WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:05.480 You show where limits get torched and possibility takes the mic. 2 00:00:06.120 --> 00:00:11.880 I'm lea rowing human in permanent beta, neurostrategist, mom to 3 00:00:12.000 --> 00:00:16.559 three amazing humans, married to one legendary soul, and your 4 00:00:16.879 --> 00:00:21.800 no fluff permission slate to stop waiting. Every week, we 5 00:00:21.800 --> 00:00:26.519 rewire brain patterns, smash hand me down mindsets, and dive 6 00:00:26.760 --> 00:00:32.520 into the daring identity shifting conversations most people got ready 7 00:00:32.600 --> 00:00:36.679 to turn potential into proof. Grab your pen. Your next 8 00:00:37.000 --> 00:00:46.000 chapter starts now. Hello, my beautiful friend, how are you? 9 00:00:46.200 --> 00:00:50.200 I am so glad that you're tuning in to this 10 00:00:50.320 --> 00:00:56.560 conversation today. I really do. I think about you, and 11 00:00:56.640 --> 00:00:59.920 you know who you are. I think about you listening 12 00:01:00.119 --> 00:01:03.159 this on your walk. I think about you listening to 13 00:01:03.159 --> 00:01:13.480 this as you're folding laundry, as you're untangling fishing line. 14 00:01:13.799 --> 00:01:16.319 And so it gives me a lot of delight to 15 00:01:16.400 --> 00:01:18.719 know that, even though I'm here in my room by myself, 16 00:01:19.519 --> 00:01:21.840 I really do envision each and every one of you 17 00:01:22.159 --> 00:01:25.799 listening to this, and I honor that. I honor that, 18 00:01:26.120 --> 00:01:28.359 with so many different distractions out there that you could 19 00:01:28.359 --> 00:01:35.680 be doing, you taking a minute too really think about 20 00:01:35.760 --> 00:01:38.920 this work in a way that impacts your ability to 21 00:01:39.000 --> 00:01:44.239 lead and your ability to be influential in your life 22 00:01:44.719 --> 00:01:47.120 is something that I just want to acknowledge and appreciate. 23 00:01:47.159 --> 00:01:50.400 So thank you, thank you. We are going to end 24 00:01:50.519 --> 00:01:55.760 this series with what I am calling a manifesto. Most 25 00:01:55.799 --> 00:01:59.560 of us have never written one, right. We've for sure 26 00:01:59.599 --> 00:02:04.400 written goals, we've written affirmations, we have written the things 27 00:02:04.439 --> 00:02:09.759 that we maybe wish were true, but almost none of 28 00:02:09.840 --> 00:02:17.919 us have stopped and named, clearly, without apologizing, without softening 29 00:02:18.039 --> 00:02:24.560 for anyone else, the actual things that we believe. And 30 00:02:24.639 --> 00:02:27.360 so today I'm going to do that. I'm going to 31 00:02:27.439 --> 00:02:30.759 do that on this podcast with you. I'm going to 32 00:02:30.919 --> 00:02:34.680 name five things that I have come to believe about 33 00:02:34.680 --> 00:02:39.759 worth after twenty plus years of doing this work, over 34 00:02:39.879 --> 00:02:44.879 fifty years of living this work. Not in the books, 35 00:02:45.479 --> 00:02:51.120 not the things that I read in a course or 36 00:02:51.159 --> 00:02:55.840 in a program, not the things my favorite teachers or 37 00:02:55.919 --> 00:02:59.400 mentors have shared with me, but the five things that 38 00:03:00.560 --> 00:03:05.319 that I've survived, right, the ones that are still standing 39 00:03:05.400 --> 00:03:10.800 after thousands of conversations and hundreds of breakdowns and my 40 00:03:10.879 --> 00:03:18.240 own like slow, hard, ongoing daily practice of returning home 41 00:03:18.280 --> 00:03:21.840 to myself. And then the second half of the episode, 42 00:03:22.000 --> 00:03:24.000 I'm going to give you a practice. I'm going to 43 00:03:24.039 --> 00:03:28.840 give you three quiet questions, right, something that you can 44 00:03:28.879 --> 00:03:33.800 carry from this conversation into the rest of your life. 45 00:03:33.960 --> 00:03:37.639 So this is the close of the May series, so 46 00:03:37.680 --> 00:03:39.800 I want to close it in the way that it deserves. 47 00:03:40.960 --> 00:03:45.240 But before I start, I do want to say something 48 00:03:45.479 --> 00:03:49.479 about why a manifesto I because the word kind of 49 00:03:49.479 --> 00:03:53.240 feels big. One of my favorite books as a side 50 00:03:53.439 --> 00:03:56.599 is The Motivational Manifesto by Brendan Burchard. It's a It's 51 00:03:56.639 --> 00:03:59.439 a fantastic read if you haven't if you haven't read it, 52 00:03:59.759 --> 00:04:02.039 but I really want to break down the word a 53 00:04:02.039 --> 00:04:06.039 little bit because it does feel It feels really expansive, 54 00:04:06.080 --> 00:04:08.439 it feels very public. It feels like something that you 55 00:04:08.520 --> 00:04:11.680 do when you have all the answers. And I really 56 00:04:11.680 --> 00:04:14.919 want to be clear with you, I do not. I 57 00:04:14.960 --> 00:04:18.680 do not have all the answers. I have answers that 58 00:04:18.720 --> 00:04:22.439 I've lived, and there is a difference. I believe this, 59 00:04:22.480 --> 00:04:24.560 and I've said this many times on a podcast. I 60 00:04:24.600 --> 00:04:26.800 believe that the only thing that we're ever a master 61 00:04:26.920 --> 00:04:31.480 at is our own experience, Okay, And so a manifesto 62 00:04:31.560 --> 00:04:34.000 is not a list of all the things that you 63 00:04:34.079 --> 00:04:37.519 have proven, but rather it is a list of things 64 00:04:37.560 --> 00:04:40.759 that you are willing to stand on. And the willingness 65 00:04:41.319 --> 00:04:47.560 is the whole point. It's the whole point. So maybe 66 00:04:47.560 --> 00:04:54.800 you write one today, and most of us right might 67 00:04:54.839 --> 00:04:57.959 not write one because we're afraid to be wrong. We're 68 00:04:57.959 --> 00:05:00.600 afraid that if we name what we believe and we 69 00:05:00.680 --> 00:05:05.040 change it later, that will be exposed as a fraud 70 00:05:05.120 --> 00:05:07.839 or as a liar. So we kind of keep our 71 00:05:07.839 --> 00:05:11.399 beliefs very vague, very safe. We keep them flexible, we 72 00:05:11.519 --> 00:05:16.240 keep them deniable, We allow ourselves to excuse ourselves out 73 00:05:16.319 --> 00:05:24.519 of them, and the cost of that is it's a 74 00:05:24.600 --> 00:05:28.000 quiet cost, but it's something of never naming what we 75 00:05:28.199 --> 00:05:33.360 actually believe. And when we don't do that, we never 76 00:05:33.399 --> 00:05:39.240 get to fully live from anything. Okay. So my hope 77 00:05:39.720 --> 00:05:44.800 is that this is an invitation, maybe encouraging for you 78 00:05:44.879 --> 00:05:47.839 to write a manifesto of yourself, and maybe you hashtag 79 00:05:48.160 --> 00:05:52.560 and find me and put hashtag manifesto, and if you'd 80 00:05:52.600 --> 00:05:56.519 be willing to share some parts of your manifesto with 81 00:05:56.560 --> 00:05:58.800 me on any topic that you want to, this is 82 00:05:58.920 --> 00:06:04.720 just the topic around worth this this month, and and courage. 83 00:06:04.920 --> 00:06:07.720 I would love that. Okay, So I'm going to name 84 00:06:09.079 --> 00:06:11.040 what I stand on, and I'm going to invite you 85 00:06:11.720 --> 00:06:16.319 to start naming what you stand on to so number one, 86 00:06:16.519 --> 00:06:18.279 number one. And I know this is not going to 87 00:06:18.319 --> 00:06:20.399 surprise you because I've kind of led up to it 88 00:06:20.439 --> 00:06:25.000 this entire in this entire series. But worth is not earned, 89 00:06:26.079 --> 00:06:29.959 Oh you guys, It is not earned. It was given 90 00:06:30.000 --> 00:06:34.920 to you the moment that you arrived. No human is 91 00:06:35.040 --> 00:06:40.920 qualified to revoke it, including you. Okay, you are not 92 00:06:40.959 --> 00:06:44.040 responsible for it. You did not give yourself to it, 93 00:06:45.000 --> 00:06:47.560 and so therefore it is not upon you to take 94 00:06:47.600 --> 00:06:51.120 it away. Okay. It is the foundation. If you do 95 00:06:51.199 --> 00:06:54.279 not believe this one, none of the other four will 96 00:06:54.279 --> 00:06:57.759 hold Okay. And this is what I have come to 97 00:06:57.800 --> 00:07:00.800 know after twenty plus years of city with people in 98 00:07:00.839 --> 00:07:06.759 their hardest moments. The single biggest source of suffering in 99 00:07:06.839 --> 00:07:10.720 a human life is the belief that worth is something 100 00:07:10.759 --> 00:07:14.000 you have to qualify for right, that you have to 101 00:07:14.000 --> 00:07:20.160 be useful enough, productive enough, beautiful enough, agreeable enough, successful enough, 102 00:07:20.480 --> 00:07:28.720 healed enough, smart enough, athletic enough, religious enough. I could 103 00:07:28.759 --> 00:07:32.240 go on and on and on with the enoughs any 104 00:07:32.439 --> 00:07:35.160 enough to be worthy of the life that you are living. 105 00:07:36.839 --> 00:07:40.240 And I do not believe that but I did, and 106 00:07:40.279 --> 00:07:43.319 I haven't believed it for a long time, but I had, 107 00:07:44.360 --> 00:07:48.319 and I am willing to stand on the opposite, which 108 00:07:48.399 --> 00:07:52.839 is that your worth was settled before you ever opened 109 00:07:52.839 --> 00:07:56.759 your eyes. It is not in question. It is not 110 00:07:56.839 --> 00:08:00.160 on trial, nor has it ever been on trial. And 111 00:08:00.240 --> 00:08:05.959 here's the part that is probably the hardest to accept, 112 00:08:06.240 --> 00:08:09.720 which I alluded to at the very beginning. You cannot 113 00:08:09.720 --> 00:08:15.600 revoke it, yeah, and nor can anyone else, even when 114 00:08:15.759 --> 00:08:18.480 you're at your worst, even when you have done the 115 00:08:18.600 --> 00:08:22.079 very thing that you are the most ashamed of. Right, 116 00:08:22.399 --> 00:08:26.439 even when you have failed every test that you set 117 00:08:26.600 --> 00:08:32.159 for yourself, even if you damaged relationships that you were in, 118 00:08:33.679 --> 00:08:41.200 you cannot, not with any amount of self critique, become unworthy. Right. 119 00:08:41.240 --> 00:08:43.240 It is not a thing that you have the power 120 00:08:43.240 --> 00:08:47.519 to undo, because it was never a thing that you 121 00:08:47.559 --> 00:08:50.639 had the power to grant. And that is what we 122 00:08:50.679 --> 00:08:53.960 explored an episode one, that there is a payoff to 123 00:08:54.120 --> 00:08:57.799 staying unworthy, and the payoff is that we get to 124 00:08:58.039 --> 00:09:01.440 keep that question open. And as long as we are 125 00:09:01.480 --> 00:09:05.480 still asking whether we are worthy, we never have to 126 00:09:05.600 --> 00:09:10.759 risk living as if we are. And the manifesto says, 127 00:09:11.200 --> 00:09:16.960 stop asking, stop asking, if you are right. The question 128 00:09:17.039 --> 00:09:19.799 is not yours to answer. It was answered before you 129 00:09:19.840 --> 00:09:25.039 got here, and now the question is now that you are, 130 00:09:25.879 --> 00:09:28.960 what are you capable of? But we have to know 131 00:09:29.000 --> 00:09:30.840 that there's a cost and a payoff. So if you 132 00:09:30.919 --> 00:09:36.600 miss that episode, I invite you to go back, go 133 00:09:36.720 --> 00:09:43.360 back and revisit it. Belief too. Your body has been 134 00:09:43.360 --> 00:09:48.519 telling you the truth your whole life, your whole life, right. 135 00:09:48.799 --> 00:09:52.240 You don't need to master it, Okay, you just need 136 00:09:52.279 --> 00:09:55.480 to stop overwriting it. Okay. I'm not a somatic teacher. 137 00:09:55.840 --> 00:10:01.519 Do I know enough about the metaphysics of the morphogenic fields? Yes? 138 00:10:01.600 --> 00:10:05.600 I do, right, but that is not what I'm teaching 139 00:10:05.720 --> 00:10:09.759 in this episode. Okay. I have lived long enough to know, 140 00:10:10.120 --> 00:10:13.039 and you have lived long enough to know that something 141 00:10:13.159 --> 00:10:16.080 in us has been telling us things. Our minds have 142 00:10:16.200 --> 00:10:22.360 refused to hear. Right, the decision that on paper was 143 00:10:22.399 --> 00:10:25.399 the right one, but every cell in your being was 144 00:10:25.440 --> 00:10:30.919 shouting no. The relationship that you stayed in for years 145 00:10:31.000 --> 00:10:35.399 longer than your body wanted you to, The job that 146 00:10:35.440 --> 00:10:39.759 you took because it looked good and your stomach was 147 00:10:39.960 --> 00:10:44.559 haywire from the first interview, The job that you stayed 148 00:10:44.559 --> 00:10:50.360 in for fifteen years longer excusing yourself out of it, 149 00:10:51.000 --> 00:10:54.159 because even though you didn't love the job, you loved 150 00:10:54.159 --> 00:10:56.799 what enabled you to do and all of that nonsense. 151 00:10:57.960 --> 00:11:03.639 The yes that you dave that immediately felt like a lie. 152 00:11:04.480 --> 00:11:08.440 Oh yes, I'd love to do that. No, No, I 153 00:11:08.480 --> 00:11:12.720 would not. Okay, your body knew, it's always known. It's 154 00:11:12.759 --> 00:11:18.519 always known. But your mind. It's trained you to be polite, 155 00:11:19.320 --> 00:11:23.480 it's trained you to be agreeable. It's trained you to perform, 156 00:11:23.720 --> 00:11:27.360 it's trained you to ask permission, it's trained you to 157 00:11:27.519 --> 00:11:34.360 be nice. That mind over rode your body, over roade. 158 00:11:34.559 --> 00:11:38.919 Your body's fighting for you to have its own back, 159 00:11:41.519 --> 00:11:45.320 to allow yourself to have peace and comfort instead of 160 00:11:45.480 --> 00:11:50.279 sacrificing your peace and your comfort for everyone else's benefit. Okay, 161 00:11:50.559 --> 00:11:52.720 I'm not going to ask you to become an expert 162 00:11:52.720 --> 00:11:55.600 in your own nervous system. I'm not I'm not going 163 00:11:55.600 --> 00:11:59.120 to ask you to memorize anatomy. I'm not going to 164 00:11:59.159 --> 00:12:01.639 ask you to add in another thing to your already 165 00:12:01.639 --> 00:12:06.840 full plate. I'm just asking you to stop overwriting it. Okay, 166 00:12:06.879 --> 00:12:10.240 that is the whole practice. Notice what you already feel, 167 00:12:11.480 --> 00:12:16.519 Trust that it is coming from you. Let it speak 168 00:12:17.519 --> 00:12:20.039 a little sooner. This week than it did last week. 169 00:12:20.559 --> 00:12:23.480 That is enough. That is the work, and that is 170 00:12:23.799 --> 00:12:28.279 what we explored in episode two. We called that episode 171 00:12:28.279 --> 00:12:31.039 I think it was the tell. Right. The tell is 172 00:12:31.080 --> 00:12:35.919 not a diagnosis. It is an acknowledgement. It is something 173 00:12:36.000 --> 00:12:43.600 in you knows. Please stop arguing with it. Every time 174 00:12:43.679 --> 00:12:49.480 you allow yourself to let your body tell, you begin 175 00:12:49.879 --> 00:12:55.440 to trust it. You begin to trust you. You begin 176 00:12:55.840 --> 00:13:01.639 to then have more confidence not just you your ability, 177 00:13:01.879 --> 00:13:05.919 but in the capacity of you, because you know that 178 00:13:06.519 --> 00:13:11.440 whenever there's an answer that's required, they'll trust yourself to 179 00:13:11.440 --> 00:13:18.000 have it. Okay. That's belief number two. Belief number three, 180 00:13:18.240 --> 00:13:22.919 There is a version of you that exists before the 181 00:13:22.960 --> 00:13:30.879 performance begins and everything. Okay, That self is not lost. 182 00:13:32.080 --> 00:13:39.320 It does not require your attention. It requires your absence 183 00:13:40.440 --> 00:13:44.840 as observer. Okay. And I know that was a big mouthful, 184 00:13:45.960 --> 00:13:48.240 and I'm trying to figure out how to condense it. 185 00:13:48.840 --> 00:13:51.080 But this is the one that I am most certain of. 186 00:13:51.799 --> 00:13:54.840 It is the one that nobody talks about because nobody 187 00:13:54.840 --> 00:13:59.519 can sell it to you. Okay, there is a self 188 00:14:01.159 --> 00:14:05.159 that exists before you reach for your phone, right before 189 00:14:05.200 --> 00:14:09.320 you decide what to share, before the internal narrator starts 190 00:14:09.639 --> 00:14:15.120 shaping the moment for some imagined future audience before you 191 00:14:15.120 --> 00:14:19.399 walk into any room, before you have a conversation. That 192 00:14:19.639 --> 00:14:27.840 self is not profound, it's not quotable. It does not 193 00:14:28.080 --> 00:14:30.519 have a I have a posture. It doesn't have a look, 194 00:14:30.559 --> 00:14:33.639 it doesn't have an image, it doesn't have a perception. 195 00:14:35.399 --> 00:14:41.840 It's just you, without commentary, in a moment. And it's 196 00:14:41.879 --> 00:14:45.679 been waiting your whole life for you to come and 197 00:14:45.720 --> 00:14:49.399 find it. And I called and I've been calling this 198 00:14:49.720 --> 00:14:53.120 the unwitnessed self, and I introduced it into in the 199 00:14:53.159 --> 00:14:57.440 episode three of the series. Okay, I built a whole 200 00:14:57.480 --> 00:15:01.919 episode around the parallel from physics called the observer effect. Okay, 201 00:15:02.159 --> 00:15:06.240 and the observer effect basically states that what is watched 202 00:15:06.480 --> 00:15:13.159 changes because it's watched. Okay, the minute you see it, 203 00:15:13.159 --> 00:15:19.639 it changes. Okay, that that your private self is the wave. Okay, 204 00:15:19.840 --> 00:15:26.360 and your public self is the particle right the minute that, 205 00:15:27.000 --> 00:15:31.440 the minute that that particle in a sea of ocean 206 00:15:32.120 --> 00:15:37.919 is saw right, it turns wave. It was just a particle. 207 00:15:38.279 --> 00:15:42.200 The observer effect makes a wave out of that particle. Okay. 208 00:15:43.200 --> 00:15:48.960 Most of us have lived so long as particles, Okay, 209 00:15:49.399 --> 00:15:51.759 And I believe this not as a metaphor, but as 210 00:15:51.840 --> 00:15:57.879 the deepest, quietest, truest thing that I have come to 211 00:15:58.039 --> 00:16:02.600 ever know about being a human. And I believe the 212 00:16:02.639 --> 00:16:07.879 relationship with that self, right, the unwitnessed one, the one 213 00:16:07.960 --> 00:16:13.039 that's not performing, the one that is not evaluating everything 214 00:16:13.080 --> 00:16:15.840 that is spoken and everything that is posted and everything 215 00:16:16.360 --> 00:16:21.519 that is that is brought forward to be observed, okay, 216 00:16:22.360 --> 00:16:26.759 is the most important relationship in your life. You just you, Okay. 217 00:16:27.600 --> 00:16:30.200 It's the most important relationship in your life. Not your partner, 218 00:16:30.320 --> 00:16:33.000 not your children, not your team, not the audience that 219 00:16:33.039 --> 00:16:37.720 you that you speak to. It's it's the one with 220 00:16:37.799 --> 00:16:41.320 the version of you exists when nobody is watching, including you, 221 00:16:42.279 --> 00:16:47.720 including you. The minute you watch you, it changes the 222 00:16:47.799 --> 00:16:52.440 experience of you. The minute you realize and I mentioned 223 00:16:52.480 --> 00:16:55.240 this in the episode, the minute you realize that that 224 00:16:55.360 --> 00:16:59.679 you're crying, it changes the experience of you crying. The 225 00:16:59.720 --> 00:17:04.880 minute it you realize that you're laughing, it changes that experience. 226 00:17:04.920 --> 00:17:08.640 The minute that you realize that you're dancing, it changes 227 00:17:08.680 --> 00:17:15.160 the experience. You're no longer dancing with abandonment, right, You're 228 00:17:15.240 --> 00:17:22.720 dancing observing yourself dancing, okay, And every act of remembering 229 00:17:22.759 --> 00:17:29.519 it you before, the observed you. Every moment, every minute 230 00:17:29.599 --> 00:17:34.079 you spend in your own presence without narrating yourself is 231 00:17:35.119 --> 00:17:40.680 a quiet, world changing thing. Not because the world will 232 00:17:40.720 --> 00:17:47.440 see it, but because you will. And every time you 233 00:17:47.519 --> 00:17:54.119 invite that you into to experience that, you allow the 234 00:17:54.119 --> 00:18:00.880 world to see it too. That is belief three, Okay, 235 00:18:01.400 --> 00:18:09.559 believe for the awakening right is the door. What you 236 00:18:09.640 --> 00:18:14.599 do on Tuesday is the room, meaning the life that 237 00:18:14.640 --> 00:18:18.839 you actually want is built. And when I'm calling the 238 00:18:18.960 --> 00:18:25.920 uncollapsed choices, nobody will ever see you make. Okay, So 239 00:18:27.960 --> 00:18:34.839 personal development conferences, books, podcasts, they sell the awakening right, 240 00:18:34.960 --> 00:18:39.160 the retreat, the breakthrough, the crack open, the moment that 241 00:18:39.200 --> 00:18:43.200 you finally see what you've been doing. Okay, that the 242 00:18:43.319 --> 00:18:46.319 aha moments? Right, And I love those moments, right, and 243 00:18:46.000 --> 00:18:50.000 I've built parts of my life on them, so they're 244 00:18:50.039 --> 00:18:55.400 not nothing. But I have come to believe, deeply, deeply 245 00:18:56.960 --> 00:19:02.200 that the awakening is the easy part. It is the 246 00:19:02.240 --> 00:19:07.160 work is what happens after the Tuesday, after the Wednesday, 247 00:19:07.160 --> 00:19:13.000 after the Thursday, after the hundred small, ordinary, unphotographable choices 248 00:19:13.000 --> 00:19:14.640 that you make in the weeks and the months that 249 00:19:14.720 --> 00:19:22.440 follow the breakthrough, right, that's where the work begins, that 250 00:19:23.000 --> 00:19:27.039 half second pause before you answer the conversation, that you 251 00:19:27.119 --> 00:19:30.400 do not collapse into the old version of yourself, even 252 00:19:30.440 --> 00:19:35.240 though it would be easier, even though it's way more familiar, 253 00:19:35.519 --> 00:19:40.920 even though you're way more practiced at being who you've been. 254 00:19:41.640 --> 00:19:45.519 It takes a lot of courage to choose the future 255 00:19:45.559 --> 00:19:48.920 of you, as opposed to just continuing to rinse and 256 00:19:48.960 --> 00:19:54.960 repeat that old version of you. The practice is not 257 00:19:55.039 --> 00:19:58.839 collapsing back into that past version of you, but to 258 00:19:58.960 --> 00:20:06.000 stay steady and present in this version of you in 259 00:20:06.079 --> 00:20:10.400 those little practices. In those little practices, you begin to 260 00:20:10.519 --> 00:20:22.440 create and collect evidence of your awesomeness right of you, 261 00:20:22.640 --> 00:20:28.559 living uncollapsed, uncollapsing into the quote unquote unworthy self that 262 00:20:28.599 --> 00:20:32.000 you have been living. So what else does this look like? 263 00:20:32.079 --> 00:20:35.559 It looks like it looks like the email that you 264 00:20:35.680 --> 00:20:40.440 do not send, because you realize in the second before 265 00:20:40.480 --> 00:20:44.119 you hit send that it was written either by a 266 00:20:44.240 --> 00:20:52.640 self who was trying to be pleasing, accommodating, or riddled 267 00:20:52.680 --> 00:21:00.599 in in judgment and frustration and annoyance, and rather you 268 00:21:00.720 --> 00:21:04.599 send one that is true, one that is kind, one 269 00:21:04.599 --> 00:21:13.799 that is real, living living uncollapsed is not is not 270 00:21:13.880 --> 00:21:17.240 a personality, it's not a brand. It's not something that 271 00:21:17.279 --> 00:21:24.160 you can really post about. It's it's so small, but don't, 272 00:21:24.839 --> 00:21:37.440 but don't mistakes very private returns to yourself over and 273 00:21:37.519 --> 00:21:41.079 over and over across the rest of your life. I 274 00:21:41.160 --> 00:21:43.920 believe that is where the real life is built. It's 275 00:21:43.960 --> 00:21:46.599 not built in the breakthrough. It's in the choices that 276 00:21:46.880 --> 00:21:50.519 nobody will ever see you make but you. And that 277 00:21:50.680 --> 00:21:53.039 is the point. That is the point, because when you 278 00:21:53.119 --> 00:21:56.680 learn how to source yourself, you won't you won't need 279 00:21:56.720 --> 00:21:59.400 anyone to source it for you. That is a level 280 00:21:59.440 --> 00:22:03.319 of freedom that I think most of us aspire to 281 00:22:03.319 --> 00:22:06.279 get to. And that's what we explored an episode for. 282 00:22:07.640 --> 00:22:09.920 I think it was like the Tuesday After is the 283 00:22:09.960 --> 00:22:14.039 Work or something like that. But that is the work, 284 00:22:14.359 --> 00:22:18.559 That is the work. And the last one belief number 285 00:22:18.559 --> 00:22:23.160 five is you were never broken. You were never broken. 286 00:22:24.160 --> 00:22:26.319 One of the books that I wrote was no One 287 00:22:26.359 --> 00:22:28.559 is coming to save You. And that's because you never 288 00:22:28.599 --> 00:22:31.200 needed to be saved. The only thing that ever needed 289 00:22:31.200 --> 00:22:33.880 to be fixed about any of us is the thought 290 00:22:33.920 --> 00:22:36.920 that we needed fixed in the first place. So no 291 00:22:36.960 --> 00:22:39.119 one is coming to save you, because no one ever 292 00:22:39.519 --> 00:22:43.759 needed to you were never broken. I like to say 293 00:22:43.759 --> 00:22:49.279 that rather, rather we were brilliantly adapted. Okay, And the 294 00:22:49.319 --> 00:22:52.079 work of a human life is not to fix yourself. 295 00:22:52.839 --> 00:22:56.160 It is to stop performing the self that you built 296 00:22:56.279 --> 00:22:59.400 to be chosen, that you built to be liked, that 297 00:22:59.480 --> 00:23:01.720 you built to be loved, that you built so that 298 00:23:01.720 --> 00:23:06.039 you wouldn't be abandoned, that you built for everybody else's benefit. 299 00:23:11.680 --> 00:23:14.559 And rather, come home, come home to the one that 300 00:23:14.640 --> 00:23:19.400 has been here the whole time. Because here's what I 301 00:23:19.440 --> 00:23:22.759 have come to know. Almost everything I used to call 302 00:23:22.799 --> 00:23:26.160 my flaws was not a flaw. It was an adaptation. 303 00:23:27.119 --> 00:23:34.359 It was the brilliant, creative, often heart breaking response of 304 00:23:34.359 --> 00:23:39.359 of me, a young child trying to stay safe in 305 00:23:39.359 --> 00:23:41.839 a world that did not always feel safe. It was 306 00:23:41.880 --> 00:23:44.559 a part of me that learned to read the room 307 00:23:46.359 --> 00:23:49.319 right before I could read words, The part of me 308 00:23:49.440 --> 00:23:53.599 that learned to over deliver before anyone asked. The part 309 00:23:53.640 --> 00:23:56.839 of me that learned to make myself really, really small 310 00:23:59.160 --> 00:24:04.000 or really big, depending on who needed me to be what. 311 00:24:04.920 --> 00:24:06.759 It was the part of me that made myself be 312 00:24:06.920 --> 00:24:13.319 very useful, make myself entertaining right, make myself be accommodating, 313 00:24:16.759 --> 00:24:21.440 depending on whatever the room needed, that part of me 314 00:24:21.559 --> 00:24:24.960 was not broken, That part of me kept me alive. 315 00:24:26.400 --> 00:24:28.119 And I do not believe the work of a human 316 00:24:28.119 --> 00:24:30.759 life is to fix that part. I believe the work 317 00:24:31.079 --> 00:24:35.440 is to thank it, to say thank you, thank you, Leah, 318 00:24:35.880 --> 00:24:39.119 thank you for getting me here. You did the impossible, 319 00:24:40.640 --> 00:24:43.960 you got me here. Let me take it, let me 320 00:24:44.000 --> 00:24:50.599 take it right. And then slowly the work then becomes 321 00:24:51.079 --> 00:24:54.039 to stop reaching for that adaptation when you do not 322 00:24:54.160 --> 00:24:57.319 need it anymore, just out performing this self that you 323 00:24:57.400 --> 00:25:00.240 built to be chosen, that you built for your bother 324 00:25:00.359 --> 00:25:04.519 to come back to validate your existence, and rather to 325 00:25:04.559 --> 00:25:07.960 come home to this beautiful self that has been here 326 00:25:08.000 --> 00:25:14.160 the whole time, waiting very patiently right for you to 327 00:25:14.359 --> 00:25:18.400 acknowledge it. Right. That is, that is the whole work, 328 00:25:18.440 --> 00:25:24.240 That is the entire arc of a real life, right, 329 00:25:24.960 --> 00:25:30.759 just returning, just returning without fixing. So those are the five. 330 00:25:31.079 --> 00:25:34.000 That is the manifesto. I would love, I would love, 331 00:25:34.519 --> 00:25:38.640 I would love to know yours right to recap, and 332 00:25:38.640 --> 00:25:43.000 then I'll give you the questions to recap worth not earned. Okay, 333 00:25:43.359 --> 00:25:48.279 your body, there's a tell trust it. There is a 334 00:25:48.359 --> 00:25:53.759 self that exists before the performance. Find her, find him, 335 00:25:55.359 --> 00:26:00.519 get to know them, get to know them. The work 336 00:26:01.119 --> 00:26:08.799 happens on a Tuesday, and you're never broken. Ever, you 337 00:26:09.160 --> 00:26:14.440 have brilliantly adapted, and that adaptation is no longer required, 338 00:26:15.640 --> 00:26:20.319 Thank it and let it go right. So those are 339 00:26:20.319 --> 00:26:22.920 the five beliefs. These are the three questions that I 340 00:26:22.920 --> 00:26:25.720 imagine when I was thinking about this outline, and as 341 00:26:25.720 --> 00:26:27.759 I was thinking about what these questions could be, I 342 00:26:27.759 --> 00:26:31.039 imagined you hitting pause in writing them down or listening 343 00:26:31.039 --> 00:26:33.079 to the whole thing, and then at the end writing 344 00:26:33.079 --> 00:26:36.799 them down. Either way. I think if you allow yourself 345 00:26:37.079 --> 00:26:39.920 to answer these questions, either at the start or the 346 00:26:40.079 --> 00:26:44.480 end as you book end your day, your way will 347 00:26:44.640 --> 00:26:50.119 help you step into the capacity of you in the 348 00:26:50.240 --> 00:26:52.880 very best way that you possibly can. So the first question, 349 00:26:52.960 --> 00:26:54.759 and I alluded to it at the very beginning, is 350 00:26:54.759 --> 00:26:59.920 what does the already worthy self do today? Right? How? Right? Right? 351 00:27:00.640 --> 00:27:05.160 What does that already worthy self do today? Not how 352 00:27:05.200 --> 00:27:07.279 do I become worthy? Not how do I prove it? 353 00:27:07.839 --> 00:27:10.680 But what does the version of me, the one who's 354 00:27:10.720 --> 00:27:13.960 worth is not in question, actually do today? What does 355 00:27:13.960 --> 00:27:16.960 that self say yes to? What does that self say 356 00:27:17.039 --> 00:27:20.079 no to? What does that self spend the morning, on 357 00:27:20.559 --> 00:27:25.440 the afternoon on the evening on right the question and 358 00:27:25.519 --> 00:27:30.000 sets the lens for the entire day. Okay, number two, 359 00:27:30.359 --> 00:27:33.079 what is my body trying to tell me? You will 360 00:27:33.880 --> 00:27:37.799 know when to ask it. There will be a meeting 361 00:27:37.839 --> 00:27:40.599 where your jaw is tight, or a conversation where you 362 00:27:40.720 --> 00:27:44.200 kind of said yes, right and you felt a tightness 363 00:27:44.200 --> 00:27:47.680 that you couldn't name, or a decision that you're about 364 00:27:48.039 --> 00:27:51.559 to make, but something in you is shouting. That is 365 00:27:51.680 --> 00:27:55.960 the moment. Right, stop and ask the question. Right, you 366 00:27:56.000 --> 00:28:00.640 don't again, You don't need to understand the morphage nature 367 00:28:00.640 --> 00:28:04.559 of the metaphysical science. You just need to pay attention. 368 00:28:05.680 --> 00:28:08.839 Just pay attention. That is That is enough. And the 369 00:28:08.920 --> 00:28:13.480 third question is what is one minute that I will 370 00:28:13.519 --> 00:28:17.400 not narrate, that I will not narrate for myself, that 371 00:28:17.480 --> 00:28:22.160 I won't experience in order to share it, Experience it 372 00:28:22.279 --> 00:28:25.039 in order to create a word of the day from 373 00:28:25.440 --> 00:28:30.839 experience it in a way that I can create a podcast. 374 00:28:31.400 --> 00:28:38.119 Right in your way, can you experience yourself without narrating 375 00:28:38.160 --> 00:28:42.720 it and just be one minute stand at a window, 376 00:28:42.799 --> 00:28:46.400 walk down a street, drink a cup of coffee without 377 00:28:46.559 --> 00:28:52.319 noticing how hot it is or the smell of it. Right, 378 00:28:53.799 --> 00:28:56.039 do not make it mean anything, do not post it, 379 00:28:56.079 --> 00:28:59.519 do not journal it. Just a minute in your own presence, 380 00:29:00.119 --> 00:29:04.720 without measurement, without performance. That is the whole practice. Three 381 00:29:04.799 --> 00:29:11.640 questions right a morning lens in the morning that offers 382 00:29:11.759 --> 00:29:16.359 up to me, what does be already worthy of my 383 00:29:16.720 --> 00:29:20.920 what does the already worthy self do today? The midday check? 384 00:29:20.920 --> 00:29:23.680 And what is my body telling me? And the one 385 00:29:24.279 --> 00:29:31.039 minute where you can just sit and that belongs to you, 386 00:29:31.880 --> 00:29:36.720 nothing else to you. So that is the close of 387 00:29:36.880 --> 00:29:41.839 this May series, right five episodes. My hope is one 388 00:29:41.920 --> 00:29:46.839 full arc and I hope what I hope is you 389 00:29:46.920 --> 00:29:50.200 carry from it, not not just a memory of how 390 00:29:50.880 --> 00:29:55.960 these conversations sounded, but I hope what you carry is 391 00:29:56.000 --> 00:30:03.759 a very quiet, durable practice that you can take with 392 00:30:03.839 --> 00:30:10.920 you as we move into next month's topic, which is 393 00:30:10.960 --> 00:30:15.079 going to be around relationships. So I hope that you'll 394 00:30:15.160 --> 00:30:19.680 join me next month. This has been a fun series. 395 00:30:20.000 --> 00:30:23.480 I've heard from so many of you in this series, 396 00:30:23.599 --> 00:30:27.599 and I and I always love it when you reach out, 397 00:30:27.599 --> 00:30:32.039 when you share things that you've learned, things that you're 398 00:30:32.039 --> 00:30:35.720 not just learning, but you're actually applying into your life, 399 00:30:35.720 --> 00:30:39.640 into the experiences of the way that you show up 400 00:30:39.680 --> 00:30:43.039 in the world, So have a beautiful one, my friends, 401 00:30:43.279 --> 00:30:47.440