WEBVTT

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<v Speaker 1>He'll f X Games Final four. Before you ask the

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<v Speaker 1>next question, did you know that Mexican food comes from Mexico.

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<v Speaker 2>I know that because of Tito Santana.

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<v Speaker 1>I know that because I can walk out my front door,

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<v Speaker 1>walk ten feet and there's a taco vendor right there

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<v Speaker 1>serving homemade tacos with homemade tortillas.

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<v Speaker 2>Not the stuff they have here in America. I mean

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<v Speaker 2>that stuff, for the most part, is complete shit.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not talking about Taco bell I'm talking about real

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<v Speaker 1>Mexican tacos. I'll tell you what I think. It's very

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<v Speaker 1>appropriate if you do think that Mexico is a third

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<v Speaker 1>world country, because I'm a third party candidate and I

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<v Speaker 1>represent the third worlds. While we were shooting Predator, Arnold

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<v Speaker 1>got me into stogies, my habit. I enjoyed it this day.

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<v Speaker 1>It's very relaxing after a long day to put your

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<v Speaker 1>feet up and disappear into a sweet smelling cloud of smoke.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm sure he does quite a bit of that.

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<v Speaker 2>These days.

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<v Speaker 1>I like to roll myself a fanny.

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<v Speaker 2>I'll go into a local bodega and older blunt papers.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't give a fuck.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't even speak Spanish, and they say I have

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<v Speaker 1>to do it with my hands and say give me

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<v Speaker 1>a fucking blunt, motherfucker.

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<v Speaker 2>There was one day and seventy eight that you freed

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<v Speaker 2>your pants and and a beautiful soul came into this world,

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<v Speaker 2>your firstborn, and I wish you could.

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<v Speaker 1>Call it was Jade? Or was that tie round.

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<v Speaker 3>You?

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<v Speaker 2>You tell me, Jess, I can't be sure?

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<v Speaker 1>Are your fire? O?

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<v Speaker 2>Uh oh what do you mean?

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<v Speaker 1>I went back? I actually I actually had a few

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<v Speaker 1>dreams down there. So you went back to Vietnam?

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<v Speaker 2>Uh huh oh?

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<v Speaker 1>Old things came out? I went back. I went back.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, why don't you say you went? You know

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<v Speaker 1>you had a flashback?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh?

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<v Speaker 1>I went back. I went.

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<v Speaker 2>It's almost like I went back in a flash.

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<v Speaker 1>I went back to my room.

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<v Speaker 4>Are saying you had a flashback?

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<v Speaker 1>Son?

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<v Speaker 4>Can I help you with that? Turn a phrase? What

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<v Speaker 4>the hell? The podcast on Speak Speak Straight? The hell is.

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<v Speaker 1>Got your damn hair? Anyway, I went back. Steve, Hey,

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<v Speaker 1>did you see how scared mean Jean was. He knew

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<v Speaker 1>how good an announcer I was, and he was scared

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<v Speaker 1>that his job might be in jeopardy.

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<v Speaker 2>He knew I was gonna call him on his bias.

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<v Speaker 1>I said, fuck you, Jean Huh, a little bitch.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, cou'd you say to him? I said, fuck you

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<v Speaker 2>Jeane Huh, your little bitch nice?

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<v Speaker 1>You know what'd you do if I kitch you in

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<v Speaker 1>the balls? Right now? Little man? You know, when I

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<v Speaker 1>interviewed him at the Rainbow Grill, he was shaking his boots.

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<v Speaker 1>The greatest talker in the world of wrestling. That's how

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<v Speaker 1>I got involved in commentating the WWE knew the way

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<v Speaker 1>to get ratings up was to get the greatest voice

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<v Speaker 1>in the sport on the air. You know, I may

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<v Speaker 1>not be the world champion Hulk Hogan is, although that's

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<v Speaker 1>only a matter of time.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh geez, there we go.

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<v Speaker 1>But there's no doubt I do the best commentary work

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<v Speaker 1>in wrestling. Chump Hogan. Now, Chump Hogan. You know, bitch.

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<v Speaker 2>Jess, we just needed to say chump from gott now on.

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<v Speaker 2>We're never gonna keep it any you know. But here's

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<v Speaker 2>the thing, Hulk Hogan's a bitch. I just heard Randy

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<v Speaker 2>Savage say fuck six times on a promo.

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<v Speaker 1>You why are you persecuting me when you got fucking

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<v Speaker 1>Randy Savage out there saying fuck all the time?

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<v Speaker 2>And speaking of which, what kind of royalties am I

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<v Speaker 2>making on these tapes now that I'm on an asare Huh.

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<v Speaker 1>Here's the thing? Yeah, what am I making for? You know?

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<v Speaker 1>What am I getting on the back end? Right right?

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<v Speaker 1>You know I should be getting you know, as talent,

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<v Speaker 1>we should all be getting points.

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<v Speaker 2>Get getting it?

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<v Speaker 1>Where in the back end?

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<v Speaker 2>What's up? Boss?

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<v Speaker 1>Why is it not okay for me to form my

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<v Speaker 1>own militia and go attack people overseas?

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<v Speaker 4>Well?

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<v Speaker 2>Jes we can start with the UN, But.

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<v Speaker 1>The UN is a man made organization.

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<v Speaker 2>As our own organizations, that's right, including the nature.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, we're talking about the law of man or the

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<v Speaker 1>law of nature.

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<v Speaker 2>I think I was in the middle of making this

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<v Speaker 2>convoluted point about, you know, targeting like Syrians, civilians in Syria,

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<v Speaker 2>and then you said, why can't I fool my own

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<v Speaker 2>militia and go attack other countries?

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<v Speaker 5>Whoa, whoa, whoa? Hold the phone? What just where's your

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<v Speaker 5>head at? I've got a fucking led screen for every

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<v Speaker 5>wall to my house one hundred inches off the grid,

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<v Speaker 5>all right, off the grid. I live in a video box.

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, hey, you know what, I'm off the grid, but

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<v Speaker 1>I make sure I know what's going on on the grid.

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<v Speaker 1>I could be anywhere at any time. Nobody knows.

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<v Speaker 2>Just follow the trailer, pork Shota.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, they don't want me in the debates.

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<v Speaker 2>Said Ventura, stroking his chin thoughtfully.

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<v Speaker 1>Now I can have so many people voting for me.

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<v Speaker 1>Right now, I'm gonna tell you right now, I could

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<v Speaker 1>easily win the president in chief. I wanted it easy.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't even need the debates. I'd win.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh.

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<v Speaker 2>I thought the whole reason you lost was because you

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<v Speaker 2>weren't in the debates. Okay, well this is a different story.

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<v Speaker 2>You're saying.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I just don't want to be in it. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't want to be president. I mean, who wants that job.

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<v Speaker 1>I was governor of Minnesota for four years. There was

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<v Speaker 1>a miserable experience. Why would I want to be president

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<v Speaker 1>that I could be if I wanted to, you couldn't

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<v Speaker 1>stop me, and I could be president off the grid.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, Chico Santana was nothing but an overrated taco salesman.

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<v Speaker 2>No, he doesn't. There's no way it says that.

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<v Speaker 1>It says that.

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<v Speaker 2>It says that, it says it does not say that

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<v Speaker 2>it says it.

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<v Speaker 6>I'm pulling it up now. Is it number three, number

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<v Speaker 6>four on the right hand column. Second telling me Chico

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<v Speaker 6>Santana is nothing but an over Chico Santana.

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<v Speaker 1>There's nothing more than but an overrated taco salesman. In fact,

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<v Speaker 1>you know what, I hired him to work outside the

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<v Speaker 1>street of my of my U where I live right

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<v Speaker 1>on the beach, serves me tacos every morning, breakfast, tacos, lunch, tacos, dinner, tacos,

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<v Speaker 1>Tacos in between.

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<v Speaker 2>Tacos in between My Life off the Grid.

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<v Speaker 1>It's my eighteenth conspiracy book, Tacos in Between My Life

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<v Speaker 1>Off the Grid.

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<v Speaker 2>I was in the delivery room with Terry the whole time.

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<v Speaker 1>I faced even in between her legs. I saw him

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<v Speaker 1>as he came out of her vagina. He smiled at

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<v Speaker 1>dad act.

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<v Speaker 2>I was in the delivery room with Terry all night

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<v Speaker 2>because he just couldn't be convinced. I wasn't about the

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<v Speaker 2>double classing.

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<v Speaker 1>I said, Terry, I'm not even the father. I'm not

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<v Speaker 1>even the father of the child. It's your child, damn it.

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<v Speaker 2>I'll get that mimber of commercial.

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<v Speaker 1>Why do middle like, dude, Why brother, I need to

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<v Speaker 1>see you at all times?

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<v Speaker 2>But Terry, but Terry pipe my wife is about.

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<v Speaker 1>To give birth. Terrry, I've got a duel. I've got

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<v Speaker 1>to do a promotional campaign for abraxis.

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<v Speaker 2>Jerry, my wife is about to give birth towards the sun?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, brother, what's his name going to be doing.

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<v Speaker 4>Time?

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<v Speaker 2>It's so disappointing that he calls him tie. You know

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<v Speaker 2>how many times that leans he didn't say Tyrell, that

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<v Speaker 2>he could have.

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<v Speaker 1>Tyrell. What the fuck are you doing over there? Oh

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<v Speaker 1>my god, I'm the governor of Minnesota. You can't do

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<v Speaker 1>shit like that. You know. I'm watching Kroud Creamer and

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<v Speaker 1>all of his crick and all this stupid fucking crooked

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<v Speaker 1>politician friends, those good old boys trying to run me

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<v Speaker 1>out of town. And you know what, I'm going to

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<v Speaker 1>reform this damn fucking community. I'm going to reform Brooklyn Park.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to become a third party candidate.

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<v Speaker 4>Yes, a reform party.

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<v Speaker 1>Candid in third party. I'm sitting here talking about the

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<v Speaker 1>Brooklyn Park City Council and James Krout Creamer and all

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<v Speaker 1>of those stupid fucking cunts there on the town exactly.

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<v Speaker 2>And that's it, sight unseen, never to be said again.

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<v Speaker 1>Those mother fucking cunts the city council.

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<v Speaker 2>Hunt Creamer, take down, take that one can sit on

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<v Speaker 2>that one while.

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, hey, James, James, what's it? What's it like being

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<v Speaker 1>up there? James? Cun creamer? Like being mayor of Brooklyn Park.

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<v Speaker 1>Cunt Creamer, what that is? You're a piece of ship,

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<v Speaker 1>all right. I'm watching you from over here and all

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<v Speaker 1>of you. I'm I'm campaigning against you and all of

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<v Speaker 1>your cunt friends.

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<v Speaker 2>Incidentally, cunt Creamer. Also incidentally, Lee Marshall nickname with Jesse

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<v Speaker 2>Evan Toura film spelled f e e U l M feeling.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. I exploited that leverage for years.

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<v Speaker 2>Jesse, can you please stop calling a WWS match?

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<v Speaker 1>There were no One time I threatened to break Arnold's arm.

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<v Speaker 1>I said, you can't do it right. Exactly, I can

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<v Speaker 1>do it because I'm the body. Do you know what

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<v Speaker 1>he did? When he was in town for the inauguration.

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<v Speaker 1>He went down to his restaurant playing in Hollywood in

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<v Speaker 1>the Mall of America, and he met with his staff

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<v Speaker 1>of chefs and came up with a new menu item,

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<v Speaker 1>the Jesse the Mind Melt sandwich. It's delicious, A big

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<v Speaker 1>sleigh ab of cheese covered beef with a bit of

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<v Speaker 1>a spark to it.

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<v Speaker 2>Describe the dish again, please.

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<v Speaker 1>Ahead, A big slab of change.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm always so appetizing.

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<v Speaker 1>A big slab of cheese covered beef with a bit

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<v Speaker 1>of a spark to it. Now, before I brought in Barry,

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<v Speaker 1>the standard was that if a wrestler wanted to have

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<v Speaker 1>an agent, he'd get fired. But my popularity gave me leverage. Leverage, leverage, yeah, leverage,

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<v Speaker 1>not going here, leverage.

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<v Speaker 3>Lege, leverage. My popularity gave me leverage.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know if it's too much work. We can

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<v Speaker 2>in that voice? Can you do the thing where he

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<v Speaker 2>was talking about how in the hole that was already?

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<v Speaker 2>That was a clip of him here.

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<v Speaker 3>You I heard I shined before I came back to

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<v Speaker 3>work with Rench. I shined for the warning man. I

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<v Speaker 3>heard my ash.

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<v Speaker 4>Somehow.

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<v Speaker 2>Now it sounds like someone's gonna end up bed.

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<v Speaker 1>I had my dagger in. Somebody's bad got it?

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<v Speaker 3>Men?

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<v Speaker 1>Show your navy, you how you should be a show? Oh?

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<v Speaker 1>I sure have been Vietnam. Vietnam?

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<v Speaker 2>Has our government told us the truth about that war?

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<v Speaker 4>Jess?

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<v Speaker 1>Our government never. Our government never tells me the truth.

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<v Speaker 2>Just you. That's a new one. I never said the

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<v Speaker 2>government doesn't tell the truth. I said it never tells

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<v Speaker 2>me that. I said, they never tell me the truth.

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<v Speaker 1>Is a production entertainment group.

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<v Speaker 6>Its content is intended for private use only.