WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:02.879 So Erica. I've been trying to like emulate something you 2 00:00:02.919 --> 00:00:05.919 have taught me over the last few weeks because it's 3 00:00:05.960 --> 00:00:09.279 it's been a very hard time in the world, and 4 00:00:09.359 --> 00:00:12.919 I've been trying to cultivate my Blue sky feed to 5 00:00:13.000 --> 00:00:17.480 be just pet pictures and drag queens and like pictures 6 00:00:17.480 --> 00:00:19.120 of hot guys like that is that is what I'm 7 00:00:19.120 --> 00:00:21.760 trying to teach the algorithm I want to see. 8 00:00:22.079 --> 00:00:24.679 Yes, it works when you do it right, it works. 9 00:00:24.839 --> 00:00:26.960 It does work. But there is a pitfall that I 10 00:00:27.039 --> 00:00:31.800 was not aware of, which is that every day or 11 00:00:31.800 --> 00:00:35.200 so you stumble across a post about a pet that's 12 00:00:35.280 --> 00:00:38.280 like this buddy went to the Rainbow Bridge today. He 13 00:00:38.439 --> 00:00:40.600 was such a wonderful pet and I loved him so much. 14 00:00:40.600 --> 00:00:42.399 And it's the picture of like this cutest cat. 15 00:00:42.479 --> 00:00:45.799 Can I tell you a dog I follow on Instagram 16 00:00:45.880 --> 00:00:46.479 passed away? 17 00:00:46.640 --> 00:00:49.600 Oh god, and I just lost it. 18 00:00:50.280 --> 00:00:52.640 It happened like a couple of months ago. It was 19 00:00:52.679 --> 00:00:56.119 it's men'swear dog for those of you do ressed away. 20 00:00:56.679 --> 00:00:58.840 I'm so sorry, Paul, I'm so sorry. 21 00:00:59.439 --> 00:01:00.119 This is well. 22 00:01:00.280 --> 00:01:01.119 I did not know this. 23 00:01:01.560 --> 00:01:06.120 I'm so sorry, but yeah, men's don't pass away. And 24 00:01:06.200 --> 00:01:10.719 I got so upset like she buen that lives. I 25 00:01:10.799 --> 00:01:15.120 don't even think it's it's in the United States, pass 26 00:01:15.239 --> 00:01:18.239 away out in the world somewhere, and I am deeply 27 00:01:18.359 --> 00:01:21.599 fucking affected by it. Yeah, that's the problem with following 28 00:01:21.640 --> 00:01:23.560 pets online. I forgot to It's a danger. 29 00:01:23.640 --> 00:01:40.560 It's a danger. Y'all be aware. Hey, I'm Paul in America, 30 00:01:40.719 --> 00:01:42.480 and this is that aged. 31 00:01:42.079 --> 00:01:44.640 Well, yesterday's pop culture. 32 00:01:44.280 --> 00:01:51.640 Today, three Hon dreff episodes. Cue the confetti, cue the 33 00:01:51.760 --> 00:01:57.120 naked men dancing around. We want to do something special 34 00:01:57.159 --> 00:01:58.959 for the three hundredth episode, Erica. We want to do 35 00:01:59.000 --> 00:02:01.879 something unique. And you said, I. 36 00:02:01.879 --> 00:02:06.000 Said, Paul, we should do the film the three hundred 37 00:02:06.040 --> 00:02:08.280 because it has the title. I don't know if you 38 00:02:08.319 --> 00:02:11.639 get it, the title title, number of episodes that we've done, 39 00:02:11.960 --> 00:02:16.759 and also the number of spartans who died this battle 40 00:02:16.960 --> 00:02:17.879 a billion years ago. 41 00:02:18.080 --> 00:02:20.199 Now, Erica, you didn't watch closely. Apparently it was two 42 00:02:20.280 --> 00:02:21.639 hundred and ninety nine according to this. 43 00:02:22.560 --> 00:02:26.199 Yeah, David Wenham got out of their staff tree. Lucky bastard. 44 00:02:26.599 --> 00:02:28.800 All right. Before we get to three hundred, we do 45 00:02:28.840 --> 00:02:30.759 have a couple of five star reviews to read. Do 46 00:02:30.759 --> 00:02:31.800 you want to read the first one? 47 00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:37.280 Sure? The first review comes from Chili Pepper thirteen, longtime listener, 48 00:02:37.400 --> 00:02:38.159 first time. 49 00:02:38.000 --> 00:02:38.879 Caller love it. 50 00:02:39.360 --> 00:02:42.120 I discovered the show during the pandemic after moving out 51 00:02:42.159 --> 00:02:45.360 of New York to Florida. Hey, I am currently in Florida, 52 00:02:45.719 --> 00:02:49.280 Chili Pepper thirteen. It's a scene down here, man. 53 00:02:49.520 --> 00:02:50.240 It's the whole scene. 54 00:02:50.360 --> 00:02:53.280 It's the whole scene. And finding myself in the car 55 00:02:53.319 --> 00:02:56.240 for long stretches of time, I will admit it has 56 00:02:56.319 --> 00:02:59.080 become my savior. I have laughed out loud a bit 57 00:02:59.120 --> 00:03:01.479 too much while driving, but the mix of humor, the 58 00:03:01.520 --> 00:03:05.639 comfort of rehashing my generations, films and Erica, how shall 59 00:03:05.680 --> 00:03:10.000 we say, miamis okay? And Paul's New York nest. 60 00:03:10.280 --> 00:03:12.639 That's pronounced New York, Miss New York. 61 00:03:12.400 --> 00:03:14.159 Neis my Nie is pronounced like. 62 00:03:14.120 --> 00:03:18.080 This, Miami nas it pronounced like a Savia Fergara exactly. 63 00:03:18.240 --> 00:03:25.120 Hey, it's a It's a Gloria Stepan, all right. I 64 00:03:25.159 --> 00:03:28.599 feel seen on so many levels. I am for sure 65 00:03:28.680 --> 00:03:32.319 a lifelong fan. Five hundred stars. 66 00:03:32.120 --> 00:03:35.599 Ah, Chili Pepper thirteen, Thank you Cheese. 67 00:03:35.400 --> 00:03:37.800 Must ask yes, Chili Pepper thirteen. If you are in 68 00:03:37.800 --> 00:03:40.919 the Miami area, I hope we run into each other 69 00:03:41.000 --> 00:03:41.800 someday on the street. 70 00:03:41.879 --> 00:03:44.159 Yep, to carry your tote bag. If you want a 71 00:03:44.159 --> 00:03:45.960 toe bag, let us know and then Erica will recognize 72 00:03:45.960 --> 00:03:46.520 you from Afar. 73 00:03:46.879 --> 00:03:50.719 Yeah, I'll jump on your car. Is that an actual topeg. 74 00:03:53.680 --> 00:03:56.000 We also have a five star review from pod Chaser 75 00:03:56.039 --> 00:04:00.280 today Erica. This one is from R. L. Gavrila and 76 00:04:00.319 --> 00:04:03.000 they write, one of my absolute favorites. I look forward 77 00:04:03.000 --> 00:04:05.199 to Mondays because I know I get to spend my 78 00:04:05.240 --> 00:04:08.080 commute with Paul and Erica. I have literally laughed so 79 00:04:08.159 --> 00:04:11.080 hard I cried. The alternate bathroom scene in Psycho nearly 80 00:04:11.159 --> 00:04:14.879 killed me. I love their friendship, their humor, and their tangents. 81 00:04:15.039 --> 00:04:17.439 Even when I disagree with their assessments, I shall hear 82 00:04:17.560 --> 00:04:21.680 no WILLI wanka slander. My day is brighter for this podcast, 83 00:04:21.920 --> 00:04:23.920 knowing that we have these two voices to keep us 84 00:04:23.920 --> 00:04:26.720 company in the dark times ahead. That will age. 85 00:04:26.720 --> 00:04:29.720 Well, that's the nicest thing that really is. 86 00:04:30.120 --> 00:04:33.639 Thank you, Thank you you did miss my favorite. Oh 87 00:04:33.720 --> 00:04:36.920 damn Willy Wonka. Moment after mister Salt goes down the shoot, 88 00:04:36.959 --> 00:04:40.040 Grandpa Joe says, well, mister Salt got what he always wanted. 89 00:04:40.279 --> 00:04:44.360 Veruka went first. Oh damn oh damn, that's true. In 90 00:04:45.000 --> 00:04:47.399 Erica's defense, I think she did bring up that line 91 00:04:47.399 --> 00:04:49.439 and I cut it for time. Sometimes we'll just like 92 00:04:49.839 --> 00:04:51.639 mention a great line and we don't do anything with it, 93 00:04:51.680 --> 00:04:53.879 and I'm like, I have to try to keep this 94 00:04:54.040 --> 00:04:56.079 to a manageable size, So I have to take some 95 00:04:56.120 --> 00:04:56.879 of this stuff out. 96 00:04:57.360 --> 00:04:58.759 You have to keep this to the size of a 97 00:04:58.800 --> 00:04:59.720 Florida commute to me. 98 00:04:59.800 --> 00:05:05.600 Yes, exactly exactly. Chilli Pepper thirteen R. L. Gavrila, thank 99 00:05:05.639 --> 00:05:07.399 you so much for these reviews. If you want a 100 00:05:07.439 --> 00:05:09.639 tope bag so Erica can maraud you on the streets 101 00:05:09.639 --> 00:05:12.160 of Miami. Ah, please let us know this is you. 102 00:05:12.279 --> 00:05:14.720 I will send it off for you. Erica, we already 103 00:05:14.720 --> 00:05:16.480 know what movie we spoiled, the movie we're talking about, 104 00:05:16.519 --> 00:05:18.279 but tell us little bit about it. What kind of 105 00:05:18.279 --> 00:05:19.199 movie is three hundred? 106 00:05:19.319 --> 00:05:23.120 Today's film is the two thousand and seven Horny historical 107 00:05:23.199 --> 00:05:24.399 epic three. 108 00:05:24.319 --> 00:05:27.040 Hundred, three hundred, which was requested by no one because 109 00:05:27.040 --> 00:05:28.600 you didn't know we were doing this. It is requested 110 00:05:28.639 --> 00:05:30.720 by me, it was requested by Erica. It's a gift 111 00:05:30.759 --> 00:05:32.600 for Erica, and I think I think you all are 112 00:05:32.600 --> 00:05:34.040 gonna like it. I think You're gonna like what we 113 00:05:34.079 --> 00:05:35.360 have in store for you in this episode. 114 00:05:35.680 --> 00:05:38.040 Yes, Goddamn movie. 115 00:05:38.480 --> 00:05:41.879 Three hundred was written by Zack Snyder, Kurt Johnstaid, and 116 00:05:42.079 --> 00:05:42.639 Michael B. 117 00:05:42.920 --> 00:05:47.680 Gordon Not Jordan, not to be confused with actor Michael B. 118 00:05:47.879 --> 00:05:50.519 Jordan, Not to be confused with the stunningly beautiful actor 119 00:05:50.600 --> 00:05:52.800 Michael B. Jordan. Look, Michael B. Gordon, They also be 120 00:05:52.800 --> 00:05:54.879 stunningly beautiful. I don't know, we don't know. 121 00:05:55.240 --> 00:05:57.399 But also two thousand and seven, Michael B. Jordan was 122 00:05:57.560 --> 00:05:59.040 conservatively fourteen years. 123 00:05:58.920 --> 00:06:01.720 Old, so probably not probably not him, but present day 124 00:06:01.800 --> 00:06:04.920 Michael B. Jordan is a site to behold. Let's just 125 00:06:04.959 --> 00:06:07.480 say it, like he could have performed in this movie. 126 00:06:07.480 --> 00:06:09.519 That's how hot he is. It was based on the 127 00:06:09.519 --> 00:06:12.040 graphic novel of the same name by Frank Miller and 128 00:06:12.120 --> 00:06:16.120 Lynn Varley. It was directed by Snyder and stars Gerard Butler, 129 00:06:16.199 --> 00:06:21.920 Rodrigo Santoro, Lenahiiti, David Wenham, Michael Fossbender, and Dominic West. 130 00:06:22.240 --> 00:06:25.759 The gasp when I saw Michael Fossbender on my screen, 131 00:06:26.079 --> 00:06:27.680 I did not know he was in this. It was 132 00:06:27.720 --> 00:06:31.199 a total surprise. I've seen this before, and I remember 133 00:06:31.240 --> 00:06:34.720 Dominic West, and I remember like Gerard Butler obviously in 134 00:06:34.800 --> 00:06:39.879 Rodrigo Santo the Gasp. I was like, what are you 135 00:06:40.160 --> 00:06:44.800 doing here? It's like finding like a brilliant Shakespearean actor 136 00:06:44.839 --> 00:06:47.319 in your soap opera and you're like, why are you 137 00:06:47.360 --> 00:06:47.639 in this? 138 00:06:48.199 --> 00:06:50.639 I saw him and I was like, Magnino Noginos in this. 139 00:06:50.680 --> 00:06:51.279 They're gonna win. 140 00:06:54.480 --> 00:06:57.639 The principal cast of three hundred underwent an eight week 141 00:06:57.839 --> 00:07:00.720 training regime in order to sculpt their bodies into the 142 00:07:00.759 --> 00:07:02.920 shape the film required. I don't know if eight weeks 143 00:07:02.959 --> 00:07:03.879 is enough time to cry. 144 00:07:03.879 --> 00:07:06.360 I was gonna say, they're starting from a seven and 145 00:07:06.439 --> 00:07:08.639 have to get to a ten. It's gonna take me 146 00:07:08.839 --> 00:07:10.879 a solid six months to a year. 147 00:07:11.240 --> 00:07:13.480 They have to get to like a fourteen. They're not 148 00:07:13.519 --> 00:07:15.720 getting to a ten. So the first of I saw 149 00:07:15.759 --> 00:07:17.480 this movie, I was convinced that it was all like 150 00:07:17.560 --> 00:07:20.319 CGI asked yes. I was like, there's no way these 151 00:07:20.360 --> 00:07:25.079 actors maintained because these physiques are impossible to maintain. Like, 152 00:07:25.160 --> 00:07:27.680 no one ate on that set, No one had lunch. 153 00:07:28.079 --> 00:07:30.839 Everyone between takes had to have just been like working 154 00:07:30.879 --> 00:07:33.040 out constantly to maintain that look. 155 00:07:32.920 --> 00:07:35.560 And not drinking any water. Probably, yeah, not drinking any water. 156 00:07:35.680 --> 00:07:38.079 Even that's true. I felt a little bad for the 157 00:07:38.120 --> 00:07:40.600 actors this time around. I was I came here to 158 00:07:40.639 --> 00:07:45.240 objectify them, and I feel a little bad because the 159 00:07:45.279 --> 00:07:46.920 amount of work they had to put in to make 160 00:07:46.959 --> 00:07:48.439 these bodies bodies. 161 00:07:48.160 --> 00:07:51.199 Like it's insane, Like Gerard Butler has said, is the 162 00:07:51.199 --> 00:07:53.879 hardest thing I've ever done, and he has like ongoing 163 00:07:53.920 --> 00:07:56.959 physical not terrible physical problems, but like aches and pains 164 00:07:56.959 --> 00:08:00.839 from like this shoot, like this is not what human 165 00:08:00.879 --> 00:08:03.240 bodies were meant to look like, but they are meant 166 00:08:03.240 --> 00:08:03.920 to be looked at. 167 00:08:04.480 --> 00:08:07.680 Oh but however, as bad as I feel about that, 168 00:08:07.839 --> 00:08:10.399 I am still going to spend the next two hours 169 00:08:10.439 --> 00:08:11.279 being disgusting. 170 00:08:11.399 --> 00:08:13.160 I put this in too because I had the same 171 00:08:13.199 --> 00:08:15.480 experience as you, where I was like, oh, well, they 172 00:08:15.600 --> 00:08:18.319 just enhanced because the look of this movie, they're trying 173 00:08:18.319 --> 00:08:20.079 to make it look like the comic book, So there's 174 00:08:20.279 --> 00:08:22.800 a lot of cinematography going on, has a very like 175 00:08:23.519 --> 00:08:26.240 kind of washed out sounds bad, but like almost like 176 00:08:26.319 --> 00:08:29.439 monochromatic tone to it. So it would be so easy 177 00:08:29.480 --> 00:08:32.799 to enhance these guys' abs in post, so easy, and 178 00:08:32.840 --> 00:08:35.480 they're not. But they're all real. I'm like Jesus Christ, 179 00:08:35.600 --> 00:08:36.320 like the actor. 180 00:08:36.080 --> 00:08:38.200 Who got away the easiest is the one who gets 181 00:08:38.279 --> 00:08:39.200 to play the hunchback. 182 00:08:39.279 --> 00:08:40.480 Yeah, because even though he's. 183 00:08:40.399 --> 00:08:43.720 Under like fifty pounds of prosthetic, he's like, well, at 184 00:08:43.799 --> 00:08:44.559 least I didn't have to. 185 00:08:44.759 --> 00:08:46.799 Yeah, you're wrong the one who got off the easiest 186 00:08:46.840 --> 00:08:48.360 with Dominic West. You know, so you just draped a 187 00:08:48.440 --> 00:08:51.120 toga across his chest the entire goddamn movie. 188 00:08:53.480 --> 00:08:55.679 Do we think Dominic West has no abs in this. 189 00:08:56.080 --> 00:08:58.679 I hope not. I hope he doesn't. I really really, 190 00:08:59.000 --> 00:09:01.960 these guys Erica, these guys don't have load roads. They 191 00:09:02.000 --> 00:09:04.200 don't just have cum gutters. They have like a spooge 192 00:09:04.240 --> 00:09:05.679 luge down their front. 193 00:09:07.759 --> 00:09:09.799 I felt so bad for Dominic Wes. He does not 194 00:09:09.840 --> 00:09:10.879 look good in this movie. 195 00:09:10.919 --> 00:09:12.799 He doesn't, but he looks perfect for the role. 196 00:09:13.240 --> 00:09:15.919 This is not his look because he's already got rested 197 00:09:16.000 --> 00:09:18.360 sat her face yea. And so you stick him in 198 00:09:18.360 --> 00:09:21.519 a movie like this and you're just like, you don't 199 00:09:21.559 --> 00:09:23.639 look human, and not in a good way, not in 200 00:09:23.679 --> 00:09:26.559 a Rodrigo Santoro sexy way, in a in a not 201 00:09:26.639 --> 00:09:27.120 good way. 202 00:09:27.320 --> 00:09:30.639 We are gonna have a long talk about Rodrigo Santaurro 203 00:09:30.720 --> 00:09:36.519 in this film. Nobody worried it is Coming Erica. Many 204 00:09:36.600 --> 00:09:39.519 Iranians were offended by the portrayal of the ancient Persians 205 00:09:39.519 --> 00:09:40.879 in the movie, claiming the. 206 00:09:40.799 --> 00:09:44.480 Racist oh guys, are you sure. 207 00:09:45.080 --> 00:09:49.879 President Amenajad of Iran called it American psychological warfare against Iran. 208 00:09:51.039 --> 00:09:53.919 I mean there's also a lot sexier, I'm sure, and 209 00:09:54.120 --> 00:09:56.559 homo erotic, more homo erotic than that man would have 210 00:09:56.600 --> 00:09:57.360 wanted it to be. 211 00:09:57.559 --> 00:09:58.960 Yeah, a little bit, a little bit. 212 00:09:59.639 --> 00:10:02.840 I mean, look, yeah, no, I it's it's not good. 213 00:10:02.919 --> 00:10:04.279 It's good, you guys, It's not great. 214 00:10:04.279 --> 00:10:06.320 It's funny because it's racist in a way where that's 215 00:10:06.320 --> 00:10:09.720 like it doesn't even know it's being racist, which is 216 00:10:09.960 --> 00:10:11.879 worse than actual racism. I think. 217 00:10:12.039 --> 00:10:15.360 Well, the comic book creator and the director, Zack Snyder 218 00:10:15.360 --> 00:10:17.559 have responded to it, and their basic response is, none 219 00:10:17.559 --> 00:10:19.519 of this is meant to be taken seriously. This is 220 00:10:19.559 --> 00:10:23.120 not historically accurate. There's magic and whatever in this in 221 00:10:23.159 --> 00:10:26.480 this like Xerxes is ten feet tall for no reason, 222 00:10:26.559 --> 00:10:29.600 like and I kind of get that, but I'm like, 223 00:10:29.720 --> 00:10:34.159 but then, don't use the historical names of people or 224 00:10:34.440 --> 00:10:35.360 just make the. 225 00:10:35.200 --> 00:10:39.480 Three hundred not all white men and the other team 226 00:10:39.600 --> 00:10:40.879 all people of color. 227 00:10:40.840 --> 00:10:42.000 Like that's really easy. 228 00:10:42.000 --> 00:10:44.120 I had to do really easy swap out some of 229 00:10:44.120 --> 00:10:44.759 those actors. 230 00:10:44.960 --> 00:10:47.879 Put Michael B. Jordan today in the three hundred. 231 00:10:47.600 --> 00:10:51.559 That helps, yes, please, please, and thank you. Yeah no, 232 00:10:51.639 --> 00:10:54.919 But honestly, it's like it's an easy fix. Everyone who 233 00:10:55.000 --> 00:10:57.080 is in like a Greek or a Spartan in this 234 00:10:57.080 --> 00:11:00.639 film is white, and not everyone who most the people 235 00:11:01.039 --> 00:11:03.559 who are fighting for Persia there's supposed to be people 236 00:11:03.559 --> 00:11:07.480 from all over Asia and Africa are people of color. 237 00:11:07.519 --> 00:11:09.480 It doesn't make any sense. You know what they have 238 00:11:09.639 --> 00:11:12.240 plenty of in Greece, people of color. 239 00:11:12.480 --> 00:11:16.480 Yeah. And also the Greeks aren't even being played by Greeks, 240 00:11:16.480 --> 00:11:19.080 are being played by like irishmen, so they're like really white, 241 00:11:19.440 --> 00:11:20.200 super white. 242 00:11:20.799 --> 00:11:23.759 Yeah. Yeah. All the Spartans are being played by people. 243 00:11:23.480 --> 00:11:25.559 From the UK, people whose skin hasn't seen the sun 244 00:11:25.600 --> 00:11:27.440 because if they do, it lights on fire. 245 00:11:27.399 --> 00:11:30.360 Like all redheads and shit. I'm like, yeah, that's what 246 00:11:30.399 --> 00:11:31.080 Greeks look like. 247 00:11:31.440 --> 00:11:31.919 Yeah. 248 00:11:31.960 --> 00:11:34.360 I want to be clear the film is racist. It's not, 249 00:11:34.679 --> 00:11:37.120 and it's almost worse because it's not trying to be 250 00:11:37.240 --> 00:11:40.600 racist and it just is doing it on accident. Yes, 251 00:11:41.000 --> 00:11:43.559 and that's no bueno. And like there are like the 252 00:11:43.720 --> 00:11:46.360 entire Persian army is not people of color, Like there 253 00:11:46.399 --> 00:11:49.360 are like lighter skinned people in there as well, but 254 00:11:49.480 --> 00:11:51.120 I did notice that for the most part, those are 255 00:11:51.120 --> 00:11:53.799 the folks who are covered up. Yeah, and so you 256 00:11:53.919 --> 00:11:56.000 almost don't see their faces. And then the people whose 257 00:11:56.039 --> 00:11:58.120 faces you do see are all black and brown. And 258 00:11:58.159 --> 00:12:02.360 I'm like, okay, you guys, Like no one on set 259 00:12:02.480 --> 00:12:02.840 was like. 260 00:12:02.799 --> 00:12:05.480 Hey, should we maybe diversify. 261 00:12:05.039 --> 00:12:09.679 Diversify the cast just a scoch So mahmudah majinadad and 262 00:12:09.720 --> 00:12:12.000 I agree on something cool cool. 263 00:12:12.559 --> 00:12:13.919 I love being in this position. 264 00:12:14.240 --> 00:12:16.000 Yeah, this is fun, this feels good. 265 00:12:16.080 --> 00:12:17.480 I love being in this position. Is the title of 266 00:12:17.480 --> 00:12:18.080 your sex tape? 267 00:12:18.120 --> 00:12:24.440 Right? Yeah. Three hundred has a sixty one percent critical 268 00:12:24.480 --> 00:12:28.840 rating on Rotten Tomatoes and an eighty nine percent audience score. Paul, 269 00:12:28.919 --> 00:12:29.519 what do you think? 270 00:12:30.720 --> 00:12:37.080 Okay, Look, I understand critically being like there's something good 271 00:12:37.080 --> 00:12:38.679 in this movie, like it's it's doing a lot of 272 00:12:38.679 --> 00:12:41.639 stuff with like CGI and all that, So I could 273 00:12:41.679 --> 00:12:44.639 see giving it like a sixty percent critical rating for 274 00:12:44.799 --> 00:12:48.000 like a you took a big swing kind of kind 275 00:12:48.000 --> 00:12:50.240 of thing, leaving out the racism part of it. But 276 00:12:50.320 --> 00:12:53.200 it's like the technical achievement of the movie, Like, the 277 00:12:53.200 --> 00:12:55.919 movie is trying to literally recreate the comic book panel 278 00:12:55.960 --> 00:12:58.919 for panel. I think that sounds very limiting in the 279 00:12:58.960 --> 00:13:02.080 idea of an adaptation, but that's what they said to do. 280 00:13:02.120 --> 00:13:04.840 And then they added the Lenahiti scenes in Sparta once 281 00:13:04.879 --> 00:13:08.240 the three hundred leve that's all movie knew stuff. From 282 00:13:08.240 --> 00:13:08.720 my understand. 283 00:13:08.879 --> 00:13:11.320 Oh good. I'm glad because every time they cut to her, 284 00:13:11.360 --> 00:13:12.200 I was like, oh, thank god. 285 00:13:12.440 --> 00:13:16.480 Yeah. Then eighty nine percent audience score also doesn't surprise me, 286 00:13:16.559 --> 00:13:19.720 because I'm like, this movie is for a certain subset 287 00:13:19.720 --> 00:13:22.399 of people, and those people are going to fucking love it, 288 00:13:22.799 --> 00:13:25.840 and that's fine. I don't think it's anything inherently wrong 289 00:13:25.879 --> 00:13:29.879 with that. There is a lot of stuff. If you 290 00:13:29.960 --> 00:13:32.200 like Peel, if you like under the Cover of Sparta, 291 00:13:32.399 --> 00:13:34.320 the heroes of this film, there's stuff that you're like, well, 292 00:13:34.320 --> 00:13:37.440 that's not great. There's I think we can say safely 293 00:13:37.480 --> 00:13:41.480 there's some toxic masculinity going on, although that term would 294 00:13:41.480 --> 00:13:43.759 not have been used in Sparta. It's all very confusing, 295 00:13:44.360 --> 00:13:45.120 honestly though. 296 00:13:45.200 --> 00:13:47.440 That's part of it for me. Yeah, like in terms 297 00:13:47.480 --> 00:13:49.960 of the eroticism of the film, and I'm not I'm 298 00:13:50.080 --> 00:13:53.679 only literally like a third joking here the dumb, toxic 299 00:13:53.759 --> 00:13:57.240 masculinity in the film, like the adherence to like we 300 00:13:57.360 --> 00:14:00.279 will die on this hill today, tonight we dine I know, 301 00:14:00.960 --> 00:14:03.919 as they're like bodies are glistening and they're like running 302 00:14:03.960 --> 00:14:06.080 with spears. It's all part of it. For me. I 303 00:14:06.600 --> 00:14:08.840 find this movie very entertaining. 304 00:14:09.039 --> 00:14:11.519 It makes me laugh because it reminds me whenever I 305 00:14:11.679 --> 00:14:13.679 read like a book about a gay couple written by 306 00:14:13.679 --> 00:14:15.759 a woman, like a romantic comedy about a gay couple 307 00:14:15.840 --> 00:14:19.159 that inevitably, inevitably one of them is like a construction 308 00:14:19.200 --> 00:14:22.559 worker and then like inevitably they're like, oh man, just 309 00:14:22.600 --> 00:14:24.039 want to go, like go have pizza and beer, and 310 00:14:24.039 --> 00:14:25.840 then they fuck And I'm like, no one fucks after 311 00:14:25.879 --> 00:14:29.519 pizza and beer. That's not how it works. It's the 312 00:14:29.559 --> 00:14:32.159 toxically masculine stuff. I get it. I'm not judging, to 313 00:14:32.320 --> 00:14:36.000 be clear. I get it, like like it's it's it's hot, 314 00:14:36.039 --> 00:14:37.879 it's a hot Yeah, it is. 315 00:14:38.080 --> 00:14:41.600 Fun, like you are right by the way. The movie 316 00:14:41.679 --> 00:14:45.759 is not good and also and also the messaging is 317 00:14:46.320 --> 00:14:48.399 not great, and I know this movie is not for me. 318 00:14:48.559 --> 00:14:51.039 It's not for a forty year old woman who understands 319 00:14:51.159 --> 00:14:54.480 how stupid and funny. This all is. It's four teenage 320 00:14:54.559 --> 00:14:57.759 boys who will not understand the nuance of what they're 321 00:14:57.799 --> 00:15:00.960 watching and understand that like, Okay, yeah, sure, there's a 322 00:15:00.960 --> 00:15:03.639 certain historical context for all of this, like. 323 00:15:04.320 --> 00:15:06.639 Militaristic, macho shit. 324 00:15:06.679 --> 00:15:10.159 Lifestyle like that these that these people lived lived under 325 00:15:10.519 --> 00:15:13.960 like but and I think that's that's part of the problem, 326 00:15:14.399 --> 00:15:16.759 is that, like who who was the audience for this 327 00:15:16.840 --> 00:15:19.039 film and what message are they taking away from it? 328 00:15:19.320 --> 00:15:22.200 And none of the messaging is good. Now, if you 329 00:15:22.240 --> 00:15:24.360 are a forty year old woman, though, you just want 330 00:15:24.399 --> 00:15:26.960 to You just want to watch some hot dudes battle 331 00:15:27.000 --> 00:15:30.080 it out. This movie is awesome. 332 00:15:30.279 --> 00:15:32.039 So, Erica, when did you first see three hundred? 333 00:15:32.519 --> 00:15:35.279 Saw it in the theater? Paul, Okay, here's a great story. 334 00:15:36.399 --> 00:15:39.000 I mean, no shit, the horniest movie I've ever seen. 335 00:15:39.320 --> 00:15:42.639 And we saw Shame also starring Michael Fosspensers saw shait. 336 00:15:42.720 --> 00:15:45.799 Yeah that's actually not that horny, because yeah, depressing as fuck. 337 00:15:46.320 --> 00:15:48.679 But I saw this in the theater like the day 338 00:15:48.679 --> 00:15:51.080 after Christmas or the week of Christmas or whenever it 339 00:15:51.120 --> 00:15:53.600 came out, or maybe it was it was Thanksgiving, because 340 00:15:53.600 --> 00:15:55.919 I was in Miami for this and I watched it 341 00:15:55.960 --> 00:15:59.840 with my dad, my brother, and two of my uncles, 342 00:16:00.679 --> 00:16:03.039 and I'm sitting right in the middle of all three 343 00:16:03.080 --> 00:16:04.679 of them, and in the middle of the movie, all 344 00:16:04.720 --> 00:16:07.039 I could think is, I was like, I'm so glad 345 00:16:07.080 --> 00:16:11.480 women can't get erections because they would all see what 346 00:16:11.720 --> 00:16:14.360 is happening right now. And what is happening right now 347 00:16:14.440 --> 00:16:17.320 is a sexual awakening the likes of which I didn't 348 00:16:17.360 --> 00:16:20.320 think were possible in my mid twenties. 349 00:16:20.799 --> 00:16:22.799 Erica, as someone as a teen, as someone who wants 350 00:16:22.840 --> 00:16:25.000 a teen boy, I can tell you that's why you 351 00:16:25.039 --> 00:16:26.240 always buy the popcorn. 352 00:16:26.360 --> 00:16:28.600 You always buy the popcorn because you have a chance 353 00:16:28.639 --> 00:16:29.919 to diddle yourself a little bit. 354 00:16:30.279 --> 00:16:32.080 Well, I was saying, thinking of like a pillow, like 355 00:16:32.080 --> 00:16:32.759 a cover if. 356 00:16:32.679 --> 00:16:33.039 You needed it. 357 00:16:33.440 --> 00:16:36.320 Sure, But honestly, I was like, I was like, oh, 358 00:16:36.360 --> 00:16:36.879 you poke. 359 00:16:36.720 --> 00:16:38.440 Three es, the butter is lube, and you get yourself 360 00:16:38.480 --> 00:16:40.080 off real quick to go there you go. 361 00:16:40.240 --> 00:16:42.440 I never thought of myself as the kind of person 362 00:16:42.440 --> 00:16:45.120 who was attracted to this until I saw this movie 363 00:16:45.159 --> 00:16:48.919 and I was like, oh, I get it, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 364 00:16:49.200 --> 00:16:49.879 I'm into this. 365 00:16:50.240 --> 00:16:51.720 Sure so attractive. 366 00:16:52.080 --> 00:16:54.039 How about you, Paul, when did you first see The 367 00:16:54.080 --> 00:16:54.720 Three hundred. 368 00:16:55.120 --> 00:16:57.879 I have never seen this movie. When it came out, 369 00:16:57.919 --> 00:17:01.279 I strongly considered seeing it because like, it's so homo erotic, 370 00:17:01.320 --> 00:17:03.679 And even back then, I was like, is it though 371 00:17:04.000 --> 00:17:04.319 it's not. 372 00:17:04.440 --> 00:17:06.599 It's just erotic. It's not homoooic. 373 00:17:06.960 --> 00:17:10.119 As much fun as I have watching like these guys 374 00:17:10.160 --> 00:17:13.079 who have sculpted their bodies into these godlike figures, which 375 00:17:13.119 --> 00:17:15.920 I can absolutely appreciate, I do not find this movie 376 00:17:15.920 --> 00:17:19.400 particularly erotic, Like it doesn't like tickle my pickle at all. 377 00:17:19.680 --> 00:17:22.480 Like I was actually shocked at my reaction to this movie, 378 00:17:22.519 --> 00:17:24.400 which is I found a little boring. 379 00:17:24.839 --> 00:17:27.720 I will agree with you on that. So this is 380 00:17:27.759 --> 00:17:29.400 the second time I've seen it. I saw it one 381 00:17:29.400 --> 00:17:31.319 time in the theater a million years ago, when I 382 00:17:31.319 --> 00:17:33.200 had mixed feelings about watching it with all the male 383 00:17:33.240 --> 00:17:35.960 members of my family. Sure, And then the second time 384 00:17:36.079 --> 00:17:38.079 was yesterday when I saw it again with my dad 385 00:17:38.119 --> 00:17:39.599 and I'm like, why do I keep watching this with 386 00:17:39.640 --> 00:17:42.880 my dad? I found myself like looking up stuff during 387 00:17:42.880 --> 00:17:45.640 the movie, like now that it's a second screen experience, 388 00:17:45.680 --> 00:17:47.599 I was like, is that a real thing? Oh, it 389 00:17:47.680 --> 00:17:49.119 is a real thing. Oh, look at that they all 390 00:17:49.119 --> 00:17:51.359 did go through that training when they were kids, because 391 00:17:51.400 --> 00:17:55.039 there's long stretches of the movie that are just really repetitive. Yeah, 392 00:17:55.079 --> 00:17:57.359 and we all know how this well, maybe not, I 393 00:17:57.359 --> 00:18:00.599 imagine actually quite a few Americans will be like they, 394 00:18:02.240 --> 00:18:05.240 but I know how it ends because it's a pretty 395 00:18:05.240 --> 00:18:08.680 famous fucking battle. And yeah, I agree with you. I 396 00:18:08.720 --> 00:18:11.039 found it a little bit boring this time. 397 00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:13.880 Yeah, I look, this is not a movie for Paul's 398 00:18:14.799 --> 00:18:17.640 quite clearly. I didn't hate it. It wasn't like, oh 399 00:18:17.640 --> 00:18:19.680 my god, this is terrible. I hate that I'm watching this, 400 00:18:20.400 --> 00:18:23.200 But I was bored. I was bored. I got tired 401 00:18:23.240 --> 00:18:25.160 of watching the battle scenes. I got tired of hearing 402 00:18:25.359 --> 00:18:28.400 the declamatory speeches. It did not make me want to 403 00:18:28.400 --> 00:18:30.240 read the comic book at all, because I'm like, as 404 00:18:30.279 --> 00:18:32.519 interesting as this is, the comic book must be even 405 00:18:32.599 --> 00:18:34.960 less so, because I know for a fact that less 406 00:18:34.960 --> 00:18:37.920 happens because all the semi interesting stuff happening in Sparta 407 00:18:38.000 --> 00:18:40.279 isn't in the comic book. So like we're just looking 408 00:18:40.279 --> 00:18:43.200 at pictures of men in Spartan armor killing persians. Okay. 409 00:18:43.480 --> 00:18:43.880 Yeah. 410 00:18:44.240 --> 00:18:45.720 When I had to watch it again to do the recap, 411 00:18:45.759 --> 00:18:47.480 I was like ugh, And I was like you, I 412 00:18:47.519 --> 00:18:50.000 was like, usually I'm like pausing and getting everything, and 413 00:18:50.039 --> 00:18:52.519 I was like double screening, and it's like typing, typing, typing, typing. 414 00:18:52.559 --> 00:18:54.799 I don't think the writing's bad. I think like it's 415 00:18:54.880 --> 00:18:59.640 not deep, but it's good writing. It's very declamatory and inspiring. Erica. 416 00:18:59.640 --> 00:19:03.759 The tag line for three hundred is prepare for glory. 417 00:19:04.720 --> 00:19:05.000 Ha ha. 418 00:19:05.519 --> 00:19:07.559 I'm trying to do it my best. Yard Butler, who's 419 00:19:07.599 --> 00:19:09.960 trying to not have a Scottish accent but isn't quite 420 00:19:10.039 --> 00:19:10.519 getting there. 421 00:19:10.960 --> 00:19:14.119 Leonidas, the king of Sparta, who sounds like he's just 422 00:19:14.200 --> 00:19:19.759 inhaled a hagis the entire film. This sounds like he's 423 00:19:19.839 --> 00:19:25.240 one of the proclaimers. I would walk five hundred miles. 424 00:19:25.000 --> 00:19:27.720 For Sparta, who sounds like he has a money bin 425 00:19:27.839 --> 00:19:28.759 somewhere in Sparta. 426 00:19:29.480 --> 00:19:32.519 Yeah, so Scottish. He cannot hide the accent. 427 00:19:32.559 --> 00:19:33.400 It's hilarious. 428 00:19:33.440 --> 00:19:35.960 It cannot. I kind of like this taglineer I. 429 00:19:35.960 --> 00:19:37.400 Think it's fine. Yeah, that's what it is. 430 00:19:37.559 --> 00:19:40.480 The movie is ambitious in a certain way and not 431 00:19:40.599 --> 00:19:43.440 ambitious in another way. I do appreciate that it stays 432 00:19:43.440 --> 00:19:46.920 in its lane. It knows exactly what it is. 433 00:19:47.559 --> 00:19:49.000 Do you want to read the iTunes synopsis? 434 00:19:49.200 --> 00:19:53.599 Sure? The epic graphic novel by Frank Miller, assaults the 435 00:19:53.640 --> 00:19:54.960 screen as sure as fuck does. 436 00:19:55.079 --> 00:19:56.240 Sure that is the correct verb. 437 00:19:56.440 --> 00:20:00.680 That is the absolute correct verb. Yeah, with the blood, 438 00:20:00.839 --> 00:20:06.039 thunder and awe of its ferocious visual style, faithfully recreated 439 00:20:06.160 --> 00:20:10.079 in an intense blend of live action and CGI animation, 440 00:20:11.039 --> 00:20:15.359 retelling the ancient battle of Oh dear Greek words are coming, 441 00:20:16.359 --> 00:20:20.160 Here we go, Here we go, retelling the ancient Battle 442 00:20:20.200 --> 00:20:22.279 of Thermopylay, Did I get it? 443 00:20:22.440 --> 00:20:24.680 I think. I don't know if it's Thermopylae or Thermopyli, 444 00:20:24.759 --> 00:20:26.240 but I think it's I. 445 00:20:26.240 --> 00:20:31.000 Think Thermopyli, Thermopoli one of those. If you're a Greek listener, 446 00:20:31.039 --> 00:20:31.960 I apologize. 447 00:20:32.640 --> 00:20:34.400 I do like that the movie was smart enough to 448 00:20:34.440 --> 00:20:35.960 be like, it means hot Gates. We're just going to 449 00:20:36.000 --> 00:20:37.440 call it hot Gates the entire time. 450 00:20:38.599 --> 00:20:41.920 When you change the name to hot Gates, myself so dumb. 451 00:20:42.039 --> 00:20:43.960 It's so dumb and so sexual. 452 00:20:46.759 --> 00:20:51.000 It depicts the Titanic clash, in which King Leonidas, Gerard Butler, 453 00:20:51.079 --> 00:20:55.279 and three hundred Spartans fought to the death against Xerxes. 454 00:20:55.519 --> 00:21:01.799 Rodrigo Santoro and his massive Persian army experienced history at 455 00:21:01.880 --> 00:21:06.079 sword point and movie making with a cutting edge. You 456 00:21:06.079 --> 00:21:08.279 know what. This person wanted to sell this movie, and 457 00:21:08.319 --> 00:21:09.640 goddamn it, they're selling it. 458 00:21:09.720 --> 00:21:11.240 They did. But I'm gonna tell you there is only 459 00:21:11.279 --> 00:21:13.440 one movie that has a cutting edge, and that's the 460 00:21:13.440 --> 00:21:15.519 cutting edge. That's the cutting edge, that is the cutting 461 00:21:15.559 --> 00:21:17.279 They claim that that is theirs. 462 00:21:17.599 --> 00:21:21.559 At one point, though, Rodrigo Santoro does tell Robert Butler 463 00:21:21.599 --> 00:21:22.599 to put his ass in the air. 464 00:21:22.839 --> 00:21:25.000 I did see that he did that. That was great, 465 00:21:25.119 --> 00:21:26.839 that was and he did it was fun. 466 00:21:26.920 --> 00:21:29.720 Paul, what's the actual synopsis for three hundred? 467 00:21:29.880 --> 00:21:34.400 How about three hundred Roadhouse in Ancient Greece and the 468 00:21:34.480 --> 00:21:40.279 Uncanny Valley. There are moments where the CGI it happens 469 00:21:40.359 --> 00:21:43.440 right away that there's like a CGI baby and like 470 00:21:43.839 --> 00:21:46.279 the Uncanny Valley on that baby. 471 00:21:46.000 --> 00:21:48.759 Is Yeah, it's very two thousand and seven. Yeah, get 472 00:21:48.839 --> 00:21:51.359 super through that. Like two thousand and seven doesn't seem 473 00:21:51.400 --> 00:21:54.160 like that long ago, but technologically it is. It is 474 00:21:54.240 --> 00:21:56.559 another era in the past. 475 00:21:56.960 --> 00:22:00.119 All right, everyone stick around, we're gonna come right back. 476 00:22:00.119 --> 00:22:02.440 We're gonna take you through three hundred. After a couple 477 00:22:02.480 --> 00:22:04.319 of messages. You don't like messages, you can go to 478 00:22:04.319 --> 00:22:07.079 our Patreon Patreon dot com slash that age Weel podcast. 479 00:22:07.319 --> 00:22:09.400 Sign up for any paid tier and you get ad 480 00:22:09.400 --> 00:22:12.839 free episodes and more and more. AD free episodes are 481 00:22:12.880 --> 00:22:15.359 just the baseline. You don't want to do that, stick around. 482 00:22:15.400 --> 00:22:16.920 We will be right back. 483 00:22:25.640 --> 00:22:26.880 And we're back. 484 00:22:28.559 --> 00:22:30.000 We're back today. 485 00:22:30.200 --> 00:22:34.599 We podcast in hell all right. 486 00:22:35.440 --> 00:22:38.920 Three hundred opens with a voiceover from Dilios, played by 487 00:22:39.039 --> 00:22:42.880 David Wenham. He is a Spartan soldier and he explains 488 00:22:42.920 --> 00:22:45.519 the Spartan way of life and narrates the tale of 489 00:22:45.599 --> 00:22:48.720 King Leonidas the First And as he speaks, we see 490 00:22:48.720 --> 00:22:52.319 these scenes play out, starting with the birth of Leonidas. 491 00:22:53.240 --> 00:22:56.359 Dilios tells us how every child born in Sparta was 492 00:22:56.400 --> 00:23:00.920 inspected and judged on their physical worthiness. Those judged inadequate 493 00:23:01.000 --> 00:23:05.880 were thrown off a cliff. So damn, damn, this is harsh. 494 00:23:06.279 --> 00:23:10.759 It's very like different time, right, like different standards of behavior, like, 495 00:23:10.920 --> 00:23:13.440 but it's hard to be like these are the heroes. 496 00:23:14.000 --> 00:23:16.200 All the baby has to be as small and they're 497 00:23:16.200 --> 00:23:19.599 like not big enough off the cliff, Like babies are 498 00:23:19.599 --> 00:23:22.440 famously very small. What's the measuring stick? How big does 499 00:23:22.480 --> 00:23:25.359 one have to be to not get thrown off the cliff? 500 00:23:25.599 --> 00:23:27.519 Also, I feel like girl baby has got a pass 501 00:23:27.720 --> 00:23:30.400 in that case, right, Yeah? Rarely am I like? Boy? 502 00:23:30.440 --> 00:23:32.039 Am I glad I'm a girl in this world? 503 00:23:32.200 --> 00:23:33.480 By the way, I went down a little bit a 504 00:23:33.519 --> 00:23:36.920 Wikipedia hole. Apparently women in Sparta were treated very very well, 505 00:23:37.279 --> 00:23:37.640 very well. 506 00:23:37.720 --> 00:23:40.440 Yeah, they weren't citizens, but they were close. Yeah, which 507 00:23:40.480 --> 00:23:43.200 is better than the Athenians. I'll put it that way. 508 00:23:43.759 --> 00:23:46.880 Oh did I Paul? I stopped watching this movie at 509 00:23:46.920 --> 00:23:49.160 like eleven thirty. It finished for me at eleven thirty, 510 00:23:49.200 --> 00:23:51.319 and then I like looked up one or two things 511 00:23:51.319 --> 00:23:54.119 on Wikipedia, and then I looked up and suddenly it 512 00:23:54.160 --> 00:23:56.240 was one thirty in the morning, and I was like, ah, 513 00:23:56.759 --> 00:24:00.000 I fell down such a Wikipedia rabbit hole with this movie, 514 00:24:00.079 --> 00:24:03.559 and so like, there the ancient world is fucking interesting. 515 00:24:03.920 --> 00:24:05.160 Let's just put it that way. 516 00:24:05.319 --> 00:24:07.440 I'm sorry, I got distracted. I'm trying to think the 517 00:24:07.519 --> 00:24:09.880 last time I stopped watching something at eleven thirty at 518 00:24:09.960 --> 00:24:15.079 night or went to bed that that was New Year's Eve, 519 00:24:15.079 --> 00:24:16.880 and I was not happy about it. I'm gonna put 520 00:24:16.880 --> 00:24:18.799 that out there right now. I was not pleased. 521 00:24:18.920 --> 00:24:21.720 Those people are listening, they hear you, They. 522 00:24:21.640 --> 00:24:23.440 Know who they are, and they know what they did. Okay. 523 00:24:25.680 --> 00:24:29.039 So as soon as Leonidas could stand, he was quote 524 00:24:29.119 --> 00:24:32.839 unquote baptized in the fires of combat, and to I 525 00:24:33.039 --> 00:24:39.640 would walk fight. He was taught never to retreat, never 526 00:24:39.720 --> 00:24:42.880 to surrender, and that death on the battlefield in the 527 00:24:42.920 --> 00:24:45.920 service of Sparta was the greatest glory he could achieve 528 00:24:45.960 --> 00:24:49.640 in his life. Then at seven, he's put into warrior 529 00:24:49.680 --> 00:24:54.319 training with all the other Spartan boys and taught to fight, steal, kill, 530 00:24:54.359 --> 00:24:58.640 and endure starvation and torture. Once he's a teenager, it 531 00:24:58.720 --> 00:25:03.599 becomes a total bang fast. The movie doesn't say that, 532 00:25:03.680 --> 00:25:04.799 but that's what happened in my head. 533 00:25:05.400 --> 00:25:07.720 You know what, though, if you read the Wikipedia entry 534 00:25:07.759 --> 00:25:10.519 about this particular training they all went through, the boys 535 00:25:10.559 --> 00:25:12.279 went through, it was a total bank. 536 00:25:12.240 --> 00:25:15.440 Yeah, there are some different differing ideas, but some people 537 00:25:15.519 --> 00:25:17.640 think it was a total bank fast. 538 00:25:17.960 --> 00:25:20.200 Oh could it not be? What else are you gonna 539 00:25:20.240 --> 00:25:24.079 do teenage boys in the woods? Yeah, and force them 540 00:25:24.079 --> 00:25:26.160 to live on their wits. They're gonna all fuck each. 541 00:25:26.039 --> 00:25:28.839 Other a boys boarding school. Give me a break, Give 542 00:25:28.880 --> 00:25:32.319 me a break. So once it's a teenager, Leonidas and 543 00:25:32.359 --> 00:25:34.640 I presume all the other boys of his age are 544 00:25:34.680 --> 00:25:38.279 tossed into the wild to survive and return or perish 545 00:25:38.440 --> 00:25:41.480 and be forgotten. And we see him start getting stalked 546 00:25:41.519 --> 00:25:45.400 by this really gnarly looking quote unquote wolf, which it 547 00:25:45.480 --> 00:25:48.000 is a monster. It has glowing red eyes. It's not 548 00:25:48.039 --> 00:25:50.720 a wolf. He manages to kill the wolf and he 549 00:25:50.799 --> 00:25:52.000 returns to his people. 550 00:25:52.480 --> 00:25:54.200 I will say, like, and again, I don't know how 551 00:25:54.240 --> 00:25:56.920 sophisticated the audience for the film is once you put 552 00:25:57.000 --> 00:26:01.440 things in context of like this happened thousands of years 553 00:26:01.480 --> 00:26:04.559 ago in a land far, far away that has nothing 554 00:26:04.599 --> 00:26:07.559 to do with who we are anymore. This is a 555 00:26:07.599 --> 00:26:10.960 military society. We cannot tell you enough. This is the 556 00:26:10.960 --> 00:26:14.440 most militaristic society that maybe ever existed on the planet. 557 00:26:15.079 --> 00:26:17.319 That kind of takes some of the sting out of 558 00:26:17.319 --> 00:26:20.039 it for me in terms of like, yeah, these are 559 00:26:20.079 --> 00:26:22.279 our heroes, but look at the fucking context in which 560 00:26:22.359 --> 00:26:25.200 to which they were born into. So like that I 561 00:26:25.279 --> 00:26:27.640 have to say is maybe why my reaction to the 562 00:26:27.640 --> 00:26:30.920 film is a little bit softer than yours. But also 563 00:26:31.079 --> 00:26:34.519 I can't really exactly justify that it's terms of like 564 00:26:34.720 --> 00:26:36.759 art going out into the world, because I don't know 565 00:26:36.799 --> 00:26:39.480 that like your average viewer of this film is going 566 00:26:39.519 --> 00:26:43.440 to like internalize that dialogue of like, but this happened 567 00:26:43.480 --> 00:26:45.799 a million years ago in a land far, far away. 568 00:26:46.160 --> 00:26:49.400 We cut to Delios in person. Delios is the funniest name, right, 569 00:26:49.799 --> 00:26:52.720 he wins. He wins funniest name in the film because 570 00:26:52.720 --> 00:26:55.319 it sounds like Delio, like slang from the nineties. What's 571 00:26:55.359 --> 00:26:58.519 the videos? Yeah, and every time they said it, I left. 572 00:27:00.079 --> 00:27:03.200 He cut to Dilio in person. He's addressing a host 573 00:27:03.240 --> 00:27:06.039 of spartans with a bandage over one eye. Still looks hot. 574 00:27:06.119 --> 00:27:09.960 It still would still want Delios. He continues his tale. 575 00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:12.759 It's now thirty years later. Wait what, I didn't catch 576 00:27:12.799 --> 00:27:14.480 this part. It's thirty years later. 577 00:27:14.920 --> 00:27:17.359 Yeah, it's thirty years. 578 00:27:16.640 --> 00:27:18.759 Oh, since the birth of Leonidas. 579 00:27:18.319 --> 00:27:20.319 Since Leonidas came back from the woods. 580 00:27:20.359 --> 00:27:22.240 Got it, got it? Got it? I got my timeline. 581 00:27:22.279 --> 00:27:24.000 Messed up there for a second. Never mind, it's been 582 00:27:24.039 --> 00:27:26.319 thirty so that baby is now a. 583 00:27:26.240 --> 00:27:27.359 Man, is now a man? 584 00:27:27.599 --> 00:27:32.200 M It's now Scottish Gerard Butler. It's thirty years later. 585 00:27:32.279 --> 00:27:35.440 Another beast is approaching Greece. Only this beast is not 586 00:27:35.480 --> 00:27:38.319 a wolf. This beast is made of men and horses, 587 00:27:38.799 --> 00:27:43.519 swords and spears, an army of slaves, vast beyond imagining, 588 00:27:43.759 --> 00:27:47.279 ready to snuff out the world's one hope for reason 589 00:27:47.480 --> 00:27:52.359 and justice. Okay, we ever pivoted, We look ancient, greased, 590 00:27:52.359 --> 00:27:54.920 did a lot. Didn take that away from them. They 591 00:27:54.960 --> 00:27:57.559 did a lot for us. But calm the fuck down. 592 00:27:57.759 --> 00:27:58.559 Everyone, take a breath. 593 00:27:58.559 --> 00:28:00.839 We take a breath. Delios I think the Persians had 594 00:28:00.839 --> 00:28:04.599 some civilization as well. Yeah, King Leonidas himself was the 595 00:28:04.640 --> 00:28:08.640 one who provoked this army. Paul, how how did he 596 00:28:08.720 --> 00:28:11.279 provoke this army? Explain it to me? Please? 597 00:28:11.440 --> 00:28:13.880 He also didn't, to be fair, this army was coming 598 00:28:13.880 --> 00:28:16.000 without provocation. This was an invading force. 599 00:28:16.519 --> 00:28:18.880 That's all people did back then. They didn't have television, 600 00:28:19.240 --> 00:28:20.680 so they were just like, do you want to invade 601 00:28:20.720 --> 00:28:21.279 our neighbors? 602 00:28:21.359 --> 00:28:24.559 Okay, they didn't have podcasts. It is our responsibility to 603 00:28:24.599 --> 00:28:26.799 stop the Jingo was the expansion of empires. 604 00:28:27.000 --> 00:28:30.640 You're absolutely welcome. If America does not invade Greenland. It 605 00:28:30.720 --> 00:28:31.480 is us who did that. 606 00:28:31.720 --> 00:28:32.160 We did it. 607 00:28:32.440 --> 00:28:34.599 We did it. You're welcome Greenland. 608 00:28:34.279 --> 00:28:37.119 Specifically us too, just the two of us, not any 609 00:28:37.119 --> 00:28:42.039 other millions of podcasters out there. So we cut to 610 00:28:42.119 --> 00:28:46.519 Sparta and to groan Leonidas, played by Gerard Butler doing 611 00:28:46.559 --> 00:28:49.400 his level best to look sexy through a Caesar cut 612 00:28:49.400 --> 00:28:50.160 and a rattail. 613 00:28:50.279 --> 00:28:52.960 Goddamn it, Paul, Though it's working, he does. 614 00:28:52.759 --> 00:28:54.640 A pretty good job. He does better than I could. 615 00:28:54.839 --> 00:28:58.480 I'll say that he's rough housing with his young son 616 00:28:58.759 --> 00:29:01.799 as his wife Gorgo played by Lena Heity looks on. 617 00:29:02.240 --> 00:29:04.680 They receive word that a Persian messenger played by Peter 618 00:29:04.799 --> 00:29:07.680 Mensa has arrived. So we have the immediate introduction of 619 00:29:08.319 --> 00:29:11.880 a black man playing a Persian messenger into it the 620 00:29:11.920 --> 00:29:15.240 all white Sparta. Right, yep, the messenger is already being 621 00:29:15.240 --> 00:29:20.400 attended by Theron played by Dominic West. Is there any 622 00:29:20.440 --> 00:29:22.880 way for a man to have a goateee without a 623 00:29:22.960 --> 00:29:24.839 mustache and not look like a villain? 624 00:29:25.720 --> 00:29:29.200 Well, the problem too is he has resting goat face. Yes, 625 00:29:29.440 --> 00:29:33.880 he's an extremely handsome man, but the under the wrong circumstances, 626 00:29:33.880 --> 00:29:37.559 Dominic West does look like a goat, like a half man, 627 00:29:37.599 --> 00:29:40.039 half boat. I'm not kidding, resting state her face. 628 00:29:40.160 --> 00:29:42.640 It's the curls too. He has the curls. And he 629 00:29:42.640 --> 00:29:44.799 has a kind of this is not a judgment, like 630 00:29:44.839 --> 00:29:47.240 a little like an evil grin to him, and like 631 00:29:47.279 --> 00:29:49.720 he looks like the pick up artist, or like or 632 00:29:49.759 --> 00:29:51.680 like he looks like he smells like axe body spray, 633 00:29:51.680 --> 00:29:53.640 even though that hasn't been invented yet. 634 00:29:53.880 --> 00:29:57.200 He invented it. Theron invented axe body spray cannon. I 635 00:29:57.240 --> 00:30:00.680 find Dominique West very attractive in most hundred per because 636 00:30:00.680 --> 00:30:03.079 of that devil may care smile and that like kind 637 00:30:03.119 --> 00:30:05.640 of evil glint in his eye. There's something sexy about him. 638 00:30:06.039 --> 00:30:08.720 Not in this I'm like, I genuinely felt bad for him. 639 00:30:08.720 --> 00:30:10.480 I'm like, he must have seen the way he looks 640 00:30:10.519 --> 00:30:12.440 in this movie and been like, WHOA, my. 641 00:30:12.440 --> 00:30:14.759 Career is over. My career is fucking over. 642 00:30:14.880 --> 00:30:17.960 I certainly hope they make a TV show about King 643 00:30:18.079 --> 00:30:20.279 Charles some days that I can play him and revive 644 00:30:20.400 --> 00:30:23.599 my career. What's funny is after this, Dominic West almost 645 00:30:23.640 --> 00:30:26.880 immediately went into like playing American cops in everything. And 646 00:30:27.440 --> 00:30:30.079 I've seen him play an American cop like seventeen times. 647 00:30:30.480 --> 00:30:33.240 All right. So Thearyn is with the messenger, and Theren 648 00:30:33.319 --> 00:30:35.880 is a politician for whom both King Leonidas and Queen 649 00:30:35.880 --> 00:30:39.079 Gorgo seemed to have a distaste. The messenger gives them 650 00:30:39.160 --> 00:30:43.759 his message. He says earth and water, and Gorgo responds, 651 00:30:43.759 --> 00:30:46.200 and the messenger wonders why this woman thinks she should 652 00:30:46.200 --> 00:30:49.640 speak amongst men, and she says, because only Spartan women 653 00:30:49.720 --> 00:30:51.119 give birth to real men. 654 00:30:51.599 --> 00:30:54.240 I do love Lenahiti. I will follow. I will follow 655 00:30:54.240 --> 00:30:56.119 her to the ends of the earth. So I was 656 00:30:56.160 --> 00:31:01.000 so into this. The messenger explains that the god Circes, 657 00:31:01.119 --> 00:31:04.119 who is approaching with a massive army, requires only an 658 00:31:04.160 --> 00:31:08.599 offering of earth and water as a sign of Sparta's submission. 659 00:31:08.680 --> 00:31:12.400 Who's wrong word? Wrong word, man, Leonidas Box. After all, 660 00:31:12.480 --> 00:31:15.640 the quote unquote boy lovers of Athens have already turned 661 00:31:15.680 --> 00:31:19.359 down Xerxes, and he has a reputation to protect. 662 00:31:19.920 --> 00:31:24.880 This movie has an interesting and interesting relationship with homosexuality. 663 00:31:25.160 --> 00:31:26.400 I can't quite get. 664 00:31:26.240 --> 00:31:28.039 My fie, that was a thing happening. 665 00:31:28.160 --> 00:31:30.920 It was a thing. Yeah, it was a thing. I 666 00:31:30.960 --> 00:31:32.680 can't tell. I can't tell. I can't tell. 667 00:31:32.799 --> 00:31:36.559 There's a part later where Michael Fossfender and another dude, I. 668 00:31:36.519 --> 00:31:38.440 Know exactly what you're about to bring up. 669 00:31:38.359 --> 00:31:39.759 I like flirting with each other. 670 00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:40.400 Correct. 671 00:31:40.920 --> 00:31:43.359 I'm like, I think this is real. I think this 672 00:31:43.519 --> 00:31:44.240 is a real thing. 673 00:31:44.519 --> 00:31:45.079 I agree. 674 00:31:45.400 --> 00:31:47.680 I'm confused, and I think that's just those two actors 675 00:31:47.680 --> 00:31:50.279 deciding to make it real. Like that's not on the page. Yeah, 676 00:31:50.319 --> 00:31:52.440 and those two actors are like, how about if instead 677 00:31:52.480 --> 00:31:55.039 of like goading each other with like you're gay, No, 678 00:31:55.160 --> 00:31:57.920 you're gay, we're into it. And they're like, yeah, let's 679 00:31:57.920 --> 00:31:59.440 do that. That sounds more interesting. 680 00:32:00.039 --> 00:32:01.759 Could be our last light night on Earth? Am I 681 00:32:01.839 --> 00:32:03.359 not going to get a blowjob? If I can? 682 00:32:03.759 --> 00:32:07.480 I need? Come on, I'm the flossbender. Yeah, and the 683 00:32:07.559 --> 00:32:09.599 other guy was hot too, anyway, moving on, moving on, 684 00:32:09.920 --> 00:32:12.640 So once again, Athens has already turned down Zerxis. They're 685 00:32:12.640 --> 00:32:16.279 willing to fight to the death. Sparta is certainly going 686 00:32:16.319 --> 00:32:18.920 to do the same. The messenger feels his meeting is 687 00:32:18.960 --> 00:32:21.400 going south, and he warns Leonidas to choose his next 688 00:32:21.400 --> 00:32:24.519 words carefully. Don't fuck with me. I am the messenger 689 00:32:24.599 --> 00:32:28.079 of the god King. Leonidas draws his sword on the messenger, 690 00:32:28.119 --> 00:32:28.880 and the messenger is. 691 00:32:28.799 --> 00:32:34.079 Like, whoa messenger. You're not allowed to kill me. That's 692 00:32:34.160 --> 00:32:37.240 like the rules of the of the world right now. 693 00:32:37.680 --> 00:32:40.960 You never kill messengers, that's the whole thing. Don't kill 694 00:32:40.960 --> 00:32:41.519 the messenger. 695 00:32:41.759 --> 00:32:42.519 Who saying about it? 696 00:32:42.799 --> 00:32:45.359 The messengers like this is madness, and Leonidas roar, is 697 00:32:45.400 --> 00:32:51.880 this is Sparta. This is the commercial of the film. 698 00:32:51.920 --> 00:32:54.559 You have seen this scene even if you've never seen 699 00:32:54.559 --> 00:32:58.559 this movie. Leonidas then kicks the messenger in the Solder 700 00:32:58.559 --> 00:33:02.319 Plexus and hell into like a seemingly bottomless pit that 701 00:33:02.400 --> 00:33:04.759 is just conveniently located outside the city. Yep. 702 00:33:04.960 --> 00:33:06.319 Look, if you have a city and you don't have 703 00:33:06.319 --> 00:33:08.400 a bottomless pit right outside of it to throw insolent 704 00:33:08.400 --> 00:33:10.759 messengers into when they when they when they annoy you, 705 00:33:11.000 --> 00:33:12.240 are you even a city? 706 00:33:12.519 --> 00:33:14.319 Are you even? Yeah? Are you even a civilization? 707 00:33:14.519 --> 00:33:16.319 Yeah? That's what Staten Island is for New York. 708 00:33:16.599 --> 00:33:21.200 Aha, we just kick coming the solar Plexus over there, like, 709 00:33:21.319 --> 00:33:23.079 go enjoy the fucking island. 710 00:33:25.640 --> 00:33:29.599 Leonidas heads to consult with the Ephors, who what's the 711 00:33:29.640 --> 00:33:33.359 Delo tells us in voiceover are quote unquote priests to 712 00:33:33.440 --> 00:33:37.119 the old gods in bread swine, more creature than man. 713 00:33:37.680 --> 00:33:39.400 You can tell that we're not supposed to like these 714 00:33:39.440 --> 00:33:41.920 people because they are. Their faces are all covered with 715 00:33:41.920 --> 00:33:45.160 like oozing pustules and like boils, and they have bad teeth. 716 00:33:45.440 --> 00:33:45.599 Yeah. 717 00:33:45.680 --> 00:33:48.839 The movie posits that they make their lepers into this, 718 00:33:49.000 --> 00:33:51.680 into their their ephors. I looked it up. Ephors are 719 00:33:51.720 --> 00:33:53.519 a real fig They were not lepers, and in fact, 720 00:33:53.559 --> 00:33:56.400 they were pretty pretty well liked Anyway, moving on. 721 00:33:56.559 --> 00:33:59.680 Still, the laws of Sparta demand that Leonidas must go 722 00:33:59.720 --> 00:34:03.559 seek they're blessing before riding to war. The Ephors are 723 00:34:03.599 --> 00:34:06.119 not impressed with his plan to use the Spartans fighting 724 00:34:06.160 --> 00:34:08.119 prowess and the terrain of Greece to take on an 725 00:34:08.239 --> 00:34:11.599 army of millions. And besides, also they say, there's a 726 00:34:11.639 --> 00:34:14.800 festival of Carnea that is approaching and it must be honored. 727 00:34:14.800 --> 00:34:17.239 You must honor the gods and celebrate Karnea A. Spartans 728 00:34:17.280 --> 00:34:19.559 do not wage war during the festival of Karnea. 729 00:34:19.639 --> 00:34:22.320 It's like spring break. It's like, hey, how dare you 730 00:34:22.400 --> 00:34:24.480 give me a reading assignment over spring break? This is 731 00:34:24.519 --> 00:34:25.880 spring break, this is sacred. 732 00:34:26.039 --> 00:34:29.199 It's like Christmas Day on the World War two front. Yeah, 733 00:34:29.280 --> 00:34:29.719 it's true. 734 00:34:29.880 --> 00:34:32.519 We're gonna play soccer in this field at France and 735 00:34:33.079 --> 00:34:39.480 shut up. It's happy, Noel everyone. Leonidas insists that he 736 00:34:39.559 --> 00:34:42.599 will be able to break the Persian assault by stopping 737 00:34:42.599 --> 00:34:46.800 them at a mountain pass called the Hot Gates. Boy, 738 00:34:46.840 --> 00:34:48.639 I wish they've renamed it. Look, none of this is 739 00:34:48.760 --> 00:34:53.000 historically accurate. Anyway, Rename the fucking pass for your movie, 740 00:34:53.159 --> 00:34:54.559 so it's not called the. 741 00:34:54.400 --> 00:34:58.599 Hot Gates because that is apparently what Thermopyli or Thermopylae 742 00:34:58.639 --> 00:35:01.400 translates to that is the trans understood. 743 00:35:01.559 --> 00:35:05.320 Yeah but still yeah, but dumb, dumb, or just have 744 00:35:05.519 --> 00:35:09.400 Gerard Butler say Thermopylae the entire film and the rest 745 00:35:09.400 --> 00:35:11.159 of us will have to deal with it. Because every 746 00:35:11.159 --> 00:35:16.880 time he snarled the words the hot gaze, I had 747 00:35:16.960 --> 00:35:19.679 water come through my nose from snorting so hard. The 748 00:35:19.800 --> 00:35:23.400 ephers say they will consult the oracle. I actually thought 749 00:35:23.400 --> 00:35:25.639 this part was kind of cool. There's like, there's a 750 00:35:25.639 --> 00:35:29.000 shot of this young woman. Oracles are fascinating their teenage 751 00:35:29.039 --> 00:35:32.360 girls who were either drugged out of their minds all 752 00:35:32.400 --> 00:35:35.239 the time and or full fucking con artists who just 753 00:35:35.320 --> 00:35:37.239 told people that they had visions. 754 00:35:37.320 --> 00:35:39.480 We should write the movie of them being con artists. 755 00:35:39.599 --> 00:35:45.159 I absolutely love the idea of the oracles. And so 756 00:35:45.239 --> 00:35:48.000 they show this young woman in like in this in 757 00:35:48.039 --> 00:35:50.920 this world, she's not she's drugged out of her mind, right. 758 00:35:50.960 --> 00:35:53.920 They gave her like the ancient version of peyote, and 759 00:35:53.960 --> 00:35:56.559 we're like, tell us your visions, young lady. And there's 760 00:35:56.559 --> 00:36:00.400 a really beautiful dance scene with this character. It's clearly 761 00:36:00.440 --> 00:36:02.519 they just hired a fantastic dancer. 762 00:36:02.559 --> 00:36:05.000 To play this role. And they also they filmed her underwater. 763 00:36:05.039 --> 00:36:06.280 Apparently that's how they did that. 764 00:36:06.400 --> 00:36:09.599 Can tell her face, you can see the water pressure 765 00:36:09.639 --> 00:36:11.639 on her face. Yeah, this is maybe one of my 766 00:36:11.639 --> 00:36:13.199 favorite moments of the entire movie right now. 767 00:36:13.239 --> 00:36:14.159 It's visually stunning. 768 00:36:14.239 --> 00:36:17.960 It's so visually stunning. So what's the Delio tells us 769 00:36:17.960 --> 00:36:21.599 that even though the Ephors are diseased old mystics, Leonidas 770 00:36:21.679 --> 00:36:24.000 must respect them, for no one in Sparta, not even 771 00:36:24.000 --> 00:36:27.880 the king, is above the law. Remember that this is important. 772 00:36:28.239 --> 00:36:30.800 No one is above the law. And they told him 773 00:36:30.800 --> 00:36:33.679 he can't go to war. So I guess the end 774 00:36:33.679 --> 00:36:36.280 of movie, right, none, Thank you guys, thanks for coming. 775 00:36:36.719 --> 00:36:39.800 The oracle arises and parrots the position of the Ephors, 776 00:36:39.840 --> 00:36:43.800 telling them, telling Leonidas it is it's the carnelia or whatever. 777 00:36:44.119 --> 00:36:47.840 Carnea carnea, and we won't we don't fight during carnea. 778 00:36:47.880 --> 00:36:49.480 That's a that's a true thing. I looked it up. 779 00:36:49.960 --> 00:36:53.239 Leonidas leaves. He is disgusted. He is sure that somehow 780 00:36:53.280 --> 00:36:56.920 the Ephors have tricked the oracle into into giving into 781 00:36:56.920 --> 00:37:00.199 giving him this message. Once he's gone, we see as 782 00:37:00.199 --> 00:37:03.599 your messenger along with Serron. That's Dominic West telling you 783 00:37:03.719 --> 00:37:07.239 ex body spray, ex body spray, telling the Ephors that 784 00:37:07.320 --> 00:37:10.679 they have won the favor of Xerxes. They so now 785 00:37:10.679 --> 00:37:12.840 we know there actually is a conspiracy. 786 00:37:12.880 --> 00:37:16.719 We cut to Leonidas in Gorgo's bedchamber at night. Leonidas 787 00:37:16.760 --> 00:37:20.199 stands nude, staring out at his kingdom. 788 00:37:19.519 --> 00:37:21.639 Not mad at it, No, not mad at it at all. 789 00:37:21.840 --> 00:37:24.519 The queen sleeps in his bed, and the king is 790 00:37:24.559 --> 00:37:27.159 at war within himself. He sits at the bed and 791 00:37:27.199 --> 00:37:29.480 Gorgo wakes as he touches her back, and she says, 792 00:37:30.000 --> 00:37:32.159 your tongue can finish what your fingers started. 793 00:37:32.880 --> 00:37:33.079 Hell. 794 00:37:33.159 --> 00:37:37.639 Yeah. Then she looks at him. She sees he's pensive, right. 795 00:37:37.719 --> 00:37:39.920 She wonders what's bothering him, and he says he doesn't 796 00:37:39.920 --> 00:37:42.440 know what to do. He's a king, but the very 797 00:37:42.519 --> 00:37:44.519 laws that he has sworn to protect tell him to 798 00:37:44.599 --> 00:37:47.480 do nothing, and he fears doing nothing will set Sparta 799 00:37:47.519 --> 00:37:50.079 on a path to destruction. She tells him that he 800 00:37:50.079 --> 00:37:52.559 should not think of what a king should do, he 801 00:37:52.599 --> 00:37:55.639 should think of what a free man should do. And 802 00:37:55.679 --> 00:37:57.599 this is so hot, Erica, they cannot help fo fuck. 803 00:37:57.719 --> 00:38:00.679 I counted at least four different sexual positions in this scene. 804 00:38:00.880 --> 00:38:02.239 Yeah, it's excessive. 805 00:38:02.320 --> 00:38:05.719 I look, I have no problems with sex scenes, but like, 806 00:38:05.800 --> 00:38:07.960 I got uncomfortable watching this one. I was like, can 807 00:38:08.000 --> 00:38:10.840 we you guys, this is going on way too long? 808 00:38:10.920 --> 00:38:11.800 This is a movie? 809 00:38:11.880 --> 00:38:14.280 Is she coming with every thrust? Because I feel like 810 00:38:14.440 --> 00:38:16.719 the movie posit she comes every time he thrusts. 811 00:38:16.920 --> 00:38:20.519 Lena, that's just Lena, Heidi, that's just doing her best. No. 812 00:38:20.719 --> 00:38:23.199 I mean again, this is the movie for teenage boys. 813 00:38:23.320 --> 00:38:26.159 Can we not? Can we just not calm down? Everyone? 814 00:38:26.400 --> 00:38:26.639 Yeah? 815 00:38:26.760 --> 00:38:29.719 The next day, Leonidas inspects the three hundred men that 816 00:38:29.800 --> 00:38:34.679 his captain Artemis played by Vincent Reagan, has gathered. This 817 00:38:34.719 --> 00:38:37.440 includes Dilios, who you've already met as the narrator, but 818 00:38:37.480 --> 00:38:41.719 this time he's got both eyes. Astinos played by Tom Wisdom, 819 00:38:41.719 --> 00:38:46.039 who is Artemis's eldest son. He's in his twenties. Stelios 820 00:38:46.159 --> 00:38:51.840 played by Michael Fossbender. Yay, yay, Astinos best friend and 821 00:38:51.880 --> 00:38:56.280 a true believer in Leonidas and Sparta. These two are lovers. 822 00:38:56.440 --> 00:38:59.800 You cannot tell me they are not lovers. Astinos and Stelios. 823 00:39:00.440 --> 00:39:03.719 I agree, these two, if not actual lovers, are just 824 00:39:03.760 --> 00:39:05.880 deeply in love with each other. We find out in 825 00:39:05.920 --> 00:39:08.760 this scene that, like Artemis, has been told to gather 826 00:39:08.920 --> 00:39:13.400 only men who have sons so that their bloodlines will 827 00:39:13.440 --> 00:39:15.880 carry on. So because they kind of know this is 828 00:39:15.880 --> 00:39:19.320 a suicide mission, so they're like, okay, so we cannot 829 00:39:19.440 --> 00:39:22.760 kill bloodlines with this suicide mission because this is technically 830 00:39:22.800 --> 00:39:24.760 not war. This is a walk. This is just a 831 00:39:24.800 --> 00:39:26.119 walk in the park, is what we're doing. 832 00:39:26.280 --> 00:39:29.639 Yep. Sharron arrives and he's going to chastise Leonidas for 833 00:39:29.719 --> 00:39:32.840 riding to war with a Spartan army against the wishes 834 00:39:32.880 --> 00:39:35.320 of the Ephors, and Leonida says, the army's not riding 835 00:39:35.320 --> 00:39:38.400 to war, just taking a stroll with my personal bodyguard. 836 00:39:38.400 --> 00:39:40.320 We're going to go to the hot gates. There are 837 00:39:40.599 --> 00:39:43.960 brief moments of a sense of humor in this movie 838 00:39:44.719 --> 00:39:48.880 that I desperately wish were multiplied by twenty because because 839 00:39:49.000 --> 00:39:51.800 Gerard Butler, to his credit, lands every joke he has given. 840 00:39:52.320 --> 00:39:55.159 There is a joke coming that I laughed out loud at. 841 00:39:55.400 --> 00:39:57.960 I have seen him be really funny in things. 842 00:39:57.719 --> 00:40:01.679 He can do it. Uh So Gorgo gives Leonidas her 843 00:40:01.679 --> 00:40:03.719 necklace and she tells him to come back with his 844 00:40:03.800 --> 00:40:07.920 shield or on it, which is apparently how these two like. 845 00:40:08.039 --> 00:40:09.960 That's how they say I love you, Like, don't come 846 00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:12.760 back unless you're fucking dead or you've won, Like, do 847 00:40:12.880 --> 00:40:13.719 not fucking retreat. 848 00:40:13.760 --> 00:40:15.639 Well, it's not gonna put that in my wedding vows. 849 00:40:17.119 --> 00:40:18.719 Never retreat, never surrender. 850 00:40:19.039 --> 00:40:22.440 Leonidas heads off the three hundred, and we see a misshapen, 851 00:40:22.559 --> 00:40:25.480 hunchbacked figure watching them from like a like a far 852 00:40:25.519 --> 00:40:26.119 away cliff. 853 00:40:26.519 --> 00:40:28.599 Yes, by the way, there's some erasure in this film. 854 00:40:28.639 --> 00:40:31.639 They had like seven hundred people from another town joined them. 855 00:40:33.119 --> 00:40:36.760 Fair enough, they add one of the like the two 856 00:40:37.360 --> 00:40:39.519 towns that joined them, but like there's another one that 857 00:40:39.599 --> 00:40:43.039 actually like tripled the size of their army, and he 858 00:40:43.280 --> 00:40:44.719 never it's the Thespians. 859 00:40:44.840 --> 00:40:47.079 We know what they think about the Thespians, because. 860 00:40:46.800 --> 00:40:48.800 I would have loved a movie where they where we 861 00:40:48.840 --> 00:40:54.079 would have seen someone go Thespians charge. What if there 862 00:40:54.199 --> 00:40:58.559 was an army of Thespians? What if what if there 863 00:40:58.599 --> 00:41:03.199 was just an army of corus is following Leonidas. 864 00:41:02.519 --> 00:41:05.679 In the background, just tap dancing. 865 00:41:05.840 --> 00:41:09.239 Just doing Grid and Sullivan, four. 866 00:41:09.199 --> 00:41:14.360 Little maids from school? Are we three little maids? Four 867 00:41:14.400 --> 00:41:14.880 little maids? 868 00:41:15.440 --> 00:41:18.039 Just do the tap dance sequence from Anything Goes? 869 00:41:19.480 --> 00:41:22.079 Just performing the entirety of a chorus line switching off 870 00:41:22.119 --> 00:41:28.199 parts tits and yes. 871 00:41:33.280 --> 00:41:38.320 On the march, Leonidas encounters Daxos, played by Andrew Plevian. 872 00:41:38.199 --> 00:41:39.400 Please Levin Pleavin. 873 00:41:40.400 --> 00:41:42.800 He's an Arcadian general. So this is the other this 874 00:41:42.920 --> 00:41:45.519 is this is somewhat true to fact. They were joined 875 00:41:45.519 --> 00:41:49.119 by others, including folks from other folks with the Peloponnesian Peninsula, 876 00:41:49.440 --> 00:41:53.760 the Arcadians. Daxos is there to allie with Leonidas against Xerxes, 877 00:41:53.800 --> 00:41:55.800 but a surprise at how few men are with the king. 878 00:41:55.840 --> 00:41:57.320 They're like, you only have three hundred. I got five 879 00:41:57.400 --> 00:42:00.519 hundred behind me. Leonidas assures him that his three hundred 880 00:42:00.559 --> 00:42:02.920 spartans are worth far more than the legion of men 881 00:42:02.960 --> 00:42:05.639 from Arcadia. There's a scene here where he's like what 882 00:42:05.639 --> 00:42:07.280 do you do? And he's like, I'm a baker, what 883 00:42:07.320 --> 00:42:09.559 do you do? I'm a potter And he's like, what 884 00:42:09.599 --> 00:42:12.159 do you He turns to his men and he's like, Spartans, 885 00:42:12.159 --> 00:42:15.199 what do we do? And they're like soldiers and he's like, 886 00:42:15.239 --> 00:42:17.679 so I brought three hundred soldiers, and you brought the 887 00:42:17.800 --> 00:42:19.119 volunteer fire brigade. 888 00:42:19.159 --> 00:42:22.800 Cool the costume they have put Daxos in it is 889 00:42:23.000 --> 00:42:25.039 it is a diaper right, it is it? 890 00:42:25.239 --> 00:42:31.039 Well, Daxos just came from Vivian Westwood. That's his new fit. 891 00:42:31.519 --> 00:42:32.519 It looks incredible. 892 00:42:32.679 --> 00:42:34.119 I mean he looks hot, don't get me wrong. 893 00:42:34.400 --> 00:42:38.119 Arcadians are dressed like a Vivian Westwood fever dream. 894 00:42:39.639 --> 00:42:41.920 That's very accurate. That is very, very accurate. 895 00:42:41.960 --> 00:42:45.199 They're all wearing harnesses. They look like an Alexander McQueen 896 00:42:45.239 --> 00:42:47.159 collection from like two thousand and six. 897 00:42:47.880 --> 00:42:50.719 So the group continues on their march. They note the 898 00:42:50.760 --> 00:42:54.079 misshapen figure that's following them. They know that figure is there, 899 00:42:54.079 --> 00:42:56.360 but they're not overly concerned about it. And they find 900 00:42:56.360 --> 00:42:59.159 a village raised to the ground by the Persians, and 901 00:42:59.199 --> 00:43:01.880 the villagers have all been murdered and their corps is 902 00:43:01.920 --> 00:43:04.559 speared into the trunk and the limbs of a great tree. 903 00:43:04.760 --> 00:43:08.000 So a point about this movie. It is obviously very violent, 904 00:43:08.360 --> 00:43:12.400 but it's all extremely stylized and it's not particularly gory 905 00:43:13.159 --> 00:43:16.119 like like there's not there's some blood spray or whatever, 906 00:43:16.159 --> 00:43:19.079 but it's it's very very stylized, very comic book. As 907 00:43:19.119 --> 00:43:22.039 someone who's not like violence, I was not like repulsed 908 00:43:22.039 --> 00:43:22.639 by any of this. 909 00:43:23.320 --> 00:43:25.880 That's so interesting because I found it to be very gory, 910 00:43:26.039 --> 00:43:29.880 but like, as someone who does like violence, I was like, yeah, yeah, 911 00:43:30.000 --> 00:43:33.280 Like there's so many close ups of spears dripping blood 912 00:43:33.400 --> 00:43:35.400 in this movie. I was shocked that that's that didn't 913 00:43:35.440 --> 00:43:36.159 ring your bell. 914 00:43:36.519 --> 00:43:38.320 No, because I don't mind is spear dripping blood. I 915 00:43:38.400 --> 00:43:40.519 just don't want to watch the spear like going through 916 00:43:40.559 --> 00:43:43.039 someone's head, which they usually did that a lot, but 917 00:43:43.079 --> 00:43:44.320 it's always in silhouette. 918 00:43:44.400 --> 00:43:46.440 I guess. I, Hey, look, I'm not I'm not. I'm 919 00:43:46.480 --> 00:43:48.519 not mad at it. I think it's fun but like it, 920 00:43:48.719 --> 00:43:50.800 and it is. It is highly stylized, but it is 921 00:43:50.880 --> 00:43:52.400 I find it to be very violent. 922 00:43:52.599 --> 00:43:55.039 I think the stylization is doing the heavy lifting for 923 00:43:55.079 --> 00:43:56.039 making it okay for me. 924 00:43:56.280 --> 00:43:59.320 This tree is like the little gross but like the 925 00:43:59.400 --> 00:44:03.000 literal fan tree. It's just a bunch of people in 926 00:44:03.079 --> 00:44:06.440 tree formation. That is a really striking image. 927 00:44:06.679 --> 00:44:08.360 Yeah, it looks like a comic book. It's one of 928 00:44:08.360 --> 00:44:09.880 the moments in the movie that's really like, I can 929 00:44:09.920 --> 00:44:13.920 see that panel on a comic book page. Daxos, that's 930 00:44:13.920 --> 00:44:17.440 the Arcadian general from the Alexander McQueen show, says that 931 00:44:17.519 --> 00:44:21.559 the Immortals, an infamous Persian regiment, must have done this 932 00:44:21.800 --> 00:44:24.639 and Leonidas says, they will put that name to the test. 933 00:44:25.280 --> 00:44:29.440 Leonidas and company arrive at the Hot Gates, New York's 934 00:44:29.440 --> 00:44:30.760 hottest club is Hot Gates. 935 00:44:30.760 --> 00:44:31.400 Hot Gates. 936 00:44:31.719 --> 00:44:35.440 It's got everything. It's got. It's got men and men 937 00:44:35.519 --> 00:44:39.239 and harnesses, it's got men and diapers. It's got a 938 00:44:39.360 --> 00:44:44.440 family tree made out of an actual family. They watch 939 00:44:44.559 --> 00:44:47.880 and cheer as a giant storm sinks a number of 940 00:44:47.920 --> 00:44:50.159 Persian ships in the A, G and C. So they look, 941 00:44:50.320 --> 00:44:53.039 they look over the sea. They see a thousand ships approaching, 942 00:44:53.599 --> 00:44:57.000 and then it's as though Zeus himself intervened and Posieton 943 00:44:57.079 --> 00:45:02.199 himself intervened to murder of a bunch of Persians. Everyone 944 00:45:02.280 --> 00:45:05.920 is thrilled. Leonidas still looks pensive because he is not 945 00:45:05.960 --> 00:45:07.880 an idiot, and he knows that this is just a 946 00:45:07.920 --> 00:45:09.320 fraction of the Persian army. 947 00:45:09.440 --> 00:45:12.000 We cut back to Sparta the Loyalist. This is the 948 00:45:12.079 --> 00:45:14.920 name that the movie gave this character, the Loyalist, So 949 00:45:15.039 --> 00:45:16.199 in case you're wondering. 950 00:45:15.960 --> 00:45:18.920 He got tired of making up Greeks. 951 00:45:18.760 --> 00:45:20.599 Like we don't have a historical reference for this one. 952 00:45:20.639 --> 00:45:28.559 So the Loyalist m Nicolo ni Alexander like a just like. 953 00:45:28.519 --> 00:45:30.159 A regular Greek name from today. 954 00:45:31.480 --> 00:45:35.320 The Loyalist is played by Stephen mccattie. He calls Gorgo 955 00:45:35.400 --> 00:45:37.400 to the courtyard to speak with her, and he makes 956 00:45:37.400 --> 00:45:38.960 a comment like, it's good for us to speak in 957 00:45:38.960 --> 00:45:41.599 the courtyard and on your bedchamber, because we don't want 958 00:45:41.599 --> 00:45:43.519 any rumors to start about you, like sleeping on me 959 00:45:43.599 --> 00:45:46.679 or whatever. They're concerned that Theron and his allies are 960 00:45:46.719 --> 00:45:50.519 moving against Leonidas. So Gorgo's plot in this movie is 961 00:45:50.519 --> 00:45:53.599 she is constantly trying to get the Council of Sparta 962 00:45:53.639 --> 00:45:56.159 to send reinforcements to the three hundred. 963 00:45:56.480 --> 00:45:56.639 Right. 964 00:45:56.719 --> 00:45:59.400 She wants him to actually activate the real Spartan army, 965 00:45:59.480 --> 00:46:02.360 not just the personal bodyguard quote unquote that Leonidas took, 966 00:46:02.559 --> 00:46:05.119 and send them to the hot Gates to defend against Persia. 967 00:46:06.239 --> 00:46:08.840 The Loyalist says he will gather the council in hopes 968 00:46:08.880 --> 00:46:11.079 of convincing them to send more aid to the three hundred, 969 00:46:11.400 --> 00:46:14.079 and he says, you should speak there, and Gorgo says, 970 00:46:14.079 --> 00:46:15.920 and what I will, and what I'm gonna say is 971 00:46:15.960 --> 00:46:18.159 freedom is not free at all. It comes with the 972 00:46:18.239 --> 00:46:21.880 highest of costs, the cost of blood. That is something 973 00:46:21.920 --> 00:46:23.960 in the movie that I'm like, that's a that's why 974 00:46:24.039 --> 00:46:26.400 we got involved in World War two, right, Like, that's 975 00:46:26.480 --> 00:46:28.239 a message that actually does resonate well. 976 00:46:28.239 --> 00:46:31.440 And also, Lenahiti is so damn good I believe she 977 00:46:31.480 --> 00:46:35.079 can give a rousing speech like that will kickstart an army. 978 00:46:35.400 --> 00:46:38.960 Stelios and Daxos lead a small party to scout ahead 979 00:46:39.199 --> 00:46:41.519 and see the vast Persian army that has set up 980 00:46:41.559 --> 00:46:45.480 camp on the shore, so much like Leonidas figured, the 981 00:46:45.559 --> 00:46:47.880 number that were that perished last night in the sea 982 00:46:47.920 --> 00:46:49.559 were just a small fraction of the army. 983 00:46:49.639 --> 00:46:49.800 Right. 984 00:46:50.519 --> 00:46:53.639 Daxos is shocked that the Persians still have so many 985 00:46:53.679 --> 00:46:56.079 troops left, and Stelios is hopeful that one of them 986 00:46:56.159 --> 00:46:58.719 might be up to the task of giving him a 987 00:46:58.800 --> 00:47:04.920 beautiful death. And Daxos is like, what's that, laughs and says, 988 00:47:05.119 --> 00:47:08.159 that is my dream is to die in battle. That's 989 00:47:08.159 --> 00:47:09.519 how I get off that. 990 00:47:09.519 --> 00:47:11.840 That is what they are brainwashed with from the very 991 00:47:11.920 --> 00:47:14.760 beg from their earliest age in Sparta. The greatest glory 992 00:47:14.800 --> 00:47:16.280 you can have in this life is to die in 993 00:47:16.320 --> 00:47:19.760 the battlefield in service of Sparta, exactly. 994 00:47:19.320 --> 00:47:22.920 Right, And Daxos is like, oh, okay, Well, in Arcadio, 995 00:47:23.000 --> 00:47:29.280 we have books, so we have a different mindset. We 996 00:47:29.320 --> 00:47:31.960 have lives. Wait, what do you do in your spare time? 997 00:47:32.039 --> 00:47:33.239 Do you not have spare time? 998 00:47:33.280 --> 00:47:35.559 Do you not have a Netflix subscription? Stelios? 999 00:47:35.760 --> 00:47:38.000 This is your favorite thing is dining this? 1000 00:47:38.559 --> 00:47:39.039 Yeah? 1001 00:47:39.239 --> 00:47:43.039 Okay, man? Have you tried hand jobs? 1002 00:47:44.880 --> 00:47:47.119 Hand jobs are a hot gate to a great many 1003 00:47:47.159 --> 00:47:49.119 other things that are so fun. 1004 00:47:49.440 --> 00:47:51.880 That's a way better use of your time than dying. 1005 00:47:52.239 --> 00:47:54.679 Have you considered going to your friend Astonos and seeing 1006 00:47:54.679 --> 00:47:57.840 if he wants to don't know, suck your dick on, spitballing? 1007 00:47:57.920 --> 00:48:00.559 Yeah, or just you know. Have you tried swimming in 1008 00:48:00.559 --> 00:48:03.920 the ocean. That's pretty nice, that's nice, nice time time 1009 00:48:04.239 --> 00:48:07.159 do that instead of dying, instead of dreaming of your tests. 1010 00:48:07.199 --> 00:48:08.599 And all of you are like not hung up on 1011 00:48:08.639 --> 00:48:10.800 clothing anyway, so like you can go like skinny dipping 1012 00:48:10.800 --> 00:48:12.400 in the ocean, which feels great, let's be. 1013 00:48:12.360 --> 00:48:16.800 Honest, so good, And a thousand years from now people 1014 00:48:16.840 --> 00:48:18.760 will pay top dollars. 1015 00:48:20.039 --> 00:48:21.840 And they won't be allowed to take their clothes off. 1016 00:48:24.039 --> 00:48:26.159 Can I say out loud? I said out loud while 1017 00:48:26.159 --> 00:48:31.199 watching this movie, I go, I'll give you a beautiful death. Yeah, 1018 00:48:31.239 --> 00:48:33.079 I'll give you a thousand beautiful deaths. 1019 00:48:34.599 --> 00:48:39.239 We cut to a Persian emissary coming across Stelios Daxos 1020 00:48:39.280 --> 00:48:42.639 Ostinos and a small group of men who have reconstructed 1021 00:48:42.760 --> 00:48:45.559 this wall. I'm going to murder this word, the Phocian wall, 1022 00:48:46.559 --> 00:48:48.800 which used to stand. They need to reconstruct it in 1023 00:48:48.920 --> 00:48:51.599 order to force the Persian army through. Say it with 1024 00:48:51.679 --> 00:48:57.679 the erica the hot gates. So they have reconstructed the 1025 00:48:57.719 --> 00:49:01.800 wall and they've used Persian corpses as mortar. This doesn't 1026 00:49:01.960 --> 00:49:03.760 feel to me like they would be could mortar. I 1027 00:49:04.280 --> 00:49:10.280 don't quite grasp the idea behind shoving men underneath stones 1028 00:49:10.280 --> 00:49:11.840 in order to create a more sturdy wall. 1029 00:49:12.039 --> 00:49:16.280 But I think it's psychological warfare, right, Yes, it's it's 1030 00:49:16.400 --> 00:49:18.639 Dracula putting a bunch of people on spikes so that 1031 00:49:18.639 --> 00:49:20.599 the Ottomans are like, what the fuck. 1032 00:49:22.840 --> 00:49:26.519 The emissary is furious, and he reaches back with his 1033 00:49:26.599 --> 00:49:29.440 whip and he's going to crack the whip at the spartans. 1034 00:49:29.920 --> 00:49:35.239 Stelios Michael Fossbender leaps through the air, wearing just his loincloth, 1035 00:49:35.320 --> 00:49:40.239 his muscles rippling slowly, and he severs the emissary's arm. 1036 00:49:40.719 --> 00:49:43.800 It falls to the ground and the emissary shouts, my 1037 00:49:44.000 --> 00:49:46.360 arm and Stelio says it's not yours anymore. 1038 00:49:46.760 --> 00:49:49.480 Ah, are you not entertained? Fault? 1039 00:49:49.599 --> 00:49:51.960 I'm pretty entertained by this part because it's not boring yet. 1040 00:49:52.039 --> 00:49:53.519 We haven't gotten to the boring bart yet. 1041 00:49:53.800 --> 00:49:53.920 Uh. 1042 00:49:54.159 --> 00:49:57.679 Stelios tells the Persians to go back and tell your 1043 00:49:57.719 --> 00:50:01.079 host about what you have encountered here, and Emissary swears 1044 00:50:01.119 --> 00:50:03.880 that all the men here will die and all of 1045 00:50:03.920 --> 00:50:07.679 your people will be enslaved. He says the Persian arrows 1046 00:50:07.719 --> 00:50:11.000 will blot out the sun, and Stelio smiles and says, 1047 00:50:11.280 --> 00:50:16.199 then we will fight in the shade. Excellent, excellent, excellent. 1048 00:50:16.480 --> 00:50:19.239 Who knew Stelios is like the Oscar wild of this contingent? 1049 00:50:19.679 --> 00:50:23.320 Ha. Honestly, they had no idea what they had on 1050 00:50:23.400 --> 00:50:25.599 their hands when they had When we cast Michael Fassbender 1051 00:50:25.639 --> 00:50:27.599 in this role, they were like, he's cute and he 1052 00:50:27.599 --> 00:50:30.800 has a nice smile. I believe him as like a 1053 00:50:30.840 --> 00:50:33.880 devil may care soldier. And then you're like, oh shit, 1054 00:50:34.079 --> 00:50:40.159 we got Michael Vossbender. We cut to Leonidis and Artemis. Artemis, remember, 1055 00:50:40.239 --> 00:50:43.320 is the like captain of the guard, confident that the 1056 00:50:43.360 --> 00:50:47.679 wall is solid. The wall of putrid rotting corpses. 1057 00:50:47.280 --> 00:50:50.400 Is solid to be fair. I would rather just go 1058 00:50:50.480 --> 00:50:52.320 through a hot gate than through a wall of putrid, 1059 00:50:52.400 --> 00:50:55.320 rotting corpses. But I don't think the enslaved Persian army 1060 00:50:55.360 --> 00:50:56.719 had much choice about stuff like that. 1061 00:50:56.800 --> 00:50:59.760 So New York's hottest nightclub is Persian. 1062 00:51:00.960 --> 00:51:05.199 It's got rotted corpses, it's got putrid corpses, it's got it's. 1063 00:51:05.079 --> 00:51:07.719 Got the severed arm of a slave master. 1064 00:51:07.719 --> 00:51:09.800 It's got bloated corpses. 1065 00:51:12.000 --> 00:51:14.599 It's got Michael Fossbender. 1066 00:51:14.480 --> 00:51:19.519 And enough pigeons to eat all of the corpses, not vultures. 1067 00:51:19.000 --> 00:51:24.320 To take out all their eyes. Okay, so Leonidas is like, great, 1068 00:51:24.480 --> 00:51:26.559 the wall is solid. The Persians will now go for 1069 00:51:26.599 --> 00:51:30.119 the hot gates, saying all of this out loud. This 1070 00:51:30.199 --> 00:51:33.480 movie is funnier than I thought. Artimist assures Leonidis there 1071 00:51:33.519 --> 00:51:35.920 is no route through the hills that the Persians can take, 1072 00:51:36.000 --> 00:51:38.480 that that they can use to outflank them. But the 1073 00:51:38.519 --> 00:51:41.360 misshapen man that has been following them around since Sparta 1074 00:51:41.400 --> 00:51:45.079 scuffles forward and says, indeed, there is such a route. 1075 00:51:45.159 --> 00:51:47.840 He is, oh, man, this name, I'm gonna this is 1076 00:51:47.880 --> 00:51:51.039 a real person that really existed, and so they had 1077 00:51:51.039 --> 00:51:53.360 to use his real name. But it is the hardest name. 1078 00:51:53.800 --> 00:52:00.480 F Filates, flats Fields, e Filates, Pilates. 1079 00:52:00.519 --> 00:52:03.400 His name is Pilates Judas Iscariot. 1080 00:52:03.559 --> 00:52:05.679 He's a real person that existed, and so they had 1081 00:52:05.719 --> 00:52:07.960 to use his real goddamn name. But his real goddamn 1082 00:52:08.000 --> 00:52:09.679 name is really hard to say. 1083 00:52:10.679 --> 00:52:13.960 Filtes FTEs, that's it. 1084 00:52:15.440 --> 00:52:22.840 He is e Filts. I'm just gonna call him Spartan Gollum. 1085 00:52:23.159 --> 00:52:26.440 That's his name. He is the He's Gollum of Sparta. 1086 00:52:27.039 --> 00:52:28.360 No notes, no questions. 1087 00:52:28.719 --> 00:52:31.880 This this episode is in the running for the most 1088 00:52:31.960 --> 00:52:34.800 nicknames for characters that we have ever used on this podcast. 1089 00:52:35.840 --> 00:52:39.480 What's the Delio Spartan Gollum, Alexander McQueen model. 1090 00:52:39.440 --> 00:52:44.119 These these fucking names are so hard. So Gollum is 1091 00:52:44.159 --> 00:52:47.719 played by Andrew Tiernan. He wears a Spartan cloak and 1092 00:52:47.840 --> 00:52:51.400 carries his Spartan shield and spear, and he says that 1093 00:52:51.480 --> 00:52:54.360 his parents fled Sparta when he was born to save 1094 00:52:54.440 --> 00:52:57.760 him from the infanticide because he is Misshaven right, He's 1095 00:52:57.760 --> 00:52:58.840 a hunchback. 1096 00:52:58.679 --> 00:53:01.519 To be clear, like this this character, it's a it's 1097 00:53:01.519 --> 00:53:05.360 a comic book representation, so he is deformed in it 1098 00:53:05.440 --> 00:53:09.719 in a in almost like fantastical sense, like he is 1099 00:53:10.159 --> 00:53:13.760 this enormous hunchback. His fingers are extra long. He his 1100 00:53:14.079 --> 00:53:16.519 one eye is bigger than the other, like he he 1101 00:53:16.559 --> 00:53:18.440 looks like a like a fantastical creature. 1102 00:53:18.519 --> 00:53:20.079 Basically genuinely looks like Gollum. 1103 00:53:20.159 --> 00:53:22.639 Ye, Spartan Gollum. Spartan Gollum is very accurate. 1104 00:53:22.800 --> 00:53:25.400 He says, his dream has to be a Spartan warrior 1105 00:53:25.440 --> 00:53:29.000 and restore his father's name right like, because the shame 1106 00:53:29.159 --> 00:53:32.880 of being born misshapen. Yeah again, just move to Arkadia, 1107 00:53:32.960 --> 00:53:35.519 man Like. They may not be much nicer to you, 1108 00:53:35.559 --> 00:53:37.960 but they won't try to kill you. They'll just you know, 1109 00:53:38.239 --> 00:53:40.800 they'll make you into like a baker or whatever. It's fine, 1110 00:53:41.119 --> 00:53:44.440 Leonidas hears him out, and to his credit, he's very 1111 00:53:44.519 --> 00:53:47.480 kind and empathetic to this person. He's not like gross. 1112 00:53:47.559 --> 00:53:51.119 Get away from me, he tells him. Listen. Unfortunately, your 1113 00:53:51.119 --> 00:53:55.280 deformities make you unable to participate because of the Spartan philanx. 1114 00:53:55.559 --> 00:53:58.239 It's like the specialized way that we fight. If there 1115 00:53:58.320 --> 00:54:01.679 is even one weak link, the whole thing collapses and 1116 00:54:01.760 --> 00:54:06.599 you cannot The man physically cannot carry his shield high enough. 1117 00:54:06.960 --> 00:54:09.440 He says, you can still participate, in the battle by 1118 00:54:09.440 --> 00:54:12.440 clearing the dead and bringing water and take carry like 1119 00:54:12.559 --> 00:54:15.400 tending to the wounded. Yeah, which I think is a 1120 00:54:15.440 --> 00:54:16.639 fantastic offer. 1121 00:54:16.880 --> 00:54:19.639 It's a pretty good offer and also like pretty enlightened 1122 00:54:19.639 --> 00:54:22.159 for a Spartan king that was raised in this society 1123 00:54:22.199 --> 00:54:25.880 to be like, you avoided death as a child and 1124 00:54:25.920 --> 00:54:29.400 you've come like it really makes me like Leonidas. It's 1125 00:54:29.440 --> 00:54:32.079 the only like depth of character the movie ever affords 1126 00:54:32.119 --> 00:54:34.280 a single person with this moment with Leonidas where you're like, oh, 1127 00:54:34.320 --> 00:54:36.280 you actually are a thinking human being. 1128 00:54:36.360 --> 00:54:38.880 I disagree. I think there's a few of these in 1129 00:54:38.920 --> 00:54:41.719 the movie, like and some of it too is just 1130 00:54:41.760 --> 00:54:44.800 these actors are incredibly good, but like, yeah, Leonidas is thoughtful, 1131 00:54:45.199 --> 00:54:47.440 Like he thinks ahead, he thought to have men who 1132 00:54:47.559 --> 00:54:51.079 already have sons. I think Gorgo is also quite thoughtful 1133 00:54:51.199 --> 00:54:55.000 and like very smart. It's not all just like chest 1134 00:54:55.119 --> 00:54:58.639 thumping and fighting. It's a lot of that, yeah, but 1135 00:54:58.639 --> 00:55:01.719 it's not all that. It's most but there are these 1136 00:55:01.760 --> 00:55:06.760 moments of like real characterization. So unfortunately, Spartan Gollum does 1137 00:55:06.840 --> 00:55:09.440 not care for this offer. He turns him down and 1138 00:55:09.599 --> 00:55:12.559 he shouts that Leonidas is wrong about him and he'll 1139 00:55:12.559 --> 00:55:16.320 show them I'll show you all before he like scurries away. 1140 00:55:16.559 --> 00:55:20.000 Yep, not Eric, if you'll believe. It's about halfway through 1141 00:55:20.000 --> 00:55:22.159 this movie. So why don't we take a quick commercial 1142 00:55:22.159 --> 00:55:24.199 break here. We'll come right back and we'll get to 1143 00:55:24.239 --> 00:55:24.760 all the fighting. 1144 00:55:25.519 --> 00:55:36.519 Yay, and we're back. 1145 00:55:37.199 --> 00:55:43.400 This is that ish? Well, maybe we should change our 1146 00:55:43.400 --> 00:55:46.519 opening greeting to that try to pull in more heterosexual 1147 00:55:46.519 --> 00:55:50.880 male listeners. Yes, please, by the way, to our current 1148 00:55:50.920 --> 00:55:53.280 heterosexual male listeners, we see you, we love you. 1149 00:55:53.599 --> 00:55:54.360 Thanks for listening. 1150 00:55:54.760 --> 00:55:55.039 Listening. 1151 00:55:57.280 --> 00:56:01.119 So, Leonidas tells Artemis to dispect men to watch the 1152 00:56:01.199 --> 00:56:04.320 path that Spartan Gollum told them about. 1153 00:56:04.400 --> 00:56:04.559 Yep. 1154 00:56:04.599 --> 00:56:08.079 The Spartans then form their their phalanx. I hope I'm 1155 00:56:08.079 --> 00:56:09.079 pronouncing that word correctly. 1156 00:56:09.239 --> 00:56:09.800 I think you're right. 1157 00:56:10.599 --> 00:56:13.000 Hold on, I'm just going to read this the sentence 1158 00:56:13.079 --> 00:56:17.199 exactly as Paul wrote it. Ready. The Spartans then form 1159 00:56:17.280 --> 00:56:20.039 their phalanx at the mouth of the hot gates as 1160 00:56:20.119 --> 00:56:25.679 the as the first wave of Persian soldiers approach. What 1161 00:56:25.719 --> 00:56:28.719 the fuck is this movie? 1162 00:56:28.800 --> 00:56:30.760 We are now entering the part where Paul starts to 1163 00:56:30.760 --> 00:56:33.159 lose interest and he starts to allide like five minute 1164 00:56:33.159 --> 00:56:34.440 sequences into a sentence. 1165 00:56:34.840 --> 00:56:37.599 They form a failanx at the mouth of the hot gates. 1166 00:56:37.880 --> 00:56:40.760 That yeah, that is illegal in a lot of states. 1167 00:56:41.000 --> 00:56:42.280 It is called a dental damn. 1168 00:56:44.880 --> 00:56:48.519 Hundreds of Persians charge at the phalanx. But for those 1169 00:56:48.519 --> 00:56:50.159 of you who don't know what the hell of phalanx is. 1170 00:56:50.400 --> 00:56:53.840 Long story short, all the Spartans gather underneath their shields 1171 00:56:53.840 --> 00:56:56.800 to form They look like an enormous turtle. Yep, like 1172 00:56:56.840 --> 00:56:59.039 a giant human turtle. 1173 00:56:59.280 --> 00:57:01.440 Urdle the turtle urdle the turtle. 1174 00:57:01.519 --> 00:57:06.000 Kind of like slowly moving forward. It's honestly, the Romans 1175 00:57:06.079 --> 00:57:08.639 later did this as well, so you've definitely seen this 1176 00:57:08.719 --> 00:57:11.199 in any movie that had like an ancient fighting scene. 1177 00:57:11.440 --> 00:57:14.679 The Persians charge, but break against the strength of the 1178 00:57:14.719 --> 00:57:17.199 Spartan defenses, Like the Spartans are just so good at 1179 00:57:17.239 --> 00:57:19.880 pushing back and pushing back and pushing back, and they 1180 00:57:19.920 --> 00:57:22.920 eventually are pushed back so far that the Spartans literally 1181 00:57:22.960 --> 00:57:24.239 pushed them all off a cliff. 1182 00:57:24.519 --> 00:57:27.840 The Spartans rejoice briefly, but then they see the promised 1183 00:57:27.840 --> 00:57:31.239 hail of arrows blot out the sun. They all duck 1184 00:57:31.280 --> 00:57:34.519 behind their shields and laugh at the Persian coward shooting 1185 00:57:34.559 --> 00:57:38.480 at them from a distance. Another wave of Persians approaches 1186 00:57:38.519 --> 00:57:43.880 and Leonida says today no Spartan dies, and the Spartans 1187 00:57:43.920 --> 00:57:47.119 continue to slaughter the invading force. This is now ten 1188 00:57:47.159 --> 00:57:49.880 minutes of movie. That's all of this goes on for 1189 00:57:49.920 --> 00:57:51.800 so long, so long. 1190 00:57:52.199 --> 00:57:54.280 In case you're wondering, what do the Persians look like, 1191 00:57:54.320 --> 00:57:56.320 they have a few types of fighters. It's not just 1192 00:57:56.360 --> 00:57:59.400 one type of fighter, because remember the Persian Empire spanned 1193 00:57:59.400 --> 00:58:02.199 it most of Asia at this point in parts of Africa. 1194 00:58:02.320 --> 00:58:05.239 So you had you know, you had the Lawrence of Arabias. Yep, 1195 00:58:05.519 --> 00:58:06.719 you had the belly dancers. 1196 00:58:06.800 --> 00:58:09.920 You sure do you have the Chinese mystics, Yeah, the mystics. 1197 00:58:09.960 --> 00:58:11.840 You have the Chinese mystics. Eventually you're gonna have the 1198 00:58:11.920 --> 00:58:13.679 drama masks. You haven't shown up yet. 1199 00:58:13.800 --> 00:58:17.320 These are like gangs from the warriors. 1200 00:58:18.320 --> 00:58:21.519 Yeah, the Lawrence of Arabia's made me laugh every time 1201 00:58:21.519 --> 00:58:26.960 they showed up. Meanwhile, back in Sparta, Gorgo receives word 1202 00:58:27.039 --> 00:58:29.400 from the loyalists the person they didn't bother the name 1203 00:58:29.920 --> 00:58:32.239 as he's managed to get to just name him some 1204 00:58:32.440 --> 00:58:35.480 like random Greek name with I'm going to give him 1205 00:58:35.480 --> 00:58:40.320 a name right here, you go. Argos, the loyalist Theos 1206 00:58:40.400 --> 00:58:44.239 the loyalist. The loyalist has managed to get Gorgo, the 1207 00:58:44.400 --> 00:58:48.440 Queen of Sparta, a chance to address the council in 1208 00:58:48.519 --> 00:58:50.159 two days now. 1209 00:58:50.199 --> 00:58:52.800 Can I ask a question in your research, were you 1210 00:58:52.840 --> 00:58:55.239 able to figure out what the government of Sparta like? 1211 00:58:55.280 --> 00:58:57.119 Were the king and queen kind of ceremonial? 1212 00:58:57.519 --> 00:59:00.679 Actually, you know, this is interesting. Spartan's had two kings 1213 00:59:00.719 --> 00:59:03.159 at a time. They all came from like the same 1214 00:59:03.199 --> 00:59:05.320 family lines, and there was one that was a more 1215 00:59:05.360 --> 00:59:08.400 senior and the one that was more junior, and so 1216 00:59:08.480 --> 00:59:10.199 for for a lot of their history. I think by 1217 00:59:10.239 --> 00:59:12.280 the time of Leonidis it was now down to a 1218 00:59:12.280 --> 00:59:15.519 one king sort of situation. But for a long time 1219 00:59:15.559 --> 00:59:19.280 it was actually two kings at a time, and the 1220 00:59:19.480 --> 00:59:22.599 council was created because they were often at war for 1221 00:59:22.639 --> 00:59:24.039 so long and the king had to go to the 1222 00:59:24.079 --> 00:59:26.880 war that there was like a group of elders that 1223 00:59:26.920 --> 00:59:30.840 were kept behind to manage things while they were gone. 1224 00:59:30.920 --> 00:59:33.440 This is all, by the way Wikipedia research. So take 1225 00:59:33.440 --> 00:59:38.559 everything I've just said, grit Assault. I am not an 1226 00:59:38.760 --> 00:59:41.320 ancient history buff. I know someone who was up till 1227 00:59:41.320 --> 00:59:45.920 one thirty last night watching like looking at Wikipedia. Gorgo 1228 00:59:46.039 --> 00:59:48.679 is concerned that in two days, they're all already going 1229 00:59:48.719 --> 00:59:50.119 to be dead and it's going to be too late. 1230 00:59:50.119 --> 00:59:52.000 And the loyalist tells her, no, no, this is a 1231 00:59:52.039 --> 00:59:54.320 great this is a good thing. Use this time to 1232 00:59:54.360 --> 00:59:56.400 get there on on your side. You know that he's 1233 00:59:56.440 --> 00:59:59.119 going to be your biggest problem in the council, so 1234 00:59:59.440 --> 01:00:02.000 try to get at him to see your point of view, 1235 01:00:02.119 --> 01:00:05.159 and if the two of you work together, you're guaranteed 1236 01:00:05.159 --> 01:00:08.880 to win. Meanwhile, back on the battlefield, Leonidas is eating 1237 01:00:08.880 --> 01:00:10.599 an apple. They brought food. 1238 01:00:10.960 --> 01:00:11.639 They brought food. 1239 01:00:12.000 --> 01:00:14.960 None of these men have pockets. I know that because 1240 01:00:15.000 --> 01:00:20.000 I can see everything. Who brought food? Is it the Arcadians? 1241 01:00:20.039 --> 01:00:21.920 Is there one Arcadian in the back who brought like 1242 01:00:21.960 --> 01:00:23.360 a covered wagon full of food. 1243 01:00:23.599 --> 01:00:27.920 There's one Arcadians who's in charge of mess. 1244 01:00:27.960 --> 01:00:29.960 Like the Spartans didn't think of that. They're like, oh, 1245 01:00:30.119 --> 01:00:32.239 we only have soldiers. Do you have food? Can we 1246 01:00:32.280 --> 01:00:35.480 have some food? He's eating an apple. He's looking over 1247 01:00:35.519 --> 01:00:39.639 the battlefield. There's there's half dead Persian soldiers everywhere, and 1248 01:00:39.679 --> 01:00:42.400 his men go around finishing off all of the living enemies. 1249 01:00:42.480 --> 01:00:44.199 There's a moment in this scene where one of the 1250 01:00:44.239 --> 01:00:47.239 extras doesn't realize I think he's on camera. He's like 1251 01:00:47.239 --> 01:00:49.679 supposed to be a half dead Persian soldier and he's 1252 01:00:49.760 --> 01:00:52.480 just like like moving around like a normal guy. But 1253 01:00:54.440 --> 01:00:56.800 he's just like he like sits up and then he's like, 1254 01:00:56.840 --> 01:00:58.159 oh shit, and he goes right back down. 1255 01:00:58.800 --> 01:00:59.440 I missed it. 1256 01:01:01.400 --> 01:01:04.840 Stelios hot. Stelios runs up to report that a Persian 1257 01:01:04.840 --> 01:01:07.559 contingent is approaching, but it's too small to be an attack. 1258 01:01:07.599 --> 01:01:11.880 It must be another messenger of sorts. Leonidas heads out 1259 01:01:11.880 --> 01:01:15.239 to meet them. Artemis protests, but Leonida says, it would 1260 01:01:15.280 --> 01:01:18.039 be lucky if you were assassinated. If they kill me 1261 01:01:18.360 --> 01:01:21.800 in this manner, in a cowardly manner, that will force 1262 01:01:22.119 --> 01:01:24.360 the Spartan army to come out and finish this fight. 1263 01:01:24.440 --> 01:01:27.320 So like we'll be lucky. Like best case scenario, I'm 1264 01:01:27.320 --> 01:01:30.519 assassinated and now we win the war. Worst case scenario, 1265 01:01:30.519 --> 01:01:32.760 I have to hear what these Jubbronis have to say. 1266 01:01:33.000 --> 01:01:40.320 So Leonidas goes to meet with the contingent. Okay, a 1267 01:01:40.480 --> 01:01:45.400 band of slaves I presume carries an enormous platform on 1268 01:01:45.519 --> 01:01:49.159 their back as they walk forward. The platform looks to 1269 01:01:49.199 --> 01:01:53.440 be made of gold, with statues of lions and antelopes 1270 01:01:53.480 --> 01:01:57.960 adorning a grand staircase that leads up to this platform, 1271 01:01:58.559 --> 01:02:04.719 upon which stands the odd king Xerxes Rodrigo Santoro, who 1272 01:02:04.760 --> 01:02:11.800 looks like Poseidon's favorite boy toy, essentially a He wears 1273 01:02:12.159 --> 01:02:17.360 only a golden speedo, yes, but is adorned with chokers, 1274 01:02:17.840 --> 01:02:22.159 draped with jewelry, has hoops piercing his ears and cheeks, 1275 01:02:22.360 --> 01:02:26.679 and painted on eyebrows. He he looks. He looks like 1276 01:02:26.679 --> 01:02:29.920 whatever Jerry Folwell thinks of when someone says the words 1277 01:02:29.920 --> 01:02:32.559 Broadway musical, Like that is what Jerry follwell. 1278 01:02:33.159 --> 01:02:35.119 He's also kind of dusted with gold. 1279 01:02:35.400 --> 01:02:37.719 Yes, he looks like he's been dipped in gold. He looks, 1280 01:02:38.079 --> 01:02:42.320 he looks like, he looks like the head waiter at 1281 01:02:42.360 --> 01:02:44.880 Carson Kresley's pool party for Fourth of July. 1282 01:02:45.880 --> 01:02:49.199 He looks like boy George after a weekend in Mikonos. 1283 01:02:53.280 --> 01:02:56.199 He looks like Elton John's sleep paralysis demon. 1284 01:03:00.400 --> 01:03:02.840 He looks like a gold dildo that came to life 1285 01:03:02.880 --> 01:03:03.480 and became a. 1286 01:03:03.440 --> 01:03:10.719 Real boy Pokenocchio. Nice, thank you, thank you all right. 1287 01:03:10.880 --> 01:03:13.880 So he is also for some reason, a giant. He 1288 01:03:14.119 --> 01:03:17.719 towers over Leonidas. He's literally like nine feet tall or 1289 01:03:17.760 --> 01:03:19.800 doing like the thing they did in the Lord of 1290 01:03:19.840 --> 01:03:22.480 the Rings movies with with the aspect ratio or whatever 1291 01:03:22.519 --> 01:03:26.639 it's called perspective. Yeah shift. Xerxes, who is fully convinced 1292 01:03:26.679 --> 01:03:29.840 of his own divinity, to be clear, tries to cajole 1293 01:03:30.239 --> 01:03:34.000 Coerce and ultimately intimidate Leonidas into bowing down to him. 1294 01:03:34.360 --> 01:03:38.679 When Leonidas refuses, Xerxes swears that he will burn everything 1295 01:03:38.719 --> 01:03:41.320 to the ground and the world will not know that 1296 01:03:41.440 --> 01:03:46.320 Leonidas even existed. They lowered Rodrigo Santoro's voice in Post 1297 01:03:46.440 --> 01:03:49.320 like a full octave, so everything he says sounds like 1298 01:03:49.360 --> 01:03:52.639 it's coming through like a megaphone tube. Yeah, very weird. 1299 01:03:52.840 --> 01:03:56.320 It's also it's a very American accent. He's you hear 1300 01:03:56.440 --> 01:03:58.599 a little bit of resilient in there as well. I'm like, 1301 01:03:58.639 --> 01:04:01.519 I'm curious what his speaking says because he barely speaks 1302 01:04:01.559 --> 01:04:03.719 in love. Actually, it's which is the only other movie 1303 01:04:03.719 --> 01:04:04.719 I've ever seen this guy in. 1304 01:04:04.880 --> 01:04:06.559 Yeah, by the way, if you don't know who Rodrigo 1305 01:04:06.639 --> 01:04:09.840 Santoro is, he's the guy that Laura Lenny doesn't fucking love. Actually, 1306 01:04:09.880 --> 01:04:11.199 that's the guy we're talking about. 1307 01:04:12.119 --> 01:04:16.000 Ah, he's so hot in this though. I love him. 1308 01:04:16.119 --> 01:04:19.639 This Uh, Leonidas responds to the god king that the 1309 01:04:19.679 --> 01:04:22.840 world will know that free men stood against a tyrant, 1310 01:04:23.199 --> 01:04:26.719 that few stood against many, and before this battle was 1311 01:04:26.760 --> 01:04:31.239 over that even a god king can bleed, and also, 1312 01:04:31.360 --> 01:04:33.840 why do you look like Liberachi's pool boy? 1313 01:04:34.599 --> 01:04:40.320 Ha. They do sort of hit on something interesting in 1314 01:04:40.320 --> 01:04:43.280 the movie that like, the Persian army is mostly manned 1315 01:04:43.360 --> 01:04:47.599 by slaves and other by other cultures that they have dominated, 1316 01:04:47.880 --> 01:04:52.320 whereas that Spartans, for better or worse right are born 1317 01:04:52.360 --> 01:04:55.119 into Spartan society and get to do get to do 1318 01:04:55.159 --> 01:04:57.800 the one thing Spartans do. So it's a free how 1319 01:04:57.880 --> 01:05:00.880 quote unquote free these people are either. But that's that's 1320 01:05:00.920 --> 01:05:03.960 sort of the idea of why this movie I think 1321 01:05:04.440 --> 01:05:08.760 things It thinks it's okay to villainize the Persians in 1322 01:05:08.800 --> 01:05:12.320 this way is because ostensibly the people who are fighting 1323 01:05:12.320 --> 01:05:16.119 and dying for them are slaves, right, But if you 1324 01:05:16.199 --> 01:05:19.360 scratch that surface, even a touch, it's also it's still 1325 01:05:19.360 --> 01:05:22.280 a really bad look because it means that like, a, 1326 01:05:22.280 --> 01:05:25.440 all the people who are getting disemboweled and beheaded violently 1327 01:05:25.480 --> 01:05:27.280 in the course of this movie are people of color, 1328 01:05:27.719 --> 01:05:32.440 and b like they're fucking slaves. Again, it's a historical epic. 1329 01:05:32.920 --> 01:05:35.880 This really in some small way happened, Like not really, 1330 01:05:35.920 --> 01:05:38.679 but in a small way happened. So I get like 1331 01:05:38.719 --> 01:05:40.920 they're a little hamstrung in that regard. They can't there's 1332 01:05:40.920 --> 01:05:43.360 no like, there's no moment where Leonidas turns to the 1333 01:05:43.440 --> 01:05:45.760 slaves and is like fight with us instead, and the 1334 01:05:45.800 --> 01:05:49.719 slaves are like, yeah, that's not gonna happen. But like 1335 01:05:49.920 --> 01:05:53.079 they didn't care so much about historical accuracy anyways, I 1336 01:05:53.079 --> 01:05:55.639 don't know why they're hitting this the nail so hard 1337 01:05:55.679 --> 01:05:59.360 on the head. Yeah, this point we cut to Stelios 1338 01:05:59.400 --> 01:06:03.000 and askting flirting broing out do I mean it is 1339 01:06:03.000 --> 01:06:04.079 my favorite scene in the movie. 1340 01:06:04.119 --> 01:06:06.199 Exchanges basically, oh were you too tired to watch my 1341 01:06:06.280 --> 01:06:08.840 back And the other guy's like, no, I was all fighting. 1342 01:06:08.880 --> 01:06:10.559 And the first one is like you were more likely 1343 01:06:10.559 --> 01:06:12.519 getting fucked by a bunch of actors. The other guy's 1344 01:06:12.519 --> 01:06:13.320 like jealous much. 1345 01:06:14.679 --> 01:06:17.559 No. The line is because I wrote it down offering 1346 01:06:17.599 --> 01:06:21.599 your backside to Thespians. But I don't think it's actors. 1347 01:06:21.599 --> 01:06:26.039 I think it's the town. Yeah regard so I but again, 1348 01:06:26.480 --> 01:06:28.719 would an audience in two thousand and seven know that 1349 01:06:28.719 --> 01:06:30.199 that's a town and not actors? 1350 01:06:30.639 --> 01:06:31.239 I don't think so. 1351 01:06:32.320 --> 01:06:34.079 Yeah, you're right. I think you were right that you're 1352 01:06:34.079 --> 01:06:37.760 doing like a joke there. Yeah, somebody's got to watch 1353 01:06:37.800 --> 01:06:39.280 your back. Not now, I'm busy. 1354 01:06:39.400 --> 01:06:43.639 I mean, kiss, kick kids, Kiss. 1355 01:06:44.000 --> 01:06:47.039 We have more battles. Black blank, big blam boom. Battles 1356 01:06:47.079 --> 01:06:49.280 are happening. The immortals show up. They're the ones that 1357 01:06:49.320 --> 01:06:50.800 look like they're wearing drama masks. 1358 01:06:50.960 --> 01:06:51.119 Yeah. 1359 01:06:51.360 --> 01:06:55.639 They the immortals are xerxes personal guard, and they are 1360 01:06:55.840 --> 01:06:58.679 supposed to be like the most fearsome warriors in all 1361 01:06:58.719 --> 01:07:01.519 the land. At one point, someone's mask is knocked off 1362 01:07:01.519 --> 01:07:04.480 and there were revealed to be actual demons behind the masks. 1363 01:07:04.480 --> 01:07:06.519 So these are like not even humans. These are like, 1364 01:07:07.119 --> 01:07:10.119 these are demonoid humanoid things. 1365 01:07:10.400 --> 01:07:12.559 Now is that a problem when we're talking about historically 1366 01:07:12.559 --> 01:07:13.400 people who are humans. 1367 01:07:13.559 --> 01:07:14.880 No, No, this is historically accurate. 1368 01:07:15.079 --> 01:07:17.559 Okay, I found the Wikipedia. 1369 01:07:18.000 --> 01:07:21.960 I'm pretty sure it's accurate. No. Yeah, obviously this is 1370 01:07:21.960 --> 01:07:25.280 not a good look for the film either. Their Onslaught 1371 01:07:25.320 --> 01:07:28.800 includes a giant, a literal giant, who nearly gets the 1372 01:07:28.840 --> 01:07:31.519 better of Leonidas in single combat. He gives him that 1373 01:07:32.079 --> 01:07:34.400 sexy scar that Gerard Butler has the rest of his face. 1374 01:07:34.480 --> 01:07:37.639 The rest of the movie on his face. The Spartans 1375 01:07:37.679 --> 01:07:40.400 call for their allies, the Arcadians. Remember the Arcadians, the 1376 01:07:40.440 --> 01:07:41.480 Alexander mcqueens. 1377 01:07:41.559 --> 01:07:43.239 Yep, the Arcadians joined. 1378 01:07:43.000 --> 01:07:46.239 The fight and they managed to beat back the immortal assault. 1379 01:07:46.440 --> 01:07:49.559 Right of the immortals. What's the Delio tells us in 1380 01:07:49.639 --> 01:07:53.559 voiceover that a man who fancies himself a god feels 1381 01:07:53.599 --> 01:07:57.079 a very human chill crawl up his spine when he 1382 01:07:57.119 --> 01:08:00.000 sees like how quickly his forces are being eliminated. 1383 01:08:00.480 --> 01:08:03.760 Yeah, the Spartans celebrate that night, and what's the de 1384 01:08:03.920 --> 01:08:07.000 Leo tells us that even Leonidas allowed himself to feel 1385 01:08:07.000 --> 01:08:11.000 hope that maybe they could win. Dawn breaks and Erica. 1386 01:08:11.000 --> 01:08:12.159 Would you believe there's more fighting? 1387 01:08:12.239 --> 01:08:13.920 What I thought this was over? 1388 01:08:14.239 --> 01:08:19.439 No, Astinos, that's that's Magneto's boyfriend. Astinos manages to throw 1389 01:08:19.479 --> 01:08:22.119 a spear through a war rhinos eye from one hundred 1390 01:08:22.199 --> 01:08:24.520 yards away. Yes, I said war rhino. No, I am 1391 01:08:24.560 --> 01:08:26.600 not pausing to further explain that that is what it is. 1392 01:08:26.640 --> 01:08:27.359 It's a war rhino. 1393 01:08:27.520 --> 01:08:29.359 It was pretty fun. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna lie. 1394 01:08:29.359 --> 01:08:31.439 When they brought in animals, I was like, yeah, Also, 1395 01:08:31.479 --> 01:08:35.119 these are so clearly fake animal. Yet I was never 1396 01:08:35.199 --> 01:08:37.960 in any moment being like, oh that poor rhino. 1397 01:08:38.319 --> 01:08:39.600 They're all cgi. 1398 01:08:39.319 --> 01:08:41.079 You're all massively cgi'ed. 1399 01:08:41.479 --> 01:08:44.560 Yeah. The Persians turned to quote unquote magic, which seems 1400 01:08:44.560 --> 01:08:46.680 to be more just like gunpowder. It's like grenades. That's 1401 01:08:46.680 --> 01:08:50.520 not breaking the Spartans. The Spartans drive the Persian war 1402 01:08:50.560 --> 01:08:53.039 elephants off of a cliff. Again, war elephants. I'm not 1403 01:08:53.359 --> 01:08:57.199 I'm not dwelling on it safe. In his camp, Xerxes 1404 01:08:57.600 --> 01:09:03.239 looking like looking like looking like Sonny von Buloh's interior designer. 1405 01:09:03.399 --> 01:09:07.680 Ha ha, looking like the job of the Hut's Palace DJ. 1406 01:09:10.520 --> 01:09:14.119 Xerxes rages and executes his generals who have failed him. 1407 01:09:14.359 --> 01:09:18.159 The executioner in the Persian camp is another giant who 1408 01:09:18.199 --> 01:09:22.359 appears to, rather than have arms, have enormous like crab 1409 01:09:22.520 --> 01:09:26.479 like mandibles that he uses to behead the generals at 1410 01:09:26.560 --> 01:09:27.439 xerxes command. 1411 01:09:27.600 --> 01:09:29.960 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah. 1412 01:09:29.960 --> 01:09:30.279 The movie. 1413 01:09:30.399 --> 01:09:33.640 The movie gets weird, gets fucking weird. 1414 01:09:34.039 --> 01:09:37.880 Still, the Spartans take some losses as well as Astinos 1415 01:09:38.000 --> 01:09:40.680 takes a little too much time posing and gets beheaded 1416 01:09:40.720 --> 01:09:47.960 by a Persian riding by on horseback. No, no, his 1417 01:09:48.000 --> 01:09:51.119 father Artemis goes into a berserker rage, and what's the 1418 01:09:51.199 --> 01:09:54.199 Delio tells us that his cries of rage are more 1419 01:09:54.279 --> 01:09:57.199 frightening to the enemy than any battle drums, as he's 1420 01:09:57.560 --> 01:10:01.600 cutting through enemies, slaughtering persons left and right. I mean, 1421 01:10:01.680 --> 01:10:04.119 isn't this, like, though, like the greatest thing that could 1422 01:10:04.119 --> 01:10:04.880 have happened to his son? 1423 01:10:05.479 --> 01:10:08.359 Yeah? I know, right, Like he's so lucky he got 1424 01:10:08.359 --> 01:10:09.319 to die in battle. 1425 01:10:09.439 --> 01:10:12.720 He got a spectacular death, right, spectacular death. 1426 01:10:13.439 --> 01:10:16.239 Honestly, Like, don't put your son in the battle, if 1427 01:10:16.279 --> 01:10:18.239 you know, if you can't afford to lose him, right, 1428 01:10:18.520 --> 01:10:21.479 just saying, yeah, should we talk about Artemis's haircut for 1429 01:10:21.479 --> 01:10:22.079 a minute. 1430 01:10:23.800 --> 01:10:26.039 You mean you mean the cut It kind of looks 1431 01:10:26.079 --> 01:10:28.640 like it's a little bit Ali Sheety in the Breakfast Club, Right, 1432 01:10:29.039 --> 01:10:29.439 it's a. 1433 01:10:29.600 --> 01:10:32.439 It's a Christian whig character, Yes, I get you right, 1434 01:10:33.199 --> 01:10:36.600 he is full Christian wig character in this haircut. And 1435 01:10:36.680 --> 01:10:39.039 it is such an attractive man. I feel like they've 1436 01:10:39.039 --> 01:10:40.359 done him dirty. 1437 01:10:40.640 --> 01:10:41.640 Yeah, he's older. 1438 01:10:41.680 --> 01:10:44.560 He's like probably the oldest of the Spartans, which again 1439 01:10:45.199 --> 01:10:48.760 like at the actor, I mean, which again like still 1440 01:10:48.800 --> 01:10:50.880 has that fucking body, well done useder. 1441 01:10:51.039 --> 01:10:53.119 He's probably like our age now and I am not 1442 01:10:53.199 --> 01:10:55.520 going through an eight week training regimen. I would break. 1443 01:10:55.760 --> 01:10:57.399 I would break like a china egg. 1444 01:10:59.800 --> 01:11:02.920 Like, yes, Gerard Butler's probably like actually thirty thirty five 1445 01:11:03.000 --> 01:11:05.079 maybe when he made this movie. I don't know. This 1446 01:11:05.119 --> 01:11:07.720 guy is, yeah, he's easily forty five fifty and he 1447 01:11:07.760 --> 01:11:10.319 looks so buff, but they have saddled him with the 1448 01:11:10.439 --> 01:11:14.079 dumbest like teenage girl haircott. 1449 01:11:14.720 --> 01:11:20.399 You know what it is. It's it's it's Peppermint Patty. 1450 01:11:23.399 --> 01:11:25.119 Artemis is Peppermint Patty. 1451 01:11:25.760 --> 01:11:29.239 Okay, so Peppermint Patty is Magneto's boyfriend's father. 1452 01:11:29.920 --> 01:11:33.600 Yes, are you with us? Moving on, we cut to 1453 01:11:33.640 --> 01:11:37.319 the Persian camp full of women performing for the pleasure 1454 01:11:37.399 --> 01:11:40.399 of men. It is an orgy. Whoa, we're in the 1455 01:11:40.439 --> 01:11:44.760 ancient world. We're gonna have some orgies. Woooo and who 1456 01:11:44.760 --> 01:11:49.720 should be there amongst the Orgians but Spartan Gollum, and 1457 01:11:49.760 --> 01:11:53.159 he is speaking with Xerxes, and Xerxes basically is like, 1458 01:11:53.640 --> 01:11:56.399 how would you like to participate in the orgy? And 1459 01:11:56.520 --> 01:11:59.479 Spartan Gollum is like, I will tell you literally anything 1460 01:11:59.560 --> 01:12:04.039 you want. I will sell out my homeland so fast. Yeah, 1461 01:12:04.079 --> 01:12:09.399 if even one of these women touches my Penis. Yeah, 1462 01:12:09.680 --> 01:12:12.479 he gets the most half assed lap dance. It's general. 1463 01:12:12.560 --> 01:12:14.479 It's literally just a bunch of women like kind of 1464 01:12:14.520 --> 01:12:15.800 grinding in his direction. 1465 01:12:16.039 --> 01:12:19.079 It's really more of a hunch dance than a lap dance. 1466 01:12:19.199 --> 01:12:21.880 It's not actually touching him. They're just like they're just 1467 01:12:21.920 --> 01:12:26.319 like grinding the air around him. And he's like, sold, sold, sold, 1468 01:12:26.479 --> 01:12:28.760 I will sell out my entire country. 1469 01:12:28.399 --> 01:12:31.680 For this, to be fair, the only reason he's alive 1470 01:12:31.760 --> 01:12:33.439 is because he fled his country. I don't know how 1471 01:12:33.520 --> 01:12:36.279 much loyalty he owes to Sparta, he owes. 1472 01:12:36.039 --> 01:12:41.680 The Spartans loyalty. Now, you're absolutely right. Also, you know what, 1473 01:12:42.000 --> 01:12:44.960 things go south enough here? You offer me one orgy, 1474 01:12:45.000 --> 01:12:47.319 I might, I might bounce, I might be like, you 1475 01:12:47.319 --> 01:12:50.840 know what guys moving. Yeah, Xerxes is like, if you 1476 01:12:50.960 --> 01:12:53.960 show me the path to defeat the Spartan defenses, I 1477 01:12:54.000 --> 01:12:58.000 will give everything. I will give you everything you've ever wanted, wealth, women, 1478 01:12:58.399 --> 01:13:03.399 And then Galam is like I want that and a uniform. 1479 01:13:03.720 --> 01:13:05.640 I want to be part of the army, even in 1480 01:13:05.680 --> 01:13:10.800 an unofficial capacity. And Xerxes is like, well that was easy. Sure, 1481 01:13:11.079 --> 01:13:12.600 Someone get this man a dumb hat. 1482 01:13:12.960 --> 01:13:17.720 Yeah, do we have a small do you have a 1483 01:13:17.720 --> 01:13:18.600 small uniform. 1484 01:13:18.880 --> 01:13:21.600 Do we have any dumb hats available for this man 1485 01:13:21.680 --> 01:13:23.560 to put on his head so he feels like a man. 1486 01:13:23.880 --> 01:13:26.159 Don't okay, kill that enslaved man and take his give 1487 01:13:26.199 --> 01:13:26.479 it to him. 1488 01:13:26.560 --> 01:13:28.640 Honestly, the women in the orgy were like, phew, all 1489 01:13:28.680 --> 01:13:31.000 he wanted was a hat. I'm good, I'll take it. 1490 01:13:31.199 --> 01:13:34.359 I do not want to grind against this thing anymore. 1491 01:13:35.279 --> 01:13:37.760 The final test, Xerxe says, all you need to do 1492 01:13:37.960 --> 01:13:40.760 is kneel before me to prove your loyalty, and you're 1493 01:13:40.800 --> 01:13:43.640 one of us, and of course Spartan Gollum does. 1494 01:13:43.960 --> 01:13:47.319 We cut back to Sparta and Gorgo meets with Theron. 1495 01:13:47.479 --> 01:13:49.640 She has called him to the courtyard and she asks 1496 01:13:49.680 --> 01:13:53.079 him for his support in sending aid to Leonidas. I 1497 01:13:53.439 --> 01:13:58.359 think maybe in a slightly more sophisticated movie, we could 1498 01:13:58.399 --> 01:14:00.600 have done something more with Gorgo to allow her to 1499 01:14:00.600 --> 01:14:02.680 have an actual plan to try to get his support, 1500 01:14:02.680 --> 01:14:04.399 because she kind of calls me. She's like, will you 1501 01:14:04.439 --> 01:14:06.439 help me? And I'm like, that's not how shit works. 1502 01:14:06.479 --> 01:14:08.520 You know that, girl, You're not stupid. 1503 01:14:08.680 --> 01:14:12.039 The genius of this whole he, like Leonidis, looks to 1504 01:14:12.119 --> 01:14:14.720 her for ideas, and I'm like, you're the idea guy. 1505 01:14:14.960 --> 01:14:17.239 Come on, you forgot to bring ideas. 1506 01:14:17.760 --> 01:14:21.720 You just are asking. So Barron admits that he could 1507 01:14:21.800 --> 01:14:23.920 help her, but he's not sure why he would, and 1508 01:14:23.960 --> 01:14:27.520 he's like, I'm a realist, and Gorgo says, you're an opportunist. 1509 01:14:28.119 --> 01:14:30.079 He says, I don't think you or any woman could 1510 01:14:30.079 --> 01:14:32.680 sway the council. If you go before the Council without 1511 01:14:32.760 --> 01:14:36.840 me backing you up, Leonidas will get no reinforcements. And 1512 01:14:36.880 --> 01:14:39.000 then even if he does survive what's going on and 1513 01:14:39.000 --> 01:14:42.239 he does return, he'll be jailed or executed for attempting 1514 01:14:42.239 --> 01:14:44.920 to wage war and what basically amounts to a loophole 1515 01:14:45.079 --> 01:14:47.199 in the law because the Ephors told him no and 1516 01:14:47.239 --> 01:14:50.239 he went anyway. Gorgo wonders what a realist wants with 1517 01:14:50.279 --> 01:14:53.279 his queen in exchange for his assistance with the Council, 1518 01:14:53.760 --> 01:14:57.119 and then hisses that he thinks she knows, and he 1519 01:14:57.199 --> 01:14:59.920 rapes her, whispering in her ear. This will not be 1520 01:15:00.079 --> 01:15:02.119 over quickly. You will not enjoy this. 1521 01:15:03.279 --> 01:15:04.359 I am not your king. 1522 01:15:04.760 --> 01:15:07.239 Yeah, I hate this scene. The scene is rough. Before 1523 01:15:07.239 --> 01:15:08.720 we get to the roughness, can I just make one 1524 01:15:08.760 --> 01:15:11.319 stupid point? Yeah, does it feel like Dominic West just 1525 01:15:11.319 --> 01:15:13.119 got his veneers and they haven't quite settled. 1526 01:15:13.119 --> 01:15:16.239 In the scene, there's a lot happening with Dominic West's face. 1527 01:15:16.520 --> 01:15:17.399 Yeah, in this. 1528 01:15:17.319 --> 01:15:20.119 Movie, none of it is good and none of it 1529 01:15:20.199 --> 01:15:24.119 I've never seen an attractive person look so unattractive, but 1530 01:15:24.199 --> 01:15:26.199 like not trying to look on a track, like, he 1531 01:15:26.640 --> 01:15:27.359 just looks bad. 1532 01:15:27.600 --> 01:15:30.119 I think he's also like he's an oily character. Like 1533 01:15:30.159 --> 01:15:33.520 he we know from the first second he's on screen 1534 01:15:33.800 --> 01:15:36.720 that he's a villain. Yeah, and he he's a good actor, 1535 01:15:36.800 --> 01:15:39.479 so he's playing into it. He's being disgusting all of 1536 01:15:39.520 --> 01:15:41.159 the time and menacing. 1537 01:15:41.760 --> 01:15:42.600 Yeah. 1538 01:15:42.680 --> 01:15:47.159 So the only female character in this movie is sexually 1539 01:15:47.199 --> 01:15:51.840 assaulted in this quid pro quo kind of situation. 1540 01:15:52.239 --> 01:15:54.520 Ask you, because I have to admit at this point 1541 01:15:54.520 --> 01:15:56.640 I knew what was coming because I've seen this movie before, 1542 01:15:56.680 --> 01:15:59.720 and I kind of like look down and started typing notes, 1543 01:16:00.000 --> 01:16:04.439 wouldn't have to watch. She does sort of offer to 1544 01:16:04.640 --> 01:16:10.800 trade sex for his help. Right, it's not it's it's 1545 01:16:10.840 --> 01:16:13.239 it's still an assault, don't get me wrong. But I'm just 1546 01:16:13.239 --> 01:16:16.479 trying to figure out her her arc here. So she's 1547 01:16:16.560 --> 01:16:19.239 like she kind of is like, oh, okay, if that's 1548 01:16:19.239 --> 01:16:22.439 all it takes, and then he makes it violent. 1549 01:16:22.399 --> 01:16:25.600 Right, I don't think it's quite Oh, if that's what 1550 01:16:25.640 --> 01:16:28.880 it takes, it's it's you're gonna make me do this? 1551 01:16:29.279 --> 01:16:31.680 And then you know, like part of this whole thing 1552 01:16:31.720 --> 01:16:33.840 is like how strong the Spartan women are. Like earlier 1553 01:16:33.920 --> 01:16:35.880 Leonidas has it lined to Xerxes where he's like, I 1554 01:16:35.880 --> 01:16:37.960 should have brought the women with all the people you're 1555 01:16:37.960 --> 01:16:39.760 throwing against me. You don't have soldiers, you know, Like 1556 01:16:40.239 --> 01:16:43.239 I think the movie intends it to be this moment 1557 01:16:43.319 --> 01:16:44.960 of like her battlefield. 1558 01:16:45.319 --> 01:16:48.159 Yeah, like kind of a quid pro quo kind of yeah. 1559 01:16:48.239 --> 01:16:51.479 And it's like she never says no, she never says stop, 1560 01:16:51.560 --> 01:16:55.319 she doesn't fight him at all, but she's also obviously 1561 01:16:56.000 --> 01:16:58.079 forced into this well. 1562 01:16:58.039 --> 01:17:00.439 Well because he's decided to not. He's like, this isn't 1563 01:17:00.439 --> 01:17:02.880 going to be romantic. I'm doing this. I'm doing this 1564 01:17:02.920 --> 01:17:06.279 as a fuck you. She thinks that he is on 1565 01:17:06.359 --> 01:17:07.359 her side after that. 1566 01:17:07.600 --> 01:17:10.479 Yeah, she thinks I'm gonna do this to help my husband. 1567 01:17:10.640 --> 01:17:12.760 Yeah, that I'm going to do this to help Sparta. 1568 01:17:12.920 --> 01:17:16.840 The one small, small, small sliver of like okay, I'll 1569 01:17:16.840 --> 01:17:19.319 give this scene is that like she doesn't even flinch. 1570 01:17:19.680 --> 01:17:24.800 She's not victimized so much until he starts to make 1571 01:17:24.840 --> 01:17:27.560 it violent. I still hate the scene. I'm not trying 1572 01:17:27.560 --> 01:17:30.800 to justify the scene's existence. The movie does the best 1573 01:17:30.880 --> 01:17:32.119 with what it's given, I think. 1574 01:17:32.359 --> 01:17:35.640 Yeah, and it gives her a perspective. She is not 1575 01:17:35.680 --> 01:17:37.920 simply a victim. She is an active player in the 1576 01:17:37.960 --> 01:17:42.680 scene that ends in a sexual assault. Yeah, so it's 1577 01:17:43.960 --> 01:17:45.560 like you said, it's kind of the best of What 1578 01:17:45.840 --> 01:17:47.319 if this is what the story is going to do, 1579 01:17:48.239 --> 01:17:52.319 then they at least give her, the character a chance 1580 01:17:52.399 --> 01:17:55.279 to like participate in it. Sounds like it's a weird. 1581 01:17:56.039 --> 01:17:58.720 Because also we're seeing it from her perspective. 1582 01:17:58.960 --> 01:18:01.159 Yes, yeah, Ron's perspective. 1583 01:18:01.560 --> 01:18:04.680 It's annoying because paul I came here to fantasize and 1584 01:18:05.640 --> 01:18:08.600 this really puts a damper on it. This makes it 1585 01:18:08.640 --> 01:18:11.640 not fun anymore. Agreed, But it's gonna get fun in 1586 01:18:11.640 --> 01:18:14.159 a minute again. Don't worry you guys. Back on the battlefield, 1587 01:18:14.479 --> 01:18:18.760 the naked writing spartans patch themselves up after a hard day. 1588 01:18:19.640 --> 01:18:22.760 What's the Delios has lost an eye but still would do. 1589 01:18:23.039 --> 01:18:26.319 Still looks fucking hot even with an eye patch. Daxos 1590 01:18:26.359 --> 01:18:30.399 the Arcadian appears in reports that the that Gollum has 1591 01:18:30.479 --> 01:18:33.199 led the Persians to the hidden path behind them. The 1592 01:18:33.239 --> 01:18:36.199 battle is going to be lost. They have no choice 1593 01:18:36.199 --> 01:18:40.560 but to retreat or surrender, and Leonidas growls that Spartans 1594 01:18:40.840 --> 01:18:47.479 do neither, no retreat, no surrender, no mercy. It's it's 1595 01:18:47.520 --> 01:18:49.239 cobra kai. We're doing a Cobra kai. 1596 01:18:49.479 --> 01:18:50.000 Yeah. 1597 01:18:50.159 --> 01:18:52.560 Daxos is like, okay, girl, but the rest of us 1598 01:18:52.600 --> 01:18:54.640 are gonna are gonna retreat because I don't want to 1599 01:18:54.680 --> 01:18:57.319 die here today. I'm a baker, not a soldier. 1600 01:18:57.359 --> 01:18:58.920 Remember, I really like books. 1601 01:18:59.119 --> 01:19:01.680 The Arcadians have something else to live for, so we're 1602 01:19:01.680 --> 01:19:04.600 gonna live another day. So we're out. Bye, and they 1603 01:19:04.640 --> 01:19:05.600 peace out and leave. 1604 01:19:06.119 --> 01:19:09.560 Leonidas rallies the Spartans, all of whom are one hundred 1605 01:19:09.560 --> 01:19:12.319 percent on board with the whole not retreating, not surrendering thing. 1606 01:19:12.760 --> 01:19:15.000 And then he takes what's the Delio aside? Can I 1607 01:19:15.039 --> 01:19:17.960 say briefly, I'm concerned about what's the Delio's eye wound. 1608 01:19:18.000 --> 01:19:20.159 I don't feel like this dressing is sanitary. I don't 1609 01:19:20.159 --> 01:19:21.840 feel like the wound has been cleaned. I don't know 1610 01:19:21.880 --> 01:19:24.880 what's going on there, but apparently he'll be fine. There's 1611 01:19:24.920 --> 01:19:27.880 no infection. He tells What's the Delio that he must 1612 01:19:27.920 --> 01:19:29.960 go back to Greece and tell the tale of what happened. 1613 01:19:29.960 --> 01:19:32.359 He says, like you're a storyteller, you can you can 1614 01:19:32.399 --> 01:19:35.720 tell the people. He gives him Gorgo's necklace to return 1615 01:19:35.800 --> 01:19:40.319 to her, and What's the Delio departs and Leonidas addresses 1616 01:19:40.359 --> 01:19:43.760 the remaining troops and he tells them, ready your breakfast 1617 01:19:43.760 --> 01:19:47.079 and eat hearty for tonight we dine. 1618 01:19:46.720 --> 01:19:53.239 In Ah And then he plays a bagpipe. 1619 01:19:52.840 --> 01:19:56.560 Yeah, and then he rips out a tartan starts to a. 1620 01:20:00.159 --> 01:20:03.720 We cut to the council meeting in Sparta. Gorgo addresses them, 1621 01:20:03.880 --> 01:20:06.640 looking fucking fierce. Through the rest of the movie, she 1622 01:20:06.720 --> 01:20:09.399 will be wearing this black dress that is so sunning. 1623 01:20:09.840 --> 01:20:12.279 No notes on this, actually really no notes on anything. 1624 01:20:12.319 --> 01:20:14.680 She wears the entire movie. She looks fierce the entire. 1625 01:20:14.520 --> 01:20:16.640 Movie, outside of Peppermint Patty's haircut. I think we're on 1626 01:20:16.760 --> 01:20:18.359 no notes fashion wised throughout the whole thing. 1627 01:20:18.840 --> 01:20:21.640 I mean, I don't as much as I enjoy seeing 1628 01:20:21.680 --> 01:20:24.560 the Spartans in all their glory, I don't love their diapers. 1629 01:20:24.760 --> 01:20:26.159 I think diapers are ugly. 1630 01:20:26.800 --> 01:20:29.479 If diapers could be tighter, they could be more speedo less. 1631 01:20:29.319 --> 01:20:33.239 Diapers, not be diapers, honestly, could not be diapers. I 1632 01:20:33.239 --> 01:20:36.800 think realistically, historically they would have worn something closer to 1633 01:20:36.840 --> 01:20:37.399 like kilts. 1634 01:20:37.560 --> 01:20:39.880 No, I think Erica. Historically, they would have fought naked, 1635 01:20:39.920 --> 01:20:41.600 and that's what we should strive for. They should have 1636 01:20:41.600 --> 01:20:43.920 been completely new to this entire movie. 1637 01:20:44.000 --> 01:20:45.640 I don't wait, No, there's no way they. 1638 01:20:45.640 --> 01:20:47.920 Poss a kimbo or I'm not watching. 1639 01:20:50.720 --> 01:20:52.159 Do you know I believed you for a minute and 1640 01:20:52.199 --> 01:20:55.840 I was actually fought naked. That's not that's not true. 1641 01:20:56.479 --> 01:20:57.159 Does it feel right? 1642 01:20:58.039 --> 01:21:01.359 Armor? By then, so we cut to the council meeting. 1643 01:21:01.439 --> 01:21:03.800 She's addressing the Haunseil. She asks them to send the 1644 01:21:03.840 --> 01:21:07.359 Spartan army to Leonidas for the preservation of liberty and justice, 1645 01:21:07.520 --> 01:21:13.079 for law and order, for reason, and most importantly, for hope. 1646 01:21:14.039 --> 01:21:16.560 She throws everything in there, She's thrown everything in the 1647 01:21:16.560 --> 01:21:19.680 stud of see what what what lands? She's like, four 1648 01:21:19.840 --> 01:21:24.239 flowers and four kittens? 1649 01:21:25.399 --> 01:21:28.239 Is any of this sitting you, guys? 1650 01:21:28.439 --> 01:21:32.600 Any of this landing? Farren stands up and she smiles. 1651 01:21:32.920 --> 01:21:35.199 She thinks, Okay, this is it. He's gonna he's gonna 1652 01:21:35.199 --> 01:21:37.560 lower the boom and I'm gonna get everything I ask for. 1653 01:21:38.199 --> 01:21:41.079 But instead of supporting her as promised, that son of 1654 01:21:41.119 --> 01:21:44.039 a bitch, that sneaky, slimy rapeiet son of a bitch 1655 01:21:45.000 --> 01:21:49.279 accuses her of adultery. The men in the chamber gasp, 1656 01:21:49.399 --> 01:21:55.680 what an unclean oore. He claims that she attempted to 1657 01:21:55.720 --> 01:21:59.439 seduce him the prior night, that you offered your body 1658 01:21:59.479 --> 01:22:02.479 in exchange for my support? Do you deny it? And 1659 01:22:02.520 --> 01:22:05.640 of course, because she has so much integrity, she doesn't 1660 01:22:05.960 --> 01:22:12.560 not deny it. Yeah, she can't deny it. She's like, actually, 1661 01:22:12.600 --> 01:22:14.119 that's not exactly. 1662 01:22:13.600 --> 01:22:15.880 What happened, but but it's not not what. 1663 01:22:15.960 --> 01:22:20.479 Happens, not not what happened basically. He then also claims 1664 01:22:20.479 --> 01:22:25.159 that she seduced the loyalist your same way, your ghosts, yourgos, lanthemos, 1665 01:22:25.880 --> 01:22:31.000 the same way. So now everyone's like, hor hoor to 1666 01:22:31.039 --> 01:22:33.680 dear queen. Does queen mean nothing to these people? 1667 01:22:33.680 --> 01:22:34.640 This shit? It really doesn't. 1668 01:22:34.680 --> 01:22:38.119 So does she have no fucking power here? He turns 1669 01:22:38.159 --> 01:22:41.840 the counsel against her, but she will not be bowed today. 1670 01:22:41.920 --> 01:22:46.399 She grabs one of the guard's swords and runs thereon through, 1671 01:22:46.880 --> 01:22:50.239 killing him, and as he dies, she leans into his 1672 01:22:50.319 --> 01:22:53.399 ear and whispers, this will not be over quickly. You 1673 01:22:53.520 --> 01:22:59.359 will not enjoy this. I am not your queen, to 1674 01:22:59.399 --> 01:23:02.119 which point my father, my seventy eight year old father, 1675 01:23:02.439 --> 01:23:07.279 stood up and cheered, and I was like, Okay, he's 1676 01:23:07.319 --> 01:23:14.640 into this. As she removes the sword from his belly, 1677 01:23:14.760 --> 01:23:19.880 Persian coins fall from Arran's pockets and the council realizes 1678 01:23:19.920 --> 01:23:22.039 that he has been a trader this entire time. 1679 01:23:22.479 --> 01:23:25.840 Back on the battlefield Spartan, Gollum leads the immortals to 1680 01:23:25.920 --> 01:23:30.560 flank the Spartans, while Xerxes approaches directly on with more soldiers. 1681 01:23:30.600 --> 01:23:34.680 Xerxes looking like looking like the twink on the Atlantis 1682 01:23:34.720 --> 01:23:37.960 gay cruise, about whom all other passengers are like, He's 1683 01:23:38.000 --> 01:23:41.279 a lot, a lot. 1684 01:23:42.199 --> 01:23:45.920 Xerxes looking like Ibiza's worst lifeguard. 1685 01:23:45.680 --> 01:23:48.399 Looking like Aquaman's raver half brother. 1686 01:23:49.199 --> 01:23:54.760 Looking like an entire Flamenco troop, all into one, all 1687 01:23:54.840 --> 01:23:55.560 in one person. 1688 01:23:58.279 --> 01:24:02.000 The Spartans, except for sit in a huddle protected by 1689 01:24:02.039 --> 01:24:04.359 their shields, and now they're a real turtles. It's just 1690 01:24:04.560 --> 01:24:06.600 a little igloo of shields. 1691 01:24:06.720 --> 01:24:07.079 Yeah. 1692 01:24:07.279 --> 01:24:10.760 Xerxes makes another play at getting Leonidas to kneel right. 1693 01:24:10.800 --> 01:24:12.760 He really wants this goddess surrender. He doesn't want to 1694 01:24:12.760 --> 01:24:15.399 have to kill him. He offers him everything he could want, 1695 01:24:15.439 --> 01:24:18.439 if you will only submit to the god King. What's 1696 01:24:18.479 --> 01:24:21.359 the Delio tells us in voiceover that, just as with 1697 01:24:21.479 --> 01:24:24.000 the wolf thirty years ago, remember the gnarly wolf from 1698 01:24:24.039 --> 01:24:29.479 the opening, it is not fear that grips Leonidas, only restlessness, 1699 01:24:30.119 --> 01:24:34.640 a heightened sense of things. His helmet is stifling, he 1700 01:24:34.760 --> 01:24:38.800 takes it off. His shield is heavy. He drops it. 1701 01:24:39.479 --> 01:24:42.359 He looks at Spartan Gollum, who's in the front lines, 1702 01:24:43.000 --> 01:24:46.640 and he curses him. He says, may you live forever, 1703 01:24:47.359 --> 01:24:49.680 essentially denying him the glory of ever dying in battle, 1704 01:24:49.680 --> 01:24:51.560 the greatest thing a Spartan could ever do. 1705 01:24:51.560 --> 01:24:53.960 Do you know until you said that, I didn't realize 1706 01:24:53.960 --> 01:24:54.600 it was a curse. 1707 01:24:54.800 --> 01:24:55.760 Oh. 1708 01:24:55.800 --> 01:24:57.880 I was like, oh, maybe he's seeing nice to him, 1709 01:24:57.920 --> 01:25:01.159 like I kind of see you did. But no, you're right, 1710 01:25:01.239 --> 01:25:02.239 you're right, and I'm wrong. 1711 01:25:02.399 --> 01:25:06.399 He drops his spear. He goes to his knees. He bows, 1712 01:25:06.439 --> 01:25:12.520 and on his platform Xerxes, looking like looking like looking 1713 01:25:12.600 --> 01:25:16.439 like Van Cleef and Arpels asked Robert Maplethorpe to make 1714 01:25:16.479 --> 01:25:22.720 them a mascot raises his arms in triumphs. 1715 01:25:26.159 --> 01:25:30.239 Oh my god. Leonias studies the ground and remembers Gorgo 1716 01:25:30.319 --> 01:25:32.479 and their son. He is such a wife guy. 1717 01:25:32.720 --> 01:25:35.479 He is, yeah, a wife guy the whole movie. 1718 01:25:35.560 --> 01:25:37.920 He just keeps fantasizing about his hot wife and I 1719 01:25:37.960 --> 01:25:40.600 am I'm you know what, I can't be mad at 1720 01:25:40.600 --> 01:25:47.079 a wife guy. No, he grins and shouts. Stelios and 1721 01:25:47.239 --> 01:25:53.319 Michael Fassbender emerges from the Spartan formation. He leaps off 1722 01:25:53.399 --> 01:25:59.840 of Leonidas's back and spears. The closest Persian battle breaks out, 1723 01:26:00.319 --> 01:26:04.039 and what's the Delio explains that Leonidas's helmet narrowed his 1724 01:26:04.199 --> 01:26:07.920 vision and his shield threw him off balance as his 1725 01:26:08.039 --> 01:26:13.600 target was far away, and as the melee rages, Leonidas 1726 01:26:13.720 --> 01:26:20.000 leaps up, grabs his spear and hurls it at Zyxes, 1727 01:26:21.239 --> 01:26:27.600 Zigfried and Roy's butler. You think it's gonna be a 1728 01:26:27.680 --> 01:26:30.079 kill shot, but it's not. In fact, he is so 1729 01:26:30.319 --> 01:26:35.039 goddamn accurate with his targets. We didn't really accurately explain Xerxes. 1730 01:26:35.119 --> 01:26:38.039 Xerxes has a bunch of face piercings. He has like 1731 01:26:38.119 --> 01:26:42.520 hoops through his cheeks and through his nose, and Leonidas's 1732 01:26:42.560 --> 01:26:46.359 spear goes through those hoops and rips open the God 1733 01:26:46.439 --> 01:26:49.800 King's cheek. So it's worse than death. He's now a 1734 01:26:50.039 --> 01:26:52.960 proven that you are in fact mortal, and b he's 1735 01:26:53.000 --> 01:26:56.840 destroyed his vanity and I guessed not Rodrigo's face. 1736 01:26:57.000 --> 01:26:58.399 Do we think he should have just gone for the 1737 01:26:58.479 --> 01:27:02.439 kill shot though, like you kill ye just ends that? 1738 01:27:02.640 --> 01:27:06.600 Then then we're pretty good here. Yeah, probably, like we 1739 01:27:06.720 --> 01:27:10.600 prove the god kings no god and uh. 1740 01:27:09.680 --> 01:27:12.199 He can go back to being Cleopatra's go go dancer. 1741 01:27:12.439 --> 01:27:19.640 Yeah. Xerxes panics at the sight of his own blood. 1742 01:27:20.039 --> 01:27:25.199 The Spartans fall to a barrage of arrows. Migneto gasps 1743 01:27:25.239 --> 01:27:28.199 that it was an honor to die by Leonidas's side. 1744 01:27:28.840 --> 01:27:32.159 Leonidas says it was an honor to have lived by 1745 01:27:32.239 --> 01:27:36.119 his With all of his Spartan men dead around him, 1746 01:27:36.439 --> 01:27:40.560 Leonidas staggers to his feet, arrows sticking out of his torso. 1747 01:27:41.000 --> 01:27:46.800 He shouts, my queen, he says, my wife, He whispers 1748 01:27:47.399 --> 01:27:51.479 my love. He stands in silhouette as a hell of 1749 01:27:51.640 --> 01:27:53.279 arrows blacks out the sun. 1750 01:27:54.640 --> 01:27:56.840 Yeah it's a real it's a real sing Sebastian moment. 1751 01:27:57.760 --> 01:28:00.920 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1752 01:28:00.560 --> 01:28:04.359 We see what The Delio return home and return Gorgo's 1753 01:28:04.399 --> 01:28:07.399 necklace to her, basically telling her without saying it, your 1754 01:28:07.439 --> 01:28:08.399 husband didn't make it. 1755 01:28:08.680 --> 01:28:09.000 Yeah. 1756 01:28:09.039 --> 01:28:12.119 We see him addressing the council, telling them that Leonidas's 1757 01:28:12.199 --> 01:28:16.399 last words were remember us. And in case anyone thinks 1758 01:28:16.439 --> 01:28:19.159 this movie is subtle, we cut to the bloodless battlefield 1759 01:28:19.399 --> 01:28:24.079 where Leonardo Leonidas lies pierced by arrows. Very I mean, 1760 01:28:24.119 --> 01:28:27.439 it is Saint Sebastian, it is paintings after painting of 1761 01:28:27.479 --> 01:28:28.279 Saint Sebastian. 1762 01:28:28.720 --> 01:28:31.800 All of these men felled by so many arrows, not 1763 01:28:31.880 --> 01:28:34.239 a single one taken to the genitals, even though they. 1764 01:28:34.119 --> 01:28:38.319 Are wearing cloth diapers entirely. We see what's the Delio 1765 01:28:38.399 --> 01:28:41.199 addressing the same group of Spartan warriors we saw him 1766 01:28:41.199 --> 01:28:46.119 addressing at the beginning of the film, giving this rousing speech. Right, 1767 01:28:46.760 --> 01:28:49.199 the battle is going to continue, and they are joined 1768 01:28:49.199 --> 01:28:53.279 by seven thousand other Greeks. So it's the Spartans in 1769 01:28:53.319 --> 01:28:56.399 the front and the arrest of the Greek basically the 1770 01:28:56.840 --> 01:28:59.560 entirety of the of the Greeks behind them, ready to 1771 01:28:59.560 --> 01:29:03.439 fight the Persians in the final battle that actually, historically 1772 01:29:03.439 --> 01:29:04.399 the Persians will lose. 1773 01:29:04.880 --> 01:29:05.119 Yep. 1774 01:29:05.399 --> 01:29:08.000 What's really funny about this is like He's standing right 1775 01:29:08.039 --> 01:29:10.439 in the front of like thousands of thousands of men, 1776 01:29:10.800 --> 01:29:14.720 and he's like, he's like, we will remember everything that 1777 01:29:14.840 --> 01:29:18.319 happened that day at the hot gates. We will do 1778 01:29:18.399 --> 01:29:21.840 this for Leonidas, for Greece. And I can just imagine 1779 01:29:21.840 --> 01:29:26.119 like even three guys behind him being like, what did 1780 01:29:26.119 --> 01:29:26.439 he say? 1781 01:29:26.520 --> 01:29:26.720 Them go? 1782 01:29:27.119 --> 01:29:30.000 Do we go? He's talking. I don't, I don't. I 1783 01:29:30.000 --> 01:29:31.960 can't hear what he's saying. What's happening? 1784 01:29:32.520 --> 01:29:35.479 That's the theater trainining Because I had the exact same thought, like, bitch, 1785 01:29:35.520 --> 01:29:37.960 those people can't hear you. You'ren't even facing them, You're 1786 01:29:38.000 --> 01:29:40.239 turning around, projecting away from them. 1787 01:29:40.600 --> 01:29:43.079 The guy like one foot behind him can't hear him. 1788 01:29:43.079 --> 01:29:45.640 How's the seven thousand soldier in the back supposed to 1789 01:29:45.720 --> 01:29:46.159 hear him? 1790 01:29:47.680 --> 01:29:49.119 The exact same note. 1791 01:29:49.319 --> 01:29:52.279 So he inspires the men onward to defeat Xerxes in 1792 01:29:52.319 --> 01:29:56.640 the name of Leonidas and the three hundred end of film. 1793 01:29:57.199 --> 01:30:00.359 Yes, so stick around. We will be right back with 1794 01:30:00.399 --> 01:30:14.199 our random observations and final rankings for three hundred. And 1795 01:30:14.319 --> 01:30:17.880 we're back, Erica. Give give me some give me some 1796 01:30:18.000 --> 01:30:21.000 random observations on this movie. That is, that is that 1797 01:30:21.039 --> 01:30:23.399 has given us so much Paul, I. 1798 01:30:23.319 --> 01:30:29.800 Would rather die than disappoint you. Right now. I will 1799 01:30:29.800 --> 01:30:31.960 make these the most random observations. 1800 01:30:32.319 --> 01:30:33.479 They will be truly random. 1801 01:30:33.840 --> 01:30:39.199 No randomness will be left unobserved. Does it snow in Greece? 1802 01:30:39.239 --> 01:30:40.920 Because there's a lot of snow in this movie. 1803 01:30:41.079 --> 01:30:43.199 I had the exact same thought, and I was like, 1804 01:30:43.239 --> 01:30:45.520 maybe it doesn't, like before climate change? 1805 01:30:45.840 --> 01:30:50.239 Maybe maybe, Yeah, this is Sparta, is Peloponnesia. I don't 1806 01:30:50.239 --> 01:30:52.560 think it snows there. I really don't. I don't. There's 1807 01:30:52.600 --> 01:30:55.760 a lot of weather in this movie and snow, there's lightning, 1808 01:30:55.800 --> 01:30:57.960 there's heat, just just too much weather in Sparta. 1809 01:30:58.239 --> 01:31:01.399 Yeah, agreed. I have something we kind of brushed over 1810 01:31:01.439 --> 01:31:03.800 in the movie when the oracle came up. We talked 1811 01:31:03.840 --> 01:31:05.520 about how like it was beautiful, which it was. It 1812 01:31:05.560 --> 01:31:08.319 was a beautiful visual thing. But there's this line that 1813 01:31:08.439 --> 01:31:10.680 just simply doesn't need to be in there, which is 1814 01:31:10.720 --> 01:31:14.520 about how the ephors choose the oracle I know, and 1815 01:31:14.560 --> 01:31:17.239 they say they choose only the most beautiful Spartan girls 1816 01:31:17.279 --> 01:31:20.279 to live among them as oracles. Their beauty is their curse, 1817 01:31:20.560 --> 01:31:22.880 for the old wretches have the needs of men and 1818 01:31:22.920 --> 01:31:25.560 souls as black as hell. And then one of these 1819 01:31:25.680 --> 01:31:29.159 like lepers basically with all of these boils, like leans 1820 01:31:29.199 --> 01:31:31.920 down like licks this woman's face and I'm like it, 1821 01:31:32.159 --> 01:31:32.960 we just don't need this. 1822 01:31:33.279 --> 01:31:37.359 Also super not historically accurate, right, Like the oracles were 1823 01:31:37.359 --> 01:31:40.800 like vessel virgins, like you don't fuck with them. Yeah, 1824 01:31:40.880 --> 01:31:44.479 they were seen as like actual like conduits to God. Yeah, 1825 01:31:44.560 --> 01:31:46.439 that would never have happened. 1826 01:31:46.800 --> 01:31:49.119 Yeah, the Spartans seem to. 1827 01:31:49.039 --> 01:31:53.279 Have a really good wheat crump. Did you notice that? 1828 01:31:53.520 --> 01:31:56.279 Okay, why do all of these movies it wasn't. Weren't 1829 01:31:56.279 --> 01:31:59.159 wheat fields strongly featured and Gladiator as well? Was wheat 1830 01:31:59.159 --> 01:31:59.880 that big of a deal? 1831 01:32:00.159 --> 01:32:02.479 I think wheat was a big deal? Paul? Okay, Also, 1832 01:32:02.920 --> 01:32:06.119 shouldn't they be in agrarian society? Like why are they 1833 01:32:06.159 --> 01:32:08.439 so militaristic if they have all this wheat? 1834 01:32:08.960 --> 01:32:11.760 Yeah, they have stuff people need, they can buy it. 1835 01:32:11.960 --> 01:32:15.199 Do they have farmers? Are there any farmers in Sparta? 1836 01:32:15.319 --> 01:32:18.840 Or every is every man just forced into military service? 1837 01:32:18.880 --> 01:32:20.800 And I guess the women have to be the farmers. 1838 01:32:20.840 --> 01:32:22.560 I was gonna say, it sounds like it's something that's 1839 01:32:22.640 --> 01:32:24.760 women's work in Sparta. That's what it sounds like to me. 1840 01:32:24.800 --> 01:32:26.680 It sounds like something else women can do while men 1841 01:32:26.760 --> 01:32:28.840 go off and do push ups and suck each other's 1842 01:32:28.880 --> 01:32:30.279 decks in the war camp. 1843 01:32:30.479 --> 01:32:33.920 It's Rosy the riveter, but with a scythe Yeah. Well, 1844 01:32:33.920 --> 01:32:37.199 which also begs the question, what other like normal jobs 1845 01:32:37.239 --> 01:32:39.119 are there in Sparta that are not military? 1846 01:32:39.479 --> 01:32:41.319 There's not librarian? Yeah, I know that. 1847 01:32:41.720 --> 01:32:44.399 Is there someone who's just like I fixed shoes? Like, 1848 01:32:44.600 --> 01:32:45.479 is there a cobbler? 1849 01:32:45.760 --> 01:32:46.520 Is there a milliner? 1850 01:32:46.840 --> 01:32:48.880 Is there someone's making those adult diapers? 1851 01:32:49.119 --> 01:32:50.840 Yeah, someone's making those cloaks. 1852 01:32:51.119 --> 01:32:53.920 Is there an it guy who's fixing things for people 1853 01:32:53.960 --> 01:32:54.520 in Sparta? 1854 01:32:54.680 --> 01:32:56.640 Who's fixing the line to the oracles? 1855 01:32:56.880 --> 01:32:59.960 Yeah? Is there an air conditioning repair guy in Sparta? 1856 01:33:00.439 --> 01:33:03.760 Is there a Colagan man? Hey, Coulagan man in Sparta? 1857 01:33:04.359 --> 01:33:07.079 Like? What is this? How do they monetize this society? 1858 01:33:07.119 --> 01:33:08.840 I hate to bring things back to money, but like, 1859 01:33:09.239 --> 01:33:11.199 what do we do? What goods and or services do 1860 01:33:11.319 --> 01:33:12.479 we provide in Sparta? 1861 01:33:12.880 --> 01:33:13.119 Yeah? 1862 01:33:13.279 --> 01:33:15.039 Just asking a lot of questions. 1863 01:33:14.640 --> 01:33:22.319 Outside of total bank fests. While we're on the subject 1864 01:33:22.319 --> 01:33:24.880 of what they're wearing. I have to believe so this 1865 01:33:24.960 --> 01:33:27.520 is not the actors faults, but obviously the costume designer 1866 01:33:27.560 --> 01:33:32.239 and the costumes, the cloaks on the costumes are very cinematic, right, 1867 01:33:32.279 --> 01:33:34.600 and they're very long because they're constantly like blowing in 1868 01:33:34.640 --> 01:33:37.159 the wind and everything. But there's the scene where like 1869 01:33:37.319 --> 01:33:40.319 Leonidas says goodbye to Gorgo, he has all the three 1870 01:33:40.439 --> 01:33:43.159 hundred turn around and start to walk away, and the 1871 01:33:43.199 --> 01:33:46.600 men like they can't look graceful because they're carrying like 1872 01:33:46.640 --> 01:33:48.760 really heavy shields and these spears. They kind of all 1873 01:33:48.760 --> 01:33:53.239 start like clanking away with these long cloaks starling behind them, 1874 01:33:53.399 --> 01:33:55.279 and I'm like, there is no way that there's not 1875 01:33:55.359 --> 01:33:57.439 bloopers of someone stepping on the cloak of the guy 1876 01:33:57.479 --> 01:33:59.520 in front of him and creating like a domino effect, 1877 01:34:00.119 --> 01:34:05.359 like like all of these gorgeous men falling over each other. 1878 01:34:09.159 --> 01:34:11.840 Also, the sandals have to be so slippery. 1879 01:34:11.439 --> 01:34:16.000 After slippery and heavy heavy. 1880 01:34:16.159 --> 01:34:19.680 There's a moment in that awful scene with Dominic West 1881 01:34:19.680 --> 01:34:22.880 and Lena Heity. There's a moment where Lena Heaty slaps 1882 01:34:22.920 --> 01:34:26.000 him in that scene when he first basically offers to 1883 01:34:26.359 --> 01:34:31.319 trade sex for his Dominic West totally telegraphs it. I 1884 01:34:31.600 --> 01:34:35.000 feel like in rehearsal he gave him like a heart. 1885 01:34:35.159 --> 01:34:37.039 He's like, you could just really slap me. It's fine. 1886 01:34:37.119 --> 01:34:39.960 I'm not how hard could it actually be forgetting that. 1887 01:34:40.039 --> 01:34:43.039 Lena Heaty also did the Eight Weeks of Training prior 1888 01:34:43.079 --> 01:34:46.000 to this movie because she's got Michelle Obama arms. She 1889 01:34:46.119 --> 01:34:51.319 is jacked. Connor fucking hauls off on him and so 1890 01:34:51.520 --> 01:34:54.199 like in rehearsal, he's and he's like, oh that really, 1891 01:34:57.239 --> 01:35:00.720 because no ship she's she like was, takes a step 1892 01:35:00.720 --> 01:35:03.000 forward like she's about to slap him, and Dominic West 1893 01:35:03.079 --> 01:35:06.319 flinches and in the movie they can't take they can't 1894 01:35:06.319 --> 01:35:08.279 take it out of the movie, which means there is 1895 01:35:08.319 --> 01:35:10.840 not a single take where Dominic West. 1896 01:35:12.279 --> 01:35:14.760 Well, maybe the other option is that that's like he 1897 01:35:14.960 --> 01:35:18.239 knows that she's physically more a depth than he is, 1898 01:35:18.319 --> 01:35:21.319 because it seems like he's not a warrior, like they say, 1899 01:35:21.319 --> 01:35:22.680 he's not a warrior. So I don't know how he 1900 01:35:22.680 --> 01:35:25.199 fits into the Spartan society. Maybe he's an immigrant to 1901 01:35:25.239 --> 01:35:28.680 Spartan society. I don't understand, but like it seems like 1902 01:35:29.079 --> 01:35:31.680 that moment could mean like he knows that she can 1903 01:35:31.720 --> 01:35:32.520 take him. 1904 01:35:33.119 --> 01:35:35.880 Sure, But honestly, Paul, it's just the actor. 1905 01:35:35.960 --> 01:35:36.840 I know the actor. 1906 01:35:37.159 --> 01:35:39.520 It's just the actor being like, let's get hit and 1907 01:35:39.560 --> 01:35:40.479 he can't hide it. 1908 01:35:42.840 --> 01:35:44.760 I only have one more, because I talked about this 1909 01:35:44.800 --> 01:35:46.319 in the opening that I forgot to bring it up 1910 01:35:46.399 --> 01:35:48.399 during the course of the movie. The joke that made 1911 01:35:48.439 --> 01:35:51.920 me laugh out loud. Oh it's it's the scene where 1912 01:35:52.039 --> 01:35:54.960 Leonidas is eating the apple. They they've won the first battle. 1913 01:35:54.960 --> 01:35:57.640 They're going around killing people that are still alive, and 1914 01:35:57.880 --> 01:36:00.319 Artemis is like, oh, my lord, you can't oh and 1915 01:36:00.319 --> 01:36:03.239 he's like, no, we would be lucky if they assassinated me, 1916 01:36:03.359 --> 01:36:06.520 because then the Sparta will have to go to war. 1917 01:36:06.960 --> 01:36:09.079 And he says we should pray the Persians are that 1918 01:36:09.159 --> 01:36:11.199 stupid and that we're that lucky, And then he takes 1919 01:36:11.199 --> 01:36:13.600 a big part of the apple and he goes, besides, 1920 01:36:13.720 --> 01:36:18.640 there's no reason we can't be civil. There's not a 1921 01:36:18.720 --> 01:36:20.479 lot of moments of humor in the movie, and that 1922 01:36:20.520 --> 01:36:22.079 one was like, it really felt like a breath of 1923 01:36:22.079 --> 01:36:23.359 fresh air to me. At that point, I was like, 1924 01:36:23.399 --> 01:36:26.000 this is getting a little boring, Like, let's pep this 1925 01:36:26.079 --> 01:36:29.159 up a little bit of a touch, all right, Erica, 1926 01:36:29.279 --> 01:36:32.039 how how are we gonna rank three hundred? How are 1927 01:36:32.039 --> 01:36:33.720 we gonna rate this this epic film? 1928 01:36:34.000 --> 01:36:38.680 Polios? We should rank it one to ten. Wife guys, 1929 01:36:39.279 --> 01:36:42.359 what we love a wife guy? And Leonidas is a 1930 01:36:42.399 --> 01:36:45.439 wife guy in this movie Wife Guy. There is a 1931 01:36:45.479 --> 01:36:48.720 sequel to this movie in which Gorgo is the narrator. 1932 01:36:48.760 --> 01:36:51.319 I believe, Oh isn't Lenahidi. 1933 01:36:51.000 --> 01:36:54.119 It's Lenahiiti. Apparently it's not very good. But there is 1934 01:36:54.159 --> 01:36:56.319 a sequel to this movie that I didn't really look 1935 01:36:56.359 --> 01:36:56.920 into too much. 1936 01:36:56.960 --> 01:37:01.840 But just watch Game of Thrones for better Lenahiti. She 1937 01:37:01.880 --> 01:37:03.680 gets to play the villain in that, and she's really 1938 01:37:03.680 --> 01:37:04.399 good as a villain. 1939 01:37:05.119 --> 01:37:09.479 How about one to ten? Putrid corpse walls my favorite 1940 01:37:09.560 --> 01:37:12.079 kind of corpse walls. Yeah, if it's not putrid, it's 1941 01:37:12.079 --> 01:37:14.159 not a corpse wall. Let's put it that way. Yeah, 1942 01:37:14.359 --> 01:37:16.920 if I can't smell it, it's not a corpse wall. 1943 01:37:17.399 --> 01:37:19.359 That's like those old ads for corpse walls that you 1944 01:37:19.399 --> 01:37:21.319 can see on TV. They're like, if it's not covered 1945 01:37:21.359 --> 01:37:25.399 in flies, it's not a putrid corpse wall. Putrid makers 1946 01:37:25.399 --> 01:37:31.239 of corpse walls since the dawn of time. How about 1947 01:37:31.279 --> 01:37:32.439 one to ten The Hot. 1948 01:37:32.239 --> 01:37:35.039 Gates Hot Gates. 1949 01:37:34.399 --> 01:37:39.399 Hot Gates, New York's hottest nightclub is Hot Gates. It's 1950 01:37:39.439 --> 01:37:45.640 got everything. It's got hunchbackwargies, it's got war rhinos, it's 1951 01:37:45.680 --> 01:37:46.840 got racism. 1952 01:37:47.119 --> 01:37:47.840 Woo. 1953 01:37:48.079 --> 01:37:49.439 It really does have everything. 1954 01:37:49.760 --> 01:37:52.359 It's got men and adult diapers. 1955 01:37:51.920 --> 01:37:54.479 The thing that every club actually needs. There's men in 1956 01:37:54.520 --> 01:37:58.600 adult diapers. One to ten things that Xerxes looks like 1957 01:37:58.960 --> 01:38:04.039 in this movie sample. For example, Xerxes looks like he looks. 1958 01:38:04.159 --> 01:38:08.079 He looks like he looks like Alexander the Great's favorite 1959 01:38:08.159 --> 01:38:09.399 spank bank material. 1960 01:38:12.239 --> 01:38:15.319 He looks like an underwear model in the mad Max universe. 1961 01:38:16.119 --> 01:38:18.319 He looks like Emperor Hadrian's wet Dream. 1962 01:38:18.840 --> 01:38:21.359 He looks like the most popular myth dealer at Studio 1963 01:38:21.439 --> 01:38:22.039 fifty four. 1964 01:38:22.319 --> 01:38:26.119 He looks he looks like someone brought in to meet 1965 01:38:26.279 --> 01:38:29.319 Mel Gibson for Apocalypto, and mel Gibson was like, no, homo, 1966 01:38:30.800 --> 01:38:31.640 this is too much. 1967 01:38:32.199 --> 01:38:38.560 He looks like the top Yogi on Lesbos. I never 1968 01:38:38.600 --> 01:38:40.479 know what's gonna land. That's amazing. 1969 01:38:41.920 --> 01:38:45.800 Let's do this one. Okay, I'm just picturing a Yogi 1970 01:38:45.880 --> 01:38:46.560 in that outfit. 1971 01:38:49.960 --> 01:38:50.079 Uh. 1972 01:38:50.199 --> 01:38:52.119 Do you want to go first? Or shall I go first? 1973 01:38:53.720 --> 01:38:55.720 I mean we both I think we're both going to 1974 01:38:55.760 --> 01:38:57.960 align on this one. So what probably you go first 1975 01:38:58.479 --> 01:39:01.199 and I'll pick up. I'll pick up where you leave off. 1976 01:39:01.359 --> 01:39:02.920 Sure it doesn't age? Well? 1977 01:39:03.039 --> 01:39:06.159 Oh disagree? Kidding? 1978 01:39:06.560 --> 01:39:08.159 We didn't really harp on this in the body of 1979 01:39:08.159 --> 01:39:11.399 the episode, but again, like the Persians are othered through 1980 01:39:11.439 --> 01:39:14.640 the use of people of color, where the Greeks are 1981 01:39:14.680 --> 01:39:18.920 all white and the bad evil mystic other people are 1982 01:39:19.000 --> 01:39:23.199 all black people and Asian people, and I guess South 1983 01:39:23.199 --> 01:39:26.239 American people because Rodrigo Santaurro's Brazilian. 1984 01:39:26.039 --> 01:39:27.760 One super hot Brazilian, and. 1985 01:39:27.720 --> 01:39:31.199 The Greeks are all Caucasians. So that's not good. Like 1986 01:39:31.239 --> 01:39:33.800 we said, the filmmakers have address this and are basically like, 1987 01:39:33.800 --> 01:39:36.520 nothing's meant to be taken seriously, and the point is 1988 01:39:36.560 --> 01:39:38.800 that even if you don't want it to be taken seriously, 1989 01:39:38.840 --> 01:39:42.840 and even if you are able to separate that, sometimes 1990 01:39:42.840 --> 01:39:45.319 the audience is not, and sometimes it's just subconscious shit 1991 01:39:45.359 --> 01:39:49.479 that gets into people's heads. And like this movie definitely participates. 1992 01:39:48.920 --> 01:39:50.199 In that thousand. 1993 01:39:51.359 --> 01:39:55.039 There is something with the film's take on homosexuality, with 1994 01:39:55.319 --> 01:39:59.079 the with the Xerxes character. Look, I don't even think 1995 01:39:59.079 --> 01:40:00.680 he looks quote unquote gay, Like I don't know an 1996 01:40:00.680 --> 01:40:03.199 a gay man that looked like that, but like he 1997 01:40:03.239 --> 01:40:06.039 looks he looks like a gay Oscar basically like he's. 1998 01:40:09.079 --> 01:40:10.800 He looks like the kind of Oscar we would give 1999 01:40:10.880 --> 01:40:11.680 Liza Minellie. 2000 01:40:11.880 --> 01:40:16.760 Yeah, he he there's there's a thing in his the 2001 01:40:16.760 --> 01:40:19.079 big scene with him and Leonidas where he's kind of 2002 01:40:19.119 --> 01:40:22.479 like he wants him to kneel. There's something there. I 2003 01:40:22.520 --> 01:40:23.600 don't think it's a big deal. 2004 01:40:23.840 --> 01:40:26.039 No, I didn't think of that, because there's like a 2005 01:40:26.159 --> 01:40:28.600 level of like sexiness to the submission of it all. 2006 01:40:29.199 --> 01:40:31.479 Yeah, and well he is sex though. 2007 01:40:31.399 --> 01:40:33.520 Like when we see him not on the battlefield, he's 2008 01:40:33.560 --> 01:40:37.039 in a literal orgy, and like Rodrigo Santoro is playing 2009 01:40:37.199 --> 01:40:38.720 him very sexy. 2010 01:40:39.119 --> 01:40:42.039 Absolutely, and and I and I again, I could even 2011 01:40:42.079 --> 01:40:44.560 I could believe the filmmakers saying that's not what we intended. 2012 01:40:44.600 --> 01:40:46.399 But the way you have him dressed, the way you 2013 01:40:46.479 --> 01:40:49.920 have like the picture of a man sexy in that 2014 01:40:50.079 --> 01:40:55.439 way that almost somewhat androgynous. Other ring maybe it's not gay, 2015 01:40:55.479 --> 01:40:58.560 but it feels queer. Maybe that's a better word for 2016 01:40:58.600 --> 01:41:01.560 it if we think about like the target audience of 2017 01:41:01.720 --> 01:41:04.560 teenage boys in like two thousand and seven, like it, 2018 01:41:05.439 --> 01:41:07.239 I don't want to come down hard. There's something there. 2019 01:41:07.279 --> 01:41:09.640 I can't quite put it into words accurately, maybe, but 2020 01:41:09.680 --> 01:41:11.520 like there's something there that makes it go a little 2021 01:41:11.560 --> 01:41:13.159 like Eh, we could have thought about this a little 2022 01:41:13.159 --> 01:41:13.439 bit more. 2023 01:41:13.800 --> 01:41:16.119 No, I would argue that there is an eroticism through 2024 01:41:16.159 --> 01:41:20.720 the entire film that like justifies the eroticism of Xerxes. 2025 01:41:21.359 --> 01:41:24.479 This is not how Spartan soldiers actually dressed. This is 2026 01:41:24.479 --> 01:41:27.439 not how Spartan soldiers actually looked. They would not have 2027 01:41:27.640 --> 01:41:29.439 looked this way at all. So they're doing this to 2028 01:41:29.560 --> 01:41:34.399 like create a sense of eroticism around literally everyone. Lenahiti 2029 01:41:34.840 --> 01:41:38.119 is dressed in very skimpy clothing. The if you are 2030 01:41:38.119 --> 01:41:40.560 not an active monster in the film, if you are 2031 01:41:40.560 --> 01:41:44.159 not someone under like a thousand pounds of prosthetics, then 2032 01:41:44.199 --> 01:41:49.760 you are being sexualized. Every adult actor is being fetishized 2033 01:41:50.159 --> 01:41:52.720 in this film, and so like, I don't know that 2034 01:41:52.720 --> 01:41:56.600 that's necessarily queer as opposed to just like a general 2035 01:41:56.720 --> 01:42:00.199 blanket sexy. I guess everyone's just sexy. 2036 01:42:00.640 --> 01:42:02.399 Yeah, but I guess I would just say, like, the 2037 01:42:02.479 --> 01:42:06.880 sexiness chosen for the Xerxes character feels queer to me. 2038 01:42:07.520 --> 01:42:10.359 Really, and not the sexiness chosen for like the Michael 2039 01:42:10.359 --> 01:42:11.399 Fossbrender character. 2040 01:42:11.520 --> 01:42:13.840 No, that doesn't. That feels that feels universal. 2041 01:42:14.239 --> 01:42:18.560 That's for everyone. 2042 01:42:18.840 --> 01:42:22.319 For me, I mean, not even that it's for me. 2043 01:42:22.840 --> 01:42:26.039 That the character is in some way queer like, like 2044 01:42:26.039 --> 01:42:30.159 like a Disney villain kind of situation. Is what's is? 2045 01:42:30.439 --> 01:42:31.079 I think what's thinking? 2046 01:42:31.119 --> 01:42:31.279 To me? 2047 01:42:31.319 --> 01:42:33.000 Again, I don't want to make that big a deal 2048 01:42:33.000 --> 01:42:34.239 of it because I don't think it's that big of 2049 01:42:34.279 --> 01:42:36.000 a deal. It's just something I kind of tripped on 2050 01:42:36.079 --> 01:42:36.520 a little bit. 2051 01:42:36.560 --> 01:42:39.760 I wonder if it's because the like the Spartans, and 2052 01:42:39.840 --> 01:42:44.319 even even the female Spartans are so masculine. Like Lena 2053 01:42:44.359 --> 01:42:47.159 Heity was cast because she's got a square draw and like, yeah, 2054 01:42:47.239 --> 01:42:51.039 broad shoulder. She's stunningly beautiful woman. I'm not saying she's 2055 01:42:51.079 --> 01:42:54.560 not attractive, but like she's got masculine features, and so 2056 01:42:54.600 --> 01:42:59.000 she kind of lets you fits in well with this milieu, right, So, like, yeah, 2057 01:42:59.039 --> 01:43:01.760 there's a masculine to all the Spartans, even the women, 2058 01:43:01.920 --> 01:43:05.039 whereas you think there might be a femininity too specifically 2059 01:43:05.039 --> 01:43:07.239 exercs you because honestly, I don't see femininity in the 2060 01:43:07.239 --> 01:43:07.880 rest of his army. 2061 01:43:07.960 --> 01:43:10.399 Well, yeah, he's the only character, real character that we. 2062 01:43:10.399 --> 01:43:13.159 Meet that's interesting. I didn't really think about it, but 2063 01:43:13.239 --> 01:43:16.039 I see your point. I do. I see your point. 2064 01:43:16.079 --> 01:43:18.239 I just find it so sexy and erotic. I don't care. 2065 01:43:18.560 --> 01:43:22.279 Sure, sure enough. And then as far as the women, 2066 01:43:22.399 --> 01:43:25.399 the female representation in the movie, like, there's obviously very 2067 01:43:25.439 --> 01:43:27.319 little to a certain extent. This is a man's this 2068 01:43:27.399 --> 01:43:29.479 is a story about men. So like, I'm not gonna 2069 01:43:29.479 --> 01:43:31.920 be mad they didn't put female soldiers in the three hundred, Like, 2070 01:43:31.920 --> 01:43:34.039 obviously that is historic. Not that the rest of the 2071 01:43:34.039 --> 01:43:37.119 movie is historically accurate. But you know, I think that 2072 01:43:37.239 --> 01:43:42.039 Gorgo for being a kind of character that's added in post, 2073 01:43:42.279 --> 01:43:44.600 does pretty well for herself. I think it's a pretty 2074 01:43:44.640 --> 01:43:47.960 good character. It's just not past the Bechdel test. She's 2075 01:43:48.000 --> 01:43:50.239 the only woman that's named in the movie by far. 2076 01:43:50.640 --> 01:43:52.720 Al well, I don't mean, does she even speak to 2077 01:43:52.760 --> 01:43:56.039 anyone else? Like that's not like the three men that 2078 01:43:56.079 --> 01:43:56.640 she speaks to. 2079 01:43:57.239 --> 01:43:58.039 No, I don't think so. 2080 01:43:58.359 --> 01:44:00.479 I think that's the two thousand and seven of it all. 2081 01:44:00.960 --> 01:44:02.880 I think that's because we forget, like this is well 2082 01:44:02.920 --> 01:44:05.039 out of our usual. This isn't the nineteen eighties anymore. 2083 01:44:05.079 --> 01:44:07.960 This is like the two thousands and so like studio 2084 01:44:08.039 --> 01:44:09.479 notes would have been like, we need to put a 2085 01:44:09.479 --> 01:44:10.039 woman in there. 2086 01:44:10.159 --> 01:44:13.960 Yeah, so yeah, it does doesn't overall age. Well, I 2087 01:44:14.000 --> 01:44:16.279 don't think it's without value, and I don't think it's 2088 01:44:16.319 --> 01:44:19.199 without entertainment value or actual value. Like, like we talked 2089 01:44:19.239 --> 01:44:22.760 about like Zack Snyder's idea behind this, that he wanted 2090 01:44:22.800 --> 01:44:25.560 to recreate the comic book panel for panel, and like 2091 01:44:25.960 --> 01:44:27.520 apparently if you watch the movie and you read the 2092 01:44:27.560 --> 01:44:30.399 comic book, you can see him like making those panels. 2093 01:44:30.399 --> 01:44:32.840 So that's pretty cool. I again, I don't think it's 2094 01:44:32.880 --> 01:44:35.560 the most artistically inspired idea, but like I get he 2095 01:44:35.840 --> 01:44:36.920 he had a thought and you wanted to do it, 2096 01:44:36.960 --> 01:44:38.920 and he did it, and by all accounts he did 2097 01:44:38.920 --> 01:44:42.159 it well. So I did get a little bored with 2098 01:44:42.199 --> 01:44:44.079 the movie, but I certainly can understand other people having 2099 01:44:44.119 --> 01:44:46.199 more fun. It's not for me. It's it's very much 2100 01:44:46.239 --> 01:44:46.640 not for me. 2101 01:44:46.840 --> 01:44:48.920 There's also something to seeing it in the movie theater. 2102 01:44:49.199 --> 01:44:52.359 It was like seeing it in the theater. It was exciting, 2103 01:44:52.479 --> 01:44:54.840 and it was big and loud and like it's all 2104 01:44:55.239 --> 01:44:58.479 like really in your face. I remember really enjoying it 2105 01:44:58.520 --> 01:44:59.880 when I saw it in the theater. I went on 2106 01:45:00.279 --> 01:45:02.399 duress to be clear. The rest of the people in 2107 01:45:02.439 --> 01:45:03.960 my family wanted to see it, and I was like, 2108 01:45:04.119 --> 01:45:07.800 uh fine, and then I sat there the whole time 2109 01:45:07.840 --> 01:45:11.840 being like I kind of love this. So it's a 2110 01:45:11.880 --> 01:45:14.399 popcorn movie in that sense, right, Like it's meant to 2111 01:45:14.439 --> 01:45:16.520 be seen one time. You're not supposed to watch this 2112 01:45:16.560 --> 01:45:19.560 over and over again. You're supposed to just like shove 2113 01:45:19.600 --> 01:45:23.279 popcorn in your face and be like a go fight kill. 2114 01:45:23.680 --> 01:45:27.119 So yeah, I'm gonna give it a two. A two 2115 01:45:27.319 --> 01:45:30.680 out of ten. Things that Rodrigo Santoro looked like in 2116 01:45:30.680 --> 01:45:36.680 this movie, things like things like an international male catalog 2117 01:45:36.760 --> 01:45:39.760 model preparing to do an artistic diving competition at the 2118 01:45:39.760 --> 01:45:41.479 White Party in Miami like that. 2119 01:45:44.199 --> 01:45:45.720 Yours are so specific. 2120 01:45:47.800 --> 01:45:49.720 I find them more specific, I get the funnier. I 2121 01:45:49.760 --> 01:45:53.439 find them two out of ten for me. 2122 01:45:53.479 --> 01:45:56.159 What do you think, Erica, Uh yeah, I think it's 2123 01:45:56.199 --> 01:45:59.039 a two as well. Okay, here's where I'm even giving 2124 01:45:59.079 --> 01:46:02.520 the movie points. I was super entertained too, even though 2125 01:46:02.520 --> 01:46:04.560 I'm about to ding the movie on this hard. They 2126 01:46:04.600 --> 01:46:07.239 bothered to put in that female character that's that like, 2127 01:46:07.720 --> 01:46:10.319 for lack of a better term, strong female lead right 2128 01:46:10.720 --> 01:46:13.520 m hm, which which anchors the movie in a way 2129 01:46:13.560 --> 01:46:16.640 because she is the She is the diplomatic voice of 2130 01:46:16.720 --> 01:46:20.000 reason in the film as well. But they gave they 2131 01:46:20.039 --> 01:46:23.920 gave us one woman. They had her sexually assaulted. I 2132 01:46:23.960 --> 01:46:25.760 mean she got to like kill the guy who sexually 2133 01:46:25.760 --> 01:46:28.319 assaulted her. So that's fun. You know what, I might 2134 01:46:28.359 --> 01:46:30.000 give it a three just for that. I'm like, I 2135 01:46:30.039 --> 01:46:32.760 might got this movie to a three, because you know what, 2136 01:46:32.880 --> 01:46:35.439 violence is not the answer, but sometimes it's it's it's 2137 01:46:35.479 --> 01:46:36.399 a fun answer. 2138 01:46:37.279 --> 01:46:39.479 I tell you really quickly. This is a sidebar. It's 2139 01:46:39.520 --> 01:46:41.880 it's not off topic, but it's slightly off topic. One 2140 01:46:41.880 --> 01:46:44.600 of my favorite comic books growing up was the story 2141 01:46:44.680 --> 01:46:47.199 of a of a super heroine getting sexually assaulted and 2142 01:46:47.239 --> 01:46:49.479 killing the guy who sexually assaulted her. It was so 2143 01:46:49.680 --> 01:46:52.199 cool and I didn't even I was young enough when 2144 01:46:52.239 --> 01:46:54.159 I read it, because it was it was a comic book, 2145 01:46:54.199 --> 01:46:57.600 so it wasn't clear like in words like what happened 2146 01:46:57.600 --> 01:47:00.319 to her? She had to talk around it. But I 2147 01:47:00.880 --> 01:47:02.920 can tell you, like the exact story of the scene 2148 01:47:02.920 --> 01:47:05.720 where she like fucking killed that guy. It was so cool, 2149 01:47:05.960 --> 01:47:08.119 like my little gay eyes the size of dinner plates 2150 01:47:08.159 --> 01:47:08.960 reading the scene. 2151 01:47:09.920 --> 01:47:11.880 What's the comic book it was? 2152 01:47:12.119 --> 01:47:14.439 It was it was Hawkeye's wife in the comic books 2153 01:47:14.479 --> 01:47:17.119 who went who was a Mockingbird? And she gets she 2154 01:47:17.159 --> 01:47:19.000 got basically gets date rape. She gets drugged and she 2155 01:47:19.000 --> 01:47:20.279 comes out of it and she kills the guy I 2156 01:47:20.359 --> 01:47:22.760 did it, and it was so cool. She knocks him 2157 01:47:22.760 --> 01:47:24.600 off a cliff and he's like, pull me up, and 2158 01:47:24.640 --> 01:47:27.119 she's like drop dead, and he does, and he screams 2159 01:47:27.119 --> 01:47:28.199 her name all the way down. 2160 01:47:28.760 --> 01:47:31.359 It's fun when that happens in movies. It sucks to 2161 01:47:31.560 --> 01:47:34.159 use like violence against women as a plot point. Yeah, 2162 01:47:34.319 --> 01:47:37.079 it happens. A, it happens. It fucking happens. 2163 01:47:37.159 --> 01:47:37.880 What can I like? 2164 01:47:37.920 --> 01:47:40.119 What can I say? More than we think it does 2165 01:47:40.159 --> 01:47:42.039 even and and B it is fun when they get 2166 01:47:42.079 --> 01:47:44.920 their come up and yeah, when they when the when 2167 01:47:44.960 --> 01:47:50.159 they there's a violent and and righteous retribution to react. 2168 01:47:50.520 --> 01:47:52.319 So I will give the movie credit that it does. 2169 01:47:52.840 --> 01:47:53.439 It does do that. 2170 01:47:53.560 --> 01:47:55.399 Yeah, look, I have blood lust. What can I say? 2171 01:47:55.479 --> 01:47:58.319 I just and it needs to be satisfied. 2172 01:47:58.359 --> 01:48:00.439 You're getting it out in healthy ways, watching movies and 2173 01:48:00.520 --> 01:48:01.159 cheering for them. 2174 01:48:01.239 --> 01:48:03.159 It's just who I am, you guys. There's nothing I 2175 01:48:03.199 --> 01:48:05.960 can do about it. The racism is really bad, and 2176 01:48:06.000 --> 01:48:07.600 it's worse than I remember it. I don't even know 2177 01:48:07.640 --> 01:48:09.239 if I clocked it the first time I saw the movie, 2178 01:48:09.319 --> 01:48:10.760 or if I did clock it, I was like whoo 2179 01:48:11.159 --> 01:48:13.800 and then I very swiftly forgot about everything in the 2180 01:48:13.840 --> 01:48:17.439 movie that was not Gerard Butler's abs, and now watching 2181 01:48:17.479 --> 01:48:20.359 it again, it is it is really bad. And like, 2182 01:48:20.520 --> 01:48:23.640 even if it is unintentional, it's there and it's it's 2183 01:48:24.479 --> 01:48:26.279 I think I said this before, it's worse for being 2184 01:48:26.359 --> 01:48:31.000 unintentional actually because it means it's real racism and not 2185 01:48:31.439 --> 01:48:34.319 h and not like but we're making a point, you see, 2186 01:48:34.359 --> 01:48:37.680 because like, no, it's it's literal unconscious bias. It is 2187 01:48:37.720 --> 01:48:41.399 it's real racism. So yeah, I'm I agree with you. 2188 01:48:41.479 --> 01:48:43.880 Although I don't think you need to beat yourself up 2189 01:48:43.880 --> 01:48:46.279 if you had fun watching this movie when it first, 2190 01:48:46.439 --> 01:48:48.720 I do think you have to, especially if you were 2191 01:48:48.760 --> 01:48:51.920 a child when you saw this movie. Although although not 2192 01:48:52.119 --> 01:48:54.880 child child, but like a fifteen year old boy, for example, 2193 01:48:55.720 --> 01:49:00.159 with maybe not the most fully formed frontal cortex. We'll 2194 01:49:00.159 --> 01:49:02.399 get it again and kind of notice this stuff because 2195 01:49:02.439 --> 01:49:04.279 it's easy to miss that stuff, and it's easy to 2196 01:49:04.359 --> 01:49:08.960 let this sort of subconsciously influence you. Also, you know, 2197 01:49:09.159 --> 01:49:11.199 it introduced the world to Michael Fossbender, and I can't 2198 01:49:11.239 --> 01:49:11.760 be mad at. 2199 01:49:11.640 --> 01:49:12.640 That, sure can't. 2200 01:49:12.960 --> 01:49:15.840 No, So yeah, two out of ten? What is it? 2201 01:49:16.119 --> 01:49:17.439 What Xerxes looks. 2202 01:49:17.199 --> 01:49:21.359 Like things Xerxes look like looks like two. 2203 01:49:21.319 --> 01:49:23.600 Out of ten Chapel Roane Fever dreams. 2204 01:49:24.920 --> 01:49:28.199 That's good. That's good. Do you have it? Do you 2205 01:49:28.199 --> 01:49:32.560 have a palate cleanser Erica Wikipedia? 2206 01:49:32.640 --> 01:49:34.720 Although I can't because also that that's a little bit 2207 01:49:34.760 --> 01:49:38.640 of that's not that's not an exact an exact historical record, 2208 01:49:38.720 --> 01:49:43.720 is it either? I don't have any film palate cleansers because. 2209 01:49:43.800 --> 01:49:44.920 Because you hate Gladiator. 2210 01:49:45.720 --> 01:49:50.039 I don't care for Gladiator. But I think Paul's correct 2211 01:49:50.039 --> 01:49:52.680 in that, like the technical achievement of making this movie 2212 01:49:52.760 --> 01:49:56.560 is really interesting and worth worth watching. I don't think 2213 01:49:56.560 --> 01:49:58.800 I've ever seen another Zack Snyder film. I know he 2214 01:49:58.880 --> 01:50:01.159 does this. A lot of his films have this look 2215 01:50:01.199 --> 01:50:03.479 to it and have like he's continued on with his style. 2216 01:50:03.640 --> 01:50:05.960 So maybe there are better ones, but this is the 2217 01:50:05.960 --> 01:50:07.399 only one I've ever seen, I'm. 2218 01:50:07.279 --> 01:50:09.600 Afraid, so I don't. Yeah, I mean, I'm not a Zach. 2219 01:50:10.000 --> 01:50:12.159 Zack Snyder's not making movies for me, although, but look, 2220 01:50:12.199 --> 01:50:15.239 by by all accounts, Zack Snyder's a very nice person. 2221 01:50:15.359 --> 01:50:16.920 Like the actors who work with him, like GM, he 2222 01:50:16.920 --> 01:50:17.960 seems to be real quick. 2223 01:50:18.000 --> 01:50:22.239 Did he make that first Superman with Henry Cavill. Henry 2224 01:50:22.239 --> 01:50:25.319 Cavill is that Oh okay, I saw that one too, 2225 01:50:25.399 --> 01:50:27.399 and can I tell you I've even in the theater. 2226 01:50:27.520 --> 01:50:30.079 I was so bored watching that movie. Mm hmm. It's 2227 01:50:30.199 --> 01:50:33.439 so there's like a forty minute fight scene in the middle. 2228 01:50:33.479 --> 01:50:35.319 It's not really, but it feels like it goes on 2229 01:50:35.359 --> 01:50:37.680 for forty minutes and it's so boring. 2230 01:50:38.039 --> 01:50:40.319 I did not watch any of his comic book movies 2231 01:50:40.399 --> 01:50:42.399 because they all looked like exactly the things I hate 2232 01:50:42.399 --> 01:50:45.359 about comic books. But I am excited for the new 2233 01:50:45.399 --> 01:50:48.199 Superman because it looks fun. It looks bright and colorful 2234 01:50:48.239 --> 01:50:49.880 and fun, and I want to see it. 2235 01:50:50.039 --> 01:50:52.800 I saw that Zack Snyder Superman in a triple feature 2236 01:50:52.840 --> 01:50:55.439 day because it was a it was one hundred degree 2237 01:50:55.520 --> 01:50:57.640 day in New York City, and my roommate and I 2238 01:50:57.720 --> 01:51:00.279 just decided to go to the movies all day. The 2239 01:51:00.319 --> 01:51:02.359 third movie we saw a Woman in Black with like 2240 01:51:02.359 --> 01:51:05.600 a Daniel Radcliffe movie. Oh, like Horror, which was really 2241 01:51:05.600 --> 01:51:08.199 fucking good. That one was great, and then this movie 2242 01:51:08.199 --> 01:51:10.239 and we were like boom, and so we had to 2243 01:51:10.279 --> 01:51:11.840 go to a third movie to palatee cleanse. 2244 01:51:11.920 --> 01:51:15.560 This movie fair enough fair enough. Yeah, I was gonna 2245 01:51:15.560 --> 01:51:19.159 say the the the HBO series Rome was really fun. Well, 2246 01:51:19.199 --> 01:51:21.119 that was fun really like I had a good sense 2247 01:51:21.119 --> 01:51:23.880 of humor. And it is also like obviously playing very 2248 01:51:23.880 --> 01:51:26.640 fast and loose with history, but like it's a good time. 2249 01:51:26.720 --> 01:51:29.760 The second season is fun, but they realized they were 2250 01:51:29.760 --> 01:51:32.279 getting canceled, so they try to cram like four seasons 2251 01:51:32.319 --> 01:51:34.239 worth of stuff into like the last five episodes, and 2252 01:51:34.239 --> 01:51:35.840 it gets very overcrowded. 2253 01:51:36.079 --> 01:51:38.520 It's so funny because the first season is like it's 2254 01:51:38.520 --> 01:51:42.399 like one summer in the history. It's like, okay, we 2255 01:51:42.439 --> 01:51:43.520 got to cover Cleopatra. 2256 01:51:43.800 --> 01:51:46.239 Yeah, we got twenty years to get through here, people, 2257 01:51:46.319 --> 01:51:47.640 let's pick it up. 2258 01:51:49.960 --> 01:51:51.680 You know what's great about Rome too is that like, 2259 01:51:51.760 --> 01:51:53.720 even though they are playing fast and loose with some 2260 01:51:53.880 --> 01:51:57.279 history like the when they just do decide to go deep, deep, 2261 01:51:57.279 --> 01:52:01.520 deep into historical accuracy, it's fast, like the recreation of 2262 01:52:01.560 --> 01:52:04.560 the Roman Forum and stuff like that, it's actually a 2263 01:52:04.560 --> 01:52:05.119 great watch. 2264 01:52:05.439 --> 01:52:07.600 All right, Erica. That is the end of our show. 2265 01:52:08.000 --> 01:52:11.079 Everyone listening can follow us on Blue Sky, they can 2266 01:52:11.079 --> 01:52:13.439 follow us on Threads, they can follow us on Instagram. 2267 01:52:13.760 --> 01:52:15.760 We have a tea public shop. We would love it 2268 01:52:15.800 --> 01:52:17.840 if you would leave Spotify comments, and we would love 2269 01:52:17.880 --> 01:52:19.560 it if you would leave a five star review on 2270 01:52:19.600 --> 01:52:22.760 Apple Podcasts or any podcasting platform that you use. If 2271 01:52:22.760 --> 01:52:25.199 you do that, just like Chili Pepper thirteen and r 2272 01:52:25.399 --> 01:52:28.079 L Gavrila from the top of this episode, let us 2273 01:52:28.079 --> 01:52:29.720 know you did it. We'll send you a that age 2274 01:52:29.720 --> 01:52:32.199 ball tope bag. And if you want a little extra 2275 01:52:32.199 --> 01:52:33.720 help to figure out how to do that, I have 2276 01:52:33.840 --> 01:52:36.119 put in the show notes a link to go rate 2277 01:52:36.199 --> 01:52:38.960 this podcast dot com slash that age Well. You can 2278 01:52:38.960 --> 01:52:40.279 follow the instructions there. 2279 01:52:40.920 --> 01:52:47.800 That aged Well is produced and edited by Paul Kiola in. 2280 01:52:47.560 --> 01:52:49.119 Hell in Helle. 2281 01:52:50.279 --> 01:52:58.039 This is Spota, this is podcast. 2282 01:53:00.439 --> 01:53:03.439 Like to thank all of you, our listeners. 2283 01:53:03.560 --> 01:53:04.039 All of you. 2284 01:53:04.039 --> 01:53:06.000 You have supported us. You've helped us get to three 2285 01:53:06.119 --> 01:53:09.760 hundred episodes. Whenever I thought of quitting because Paul I 2286 01:53:09.800 --> 01:53:13.880 couldn't handle Paul's bullshit for a second longer, someone would 2287 01:53:13.880 --> 01:53:16.399 email us something sweet and nice and I'd be like, fine, 2288 01:53:16.439 --> 01:53:17.720 I'll keep putting up with him. 2289 01:53:20.399 --> 01:53:23.159 DYZ. Thank you everyone listening. If this is the first 2290 01:53:23.159 --> 01:53:25.159 episode you ever listened to, welcome. If it is the 2291 01:53:25.159 --> 01:53:28.279 three hundredth episode you've listened to, We're so happy to 2292 01:53:28.319 --> 01:53:32.039 have you. You are truly the best way for us 2293 01:53:32.079 --> 01:53:34.319 to get the word out about our show, recommending it 2294 01:53:34.319 --> 01:53:36.560 to your friends, telling people about it, and so many 2295 01:53:36.600 --> 01:53:37.960 of you have done that, and so many of you 2296 01:53:38.000 --> 01:53:43.760 have emailed us wonderful, heartfelt messages about how our show 2297 01:53:43.800 --> 01:53:45.920 made you laugh during I'm going to get really sincere. 2298 01:53:45.960 --> 01:53:47.720 I'm gonna look at Erica when I say this. Watch this, 2299 01:53:47.960 --> 01:53:49.920 She's going to be quiet for thirty seconds. Watch does 2300 01:53:49.960 --> 01:53:50.600 I get Sincere? 2301 01:53:50.880 --> 01:53:52.119 So uncomfortable right now? 2302 01:53:53.479 --> 01:53:57.880 You have emailed us very heartfelt messages about maybe us 2303 01:53:57.920 --> 01:54:00.479 helping you get through tough times, be they personal or 2304 01:54:01.000 --> 01:54:03.600 more grand than that, and that we made you laugh 2305 01:54:03.680 --> 01:54:06.560 at a dark time and that really warms our hearts 2306 01:54:06.600 --> 01:54:09.319 and warms the cockles of our souls. I said cockles, 2307 01:54:09.319 --> 01:54:13.319 and she laughed. I did it. But really, truly, thank 2308 01:54:13.399 --> 01:54:15.479 you so much for listening. Thank you for all the 2309 01:54:15.520 --> 01:54:17.359 emailing that you do. Thank you for all of the 2310 01:54:17.479 --> 01:54:19.520 commenting that you do. Thank you for telling people about 2311 01:54:19.520 --> 01:54:21.680 the show. We work really hard on it, and we're 2312 01:54:21.760 --> 01:54:23.640 very happy to have you here with us so that. 2313 01:54:23.600 --> 01:54:26.479 One therapist who tells their patience to listen to us. 2314 01:54:27.840 --> 01:54:31.640 I mean, God, bless you, God bless you Nick from Australia, 2315 01:54:31.960 --> 01:54:32.880 because I'll. 2316 01:54:32.680 --> 01:54:34.479 Tell you my therapist is not listening to this. 2317 01:54:37.720 --> 01:54:39.680 All right, Erica, do you have any final thoughts on 2318 01:54:39.720 --> 01:54:41.359 three hundred Paul? 2319 01:54:42.399 --> 01:54:47.439 This will not end quickly. It's not gonna go well. 2320 01:54:48.119 --> 01:54:50.039 And I am not your queen. 2321 01:54:49.880 --> 01:54:51.319 And bitch, I'm not your queen. 2322 01:54:58.880 --> 01:55:00.119 I can do the one I text you. I have 2323 01:55:00.199 --> 01:55:00.920 another one too. 2324 01:55:01.399 --> 01:55:03.680 Oh good, Actually forgot the one who texted me this 2325 01:55:03.720 --> 01:55:05.600 is great that I didn't read it. 2326 01:55:05.800 --> 01:55:07.560 No, you did well, you responded. Maybe it was an 2327 01:55:07.560 --> 01:55:12.399 instant response. Just set your text to automatically respond to 2328 01:55:12.439 --> 01:55:14.239 me with like a laughter. I'm not sure he's making 2329 01:55:14.279 --> 01:55:15.319 some fart joke about this. 2330 01:55:16.800 --> 01:55:19.880 What didn't you say? Fuck no, I'm looking at it. 2331 01:55:19.960 --> 01:55:21.640 You text the same way when you record with me. 2332 01:55:21.720 --> 01:55:22.479 You just don't listen. 2333 01:55:23.600 --> 01:55:28.479 Ancient Greece and me, I'm kidding. Okay, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha? Okay,