Speaker 1: Hey, besties, Welcome back to this Wednesday's episode of your
Manifesting Bestie podcast. I'm your host, Flora, and we are
diving into all things mindset and manifestation like we always do.
You guys know the drill. I really want to address
our beautiful community today and get a few things across
that I feel like will put your mind at ease,
put your heart at ease, your energy at ease. A
lot of us are reaching for perfectionism, and I really
want to take a moment to just tell you to
please offer yourself some more grace and some more patience
and some more kindness on this journey. This work is
probably the most difficult work. It's simple, but it's difficult
to accomplish for the simple fact that you are essentially
killing off an old identity and being reborn in the mind.
That is not an easy task. It's not an easy
task to just switch into an individual you've never even
met before. Right, So this feeling of wanting to be
perfect and wanting to feel good twenty four to seven
isn't necessarily realistic, and that shouldn't even be the goal here.
So I want to help you guys understand a few
things here to really just chill out and take it
easier on yourself and feel better about yourself, because I
noticed that perfectionism almost leads to procrastination in so many things,
like if something isn't perfect, you're just not going to
do it. You're not even going to start, you're not
even going to go near it, you're not going to
feel good about it, You're not gonna feel good about yourself,
and you might even end up in self victimization because
you are a perfectionist. I want to kind of rid
your mind of the necessity of needing to be perfect
or if the belief that perfectionism is what gives you
the results, and it's not. It's not perfectionism, it never
has been, and that shouldn't even be the goal. Okay,
it's just small incremental changes of feeling better. Even if
it's at the slightest of feeling better, you're already on
the right track. You're already going to see movement, and
anything that happens in the emotional state that improves it
is a positive. It's a win. It's something to celebrate,
it something to recognize and feel really good about because
wanting to be perfect, unfortunately is what stops a lot
of us from even seeing any type of progress because
we get angry. We're like the parent who is like, oh,
you brought home a B plus on your math test
and then they ground you, and you're like, I thought
a B plus was pretty good because I've been struggling
in this class, and then the parent gets mad at
you that you didn't get an A plus. Right, you
don't want to be that parent to yourself. You don't
want to be the parent that harps down on your
positive effort and your positive changes just because it's not
the picture perfect thing that you thought you needed to
achieve your goal. Okay, And I love the fact that
I get to work with so many different type of
individuals within our membership than our programs because I get
to hear all the different insights that you guys are carrying,
the different beliefs you guys are carrying, and I get
to relay different coaching messages based upon what you're experiencing.
So I had a client she's been in the program,
I want to say, maybe for three or four months,
and she was telling me, Hey, it's my fourth month
in the program, and lately I haven't been feeling good.
I was doing good. I was feeling good. I was
seeing my movement, I was seeing my success. But for
the last couple of weeks, I'm not feeling amazing. I'm
not feeling excited. I'm not feeling on fire. I'm not
feeling good. What am I doing wrong? What's wrong with me?
Am I doing this right? What's the problem? Why isn't
this working for me? This isn't good right? Like she
just went on a kind of like a spiral of
the opposite direction simply because a couple of weeks didn't
feel amazing for her, they didn't feel great. I want
to remind you that you're a human being. You're a
human being with a vast range of emotions, a vast
range of experiences, of circumstances of contrast that the universe
is constantly throwing at you so you can keep growing.
There is no way to feel amazing every day. There
is no way to be positive in every single moment.
There is no way to never have another problem again,
because that is not how the universe is set up.
It is set up through the act of experiencing contrast.
Contrast meaning one side is good, one side is bad,
and in between, is you expanding to reach a new height,
a new desire, a new limit. Right, So, there is
no way of always being so joyful, And that's okay,
because how can we even appreciate the peaks of our
life if there isn't something to kind of compare it to,
if there isn't some type of a contrast to compare
it to something maybe that was negative, or sometimes when
you're feeling lower, maybe even a little bit sad and depressed,
there's always going to be a contrast of experiences, kind
of like what we spoke about in the season's change episode.
Your life is happening in seasons, so please be patient
and offer yourself grace. Like I want to drill this
into you. It's okay. It's okay to chill out. It's
okay to not be perfect. It's okay that everything is
not going as planned in this moment. It's okay. Like
kind of sit back and be like, I'm okay, I'm alive,
I'm breathing, everything is fine, everything is still working out.
Even if I had a bad day, even if I
was crying on the fucking bathroom floor yesterday, It's okay.
I'm a human being. I need to have space to
hold these emotions. I need to give myself space to
express these emotions. I need to give myself space to
feel things as they come and not beat myself up
even more and be that overbearing parent who's mad about
a B plus instead of an A plus. Right. I
can't be like that to myself and expect more progress
and more change, because the whole process of this manifestation,
self concept, identity transformation journey is the fact that the
destination that you're trying to get to is actually the
journey itself. Okay, it's actually the person that you're becoming
along the way. It's not the end post goal. Okay.
So let's say like that end goal is like ooh marriage,
or ooh a ten thousand dollars a month business, or
ooh I lost twenty pounds okay, because let me tell
you something, when you get to that goal in twenty
four hours, you're over it. You're literally over it. You're like,
what's next. The goal post just keeps moving, It goes
higher and higher and higher. This is why I say
there's no way to be perfect. There's no end goal.
You just keep evolving, You just keep wanting more, You
keep growing more, you keep explaining more. So how can
you expect perfection in all of that? You can't. You
got to take it easy and be like, this entire
journey was my actual destination. It's the person I become
along the way. Okay, so it's not the dollar amount,
it's the person you become when you achieve said dollar amount.
So what type of person is that. It's not the
certain weight loss goal that you might be looking at
on the scale. It's the person you become along the
way of reaching that goal. The person who put in dedication,
the person who loves their body, the person who is
obsessed with, you know, improving their health and feeling better
and balancing their hormones. It's a person who has a
positive outlook on life. It's the person who now knows
how to nurture themselves instead of scolding themselves for doing
something wrong. It's not the marriage. It's actually the act
of unconditional love for yourself, for your partner, for growing together,
for learning about each other, for expanding yourself even more,
for uncovering things about yourself that you never even knew
were there. Okay, so these are all growing opportunities and
it's the individual you become in this process. That's the
actual destination. That's your goal. It's the person you're becoming,
and the person you're becoming cannot have an end. That
person you're becoming is constantly evolving, constantly moving, constantly expanding,
constant falling down, up, being pulled back so that they
can be catapulted forward even more like a slang shot. Right.
So the actual goal here is your evolution, it's your growth,
it's your journey. The journey is the destination. We feel
like that the destination itself is the desire, because that's
what we've been let to believe. It's the dollar amount,
it's a successful business. It's the you know, the recognition,
it's the love or getting that person to fall in
love with me, or being complimented on my appearance or
whatever it is. But when you receive that really good
feeling desire, the next day, you're over it. You're over it, okay.
And I experienced this too, my client's experience that they're like, oh,
I hit the ten K month. I don't want that anymore.
I want the twenty K month. I don't want that anymore.
I want the fifty K month. I'm so bored of
the fifty k month. I want the hundred k month.
So this is what I'm saying. Your desires never stop evolving,
and you don't either, so you might as well kick
your fucking feed up and enjoy the ride. Enjoy the journey,
Enjoy everything you're experiencing coming your way. It's the unfolding
that you really crave. It's the highs and the lows
that you actually crave. It's the overcoming the obstacles that
you really crave so that you feel good about yourself.
Sometimes we think we want everything handed to us, which
would be nice, but the accomplishment we sometimes feel of like, Oh,
I overcame X, Y and Z, and I turn into
this really incredible person, and now I can handle more.
Now I can handle more blessings, Now I can handle
more love. Now I can handle better experiences in my
life because I've evolved as an individual, I have matured,
I have expanded, I have grown, I've become new, I
have resurrected myself in the mind, and I'm so fucking
proud of myself. I feel so accomplished because I look
back at this really long journey and it was the evolution.
I was craving. It was the becoming of who I
am now that I was craving because once I reached goal,
I was over it. I was literally over it. And
then now what, Okay, you got that one goal? Now
what you think life is over and now you're just
happy forever. It just doesn't work like that. We are
always craving more. It's the way that we're set up.
Contentment is very temporary, and desires are ever evolving and
ever growing. And this is a good thing because the
universe is designed for expansion, so we have to be
the ones expanding it because God is just experiencing itself
through your expansion. So it's like a game, right. The
more I want, the more I grow, the more I overcome,
the more I grow. Once I get the thing that
I want, I've become a better person. And now I
just want more. Now I want bigger. Now I want
more expansion. Now I want better. Now I want even
more high value friendships, better relationships, a nicer house and
even faster car, new countries to travel to, new books,
to read, more knowledge, more expansion. In my brain, I
just want more. I want more, I want more. We
have an internal feeling of I'm not say siated with
this experience just yet. There's always something a little bit better,
and that's how it's supposed to be. Doesn't make you selfish.
It's the way that the universe is designed and set
up to expand through you. It's God living through you
through your expansion. Okay, so now knowing this, can you
please chill out on yourself? Can you please be nicer
to yourself? Can you please speak kinder to yourself? Can
you please have a little more grace and patience through
the obstacles that you're battling. Can you please stop questioning yourself?
Can you please stop doubting yourself and having this like
self loathing attitude or having self hatred that you have
not accomplished what Susie down the fucking street has accomplished.
Who cares? This is your unfolding, This is your journey.
Why are we comparing and experiencing? You know, comparison is
a thief of joy. We need to look at how
far have I come? What have I overcome? What are
the blessings I can count on my hands right now?
What are the amazing characteristics and qualities that I've picked
up on my journey that I can feel good about that,
I can celebrate that, I can be proud of that,
I can scream from the fucking mountain tops of Oh
my god, guys, I did it. I overcame my battle.
I'm not anxious anymore. That's a huge battle. I'm not
depressed today. That's a huge battle. I overcame. I make
more money this month that I did six months ago.
That's a huge battle that I overcame. I can pay
my bills early. That's a huge battle that I've overcome.
I lost fifteen pounds. That's a huge battle that I
had to overcome in my mind and in the physical body.
Can I please just be proud of myself for that?
Can I please just congratulate myself and give myself a
pat on the bag for that instead of being like
what else am I doing wrong? And what else is
the problem? And why are things not moving as fast
as I need them to? Right? So let's let go
of like the entitlement of how things are supposed to
be unfolding and appreciate the unfolding in itself and really
appreciate self on this journey. You you should be who
you admire and you should be the one that you're congratulating,
and you should be so proud of yourself for even
being interested in this information and trying to apply it
in your life. But what you don't need to be doing,
and what doesn't help you, and what actually hinders your
growth is beating yourself up, is talking down on yourself,
It's questioning yourself. Self doubt is the real devil in
your life. Self doubt robs you of your growth, of
your self appreciation, of your self worth. It's the constant
self doubt. What else am I doing wrong? Why am
I still not good enough? Why am I still so unworthy?
Why am I not moving at the pace he or
she is moving at? Why have I still not been chosen?
So when you keep counting on all the things that
you believe are wrong and all the things that you
believe you're missing out on, still you're missing the blessing
in the season you're in. You're missing the opportunity you
have to celebrate what you've already overcome. You're missing your
own growth, which was the point. It's the person you're
becoming on this unfolding experience and on this journey. Okay,
this is really about you versus you, You seeing your
self worth, you appreciating how far you have come. That's
when things get easier. Things just get harder. Every time
you stop and question it, things get harder. Every time
you stop and start doubting, things get harder. Every time
you're like, I'm just I'm not doing it fast enough.
You're making your problems so much more significant than all
that you've overcome, and you're making your journey so much
less enjoyable by pointing out every little flaw you think
you still have. Why? Why? What is the purpose? Enjoy it?
Like you're literally living through kind of like a video
game right now. Okay, think of like SIMS, or think
of any other video game where there's a controller in
someone's hand and you're just like playing out this holographic image.
That's what you're doing in your life. And if life
is a game, if life is just like this fun
obstacle course of me just growing and growing more and
getting more and receiving more and having more opportunity and
more blessings, why not just spend a little more time
getting excited about it and spending a little less time
worrying about what else am I doing wrong? And why
am I not perfect yet? Because bestie, you're missing out.
You're missing out on all the freedom, of all the
joy of all your growth, and all the pats on
the back you should be giving yourself. And the more
that you value yourself and show yourself that love and
that self appreciation, the more that you celebrate yourself, the
world does too. That's why this is so important to
not to take it easier on yourself. Okay, even if
you just woke up out of bed today and you
made your fuck in bed, give yourself a pat on
the back, because some people who are battling depression haven't
even gone out of bed today, they haven't even been
able to brush their teeth today. But you did a
whole obstacle course. Okay, you went to work, you drove
through traffic, you cooked yourself some food, you took care
of the kids, and you did it with a smile
on your face. Is that not something to be proud of?
Is that not something like, damn, I just accomplished a
lot today, You know, because you did. You did just
getting out of bed, when we have so many difficult
things throwing at us is an accomplishment. So start celebrating yourself. More,
think of everything as like a party. What can I
appreciate today? What can I appreciate in this moment? What
can I value about myself in this moment? What can
I appreciate and obsess over within myself in this moment?
What am I really good at in this moment? What
feels really good to follow in this moment? What thought
feels better than the bad one in this moment? Let's
play a game of what What is it? What can
I place my focus on today that's a little bit
better than me feeling anxious about what I'm doing wrong.
Once we start playing this game, this holographic game, and
operating our reality like it's a video game, a video
game of fun, a video game of growth of expansion,
we take it easy on ourselves. We're not like, Okay,
there's some big man in the sky who's taking score
of like what I've accomplished, And there's a big man
in the sky who's like looking down on me and
ready to punish me if I do something wrong. And
there's this big man in the sky who has to
be in control of the outcomes in my life based
on if I was correct today, or did enough today,
or proved my self worth to someone else today. That's
not how it works. No one is taking score. No
one's taking score of you and how good you are.
The more that you can appreciate just you as is
right now, the easier it becomes. No one is taking
score of your progress. No one is comparing you to
other people. There's no one up there in the sky
determining your value, or your worth or your fate in life.
That's not how the reality works. It's a game. It's
a game. It's a one player game. Really, it's you
versu you. It's you in your own mind, it's you
battling your own thoughts. So if I realize now that
the actual journey is the destination and the person that
I'm becoming is the goal, then what can I appreciate
about who I have become on this journey. Let me
list out those things. I've become more patient, I've become
more confident. I've become stronger mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
I now know my power. I now love myself on
a like a much deeper level than ever before, and
I am now experiencing unconditional love for me. I'm now
no longer feeling anxious about things. I now live in
this knowing state. I now know who I truly am,
down to a cellular level. I know that God is
within me. How powerful is that I've now grown into
a much better person, A kinder person, a more tolerant person,
a person who doesn't argue with people anymore, who just
wants to live in their own bliss, A happier person.
I've become a more successful person in so many areas
of my life. I love myself for that. I've achieved
so many things on this journey. There's endless things to
appreciate and enjoy about yourself from how far you've come,
rather than beating up on yourself and pulling yourself back
down into a hole that you no longer belong in.
So if I can take a moment and look back
on my journey and be like, damn, I have overcome
so much shit that I used to spiral about, so
much shit that I used to fall into depression about
so many things that I used to argue and yell
at other people over. I'm not that person anymore. I'm
not her, I'm not him. I'm better, I'm improved. I've
expanded I've been resurrected in the mind. I'm a brand
new individual. I should be proud of that, because that
journey that I just took is the destination, that's the goal.
It's the person I'm becoming along the way, because I'm
going to become someone who is going to step into
any room and vibrate such fucking positive energy. Then I'm
gonna uplift the mood of everyone else around me. I'm
gonna be that good mood attitude that walks in and
every it just captures everyone's attention, uplifts everyone's day. That's
the person I'm becoming. And my positive attitude and my
optimism and my feeling happy just because is how I
get to change the world. It's how I get to
improve the lives of others. It's how I get to
become the change that I wish to experience in the world.
Rather than complaining about the world and complaining about other people,
I am becoming the change. Isn't that so much better?
Doesn't that feel so good? Doesn't that uplift you more
than always questioning yourself of what am I doing wrong? Still?
Why am I not good enough? Still? It's so much better?
It creates such a profound change in your mind and
your heart and your soul and your energy and your
whole fucking body. Okay, and then you have a ripple
effect out into the external world and incrementally. This is
actually how your identity starts to change, because you start
to learn self appreciation and you start to apply more
of these self love principles, and you get to pour
into yourself more and now you see the world through
the eyes of love, through the God frequency. This is
how you elevate on an energetic level. It's by choosing
where your mind goes, and choosing where your thoughts go,
and choosing what you appreciate and choosing what you put
your focus on. Because it's a choice to complain about
yourself and to compare yourself. It's a choice to constantly
doubt yourself. You just don't have to. You can choose
the other end of the fucking spectrum, and it feels
better and you grow more that way. Okay, it might
feel a little delusional, We always know that's not a
bad thing. Though. There's nothing wrong with living in your
imagination and appreciating yourself just because, and being happy just because,
and feeling high self worth just because you can, just
because you're alive, just because God gave you the gift
of life. You should feel good about that. You're like, Damn,
I'm the fucking chosen one. Okay, I'm the baddest bitch
in here. This is my life. I'm in control. I
appreciate what I've overcome. I've done really well for the
circumstances that have come my way. I've overcome a lot.
There's so much for me to be proud of. There's
so much for me to sell, lebreak. Oh my god,
life is so good. Life is so beautiful. Okay, this
is the attitude, not perfectionism. Perfectionism, I feel like, is
fucking harmful. And I realize that perfectionism is just like
a pretty word for procrastination. The more that I want
to be perfect at something and I stop myself from
doing it because I am not yet perfect. Maybe I
don't look perfect, maybe I don't sound as polished. Maybe
I don't have the right clothing. Maybe I'm not in
the right shape just yet. And I don't feel good
about myself yet. Maybe I don't have the online presence yet.
Who cares, right, You're the only one judging yourself on
those things. So don't really strive for perfectionism because it
hinders you. It becomes procrastination. You just keep stopping yourself,
and then you label it as well, I'm a perfectionist.
I'm a perfectionist. So I can't take action yet. I wasn't.
I don't think I'm there yet. No, no, no, you
are there. If the desire is on your heart, you're there.
You're there. You can start taking inspired action. But perfectionism,
I just think is something that was engraved in us
maybe as we were students, right, because we were always
tested on our ability to memorize concepts and then we
got tested and graded for it, and if we didn't
memorize the concepts properly, we were deemed as a bad student.
So a lot of people carry perfectionism. And that also
is like under the umbrella people pleasing and all these
other things that we want to shy away from now
and now that we're like grown adults and we're maturing
and we're learning about these things, right, I just want
you to know that you do not need to be perfect.
There's no requirement to be perfect. There's no requirement of anything. Actually,
the requirement is that you feel better. That's your requirement
to manifest better, to feel better, because like attracts like.
Your energy is exactly what you manifest out into the
physical world. The energy and the emotions you carry is
your quantum signature. So everything is a reflection of you.
You can only experience yourself moment by moment. Every experience
is an attachment to who you are and your belief system.
So there's no requirement to be perfect to have better things,
you just need to start feeling better. And perfectionism is
not how we feel better. I feel like it just
creates more self loathing and more procrastination, and that creates
more anxiety and more depression, which then that creates more
resentment and more fear, which that creates more frustration and
more letting yourself down. And this is just a cycle,
and it starts at wanting to be perfect. That's something
you don't need to be. I'm telling you right now.
No one's taking score of how good you are today
at manifesting. No one's taking score of how good you
are today at stating positive affirmations. No one's keeping score.
If you meditated for ten minutes, say no one. No
one's keeping score, so you don't got to beat up
on yourself about things and constantly question yourself about things,
and constantly question your own worth and stopping yourself from
believing that you are good enough because you weren't perfect today.
That's such bullshit. It's such a waste of your time.
It's such a waste of your energy. You don't need it.
You're good enough, you're worthy enough. You were born worthy,
you were born abundant, you were actually born blessed. Okay,
this knowledge is deeply engraved into you. That's why when
you hear it, it lights you up. This is what
your soul already knows to be true about yourself. It
feels good to know that you're in power. It feels
good to know that you're in control of your reality.
It does not feel good to believe that you're the victim,
because your soul knows otherwise. So there's like this, there's
this constant disharmony of what your soul knows to be true,
of who you are to your core as the operant power,
as the god force within you, and when you believe
you're a victim, and when you believe you're not good enough,
when you believe you're unworthy. There's this huge discord, So
you constantly feel bad about yourself because your soul, your
higher self, does not agree with you. It knows otherwise,
it knows better, it knows the truth, and if you
cannot agree with it, you're constantly going to be feeling bad.
So every time you're feeling low emotionally, like I wasn't
perfect today, something must be wrong. I had a really
bad week, I was sad or I cried today, and
then you beat yourself up over it. You're creating disharmony
with you and your higher self, who loves you as
you are, who knows your value as you are, who
knows your truth, that you are the creator and that
you hold all the power. So there's this disharmony in
your emotion, so you feel sad, you want to beat
up on yourself about it. That's the disconnect. And now
that we know this to be true, we can feel
better about feeling good just because we can feel better
within our own power. We can feel better with what
we create. We can feel better about having a bad
day or a bad week or a bad month because
we know our desires are not far gone and they're
not destroyed and they're not ruined, and to be perfect
for me to feel better today, to get the things
that I want, I just don't need to be perfect.
It's okay. I can take it easier on myself. I
can chill the fuck out. I can just go for
a swim, take a cold shower. If I'm too anxious,
I can go for a walk and relax my nervous system.
I can do a gratitude walk and appreciate the things
that are around me. I can listen to some uplifting music.
I can bake my favorite dessert if I wanted to,
and just choose to feel better instead of choosing to
harp down on myself like a fucking overbearing parent who
thinks that their kid is never good enough, who believes
that the kid's value is about their grades or something
like that. You're not being graded. No one is keeping score.
Maybe you are, but you should stop. Okay, you should
stop keeping score of your dudes and don'ts and rights
and wrongs and all these things. Focus on the emotions
you embody. Focus on what can I do today to
feel good? Is it beating up on myself? Probably not?
Is it going for a walk, or go dancing in
my room or calling on a good friend or going
out to eat. Probably, yeah, that sounds a lot better
than beating down on myself and getting anxious of what
am I doing wrong? So this is just you're manifesting,
bestie Pep talk today. I really want to get this
through to you guys, that there is no end goal
besides the journey, besides your unfolding, and the person that
you are becoming and the person that you are evolving
into is the goal. That is the destination, that is
the point of this entire process. It's who you are
becoming energetically, and to appreciate that more and to love
on that more and to value that a little bit
more than every little goal post that you've set for yourself,
because as soon as you get it, it changes. So
that wasn't the goal anyway, and it wasn't being perfect.
It was you evolving and growing and expanding. Okay, so
remember this next time you want to beat up on yourself,
that I can just chill out and I don't have
to do that, and no one's keeping score of me.
I don't have to keep score of myself anymore either.
I just got to keep score of how I feel
and finding things that make me happier today. Thank you
guys so much for tuning in to this week's episode
of your Manifesting Bestie podcast, and we will be back
again next Wednesday with a brand new episode