2: like in maybe not internalizing, but like once I decided,
Speaker 2: and I'll tell you this story, but like once I
Speaker 2: decided to get sober, I was like, oh, I have
Speaker 2: all this evidence of all of these people talking about
Speaker 2: the problems they have. Oh yeah, that's kind of like me.
Speaker 2: That's kind of like me too. This Oh okay, maybe
Speaker 2: maybe this was the job I needed at the time,
Speaker 2: but yeah, I was. I do this Vanderpump podcast for fun, right,
Speaker 2: and I've had a moderate amount of success with it.
Speaker 2: I have this big project that's tied at the podcast
Speaker 2: that I can. I'll come back on the pod and
Speaker 2: talk about that soon, but it is it was a hobby.
Speaker 2: It was a fun thing for me to do. But
Speaker 2: I met Peter because of the podcast, and he was like,
Speaker 2: when you get to La, let's hang out. And I
Speaker 2: went to a barbecue with him where I got really
Speaker 2: fucked up at and not dangerous, but you know, just
Speaker 2: I'm partying. I'm in La, I'm with Peter Peter Madrigal, Like,
Speaker 2: what what is going on here? And then he invites
Speaker 2: me to get brunch. I've been there for about two months,
Speaker 2: three months maybe, and we go to Pump and we
Speaker 2: get bottomless mimosas and I specifically remember ordering avocado toast
Speaker 2: and I can't eat onions and it was loaded with onions,
Speaker 2: so I like was politely just like eating the crust
Speaker 2: of the toast and drinking a lot of bottomless mimosas.
Speaker 2: And then Peter was like, let's go to the cigar
Speaker 2: bar down the street. Okay, go to a cigar bar
Speaker 2: where we just he just orders me like tequila shots,
Speaker 2: and so we just start sipping tequila, taking shots every
Speaker 2: now and again, smoking cigars, which I don't do like
Speaker 2: I'm not a cigar guy. I don't know what that
Speaker 2: I mean, but you know, six mimosas and three tequila
Speaker 2: shots later, I'm a cigar guy, you know.
Speaker 1: And I have a friend who told me so. I
Speaker 1: did a bunch of coke when I was like nineteen,
Speaker 1: from the age of nineteen to like literally for like
Speaker 1: six months, and I saw the writing on the wall.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm going to be a cocore if
Speaker 1: I continue to like do cocaine. I got to quit
Speaker 1: doing cocaine. I quit. I think I did it one
Speaker 1: more time because somebody offered it to me. But I
Speaker 1: have a friend when I was doing stand up. I
Speaker 1: have a friend who told me many years later so
Speaker 1: that every single time I got drunk with him, I
Speaker 1: tried to buy cocaine off a stranger. And I was like,
Speaker 1: I know, I never did it again, so apparently I
Speaker 1: never nobody ever had it to sell me. But I
Speaker 1: don't remember that, but he swears. I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: sure I didn't, And he's like, every single time you
Speaker 1: got drunk, you tried to find somebody to sell you cocaine.
Speaker 2: I will say, like towards my last few years, in Kansas,
Speaker 2: like someone started having the co cocup, and let me
Speaker 2: tell you, cocain Kansas is not cocaine. Other places it
Speaker 2: is fine. I guess I didn't really have much to
Speaker 2: compare it to, right, but I really liked it. And
Speaker 2: there was also a point in time, not to backtrack
Speaker 2: too far, that like I was going through a breakup
Speaker 2: and so depressed, and this Ta that I was friends with,
Speaker 2: he was also going through a breakup and he was depressed,
Speaker 2: and he got a prescription to Adderall and I loved Adderall.
Speaker 2: But then he moved away and I did not, and
Speaker 2: I said, I'm not going to seek this out because
Speaker 2: I loved it, and he just wanted someone to drink with,
Speaker 2: and oh, yeah, here, have one, have one, stay hang out.
Speaker 2: Let's let's be friends, you know. And so I do
Speaker 2: know that I like that a lot as well. And
Speaker 2: luckily I never got into that in New York or LA,
Speaker 2: because I would be dead, literally, like I just know
Speaker 2: I would be dead, especially with fentanyl and everything else.
Speaker 2: Like I I would drink too much and not give
Speaker 2: a shit about anything else. And so Peter and I
Speaker 2: are having cigars, and that's about the last thing I
Speaker 2: remember but apparent we went to another bar around West Hollywood.
Speaker 2: I don't know, We're like we were having a ball,
Speaker 2: like I'm told, yeah, and then we go home or
Speaker 2: go go to his place, and I this is where
Speaker 2: I only have like flashes of memory, but like I
Speaker 2: remember falling down. Peter and his brother like picking me
Speaker 2: up and being like, yo, dude, we called your girlfriend.
Speaker 2: She's here. And they told me later on that what
Speaker 2: they had to do was they pulled my phone and
Speaker 2: like did the facial recognition. Luckily they knew my girlfriend's
Speaker 2: name and like found her and called her. And let
Speaker 2: me tell you this, It's eight o'clock at night, Like
Speaker 2: it is not this is this is not like the
Speaker 2: four in the morning or something. We've been drinking all day.
Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, we had started like maybe eleven am.
Speaker 2: And uh, she comes and picks me up. They carry
Speaker 2: me in the car, the dogs in the back seat,
Speaker 2: because he can't be left alone, especially in a new apartment.
Speaker 1: She stops.
Speaker 2: I remember like hitting my head on the passenger side
Speaker 2: window more than once because I can't keep my head up.
Speaker 2: She's at like some gas station, like buying gatorades or
Speaker 2: something maybe to keep me hydrated. I mean, bless her heart,
Speaker 2: because like I don't know if I could have had
Speaker 2: the patience for dealing with such a pathetic, you know
Speaker 2: person here. And then, like I said, I woke up
Speaker 2: gasping in the next morning, not knowing how I got home.
Speaker 2: The washing machine is running, So I have a feeling
Speaker 2: someone washed my clothes for some reason the night before,
Speaker 2: any number of reasons. Quite frankly, I know, I'm.
Speaker 1: Hoping it's not the worst case scenario.
Speaker 2: I'm hoping it's not the worst. And guess what, I
Speaker 2: never asked, but I have a feeling that I'm sure
Speaker 2: I just puked on myself.
Speaker 1: But let's tell that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what. You know what, even if it is worse,
Speaker 2: it's never happening again, as as much as I can
Speaker 2: hope for. Uh, the I hop on the call and
Speaker 2: I called my friend John DeVore, who I'm just gonna plug.
Speaker 2: His book. It's called Theater Kids. It's a story of
Speaker 2: him being a drunk idiot, and it's one of the
Speaker 2: one of the best books I've memoirs I've read about
Speaker 2: that And my favorite part is because it's not your
Speaker 2: cookie cutter story. I'll just put it that way. I
Speaker 2: think it ends in a very unique way for a
Speaker 2: drunk person memoir.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm writing, I'm writing it down John DeVore.
Speaker 2: Yeah, John DeVore, Theater kids, and it's the theater with
Speaker 2: an R E.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, okay.
Speaker 2: Uh. And I was like, John, I don't know what
Speaker 2: to do. I don't know what's going on. I have
Speaker 2: an issue, and of course I'm like probably still drunk, right,
Speaker 2: Like I'm chaotic, panicking. And I was like, I guess
Speaker 2: I need you to like be my sponsor or something.
Speaker 2: He was like, well, I can't do that because you're
Speaker 2: my friend. He was like, but and he gave me
Speaker 2: what I've learned is a very good line. He's like,
Speaker 2: you might not be an alcoholic, but why don't you
Speaker 2: go to a meeting and listen to some other people talk.
Speaker 2: I was an alcoholic, very much was an alcoholic. And
Speaker 2: I think that's such.
Speaker 1: Good advice though, because I think that when when you're
Speaker 1: not sure if you're an alcoholic, right, and I know
Speaker 1: plenty of people who are like, oh god, I knew
Speaker 1: I was an alcoholic. I just didn't know how to
Speaker 1: get sober. But when you're somebody and me like you
Speaker 1: because you'd gone through periods, it sounds like that you
Speaker 1: weren't out of control, and then it's like you, I
Speaker 1: relate to you a lot because to me, I was
Speaker 1: never like every single day just getting hammered, but it
Speaker 1: was always but when I did, it seemed pretty bad,
Speaker 1: and I couldn't predict when those times would be, you know,
Speaker 1: and I always wanted to. It's like, oh, I just
Speaker 1: want to not get fucked up because this is kind
Speaker 1: of like a nice evening with my husband's friends or whatever.
Speaker 1: And then it's like, oh, that night I had to
Speaker 1: like get too drunk. I didn't mean to. I never
Speaker 1: meant to. But when I first got sober. You know,
Speaker 1: if somebody I felt like people that were alcoholics that
Speaker 1: went to like twelve step meetings, I thought they were
Speaker 1: all just trying to get everybody else to be alcoholics.
Speaker 1: So it wouldn't have worked very well for me. If
Speaker 1: people were like, well, you definitely are an alcoholic, you
Speaker 1: belong here. I think that would have freaked me out.
Speaker 1: The fact that people were very much like you're like
Speaker 1: John's and going like hey, I don't know, like but
Speaker 1: maybe it should just come to a meeting and like
Speaker 1: check it out and like can't hurt. I had a
Speaker 1: lot of that. Yeah, yeah, so I and I really
Speaker 1: wanted to quit drinking. Don't get me wrong. I was
Speaker 1: desperate to quit drinking, but I just wasn't wanting the
Speaker 1: label right away.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's similar to me too, because I I
Speaker 2: knew at that point I needed to stop, like because
Speaker 2: I was also you know, in a state at the
Speaker 2: point in time where I could go buy weed legally,
Speaker 2: and I spent a lot of money on pot, like
Speaker 2: a lot, because as I learned through the program, Like,
Speaker 2: there's a lot of things I was trying to numb,
Speaker 2: you know, there was just just stuff I'd never faced
Speaker 2: myself and realized I was distracting. But like much like
Speaker 2: at my example with the glass of water at a restaurant,
Speaker 2: like if I'd go buy a ten pack joint combo thing,
Speaker 2: right like, it would be one after the other after
Speaker 2: the other. So there was something about consumption for me.
Speaker 2: There was something about not being able to stop and
Speaker 2: just keep that high or keep that drunk, or keep
Speaker 2: that whatever going. And and I don't know why, right like,
Speaker 2: and I may never know exactly why besides the things
Speaker 2: that I didn't like about myself, but it was so
Speaker 2: much easier to just be stoned all day, because stoned
Speaker 2: all day is not drunk all day. There's the there's
Speaker 2: also that that I learned, like I could operate pretty
Speaker 2: well stone. I mean, I'm sure everyone fucking knew, but
Speaker 2: like I could still get my work done and I
Speaker 2: could focus and I could do this. But it is
Speaker 2: I mean, but the booze was the thing where it's
Speaker 2: like socially acceptable to go out and party, but I
Speaker 2: never knew how to have two. I never knew how
Speaker 2: to have just three, right like yeah, same he It
Speaker 2: was not why the hell am I drinking if I'm
Speaker 2: not going to have fun drinking, which ultimately, of course
Speaker 2: ended up not being fun, but it was really fun
Speaker 2: as it was happening, and all of my inhibitions went
Speaker 2: to the wind, and I just it didn't make sense
Speaker 2: to me why anyone would go have a glass of wine,
Speaker 2: and then why would you even choose wine if you're
Speaker 2: gonna have one drink? Like what like? And I still
Speaker 2: don't understand it. I really don't, Like I won't do
Speaker 2: it myself, but like, I don't get what the point is.
Speaker 2: I've never been able to figure that out. And I
Speaker 2: people will tell me. I still just don't get it.
Speaker 1: I don't get it either, certainly not for the taste.
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, you know, I could disguise drinks martinis
Speaker 1: and have you know, sour apple martinis or what have you.
Speaker 1: But I wasn't going to drink that, like unless it
Speaker 1: had alcohol in it, Like, I'm not gonna like it
Speaker 1: wasn't for the taste, So why would I have one? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's not going to make me buzzed. It's not going
Speaker 1: to give me the feeling I want. So why would
Speaker 1: I bother doing something that doesn't taste good?
Speaker 2: And don't even try and give me tell me about
Speaker 2: Tannin's Like, I'm not here to listen anything about why
Speaker 2: it's good. I don't care. If I'm not buzzed, it
Speaker 2: does not matter. And I do not care if you
Speaker 2: are offering me top shelf anything or the gutter that
Speaker 2: it's all doing the same thing. It does not matter. Otherwise.
Speaker 1: So you go to a meeting at the advice of
Speaker 1: John and do you hear what does anything resonate? Are
Speaker 1: you like, Ah, this doesn't really apply to me. What happens?
Speaker 1: Did you stay sober from that point? Was that three
Speaker 1: years ago?
Speaker 2: Yeah. From that point I stayed. I have stayed sober.
Speaker 1: Okay, but here is a long time by the way, congratulations, Well.
Speaker 2: I appreciate that. Thank you. I but I still like
Speaker 2: fought and I still do kind of like push back
Speaker 2: at AA a little bit. You know, I think it
Speaker 2: is at its core a good system, but I don't
Speaker 2: think it's a system that works for everyone.
Speaker 1: And fully agree, Yeah, but it is.
Speaker 2: A great starting point if you need camaraderie, if you
Speaker 2: need people, if you need a place to go, it
Speaker 2: is a place to go with other people who are struggling.
Speaker 2: I pushed back a lot because to me, it was like,
Speaker 2: I'll stay sober, I'll go to these meetings, I will
Speaker 2: be honest, I will talk about my problems anything that
Speaker 2: I'm struggling with. But I almost treated it more like
Speaker 2: a therapy session. And then I did actually working any
Speaker 2: of the actual program they try and do getting a sponsor,
Speaker 2: you know, trying figuring all of that out. Not for
Speaker 2: me for like three months, Like I would just I
Speaker 2: would go to the meeting and I would listen and
Speaker 2: I would share when I have a particularly bad day,
Speaker 2: I would share longer.
Speaker 1: Right, But that's pretty good. Only that was for three months.
Speaker 1: That's relatively people do.
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, well, but you know, here's the thing. I'm
Speaker 2: comparing myself to the other story. I wanted to get,
Speaker 2: but I also didn't because I also wanted that loophole.
Speaker 1: But now looking back, You're like, I wasn't working hard enough.
Speaker 2: Well yeah, yeah, because there's also like that thing in
Speaker 2: my head where I'm was like, well, you know, maybe
Speaker 2: maybe i'll drink again, you know, like maybe this is
Speaker 2: what I need right now, and maybe in five years
Speaker 2: i'll drink again. Is you know, maybe I'm not now alcoholic.
Speaker 2: So I like it was kind of straddling that line.
Speaker 2: I was like, right now, I know I don't want
Speaker 2: to drink, and I'm going to keep doing that until
Speaker 2: the day that I'm like, hey, maybe i'll drink again,
Speaker 2: right And luckily I don't think that way anymore. But
Speaker 2: that's how it was for a good amount of time
Speaker 2: when I was first going to AA meetings, and then
Speaker 2: one day I was sharing about I think I told
Speaker 2: this story about how I was like one semester left
Speaker 2: in college and had to do like a couple of credits,
Speaker 2: so I had to like act in some one act
Speaker 2: plays and like at this point, I was like beyond
Speaker 2: the like acting part of theater and film. I was
Speaker 2: just like doing script stuff. But I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: I have to get like these three credits, so I
Speaker 2: have to like act in a one act for someone.
Speaker 2: And I did not care. I memorized the lines, you know,
Speaker 2: but I was still going out partying, and there was
Speaker 2: like one night where I partied really hard, fell down
Speaker 2: the steps and then like I guess I cut my
Speaker 2: arm open on a coffee and I because I just
Speaker 2: like woke up to my alarm the next day and
Speaker 2: it's like still drunk, but I have to go to
Speaker 2: this rehearsal for this thing, and to me in my head,
Speaker 2: I'm like, this is the best performance I've ever given
Speaker 2: for this drunk brother eating cold ravioli out of the
Speaker 2: can because it was it was cool, like I would
Speaker 2: do this, not eat at all, putting the pieces together.
Speaker 2: And then afterwards the person the director was like, okay, great,
Speaker 2: you can leave now, and I left and as I'm
Speaker 2: like walking out the hallway, there's like all this dried
Speaker 2: blood on my arm and on my shirt and like
Speaker 2: ID like a stain on my face, probably maybe from
Speaker 2: the ravioli but like this person I could tell was
Speaker 2: like a student. It's like a graduate student directing this
Speaker 2: like god, damn it, just I need to finish this play.
Speaker 2: I can tell they're just like this kid is a
Speaker 2: fuck up. So anyway, I'm like telling this story and
Speaker 2: like relating it back to It's around the time I
Speaker 2: had got dumped, and I was just like really using
Speaker 2: every excuse to like give myself permission to drink. I mean,
Speaker 2: I talked about when my brother died, like that was
Speaker 2: really sad, and I was like, ah, he died because
Speaker 2: of booze, but this like I get like a free pass,
Speaker 2: like if I get really fucked up, Oh, don't worry.
Speaker 2: His brother died right right right. So selfish, just so
Speaker 2: incredibly selfish. And so I would talk about that in
Speaker 2: the meeting. I would talk about getting dumped and having
Speaker 2: these reasons and then not feeling valued and this, uh,
Speaker 2: this guy came up to me and he was like afterwards,
Speaker 2: he'd never I'd never seen him at this meeting before,
Speaker 2: but he like stayed outside until I left, and he
Speaker 2: was like, dude, do you have a sponsor? Even I
Speaker 2: was like no, I don't know if I really need one.
Speaker 2: I'm not sure if I'm ready for that or anything.
Speaker 2: He was like, well, why don't we do this, Like
Speaker 2: why don't you get like a tempt sponsor? And I'm
Speaker 2: happy to be, like, you're imp sponsor because like I
Speaker 2: think there's like a couple of things that are like
Speaker 2: easier to talk about one on one rather than like
Speaker 2: coming to these meetings and just like verbal vomiting and dumping.
Speaker 2: And I was like, yeah, that sounds that sounds good
Speaker 2: of course, much like with John, like that guy becomes
Speaker 2: my sponsor, you know, and and you know, we ebb
Speaker 2: and flow on when we talk these days because I
Speaker 2: moved away, But like that's exactly like sort of like
Speaker 2: it almost feels like a trick, but it's not a
Speaker 2: trick because they know what you need to hear at
Speaker 2: that moment to like get the best out of the
Speaker 2: potential that you could be doing. Yeah, and and he
Speaker 2: really helped me work through all the steps. And that's
Speaker 2: when I realized that like even if I don't like
Speaker 2: quote believe in God or whatever, like my higher powers, whatever,
Speaker 2: I need my higher power to be and I don't
Speaker 2: have to like buy into a lot of things with AA.
Speaker 2: But like if I look at it as like a
Speaker 2: a worksheet or like like a way that I can
Speaker 2: wrap my head around it, Like I can kind of
Speaker 2: ignore some of the more like holier than thou aspects
Speaker 2: of it and still stay sober and keep myself in
Speaker 2: check when I'm trying to, like I don't know, control
Speaker 2: others or play god or something like that. So that's
Speaker 2: that's kind of where I have I've been. And then
Speaker 2: I met one of my to this day, one of
Speaker 2: my best friends in the program because I was wearing
Speaker 2: a Tom Tom shirt I bought during COVID and he
Speaker 2: was like, is that like from Vanderpofe Rules And I
Speaker 2: was like yeah, and he's like, I've also got a
Speaker 2: reality TV podcast and just kind of like hit it off. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but I will keep that anonymous.
Speaker 1: Sure, sure, sure, yeah, yeah, but it's been great.
Speaker 2: And so it's like, not only did I have a
Speaker 2: friend who has a same hobbies as me, he also
Speaker 2: you know, we can call each other if we're having
Speaker 2: a little bit of an issue with meetings or whatnot.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I just I really relate to you.
Speaker 1: I have the same thing. And I've been going, you know,
Speaker 1: sixteen years, I've been sober but I do feel the
Speaker 1: same way. I'm not like a I mean, I have
Speaker 1: a regular meeting that I go to every week, and
Speaker 1: then I have or probably well one that I go
Speaker 1: to every single week. I have a commitment, but then
Speaker 1: and then I have a one or two that I
Speaker 1: might catch as catch can, but I don't. I've still
Speaker 1: not a god person. It's not I mean, and but
Speaker 1: I also feel the exact same way that there's a framework.
Speaker 1: There's a way of looking at situations which used to
Speaker 1: baffle us. There's a way of looking at like my
Speaker 1: own behavior that I really couldn't do before. And there's
Speaker 1: a way of like looking at my childhood which was
Speaker 1: like pretty chaotic in my relationships with my mother and stepfather.
Speaker 1: And I was very defensive and you couldn't tell me anything.
Speaker 1: I just thought you were trying to attack me. I
Speaker 1: couldn't take any criticism, and it was very hard, like
Speaker 1: with my husband, you know, I mean, he I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm not saying I'm one hundred percent better. I still
Speaker 1: it's I'm still hard to talk to, I'm still hard
Speaker 1: to criticize, but I'm better at it. I don't immediately
Speaker 1: go like, oh my god, you're you're leaving me and
Speaker 1: you hate me, and well why are you even with me?
Speaker 2: Then?
Speaker 1: But I have had so many fights with him, you
Speaker 1: know when I was drinking, where I would go, well,
Speaker 1: then why are you with me? Why do you even
Speaker 1: like me? If I'm so horrible, like I go from
Speaker 1: I would go from zero to one hundred. And it
Speaker 1: was all like a protection, you know, like I either
Speaker 1: have to be perfect or I'm the shittiest. And I
Speaker 1: do believe that the that twelve steps helped me deal
Speaker 1: with some a lot of unresolved I guess I'm just
Speaker 1: relating to what you're saying, but it doesn't know I'm
Speaker 1: right there, meaning that I like get on my knees
Speaker 1: and do prayers or that you have to. And whenever
Speaker 1: people say to me like, oh I don't want to
Speaker 1: do that because like it's a religious thing, I go,
Speaker 1: it's really not. You don't have to do anything. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was the big thing for me too, Like
Speaker 2: someone put it in my sponsor to put it in
Speaker 2: the framework of like, look, man, I was raised Jewish
Speaker 2: and I go to these meetings where sometimes they're ending
Speaker 2: with like the Lord's prayer. Yeah, like he's like, this
Speaker 2: is not something that I do, and I just like
Speaker 2: kind of compartmentalize those things because like, to me, a
Speaker 2: higher power could mean like the energy I get from
Speaker 2: just like when I feel good after going to a meeting, right, Like,
Speaker 2: it's just like that's something that's out of my control
Speaker 2: but made me feel a certain way. So like if
Speaker 2: you need to put in any sort of framework like that,
Speaker 2: He's like that at least like keeps you from like
Speaker 2: convincing yourself that you could have another drink. He's like,
Speaker 2: do what you gotta do. But it is that framework.
Speaker 2: And let me tell you, I'm getting ready to move
Speaker 2: back to Los Angeles, but I moved out near Joshua
Speaker 2: Tree and going to meetings in the middle of the
Speaker 2: desert that like have been going on for twenty plus
Speaker 2: years and it's the same like five people and like
Speaker 2: then being the new guy who's like maybe the closest
Speaker 2: to my age is ten years older than me. Right,
Speaker 2: that gave me perspective on how different meetings could work,
Speaker 2: because I went to a handful of different LA meetings
Speaker 2: as well. But I mean amount of people there who
Speaker 2: will say something, well, I will say are very much
Speaker 2: not religious, but are like but the program fucking works
Speaker 2: for me, brother, you know, or something like, I realized
Speaker 2: that there are no hard and fast rules. But these concepts,
Speaker 2: the concepts have helped so many people. And unfortunately, like
Speaker 2: someone in the in the meeting I go to out
Speaker 2: here recently passed away and he had a very good life.
Speaker 2: He was up there, he like started this meeting. He's
Speaker 2: been like a pillar of the small community out here.
Speaker 2: And when I went and visited him in the hospital,
Speaker 2: we spent an hour just like talking about you know,
Speaker 2: like essentially one day at a time. But how He's like,
Speaker 2: I'm in a fucking hospital bed, rob, I could be
Speaker 2: pissed that I'm dying every single day. He's like, but
Speaker 2: I don't know if I'm gonna die fucking tonight in
Speaker 2: my sleep, or if I'm gonna die in six months.
Speaker 2: I don't know. So I'm not gonna spend every single
Speaker 2: day pissed off that I'm gonna die, or that I'm
Speaker 2: worried that I'm gonna die or I didn't do this
Speaker 2: last thing. It's like, I'm gonna do my best to
Speaker 2: have a good day and then if I get another
Speaker 2: good day, that's gonna be great. And I recently shared
Speaker 2: that conversation after he passed away, because it hit me
Speaker 2: so hard that like, because I do I worry about
Speaker 2: the bullshit and I'm moving and it's annoying and it's
Speaker 2: like so stressful and chaotic and that could but that
Speaker 2: could be anything. It doesn't have to be because I'm
Speaker 2: moving and and someone and also shared with me later like, yeah,
Speaker 2: we don't know when we're going to die. You can't
Speaker 2: control when you're going to die. Like that's a control
Speaker 2: thing too, And it's like do you want to find
Speaker 2: out you're dying and then be like God, damn, I
Speaker 2: was pissed all day long, and your last day alive
Speaker 2: was being pissed off. Like that sucks, you know, Like
Speaker 2: or if you decide to drink your last day alive,
Speaker 2: is you going like, well, I fucking picked up the
Speaker 2: bottle again, woe is me? Tears and my beers, you know,
Speaker 2: and like that these are just things that I get
Speaker 2: from these meetings that i'm and like the people that
Speaker 2: I meet that I'm just like so like it really
Speaker 2: resets me when I'm like not when I forget to
Speaker 2: like one minute, one hour, one day, whatever, it is
Speaker 2: when I get really worked up because I've been worked
Speaker 2: up recently because of this, you know, living surrounded by
Speaker 2: boxes and a dog, you know, yeah, and my girlfriend
Speaker 2: and why and.
Speaker 1: Joshua Tree in the first place.
Speaker 2: I well, I mean just circumstances of I moved to
Speaker 2: LA for the job and then they barely had me
Speaker 2: ever go into an office. So I was like, and
Speaker 2: we went through three management companies in one year of
Speaker 2: having an apartment in LA, and I was like, I
Speaker 2: think they're going to raise our rent. Maybe we should
Speaker 2: just go. Interest rates are lower than they've ever been.
Speaker 2: Let's see if we can buy a house, honey. And
Speaker 2: we loved vacationing in Joshua Tree. Well, living in it
Speaker 2: is not the same. And so we were like, we'll
Speaker 2: give ourselves five years and we made and we made
Speaker 2: it three. So we realize, uh, you know, it wasn't
Speaker 2: for us. And then shortly after I moved out here,
Speaker 2: they were like, actually, we want you to drive in
Speaker 2: two or three days a week to the office. And
Speaker 2: I was like, what, I can't. I can't do that.
Speaker 2: And then I got a different job, so okay, And
Speaker 2: it wasn't Conan. It wasn't Conan. I'll tell you this,
Speaker 2: this is like serious XM bought that network and then
Speaker 2: rules started changing because got.
Speaker 1: It, got it all right, Well tell us the podcast,
Speaker 1: tell promote, promote away, Hey, I appreciate it. Robs is
Speaker 1: the Yes.
Speaker 2: That is the podcast.
Speaker 1: Now why is it to Robs or is it?
Speaker 2: Well, it's just it's vander Pump r O B S.
Speaker 2: And then I'll have usually my co host is Kate Shapiro,
Speaker 2: very incredible writer. I used to produce a Star Trek
Speaker 2: podcast where the hosts would call me producer Robs because
Speaker 2: of Rob Shualty. And they on tour one day said like,
Speaker 2: if you ever do a show like ours but it's
Speaker 2: vander Pump, you should call it vander Pump Robs and
Speaker 2: like I was like, hey, I'll honor you guys with
Speaker 2: that when I make the show. And uh so the
Speaker 2: vander Pump Robs wherever you get your podcas it's not
Speaker 2: Patreon as well, And I will say the fun thing
Speaker 2: I've been doing this summer with my friend Molly McLear
Speaker 2: is a yeah, We've been doing a show called have
Speaker 2: Zi's where while her show trend Lightly is on a hiatus,
Speaker 2: we're filling that time with have Zi's, which Molly brings
Speaker 2: a topic, I bring a topic, and we just each
Speaker 2: share one thing we want the other one to hear about.
Speaker 2: So those are the two projects I'm promoting right now.
Speaker 2: And I'm really really happy that we were able to
Speaker 2: connect because I do really like your podcasts and this
Speaker 2: has been a blest being able to share my story
Speaker 2: with you.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Well, everybody that was Rob Shulty
Speaker 1: and go check out his podcast, give him a download.
Speaker 1: Why not follow him on Instagram, which is also vander
Speaker 1: pump Rob's I believe is the is the Instagram great?
Speaker 1: Need some followers.
Speaker 2: I know I'm not good at social media, but I
Speaker 2: would love some followers.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, everybody, Thank you so much and I
Speaker 1: will see you next week.
Speaker 2: Bye. Sorry, Line and it's gutting dealing. Line is doing
Speaker 2: is going again? My dart It time you got