Speaker 1: But Brittany has a quick thing to get off her chest.
Speaker 2: Right out of the gate, she wastes no time. Why
not get the party started. Before the party starts, she
lets her know that Jesse's telling everybody that she's a
reasonably priced prostitute.
Speaker 1: Hi, hello, and welcome to another brand spanking new episode
of bad TV. I'm Dylan. That is pat great to
be here. No Ruby tonight, but she'll be back next week.
And we got to talk about page tonight. So I'm
glad Ruby's not here because I want to speak freely
and frankly. I'm scared of Ruby. I'm scared of my little,
tiny baby sister.
Speaker 2: I don't like the judgment. Yeah, I'm with you.
Speaker 1: Are you scared of her too?
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah? I don't want to upset her in any way.
I know she's pretty, she's a fucking she's scared of
Geeba's out.
Speaker 1: I know she scares a shit on me too. Dude, Well,
are we like are we prisoners? No?
Speaker 2: No, no, not yet.
Speaker 1: It will come though.
Speaker 2: Right quite possibly, people are starting to like her more
than they like us. That's where the power.
Speaker 1: I know we have to take her out. Get to
patreon dot com Slash another podcast network for summer house
apspn Z, lots of fun stuff, fan meetups. All of
that stuff is at patreon dot com. Keep the reviews coming.
I'm gonna wait till we get to below Deck next
week because I had one of my favorite reviews of
all time. We got two stars. I think two stars. Yeah,
so get in there. Five stars. Mitigate the uh, the
ruinous opinions. You know, as Pat broke down with who
owns the tuxedo shop on Venture and what's it?
Speaker 2: Oh gosh, well that was the star of Back to
the Future. Her risk a Harmaitay no, no, no, that's
not our name.
Speaker 1: Well, you know on Yelp, if you get one one
star review, it'll knock your score down. And as Pat
said infamously, that's got a hurt, that's got a hurt.
Speaker 2: Okay, Valley one jerk off, Yeah, the Valley, Dylan. We
have important business to get to before we get into
our recap. The rating system. A lot of little batties
have opinions us.
Speaker 1: I think now I think I have a favorite.
Speaker 2: Initially I thought Joint Custodies was the best one, but
I heard one this week that may trump that one.
Speaker 1: Really, Yes, well, was it.
Speaker 2: Mid life crisises?
Speaker 1: No, absolutely not.
Speaker 2: You don't. You can't do a whole season of rating
midlife crisises. I just love that it's.
Speaker 1: Plural Well, okay, so I don't. I don't mean to
be a dick, but a midlife crisis is how we
would pluralize it. But we could also just like have
mouthfun with it and say, crisises, I like bumps.
Speaker 2: Bumps, Like that's their botox units. Uh yeah, that's pretty good.
Speaker 1: Well, the hunt continues. I don't think did we figured
it out yet? Get in the comments, let us know
if we've missed anything.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: You know, as I've said many times before, a wise
man's once said, the solutions feel divine. They do not
feel like there's any great to them. They feel that
they are something like shoulder taps. There is no room
for debate any longer. That is what we are going
to still so anyways, so keep letting us down.
Speaker 2: Keep getting in there, keep trying. I think help us bumps.
Right now, I think I'm gonna use that as my
rating system for tonight.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's use it for tonight. I just that was
from Laurel.
Speaker 2: I think, Oh Laurel, I love Laurel. Yeah, I guess
let's get into our for now, our bumps still in.
Speaker 1: You go first.
Speaker 2: Okay, this up episode was insane, insane. The first thing
I want to say is I think the showrunner of
the show needs to get off the adderall and make
this show something based in reality because this was bonkers.
Speaker 1: Bonkers Okay, I mean we could use group chats for
this episode.
Speaker 2: Let's break down the game film Michelle being accused of
being a recently priced prostitute given the clientelebillionaire, Yeah, fifteen
hundred is a lot of buddy wipe literally wipe your
ass one thousand dollars bills for the rest of your
life and probably still be a billionaire.
Speaker 1: It seems a little light father fucking honey company.
Speaker 2: Luke of all people back channeling information, he is a
little worm. We are at David Buster's and Janet knows
the joint like the back of her hand. We have
the organizer of a party paying for an Airbnb that
is currently in this episode being disinvited to his own Airbnb. Yeah, yeah,
that's or madness. That being said, Jack not Jack's not
being here was quite the improvement.
Speaker 1: I yeah, yeah, we had fun. We had a lot
of fun without him.
Speaker 2: We had a lot of fun with But one of.
Speaker 1: I would say Jack's biggest fears is that this show
is good without him. Far above not seeing his son,
is this show being good for him?
Speaker 2: So the rumor was he only lasted three days in
rehab because he was irritated that they were continuing to
film with him. Yeah, so we had to leave baseless,
shaveless rovers. Now the question here lies with old Patty
because I'm cynical and I'm not I think this season
might be a little too cooked. Is did he, in
fact ever go to a rehab.
Speaker 1: Where do you think he went to a hotel? Yeah? Yeah,
banged a couple of runaways and then came back to
the show.
Speaker 2: Well, when the show begins, and I'm not going to
get ahead of myself, Jason has asked how it went
driving Jackson the rehab that he didn't have a lot
to say, So that tells me and I don't think
Jason's good on his feet with improv. Yeah, so the
best we got is, oh, you know, he was you know,
it was a tough ride.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's having trouble separating the fact that he's a
vile human being with the fact that he thinks that
Britney is a bitch. Seems to be treading one one
of those roads quite often.
Speaker 2: That's right. There is one thing before I get to
my bumps. It made the news today. Danny and Nia
have purchased a one point three home in the lovely
Santa Clarita Valley.
Speaker 1: Oh beautiful, beautiful. That makes me really happy.
Speaker 2: Compromises what you'd say, Yeah, how many bumps do you
give it? Let give it thirty two bumps?
Speaker 1: Okay, that'll kill you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, especially what they're putting in it these days.
Speaker 1: Man, dude, when's the last time you did it?
Speaker 2: Two thy eighteen? Just a random night?
Speaker 1: Did we do it together? No?
Speaker 2: I don't think so. I don't think we've ever done
it together.
Speaker 1: Oh we have, we have? Oh yeah, I think you tried.
Speaker 2: To get me to do it. I wouldn't do it.
Speaker 1: Oh you think.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was in Vegas.
Speaker 1: I don't think No, I think it was here.
Speaker 2: I don't think I did it.
Speaker 1: I was probably pretty fucked up.
Speaker 2: There you go.
Speaker 1: I give it thirty four bumps. Kidding, time's that pie?
Two even three? I thought this episode was so fucking funny.
I call Luca worm because Luke has done this before.
I don't know why anyone trusts this guy with anything.
He constantly gets in the muck and he's like, well,
I'm just a meth cook and hill billy from Colorado
and alrodo you know? But he has none of the
salt of the earthness. And it's it's that drama cleaniness
of Luke that really provides quite an amazing scene.
Speaker 2: He was on Watch What Happens Live last night. Think
about it that I would that one of my on
my list of what do you call it when you
before You're dead?
Speaker 1: Death list?
Speaker 2: Some bucket list would be to be a panelist on
Watch What Happens Live. This guy doesn't belong on reality TV,
and yet he made it on that wonderful honored seat.
Speaker 1: Well, if he keeps gossiping, then uh, did you call
it a wonderful honored seat? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I think it's an honor to be there.
Speaker 1: You know what I found out this week? Andy's Andy
Cohen's Daughter's same name as our daughter, Lucy. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Is that right?
Speaker 1: Wow, you have to change your name? You know.
Speaker 2: I thought of naming my daughter Dylan. Really on the list,
I would have spelt it differently. Than you.
Speaker 1: No, yes, no, I don't think so.
Speaker 2: Definitely, d I L L I O N No.
Speaker 1: My way is the woman way?
Speaker 2: Oh really?
Speaker 1: Yeah? M okay, So let's get into it. The motherfucking
honey company. Jax checked himself into rehab. Zach's not going
to lie. He's like, honestly shocked that that happened. And
this is where it gets really sad, because there is
a kid in the mix. I felt bad saying that
it was so funny last week. I was honest, I
genuinely did laugh a lot when I was watching that episode.
But seeing crews in the mix, can we fucking try
to lift this a little bit and leave him out
of the scenes.
Speaker 2: Here's the good news. He's too he won't remember any
of this. He'll feel it dad not being around these
connections you need to make you know. Jackson is clearly
a fuck up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh no, I think that he might not have
memories of it, but there's some serious psychic ramifications for this.
So Jason heads over. He's having a tough time. This
is where he says that he's having a tough time.
What's the word taking accountability? I think Jackson is just
calling Brittany a ahoa, the entire way to that hotel
that he's staying at. That's right, and she's not. You are, though,
overcome by a spiritual malady that is taking over you
at turning you into a botox monster.
Speaker 2: Are you referring to be or Brittany, I'm referring to Jacks.
Oh Jackson, Yes, yes, yes, and very schneefed up. Now, Dylan,
I want to point out something that a lot of
yours perhaps wouldn't have caught. We are still in the
single day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you caught.
Speaker 2: That as far as the timeline. Yeah, Okay, think about
how much moving around on this single day is still
going around and with Jason now returning and giving a
report of dropping off Jacks, then Janet and Michelle pop it. Yeah,
lot's going on in this day. This is like a
seventy two hour day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like Sinna's did you see it yet? No?
In the comments, let us know if your saw centers. Okay,
he said that he doesn't have high hopes. Sounds like
things are still not great. And the lady said over
Brittany says that she's worried she's going that Jax is
going to charm the pants off of the people that
work at the rehab facility.
Speaker 2: And yeah, what will that get him to?
Speaker 1: Brittany? I would say, Brett, I don't want to be
too insulting, but that stuff may work on you because
you are all hopped up on corn and beans. But
these people have seen it fifty thousand times before and
Jax isn't even good at now, so don't worry about that.
Worry about him not going at all. Jason heads out
and Janet expresses her gratitude for having such an amazing husband.
Why is he married to her? I don't know why
the hell's he married?
Speaker 2: Clearly? Where is the pants of the family?
Speaker 1: Holy shit?
Speaker 2: I listening to Heather McDonald Juicy Scoop this week, and
she theorized none of these people actually have any work.
Who's gonna fucking have Jesse sell their house after he's
been on this show acting like an asshole. There's ten
thousand fucking realtors in Los Angeles. You're gonna hire the
douchebag that's making up stories about your X costume.
Speaker 1: I'm so excited to get to Jesse because Jesse is
I think I think Jesse's probably the worst person on
the show. I think that Jacks is a narcissist, but
kind of like a dumb you know. I think Jesse's
I think Jesse has evil in him.
Speaker 2: And some evil stuff.
Speaker 1: Also, you know, he's a little bit I would say
a lot of it narcissistic. I mean to think that
you can go on this show and behave this way
and that it's not going to severely negatively affect your future.
What are you.
Speaker 2: Thinking, dude, I don't know what he's thinking.
Speaker 1: Good lord, especially.
Speaker 2: When he admits I just made that up about the
prostitute thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't say that. Don't say that. Okay, So we
all gather and watch a child play without a father.
This is worse than an episode of Morian. Those are sad,
sad things.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you, there's not nothing cuter than seeing
a toddler play in their pajamas.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, you don't want.
Speaker 2: To sell you that kid's view of the world by
talking about his demented drug addict father.
Speaker 1: In front of him. Yeah. So Janet got some Chinese
food or some food delivered. I want everybody's opinion on that.
What what? What's the deal with individual plates? Usually when
you do a postmate, it's going to be a family
style thing. Huh, this is all individual? It was, yeah,
it was. It weirded me out. People get an individual
takeout order, like, who who does that?
Speaker 2: I believe that was the order. I you know, I
know this town pretty well. It looks like the green
Apple to me.
Speaker 1: It did, right, yeah, which makes it even weirder because
when you order green Apple, you get a trough of soft, soft,
soggy chicken. And that's for everybody. You know, green Apple
is disgusting.
Speaker 2: A little greasy, all right, eating there years ago.
Speaker 1: So if I were you, Michelle says, I would file tomorrow.
And speaking of let's get to Jesse.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, he prepares for a guest at his home.
Speaker 1: Kristin and that guy, well.
Speaker 2: They tricked us again. We thought we were going to
see the new girlfriend from Orange County. It doesn't exist.
Speaker 1: I'm done, I'm done buying into that.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well we were betrayed once again by Bravo. It's
Kristin d and Luke and probably for the best, because
slapping down forty thousand calories of store butt croissants would
not impress a new girlfriend.
Speaker 1: Idol.
Speaker 2: Right, it's pretty tacky.
Speaker 1: I mean I think it's nice, but I don't think
anybody's really chowing down on that. No, no, no, no, no, yeah, Jesse,
I mean you gotta be kidding with his fucking adderall body.
Speaker 2: Although Kristen was cool with the krons, but croissants, but
that's because she's white trash.
Speaker 1: Well, okay, croissants are delicious though, right, I know, but sorry,
when was the last time you had, like a really
good almond croissant? Probably?
Speaker 2: Never?
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're fucking it's crazy. Yeah, oh it's crazy.
Speaker 2: I like sconesugh, really.
Speaker 1: That is concrete in the tummy.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I split it with the family, but I eat
most of it. But it's one of those things because
it's terrible.
Speaker 1: You can kind of you like a scone?
Speaker 2: Yeah, like a scone?
Speaker 1: What about a muffin?
Speaker 2: Don't like muffins?
Speaker 1: What about a donut?
Speaker 2: Don't like donuts? You don't like don't I get donuts
twice a week for my kids. I never have one.
Speaker 1: You never have one? Where do you get the donuts?
Speaker 2: Randy's Donuts?
Speaker 1: Cambodian Randy's Who isn't it Cambodians that run all the No?
Speaker 2: Not in this case. There's a story behind this dude,
although it's been owned by a couple of different people.
The gigantic donut that you see in every single movie.
Speaker 1: You get that, you go all the way out there.
Speaker 2: Dylan, there is one right around the corner from here.
It's a five minute walk from this studio. Oh yeah,
you haven't seen Randy's yet. No, they should have put
the big fucking donut on it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they should have put the donut.
Speaker 2: I think it was city codes.
Speaker 1: Yep. Okay. So Kristen says that having tea with Jesse
and his with his daughter not there is growth hell,
how the heck? What the fuck? How the fuck would
that mean? That so bizarre? We get to Aaron and Michelle.
Speaker 2: This is Jesse bringing this up. He brings up that
Aaron and Michelle might have been a little a little
bit of mixing it up. Maybe he was warming up
in the bullpen or actually taking some hits. Yeah, well,
they were still married.
Speaker 1: Kristen says that, to be clear, the person she was
talking about was another guy. So what's the implication. Is
it that she wasn't with Aaron or that she was
a little right around? Was she having a lot of fun?
Speaker 2: I think she was having some fun.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, I don't blame her.
Speaker 2: Well, it doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to unlock this mystery.
Aaron's honey had been in their cabinets for years.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and.
Speaker 2: She was banging him at his house because he lives
near Runyon Canyon with full makeup on. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And Kristen's wrong when she says, you're not hiking up
that mountain in full makeup. No, you would be shocked
to go to Runyon Canyon. I mean it's an influencer spot.
People love the vistas and people are unbelievably made up
when they go.
Speaker 2: So we'll go on dates there, oh yeah, and then
have sex at their houses if they're nearby.
Speaker 1: Yeah, totally. And while they have set or after they
have sex, they go and they pick up a little
bit of honey, and the honey's right by there. So
that's very, very convenient. So she was probably having an
affair with him. Again, I don't blame her. He's going
to throw a bash in Santa Barbara though.
Speaker 2: Now the meaning behind this is he shares that Michelle
had admitted to cheating he believes with Aaron, but also
two guys. And the way he's going to celebrate that
in getting past it is to rent a house in
Barbara and invite the entire entire cast, including the dude
that was banging his wife on a horse trail.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, and that's growth.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So Janet has a birthday. It is going to be
a Dave and buster. She rings Kristin to invite her,
even though Kristin said that she evidently wanted her baby
to parish. So she invites her to the arcade and
Kristen hangs up and says that she was looking to
Luke for help. I don't know how he would really
help ever anything. Okay, So this goes around the horn
the Santa Barbara trip, and we end at Wildflower Acupuncture. No,
the owner. She sounds like she has an iron deficiency.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she nice, very nice. I believe she was at
Elliot's birthday party.
Speaker 1: Oh cool, just iron, we'll fix that. Fertility acupuncture, I've
actually heard amazing things about it.
Speaker 2: It works. My wife did it while she was we
were doing the in vitro both pregnancies. It helps get
her pregnant.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Actual puncture is actually fantastic and I want to
do it, but I'm scared of strange people. Touching my
body ever, so I'm probably not going to do it.
Sex for getting pregnant, let's talk about it.
Speaker 2: What's that?
Speaker 1: Sex for getting pregnant?
Speaker 2: Sex for getting pregnant.
Speaker 1: Sex for the purposes of getting pregnant is very different
than sex.
Speaker 2: Yes, I've never experienced that. I believe you have.
Speaker 1: Oh, you've never experienced it.
Speaker 2: No, we just went straight to that. I had to
asseect me when I was twenty five, and the chances
of getting pregnant, you know, the natural way when you
have a visectimy, even if you reverse it is something
like thirty percent.
Speaker 1: Can I ask you something, yes, a little personal go ahead.
Why did you get a visectomy?
Speaker 2: Well, given my given my traumatic childhood, and then I
still worked at North American Insurance and like two of
my buddies there, sorry the noise behind you, this fucking
microphone stand. Yeah, my two buddies there walk up to
my cubicle one day in the office and they go, hey, Pat,
guess what we're gonna do? And I go what? They go,
get visectomies? I go, really, we can do that with
our insurance because I'd never had health insurance before. They go, yeah,
and guess what it costs five bucks. I was like,
sign me the fuck up, and I did, and all
three of us went out and did it together.
Speaker 1: And you did that so that you could never have
a child, right well, and sleep your way through Hollywood
with that?
Speaker 2: Wasn't the point was? I just never wanted to have
a kid. So I was like, why for five bucks
to get guarantee that.
Speaker 1: Five bucks is a cheap nut? Snip? It really is?
Speaker 2: Well, the doctor while we were having it, first off,
I was so young. They made me go to therapy sessions,
I think two of them to discuss it with me
because it was such a thing.
Speaker 1: You were five bucks.
Speaker 2: The doctor as he is between my legs, cutting my
little whatever thing.
Speaker 1: You're a little wiener.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he goes just so you know, I'm doing this
to permanently make sure you never have children. And I
was like, in my head, I was thinking when he
was doing that, I'm like, so what am I going
to stop you right now? Like this is the wrong
time to present this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't do this.
Speaker 2: Don't just slip away, doc, Yeah, just.
Speaker 1: Cut my penis off. For those who don't know what
it affected me is they just cut your penis off.
Speaker 2: They don't cut your.
Speaker 1: So, Nia is a sweetheart. Kristen is going through this
really heartbreaking thing. I've seen my wife go through this,
I've been through this. The whole thing is overcast the
entire time for anybody dealing with that brighter days ahead.
But yes, sex to get pregnant not mm hmmm, it's
so much.
Speaker 2: Very disconnected, right.
Speaker 1: Just mechanical, Yeah, very mechanical. It's almost like an agricultural processes,
you know, like it's not it's just you know, it's
just different.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what got you got the job done though, yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, all right. So they talk about marriage. She
says that she would marry him with a paper ring.
Well I have to yeah, and that's a Taylor Swift line,
yeah is it? Yep? Sweet. So the guy had been
thinking for proposal for a while now, and the first
guy that he tells is Danny.
Speaker 2: Danny for some reason.
Speaker 1: Hasn't told his brother, He hasn't told any of us.
This guy weirds me out, man, he really weirds me out.
Speaker 2: We talked about Luke mm hmmm. Yeah, he's definitely a
weird character. I think the reason he's he's kind of
working on this television show is just because he doesn't
belong in your normal format of this. He's just kind
of out of the box.
Speaker 1: He is weird. Yeah, but there is a evidently a
boy's chat.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, well, before we discuss that, Luke tells Danny
that Kristen makes him banger three times a day until
his dick.
Speaker 1: Falls off or something like that.
Speaker 2: I haven't done that in many years, three times in
one day. I'm sure you have because of all that
mechanical trying to make a baby thing. But I do
miss the hookups. Do you ever have the before your
wife Cecilia or when you first started dating, you'd have
sex when you got back from dinner, like a date.
Then somehow you both miraculously woke up at the same
time at like three or four in the morning, the
pound away at each other. Yeah, and then you wake
up in the morning and you do it.
Speaker 1: Again and again.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't me personally, I think that's uh, that's
in the past.
Speaker 1: That is in the past, I mean forever. Oh my god. Yeah,
And I'm okay with that. Yeah, I really am okay
with that.
Speaker 2: I liked it when it was happening. Anyway, let's get
to what you were talking about. Danny discloses there's a
boys chat. I guess this is this version of a
single chat. Uh a single is that what that signal
signal gate or something? Yeah, exclusively for iPhone owners only,
So that was a little dig at. I believe Jay Jason.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Jason's not in it, and neither is Luke because
this is for locker room top.
Speaker 2: That's right. And I guess a private chats to share
things like the mother of your daughter is a prostitute.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and and that kind of like hilarious kind of
entry is what got Jesse the award of Rookie of
the Year. This kind of chat makes me I want
to throw up thinking about these self important men in
a group chat wherein awards like that are handed out.
It's pathetic and they think that it is amazing. Okay,
twenty people in a group chat is too many people.
Speaker 2: I've never heard of one of these things. What do
you get out of it?
Speaker 1: Notifications?
Speaker 2: Yeah, those annoy me.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Never put me on a group text. I will hate
you forever.
Speaker 1: I think. I'm trying to think what is my what
is my biggest group chat? How many people are in
this thing?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: I was on one with like twenty people is my
biggest and it's too many. It's so many people.
Speaker 2: I one time went to a football game to see
the Portland Ducks or whatever play USC. I went to
that game, I was on a chat We're all going
to meet up at the rose ball right. Several people
from that game that I was on that group chat
with continued on to follow the Ducks around the country.
So every Saturday my phone would be filled with this
group chat and I could not delete it or get.
Speaker 1: You got to get out of that. You can get
out of that.
Speaker 2: You can. I think I researched it and I couldn't
find a way to get.
Speaker 1: Out of it.
Speaker 2: Take me off, you get out of it.
Speaker 1: But yeah, so this this reminds me a lot of
the Signal stuff going on right now. Not the Hegseth stuff,
but there's evidently a Silicon Valley cabal of alpha males
that all get on Signal and rally each other up
and just talk about the state of the world and
stuff and how they don't have enough money and it's
it's amazing. Yeah, So let's get to Lead's coffeehouse. Jesse
shits on the valley. You're about to move to Orange
County bub Also, your wife cheated on you for years? Yeah,
fuck off, this guy sucks. Well.
Speaker 2: They discuss Danny and Zach being drunks, like yeah, yeah,
and Danny has blacked out. Now I said that last year, Yeah,
without ever hearing any of these rumors that he was
an alcoholic.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So Danny has a little bit of a booze problem. Now.
Danny is drowning in children and love when he goes out,
there is a void that must be filled.
Speaker 2: Get daddy a drink, will you, sweetie? Then I'm gonna
go get your wife. I'm gonna hit on her too, okay, sweetie.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So he tells the chokey to go get him
a drink, calls her babe, oh no, calls himself daddy,
and then evidently the drink is taking a little bit
too long, so he smacks her girlfriend on the ass.
We got back to the white party. I am so sorry.
That is completely out of character. Well not really, because
you get drunk all the time you do that.
Speaker 2: But apparently Jason is confident Danny has learned from those mistakes.
I don't think my wife would ever let me live
that down if I engage in that behavior.
Speaker 1: No, I don't. I don't know what would compel someone
to do that. All right, so is everybody on the
show a fucking drunk?
Speaker 2: It's pretty bananas.
Speaker 1: I mean, my god, we have to talk about whether
or not Jesse is going to be making it to
this Dave and Busters. Now Janet selects the Dave and
Busters in Northridge, California. Okay, okay, little microregional segment. I
would not go to Northridge for anything. I would not
go to Northridge for anything.
Speaker 2: So think of the San Fernando Valley as a gigantic
Cereal Bowl.
Speaker 1: It's a gigantic basin.
Speaker 2: Where the show takes place typically is on one side
of the Cereal Bowl. And then yeah, thirty five miles
away on the other end of the Cereal Bowl is Northridge.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So it's north and west and it starts to
it still is Los Angeles, but it starts to become
not Los Angeles out there, and uh, and I would
go there for anything. I would not go to this
birthday party. I mean, there are so many. There's a
Dave and Busters on Hollywood and Highland. You could go there,
Go there.
Speaker 2: There's one in Glendale.
Speaker 1: It's so close.
Speaker 2: They probably wouldn't let him film there, you think, Yeah,
because no one goes to the Dave and Busters and
north Ridge.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's true. Yeah, there's probably a lot of room. Okay,
so we all get ready for the D and B
party at Brittany's. Now Zach is there. I don't know
what it is about him. I don't care about anything
that happens to him.
Speaker 2: On the lego Oh yeah, leg go ahead. Yeah I
don't either.
Speaker 1: I mean, he's he would tell me that he went
to San Sebastian or whatever and ran with the bulls,
and I would just be like, Okay, can you fucking
stop with this story. This story sucks. Just get away
from me now.
Speaker 2: I mentioned this last episode. At least Zach is organically
being brought into the show. He's been friends with Britney
for like fifteen years, so it makes sense. But they're
trying to push him too much.
Speaker 1: About well, and I'm very confused why he's friends with Brittany,
because they ask how Britney is doing because her husband
has just gone to rehab and she is staring down
the barrel at filing restraining orders, filing for divorce custody,
battles all that stuff. So her friends are checking in
on her, and she says, I'm doing okay tonight. I
just want to have a good time. And he says,
where you're going too, because I'm not gonna be there,
and we pivot the entire conversation back to Legohead and
his stupid feud with Iago aka Janet. He is a
vacuum for melodrama that does not move the needle at all.
Speaker 2: I don't see where he goes on this show. Yeah,
all right, so where is it where? Luke for some
reason mentions that guy chat right here. It's right here,
so he's here too, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Luke's here. He's a production puppet. I gotta tell you,
this guy is an odd ball. He's from Colorado, so
he's not like I don't want to I don't want
to paint Colorado with a broad brush, but like he's
not from like Georgia. I feel like you have a
little bit more of a solid base to you if
you were from somewhere that wasn't Colorado.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm with you. I feel like he might a little.
Speaker 1: Too much weed, you think a little bit too much.
Speaker 2: But I think Kristin, given her kind of shallow exploration
of men throughout Los Angeles for the better part of
her younghood. I think she wanted to feel like she
was with someone more grounded, and that's how she found
I still don't think it's going to fucking work out.
Speaker 1: I don't know that he is grounded at all, though.
And can I tell you something. I don't think he
smokes weed.
Speaker 2: Well, maybe straight edge.
Speaker 1: I think he's pretty straight edge, but he.
Speaker 2: Brings up that. I feel like he gets.
Speaker 1: Dog walked by production.
Speaker 2: Oh please, they are using him in ways that I
never would have conceived.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So Danny told Luke something a little disturbing that
he heard on the guy's chat, and he tells Brittany,
Kristin and Zach maybe that's not but maybe that's why
you're not in the chat. But yeah, and listen, I
we we're gonna get to this a little bit later on.
I'm not saying that the chief scarlet letter offense is
Luke spilling this. The chief offense is all of the
shit that's said in that chat much worse. But I
did say when I was watching this with my wife,
I was like, I would never I would never speak
to that guy ever again. If I was dead. I
would never speak to that guy again. And she was like, oh,
so you know there's we'll get to it. We'll get
to it later. This is a giant no, no, giant no.
Speaker 2: No agreed. Also, I want to say with Jesse, why
make your wife Solow rent at a zero onto that
rate fifty? I hate to get stuck on this, but
for me, you're having set with a billionaire, no less
than eighteen grand, not a penny less. Yeah, you're gonna
turn my asshole into a fire hydrant. You're gonna pick.
Speaker 1: I would say ten grand. I would say ten grand
would be my my floor for a tryst with a billionaire. Yeah, yeah,
ten at night. I think you can stalk away some
pretty good funny with that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that'll get you. Like, that's like two months rent
in Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: Yeah, some groceries, Yeah, but one night. I mean you
do that a couple times a month.
Speaker 2: I mean, well, there you go.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So we get to D and B's, Danny's gonna
get fucked up. Everybody arrives Aaron's. Let's talk about Aaron.
He's very weird. He has very very horrifying kind of
raccoon skinning eyes. Does he creep you.
Speaker 2: I don't know he does. He likes to be on
television too much.
Speaker 1: I think.
Speaker 2: I don't think she realizes she's with a camera whore. Yeah, yeah,
I had realized that he'd been filmed before.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's got a honey company. He's trying to get
off right. So Jesse eventually gets there. Danny's popping a
white claw, maybe a die coke. Yeh, Sierra missed.
Speaker 2: To night away from the kids.
Speaker 1: Let him have fun, I guess now.
Speaker 2: Jesse arrives wearing that white shirt, and Michelle mentions that
when they were together, he forbid her from wearing makeup
or not wearing makeup, that she.
Speaker 1: Didn't like her wearing makeup because he didn't want to
get in on his clothes.
Speaker 2: Prince Charming over here.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, like be really worried about him charming the
pants off of some people that work at Cliffside because
he's so charming. Describing any of the people in the
show's charming is just crazy. So Janet goes through her
Dave and Buster's game plan.
Speaker 2: She maximizes the Dave and Buster's experience.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she says, I'm such a loser and I don't
know what's worse. I'm such a loser. I'm such a nerd.
Janet's not a loser, And when she says that, she
knows that, and that's what makes it so awful. Janet's
whole DNB thing is quite grating. But Brittany has a
quick thing to get off her chest.
Speaker 2: Right out of the gate, she wastes no time. Why
not get the party started. Before the party starts, she
lets her know that Jesse's telling everybody that she's a
reasonably priced prostitute. Is that extra dagger?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. But Danny heads over and they go, hey, Danny,
you know about this? Did you hear anything about Jesse
saying that the shows a reasonably priced ooker. In the
group chat, he is on the stand and he is
being cross examined to death. He there is no way
for him to get out of it. He looks like
he's wearing some kind of disguise.
Speaker 2: He's fucked. I would have just said ask Luke.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know that that would
have worked. But you know, now, this is where I
said I would never trust Luke or talk to him again.
And Cec I was watching with and she says so
this is Luke's fault, and I'm not saying that it's
Luke's fault. Obviously it's Michelle's fault because she's a reasonably
priced sucker. Now I'm kidding. It's obviously Jesse's fault. He's
a disgusting, little, vile creature. But it is a thing.
I'm not sure if women have a similar coat of arms.
But like men, men don't tell their wives everything.
Speaker 2: Now, but they don't either, They don't tell us. No
one holds a secret better than a woman.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you anything.
Speaker 2: I don't even know what my wife's up to. I mean,
hold a secret so well, only their pillow notes.
Speaker 1: The other day, one of my friends got popped for,
you know, sleeping around, and the girlfriend went on a
bit of a scorched starts campaign. It started, you know,
telling everybody in the network that.
Speaker 2: He's a cheating son of a bitch.
Speaker 1: He's the son of a bitch. My wife tells me,
did you know about this? I was like, yeah, I
knew about it. She was like, why didn't you tell me?
I was like, because I don't tell you things that
are going to bog you down. I don't tell you
things that someone else has explicitly told me not to
tell you, and you know why, Because I'm a good person,
that's why. Okay, good one. But I don't know if
women have the same kind of group think that men
have when it comes to our dark skirt.
Speaker 2: Or they cover for each other. You think, Oh, I
hear things now about friends. Oh yeah, she was cheating
on him? Oh really?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah? Anyways, Oh, Michelle weeps. Am I am I
a pig? You don't if a friend told you something
in confidence, would you tell your wife?
Speaker 2: Well, I knew a very close friend of mine was
cheating on his girl living girlfriend for a better part
of the decade, and I was friends with her too.
I never told her.
Speaker 1: I know. It's hard, it's weird.
Speaker 2: Actually, the most hurtful thing is, even after the breakup
and they're still quite friendly, she will not acknowledge that
that was ever a possibility, and I just keep my
bell shut. Yeah, well whatever, I mean, he traveled a lot,
pat but I'm pretty sure he wasn't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, yah know, yeah, the miles he put on
that credit card, my good.
Speaker 2: Well, Michelle weeps, and Britt apologizes for.
Speaker 1: Pointing out, well, you get in the comments. Let us
know if you have a girl's chat or if the secrecy.
Speaker 2: It's not a girl's chat. It's just they know things
and they can keep a secret better than guys.
Speaker 1: You think.
Speaker 2: Yes, Well, Britt apologizes for pointing out that her ex
husband is telling everyone that she's a reasonably priced prostitute,
and then Michelle brings up that Jesse has doesn't give
her any money. That sounds very Jesse. I don't know
how he gets away with it, though, because there is
a legal system here.
Speaker 1: That I'm blown away with with what ma and get
away within the state. I thought they were like really
strict laws and people are just like, no, not doing that.
Speaker 2: Well, my dad had quite the scheme back in the day.
He moved to Florida and you could go there that
was like a like a safe place for deadbee dads
where they wouldn't have to It was the one state
that you wouldn't have to you couldn't extract money from
their paycheck. Yeah, smart guys, smart cat, Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, Florida's nice. Yeah, Florida's nice. So Danny's like, uh. Anyways,
Luke heads over and walks right behind Danny again, dog
walked by production and he goes what's going on and
Danny goes, uh, and Luke in this weird way, says,
I think I know what's going on without any remorse
or bashfulness or tail between the legs. I'm telling you
he's in add duck.
Speaker 2: Well, he tells Jesse the jigs up, Luke dropped a
dime on you.
Speaker 1: And Jason continues to be fucking amazing. He's so happy
I am not in that fucking chat. Evidently there is
a problem with leaks in the chat, and Jesse goes
full you know, master of the pledge class in this moment,
and he's like, yeah, I mean, I know you're not
the mole. I don't know about this fucking guy, Jesse,
You're not the mob. And also, who the fuck would
say things that cannot be unearthed in a thirty person
group chat. You're an idiot if you're doing that. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, uh so they're pondering whether or not Danny's the mole,
and it's worth mentioning a mole is taller than Danny.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know about worth. Yeah, but yeah we
cut tow we cut to Janet and Jason goes, are
you double fisting too gigantic? Medieval sized beards, and she goes, yeah,
all right, so okay, Michelle is very very upset.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but she she's able to get past it very
quickly and move on to planning.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she hatches a plan, and that plan is to
turn this in to an episode of Survivor and vote
his candle snuffed. She goes around the horn and gets
support from a couple of people, and then the votes
start going Jesse's way, and Michelle begins to cry the
way I would imagine a child cries if there are
ice cream scoop falls on the floor. It's just a
stuck weeping. And I don't I who can get into
the head of Michelle. They're both, they're both, they're perfect
for each other. They there were.
Speaker 2: Perfect, they were Yeah. I am waiting for the Aaron
Michelle collapse. Oh yeah, this show's good.
Speaker 1: It's so good.
Speaker 2: That last episode was a bummer.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but well they all are. Yeah, but it's a really,
really good show. So I don't know if Michelle's crying
because the votes aren't going her way or from the
cumulative torture that he's inflicting upon her. But he hears
about this, this vote, and he says, here's the type
of person that Michelle is. Instead of coming to me,
she'll go around and collect votes to vote me out
of my own home. The way that Jesse speaks about Michelle,
Oh my god, he's one of the most punishable people. Dude.
Mm hmm, oh my gosh. Who did you recently say
that you wanted to have a boxing match with?
Speaker 2: Oh god?
Speaker 1: Is it Weihan?
Speaker 2: The end? Yeah? Yeah, okay, Uh, I don't like Jesse.
He reminds me of every douchebag I've had to interact
with in Los Angeles socially.
Speaker 1: Yeah, for the better part of twenty years. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I don't want to box him for money yet.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, Yeah, I've met a couple of Jacent's. You
meet them, you think they're douchebags. You're if you're forced
to Jason's Jesse's Jesse's my bad. The guy that I
reminds me a lot of Jesse is named Jason. Anyways,
if you're forced to be around them, you can accept
that they're a douchebag, but they're fine. Then if you
really get to know them, they're subhuman. There's something dark
going on that's probably too big a generalization, but Michelle
heads over to talk to Kristen. Get to Know. This
is where she begins to cry.
Speaker 2: And Happy birth Day two.
Speaker 1: The milk bar cake gets brought out and Michelle says
that what she's going through is worse than what Brittany
is going through and that is wrong, That is actually incorrect.
Jesse may be worse than Jack's, but you are not
going through worse than Brittany. In the comments, let us
know about your secrets, about your loves, about your lies,
let us know what you think the rating system should
be or improved. On to be And Happy weekend, And
I'm Dylan, that's Bat and we're saying goodbye later, dudes.
Speaker 2: He is