Speaker 1: Welcome to Soul Unfiltered, a raw, real and liberating voice
Speaker 1: of the soul. I'm fay Lou, and this is not
Speaker 1: your perfectly polished love and light kind of show. This
Speaker 1: is where sacred storytelling meets spiritual tools for soul awakening.
Speaker 1: I'm an intuitive energy healer, certified grief educator, and spiritual coach.
Speaker 1: I create a welcoming place for healing and for you
Speaker 1: to share your truth and reclaim your authentic self. Here
Speaker 1: we laughter the tears, live with intention, and rise to
Speaker 1: the moments of our growth. This is your space to
Speaker 1: be real, be seen, and come home to yourself where
Speaker 1: you can be unfiltered. This is Soul Unfiltered. Hello everyone,
Speaker 1: and welcome. This is fay Loo. I'm an intuitive healing
Speaker 1: consultant at fay Inspired Healing, a grief educator at host
Speaker 1: of this little spiritual storytelling journey. We have been together,
Speaker 1: and today's episode is a little different. It's not only
Speaker 1: another story. It is a full circle completion episode, a
Speaker 1: moments to look back, gather the lessons, bless the road,
Speaker 1: and ask what has my story telling journey really been about.
Speaker 1: When I first started thinking about this final episode, I
Speaker 1: thought perhaps I would talk about endings, the ending of
Speaker 1: a radio chapter, my time in Missouri, and the ending
Speaker 1: of one long relationship karma. But the more I sat
Speaker 1: with this episode, the more I thought that this is
Speaker 1: not really about endings. We live in drastically uncertain times
Speaker 1: in this decade, and considering how slowly things moved for
Speaker 1: me in recent years to finish some projects in my
Speaker 1: mind anyway, such as home remodeling, I began to lose
Speaker 1: myself in self doubt. So I decided to examine my
Speaker 1: own levels of self trust and see where that has
Speaker 1: taken me. It is about learning to trust what I
Speaker 1: sense and what I know, trusting what my body tells me,
Speaker 1: and especially trusting what spirit has been showing me all
Speaker 1: along for years. In recent years, in spite of moving
Speaker 1: across time zones multiple times, trusting what a chapter is
Speaker 1: complete to cross into a new finishing line. By following
Speaker 1: my impulsive heart, I finally heard this is where you belong.
Speaker 1: Now I am sitting in Utah now, on top of
Speaker 1: a little mountain. I can see so many times in
Speaker 1: my life when I spent weeks, months, even years agonizing
Speaker 1: over some decisions. I would obsess over slipless lights, am
Speaker 1: I doing the right thing. Am I being fair? My
Speaker 1: being fair to myself? My being too sensitive? Am I
Speaker 1: too harsh? Should I be more patient? Should I listen more?
Speaker 1: Did I miscalculate the timing? Should I let this go? No,
Speaker 1: this is silly. Yes, it's a great idea. On and
Speaker 1: on and on it went, and many times I listened
Speaker 1: to advice from well meaning people, teachers, friends, family, a
Speaker 1: husband who later became an ex husband, authority figures, people
Speaker 1: who may have loved me, or cared about me, or
Speaker 1: had their own motives about what I should do. But
Speaker 1: they were not living inside my body. They were not
Speaker 1: living inside my frightened herves. They were also not carrying
Speaker 1: my soul contracts, my grief, my intuition, my tune into spirit,
Speaker 1: or the consequences of my own choices. And the truth is,
Speaker 1: many times, actually most times, to my dismay and disappointment,
Speaker 1: I discovered that my first instinct was usually right. Ah.
Speaker 1: The disappointment not always loud, not even dramatic, just almost
Speaker 1: impossible to explain how or why, just a quiet knowing
Speaker 1: for which I did not have words for. It was
Speaker 1: a feeling in my body that I know that I
Speaker 1: did not know how to describe. Still it came in
Speaker 1: the form of a little tightening in the body, maybe hesitation,
Speaker 1: a loss of words, staring into space, a lump in
Speaker 1: my heart, uh, a tightness in my throat as well,
Speaker 1: losing my A feeling that something was not aligned, not
Speaker 1: quite right, a sense that I was being pulled somewhere
Speaker 1: or away from something, and instead of trusting it, I
Speaker 1: would put that knowing on trial. I would cross examine
Speaker 1: myself like I'm in my own court and treat my
Speaker 1: own intuition like a hostile witness. Are you sure? Do
Speaker 1: you have evidence? What's the wind? Who's profiting from this?
Speaker 1: Are you? Are you not? Why? And meanwhile, my soul
Speaker 1: was sitting there saying, faye, you already told yourself you
Speaker 1: know this of a sudden. Let me talk about what
Speaker 1: I have learned from signs, spirit, food, grief, houses, relationships, animals,
Speaker 1: even the weather, writing, radio, and the mountains of Utah.
Speaker 1: And the lesson is this. The signs were not meant
Speaker 1: to replace my knowing. They were helping me return to it.
Speaker 1: The purpose of spiritual guidance for me is not dependency.
Speaker 1: The purpose really is remembrance, And by that I mean
Speaker 1: my own wisdom, and the purpose of signs is not
Speaker 1: to make us chase signs forever. The purpose of signs
Speaker 1: is to help us remember how to trust ourselves. And
Speaker 1: note that there are so encouraging reminders from spirit along
Speaker 1: our journeys through life. So this final episode is not
Speaker 1: about becoming more superstitious. It is about becoming more discerning.
Speaker 1: It is also about learning to hear the language of
Speaker 1: the soul, your own soul, without abandoning common sense, being grounded,
Speaker 1: or simply personal responsibility. Self trust is biological, intuitive and
Speaker 1: also spiritual. Biological because the boom body often knows where
Speaker 1: the mind has language your intuition. Because perception arrives as
Speaker 1: a quiet signal, a gut feeling, a pull, a pause,
Speaker 1: an inner yes or an inner no. Your chakras or
Speaker 1: power centers may be misaligned, wide open, too far to
Speaker 1: feel all the wrong energies, or too tightly wound up,
Speaker 1: wrapped up closed, missing out on information that can't get
Speaker 1: through to us. The energetic cords pulling into the right
Speaker 1: or wrong directions give you an idea where energetic attractions are.
Speaker 1: Withdrawals need to take place from your energy system, from
Speaker 1: your body, and your aura can be tattered and torn
Speaker 1: or perfectly intact, provide more information about the energies your
Speaker 1: body is receiving to inform you of the options you
Speaker 1: can take in your life. All these energies give you messages,
Speaker 1: but as you have time to see, listen, and feel, touch,
Speaker 1: smell and what does that look like? Often in spiritual messages,
Speaker 1: because sometimes that knowing is supported by spirit through signs, dreams, numbers,
Speaker 1: and chronicities, flickering lights, birds, food, timing, and that unmistakable
Speaker 1: feeling that something larger than ourselves is participating in our
Speaker 1: lives at times. Yes, at times they're missing, but they're there.
Speaker 1: And here's a tricky part. We often override our own instincts.
Speaker 1: Our rational minds sometimes get in the way of our
Speaker 1: inner knowing, our inner wisdom and intuition and what lies
Speaker 1: in our hearts. Animals do not seem to have this problem,
Speaker 1: though they don't form committees and have meetings before trusting
Speaker 1: themselves for making a decision. They don't ask, what if
Speaker 1: I'm being too sensitive? They don't ask, uh, maybe I
Speaker 1: should digest this thing that my whole body just pooked up.
Speaker 1: That's my cats. They sense, They decide, and then move on.
Speaker 1: Everything's in the moment for animals, right with their instincts,
Speaker 1: which brings me to one of the great spiritual teachers
Speaker 1: of my recent life. You'd be surprised what that is.
Speaker 1: Turkey vultures. Yes, the humble, not so pretty turkey vultures.
Speaker 1: They fly around Missouri over the house since I lived
Speaker 1: near a lake, and as I was preparing to leave
Speaker 1: my Missouri house and move to Utah, I was emptying
Speaker 1: out the refrigerator and freezer, and there the freezer was
Speaker 1: an old, a thick bacon that had been sitting there
Speaker 1: for years, I think about three years. Never cooked it,
Speaker 1: didn't want to. It's one of those strange leftovers from
Speaker 1: a previous life. Bob, my ex husband, had bought it
Speaker 1: years earlier for a neighbor who had been complaining of
Speaker 1: not about not being able to find the right bacon
Speaker 1: that she wanted. On a lark, he decided to buy
Speaker 1: her a package and gave it to her. She didn't
Speaker 1: want it, so naturally ended up in my freezer.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 1: And for some reason, I never cooked meats that someone
Speaker 1: else buys and things that I will cook it and
Speaker 1: clean up after myself afterwards, not the mystery meat that
Speaker 1: my neighbor from Wyoming hunted down over the weekend and
Speaker 1: that package greasy MESSI bacon either looked really pretty in
Speaker 1: the package, unce you open it up, it's all over
Speaker 1: lots of degrees. Certain later on in the day. There
Speaker 1: are many creatures by a lake who are very grateful
Speaker 1: to forage for my refrigerator fits. So I was trying
Speaker 1: to be generous there. So I used my best pitching
Speaker 1: red arm to land a whole lump of bacon my
Speaker 1: backyard lawn to empty the freezer. And I thought maybe
Speaker 1: a fox would come by later and you know, take
Speaker 1: it back to its den just below the lake in
Speaker 1: front of my house. Pretty cool. I turned around and
Speaker 1: went about my business, and turns out, only three or
Speaker 1: four minutes later I saw movement outside the window. There
Speaker 1: were actually four turkey vultures standing on the lawn. They
Speaker 1: were fast. They do patrol the lake area all day long,
Speaker 1: flying overhead. Not just one. Four of them showed up
Speaker 1: within minutes. I didn't know that fast. I didn't know
Speaker 1: that bacon had such a smell that they could smell
Speaker 1: way up above in the sky. You know. They arrived
Speaker 1: like they had a reversvation, had a reservation planned. You know,
Speaker 1: they were pecking away at the bay bacon that I
Speaker 1: tossed in the lawn, so I didn't pay any further attention.
Speaker 1: I was just glad that somebody came by for chunk
Speaker 1: of bacon. And within minutes I turned around again, they
Speaker 1: started to fly away. I was trying to capture a
Speaker 1: photo on camera of them eating bacon, and then I failed.
Speaker 1: They flew away too quickly, and a few minutes later
Speaker 1: the grass was empty, the lawn was cleaned out except
Speaker 1: for the bacon fat. The meaty part was gone, but
Speaker 1: funny enough, the white fatty part was still there on
Speaker 1: the lawn, untouched, separated from the salty meaty part.
Speaker 2: And I laughed out loud. I thought that was the
Speaker 2: funniest thing I had seen all week. Vultures were turning
Speaker 2: down food. They left the bacon meat and left the
Speaker 2: fat behind. How funny is that?
Speaker 1: I think about that turkey Vultures eats carry yah. They
Speaker 1: are nature's cleanup crew. They perform this sacred ecological sanitation
Speaker 1: work for nature. They clean what is dead, They clear decay,
Speaker 1: they transform what is no longer useful than the landscape.
Speaker 1: It's great work, sacred work when you think about it,
Speaker 1: But bacon fat no way. Even the Turkey vultures had
Speaker 1: some boundaries watching their diets. And I was still laughing.
Speaker 1: I'm still laughing thinking about the scene that I saw
Speaker 1: in that afternoon, was just cracking up. And I thought,
Speaker 1: if turkey vultures can trust themselves enough to leave behind
Speaker 1: what does not serve their bodies, maybe we humans can
Speaker 1: trust ourselves enough to leave behind what does not serve
Speaker 1: our souls. It's funny, but it's also profound when you
Speaker 1: think about it, because how many times in our lives
Speaker 1: have we eaten, absorbed, tolerated, carried, explained, defended, or metabolize
Speaker 1: something that our body, heartened spirit already rejected but we
Speaker 1: just weren't paying attention. Oh, what's another doughnut, my husband
Speaker 1: would say, combined with this third cup of coffee followed
Speaker 1: by diet coke. How many times did our stomach tighten,
Speaker 1: our chest clothes, our energy drop, our sleep change, our
Speaker 1: joy disappear, And still we did something that we didn't
Speaker 1: feel quite right about, just because we did not want
Speaker 1: to waste anything. And I do remember a young lady
Speaker 1: who was helping me through a weight loss many years ago.
Speaker 1: Better to waste it in the garbage can than to
Speaker 1: waste it in our bodies. When it comes to food,
Speaker 1: it's full right, right? How many times do we call
Speaker 1: it confusion when very often it was really self abandonment.
Speaker 1: We forgot our own well being. That is part of
Speaker 1: what this whole season of my life has been teaching
Speaker 1: me in this past year or so. Self trust is
Speaker 1: not just trusting the obvious. Self trust is trusting the
Speaker 1: subtle signs of misalignment with ourselves before we enter a crisis.
Speaker 1: Self trust does not believe every thought, every fear, every sign,
Speaker 1: or every emotional wave, but it is discernment. Discernment is
Speaker 1: a bridge between intuition and wisdom. How useful is that?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: How practical? It's kind of like pausing before you throw
Speaker 1: a punch when you get mad, you use a little
Speaker 1: bit of discernment there. Self trust is not only trusting
Speaker 1: the signs. It's also trusting our own boundaries as well,
Speaker 1: trusting the pause and trusting being able to say no
Speaker 1: or no thanks if you want to be more polite
Speaker 1: about it. It's also trusting the peace that arise when
Speaker 1: the body finally stops arguing with itself, or we stop
Speaker 1: arguing with ourselves. I do that a lot. It's a
Speaker 1: habit is learning the difference between fear and intuition, fear
Speaker 1: and wisdom, fear versus caution, between old trauma and the
Speaker 1: present truth, present day knowledge, between a spiritual sign and
Speaker 1: maybe wishful thinking, between compassion and self abandonment, between being
Speaker 1: patient and just waiting it out, between healing something and
Speaker 1: continuing to live inside of it. And the last one
Speaker 1: was very important to me, healing something versus continuing to
Speaker 1: live inside of it. M how about stepping outside? Because
Speaker 1: my Missouri house became one of the greatest classrooms of
Speaker 1: my recent life. When I bought that house, I saw beauty,
Speaker 1: I saw potential. I saw what it could become in
Speaker 1: spite of everything, a fixed upper And that is one
Speaker 1: of my gifts, but also one of my lessons, sometimes
Speaker 1: hard earned. I can walk into something neglected, heavy, outdated,
Speaker 1: full of cobwebs, or energetically complicated and heavy in terms
Speaker 1: of vibration, but still see the lights inside of it,
Speaker 1: because that's the potential for it that I can create.
Speaker 1: I can see the healed version of the way I
Speaker 1: see my clients walking away laughing after an attumin session,
Speaker 1: an energy session. I can see the beauty under the
Speaker 1: dust when a client walks away, standing straight, with a
Speaker 1: new glimmer in their eyes, when their tears of grief
Speaker 1: are finally released. And that is wonderful when I'm working
Speaker 1: with a client, or writing or teaching, because sometimes I
Speaker 1: stay too long trying to restore what was never meant
Speaker 1: to be. I love how I restore my Missouri house
Speaker 1: to bright and beautiful space. Sits in a community filled
Speaker 1: with woods, a lake, and wildlife. I love funny squirrels too,
Speaker 1: while they're hilarious. But the house also carried a lot
Speaker 1: in its past history of wear and tear and grief
Speaker 1: from past occupants, compulse of me compulsive healer that led
Speaker 1: to repairs and many renovations and updates, relationship residues of
Speaker 1: past grief and abuse, and the heaviness that has since
Speaker 1: been clear through house healings. That was nice. Sometimes you
Speaker 1: need help, professional help, ghostbusters. My nervous system felt the
Speaker 1: heavy energy imprints from the past, and I forgot to
Speaker 1: separate myself from a house that I adopted to heal.
Speaker 1: I became the house, the house became me. We became
Speaker 1: little mirrors of each other. I healed the houses. I
Speaker 1: healed myself, though in the process. After about four years
Speaker 1: we became a bit entangled for a while House and I.
Speaker 1: But then it occurred to me that the house was
Speaker 1: not only a property, it was a mirror of my
Speaker 1: work for myself and for others. It showed me the
Speaker 1: pattern of trying to fix and heal everyone and everything
Speaker 1: in my care. I'm sitting at a restaurant having a meal,
Speaker 1: and I'm cleaning the table for the server. Why am
Speaker 1: I doing that? I should tip myself and trying to
Speaker 1: make everything better, even when it cost me too much.
Speaker 1: And a deeper lesser came to me not to not
Speaker 1: too recently either. Just because I can heal something does
Speaker 1: not mean I meant to keep living inside of it
Speaker 1: or next to it, above it, or below it. I
Speaker 1: don't need to be anywhere near it any more. That
Speaker 1: line is important. Just because I can heal something does
Speaker 1: not mean I meant to keep living inside it. That
Speaker 1: line is important because the house also became a mirror
Speaker 1: of my relationships as well. That I had been healing
Speaker 1: for the longest time, and some I have finished and
Speaker 1: some are still working on. Sometimes it takes lifetimes to
Speaker 1: heal relationships with yourself and with others beyond lifetimes, but
Speaker 1: in the present time could be in the past, it
Speaker 1: could be in the future as well. And just because
Speaker 1: I was trying to heal someone in my marriage also
Speaker 1: did not mean I was meant to stay in that
Speaker 1: relationship either. Sometimes of final healing is not another repair.
Speaker 1: Sometimes of final healing is simply leaving, and leaving is
Speaker 1: not abandonment. Leaving is really completion to allow a new
Speaker 1: cycle to begin. Leaving is completion. It can be great,
Speaker 1: and sometimes leaving is also following my soul's journey, and
Speaker 1: leaving can be the final act of love, not only
Speaker 1: for another person or place, but for ourselves. This is
Speaker 1: where my reserve now stands. The house is for sale
Speaker 1: summer season. The market is uncertain, the timing is unknown.
Speaker 1: The world feels chaotic. The real estate market is not
Speaker 1: exactly a woman fuzzy right now, and leaving a house
Speaker 1: empty while waiting for it to sell is not cheap.
Speaker 1: It's also not exactly the most rational or fiscally responsible
Speaker 1: thing for me to do to myself. And I have
Speaker 1: been in the business world for years and I know
Speaker 1: numbers do matter. But I also know this. My heart
Speaker 1: matters more, my nervous system matters more, My inner piece
Speaker 1: matters more. And what is the cost of my inner piece?
Speaker 1: A lot more than what the price of the house
Speaker 1: is worth. My body has been telling me for a
Speaker 1: long time that my time healing me Missouri is complete.
Speaker 1: Missouri was the healing house of my life. While I
Speaker 1: healed the home and the land, I healed myself. While
Speaker 1: I emptied the house, I released energies and emotions that
Speaker 1: no longer served me, And they were not even mine,
Speaker 1: not all of them anyway. They belong to prior occupants,
Speaker 1: to the historic imprint of the land, to my husband, now,
Speaker 1: my ex, now friend, and now, hilariously also someone I
Speaker 1: give dating advice to. How funny is that he doesn't
Speaker 1: give me dating advice, He just wants me to stick around. Sorry.
Speaker 1: Utah is a hearthouse now, and sometimes the soul makes
Speaker 1: a decision before the checking account feels comfortable.
Speaker 2: Ah.
Speaker 1: That does not mean we ignore reality. It means we
Speaker 1: include the heart and the calculation. Sometimes the heart means
Speaker 1: much more than anything in the world, right, because what
Speaker 1: is the cause of staying where your heart no longer lives?
Speaker 1: You're empty and the house is empty. So for me,
Speaker 1: this move to Utah is not simply about logistics and
Speaker 1: being in drier climate without bugs or with fewer bugs anyway,
Speaker 1: It's not even simply about Bob being in Utah, although
Speaker 1: of course Bob has been part of this long, complicated,
Speaker 1: karma filled and sometimes absurd journey and storyline. Oh by now,
Speaker 1: I think sixteen separations, twelve or thirteen moves my lost
Speaker 1: count Really I got to go back and check my inventory,
Speaker 1: gift moves and houses and states and U haul truck rentals.
Speaker 1: But Utah is not about moving for a man. Utah
Speaker 1: is about moving for myself. I love Utah. It's so beautiful.
Speaker 1: Utah is where my heart recognizes itself. The beauty, the heights,
Speaker 1: the vibration of Utah fuel so elevated and heavily to me,
Speaker 1: especially in the winter snow. I love winter. I don't
Speaker 1: even care that it's cold. Yeah coats, I got boots,
Speaker 1: I got socks. The winter is just pure beauty. Even
Speaker 1: when it's blowing crazy snow and crazy wind and it's
Speaker 1: the house feels haunted because it's howling in the wind,
Speaker 1: It's still gorgeous. The mountains, the altitude, the light, the
Speaker 1: open sky, the way the land rises. All of it
Speaker 1: speaks to something inside of me. Yutah has something vast, strong,
Speaker 1: ancient and beautiful holding. The mountains, the clouds, the moving
Speaker 1: clouds speak to me. The mountains they hold me now.
Speaker 1: In many Asian traditions, monasteries, temples, and places of sanctuary
Speaker 1: they were built high, high up off the ground, in
Speaker 1: high elevations on mountaintops card to axis, probably because monks
Speaker 1: and nuns also liked to be left alone in contemplation
Speaker 1: and peace and quiet, away from the hustle and bustle
Speaker 1: of the world. There's something about ascending, about leaving behind
Speaker 1: the noise of ordinary life, but being closer to the
Speaker 1: sky's snows, silence and prayer and contemplation. It's as if
Speaker 1: God feels closer at the higher elevation. Of course, when
Speaker 1: people pray, we'll look up in the sky right forgetting them.
Speaker 1: God's right next to us. The world becomes quieter and
Speaker 1: the mind becomes clearer. Body feels less crowded by other
Speaker 1: people's energies. It's nice. The cold winds. They clear your energies.
Speaker 1: They wake you up and test your foothold on the ground.
Speaker 1: The earth rocks. The mountains not just a view. The
Speaker 1: mountains are not just a view. It's a field. It's
Speaker 1: a field of clean, pure energies. A refuge certainly a
Speaker 1: perspective egos eye perspective world everything is so small and
Speaker 1: insignificant when you are at a higher perspective. It's protection.
Speaker 1: It's also sacred space. And for me, Utah also carries
Speaker 1: an ancient feeling, very ancient, hundreds of years past, almost
Speaker 1: like a past life memory, of Utah being finally a
Speaker 1: place of refuge, unity, family, survival, and the courage to
Speaker 1: believe and live differently as well based on your own
Speaker 1: soul's convictions. A place where souls gather because they have
Speaker 1: to survive persecution and hardship, starvation, and the daring to
Speaker 1: be different in their own beliefs, different from the masses.
Speaker 1: And that courage has resurfaced in me too. The courage
Speaker 1: to live apart from family expectations and hands. Courage to
Speaker 1: be the one who leaves the home and explore outside
Speaker 1: of myself and outside of our family and our culture
Speaker 1: and our beliefs. Courage to be misunderstood, courage to build
Speaker 1: a life around my own calling, and courage to say
Speaker 1: this is where my heart belongs, not home, and this year,
Speaker 1: that courage has another layer of meaning for me. If
Speaker 1: you're feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or in grief, I'm here to help.
Speaker 1: I'm fade out into the healer and founder of Faye
Speaker 1: Inspired Feeling. Through soul guided sessions, I help you reconnect
Speaker 1: with your body's wisdom and inner truth, whether you're healing
Speaker 1: from loss, letting go of pain, or rising into elevated energies.
Speaker 1: My work combines energy clearing, grief support, and spiritual coaching.
Speaker 1: Schedule a session or learn more at Fay Inspired Healing
Speaker 1: dot com. In twenty twenty six, I turn sixty out ry, Huh?
Speaker 1: How dare I say that? In Chinese astrology that means
Speaker 1: I have completed a full sixty year cycle and returned
Speaker 1: to the fire Horse year of my birth. Yes, I
Speaker 1: was born on the year the fire Horse. That's not
Speaker 1: just a birthday, and that is a full circle moment
Speaker 1: for me in a lifetime. A lot of people they
Speaker 1: die by age sixty one. Well, that happened to be
Speaker 1: my late husband. Is my mortality imminent?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Not really, I got a few more things to do
Speaker 1: before I kick it. Is the wheel returning to its
Speaker 1: original flame, but with the wisdom, some wisdom anyway, of
Speaker 1: everything lived in between that full circle moment. In the
Speaker 1: Native American tradition, when you hit sixty, you're kind of
Speaker 1: considered as why you kind of know stuff by now,
Speaker 1: some stuff you still got more to learn, depending on
Speaker 1: how long you're going to live in this lifetime, or
Speaker 1: you keep learning in the next lifetime, or back home
Speaker 1: in spirit. Now I'm not the young fire horse entering
Speaker 1: the world for the first time anymore. I'm more seasoned
Speaker 1: fire horse returning to myself, a woman who's gone through
Speaker 1: grief and loves and immigration, widdlehood, marriage, divorce, teaching, healing,
Speaker 1: psychic development, radio writing, and more, relocations to enough countries,
Speaker 1: and anyone nervous system should reasonably expect or want moving
Speaker 1: as a painful process, especially when you own too much
Speaker 1: stuff in your hoarder or you live with a hoarder.
Speaker 1: I highly recommend donations, landfills, recycling, selling stuff on Facebook,
Speaker 1: giving stuff away, or simply using it as firewood. Highly
Speaker 1: recommend all of the above to minimize your move in
Speaker 1: case you're going to do that soon. The fire horse
Speaker 1: has come full circle. We no longer running for the past,
Speaker 1: walking forward with so newly gained wisdom, a new voice,
Speaker 1: and more self trust. At sixty, I do not feel
Speaker 1: that I'm entering any decline. My brain is still sharp.
Speaker 1: Unless I'm taking melatonin and drinking lots of milk and
Speaker 1: eating pasta, then I'm out for a good few hours
Speaker 1: of sleep. My left knee might disagree with me that
Speaker 1: I'm not entering decline, just a part of me that
Speaker 1: kind of bugs me. I feel that I'm entering older freedom,
Speaker 1: especially being whittled and divorced, free now so free on
Speaker 1: a very fine, interesting, introspective, solitary journey. Silence is golden
Speaker 1: at this time of my life, a little bit more seasoned,
Speaker 1: more initiated, less afraid, and certainly less available for nonsense
Speaker 1: as well. Saying though is so much easier for me
Speaker 1: now than ever before. It's very free. There's a freedom
Speaker 1: that comes when you have lived life enough to stop
Speaker 1: asking permission to be yourself. There's a lot of freedom
Speaker 1: realizing that I've earned my knowing. I've got enough education,
Speaker 1: thankfully those student loans, to earn my knowiness, and I've
Speaker 1: earned my voice, and I've earned my right to choose
Speaker 1: where my heart feels alive, and that's wherever I choose
Speaker 1: to live, that has good weather and nice restaurants and
Speaker 1: thank god, Chinese restaurants. And for now that places Utah.
Speaker 1: That is self trust, and that is also a voice,
Speaker 1: because this radio journey has not only been about spiritual
Speaker 1: stories so far, it has also been about finding my
Speaker 1: own voice. When I was a kid, I didn't speak
Speaker 1: very much at all. How could I? I had the
Speaker 1: four sisters and a mom. My dad didn't speak much either.
Speaker 1: We were outnumbered by the speakers of the house. When
Speaker 1: I began speaking on radio, it really stretched me my
Speaker 1: electrical self. My electrical body created so much anxiety that
Speaker 1: electrical things around me broke. My first radio broadcast was
Speaker 1: to start in fifteen minutes. I was totally ready tested
Speaker 1: everything well, my microphone decided to malfunction on my computer.
Speaker 1: Why that moment because my body was in anxiety and
Speaker 1: I was creating all these sparks of energy through my
Speaker 1: body that was impacting the electrical system in my house. Now, luckily,
Speaker 1: I had a backup laptop to use for my first
Speaker 1: broadcast that I assembled in a real big hurry to
Speaker 1: meet the Deadlon get on air at the right time
Speaker 1: live and each time that I needed to create a broadcast. Afterwards,
Speaker 1: my office door will mysteriously open each time that I
Speaker 1: shut it down, but I had closed it, no drafts
Speaker 1: in all the windows and doors closed, and somehow the
Speaker 1: door will reopen again a few minutes later when I
Speaker 1: went upstairs back to my office. Strange. My anxiety is
Speaker 1: about using my voice oddly created the strange micro paranormal
Speaker 1: events in my house until I calmed down, and then
Speaker 1: the door stayed where they needed to be. Our emotions
Speaker 1: can create physical happenings around the house if you're paying attention.
Speaker 1: I certainly did. My watches, cell phones. None of that
Speaker 1: lasts very long with me. Oh it's a stinker. It
Speaker 1: costs me all money to replace things when I get upset.
Speaker 1: So I tried to be really calm and zen. Now,
Speaker 1: be really calm and quiet around my computer, my cell phone.
Speaker 1: Be nice to them too. Now. Radio stories required me
Speaker 1: to organize my life events, speak them out loud, hear
Speaker 1: myself in a new way, and allow my private healing
Speaker 1: experiences to become public teachings. Or at least that was
Speaker 1: the hope. That is the hope. For many years, I
Speaker 1: had a voice in classrooms, employee meetings, consultations, investigations, disciplinary actions,
Speaker 1: telling people they're unfortunately fired, conducting trainees, and public speaking,
Speaker 1: but speaking as an intuitive healer, psychic media grief educator,
Speaker 1: and a woman who's loved, lost, moved, healed, loud, doubted,
Speaker 1: and received signs from the beyond through Jolly Bee Fried Chicken.
Speaker 1: I had to use a different kind of voice and
Speaker 1: train it and calm my emotions down, and I'm fred
Speaker 1: my nervous system. To get on the air and speak
Speaker 1: calmly in one recording session and not to skip a beat, well,
Speaker 1: that's hard to do. I had to use that different voice,
Speaker 1: not the corporate voice, but it was the soul voice.
Speaker 1: And the soul voice has been rising slowly and carefully,
Speaker 1: peacefully and surprisingly for me. And I see this in
Speaker 1: the collective field too, the collective field of humanity's energies.
Speaker 1: The feminine rule voice rising, the feminine power rising, sometimes
Speaker 1: very loudly to be heard. Unfortunately, the voice that says
Speaker 1: what needs to be said with clarity, with courage, conviction,
Speaker 1: and compassion, and that feminine voice has been resonating with
Speaker 1: me as well. At the same time, it rises to
Speaker 1: complement the masculines bring out planetary consciousness into new balance
Speaker 1: as humanity ascends, oh ever so slowly, in love and peace, compassion,
Speaker 1: to an elevated collective consciousness, finally recognizing our oneness, our
Speaker 1: unity field of consciousness. No, it's not a fantasy, it's
Speaker 1: a reality. It's going to happen. It's just taking a
Speaker 1: little longer than I had hoped for, but it's getting there.
Speaker 1: We are in the storm right now, before the calm,
Speaker 1: and after our calm, we will see a new reality
Speaker 1: in the next decade or two or three, and hopefully
Speaker 1: in my lifetime at the very least. That's my desire.
Speaker 1: That's the whole reason why I've signed up to be
Speaker 1: on this earth, to see these interesting times. As Buddha
Speaker 1: has so blessed us. May you live in interesting times.
Speaker 1: Oh great, that's what I'm doing out it hurts. My
Speaker 1: rising voice is soft, but not weak. Mine is a
Speaker 1: soft voice that knows when to nurture, when to bless,
Speaker 1: when to leave, when to write, when to speak, and
Speaker 1: when to close the door to allow the next chapter
Speaker 1: to begin. And I meant to close the door that
Speaker 1: didn't open itself up on its own. In clarity, it's
Speaker 1: the voice that says we are one. It's the voice
Speaker 1: that says, I know what I know. Add that to
Speaker 1: the caveat, add the caveat to that I think I
Speaker 1: know what I know. I think after a little pause,
Speaker 1: And yes, this also includes relationships. Some relationships help us
Speaker 1: discover our voice, because we lose it there first. Sometimes
Speaker 1: in relationships invalidate us, and sometimes relationships encourage us. We
Speaker 1: live through both. We live through so much more than that.
Speaker 1: But they are important because they teach us so many
Speaker 1: spiritual awareness lessons. But spiritual awareness does not always mean
Speaker 1: endless tolerance. Compassion does not require self abandonment. The soul
Speaker 1: contract with others whether self does not mean I must
Speaker 1: keep renewing the same painful contract or at least with
Speaker 1: the same old patterns. Self trust can also simply mean
Speaker 1: saying no. And some relationships teach us to believe in
Speaker 1: ourselves the first time after a long time of dormancy.
Speaker 1: And that is the part of the voice that I
Speaker 1: found for myself recently. Finding my voice was not only
Speaker 1: about speaking into a microphone. And now the same voice
Speaker 1: that learned to speak through radio is also telling me
Speaker 1: this radio container is now complete. That is also self
Speaker 1: trust because endia container is not the same as silencing
Speaker 1: the voice. Radio help me speak, catch my breath, modulate
Speaker 1: my breath, and help me breathe because I never could
Speaker 1: breathe very well as a child, weaker lungs than usual.
Speaker 1: But radio has helped me to speak through my lungs,
Speaker 1: through my diaphragm a little bit better, or to simply whisper.
Speaker 1: Writing helps me become.
Speaker 2: An And.
Speaker 1: Writing is where my boy, my voice breathes. Let me
Speaker 1: say that again. Writing is where my voice breathes. It
Speaker 1: is where I can gather the threads, polish the meaning,
Speaker 1: deepen the stories, and allow wisdom to ripen as I
Speaker 1: contemplate my writing over and over again sometimes and maybe
Speaker 1: one day that writing becomes a book where my voice
Speaker 1: breaths even stronger than on radio. Maybe the radio shows
Speaker 1: the brains articles, the brains magazine articles, the stories, the grief,
Speaker 1: the U haul trucks, the bacon fat vultures, the food size,
Speaker 1: the Maui pilgrimage that I made my Missouri house, and
Speaker 1: the Utah mountains and the sacred no saying the sacred
Speaker 1: now all become chapters is something larger. And that is
Speaker 1: how this chapter comes full circle. The quiet introspection of
Speaker 1: reflection and writing will help me carry it forward, and
Speaker 1: the healing word continues. Our bodies receive, transmit, respond, contract, open,
Speaker 1: and remember. The body knows, the field, the unity field
Speaker 1: of consciousness knows, the nervous system knows, and the soul knows.
Speaker 1: We are light. We are all one light together when
Speaker 1: we go deeper into our souls and connect with each other.
Speaker 1: And that is part of my journey. More connections, less introspection,
Speaker 1: more extroversion, and coming outside of my voice and coming
Speaker 1: outside of my home and meeting the world again. And
Speaker 1: healing often begins when we stop arguing with what we know,
Speaker 1: what we used to know, and embracing and having sympathetic
Speaker 1: conversations with new ones that we know with new knowledge,
Speaker 1: new awareness, new experiences, new adventures, getting outside of our
Speaker 1: comfort zones that we're so used to and experiencing something
Speaker 1: new and making that uncomfortableness comfortable again. Trusting in ourselves.
Speaker 1: When I work with clients, I'm there to help clear
Speaker 1: their field, hold sacred space for them, reflect what I perceive,
Speaker 1: and support them in trusting their own healing intelligence within
Speaker 1: their own selves. And the more I trust my own perceptions,
Speaker 1: the better I can help others trust theirs as well,
Speaker 1: and that is why this whole journey has mattered. Tyro
Speaker 1: cards helped me see patterns I was already living numerology.
Speaker 1: The numbers that I kept seeing pop up in front
Speaker 1: of me over and over again, the same numbers at
Speaker 1: the most interesting times, reminded me that Spirit sometimes speaks
Speaker 1: through timing and sequence. Light bulbs flickering or burning out
Speaker 1: in really rapid succession reminded me that energy shifts can
Speaker 1: show up in the physical environment as tools for Spirit
Speaker 1: to say hello to us and tell us to pay attention,
Speaker 1: or to tell us goodbye, or to tell us hello,
Speaker 1: or to tell us good job. You've cleared your energies.
Speaker 1: All this bulb is going to burn out for you
Speaker 1: to let you know this little chapter of your time
Speaker 1: in this house or in this room where in this
Speaker 1: topic is over. It's finished. Containers now closed, now doors
Speaker 1: closing themselves were also signed from Spirit to try to
Speaker 1: shut me up before radio. I noticed that too. I
Speaker 1: just reopened the doors and told them to knock it off.
Speaker 1: We have spiritual seniority after all, over our own spaces
Speaker 1: and to any beings within our spaces we can always
Speaker 1: tell them to leave. And food, oh, food, food is wonderful.
Speaker 1: Food became a language of love across the worlds. I
Speaker 1: don't mean just you know, Canada, US, across the worlds
Speaker 1: in the other side of the life, in the beyond,
Speaker 1: animals became my trusted in very timely messengers, especially birds.
Speaker 1: The house became a classroom, My voice became a boundary,
Speaker 1: and Utah became a remembrance from years ago when I
Speaker 1: lived there, where I lived here, and also a brand
Speaker 1: new platform with fresh new energies five years later. One
Speaker 1: of the most fun ways birds had spoken to me
Speaker 1: has always been through food. Food is never just food.
Speaker 1: Food is memory, ancestry, culture, and most certainly love. Love.
Speaker 1: Love becomes a table where spirit knows how to get
Speaker 1: my attention.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 1: When my father passed, there were rituals. There were foods, prayers,
Speaker 1: numbers and signs that made me feel he was still present.
Speaker 1: Around his passing, the number seven appeared again and again
Speaker 1: and again, his age, the timing, the Buddhist prayers, the
Speaker 1: seventh Day, the seventh weeks of prayers. Even the odometer
Speaker 1: on my car showed a striking row of sevens as
Speaker 1: I drove home from the mortuary, and on the radio
Speaker 1: that night Beethoven was playing, my father's favorite composer. Driving
Speaker 1: home to me, it was Dad saying, you know I
Speaker 1: love Betoven, don't we? While my mother spirit spoke through
Speaker 1: food and light, I cooked her eggplant dish at home
Speaker 1: after she passed, speaking to her all the time, having
Speaker 1: a chat. The light above my still flick flickered at
Speaker 1: just the right moments, as if she were checking up
Speaker 1: on me and my cooking, making sure I was doing
Speaker 1: the right thing. The kitchen became our meeting place between
Speaker 1: worlds and spirit speaks through electrical energies. My Mom's supervising
Speaker 1: my cooking from heaven, her heaven. And with my late
Speaker 1: husband Mike, we're both foodies anywhere we went, both in
Speaker 1: the restaurant business. After all, an extra jolly befried chicken
Speaker 1: meal landed on his coffin. He had to have planned.
Speaker 1: It wasn't me. And as Mike guided me through Maui
Speaker 1: to all the sacred places where ancient Hawaiians were buried
Speaker 1: to spread as ashes, my grief was no longer grief.
Speaker 1: It was a long, beautiful send off in sacred Maui.
Speaker 1: In love and forgiveness, and the promise of a reunion
Speaker 1: when it's my turn to go home and we meet again.
Speaker 1: Spirit speaks softly and always through love. That is the
Speaker 1: only way I received communications from Spirit. In love languages
Speaker 1: and signs. The sacred often arise dressed as daily life.
Speaker 1: Our job is to notice, if you want to. If
Speaker 1: you ignore it, that's fine, your choice. I choose to notice,
Speaker 1: and I see meaning in things where meaning sometimes means
Speaker 1: nothing to other people. But I see it as sacred
Speaker 1: task to be able to fuel and hear and see
Speaker 1: and smell and touch what Spirit has to offer when
Speaker 1: no one else is noticing, and to feel the love
Speaker 1: when it arrives. One of the recent pieces I wrote
Speaker 1: was about walking piece forward as an embodied practice. I
Speaker 1: was depleted and my motivation simplified itself into one goal
Speaker 1: as they merged to the couch, and I became a
Speaker 1: great advocate for mono tasking one thing at a time,
Speaker 1: one breath at a time, one decision at a time,
Speaker 1: not necessarily action plan at a time. At some point
Speaker 1: I found myself coloring glitter gel pens and claiming book
Speaker 1: I had bought years ago never opened it. It sounds
Speaker 1: small but it wasn't. The bright color is the simple movement,
Speaker 1: the lack of ambition, the playfulness. It soothes something in me.
Speaker 1: It brought me back to my inner child, to when
Speaker 1: I was a child, and that inner child matters in
Speaker 1: this story too. When we were very young, before the
Speaker 1: world trained us to doubt ourselves, we often knew what
Speaker 1: we liked and what we did not like, where we
Speaker 1: wanted to go, and what made us feel alive. Children
Speaker 1: can be so easily fluid, moving toward what delights them
Speaker 1: before anything else gets in the way. So twenty sixty
Speaker 1: for me, is strangely connected to returning to that fearless
Speaker 1: inner child within me, not childishness, but innocence restored through wisdom.
Speaker 1: It is a little girl who once knew how to
Speaker 1: follow wonder, now walking beside the elder woman who knows
Speaker 1: how to follow discernment and wisdom. This is a new cycle.
Speaker 1: I want to enter wisdom without heaviness, READO without apology,
Speaker 1: healing without self betrayal, and self trust with a little
Speaker 1: bit more play. It reminded me that, you know, not
Speaker 1: all healing requires a dramatic breakthrough. Sometimes healing is just
Speaker 1: being still stillness. Sometimes it's color. Sometimes it's a couch,
Speaker 1: a cup of tea, a cat nearby, and permission to
Speaker 1: do less. And who gets you permission to do that?
Speaker 1: You yourself, give it to yourself. Sometimes also stillness held
Speaker 1: in love and peace. That's the work, and that's another
Speaker 1: lesson I want to leave with you. Peace is not
Speaker 1: something we chase. Piece is what remains when we stop
Speaker 1: trying too hard to even be ourselves? Who are you?
Speaker 1: And who do you want to be? Are you trying
Speaker 1: to hard? Let that go? Just be no judgments to yourself?
Speaker 1: And when we stop living in chapters I have already ended.
Speaker 1: How about just being without thinking too heart or even
Speaker 1: much at all. Wouldn't that be nice? They're out into space.
Speaker 1: Oh sometimes I do that. It's very comforting. Suspend thinking
Speaker 1: and just be. Sounds easy, right, But that's what our
Speaker 1: brilliant pets are, dogs and cats do. Let's just curl
Speaker 1: up with them and learn more. So as I complete
Speaker 1: this radio chapter and now know the greatest lesson was
Speaker 1: never only about houses, movies, moves, relationships, tire cars, light bulbs, numbers, food, griefs,
Speaker 1: spirit signs, or even turkey vultures with healthy eating habits.
Speaker 1: The deeper lesson was self trust. The signs help me
Speaker 1: trust myself. My voice helped me honor what I knew.
Speaker 1: Completion helped me choose where my energy belongs next, and
Speaker 1: turning sixty returning to the fire horse reminded me that
Speaker 1: a news cycle does not require me to become someone else.
Speaker 1: It invites me to become just more fully myself, learning
Speaker 1: to trust, trusting my voice, trusting, saying no, trusting that
Speaker 1: leaving Missouri means completion, and learning to trust that Utah
Speaker 1: is not an escape, but a return, a rebirth in
Speaker 1: the beginning of a new life cycle. My work is
Speaker 1: not ending, it is changing form. It's really only beginning
Speaker 1: and new again. Story's not over the containers, complete and
Speaker 1: bad is different. My voice is not going away. It
Speaker 1: may turn softer, Actually it is returning to the page.
Speaker 1: My healing work is not ending. It's becoming cleaner, clearer,
Speaker 1: more aligned. My relationship with Spirit is not becoming smaller,
Speaker 1: it's becoming more trusted, bigger. My heart is not confused.
Speaker 1: My heart knows where it belongs. Missouri was the healing house,
Speaker 1: Utah's the hearth house, and what follows nex is not
Speaker 1: mine to control By fear, but mind to meet with
Speaker 1: deeper trust. Missouri taught me how to clear, repair, release,
Speaker 1: and complete. Uta is teaching me how to remember, breathe, rise, right, rest,
Speaker 1: and belong. The mountains make my spirits breathe better. At elevation,
Speaker 1: the sacred feels closer. And maybe that is the final image.
Speaker 1: I want to leave you with a woman who's moved
Speaker 1: through grief, law of loss, repair, signs in doubt and laughter,
Speaker 1: U hauls now, standing in the mountain, listening to the
Speaker 1: quiet voice within and finally believing myself, not perfectly, not
Speaker 1: without fear, not without practical concerns, but with enough trust
Speaker 1: to move forward. And maybe that is all any of
Speaker 1: us need. Enough trust for the next step, enough courage
Speaker 1: for the next truth, enough peace for the next breath,
Speaker 1: enough humor to notice that even a turkey of all
Speaker 1: try can become a spiritual teacher. And so before we close,
Speaker 1: I invite you into a gentle moment of reflection. Take
Speaker 1: a slow breath and soften your shoulders, let your body settle,
Speaker 1: and ask yourself, where have I been negotiating with my
Speaker 1: own knowing? What has my body already told me? What sign, message, dream,
Speaker 1: or feeling have I dismissed because I couldnot explain it
Speaker 1: to someone else. What am I still caring that no
Speaker 1: longer belongs in my future? What can I finally leave behind?
Speaker 1: Imagine how a soft light gathering around your heart, loving light,
Speaker 1: a remembering life, a healing light. Let that light move
Speaker 1: through your chest, shoulders, arms and hands, your belly, your
Speaker 1: whole body. And I imagine calling back your energy from
Speaker 1: old homes, old roles, old arguments, old debts, old timelines,
Speaker 1: and old versions of yourself. And let that energy return
Speaker 1: to you, cleansed, right and whole, call yourself back, renewed, refreshed,
Speaker 1: ready for new beginnings. And if there is someone you
Speaker 1: love on the other side, allow their love to be
Speaker 1: present with you, not forced, not demand, just welcomed. Maybe
Speaker 1: they come through memory, maybe through light, through food, through music,
Speaker 1: maybe through a feeling or silence. Let love arrived in
Speaker 1: whatever language and knows how to speak to you. And
Speaker 1: now I imagine placing before you anything you are ready
Speaker 1: to release, anything that no longer serves you. You have
Speaker 1: nothing to prove, release, release, release, but no longer serves you. Hey,
Speaker 1: you may say, I bless what is complete? I release
Speaker 1: what is no longer mine. I trust what my body knows.
Speaker 1: I trust what my heart knows. I trust the voice
Speaker 1: of my soul. I trust me returning to myself. I
Speaker 1: trust the fire that has carried me through my full cycles.
Speaker 1: I trust the child in me who still knows how
Speaker 1: to wonder and laugh. I trust the elder in me,
Speaker 1: who knows when a chapter is complete. I trust a
Speaker 1: divine voice rising in me with clarity, compassion, courage and peace.
Speaker 1: And I walk forward in peace. I speak the language
Speaker 1: of my soul. I am grounded, and I welcome spirit
Speaker 1: in my life if you so choose. And I trust
Speaker 1: my body, my heart, my timing, and my healing, and
Speaker 1: my need to say no when necessary. May every sign
Speaker 1: that finds me leave me back gently to myself, and
Speaker 1: may we all walk forward in self trust, in truth
Speaker 1: and peace, and in the courage to come home to ourselves.
Speaker 1: This is Fayal with fay inspired healing. Thank you for
Speaker 1: walking with me through this radio journey. Until we meet again,
Speaker 1: perhaps on the page, perhaps in the future book, perhaps
Speaker 1: in the healing session, perhaps in spirits and your own timing.
Speaker 1: Be at peace, be in love, be in healing, and
Speaker 1: trust to light within you. Blessings to all in oneness
Speaker 1: and ENLiGHT Thank you all for listening. This is Faye
Speaker 1: with Fay Inspired Healing. Thank you for listening to Soul
Speaker 1: Unfiltered with Me Fay Lou, where truth is spoken, energies
Speaker 1: are cleared, and healing gets real. If you felt seen, stirred,
Speaker 1: or supported, be sure to subscribe, like, and share the show,
Speaker 1: and don't forget to tune in every fourth Wednesday of
Speaker 1: the month at eleven a m. Pacific time on Transformation
Speaker 1: Talk Radio for more raw, real and liberating conversations. Do
Speaker 1: you want to go deeper? Schedule a free call with
Speaker 1: me at Fay Inspired Healing dot com and that's Faye
Speaker 1: Inspired Healing dot Com. Until next time, keep showing up
Speaker 1: Soul First. This is Soul Unfiltered.