WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:03.480 Episode with two stories. First part, I hope you enjoy 2 00:00:03.560 --> 00:00:08.359 this story. Harmful guardians who expelled me at eighteen and 3 00:00:08.400 --> 00:00:11.960 disconnected from me appeared at my son's celebration to request 4 00:00:12.000 --> 00:00:15.320 funds and later attempted to bring me to court court 5 00:00:15.359 --> 00:00:20.640 for fifty thousand dollars. I never stole, Hey, everyone, So 6 00:00:20.800 --> 00:00:24.440 I twenty eight m celebrated my son's third birthday three 7 00:00:24.519 --> 00:00:28.160 days ago. It was mostly our co workers with kids 8 00:00:28.199 --> 00:00:30.480 and a couple of my son's friends from his daycare 9 00:00:30.519 --> 00:00:34.439 with their parents. I'd also invited my estranged parents to 10 00:00:34.479 --> 00:00:37.640 the party after they contacted me two weeks ago asking 11 00:00:37.679 --> 00:00:39.359 if they could meet me to make amends with me. 12 00:00:40.479 --> 00:00:42.920 Some backstory here, so it makes sense why I don't 13 00:00:42.920 --> 00:00:46.200 get along with them. So my parents kicked me out 14 00:00:46.240 --> 00:00:48.759 ten years ago, a couple of months before I was 15 00:00:48.759 --> 00:00:52.880 supposed to start college. To make it extra special and poetic, 16 00:00:53.200 --> 00:00:55.159 they also made sure to kick me out on my 17 00:00:55.280 --> 00:00:59.240 eighteenth birthday. My parents were never the most loving or 18 00:00:59.280 --> 00:01:02.840 caring people. I'd say that I was pretty much ignored 19 00:01:02.880 --> 00:01:05.519 and unwanted throughout my childhood, and the only reason my 20 00:01:05.640 --> 00:01:08.560 parents didn't kick me out way before eighteen was probably 21 00:01:08.560 --> 00:01:11.439 because it would be illegal, but they did so the 22 00:01:11.480 --> 00:01:13.959 first chance that they got, and I wasn't even surprised 23 00:01:13.959 --> 00:01:16.439 that they were kicking me out. I was just surprised 24 00:01:16.439 --> 00:01:18.280 that they were doing it on my birthday and just 25 00:01:18.319 --> 00:01:20.680 a couple of months before college was about to begin. 26 00:01:21.719 --> 00:01:23.640 I tried to talk them into letting me live with 27 00:01:23.719 --> 00:01:26.560 them just until I graduated and covering my tuition, but 28 00:01:26.599 --> 00:01:28.359 they were very sure of what they wanted to do. 29 00:01:29.439 --> 00:01:31.400 They wanted me out of their lives so they could 30 00:01:31.400 --> 00:01:34.040 do whatever they'd wanted to so far, instead of wasting 31 00:01:34.079 --> 00:01:37.239 their time taking care of me. Their plans were to 32 00:01:37.280 --> 00:01:39.840 start their own business, which is a financial risk they 33 00:01:39.840 --> 00:01:41.959 couldn't take as long as they had me to look after, 34 00:01:42.000 --> 00:01:45.120 and then travel all the states in an RV. It 35 00:01:45.239 --> 00:01:47.719 was a great plan. I have nothing against what they 36 00:01:47.719 --> 00:01:50.040 wanted to do, but not at the cost of my future. 37 00:01:51.000 --> 00:01:53.640 I tried every manipulation tactic in the book to make 38 00:01:53.680 --> 00:01:56.319 them change their plans, but with no luck. I even 39 00:01:56.359 --> 00:01:59.000 resorted to crying and sobbing, but that didn't help either, 40 00:01:59.040 --> 00:02:00.719 and they told me that I had one month to 41 00:02:00.799 --> 00:02:03.000 vacate the house and find a way for myself to 42 00:02:03.040 --> 00:02:06.640 cover my own expenses. I'd already been working as a 43 00:02:06.640 --> 00:02:08.759 cashier at one of the stores in the local mall 44 00:02:08.840 --> 00:02:11.039 and saving some money to buy a car, but after 45 00:02:11.080 --> 00:02:13.639 my parents talk, I decided to leave and put that 46 00:02:13.759 --> 00:02:16.879 money to use. I didn't have much, but I was 47 00:02:16.919 --> 00:02:20.960 extremely upset with my parents. I'd never liked them much, 48 00:02:21.000 --> 00:02:23.719 but after my birthday I hated them, so within the 49 00:02:23.759 --> 00:02:26.599 next two days, I texted all my relatives if they'd 50 00:02:26.599 --> 00:02:29.599 be willing to help me out. Most of them turned 51 00:02:29.599 --> 00:02:32.120 their backs on me, which was unsurprising and was a 52 00:02:32.199 --> 00:02:34.879 huge part of the reason I'd never spoken anything against 53 00:02:34.919 --> 00:02:37.680 my parents before, because I'd never had anyone to count on. 54 00:02:38.800 --> 00:02:41.159 My friends were nice, but they had their own lives 55 00:02:41.199 --> 00:02:43.599 and wouldn't want me sticking around to live with them either. 56 00:02:44.560 --> 00:02:47.240 But I'm lucky that one of my distant relatives, one 57 00:02:47.280 --> 00:02:50.360 of my mother's cousins, Uncle Kevin, responded to my e 58 00:02:50.479 --> 00:02:52.599 mail and told me that I could come live with him, 59 00:02:52.639 --> 00:02:54.840 but I'd need to make myself useful for as long 60 00:02:54.879 --> 00:02:58.000 as I would stay. I just needed somewhere to go 61 00:02:58.080 --> 00:03:00.560 and live before pack my bags and let to travel 62 00:03:00.599 --> 00:03:03.680 to Utah so I could live with Uncle Kevin. I 63 00:03:03.719 --> 00:03:06.280 didn't tell my parents anything in Nita. Did they ask. 64 00:03:07.360 --> 00:03:09.479 I didn't even tell them good bye one last time 65 00:03:09.520 --> 00:03:11.840 before I left, and I don't suppose they cared much 66 00:03:11.840 --> 00:03:15.000 about it. Uncle Kevin was a nice guy, and he 67 00:03:15.080 --> 00:03:16.719 did make me help him out with a lot of 68 00:03:16.759 --> 00:03:20.280 things around the house, but it was nothing impossible. He 69 00:03:20.360 --> 00:03:23.000 also ran his own diner, which was pretty popular among 70 00:03:23.080 --> 00:03:24.960 the locals, and he told me that I could work 71 00:03:24.960 --> 00:03:27.039 there as the cashier for the time being, and if 72 00:03:27.080 --> 00:03:29.960 I was diligent and sincere, he'd pay for my tuition. 73 00:03:31.000 --> 00:03:33.159 He was a little eccentric, but he was rolling in 74 00:03:33.199 --> 00:03:35.919 money from his grandparents inheritance, and since he had no 75 00:03:36.039 --> 00:03:38.439 family of his own, he could afford to spend his 76 00:03:38.520 --> 00:03:41.080 money on things like these. And that's how I paid 77 00:03:41.120 --> 00:03:43.960 for college by showing my uncle just how serious I 78 00:03:44.039 --> 00:03:47.520 was at the diner by working well and honestly. After 79 00:03:47.599 --> 00:03:50.439 I graduated and moved out, I offered to start paying 80 00:03:50.520 --> 00:03:52.439 him back, but he told me not to bother and 81 00:03:52.479 --> 00:03:54.199 said that he'd collect his dues when I was a 82 00:03:54.199 --> 00:03:59.719 bigger success story. He was weird but sweet. Unfortunately, he 83 00:03:59.800 --> 00:04:02.080 never came to collect his dues, since just a few 84 00:04:02.120 --> 00:04:04.840 years after I left, he passed away from a stroke. 85 00:04:05.800 --> 00:04:08.080 It was sudden, and by the time his housekeeper got 86 00:04:08.159 --> 00:04:11.599 him to the hospital, it was too late already. I'm 87 00:04:11.639 --> 00:04:13.919 thankful for whatever he did for me, and I'll always 88 00:04:14.000 --> 00:04:15.800 be grateful that he was able to at least be 89 00:04:15.879 --> 00:04:18.800 present at my wedding and take the place of my parents. 90 00:04:19.360 --> 00:04:22.560 Uncle Kevin never really got along with his family, including 91 00:04:22.560 --> 00:04:25.000 my mother, as a child or even as an adult, 92 00:04:25.040 --> 00:04:27.040 so my parents were never able to find out where 93 00:04:27.079 --> 00:04:29.600 I spent those years and who covered my tuition for me. 94 00:04:30.720 --> 00:04:33.279 Or maybe they'd found out, but they just didn't bother 95 00:04:33.399 --> 00:04:36.959 to contact me. Either way, I never heard from my 96 00:04:37.040 --> 00:04:39.439 parents even once after I left their house until a 97 00:04:39.439 --> 00:04:42.600 few weeks ago. They told me that they'd found me 98 00:04:42.680 --> 00:04:45.160 on social media through a cousin who's helped them trace 99 00:04:45.240 --> 00:04:47.279 me down, since they'd heard from people that I was 100 00:04:47.360 --> 00:04:49.399 now married and even had a three year old son 101 00:04:49.399 --> 00:04:52.800 of my own. They apologized in their message for all 102 00:04:52.800 --> 00:04:54.920 that they'd done all those years ago and told me 103 00:04:55.000 --> 00:04:57.160 that now they'd love to come to see me and 104 00:04:57.240 --> 00:04:59.759 make things right with me, mostly because they wanted to 105 00:04:59.759 --> 00:05:02.920 meet my wife and son. I thought it was really 106 00:05:02.959 --> 00:05:05.360 half hearted and almost didn't reply to them, but they 107 00:05:05.399 --> 00:05:08.040 sent another one within a day of that message, saying 108 00:05:08.040 --> 00:05:10.240 that they really wanted to meet their grandson while they 109 00:05:10.240 --> 00:05:12.240 were still around, and it was evident that they were 110 00:05:12.240 --> 00:05:16.839 trying to emotionally manipulate me. Nevertheless, I agreed and told 111 00:05:16.839 --> 00:05:19.120 them to come over on the day of my son's birthday. 112 00:05:19.360 --> 00:05:22.199 I didn't have anything in mind particularly, but after talking 113 00:05:22.240 --> 00:05:24.720 to my wife and discussing the messages with her, she 114 00:05:24.839 --> 00:05:26.879 told me she didn't mind having them over as long 115 00:05:26.920 --> 00:05:29.720 as I was okay with it. She knows all the 116 00:05:29.800 --> 00:05:32.399 history with them, and we've been married for five years now. 117 00:05:32.720 --> 00:05:35.040 It's been ten years since my parents kicked me out. 118 00:05:35.079 --> 00:05:36.759 So she told me that if I believed it was 119 00:05:36.800 --> 00:05:39.879 water under the bridge, then I could invite them. Her 120 00:05:39.920 --> 00:05:42.439 own parents had passed away when she was really little, 121 00:05:42.439 --> 00:05:45.079 and she'd been raised by her grandparents, both of whom 122 00:05:45.079 --> 00:05:47.399 had passed away in the last couple of years, so 123 00:05:47.480 --> 00:05:49.639 I could tell that she really wanted some family to 124 00:05:49.680 --> 00:05:53.439 be present at the party. I didn't care about reconciliation, 125 00:05:53.600 --> 00:05:55.839 but I felt like my wife actually did want them 126 00:05:55.839 --> 00:05:58.040 and wasn't saying it because she didn't want a strong 127 00:05:58.160 --> 00:06:01.959 army into anything. So I did invite my parents for 128 00:06:02.000 --> 00:06:04.319 my wife's sake. And on the day of the party, 129 00:06:04.560 --> 00:06:07.199 they arrived an hour early before all the other guests 130 00:06:07.240 --> 00:06:09.000 so we could get some one on one time with 131 00:06:09.040 --> 00:06:12.720 each other. It was all very awkward and uncomfortable, but 132 00:06:12.759 --> 00:06:15.240 we tried to make small talk after I'd introduced them 133 00:06:15.240 --> 00:06:18.639 to my wife and son. They were polite and respectful 134 00:06:18.639 --> 00:06:20.959 for the most part, but then at one point, my 135 00:06:21.040 --> 00:06:23.480 wife went into the kitchen to make my dad some tea, 136 00:06:23.519 --> 00:06:25.319 and that's when my mother told me that she was 137 00:06:25.360 --> 00:06:27.600 here to discuss something else as well, and she didn't 138 00:06:27.600 --> 00:06:29.160 want to say it in front of my wife, so 139 00:06:29.199 --> 00:06:32.199 they'd asked her for tea. Now that it was just 140 00:06:32.279 --> 00:06:35.120 the three of us, my parents apologized to me again 141 00:06:35.160 --> 00:06:37.199 and said that they'd come to their senses now that 142 00:06:37.199 --> 00:06:39.319 they'd done whatever they'd wanted to and felt like they 143 00:06:39.319 --> 00:06:43.079 had really treated me badly during my childhood. I thought 144 00:06:43.079 --> 00:06:45.240 that it was pretty nice of them to apologize and 145 00:06:45.279 --> 00:06:47.879 that they'd finally started acting like human beings to me, 146 00:06:48.040 --> 00:06:50.720 But before I could accept their apology in person, they 147 00:06:50.720 --> 00:06:52.800 went on to tell me that they now needed money 148 00:06:52.839 --> 00:06:54.639 and that was a major reason that they were here 149 00:06:54.720 --> 00:06:57.600 right now. Apparently they'd blown through a lot of their 150 00:06:57.639 --> 00:07:00.240 savings while traveling, and now they were falling shit short 151 00:07:00.279 --> 00:07:02.439 while trying to pay for all their bills on time, 152 00:07:02.480 --> 00:07:05.399 and wanted my help to live. They knew that my 153 00:07:05.519 --> 00:07:08.079 wife and I were relatively well off. She was a 154 00:07:08.120 --> 00:07:10.199 real estate agent and I worked in a bank, so 155 00:07:10.240 --> 00:07:13.319 we were comfortable and could afford to help them. I 156 00:07:13.399 --> 00:07:16.319 was very irritated by that because it just cheapened everything 157 00:07:16.360 --> 00:07:18.319 that they'd said to me, because now I felt like 158 00:07:18.360 --> 00:07:19.920 it was all just a ploy to get me to 159 00:07:19.920 --> 00:07:23.720 help them out financially. They'd even used their grandson and 160 00:07:23.720 --> 00:07:26.439 their tactics to try and make me soften up towards them, 161 00:07:26.439 --> 00:07:28.879 and while it hadn't been very effective on me, my 162 00:07:28.959 --> 00:07:32.279 wife had fallen for it. I didn't blame her because 163 00:07:32.319 --> 00:07:34.519 she didn't know just how awful my parents were and 164 00:07:34.600 --> 00:07:36.680 really missed her family, which is why she was so 165 00:07:36.839 --> 00:07:39.399 keen for us to fix our relationship, but I regretted 166 00:07:39.399 --> 00:07:42.959 ever having them over. I didn't say anything to them then, 167 00:07:43.040 --> 00:07:45.800 because just afterward, my wife walked in with the tea 168 00:07:45.839 --> 00:07:47.800 for my dad and coffee for the rest of us, 169 00:07:47.839 --> 00:07:51.439 and she seemed very happy. So I just stayed quiet, 170 00:07:51.439 --> 00:07:54.199 and my mother told me to think about it. My 171 00:07:54.319 --> 00:07:56.519 wife did ask me what we'd been talking about, but 172 00:07:56.560 --> 00:07:58.600 I told her that we'd talk about it later because 173 00:07:58.639 --> 00:08:00.759 I didn't want to get into an argument with my parents. 174 00:08:00.800 --> 00:08:03.079 Around the same time as when the guests were supposed 175 00:08:03.120 --> 00:08:06.399 to start arriving, my wife talked to my parents some 176 00:08:06.519 --> 00:08:08.279 more for the next couple of minutes, and it was 177 00:08:08.319 --> 00:08:10.920 an easy flowing conversation for her since she seemed to 178 00:08:11.000 --> 00:08:13.079 like them. But I sat there quietly because I just 179 00:08:13.120 --> 00:08:16.480 wanted them to leave before I lost it at them. Luckily, 180 00:08:16.560 --> 00:08:18.920 the first guests arrived just in the nick of time, 181 00:08:18.959 --> 00:08:21.759 and I jumped at the opportunity to distract myself from this. 182 00:08:23.000 --> 00:08:25.720 Once the guests were there, I busied myself with my 183 00:08:25.839 --> 00:08:29.279 son and the party arrangements, and then it was time 184 00:08:29.319 --> 00:08:31.439 for my son to cut the cake, which went well. 185 00:08:31.600 --> 00:08:34.480 Everyone had fun. Right after that, I was about to 186 00:08:34.519 --> 00:08:36.720 go into the kitchen with my wife, but my parents 187 00:08:36.720 --> 00:08:38.720 stopped me and asked me once more if i'd come 188 00:08:38.759 --> 00:08:41.960 to a decision yet. So I snapped and I told 189 00:08:41.960 --> 00:08:43.679 them that they could wait in the living room with 190 00:08:43.759 --> 00:08:46.039 all the other guests and i'd let them know Shortly 191 00:08:47.039 --> 00:08:50.080 after everyone had received their slice, I took my spot 192 00:08:50.120 --> 00:08:52.080 in the middle of the living room and started off 193 00:08:52.080 --> 00:08:54.080 with a speech that I'd been preparing in my head 194 00:08:54.120 --> 00:08:57.960 after my parents stopped me outside the kitchen. I introduced 195 00:08:57.960 --> 00:09:00.159 my parents to all the other guests, since no but 196 00:09:00.159 --> 00:09:02.120 he had met them before, and they looked pleased that 197 00:09:02.159 --> 00:09:04.440 I was treating them well, but the smiles dropped from 198 00:09:04.440 --> 00:09:06.159 their faces as soon as I went on to the 199 00:09:06.200 --> 00:09:08.720 next part of my speech, where I started narrating the 200 00:09:08.759 --> 00:09:11.200 story about my childhood and how they'd kicked me out, 201 00:09:11.240 --> 00:09:13.440 after which I had to be taken in by my uncle. 202 00:09:14.440 --> 00:09:16.559 I wrapped it all up in light hearted jokes and 203 00:09:16.639 --> 00:09:19.559 everyone was laughing a little, but my parents looked humiliated, 204 00:09:19.600 --> 00:09:23.080 and my wife had a poker face. Throughout. I mentioned 205 00:09:23.080 --> 00:09:25.440 how my parents and I hadn't spoken for ten years 206 00:09:25.480 --> 00:09:29.039 after they'd kicked me out, and finally recently they'd contacted 207 00:09:29.080 --> 00:09:31.279 me to meet their grandson, and I'd almost ignore it 208 00:09:31.320 --> 00:09:34.759 and blocked them, but then I'd changed my mind because 209 00:09:34.799 --> 00:09:38.200 I was just grateful that, unlike other nightmarish parents, at 210 00:09:38.240 --> 00:09:41.440 least mine wasn't after my money. I was able to 211 00:09:41.480 --> 00:09:43.399 pass it off as a joke, and then I sat 212 00:09:43.480 --> 00:09:46.840 back down with the guests while my parents chuckled along uncomfortably, 213 00:09:46.919 --> 00:09:49.120 since I'd managed to make the whole speech sound like 214 00:09:49.120 --> 00:09:51.679 a stand up bit, so it didn't ruin the birthday vibes. 215 00:09:52.679 --> 00:09:55.799 After some time, the guests started leaving, and my parents 216 00:09:55.799 --> 00:09:58.919 were the first ones to go. They left in a rush, 217 00:09:59.000 --> 00:10:01.080 and when I saw them to the do they shot 218 00:10:01.120 --> 00:10:03.600 me the nastiest looks they could, but didn't say anything, 219 00:10:03.639 --> 00:10:05.759 which I was thankful for because the last thing I 220 00:10:05.799 --> 00:10:08.240 wanted was to argue with them right outside the house. 221 00:10:09.320 --> 00:10:11.399 Once all the guests were gone and we put our 222 00:10:11.440 --> 00:10:13.960 son to bed, I finally had the chance to talk 223 00:10:14.000 --> 00:10:16.639 to my wife and explain everything to her. But before 224 00:10:16.639 --> 00:10:19.080 I could say anything, she lashed out at me and 225 00:10:19.159 --> 00:10:22.960 told me that my speech was unnecessary and stupid. I 226 00:10:23.039 --> 00:10:25.639 needed to apologize to all the guests and make sure 227 00:10:25.679 --> 00:10:28.759 they weren't uncomfortable, and also to my parents were humiliating 228 00:10:28.799 --> 00:10:31.919 them for no reason. I stopped her there and told 229 00:10:31.960 --> 00:10:33.840 her what my parents had been here for, but she 230 00:10:33.960 --> 00:10:36.200 said that she didn't care and said that I'd apparently 231 00:10:36.279 --> 00:10:38.559 ruined our son's birthday and made it all about me 232 00:10:38.679 --> 00:10:42.200 with that speech. I thought that was unfair because our 233 00:10:42.279 --> 00:10:44.360 son was just three years old and it wasn't like 234 00:10:44.440 --> 00:10:46.200 he was even going to remember any of this in 235 00:10:46.240 --> 00:10:49.399 a few years or even in a few weeks. As 236 00:10:49.440 --> 00:10:51.879 for the guests, they just found it funny because of 237 00:10:51.919 --> 00:10:55.080 the way I'd told the story, keeping in mind that 238 00:10:55.159 --> 00:10:58.000 this was my son's birthday and not the appropriate occasion 239 00:10:58.080 --> 00:10:59.759 for any of what I'd done. But I just had 240 00:10:59.799 --> 00:11:03.360 to my parents know how disappointing they were as human beings. 241 00:11:03.919 --> 00:11:05.919 My wife wasn't on board with any of it, and 242 00:11:06.000 --> 00:11:08.679 told me that I needed to apologize to everyone present 243 00:11:08.720 --> 00:11:12.440 for my bad behavior. I was already very stressed out 244 00:11:12.440 --> 00:11:14.480 that day because of my parents and the way my 245 00:11:14.559 --> 00:11:17.200 wife was freaking out over something that hadn't even bothered 246 00:11:17.240 --> 00:11:20.279 anyone else, But it didn't sit right with me. I 247 00:11:20.360 --> 00:11:23.759 felt like she was totally invalidating my feelings about this situation, 248 00:11:23.879 --> 00:11:26.120 even after she'd heard what my parents had come here for. 249 00:11:26.240 --> 00:11:28.080 So I snapped at her too and told her that 250 00:11:28.120 --> 00:11:30.399 I'd invited my parents because she wanted me to sew 251 00:11:30.399 --> 00:11:33.279 if anything, she should be the one who should be 252 00:11:33.279 --> 00:11:35.879 a little understanding right now, but she was just thinking 253 00:11:35.879 --> 00:11:39.279 about how she felt, and I called herself involved. She 254 00:11:39.440 --> 00:11:42.200 started crying after I snapped, and I felt really bad 255 00:11:42.240 --> 00:11:45.600 about it. And I still do. I tried to comfort 256 00:11:45.600 --> 00:11:47.879 her immediately, but she shook me off and told me 257 00:11:47.960 --> 00:11:50.519 that I was the one being self involved and hypocritical, 258 00:11:50.559 --> 00:11:53.440 and until I apologized to everyone who had attended the party, 259 00:11:53.679 --> 00:11:56.840 she wouldn't speak to me. She even moved all her 260 00:11:56.879 --> 00:11:59.600 bedtime stuff to the guest bedroom and has been sleeping 261 00:11:59.600 --> 00:12:02.720 there ever since. We haven't spoken since that night because 262 00:12:02.759 --> 00:12:06.000 I haven't apologized to any of the guests yet. I 263 00:12:06.039 --> 00:12:08.399 don't think what I did was out of line or anything, 264 00:12:08.440 --> 00:12:10.919 and I feel like my wife's overreacting to what happened 265 00:12:10.919 --> 00:12:14.159 at the party. Haven't heard back from my parents yet, 266 00:12:14.200 --> 00:12:16.440 and nobody from the party has said anything about my 267 00:12:16.480 --> 00:12:19.639 speech either. I feel like she's built it up all 268 00:12:19.679 --> 00:12:21.360 in her head and thinks that people are going to 269 00:12:21.440 --> 00:12:23.799 judge us for that, but that's really not the case here, 270 00:12:23.799 --> 00:12:26.039 and I can't even communicate that to her because she 271 00:12:26.200 --> 00:12:29.639 just refuses to even speak to me. I also feel 272 00:12:29.639 --> 00:12:31.919 like she's not trying to understand where I'm coming from 273 00:12:31.919 --> 00:12:34.360 because I ignored my parents for the sake of my wife 274 00:12:34.360 --> 00:12:36.919 and to maintain the peace before the party once already, 275 00:12:36.919 --> 00:12:38.960 but I just couldn't take it a second time because 276 00:12:38.960 --> 00:12:41.879 they were putting too much pressure on me, and the 277 00:12:41.919 --> 00:12:44.279 thing that I'd said about my wife wanting my parents 278 00:12:44.279 --> 00:12:46.519 at the party more than I did was probably true. 279 00:12:46.799 --> 00:12:48.639 She didn't deny it when I brought it up during 280 00:12:48.639 --> 00:12:51.720 our argument on the night of the party. My wife's 281 00:12:51.759 --> 00:12:54.440 been acting like I totally ruin the party, but nobody 282 00:12:54.480 --> 00:12:57.440 cares as much as she does. I don't want to 283 00:12:57.480 --> 00:13:00.519 apologize to anyone because I don't think I did anything wrong. 284 00:13:01.519 --> 00:13:03.840 I tried to do everything the right way, but even 285 00:13:03.840 --> 00:13:07.399 that didn't end well for me. Somehow. My parents kicked 286 00:13:07.399 --> 00:13:09.799 me out at eighteen and abandoned me for ten years, 287 00:13:09.840 --> 00:13:11.720 so I think it was completely fair for me to 288 00:13:11.840 --> 00:13:14.080 humiliate them at a party after they tried to screw 289 00:13:14.120 --> 00:13:16.639 me over once more by asking me for financial help 290 00:13:16.679 --> 00:13:19.960 over and over again. I tried to deal with things 291 00:13:19.960 --> 00:13:23.159 calmly and only acted emotionally after my parents took things 292 00:13:23.159 --> 00:13:25.360 too far, and I really think my wife needs to 293 00:13:25.440 --> 00:13:28.879 understand that. I guess I can apologize to her for 294 00:13:28.960 --> 00:13:32.120 calling herself involved. That was not cool, but that's really 295 00:13:32.159 --> 00:13:35.320 the most I feel like I should do. Apart from that, 296 00:13:35.679 --> 00:13:38.559 I absolutely don't think I have anything to apologize for. 297 00:13:39.759 --> 00:13:42.919 I can even consider apologizing to the guests, but certainly 298 00:13:42.960 --> 00:13:45.399 not to my parents, so that I'd offer making a 299 00:13:45.440 --> 00:13:48.240 speech at my son's birthday party to humiliate my parents, 300 00:13:48.279 --> 00:13:50.240 who would ask me for money to help them after 301 00:13:50.240 --> 00:13:53.000 they kicked me out and cut me off for ten years. 302 00:13:53.519 --> 00:13:56.600 Update one, So I talked to my wife about this today. 303 00:13:57.559 --> 00:14:00.440 The comment section on my original post was pretty divided 304 00:14:00.480 --> 00:14:02.240 on what I should have done, so I decided to 305 00:14:02.360 --> 00:14:04.440 just say screw it and talk to my wife because 306 00:14:04.480 --> 00:14:07.840 that's how the marriage will work anyway. It's been six 307 00:14:07.919 --> 00:14:10.559 days since the party and six days of not talking 308 00:14:10.600 --> 00:14:14.080 to each other and sleeping in different rooms. We tried 309 00:14:14.080 --> 00:14:16.159 to keep it low key for the sake of our son, 310 00:14:16.279 --> 00:14:18.600 but he's not old enough to notice these things yet, 311 00:14:18.600 --> 00:14:20.480 so there was even less of an excuse for us 312 00:14:20.480 --> 00:14:23.960 to talk to each other. But today, before we left 313 00:14:23.960 --> 00:14:26.159 for work, I stopped her and told her that we 314 00:14:26.240 --> 00:14:30.639 absolutely needed to talk. She didn't ignore me, luckily, and 315 00:14:30.720 --> 00:14:32.960 our son was having breakfast in the other room so 316 00:14:33.039 --> 00:14:36.200 we could talk peacefully. I told her that I was 317 00:14:36.240 --> 00:14:39.240 sorry for calling herself involved, but apart from that, I 318 00:14:39.279 --> 00:14:42.399 didn't see any reason for me to be sorry. I 319 00:14:42.399 --> 00:14:44.840 didn't ruin the party for anyone like she believed, and 320 00:14:44.919 --> 00:14:47.759 nobody even cares about the speech because nobody's brought it 321 00:14:47.840 --> 00:14:51.279 up with me yet, not even my parents. I told 322 00:14:51.279 --> 00:14:53.919 her as gently and respectfully as I could that I 323 00:14:54.000 --> 00:14:56.600 believed she'd overreacted a bit, and then waited for her 324 00:14:56.639 --> 00:15:00.519 to respond. She agreed that she had indeed over reacted, 325 00:15:00.519 --> 00:15:02.879 and said that for the past few days, once her 326 00:15:02.919 --> 00:15:05.039 anger over what I'd done had cooled off a bit, 327 00:15:05.360 --> 00:15:08.399 she'd realized that she'd acted very selfishly and hadn't been 328 00:15:08.440 --> 00:15:12.159 thinking about my feelings at all. She also conceded that 329 00:15:12.240 --> 00:15:14.840 she'd sort of made me invite my parents to reconcile, 330 00:15:15.080 --> 00:15:18.279 even though she hadn't verbally said it. While we'd been 331 00:15:18.279 --> 00:15:21.960 discussing the idea, she'd been very nonverbally trying to influence 332 00:15:22.000 --> 00:15:24.039 me because she was the one who actually wanted a 333 00:15:24.080 --> 00:15:27.639 happy family for us. So I wasn't wrong about that 334 00:15:27.759 --> 00:15:30.440 after all, and she apologized to me for it as well. 335 00:15:30.639 --> 00:15:33.360 Her reasons were pretty valid if I think about it emotionally, 336 00:15:33.440 --> 00:15:35.480 because all she'd really wanted was for us to have 337 00:15:35.519 --> 00:15:38.159 a complete family that she'd never really had as a kid. 338 00:15:39.159 --> 00:15:41.600 She'd hoped that as a married woman, she'd get some 339 00:15:41.720 --> 00:15:44.559 part of it, but here too, her in laws were estranged, 340 00:15:44.559 --> 00:15:46.559 so there was no chance that her son could get 341 00:15:46.559 --> 00:15:49.159 the same love and affection from his grandparents that she'd 342 00:15:49.159 --> 00:15:52.240 been lucky to have. She didn't get the love from 343 00:15:52.240 --> 00:15:54.679 her parents that she deserved when she was young because 344 00:15:54.720 --> 00:15:57.559 they'd passed away so early, and now her son would 345 00:15:57.600 --> 00:15:59.679 be loved by his parents, but he'd never have any 346 00:15:59.679 --> 00:16:03.279 grand parents there for him. Of course, that meant a 347 00:16:03.320 --> 00:16:05.919 lot to her because she'd been raised by her grandparents 348 00:16:05.919 --> 00:16:08.120 after her parents passed away, so it was kind of 349 00:16:08.159 --> 00:16:11.240 a big deal for her. It was all these issues 350 00:16:11.240 --> 00:16:13.200 with her and her need to have a complete family 351 00:16:13.240 --> 00:16:15.200 that made her spas out the other day, and she 352 00:16:15.279 --> 00:16:19.639 acknowledged it. I also apologized for not discussing these things 353 00:16:19.639 --> 00:16:21.759 with her and for the lack of communication that had 354 00:16:21.799 --> 00:16:25.120 actually led to all of this. So to sum it up, 355 00:16:25.320 --> 00:16:28.000 we talked things through and afterwards we came to the 356 00:16:28.039 --> 00:16:29.919 conclusion that we were going to have to deal with 357 00:16:29.960 --> 00:16:33.919 this in therapy. We already go to individual therapy, but 358 00:16:34.000 --> 00:16:36.559 now we're going to consider couples counseling as well for 359 00:16:36.639 --> 00:16:40.279 a few other unrelated reasons as well. Thank you for 360 00:16:40.399 --> 00:16:44.799 all the comments. You guys. Update two. I posted an 361 00:16:44.840 --> 00:16:47.399 update here yesterday, and I really didn't expect to be 362 00:16:47.480 --> 00:16:50.639 back so soon, but I am thanks to my parents. 363 00:16:51.240 --> 00:16:53.879 They sent me a lawsuit claiming that i'd stolen fifty 364 00:16:53.879 --> 00:16:56.679 thousand dollars from them before it run away ten years ago, 365 00:16:56.759 --> 00:16:59.200 and now that they'd finally managed to track me down, 366 00:16:59.480 --> 00:17:03.639 they wanted money back. Obviously none of that is true, 367 00:17:03.639 --> 00:17:05.880 and I feel sorry for the idiot who's agreed to 368 00:17:05.880 --> 00:17:08.200 get involved in this as an attorney must be some 369 00:17:08.279 --> 00:17:11.160 guy who's really in need of money, because otherwise I 370 00:17:11.200 --> 00:17:15.799 can't imagine anyone agreeing to this anyway. I'm obviously not 371 00:17:15.880 --> 00:17:18.720 going to entertain any of this nonsense and have contacted 372 00:17:18.720 --> 00:17:21.599 my lawyer already. My wife took back everything that she 373 00:17:21.680 --> 00:17:24.359 said about me having to apologize to my parents because 374 00:17:24.440 --> 00:17:26.759 now she's seen what kind of people they really are. 375 00:17:27.799 --> 00:17:29.640 I'm sure they think they can get away with this 376 00:17:29.720 --> 00:17:32.160 even now, since I was relatively kind to them back 377 00:17:32.200 --> 00:17:34.160 when they first came by. But they'll know that I 378 00:17:34.279 --> 00:17:37.359 just behaved myself back then because it was my son's birthday. 379 00:17:38.400 --> 00:17:42.200 Right now, I have no reason to think about the consequences, 380 00:17:42.720 --> 00:17:45.279 so I'm posting all about this online, and I'm going 381 00:17:45.279 --> 00:17:47.440 to make sure that everyone knows about not just what 382 00:17:47.480 --> 00:17:49.720 they're trying right now, but also what they'd done to 383 00:17:49.759 --> 00:17:55.319 me back in the past. Update three, So I posted everything. 384 00:17:56.319 --> 00:17:58.920 Every single detail that I'd shared here is now up 385 00:17:58.960 --> 00:18:02.519 on my Facebook profile. It's been twenty minutes and I 386 00:18:02.559 --> 00:18:05.160 haven't received any texts or calls as such. But I'm 387 00:18:05.200 --> 00:18:07.240 waiting because I know people are going to be mad 388 00:18:07.279 --> 00:18:10.079 and pissed, especially since I mentioned how nobody in my 389 00:18:10.160 --> 00:18:12.079 family had taken me in. But now that I'm in 390 00:18:12.079 --> 00:18:16.240 a somewhat decent position, everyone acts friendly with me. I've 391 00:18:16.240 --> 00:18:19.240 never invited anyone to any events, just to be clear, 392 00:18:19.519 --> 00:18:21.799 but my relatives who'd shut me out back then have 393 00:18:21.880 --> 00:18:23.799 all turned over a new leaf in the last few 394 00:18:23.880 --> 00:18:25.720 years and try to be on good terms with me, 395 00:18:26.759 --> 00:18:30.720 which is all fake obviously. Just now they have their 396 00:18:30.759 --> 00:18:32.759 own kinds to think of, and it doesn't hurt to 397 00:18:32.799 --> 00:18:35.079 have a well connected relative who works in a bank 398 00:18:35.160 --> 00:18:38.039 and is in a position to get them jobs. So 399 00:18:38.200 --> 00:18:40.519 I know stuff is going to go down now. I'm 400 00:18:40.559 --> 00:18:46.599 just waiting for them. Update four, Hey all, I'm back 401 00:18:46.640 --> 00:18:51.000