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<v Speaker 1>Simple questions for one hundred people. Welcome to the experiment.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Bill Correll, and this is my investigation, my research

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<v Speaker 1>project to gather data from one hundred beautiful human beings

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<v Speaker 1>for the sole purpose to see what actually happens across

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<v Speaker 1>the interviews. Now, the questions are fixed and all the

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<v Speaker 1>interviews will remain consistent with the variable being the actual

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<v Speaker 1>participants themselves and their answers. It says, if Dave, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>having you come sit on my portion, share your thoughts

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<v Speaker 1>so I can learn about people now looking forward to

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<v Speaker 1>what we're going to know after we're doing with this

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<v Speaker 1>whole thing and have interviewed one hundred people. But in

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<v Speaker 1>the process, I'm very interested in your story and what

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<v Speaker 1>life is like for you. So I'm I'm gonna just

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<v Speaker 1>go ahead and get get started here. What is your

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<v Speaker 1>full name?

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<v Speaker 2>My full name, Bill is David Joseph Anthony Roberts, and

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<v Speaker 2>I have two middle names, and there's a story behind that.

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<v Speaker 2>I like that there's a story behind that. Joseph was

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<v Speaker 2>the middle name that my mother gave my mother and

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<v Speaker 2>father gave me at birth, and then they added Anthony

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<v Speaker 2>onto it because that was my confirmation name, and there

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<v Speaker 2>was this typical. It was typical in the Catholic Church,

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<v Speaker 2>and I went to that we would take our confirmation

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<v Speaker 2>name as part of our full name and so on.

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<v Speaker 2>My enhanced driver's license is David Joseph Anthony Roberts. But

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<v Speaker 2>I always tell everybody my middle name is Joseph, because

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<v Speaker 2>it would take me too long to explain why I

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<v Speaker 2>got two middle first names.

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<v Speaker 1>So you're you're initial are DJR.

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<v Speaker 2>DJR yes, and I don't usually go by that acronym,

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<v Speaker 2>but now I might have to, just because you dub

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<v Speaker 2>me with that DJER.

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<v Speaker 1>You can put that on your business card now, thanks

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<v Speaker 1>thanks to me. My confirmation name is Joseph.

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<v Speaker 2>Another met the path of alignment for the two of us.

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<v Speaker 1>There you go. My mom, her birthday was the nineteenth

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<v Speaker 1>of March Misa twenty first, and I think the twentieth is,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, Joseph's day, so there's something about that. But

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<v Speaker 1>my mom converted to Catholicism.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I was born Catholic, raised in the Catholic Church, went

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<v Speaker 2>to one room schoolhouse, was an altar boy, and then

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<v Speaker 2>what I was old enough to walk away from organized religion,

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<v Speaker 2>I did. And now I consider myself in the words

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<v Speaker 2>of one of my favorite authors, Kent Nurberne, to be

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<v Speaker 2>are all as spiritualists. So I take a little bit

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<v Speaker 2>of Buddhism, a little bit of Native American teachings of

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<v Speaker 2>animals and nature, a little bit of ecotherapy, and that

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<v Speaker 2>formulates the framework that I have to create awareness of

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<v Speaker 2>myself and my relationship to the world around me.

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<v Speaker 1>So I like that, and I really think that that's

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<v Speaker 1>a journey that all of us go on as we get,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, to different parts of our life and things

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<v Speaker 1>don't necessarily seem to make sense to me. Be a

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<v Speaker 1>blind believer if you will. But was the Mass still

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<v Speaker 1>in Latin when you were an ultra boy?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it was.

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<v Speaker 2>Thankfully I didn't have to learn Latin, but there were

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<v Speaker 2>parts of the Mass of worm Latin.

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<v Speaker 3>Now.

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<v Speaker 2>I also was raised in I'm half Lebanese as well too,

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<v Speaker 2>So another church I went to was a Maroni Catholic

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<v Speaker 2>church and the Mass was in Lebanese. But I didn't

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<v Speaker 2>understand Lebanese, so you know, I could just kind of

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<v Speaker 2>go off in my own little world and think about

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<v Speaker 2>something else. And because I didn't understand the language.

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<v Speaker 1>So well, we had these really cool laminated cards in

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<v Speaker 1>front of us when we were Altra boys and you

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<v Speaker 1>go down.

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<v Speaker 2>A to you know, yeah, I just basically lip synced

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<v Speaker 2>everything with the mass.

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<v Speaker 1>Built exactly exactly. It was performance art, wasn't it at

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<v Speaker 1>the age of eight.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, very much.

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<v Speaker 2>So I hadn't been hadn't looked at it like that

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<v Speaker 2>until you just mentioned it. But yeah, it could be

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<v Speaker 2>considered a form of performance art.

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<v Speaker 1>So, uh, DJR, what's your favorite nickname that most people

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<v Speaker 1>don't know?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I had a high school English teacher at Notre

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<v Speaker 2>Dame High School in Utica, New York, where I'm from.

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<v Speaker 2>His name was Dave Brown, great sense of humor. He

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<v Speaker 2>gave everybody in his English class nicknames. He gave me

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<v Speaker 2>the nickname of Oral, for the famous evangelist Oral Roberts.

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<v Speaker 3>Roberts.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so every time he would see me, he would,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, he would just do one of these, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>raise his hands and do the heel sign and call me,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, call me Oral. So that was my nickname

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<v Speaker 2>in high school. I certainly don't go by that now,

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<v Speaker 2>but not too many people know of my high school history.

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<v Speaker 2>So you're the first one I've told.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, it's our secret, okay.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, yeah, and that, and how many of our listeners

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<v Speaker 2>you have listening to this podcast, it'll be their secret too.

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<v Speaker 1>So hopefully it'll be a few million at some point.

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<v Speaker 3>I hope.

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<v Speaker 2>So if a few million could keep my sacred great.

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<v Speaker 1>They're sworn to secrecy. Now, Okay, guys, you got that,

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<v Speaker 1>So I love it. And what oral is that something

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<v Speaker 1>that stayed with you for a while or it kind

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<v Speaker 1>of went away when you got out of high school?

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<v Speaker 1>Kind of deal.

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<v Speaker 2>Kind of went away when I got out of high

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<v Speaker 2>school because when I went to college, I left that

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<v Speaker 2>part of my history separate. And when I got to college,

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<v Speaker 2>I realized that, you know, nobody really cared as much

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<v Speaker 2>about what you did in high school is as we

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<v Speaker 2>thought they were going to do. So it was more about,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, planning for the present, you know, looking at

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<v Speaker 2>the future. So my high school years never came up

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<v Speaker 2>as a topic of conversation at all, built.

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<v Speaker 1>And I suspect you weren't all that interested in everybody

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<v Speaker 1>else's high school career either. No.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, I kind of learned at a young age

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<v Speaker 2>to kind of mind my own business, because I tell

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<v Speaker 2>people I have enough trouble minding my business, much less

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<v Speaker 2>minding somebody else's business. So I just learned to be

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<v Speaker 2>respectful of boundaries and not really pry too much into

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<v Speaker 2>other people's personal lives.

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<v Speaker 3>Excellent.

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<v Speaker 1>So, Dave, when did you first notice what color hair

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<v Speaker 1>you had?

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<v Speaker 2>That's a good question, I would. I really had to

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<v Speaker 2>struggle with that because I never really took notice. I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>I always knew I had brown hair, but honestly, I

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<v Speaker 2>first began to notice that my started. I went from

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<v Speaker 2>like blonde when I was a little kid to now

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<v Speaker 2>like I'm brown here. I look back at pictures and anyways,

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<v Speaker 2>I think as we get older, I had to speak

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<v Speaker 2>for me. I tend to look at my past. That's

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<v Speaker 2>part of I guess determining, you know, the milestones in

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<v Speaker 2>my life and you know, looking back to see, at

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<v Speaker 2>this point, have I made the impact that I want

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<v Speaker 2>to make in my life. So doing that, I looked

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<v Speaker 2>at all childhood pictures and I realized that my hair

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<v Speaker 2>had a variety of different transformation of colors. I was

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<v Speaker 2>blonde and then eventually it turned into brown. And now

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<v Speaker 2>I have had phones on it, so I have a

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<v Speaker 2>receding hairline. So so yeah, very distinguished for seeding airline

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<v Speaker 2>and so essentially I began to notice not so much

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<v Speaker 2>the agent when I first noticed my colors, my hair,

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<v Speaker 2>but the different transitions that it took from childhood to now.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, mine's been transitioning now for almost twenty years, and

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<v Speaker 1>this is all the more it seems to want to go.

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<v Speaker 2>So yeah, I mean for me, I mean, I got

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<v Speaker 2>a ways to go to get to get to this diseasy,

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<v Speaker 2>tap looking beard. But we both share a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of white, which I think is a distinguished color.

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<v Speaker 1>I really do as well. I mean, what else would

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<v Speaker 1>you go go with? Right, That's right?

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<v Speaker 3>White?

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<v Speaker 2>White is also is pure you know what it's you know,

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<v Speaker 2>it's it's purity, It's pure spirit. I mean, look, I

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<v Speaker 2>mean just you could tell who we are, the essence

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<v Speaker 2>of who we are, just by the color of our beards.

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<v Speaker 1>I couldn't agree with you more. And I'll tell you

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<v Speaker 1>what with that in mind, being as pure as you

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<v Speaker 1>and I are. What's your favorite thing to do to

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<v Speaker 1>intentionally waste time?

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<v Speaker 2>To intentionally waste time, I like to play jin Rummy

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<v Speaker 2>on my iPad and and I'll usually do that at

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<v Speaker 2>the end of the day at night when I want

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<v Speaker 2>to just kind of relax, especially after I put in

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<v Speaker 2>a full day of you know, doing you know, doing

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<v Speaker 2>stuff for school because I teach it as you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I teach it all local University of Utika University in

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<v Speaker 2>the Pratt School of Art. I teach psychology courses and

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<v Speaker 2>dutt dying and Bereadman and Utika University as well as

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<v Speaker 2>care of the human spirit. So after putting in a

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<v Speaker 2>full day of prep grading, I just kind of in

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<v Speaker 2>just doing other stuff, you know. I just like to

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<v Speaker 2>kind of unwind and just play mindless gin Rummy and

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<v Speaker 2>imagine myself as a gin Rummy champion of the universe.

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<v Speaker 1>There you go. Yeah, it sounds like some fantasies that

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<v Speaker 1>I've had about holding poker.

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<v Speaker 2>So yeah, yeah, it's but you know, but that that's

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<v Speaker 2>kind of what I do, just a waste time.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm looking forward to this one. What's your favorite movie

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<v Speaker 1>to watch alone?

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<v Speaker 2>Well that was an easy one for me to answer.

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<v Speaker 2>Field the Dreams with Kevin Koshner beautiful and I'll tell

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<v Speaker 2>you why, Bill.

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<v Speaker 3>One.

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<v Speaker 2>It is just just the acting with Ray Liota and

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<v Speaker 2>the other actor who I blanket on his name, but

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<v Speaker 2>I love his voice and I forget he just died

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<v Speaker 2>recently and I'm blinking on his name.

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<v Speaker 1>James Earl Jones, James.

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<v Speaker 2>Earl Jones, thank you, thank you for that. Just a

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<v Speaker 2>great cast. And also the end of the movie where

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<v Speaker 2>Kevin Costner has a catch with his father and this

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<v Speaker 2>and I cry like a baby every time I see

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<v Speaker 2>this because my father left me when I was five

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<v Speaker 2>years old, left me and my mother. My mom raised

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<v Speaker 2>me as an only child. So every time I see

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<v Speaker 2>that photo, I see that the end scene where Kevin

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<v Speaker 2>Costner asks his father, Dad, do you want to have

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<v Speaker 2>to catch? Because that was the one thing that he

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<v Speaker 2>just he refused to do because of conflicts that he

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<v Speaker 2>had had with his father, and you know, as far

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<v Speaker 2>part of the storyline. So when he does that, it's

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<v Speaker 2>like there were days Bill that I wish I could

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<v Speaker 2>have gone back on my past, seen the ghost of

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<v Speaker 2>my father as a young man and just had asked him,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, you know what contributed to you leaving? And

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<v Speaker 2>I realized now wasn't because he left me because he

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<v Speaker 2>didn't love me. He left me because he did love me.

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<v Speaker 2>He just his history did not allow him to stay

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<v Speaker 2>in a traditional marriage. His history was one of you know,

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<v Speaker 2>you didn't shut down roots, particularly if emotional attachment was

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<v Speaker 2>asked of you. If emotional attachment was asked, you booked.

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<v Speaker 2>And I think he did the best he could. And

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<v Speaker 2>I realized after about fifty five years, you know, after

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<v Speaker 2>he left, I realized that he left because he did

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<v Speaker 2>love me. He did not want to interfere with, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>with my mom and and in mine and my development.

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<v Speaker 2>And but every time I see that movie, I got

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<v Speaker 2>watched it one hundred times and I'll still have the

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<v Speaker 2>same reaction with the scene at the end of the movie.

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<v Speaker 2>So that's why that movie is my favorite to watch

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<v Speaker 2>alone because I can just be with my emotions cry

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<v Speaker 2>do I do what I want to do with that?

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<v Speaker 2>And it's a movie that I like to watch alone

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<v Speaker 2>because it's like, at that moment, I'm also bonding with

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<v Speaker 2>my father.

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<v Speaker 1>That's that's absolutely amazing and uh and very wonderful, and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm pleased for you. You know, that's a special gift

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<v Speaker 1>that he's given you to be able to connect with

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<v Speaker 1>him in that way.

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<v Speaker 3>Yep. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>And and I look at that as I'm bonding with

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<v Speaker 2>with the memory of who I believe he could have been,

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<v Speaker 2>and you know, I think who he is now in spirit.

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<v Speaker 3>I firm.

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<v Speaker 2>He's one of my He's one of my, I think,

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<v Speaker 2>greatest teachers today.

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<v Speaker 1>You're always listening for him, aren't you.

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<v Speaker 3>Mm hmm.

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<v Speaker 2>And I love him as much. I love him as

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<v Speaker 2>much as the mother who raised me for all of

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<v Speaker 2>my wife.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I get it, I really do. And I mean

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<v Speaker 1>beyond the the euphemism of I get it, I'm getting

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<v Speaker 1>it at a gut level.

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<v Speaker 3>Yep. Yep.

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<v Speaker 1>That's gone now too, Dave and h That's what I'm

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<v Speaker 1>saying to you. You know, would I love to have

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<v Speaker 1>a catch with him again? Damn straight?

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<v Speaker 3>I would?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, yeah, And I think we all yearned for that,

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<v Speaker 2>no matter how long it's been or how short it's.

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<v Speaker 1>Been, and no matter what the shortcomings were of the

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<v Speaker 1>way you know, your childhood went. So you get one dad,

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<v Speaker 1>you get one mom, and when they're gone, nobody over

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<v Speaker 1>takes their place.

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<v Speaker 3>Yep.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, this one. It's the first time I've asked

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<v Speaker 1>a college professor, so I'm really kind of interested how

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<v Speaker 1>this is going to go. If you were to have

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<v Speaker 1>an action figure made of view, what superpower would it

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<v Speaker 1>have and what color would its uniform be?

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<v Speaker 2>I leave it to you to ask me. This is

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<v Speaker 2>tough of a question for the first time, and I

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<v Speaker 2>had to think about this. But for me, I would

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<v Speaker 2>want my superpower to be invisible, yep. And my colors

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<v Speaker 2>would be lavender because that is the favorite color of

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<v Speaker 2>my eighteen year old daughter, Jeanie, who I think, as

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<v Speaker 2>you know, during our introductory call, she transitioned and I

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<v Speaker 2>call transition from the physical plant of this spiritual plane

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<v Speaker 2>at the age of eighteen on March first, two thousand

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<v Speaker 2>and three, of a very rare and aggressive form of cancer.

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<v Speaker 2>And that was your favorite color. I would also use

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<v Speaker 2>green because that's a color of camouflage and that's typically

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<v Speaker 2>associated with invisibility. The reason I would pick invisibility is

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<v Speaker 2>I like to be able to kind of like not

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<v Speaker 2>say much when I'm I'm but I like to observe,

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<v Speaker 2>so I'd like to be invisible doing it. I like

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<v Speaker 2>to kind of take a look at the landscape around me,

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<v Speaker 2>take everything in, not respond to it right away, but

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<v Speaker 2>just take it in and respond to it when the

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<v Speaker 2>time is when the time is right. So it's part

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<v Speaker 2>of me kind of like like liking to be invisible,

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<v Speaker 2>not having people knowing what I'm doing, but yet I'm

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<v Speaker 2>being able to blend in and observe what I see

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<v Speaker 2>going on around me, and then try to integrate it

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<v Speaker 2>into my own my own reality or my own you know,

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<v Speaker 2>my own perspective or belief systems. So it would be invisibility.

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<v Speaker 1>I like it. So when you when you, I'm assuming

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<v Speaker 1>that there will be times when you'll be visible.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, yeah, when I'm teaching, I'm very visible. When I'm

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<v Speaker 2>doing my podcast, I'm very visible, you know. So I'm

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<v Speaker 2>I'm very visible when I'm doing that, or when I'm

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<v Speaker 2>doing speaking and you know, speaking or workshops, I'm very visible.

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<v Speaker 2>But there's a time to be visible and there's a

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<v Speaker 2>time to be invisible. So it's learning for me. It's

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<v Speaker 2>learning to find a balance, and it's learning that not

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<v Speaker 2>everything that I see requires an immediate comment. For me,

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<v Speaker 2>I can simply withhold that comment until the time is right,

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<v Speaker 2>until the timing is wrong.

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<v Speaker 1>For some people. Yeah, that's superpower for some people, right there.

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<v Speaker 3>Mm hmm.

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<v Speaker 1>The ability to hang back and realize you don't have

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<v Speaker 1>to catch every ball that gets thrown.

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<v Speaker 3>That's right.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, we could choose to let some balls go by.

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<v Speaker 2>We can choose to drop a couple of balls.

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, So one last question, would you have a cape?

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<v Speaker 3>Uh?

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<v Speaker 2>No, I think if I had a cape, it would

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<v Speaker 2>take years of therapy for my students don't see that,

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00:16:10.879 --> 00:16:16.120
<v Speaker 2>especially if I had tights. So part of the visibility

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<v Speaker 2>bill is just not being that obvious. So I would

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<v Speaker 2>probably wear just just a hoodie, jeans, you know, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>with maybe lavender and green hues, and then just become

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<v Speaker 2>invisible at will, just blend in with the surroundings.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, there's there's the makings of a new serenity prayer

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<v Speaker 1>right there. You know, Lord give me the you know,

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<v Speaker 1>the strength to be visible when I should be and

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<v Speaker 1>invisible when I'm not, and the wisdom to know the difference.

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<v Speaker 3>Right, Yeah, you got it.

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<v Speaker 2>So, and I tell my students because you know, I

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<v Speaker 2>kid around saying if you saw me dance, there wouldn't

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<v Speaker 2>be enough therapy for you to want to see that either.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'm not going to bust a move in class

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<v Speaker 2>just for fear of unless you sign a disclaimer notice first,

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm not responsible for any changes in your metal

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<v Speaker 2>as a result of seeing what you just saw.

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<v Speaker 1>And post a five thousand dollars bond, right.

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<v Speaker 2>And post a five thousand dollars bond yep, and and

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<v Speaker 2>it makes sure you know, and I would probably have

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<v Speaker 2>to change my phone number two or email addresses or

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00:17:15.200 --> 00:17:17.559
<v Speaker 2>something just so their parents would have trouble finding me.

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00:17:17.599 --> 00:17:18.319
<v Speaker 3>Another part of.

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00:17:18.279 --> 00:17:22.079
<v Speaker 2>My technological need to be invisible. I could do that

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<v Speaker 2>on a technological standpoint, from a digital standpoint, to be invisible.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's tell the truth, ladies and gentlemen, that's just playing

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<v Speaker 1>hiding out right.

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<v Speaker 3>You've got it. You got it.

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<v Speaker 2>You got a.

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<v Speaker 1>Time for for for every everything in the season, right,

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<v Speaker 1>every season.

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<v Speaker 3>You got it.

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<v Speaker 2>You got to know one to hide, and you got

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<v Speaker 2>to know when to be invisible or hide, and one

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<v Speaker 2>to be visible.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, So now we know what a superhero is like.

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<v Speaker 1>For a college professor, excellent.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I can't speak for all college professors. I'm sure

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<v Speaker 2>they would have a different, different version of that, but

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<v Speaker 2>for me, it's invisibility. And one of the best pervisor

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<v Speaker 2>I ever had. He was He was an next Navy

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<v Speaker 2>seal commander and he was a social worker. So you

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<v Speaker 2>want to talk about a combination of our skills. He

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00:18:09.079 --> 00:18:11.599
<v Speaker 2>knew how to build teams, he knew how to put

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<v Speaker 2>people in places to succeed, and he always preached about

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<v Speaker 2>being invisible. He spoke to the clients that we dealt

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<v Speaker 2>with at the addiction center that we worked in, be invisible,

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<v Speaker 2>do your job, don't draw attention to yourself. And that

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<v Speaker 2>always stuck with me. That always stuck with me. Is

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<v Speaker 2>that that the importance of being invisible?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>So did you draw attention to what you need to

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<v Speaker 2>draw attention to and not to any behavior that's going

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<v Speaker 2>to detract from the mission.

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<v Speaker 1>That's a famous Pacino saying in The Devil's Advocate, never

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<v Speaker 1>let them see you coming, Daniel.

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<v Speaker 2>That's right now. Let him see you coming, Dan Oh, yep.

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<v Speaker 2>And that's it. And you know, always the element of surprise.

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<v Speaker 1>So what did you want to grow up to be

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<v Speaker 1>when you were five years old?

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<v Speaker 3>Dave?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, Well, when I was five years old, Bill was

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<v Speaker 2>about survival for me, because that's about the time that

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<v Speaker 2>my father had left. And in fact, the last memory

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<v Speaker 2>I had of my father before he left was my

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<v Speaker 2>two uncles pitting him up against the wall and threatening

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<v Speaker 2>to do bodily harm to him if he had hurt

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<v Speaker 2>if he'd hurt my mother again. And I was in

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<v Speaker 2>the kitchen. I remember, I was five years old. I

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<v Speaker 2>was eating a baloney sandwich. And I saw this, and

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<v Speaker 2>that was the last memory I had of my father.

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<v Speaker 2>I think he left shortly after that. So at five

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<v Speaker 2>years old, it was you know, we moved around quite

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<v Speaker 2>a bit.

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<v Speaker 3>You know.

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<v Speaker 2>My mother was always worried that my father was going

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<v Speaker 2>to come back and take me and from her, so

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<v Speaker 2>we moved around.

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00:19:40.000 --> 00:19:41.119
<v Speaker 3>So really.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't really it was more about survival during those years.

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<v Speaker 2>But I can tell you when I was about ten

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<v Speaker 2>or eleven years old, I wanted to be a lawyer

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<v Speaker 2>because I watched Perry Mason. Yes, and I love the

395
00:19:53.880 --> 00:19:57.000
<v Speaker 2>way Raymond Burke conducted business, and I said, boy, I

396
00:19:57.039 --> 00:19:58.519
<v Speaker 2>grew up to I grew up, I want to be

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<v Speaker 2>just like Raymond Byrne. I wanted to be lawyer. That

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<v Speaker 2>never happened. Obviously, my career path went to a different way, different,

399
00:20:06.960 --> 00:20:10.000
<v Speaker 2>different direction, which I'm grateful for. But when I was

400
00:20:10.039 --> 00:20:12.440
<v Speaker 2>ten years old, I wanted to be a lawyer just

401
00:20:12.480 --> 00:20:13.240
<v Speaker 2>like Perry Mason.

402
00:20:14.079 --> 00:20:17.519
<v Speaker 1>Funny when you say Perry Mason, immediately in the back

403
00:20:17.559 --> 00:20:19.119
<v Speaker 1>of my mind, I hear you're run.

404
00:20:19.240 --> 00:20:23.839
<v Speaker 2>Er, Yeah, you're on her yeah, or I hear are

405
00:20:23.920 --> 00:20:26.400
<v Speaker 2>I hear Della, or I hear Paul. I need this,

406
00:20:27.119 --> 00:20:30.000
<v Speaker 2>you know, with this famous sidekick Paul Drake and Bella

407
00:20:30.119 --> 00:20:34.039
<v Speaker 2>Street and Raymond Burrow is a great actor. I don't

408
00:20:34.079 --> 00:20:35.759
<v Speaker 2>know if he ever truly got his due, but he

409
00:20:35.799 --> 00:20:38.240
<v Speaker 2>was really a great actor, and he did some really

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<v Speaker 2>great character roles and he was one.

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<v Speaker 3>Of my idols.

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<v Speaker 1>Definitely, I agree with you one hundred percent. He was

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<v Speaker 1>a formative influence on my life as well. Another watching

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00:20:52.079 --> 00:20:52.839
<v Speaker 1>his show.

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00:20:53.240 --> 00:20:54.519
<v Speaker 3>Another point of alignment.

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<v Speaker 1>You got it. So what's your greatest accomplishment?

417
00:21:01.839 --> 00:21:03.680
<v Speaker 2>I had to think about this because you know, I

418
00:21:03.839 --> 00:21:07.119
<v Speaker 2>don't know if I've had the greatest accomplishment yet. I

419
00:21:07.119 --> 00:21:10.720
<v Speaker 2>think I've had a series of milestones. If I look

420
00:21:10.799 --> 00:21:13.519
<v Speaker 2>at what I've accomplished, and I would have just assume

421
00:21:14.119 --> 00:21:18.319
<v Speaker 2>go from that tack one, it's being a parent, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>to three really great children. I've got two young two boys.

423
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<v Speaker 2>One older is forty one years old, his name is Dan,

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<v Speaker 2>and another younger son thirty five. Janine, who would have

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<v Speaker 2>been forty, was the middle child. So I had the

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00:21:32.279 --> 00:21:37.000
<v Speaker 2>privilege of raising three great children. So I'm a grandfather

427
00:21:37.079 --> 00:21:40.039
<v Speaker 2>four times over, a great grandfather twice over. So those

428
00:21:40.119 --> 00:21:44.440
<v Speaker 2>accomplishments in terms of categories of family are meaningful to me.

429
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<v Speaker 2>As far as work, you know, I think you know,

430
00:21:50.720 --> 00:21:52.599
<v Speaker 2>you know, in education, I was, I was able to

431
00:21:52.599 --> 00:21:56.519
<v Speaker 2>get my MSW after a twenty five year journey doing it,

432
00:21:58.240 --> 00:21:59.799
<v Speaker 2>you know. So, I mean there's a variety of different

433
00:22:00.480 --> 00:22:02.839
<v Speaker 2>If I had to say a great accomplishment, this is

434
00:22:02.880 --> 00:22:07.440
<v Speaker 2>going to sound but it's actually re engaging in life

435
00:22:07.440 --> 00:22:11.519
<v Speaker 2>after my daughter's transition, and and re engaging in life

436
00:22:12.119 --> 00:22:16.559
<v Speaker 2>with purpose and acceptance of the fact that, you know,

437
00:22:16.599 --> 00:22:18.759
<v Speaker 2>my life wasn't going to be the same anymore. And

438
00:22:18.839 --> 00:22:20.960
<v Speaker 2>I think I could, I could.

439
00:22:21.000 --> 00:22:21.880
<v Speaker 3>That to me was a.

440
00:22:22.680 --> 00:22:26.640
<v Speaker 2>Very pivotal accomplishment for me because everything else kind of

441
00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:29.880
<v Speaker 2>grew after after that, you know, I was able to

442
00:22:30.480 --> 00:22:33.559
<v Speaker 2>do other things and use my teaching background and education

443
00:22:33.799 --> 00:22:37.960
<v Speaker 2>background to you know, to provide to provide service, and

444
00:22:38.079 --> 00:22:43.319
<v Speaker 2>do workshops, provide education on the grief journey. So so

445
00:22:43.400 --> 00:22:46.839
<v Speaker 2>that's kind of a multi categorized answer. But the other

446
00:22:46.880 --> 00:22:49.759
<v Speaker 2>thing is if I said I had the greatest accomplishment,

447
00:22:50.319 --> 00:22:54.160
<v Speaker 2>this is my greatest accomplishment, I avoid that because to

448
00:22:54.240 --> 00:22:56.920
<v Speaker 2>say that for me would give me an excuse to

449
00:22:56.960 --> 00:23:00.640
<v Speaker 2>stop learning and growing, so and I don't. So that's

450
00:23:00.640 --> 00:23:02.680
<v Speaker 2>why I don't say this is my greatest accomplishment. I

451
00:23:02.680 --> 00:23:04.200
<v Speaker 2>think there's more in front of me. I've got a

452
00:23:04.240 --> 00:23:06.359
<v Speaker 2>lot more to learn. I've got a lot more to

453
00:23:06.440 --> 00:23:09.559
<v Speaker 2>learn from everybody around me, young and old. And my

454
00:23:09.640 --> 00:23:14.440
<v Speaker 2>greatest accomplishment I think has yet to be to be written,

455
00:23:14.440 --> 00:23:17.279
<v Speaker 2>and may never be written in this lifetime and may

456
00:23:17.319 --> 00:23:19.039
<v Speaker 2>continue in other lifetimes.

457
00:23:19.599 --> 00:23:23.319
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think that's you know, healthy advice as far

458
00:23:23.359 --> 00:23:29.119
<v Speaker 1>as I'm concerned. It's sage to appreciate the moment for

459
00:23:29.200 --> 00:23:30.559
<v Speaker 1>what it is and move on.

460
00:23:31.279 --> 00:23:31.480
<v Speaker 3>Yep.

461
00:23:32.839 --> 00:23:35.720
<v Speaker 1>Like we see so many kids who they peak in

462
00:23:35.759 --> 00:23:38.319
<v Speaker 1>high school, or they peak in college, and then they

463
00:23:38.359 --> 00:23:40.799
<v Speaker 1>go out into the world having done great things, you know,

464
00:23:40.880 --> 00:23:43.920
<v Speaker 1>academically or in sports or something of that nature, and

465
00:23:44.000 --> 00:23:46.839
<v Speaker 1>you just can't replicate that high out there in the world,

466
00:23:46.880 --> 00:23:48.119
<v Speaker 1>and they turn to other things.

467
00:23:48.160 --> 00:23:51.799
<v Speaker 2>You know now, And I think the more diverse experiences

468
00:23:51.839 --> 00:23:54.160
<v Speaker 2>we have, the more that we can allow ourselves to have,

469
00:23:54.200 --> 00:23:57.039
<v Speaker 2>the more learning stays fresh, the more we're excited about learning,

470
00:23:57.240 --> 00:23:59.880
<v Speaker 2>and the more we're excited about continuing to grow.

471
00:24:01.359 --> 00:24:03.920
<v Speaker 1>The key, the key to a long, happy life is

472
00:24:03.960 --> 00:24:06.680
<v Speaker 1>ongoing growth and development and engagement.

473
00:24:06.880 --> 00:24:10.079
<v Speaker 2>I really believe that. I think research has shown that

474
00:24:10.759 --> 00:24:14.200
<v Speaker 2>engagement equals longevity. If we're engaged in life. You know,

475
00:24:14.240 --> 00:24:17.319
<v Speaker 2>we're engaged with people that it extends our life more,

476
00:24:17.359 --> 00:24:19.720
<v Speaker 2>extends the quality of our life more. I have no

477
00:24:19.799 --> 00:24:23.720
<v Speaker 2>illusions that I'm going to be immortal. I know at

478
00:24:23.720 --> 00:24:25.880
<v Speaker 2>some point I'm going to be dancing in another dimension.

479
00:24:25.920 --> 00:24:29.920
<v Speaker 2>But before I do that, I want to have the

480
00:24:29.920 --> 00:24:32.200
<v Speaker 2>best quality of life that I can for as long

481
00:24:32.240 --> 00:24:34.119
<v Speaker 2>as I can. And the way that I can see

482
00:24:34.160 --> 00:24:37.920
<v Speaker 2>doing that is through engagement both with mind, body, and spirit.

483
00:24:38.720 --> 00:24:42.039
<v Speaker 1>Well, I appreciate that. I appreciate you, and I also

484
00:24:42.079 --> 00:24:45.559
<v Speaker 1>want to acknowledge your decision somewhere along the way to

485
00:24:45.559 --> 00:24:48.880
<v Speaker 1>get back on the horse of life, because you could

486
00:24:48.920 --> 00:24:53.440
<v Speaker 1>have made another decision, and what was authentically you decided

487
00:24:53.559 --> 00:24:55.799
<v Speaker 1>that No, we're not done yet, We've got some more

488
00:24:55.799 --> 00:24:56.359
<v Speaker 1>stuff to do.

489
00:24:57.519 --> 00:24:59.599
<v Speaker 2>I didn't do it, and I didn't do this by myself.

490
00:24:59.640 --> 00:25:02.720
<v Speaker 2>I mean, before we're gonna we're going to embrace transitions

491
00:25:02.720 --> 00:25:06.079
<v Speaker 2>in life to their growth. We don't do it in

492
00:25:06.119 --> 00:25:08.200
<v Speaker 2>a vacuum. We do it with the support of others,

493
00:25:08.240 --> 00:25:10.640
<v Speaker 2>and I have the support of many many individuals align

494
00:25:10.680 --> 00:25:11.240
<v Speaker 2>the White Belt.

495
00:25:13.119 --> 00:25:17.440
<v Speaker 1>I agree. It's the same philosophy we talk about. You know,

496
00:25:17.519 --> 00:25:20.440
<v Speaker 1>death is something that you have to do alone. No,

497
00:25:20.839 --> 00:25:24.440
<v Speaker 1>there's a whole community of people that's that's there, that's

498
00:25:24.480 --> 00:25:28.039
<v Speaker 1>going through and living that experience with you. It's just

499
00:25:28.119 --> 00:25:30.680
<v Speaker 1>not something that they can articulate what it's all about,

500
00:25:30.799 --> 00:25:32.759
<v Speaker 1>or what it means or anything else. But they are

501
00:25:33.640 --> 00:25:37.240
<v Speaker 1>every bit as much a participant as you were, Yes,

502
00:25:38.200 --> 00:25:42.559
<v Speaker 1>both coming in and going out right. Absolutely, Yeah, I

503
00:25:42.599 --> 00:25:45.799
<v Speaker 1>love that. I appreciate what we're what we're putting out there,

504
00:25:45.839 --> 00:25:50.559
<v Speaker 1>because everyone in our world is grieving something.

505
00:25:51.799 --> 00:25:52.079
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

506
00:25:52.160 --> 00:25:54.119
<v Speaker 2>I mean, if you live long enough, you're not going

507
00:25:54.160 --> 00:25:58.039
<v Speaker 2>to get through life unscathe and there's good There's going

508
00:25:58.079 --> 00:26:02.839
<v Speaker 2>to be challenges and you and the quality of our

509
00:26:02.880 --> 00:26:06.519
<v Speaker 2>life is determined by the way we address challenge, by

510
00:26:06.559 --> 00:26:09.279
<v Speaker 2>the way we transcend it. And I was saying this,

511
00:26:09.519 --> 00:26:12.480
<v Speaker 2>I was recording a podcast yesterday with somebody that experienced

512
00:26:12.480 --> 00:26:15.039
<v Speaker 2>a loss. We were talking about that we have no

513
00:26:15.119 --> 00:26:18.200
<v Speaker 2>control over the challenges that are going to befell us

514
00:26:18.200 --> 00:26:20.759
<v Speaker 2>in this life. Well, we have control overs how we

515
00:26:20.799 --> 00:26:23.200
<v Speaker 2>respond to him. And you're right, we have a choice.

516
00:26:23.240 --> 00:26:25.319
<v Speaker 2>We can choose to respond, or we can choose to

517
00:26:25.640 --> 00:26:29.519
<v Speaker 2>stay stuck, you know, And we can do that, and

518
00:26:29.599 --> 00:26:33.720
<v Speaker 2>particularly after we've we've kind of let the pain of

519
00:26:33.759 --> 00:26:36.119
<v Speaker 2>grief envelop us. We got there's a moment of truth.

520
00:26:36.440 --> 00:26:38.240
<v Speaker 2>Do I want to move forward? Do I want to

521
00:26:38.279 --> 00:26:41.319
<v Speaker 2>stay stuck? And a lot of people would look at

522
00:26:41.319 --> 00:26:44.000
<v Speaker 2>me and probably disagree with that, but it's true. We

523
00:26:44.000 --> 00:26:46.119
<v Speaker 2>have a choice in terms of how we choose to

524
00:26:46.160 --> 00:26:47.079
<v Speaker 2>handle challenge.

525
00:26:47.480 --> 00:26:51.599
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Yeah, you know the yelled Jim Morrison quote that

526
00:26:51.799 --> 00:26:55.279
<v Speaker 1>nobody gets out alive. Uh huh, And he died before

527
00:26:55.319 --> 00:26:57.200
<v Speaker 1>he could add the next sentence, which is, and they're

528
00:26:57.200 --> 00:26:59.160
<v Speaker 1>going to rough you up pretty good before you get there.

529
00:26:59.559 --> 00:26:59.759
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

530
00:27:00.079 --> 00:27:02.440
<v Speaker 2>I remember what he Allen saying, something to the effect

531
00:27:02.480 --> 00:27:04.160
<v Speaker 2>that I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want

532
00:27:04.160 --> 00:27:04.880
<v Speaker 2>to be there when.

533
00:27:04.680 --> 00:27:13.400
<v Speaker 1>It happens, exactly. You know, that's like a Groucho line too.

534
00:27:11.960 --> 00:27:14.000
<v Speaker 2>Or Yogi bearism, either one of the two.

535
00:27:14.119 --> 00:27:17.119
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, that's the kind of thing that you really

536
00:27:17.160 --> 00:27:18.839
<v Speaker 1>don't want to be there when he visits, you.

537
00:27:18.759 --> 00:27:19.720
<v Speaker 3>Know, That's right.

538
00:27:19.799 --> 00:27:22.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I just well, and there's also I think there's

539
00:27:22.240 --> 00:27:24.759
<v Speaker 2>been accounts that actually the spirit leaves our body, but

540
00:27:25.039 --> 00:27:27.880
<v Speaker 2>just shortly before the body physical body dies. So maybe

541
00:27:27.920 --> 00:27:29.400
<v Speaker 2>when he Allen knew something we didn't.

542
00:27:31.000 --> 00:27:33.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it'd be an interesting question to ask him when

543
00:27:33.720 --> 00:27:34.799
<v Speaker 1>he's on my podcast.

544
00:27:34.799 --> 00:27:36.920
<v Speaker 3>Don't you think? I think so too.

545
00:27:37.640 --> 00:27:39.880
<v Speaker 2>You know, we just have to dial one eight hundred

546
00:27:39.920 --> 00:27:43.119
<v Speaker 2>Pearly Gates exactly if we can get him down there.

547
00:27:44.400 --> 00:27:46.640
<v Speaker 3>What are you if you're listening? Man, it's not to

548
00:27:46.680 --> 00:27:47.519
<v Speaker 3>sign a bill.

549
00:27:47.960 --> 00:27:50.880
<v Speaker 1>Or today, either one of us. Well, we'll stay in communication.

550
00:27:50.960 --> 00:27:54.359
<v Speaker 1>We'll get it. We'll get it done. I got it, So, Dave,

551
00:27:54.400 --> 00:27:56.240
<v Speaker 1>who's your favorite person to listen to?

552
00:27:57.480 --> 00:27:57.839
<v Speaker 3>Oh?

553
00:27:57.920 --> 00:28:05.279
<v Speaker 2>Man, I love voices. Voices will draw me. And Morgan Freeman.

554
00:28:05.319 --> 00:28:07.960
<v Speaker 2>I can listen to Morgan Freeman all day. He's just

555
00:28:08.000 --> 00:28:13.200
<v Speaker 2>got that very gentle present. John John, Uh, you know

556
00:28:13.240 --> 00:28:17.480
<v Speaker 2>we just talked about him earlier. John, you know what

557
00:28:17.519 --> 00:28:18.319
<v Speaker 2>I'm talking about.

558
00:28:18.839 --> 00:28:19.680
<v Speaker 1>James Earl Jones.

559
00:28:19.759 --> 00:28:25.039
<v Speaker 2>James Earl Jones, Thank you sorry, James, all right, But

560
00:28:25.039 --> 00:28:29.359
<v Speaker 2>the James Earl Jones, Morgan Freeman, these are voices I

561
00:28:29.359 --> 00:28:31.599
<v Speaker 2>could listen to our and like can listen to these

562
00:28:31.640 --> 00:28:36.920
<v Speaker 2>guys anytime any day, just because of their presence, their voice,

563
00:28:37.599 --> 00:28:41.960
<v Speaker 2>their knowledge, and they're very unassuming and humble as they presented.

564
00:28:42.519 --> 00:28:45.880
<v Speaker 2>The other person who you might not even think would

565
00:28:45.880 --> 00:28:49.200
<v Speaker 2>be on anybody's list is Neil Pierret, the late great

566
00:28:49.279 --> 00:28:53.440
<v Speaker 2>drummer of Rush. I've seen interviews with him. The man

567
00:28:53.519 --> 00:28:56.680
<v Speaker 2>is brilliant and he's a brilliant They called him the

568
00:28:56.720 --> 00:29:01.000
<v Speaker 2>professor because of his brilliance and creativity with with with drums,

569
00:29:01.200 --> 00:29:04.440
<v Speaker 2>in writing, he's also one of He's a great writer

570
00:29:04.519 --> 00:29:06.400
<v Speaker 2>as well to an adventurer. And a lot of people

571
00:29:06.440 --> 00:29:09.559
<v Speaker 2>may not know that knew that about him, but I

572
00:29:09.559 --> 00:29:11.480
<v Speaker 2>could listen. I could listen to him all day too,

573
00:29:11.680 --> 00:29:15.799
<v Speaker 2>not only his music but also his interviews, and he

574
00:29:15.839 --> 00:29:17.839
<v Speaker 2>would be one guy that if I had a wish

575
00:29:17.920 --> 00:29:21.200
<v Speaker 2>in terms of who I could have dinner with, Morgan

576
00:29:21.279 --> 00:29:23.920
<v Speaker 2>Freeman and Neil peartt would be two of the people

577
00:29:23.960 --> 00:29:26.480
<v Speaker 2>that I would want they have dinner with, you know,

578
00:29:27.920 --> 00:29:29.279
<v Speaker 2>and just pick their brains.

579
00:29:29.920 --> 00:29:32.200
<v Speaker 1>I will take that under advisement. I've always been a

580
00:29:32.200 --> 00:29:34.279
<v Speaker 1>Getty fan, you know, no doubt about it.

581
00:29:35.519 --> 00:29:35.920
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

582
00:29:36.559 --> 00:29:39.720
<v Speaker 1>I've not heard Neil speak, but I'll put it on

583
00:29:39.759 --> 00:29:40.359
<v Speaker 1>my list now.

584
00:29:40.720 --> 00:29:40.880
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

585
00:29:41.000 --> 00:29:43.160
<v Speaker 2>I mean you can look at interviews he's done about

586
00:29:43.279 --> 00:29:46.319
<v Speaker 2>about drumming and about everything else, and he's just very

587
00:29:46.359 --> 00:29:51.440
<v Speaker 2>He's just brilliant. His books are as brilliant as a

588
00:29:51.519 --> 00:29:56.160
<v Speaker 2>lyricist and drummer he was. He was a brilliant writer.

589
00:29:56.279 --> 00:29:58.920
<v Speaker 2>I mean a lot of his books of ghostwriter travel

590
00:29:59.119 --> 00:30:02.160
<v Speaker 2>Travels on the Healing Road was a book that inspired

591
00:30:02.279 --> 00:30:05.799
<v Speaker 2>me because he experienced two tragedies in his life where

592
00:30:05.839 --> 00:30:09.279
<v Speaker 2>his wife and daughter transitioned within ten months with each other,

593
00:30:09.359 --> 00:30:14.039
<v Speaker 2>and he the family that he knew was obliterated within

594
00:30:14.119 --> 00:30:15.960
<v Speaker 2>ten months. So he took a fifty five thousand mile

595
00:30:16.079 --> 00:30:19.440
<v Speaker 2>road trip commune with nature, documented the trip and to

596
00:30:19.759 --> 00:30:21.359
<v Speaker 2>find himself and he did.

597
00:30:24.119 --> 00:30:26.960
<v Speaker 1>That's another whole podcasting in and of itself. We'll get

598
00:30:27.000 --> 00:30:29.839
<v Speaker 1>together and we'll do a freelance one on that. That's

599
00:30:29.880 --> 00:30:31.880
<v Speaker 1>a heck of a notion to make a decision to

600
00:30:31.880 --> 00:30:33.480
<v Speaker 1>go take care of yourself for a while.

601
00:30:33.920 --> 00:30:34.119
<v Speaker 3>Yep.

602
00:30:34.200 --> 00:30:36.240
<v Speaker 1>I don't know a lot of people that would would

603
00:30:36.279 --> 00:30:39.119
<v Speaker 1>be awake enough, you know, to decide to be able

604
00:30:39.160 --> 00:30:39.640
<v Speaker 1>to do that.

605
00:30:40.160 --> 00:30:40.319
<v Speaker 3>You know.

606
00:30:40.920 --> 00:30:42.880
<v Speaker 2>He made that decision a year and a day after

607
00:30:42.920 --> 00:30:44.799
<v Speaker 2>his daughter transitioned, that he was just going to go

608
00:30:44.839 --> 00:30:47.319
<v Speaker 2>on the road. He told he told gedty Lee and

609
00:30:47.359 --> 00:30:51.920
<v Speaker 2>Alex Liefelin, consider me retired. And he went and basically

610
00:30:52.039 --> 00:30:54.880
<v Speaker 2>to and in his words, to determine the type of

611
00:30:54.880 --> 00:30:57.200
<v Speaker 2>person he wanted to be in the type of world

612
00:30:57.240 --> 00:30:59.200
<v Speaker 2>he wanted to live in. And I always used that

613
00:30:59.319 --> 00:31:02.480
<v Speaker 2>quote in my dat dying in Bereatman class and in

614
00:31:02.839 --> 00:31:06.000
<v Speaker 2>talks that I do, because that speaks to what everybody

615
00:31:06.119 --> 00:31:09.039
<v Speaker 2>needs to do when they're experiencing life altering challenge, whether

616
00:31:09.039 --> 00:31:10.599
<v Speaker 2>it's due to laws, dud to death, or due to

617
00:31:10.640 --> 00:31:12.960
<v Speaker 2>other types of challenge. We have to determine who am

618
00:31:13.000 --> 00:31:15.119
<v Speaker 2>I now? What kind of a world do I want

619
00:31:15.119 --> 00:31:16.839
<v Speaker 2>to live in? What kind of a world do I

620
00:31:16.920 --> 00:31:19.440
<v Speaker 2>want to create for myself? Now that everything at the

621
00:31:19.519 --> 00:31:21.319
<v Speaker 2>landscape of it is primarily altered?

622
00:31:22.720 --> 00:31:28.160
<v Speaker 1>Well said, Well said, So please complete this sentence, Dave.

623
00:31:28.759 --> 00:31:30.519
<v Speaker 1>When I grow up, I would like to.

624
00:31:33.200 --> 00:31:38.920
<v Speaker 2>Be like Maury Schwartz of the Tuesdays with Maury Fame

625
00:31:39.680 --> 00:31:43.119
<v Speaker 2>with Mitch Album. Maury Schwartz, as you know his he was.

626
00:31:43.920 --> 00:31:49.160
<v Speaker 2>He was a professor at Brandeice University. He Mitch Album

627
00:31:49.359 --> 00:31:52.559
<v Speaker 2>was one of his favorite students and Mitch and Maury

628
00:31:52.720 --> 00:31:58.039
<v Speaker 2>was Mitch's favorite professor. Mitch took five courses with him.

629
00:31:58.039 --> 00:32:01.119
<v Speaker 2>They had office hours on Tuesdays, so therefore when they

630
00:32:01.160 --> 00:32:03.319
<v Speaker 2>reconnected again, it was Tuesdays with Maury.

631
00:32:04.000 --> 00:32:04.960
<v Speaker 3>And Maury.

632
00:32:06.599 --> 00:32:09.920
<v Speaker 2>Did something in the nineties that probably nobody would do,

633
00:32:09.960 --> 00:32:13.160
<v Speaker 2>and then it was considered a visionary. He was dying

634
00:32:13.160 --> 00:32:14.759
<v Speaker 2>and he wanted the world to know how this is

635
00:32:14.759 --> 00:32:19.079
<v Speaker 2>how you die, and so he Ted Copple did a

636
00:32:19.160 --> 00:32:22.759
<v Speaker 2>series of interviews with him and lessons on Living. Mitch

637
00:32:22.839 --> 00:32:25.839
<v Speaker 2>Album wrote the book which became one of with Maury,

638
00:32:25.880 --> 00:32:28.599
<v Speaker 2>which became one of the with the best selling memoir

639
00:32:28.640 --> 00:32:29.319
<v Speaker 2>as far as I know.

640
00:32:29.319 --> 00:32:29.880
<v Speaker 3>In history.

641
00:32:30.640 --> 00:32:35.039
<v Speaker 2>And Maury Schwartz taught us not so much how to die,

642
00:32:35.079 --> 00:32:37.279
<v Speaker 2>but taught us how to live while you're dying and

643
00:32:37.319 --> 00:32:39.920
<v Speaker 2>how you can use your end of life chapter as

644
00:32:39.920 --> 00:32:42.880
<v Speaker 2>another means of spiritual growth and introspection. And I thought

645
00:32:42.920 --> 00:32:47.119
<v Speaker 2>it was I show that I have the book as

646
00:32:47.200 --> 00:32:50.000
<v Speaker 2>part of required reading from my Dead, Dying and Bereathment class.

647
00:32:50.039 --> 00:32:52.960
<v Speaker 2>I show the lessons on Living interviews and it's like

648
00:32:53.960 --> 00:32:57.920
<v Speaker 2>his lessons thirty years later, Yeah, thirty years later or

649
00:32:58.160 --> 00:33:01.039
<v Speaker 2>more than thirty years later, are still relevant now. And

650
00:33:01.079 --> 00:33:03.400
<v Speaker 2>I've had students tell me that I wasn't even born

651
00:33:04.039 --> 00:33:07.599
<v Speaker 2>when Maury Schwartz was around, but his teachings resonate with me.

652
00:33:09.880 --> 00:33:11.559
<v Speaker 1>It's a measure of a classic, isn't it.

653
00:33:12.039 --> 00:33:12.200
<v Speaker 3>YEA.

654
00:33:12.640 --> 00:33:14.880
<v Speaker 2>I told my students that I could be as eighth

655
00:33:14.880 --> 00:33:16.799
<v Speaker 2>the good of a teacher as he was. I'd be

656
00:33:16.839 --> 00:33:19.559
<v Speaker 2>a happy man, you know. And that's and he was

657
00:33:19.559 --> 00:33:21.839
<v Speaker 2>he was to meet a counselor he was another one,

658
00:33:22.039 --> 00:33:24.759
<v Speaker 2>another person you would put on my list for dinner

659
00:33:25.079 --> 00:33:26.680
<v Speaker 2>that I would love to have a conversation with.

660
00:33:27.440 --> 00:33:32.119
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely. Well, there's also an element of how good the

661
00:33:32.160 --> 00:33:35.319
<v Speaker 1>student is too, and I suspect you were a damn

662
00:33:35.359 --> 00:33:36.160
<v Speaker 1>good student of his.

663
00:33:37.200 --> 00:33:40.519
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I still am, you know, I still he's still

664
00:33:40.680 --> 00:33:42.720
<v Speaker 2>you know, every time I read his book in great

665
00:33:43.039 --> 00:33:44.000
<v Speaker 2>papers that are.

666
00:33:45.720 --> 00:33:47.279
<v Speaker 3>That are a part of the.

667
00:33:47.440 --> 00:33:49.880
<v Speaker 2>One of the Britain assignments is based on the Tuesdays

668
00:33:49.880 --> 00:33:52.240
<v Speaker 2>with Mary book, it's almost like I hear his voice

669
00:33:52.279 --> 00:33:54.440
<v Speaker 2>in my head, you know, as I'm great and I

670
00:33:54.480 --> 00:33:58.359
<v Speaker 2>consider him to be a partner in crime with me

671
00:33:58.440 --> 00:34:01.359
<v Speaker 2>in terms of a and a partner of teaching the

672
00:34:01.400 --> 00:34:03.920
<v Speaker 2>course because I take a lot of you know, a

673
00:34:03.960 --> 00:34:06.839
<v Speaker 2>lot of his what he did to connect with students,

674
00:34:07.119 --> 00:34:08.880
<v Speaker 2>and I try to imolate that as well too.

675
00:34:09.679 --> 00:34:10.480
<v Speaker 1>Can you feel it?

676
00:34:11.519 --> 00:34:13.119
<v Speaker 3>What do he neil?

677
00:34:13.199 --> 00:34:13.559
<v Speaker 2>What do y?

678
00:34:13.719 --> 00:34:14.719
<v Speaker 3>Yeah? What do he neil?

679
00:34:15.519 --> 00:34:17.559
<v Speaker 1>They're all smiling at us right now.

680
00:34:17.960 --> 00:34:21.440
<v Speaker 2>I think, I hope so, because well we remember their

681
00:34:21.559 --> 00:34:24.039
<v Speaker 2>names and we talk about them, they're never forgotten.

682
00:34:24.559 --> 00:34:28.360
<v Speaker 1>That's exactly right. So the last person unders your name,

683
00:34:28.400 --> 00:34:35.039
<v Speaker 1>the last time yeap, beautiful. So it's a very interesting line.

684
00:34:35.039 --> 00:34:37.719
<v Speaker 1>But what's the most important thing in life to you

685
00:34:37.840 --> 00:34:38.360
<v Speaker 1>right now?

686
00:34:39.880 --> 00:34:43.039
<v Speaker 2>Well, I think you know, I look at it now,

687
00:34:43.199 --> 00:34:46.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm sixty nine years old. I feel good. But I

688
00:34:46.880 --> 00:34:50.199
<v Speaker 2>also know that there are more winters behind me than

689
00:34:50.199 --> 00:34:53.239
<v Speaker 2>they're in front of me. Yeah, and so, and I'm

690
00:34:53.280 --> 00:34:55.559
<v Speaker 2>very very conscious of that. So it's the live each

691
00:34:55.639 --> 00:34:59.360
<v Speaker 2>day to the fullest. It's to be the best father, grandfather,

692
00:34:59.480 --> 00:35:01.800
<v Speaker 2>great grand father. I can be the best professor, I

693
00:35:01.800 --> 00:35:05.239
<v Speaker 2>can be the best husband I can be. It's just

694
00:35:05.280 --> 00:35:08.480
<v Speaker 2>to live life to the fullest, live it with compassion,

695
00:35:08.880 --> 00:35:12.239
<v Speaker 2>live it with a giving heart, and be grateful for

696
00:35:12.280 --> 00:35:14.519
<v Speaker 2>every day that I can sit up and take nourishment.

697
00:35:16.519 --> 00:35:20.199
<v Speaker 2>So that's what what I I The most important thing

698
00:35:20.199 --> 00:35:22.000
<v Speaker 2>in life to me right now is too because I

699
00:35:22.000 --> 00:35:24.440
<v Speaker 2>wake up every day and I think, I thank the

700
00:35:24.480 --> 00:35:27.039
<v Speaker 2>Lord for well, thank thanks for letting my body work,

701
00:35:27.679 --> 00:35:29.719
<v Speaker 2>Thanks for giving me another day to do what I'm

702
00:35:29.760 --> 00:35:32.880
<v Speaker 2>passionate about. Thanks for giving me the day yesterday to

703
00:35:32.920 --> 00:35:35.159
<v Speaker 2>do what I was passionate about. Thanks for liking let

704
00:35:35.199 --> 00:35:38.360
<v Speaker 2>me wake up today, because it isn't a given. I mean,

705
00:35:38.920 --> 00:35:41.159
<v Speaker 2>you know, sometimes I'll ask myself, why was I allowed

706
00:35:41.199 --> 00:35:43.920
<v Speaker 2>to grow older, Bill, you know, especially when I've seen,

707
00:35:44.039 --> 00:35:46.559
<v Speaker 2>you know, my daughter transition at a young age, and

708
00:35:46.679 --> 00:35:50.320
<v Speaker 2>individuals who are younger than me are transitioning all the time,

709
00:35:50.360 --> 00:35:52.280
<v Speaker 2>and I'm thinking, what's so special?

710
00:35:52.760 --> 00:35:53.280
<v Speaker 3>But you know.

711
00:35:55.039 --> 00:35:58.280
<v Speaker 2>It's, yeah, that's a question that's going to have to

712
00:35:58.320 --> 00:35:59.760
<v Speaker 2>remain unanswered because I don't.

713
00:35:59.639 --> 00:36:01.400
<v Speaker 3>Have to answer to that. I don't think anybody does.

714
00:36:01.800 --> 00:36:04.519
<v Speaker 2>I might know once I get to that next dimension

715
00:36:04.960 --> 00:36:06.840
<v Speaker 2>and there's a review of my life to say, this

716
00:36:06.920 --> 00:36:09.440
<v Speaker 2>is why your life is orchestrated the way it was.

717
00:36:09.920 --> 00:36:12.159
<v Speaker 2>This is why we gave you X number of years

718
00:36:12.159 --> 00:36:16.079
<v Speaker 2>to do what you needed to do. This is why

719
00:36:16.280 --> 00:36:18.760
<v Speaker 2>your daughter is only given eighteen years to do what

720
00:36:18.840 --> 00:36:21.920
<v Speaker 2>she had to do, because in sacred law, eighteen years

721
00:36:22.000 --> 00:36:24.800
<v Speaker 2>is enough for her soul to learn the lessons that

722
00:36:24.960 --> 00:36:27.280
<v Speaker 2>had to learn, for her to teach through her presence,

723
00:36:27.639 --> 00:36:29.639
<v Speaker 2>and now it was time for her because in the

724
00:36:29.679 --> 00:36:32.159
<v Speaker 2>after life, we don't need a riskwatch. You know, we

725
00:36:32.199 --> 00:36:35.199
<v Speaker 2>don't go on physical time. From what I've read about

726
00:36:35.239 --> 00:36:39.679
<v Speaker 2>the afterlife, we don't do that. So eighteen years in

727
00:36:39.760 --> 00:36:42.760
<v Speaker 2>sacred law is maybe is a long time, but in

728
00:36:42.840 --> 00:36:47.360
<v Speaker 2>human law isn't. In human law, their lives are just beginning, so.

729
00:36:49.199 --> 00:36:56.679
<v Speaker 1>The lovely thought. And sometimes you might find out that

730
00:36:56.719 --> 00:36:58.840
<v Speaker 1>there is no why no.

731
00:37:00.039 --> 00:37:01.400
<v Speaker 3>And you know, I tell people build.

732
00:37:01.199 --> 00:37:05.360
<v Speaker 1>Some that says shit happens yep, well, and.

733
00:37:05.320 --> 00:37:06.239
<v Speaker 3>The other the other day.

734
00:37:06.280 --> 00:37:08.519
<v Speaker 2>I tell students, I tell my students anybody, we have

735
00:37:08.559 --> 00:37:10.280
<v Speaker 2>to learn to live with some ambiguity. We're not going

736
00:37:10.360 --> 00:37:11.719
<v Speaker 2>to you know, we have to learn to live with

737
00:37:11.800 --> 00:37:14.679
<v Speaker 2>the unknown. Yeah, And we have to learn to live

738
00:37:14.719 --> 00:37:17.039
<v Speaker 2>with the mystery. And I mean Native Americans talk about

739
00:37:17.039 --> 00:37:19.639
<v Speaker 2>the great mystery. And I believe in one of Kent

740
00:37:19.719 --> 00:37:23.480
<v Speaker 2>Neurburn's book, Wisdom of the Stones, Life Lessons from the

741
00:37:23.599 --> 00:37:26.800
<v Speaker 2>Native Way in Neurburn is one of my favorite writers,

742
00:37:26.800 --> 00:37:30.920
<v Speaker 2>and he's respected Native American culture because he writes authentically

743
00:37:30.960 --> 00:37:33.840
<v Speaker 2>about the culture and he doesn't write it from the

744
00:37:33.920 --> 00:37:37.360
<v Speaker 2>perspective of being, you know, being being a white man.

745
00:37:37.400 --> 00:37:43.840
<v Speaker 2>He tries to reflect very very accurately the traditions and

746
00:37:43.880 --> 00:37:47.159
<v Speaker 2>their works. And one of the things he talked in

747
00:37:47.199 --> 00:37:49.199
<v Speaker 2>the Wisdom of the Stones there was a lacoat elder

748
00:37:49.239 --> 00:37:51.639
<v Speaker 2>that he's said, you know, life isn't a puzzle to

749
00:37:51.639 --> 00:37:53.400
<v Speaker 2>be solved, it's a mystery to be honored.

750
00:37:54.039 --> 00:37:56.239
<v Speaker 3>And you know, and a.

751
00:37:56.280 --> 00:37:59.000
<v Speaker 2>Lot of times it's difficult to understand that when you're

752
00:37:59.039 --> 00:38:01.639
<v Speaker 2>going through the throes of and really of early grief.

753
00:38:02.119 --> 00:38:04.360
<v Speaker 2>But as I look back on it, Yeah, it is

754
00:38:04.400 --> 00:38:05.719
<v Speaker 2>a mystery to be on it because we're not going

755
00:38:05.800 --> 00:38:07.800
<v Speaker 2>to have the answers to everything that we want, and

756
00:38:07.840 --> 00:38:10.800
<v Speaker 2>we just have to embrace the mystery and accept that

757
00:38:11.840 --> 00:38:13.679
<v Speaker 2>it is a mystery. We're not going to find out

758
00:38:13.760 --> 00:38:16.239
<v Speaker 2>until it is our time, and it may not be

759
00:38:16.320 --> 00:38:18.039
<v Speaker 2>our time on earth, and may be our time when

760
00:38:18.079 --> 00:38:20.840
<v Speaker 2>we get to another dimension, when we find out exactly

761
00:38:22.039 --> 00:38:25.320
<v Speaker 2>what are why we were allowed to to do what

762
00:38:25.360 --> 00:38:28.320
<v Speaker 2>we did and live as long as we did, and

763
00:38:28.079 --> 00:38:31.000
<v Speaker 2>we embraced we were embraced the path that we did.

764
00:38:33.320 --> 00:38:37.079
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, there's a Buddhist tenant also that says that the

765
00:38:37.159 --> 00:38:41.840
<v Speaker 1>path to wisdom is where you stop learning and when

766
00:38:41.920 --> 00:38:44.800
<v Speaker 1>you can sit and dwell in a question without needing

767
00:38:44.840 --> 00:38:48.000
<v Speaker 1>to have an answer. Yep, you don't need wisdom any

768
00:38:48.079 --> 00:38:51.840
<v Speaker 1>longer either. And once you dwell in the quiet, you

769
00:38:51.920 --> 00:38:56.039
<v Speaker 1>silence your mind. The answers come to you anyway. Yeah,

770
00:38:56.119 --> 00:38:59.639
<v Speaker 1>And it's it's not like explain explaining what happened, it's

771
00:38:59.840 --> 00:39:01.519
<v Speaker 1>like explaining what you do next.

772
00:39:01.880 --> 00:39:02.920
<v Speaker 3>Yep, exactly.

773
00:39:03.199 --> 00:39:05.360
<v Speaker 2>And even if the answer is there's no answer. But

774
00:39:05.400 --> 00:39:07.519
<v Speaker 2>Atlicia discovered that in the quiet of your own mind.

775
00:39:08.039 --> 00:39:11.280
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, and when you can be with that, you're a

776
00:39:11.320 --> 00:39:12.920
<v Speaker 1>powerful human being, you know.

777
00:39:13.079 --> 00:39:15.719
<v Speaker 2>Ye, yeah, and that's the path to acceptance.

778
00:39:17.280 --> 00:39:23.039
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. So here you are. You've got good Lord, probably

779
00:39:23.199 --> 00:39:28.360
<v Speaker 1>hundreds of thousands of wise cliches and just all sorts

780
00:39:28.400 --> 00:39:32.480
<v Speaker 1>of prescriptive things that you've worked with until they're no

781
00:39:32.519 --> 00:39:38.079
<v Speaker 1>longer cliche. They're actually tools, you know, which is really remarkable.

782
00:39:38.119 --> 00:39:41.559
<v Speaker 1>And you you traffic and live in the coin of

783
00:39:41.599 --> 00:39:45.599
<v Speaker 1>the realm, being death drat, dying in bereavement and being

784
00:39:45.719 --> 00:39:49.719
<v Speaker 1>kind of a sherpa for people who those are scary

785
00:39:49.800 --> 00:39:52.960
<v Speaker 1>words for I can to ask you this one, with

786
00:39:53.239 --> 00:39:56.639
<v Speaker 1>all due reverence and respect, what would you like to

787
00:39:56.719 --> 00:39:58.559
<v Speaker 1>leave in the world after your life is done?

788
00:39:58.639 --> 00:39:58.840
<v Speaker 3>Dave?

789
00:40:01.000 --> 00:40:03.519
<v Speaker 2>Well, you know, one of the things I would like

790
00:40:03.599 --> 00:40:06.440
<v Speaker 2>to be remembered to the extent that people will remember.

791
00:40:06.480 --> 00:40:08.320
<v Speaker 3>And I you know, I don't want to be forgotten.

792
00:40:08.719 --> 00:40:10.840
<v Speaker 2>I want to And I think that's a fear that

793
00:40:10.920 --> 00:40:12.480
<v Speaker 2>every a lot of us have, is we're going to

794
00:40:12.559 --> 00:40:16.480
<v Speaker 2>be forgotten once we're gone. And I'm not expecting people

795
00:40:16.480 --> 00:40:19.559
<v Speaker 2>are going to have their names, you know, uttered from

796
00:40:19.719 --> 00:40:22.920
<v Speaker 2>their lips, you know, twenty four to seven. But I

797
00:40:23.159 --> 00:40:25.880
<v Speaker 2>wanted I would like to be remembered. I would like

798
00:40:26.039 --> 00:40:30.320
<v Speaker 2>what I believe I've left that I've taught to my students,

799
00:40:31.039 --> 00:40:34.199
<v Speaker 2>to my children. I want those lessons to go on

800
00:40:34.360 --> 00:40:39.079
<v Speaker 2>long after I do that. I want those lessons that

801
00:40:39.159 --> 00:40:41.280
<v Speaker 2>continue to live in and be passed on to others,

802
00:40:41.280 --> 00:40:44.760
<v Speaker 2>because if those lessons are passed on, we will live

803
00:40:44.800 --> 00:40:47.960
<v Speaker 2>in in the hearts of others. And that's that's really

804
00:40:48.280 --> 00:40:50.960
<v Speaker 2>what I want. I would I would like to have

805
00:40:51.039 --> 00:40:53.719
<v Speaker 2>happened in the world, is just to leave that type

806
00:40:53.719 --> 00:40:56.119
<v Speaker 2>of you know that Hey, you know, Day taught me

807
00:40:56.159 --> 00:40:57.960
<v Speaker 2>a couple of things, and I think I can I

808
00:40:58.000 --> 00:41:01.079
<v Speaker 2>can use that moving forward and I sent onto something else.

809
00:41:01.079 --> 00:41:04.599
<v Speaker 2>And if that happens wherever I am, I'll be I'll

810
00:41:04.639 --> 00:41:07.559
<v Speaker 2>be satisfied with that. That was a life well lived

811
00:41:07.599 --> 00:41:07.840
<v Speaker 2>for me.

812
00:41:09.239 --> 00:41:13.079
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it sounds to me I would label that as like,

813
00:41:13.239 --> 00:41:18.199
<v Speaker 1>you know, legacy technology for living, uh, you know, for

814
00:41:18.880 --> 00:41:22.599
<v Speaker 1>here's the tools, ladies and gentlemen, A minute to learn,

815
00:41:22.639 --> 00:41:25.079
<v Speaker 1>a lifetime to master, you know, kind of like chess.

816
00:41:25.599 --> 00:41:27.800
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, pretty much. Yeah.

817
00:41:27.960 --> 00:41:31.000
<v Speaker 2>I used to play chess, then I got out of

818
00:41:31.000 --> 00:41:32.760
<v Speaker 2>the halb. Now if you asked me how to play chess. Now,

819
00:41:33.519 --> 00:41:37.360
<v Speaker 2>that's like not even in my remote memory bank my

820
00:41:37.440 --> 00:41:40.119
<v Speaker 2>hippo campus. I couldn't go far enough my hippa campus

821
00:41:40.119 --> 00:41:43.320
<v Speaker 2>to bowl that out. So that is long.

822
00:41:43.719 --> 00:41:46.000
<v Speaker 3>That's long out of short term and long term memory.

823
00:41:46.480 --> 00:41:49.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I actually love it. I think the whole notion

824
00:41:50.079 --> 00:41:54.480
<v Speaker 1>of having the distinctions that you do at the ripe

825
00:41:54.559 --> 00:41:57.159
<v Speaker 1>old age or young age of sixty nine, however you

826
00:41:57.280 --> 00:42:00.320
<v Speaker 1>regard it, it's it's kind of a healthy way to

827
00:42:00.320 --> 00:42:02.840
<v Speaker 1>sit and try to make sense of what's going on.

828
00:42:03.119 --> 00:42:07.719
<v Speaker 1>You know, do do you go to the baker much?

829
00:42:09.400 --> 00:42:10.480
<v Speaker 3>Do I go to the baker?

830
00:42:10.960 --> 00:42:15.519
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, as far as I have a couple of really

831
00:42:16.079 --> 00:42:19.280
<v Speaker 2>good places locally, then I'll go for good cookies and muffins.

832
00:42:19.719 --> 00:42:21.840
<v Speaker 1>Well, here's the thing. When I was growing up, we

833
00:42:21.960 --> 00:42:26.599
<v Speaker 1>had a baker in our community, and that woman was fantastic.

834
00:42:26.679 --> 00:42:28.920
<v Speaker 1>Every time we went to go see here, if we

835
00:42:29.000 --> 00:42:32.000
<v Speaker 1>bought twelve of something, we always got a thirteenth one

836
00:42:32.079 --> 00:42:36.159
<v Speaker 1>for you, kind of like the old Chinese restaurants, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

837
00:42:36.320 --> 00:42:38.360
<v Speaker 1>with four you get egg roll, you know, or there's

838
00:42:38.679 --> 00:42:40.880
<v Speaker 1>some free fried rice in there or something like that.

839
00:42:40.920 --> 00:42:44.559
<v Speaker 1>But here's your Baker's question, which is a little off

840
00:42:44.639 --> 00:42:48.719
<v Speaker 1>track to everything that we've been talking about so far.

841
00:42:48.760 --> 00:42:52.400
<v Speaker 1>But what do you say is the thing that most

842
00:42:52.440 --> 00:42:53.880
<v Speaker 1>people misunderstand about you?

843
00:42:54.880 --> 00:42:57.360
<v Speaker 2>Well, you know the old saying, don't mistake my kindness

844
00:42:57.400 --> 00:43:01.880
<v Speaker 2>for weakness. Yeah, I think a lot of people don't

845
00:43:02.000 --> 00:43:07.400
<v Speaker 2>understand that I may know more about a situation that

846
00:43:07.400 --> 00:43:10.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm letting out about because I try to observe, and

847
00:43:11.960 --> 00:43:16.280
<v Speaker 2>I very much I will quietly and not do it

848
00:43:16.280 --> 00:43:20.639
<v Speaker 2>with any fuss. If I will quietly back away from

849
00:43:20.639 --> 00:43:24.559
<v Speaker 2>individuals who no longer value me or organizations who no

850
00:43:24.639 --> 00:43:28.000
<v Speaker 2>longer value me, and I'll do that, and I'll come

851
00:43:28.079 --> 00:43:32.280
<v Speaker 2>up with a very legitimate reason in writing for that

852
00:43:32.400 --> 00:43:36.519
<v Speaker 2>to happen. But as I've learned, you know, you know,

853
00:43:36.880 --> 00:43:39.920
<v Speaker 2>in the work we're working world, the reasons that people

854
00:43:39.960 --> 00:43:42.599
<v Speaker 2>state that they're doing stuff on paper isn't always the

855
00:43:42.639 --> 00:43:45.360
<v Speaker 2>reasons that they're doing it. It's kind of like more

856
00:43:45.400 --> 00:43:49.639
<v Speaker 2>like a cover story. So I may not say a lot,

857
00:43:50.039 --> 00:43:53.079
<v Speaker 2>but I pride myself, and I'm not saying this with

858
00:43:53.119 --> 00:43:56.320
<v Speaker 2>any arrogance. I just pride myself on knowing what's going

859
00:43:56.360 --> 00:43:59.719
<v Speaker 2>on and maybe not revealing that I do until the

860
00:43:59.800 --> 00:44:01.840
<v Speaker 2>time is right. A lot of people think, well, Dave

861
00:44:01.920 --> 00:44:06.039
<v Speaker 2>isn't saying much, so he's probably in agreement, or he

862
00:44:06.199 --> 00:44:11.320
<v Speaker 2>probably isn't aware of the full the full scope of

863
00:44:11.360 --> 00:44:13.800
<v Speaker 2>the issue. But I'm aware of it. I'll just choose

864
00:44:13.840 --> 00:44:15.599
<v Speaker 2>to not say anything about it because to say it

865
00:44:15.639 --> 00:44:18.480
<v Speaker 2>in that setting may not be the right place to

866
00:44:18.519 --> 00:44:22.079
<v Speaker 2>do that. So I may hold that, sit with it

867
00:44:22.760 --> 00:44:25.960
<v Speaker 2>and give my opinion in a way or my observation

868
00:44:26.039 --> 00:44:27.360
<v Speaker 2>in a way that I think it's going to be

869
00:44:27.400 --> 00:44:30.119
<v Speaker 2>more heard and it's going to allow me to continue

870
00:44:30.119 --> 00:44:31.039
<v Speaker 2>to stay invisible.

871
00:44:31.679 --> 00:44:35.679
<v Speaker 1>Sure, yep, all things in their own time, right, Yep.

872
00:44:35.960 --> 00:44:38.159
<v Speaker 2>I mean I'd like to draw attention to the things

873
00:44:38.159 --> 00:44:40.119
<v Speaker 2>that I do, but I don't like to draw and

874
00:44:40.159 --> 00:44:41.400
<v Speaker 2>do attention to myself.

875
00:44:43.239 --> 00:44:46.519
<v Speaker 1>Yes, I'm with you. Produce a result and let people

876
00:44:46.559 --> 00:44:49.480
<v Speaker 1>appreciate the result, and whether they give you credit for

877
00:44:49.599 --> 00:44:51.559
<v Speaker 1>it or not, it kind of doesn't matter, does it.

878
00:44:51.920 --> 00:44:53.679
<v Speaker 2>No, it doesn't because I think the other thing is

879
00:44:53.760 --> 00:44:57.559
<v Speaker 2>my supervisor. I'd mentioned before who best supervisor and mentor

880
00:44:57.679 --> 00:45:00.840
<v Speaker 2>I ever had in a workplace. He taught me, he said,

881
00:45:01.199 --> 00:45:05.119
<v Speaker 2>never take credit for other people's accomplishments. Always give credit

882
00:45:05.119 --> 00:45:08.039
<v Speaker 2>where credits due. So when I became the middle management

883
00:45:08.199 --> 00:45:12.239
<v Speaker 2>middle manager supervisor, middle management supervisor, and the director come

884
00:45:12.280 --> 00:45:13.400
<v Speaker 2>up and say, you know, you really did a good

885
00:45:13.440 --> 00:45:15.119
<v Speaker 2>job with us so well, it wasn't me that did it.

886
00:45:15.119 --> 00:45:18.880
<v Speaker 2>It was you need to give the credit to this person,

887
00:45:19.039 --> 00:45:23.000
<v Speaker 2>to the staff person who did it. She came up

888
00:45:23.000 --> 00:45:25.599
<v Speaker 2>with the constants, she came up with the design, and

889
00:45:25.679 --> 00:45:28.159
<v Speaker 2>she did the intervention. I said, I just signed off

890
00:45:28.159 --> 00:45:29.760
<v Speaker 2>on it. I said, you need to give her credit

891
00:45:29.800 --> 00:45:31.719
<v Speaker 2>where credits to because she made both of us look

892
00:45:31.760 --> 00:45:32.320
<v Speaker 2>good doing that.

893
00:45:33.760 --> 00:45:36.320
<v Speaker 1>You can credit me for being brilliant for hiring her,

894
00:45:36.440 --> 00:45:40.519
<v Speaker 1>and exactly, I'm trying not to get in her way.

895
00:45:41.000 --> 00:45:42.719
<v Speaker 2>Well, you know, that's one of the things that I

896
00:45:43.039 --> 00:45:47.159
<v Speaker 2>think is kind of a misguided assumption from leaders is

897
00:45:47.199 --> 00:45:50.719
<v Speaker 2>that good people can be a threat to a leader.

898
00:45:50.760 --> 00:45:53.159
<v Speaker 2>And said, that's further from the truth. If you think

899
00:45:53.199 --> 00:45:55.239
<v Speaker 2>good people are a threat to you, then you're insecure

900
00:45:55.239 --> 00:45:57.280
<v Speaker 2>as a leader or you're not really a great leader

901
00:45:57.320 --> 00:45:59.800
<v Speaker 2>at all. The best leaders I know are the ones

902
00:45:59.840 --> 00:46:02.480
<v Speaker 2>that have people around them. They put people around them

903
00:46:02.639 --> 00:46:05.519
<v Speaker 2>want are better than them. They have more skills than

904
00:46:05.960 --> 00:46:09.280
<v Speaker 2>they can complement their deficiencies. They give them a task,

905
00:46:09.320 --> 00:46:11.880
<v Speaker 2>They're very direct about what happens what they need happen,

906
00:46:12.440 --> 00:46:14.159
<v Speaker 2>and they just let people do their jobs and they're

907
00:46:14.159 --> 00:46:17.559
<v Speaker 2>a resource. That's what vice supervisor is. Who is again

908
00:46:17.639 --> 00:46:21.880
<v Speaker 2>the next ex and Navy Seale commander and CSW. He

909
00:46:21.960 --> 00:46:24.400
<v Speaker 2>knew how to build terms teams, you know, how to

910
00:46:24.400 --> 00:46:27.920
<v Speaker 2>put people in. Everybody had a role, everybody knew what

911
00:46:28.000 --> 00:46:28.800
<v Speaker 2>their job was.

912
00:46:29.159 --> 00:46:29.880
<v Speaker 3>We just had to.

913
00:46:29.800 --> 00:46:32.760
<v Speaker 2>Pull together, pull our strengths together for the good of

914
00:46:32.800 --> 00:46:35.159
<v Speaker 2>the team. That's what he taught us. Yeah, and that's

915
00:46:35.199 --> 00:46:38.960
<v Speaker 2>what I And don't take credit for something you didn't do.

916
00:46:40.719 --> 00:46:44.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Again, there's so many things that we're talking about

917
00:46:45.000 --> 00:46:47.239
<v Speaker 1>that I actually think we could talk for hours and

918
00:46:47.280 --> 00:46:50.960
<v Speaker 1>hours and hours on any given subject that we've we've

919
00:46:50.960 --> 00:46:55.960
<v Speaker 1>covered today. So absolutely, Yeah. I just have one kind

920
00:46:55.960 --> 00:46:58.000
<v Speaker 1>of a question to sort of tie this all together.

921
00:46:58.480 --> 00:47:01.840
<v Speaker 1>Are there any like last thoughts that you've got or

922
00:47:01.880 --> 00:47:04.599
<v Speaker 1>maybe something that you thought of after you were speaking

923
00:47:04.599 --> 00:47:07.039
<v Speaker 1>in a particular area you just want to leave with

924
00:47:07.119 --> 00:47:09.840
<v Speaker 1>people to consider or as you know, kind of like

925
00:47:10.039 --> 00:47:11.840
<v Speaker 1>thought a thought gift.

926
00:47:12.639 --> 00:47:12.880
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

927
00:47:12.960 --> 00:47:17.039
<v Speaker 2>I think sometimes people underestimate the impact that they have

928
00:47:17.159 --> 00:47:20.920
<v Speaker 2>on others. And to a tell individual, don't underestimate the

929
00:47:20.960 --> 00:47:24.639
<v Speaker 2>impact that you have on anybody in your life. It

930
00:47:24.679 --> 00:47:26.559
<v Speaker 2>may be as simple as opening up a door for

931
00:47:26.599 --> 00:47:28.679
<v Speaker 2>somebody who's having a bad day or is thinking of

932
00:47:28.719 --> 00:47:32.920
<v Speaker 2>completing suicide. It may be just doing something nice for somebody.

933
00:47:32.960 --> 00:47:36.719
<v Speaker 2>It'll have to be major. But understand that everything that

934
00:47:36.760 --> 00:47:39.360
<v Speaker 2>you do has an impact somewhere, and you may never

935
00:47:39.440 --> 00:47:42.159
<v Speaker 2>know what that impact is. But as long as you

936
00:47:42.280 --> 00:47:48.400
<v Speaker 2>are leading with love, genuineness, and integrity and compassion, you're

937
00:47:48.400 --> 00:47:51.440
<v Speaker 2>going to have an impact on somebody. And trust that

938
00:47:51.480 --> 00:47:56.800
<v Speaker 2>when you put what you put out is gonna multiply.

939
00:47:57.519 --> 00:47:59.760
<v Speaker 2>And if you put out love and compassion to somebody else,

940
00:47:59.880 --> 00:48:02.559
<v Speaker 2>or to show love and compassion and as to another

941
00:48:02.599 --> 00:48:04.960
<v Speaker 2>person down the line, and that's what's going to make

942
00:48:04.960 --> 00:48:08.199
<v Speaker 2>the world a more peaceful, inclusive, and tolerant place if

943
00:48:08.199 --> 00:48:09.880
<v Speaker 2>we all do that, one person at a time.

944
00:48:11.480 --> 00:48:14.119
<v Speaker 1>Great message. I appreciate it, Dave. Do you have any

945
00:48:14.199 --> 00:48:14.840
<v Speaker 1>questions of me?

946
00:48:16.320 --> 00:48:18.639
<v Speaker 2>No, I think this is a This is a whole

947
00:48:18.639 --> 00:48:21.440
<v Speaker 2>lot of fun. I had a great time to talk

948
00:48:21.519 --> 00:48:24.639
<v Speaker 2>with me that this is different from podcasts that I'm

949
00:48:24.719 --> 00:48:28.400
<v Speaker 2>used to doing. You know, obviously you know with with

950
00:48:28.559 --> 00:48:30.719
<v Speaker 2>just in terms of my background and my you know,

951
00:48:30.800 --> 00:48:33.119
<v Speaker 2>my history with grief and loss and doing work with

952
00:48:33.280 --> 00:48:36.719
<v Speaker 2>in that area. But this has been great because these

953
00:48:36.719 --> 00:48:39.400
<v Speaker 2>are these are great questions, and this gave me an

954
00:48:39.440 --> 00:48:42.639
<v Speaker 2>opportunity to also talk about things that I might not

955
00:48:42.760 --> 00:48:45.320
<v Speaker 2>have considered otherwise, but also are a big part of

956
00:48:45.320 --> 00:48:47.519
<v Speaker 2>who I am I am and much of which strives

957
00:48:47.559 --> 00:48:49.760
<v Speaker 2>the service work that I do now. So thanks for that.

958
00:48:50.599 --> 00:48:53.559
<v Speaker 1>You're entirely welcome. It is my privilege and pleasure. I

959
00:48:53.760 --> 00:48:57.599
<v Speaker 1>appreciate having you on today. Thank you for that. And

960
00:48:57.639 --> 00:48:59.760
<v Speaker 1>I think before we sign off, I just want to,

961
00:49:00.119 --> 00:49:05.800
<v Speaker 1>uh remind everyone that we're not in this, uh, we're

962
00:49:05.840 --> 00:49:08.199
<v Speaker 1>not in this in this journey alone. There are people

963
00:49:08.280 --> 00:49:11.159
<v Speaker 1>in your life that you should reach out to, uh

964
00:49:11.480 --> 00:49:15.519
<v Speaker 1>text message, telephone call, maybe an email or something. Just

965
00:49:15.599 --> 00:49:18.199
<v Speaker 1>let them know that your life works because you're they're here,

966
00:49:18.880 --> 00:49:22.400
<v Speaker 1>and if they ever need you, they should always call

967
00:49:22.519 --> 00:49:26.039
<v Speaker 1>you before doing anything that's life changing because you'll be

968
00:49:26.119 --> 00:49:30.320
<v Speaker 1>there for them. With that said, Dave, thank you very much.

969
00:49:30.400 --> 00:49:32.480
<v Speaker 1>It was a pleasure having you as a guest on

970
00:49:32.519 --> 00:49:33.960
<v Speaker 1>my porch. Thank you so much.

971
00:49:35.239 --> 00:49:37.679
<v Speaker 2>Bill is great. Share on a porch with you next time.

972
00:49:37.679 --> 00:49:39.159
<v Speaker 2>We got to do an early morning once so we

973
00:49:39.159 --> 00:49:40.639
<v Speaker 2>can both have coffee on the porch.

974
00:49:41.760 --> 00:49:44.880
<v Speaker 1>We do pretty well with our coffee don't we I do.

975
00:49:44.960 --> 00:49:47.440
<v Speaker 2>That's something that is a staple. That's one of my

976
00:49:47.920 --> 00:49:50.079
<v Speaker 2>only vices I think I have is coffee.

977
00:49:51.119 --> 00:49:53.480
<v Speaker 1>I'll tell you what I have other vices. But I

978
00:49:53.519 --> 00:49:54.639
<v Speaker 1>really love my coffee.

979
00:49:54.639 --> 00:49:57.000
<v Speaker 3>There's me, me too, me too.

980
00:49:57.119 --> 00:49:59.639
<v Speaker 1>All right, Well, God bless you man and and and

981
00:49:59.639 --> 00:50:00.280
<v Speaker 1>and be well.

982
00:50:00.679 --> 00:50:01.719
<v Speaker 3>Thank you Bill, you too.

983
00:50:02.559 --> 00:50:02.800
<v Speaker 1>Bye.

984
00:50:02.800 --> 00:50:03.280
<v Speaker 3>For now.

985
00:50:05.639 --> 00:50:08.840
<v Speaker 1>You've been listening to Simple Questions for one hundred people,

986
00:50:09.119 --> 00:50:12.360
<v Speaker 1>part of the x Audio podcast Network. You can find

987
00:50:12.400 --> 00:50:16.400
<v Speaker 1>every episode at xvadio dot com, slash podcasts, the Apple

988
00:50:16.480 --> 00:50:22.639
<v Speaker 1>podcast app, Google Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, and wherever you find podcasts.