Speaker 1: You know, there are these moments in parenting that absolutely
Speaker 1: nobody warns you about, not in the books, not in
Speaker 1: the mommy blogs, not even in the well meaning advice
Speaker 1: from people who have already been through it. They're not
Speaker 1: the big obvious milestones. They're not the ones that take
Speaker 1: one hundred photos of and put it in a scrap
Speaker 1: book with stickers and captions. They're the quiet ones, the
Speaker 1: sneaky ones, the ones that catch you completely off guard
Speaker 1: while you're standing in the middle of your kitchen trying
Speaker 1: to remember if you already added salt to the pasta.
Speaker 1: It's a Tuesday afternoon, or maybe it was a Thursday. Honestly,
Speaker 1: when you have as many kids as we do, the
Speaker 1: days of the week start plunding together somewhere around mid
Speaker 1: October and they don't really separate again tell Christmas. But
Speaker 1: there she was, Maddie, standing in the hallway, tucking her
Speaker 1: shirt in, fixing her hair in that mirror by the
Speaker 1: front door, the one that has a little crack in
Speaker 1: the corner that Jeremy has been meaning to replace for
Speaker 1: approximately a year. And she looks up at me and
Speaker 1: she says, Okay, Mom, I'm heading to work, and I
Speaker 1: just stood there for a second because in my head
Speaker 1: I still have that very vivid memory of a tiny
Speaker 1: little girl with pigtails who used to drag her stuffed
Speaker 1: animal absolutely everywhere she went, and I mean everywhere. That
Speaker 1: stuffed animal went to the grocery store, it went to
Speaker 1: birthday parties, it went to Sunday dinners at Grandma's house,
Speaker 1: it went places that stuffed animals really have no business going.
Speaker 1: And now the same little person is standing in front
Speaker 1: of me in a work uniform, telling me she's heading
Speaker 1: to her job per job at fourteen years old. I
Speaker 1: cannot fully explain what that feels like as a mom,
Speaker 1: but I'm going to try, because I think a lot
Speaker 1: of you out there know exactly what I'm talking about,
Speaker 1: and I think this episode is going to hit home
Speaker 1: for a lot of families. Welcome to We Are the Hansens. Hey, hey, hey,
Speaker 1: welcome back everybody you're listening to We Are the Hansens,
Speaker 1: the podcast where we pull back the curtain on what
Speaker 1: real family looks like. Not the highlight real version, not
Speaker 1: the perfectly created, everybody smiling and coordinating outfits version, the
Speaker 1: real version, the loud, messy, beautiful, chaotic. Can someone please
Speaker 1: find the remote version of family life. Hi, Maya, and
Speaker 1: if you're new here, let me just give you the
Speaker 1: quick version of who we are. We are a big family,
Speaker 1: like genuinely big. We have kids of various ages, grandkids
Speaker 1: coming up, cousins always around, and our house is basically
Speaker 1: a revolving door of people, food, noise, and love. It
Speaker 1: is never ever quiet, and on the rare occasions when
Speaker 1: it actually is quiet, my first instinct is to assume
Speaker 1: something is going very wrong somewhere. We started this podcast
Speaker 1: because we believe in the power of sharing real stories,
Speaker 1: real parenting wins, real parenting struggles, real conversations about the
Speaker 1: things that matter most. And today, the thing that is
Speaker 1: very much at the top of my mind, sitting at
Speaker 1: the very front of my heart is our girl, Mattie.
Speaker 1: Maddie just started her first job. She is fourteen years
Speaker 1: old and she is working at Callvers and y'all, she
Speaker 1: is absolutely crushing it. But this episode is bigger than
Speaker 1: just celebrating Mattie's new job, which for the record, we
Speaker 1: absolutely are doing because she has worked hard and she
Speaker 1: deserves all the celebrating. This episode is about something every
Speaker 1: parent of a teenager is eventually going to wrestle with.
Speaker 1: How do you teach your kids to work hard without
Speaker 1: accidentally robbing them of their childhood? Where is the line
Speaker 1: between responsibility and overscheduling? And why does watching your kids
Speaker 1: take on a real job feel like one of the
Speaker 1: most pride filled and heartbreaking things at the same time.
Speaker 1: Pour your coffee, settle in. Let's talk about all of it.
Speaker 1: So let me take you back a little bit, because
Speaker 1: context matters, and I think this story is better when
Speaker 1: you understand where it came from. Mattie has always been
Speaker 1: someone who notices things. I don't know exactly how else
Speaker 1: to describe it. Some kids are some kids are doers.
Speaker 1: Some kids are the ones who immediately take charge of
Speaker 1: every situation. Maddie is an observer. She watches how things work.
Speaker 1: She pays attention to details that most people walk right past,
Speaker 1: and for as long as I can remember, he has
Speaker 1: always wanted to understand the purpose behind it. When she
Speaker 1: was younger, she used to ask questions like, but why
Speaker 1: do we do it that way about everything? Why do
Speaker 1: we set the table like this? Why do we do
Speaker 1: all that? Why do we go to that grocery store
Speaker 1: and not the other one? Why does that sign say
Speaker 1: what it says. She wasn't being difficult. She was genuinely
Speaker 1: curious about how the world works. And I think that
Speaker 1: curiosity is exactly what led her to this moment, because
Speaker 1: at some point this past year, Mattie started noticing something.
Speaker 1: She started noticing that there are things she wants, things
Speaker 1: she'd like to have, experiences she'd like to be part of.
Speaker 1: And she made a very Maddy kind of observation, which
Speaker 1: is that those things require money, and money requires work,
Speaker 1: and therefore she needed to find a way to work.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to pretend that the conversation happened in
Speaker 1: one neat, tidy, sit down discussion at the kitchen table.
Speaker 1: That is not how anything works in our house. It
Speaker 1: happened in pieces, little bits here and there. A comment
Speaker 1: while we were driving somewhere, a question she asked Jeremy
Speaker 1: one evening when they were watching something on TV, A
Speaker 1: conversation she had with one of her older siblings that
Speaker 1: eventually made its way back to us. But the through
Speaker 1: line of it all was the same. Maddie wanted to work,
Speaker 1: She wanted her own money, and she wanted to learn
Speaker 1: what it felt like to earn something entirely on her own.
Speaker 1: When she told us she was thinking about applying at Callver's,
Speaker 1: Jeremy and I talked about it. Not a long, complicated conversation,
Speaker 1: but a real one, because fourteen is young. That is
Speaker 1: not something we take lightly, and there are real questions
Speaker 1: to answer when your teenager wants to start working. How
Speaker 1: many hours are we talking about, How does this fit
Speaker 1: around school, What happens when she has a test or
Speaker 1: a project or something that has to take priority. What
Speaker 1: happens on the days when work and family life conflict.
Speaker 1: We talk through all of it, and at the end
Speaker 1: of that conversation we decided to support her, not because
Speaker 1: we needed her to work, not because we were pushing
Speaker 1: her out of the nest the head of schedule, but
Speaker 1: because Maddie had made a genuine, thoughtful decision for herself,
Speaker 1: and our job as her parents is to support that.
Speaker 1: So she applied and she got the job. I want
Speaker 1: to talk about the first day because the first day
Speaker 1: was something. Maddie had her uniform ready the night before.
Speaker 1: She laid it all out on her chair the way
Speaker 1: she does when she's nervous about something. Her shirt, her pants,
Speaker 1: her non slip shoes, everything in order exactly where she
Speaker 1: needed it to be everything. Now. I have watched this
Speaker 1: kid take tests, perform in things at school, try out
Speaker 1: for things, show up to events where she didn't know anybody.
Speaker 1: I've seen her nervous before, but this kind of nervous
Speaker 1: was different. This wasn't the nervous you feel before something
Speaker 1: you've done a hundred times. This was the nervous you
Speaker 1: feel standing at the edge of something completely new, something
Speaker 1: that is entirely real, with real steaks and real people
Speaker 1: and real consequences if you mess up. She came into
Speaker 1: the kitchen now day and she had this look on
Speaker 1: her face that I can only describe as focused determination
Speaker 1: with a side of mild tear, which honestly is probably
Speaker 1: exactly the right way to feel on your first day
Speaker 1: at your first real job. She asked me about a
Speaker 1: dozen small questions, not big ones, just about the nature
Speaker 1: of work, Small practical, logistical questions. What if I don't
Speaker 1: remember something, what if I mess up in order? What
Speaker 1: if I forget where something is? What if I'm too slow?
Speaker 1: What what if? And I just kept telling her the
Speaker 1: same thing. You're going to be fine. You're going to
Speaker 1: make mistakes, and that is completely okay because it's your
Speaker 1: first day, and you're not supposed to be perfect. You
Speaker 1: are supposed to show up, try your best, pay attention,
Speaker 1: and learn. That's it. That is the whole job on
Speaker 1: day one. She nodded, she took a breath, she grabbed
Speaker 1: her bag, and she walked out that door. And I
Speaker 1: just stood there in the kitchen for a minute after
Speaker 1: the door closed. I wasn't sad, exactly, but I wasn't
Speaker 1: not sad either. It was one of those complicated parent
Speaker 1: emotions that doesn't have a clean, simple name. Cried and
Speaker 1: a little bit of grief all mixed together because you're
Speaker 1: so happy for them, You are so genuinely proud of
Speaker 1: who they are becoming. But somewhere underneath all of that
Speaker 1: happiness is this quiet, bittersweet awareness that they are becoming
Speaker 1: it without you. They are walking into a room you
Speaker 1: can't walk into for them, and that's exactly how it
Speaker 1: should be, but it still feels like something. I want
Speaker 1: to take a minute here to be honest about something,
Speaker 1: because I know not everybody is going to agree with
Speaker 1: me on this, and that is completely okay. In our family,
Speaker 1: we believe in kids working, not over working, not sacrificing
Speaker 1: childhood on the altar of responsibility, but working contributing, understanding
Speaker 1: what effort actually costs and what it actually built. I
Speaker 1: grew up in a family where work was just part
Speaker 1: of life. It wasn't optional, and it wasn't presented as
Speaker 1: a punishment either. It was just what you did. You
Speaker 1: worked because working meant something. You worked because there was
Speaker 1: always something that needed doing and you were capable of
Speaker 1: doing it, and so you did it. That was the equation.
Speaker 1: And I think somewhere along the way, in our culture's
Speaker 1: very well meaning effort to protect children from hardship, we
Speaker 1: started accidentally protecting them from the growth too. We started
Speaker 1: confusing struggle with suffering. We started assuming that if something
Speaker 1: is hard, it must be bad for kids. And I
Speaker 1: just don't believe that hard things teach hard things. Struggle
Speaker 1: builds character in ways that comfort simply cannot. When a
Speaker 1: teenager takes a real job and shows up for a
Speaker 1: real shift and works alongside real adults for depending on
Speaker 1: them to do their part, something happens inside of them.
Speaker 1: Something shifts. They start seeing themselves differently, not as kids
Speaker 1: waiting to become something, but as people who are already
Speaker 1: capable of contributing to the world around them, and that
Speaker 1: shift matters. That shift is worth something. Now, with that said,
Speaker 1: I also want to be very clear about something because
Speaker 1: I do not want to be misunderstood. Kids need to
Speaker 1: be kids, full stop. There is no amount of work ethic,
Speaker 1: no paycheck, no lesson about the value of money. That is,
Speaker 1: we're treading away a childhood. For Maddie is fourteen. She
Speaker 1: needs time for school, she needs time for friends. She
Speaker 1: needs lazy Saturday mornings and movie nights and the kind
Speaker 1: of long, wandering conversations with her siblings that don't have
Speaker 1: to be any particular destination. She needs room to be
Speaker 1: young and silly and irresponsible in the small, normal ways
Speaker 1: that teenagers are supposed to be. Balance is everything, and
Speaker 1: in our house we are very intentional about protecting that balance.
Speaker 1: Let me talk about Culver's for a minute, because I
Speaker 1: think it matters where she's working, not just that she's working.
Speaker 1: Culver's is the kind of place where the culture is
Speaker 1: right from the very beginning. It's clean, organized, people are
Speaker 1: trained to treat customers with genuine respect, not just a
Speaker 1: scripted pleasantness. It is a place that takes its food
Speaker 1: seriously and takes its staff seriously, and for a fourteen
Speaker 1: year old's first job experience, that environment makes a real difference.
Speaker 1: And what I've watched happen to Maddie over the last
Speaker 1: several weeks is that she is learning things that I
Speaker 1: genuinely could not have taught her at home, not because
Speaker 1: I don't know them, but because some lessons only land
Speaker 1: when they come from real world experience. They do not
Speaker 1: land the same way when Mom says them at the
Speaker 1: dinner table. She is learning to read a situation quickly.
Speaker 1: In a very busy restaurant, things move fast. You have
Speaker 1: to be able to assess what's happening around you, figure
Speaker 1: out where you're most needed, and move accordingly. That is
Speaker 1: a skill that is a real, usable, valuable skill that
Speaker 1: she is developing in real time. She is learning how
Speaker 1: to communicate with people who are older than her, adults
Speaker 1: who have expectations of her as a coworker, not as
Speaker 1: a kid. There is a specific kind of confidence that
Speaker 1: comes from being treated like a capable person by people
Speaker 1: who have no reason to be patient with you just
Speaker 1: because you're young. It forces you to rise to the
Speaker 1: level they're asking for. She is learning how to push
Speaker 1: through There are days when you are tired. There are
Speaker 1: days when your feet hurt and you've been on them
Speaker 1: for hours, and there are still customers to serve, and
Speaker 1: there is still work to be done, and you do
Speaker 1: it anyway because that is what you said you would do,
Speaker 1: that is what the job requires. That is what showing
Speaker 1: up actually means. And she is doing it. She is
Speaker 1: showing up, is putting in the work. She is earning
Speaker 1: the respect of the people around her. We get little
Speaker 1: updates here and there, little glimpses into how things are going,
Speaker 1: and every single one of them makes us proud. Our
Speaker 1: girl is doing great. One of my absolute favorite things
Speaker 1: about this whole season of life with Maddie is watching
Speaker 1: her come home after her shift. There is a specific
Speaker 1: kind of tired that comes from physical work. It is
Speaker 1: different from the tired that comes from sitting through a
Speaker 1: long school day, or the tired that comes from being
Speaker 1: overstimulated or stressed. It is a clean tire, a satisfied tired.
Speaker 1: Your body is genuinely worn out from having genuinely done something,
Speaker 1: and there is a certain quiet satisfaction that lives inside
Speaker 1: that feeling. Maddie walks in after her shift and she
Speaker 1: has that tired. She has something else too. She has
Speaker 1: this quiet pride that she carries with her that I
Speaker 1: don't think she even knows is visible, but it is
Speaker 1: absolutely She'll come in and sit down and she'll start
Speaker 1: talking about her day, not in a big dramatic way,
Speaker 1: just casually, the way you talk about something that is
Speaker 1: becoming a normal part of your life. She'll mention something
Speaker 1: that happened, something she figured out, a moment where she
Speaker 1: felt like she finally got the rhythm of something she'd
Speaker 1: been struggling with before. And every time I listen to
Speaker 1: one of those stories, I'm struck by something. My daughter
Speaker 1: is building herself right in front of my eyes. Not
Speaker 1: in the ways I can plan for, or orchestrate or guide.
Speaker 1: She is building herself through the ordinary, repetitive, unglamorous work
Speaker 1: of showing up and doing her job. And it is
Speaker 1: one of the most beautiful things I have ever had
Speaker 1: the privilege of watching. Okay, I want to talk about
Speaker 1: the first paycheck, because the first paycheck is a whole thing.
Speaker 1: It truly is. I remember my first paycheck. I remember
Speaker 1: looking at my name on that and feeling this very
Speaker 1: specific sensation that I can only describe as realness. This
Speaker 1: is real. This is actual money that exists in the
Speaker 1: actual world. Because I showed up and I did an
Speaker 1: actual job. Nobody gave this to me. Nobody felt sorry
Speaker 1: for me and handed it over. I worked for this.
Speaker 1: This is mine. That feeling is different from any other
Speaker 1: feeling in the world. It is not the feeling you
Speaker 1: get when someone gives you money as a gift, as
Speaker 1: wonderful as that is. It is not the feeling you
Speaker 1: give from an allowance. It is something entirely in its own.
Speaker 1: It is the feeling of having exchanged your time, your effort,
Speaker 1: your energy for something tangible and understanding, maybe for the
Speaker 1: first time, what that trade really means. When Maddie gets
Speaker 1: that first paycheck in her hands and looks at that number,
Speaker 1: she is going to understand something she couldn't have understood before.
Speaker 1: Every dollar on that check represents a real chunk of
Speaker 1: her time, her life, her energy. She will be able
Speaker 1: to look at something in a store and think, that
Speaker 1: costs me three hours of work? Is it worth three hours,
Speaker 1: is it worth six? Is it worth the whole check?
Speaker 1: That is not a thought most kids have, but it
Speaker 1: is a thought that changes everything once you start having it.
Speaker 1: We talk about money in our house, openly, honestly, without
Speaker 1: the shame or secrecy that a lot of families attached
Speaker 1: financial conversations. We talk about what things cost, We talk
Speaker 1: about the difference between needs and once. We talk about
Speaker 1: saving and spending, and why the decisions you make with
Speaker 1: money when you're young create the patterns you live with
Speaker 1: when you're older. But there is a limit to how
Speaker 1: much those conversations can do when they're theatrical. They become
Speaker 1: real when there's actual money involved, when it's your money,
Speaker 1: when you are the one who worked for it, then
Speaker 1: the lesson has weight. I think it's worth stepping back
Speaker 1: and talking about the bigger picture here, the family culture
Speaker 1: that Maddie is growing up inside of, because I don't
Speaker 1: think you can understand why we parent the way we
Speaker 1: parent without understanding where we come from. Jeremy and I
Speaker 1: have been building things our whole lives, not just businesses,
Speaker 1: though there have been those two. We have been building
Speaker 1: a family culture, a set of values that we want
Speaker 1: our kids to carry with them when they leave this house,
Speaker 1: and work ethic is absolutely at the center of that culture.
Speaker 1: Jeremy has run a business he understands in a bone
Speaker 1: deep way what it means to build something from nothing
Speaker 1: what it costs in terms of time and energy and
Speaker 1: sacrifice and commitment. And he has never, not once tried
Speaker 1: to hide that reality from our kids. He has always
Speaker 1: been transparent about the fact that good things require effort,
Speaker 1: that nothing worthwhile arrives without some version of struggle, that
Speaker 1: the discomfort of hard work is not something to run from,
Speaker 1: but something to walk straight into with your head up.
Speaker 1: And I grew up in a family where you worked,
Speaker 1: where you contributed, where contribution was expected, where nobody sat
Speaker 1: out because they didn't feel like participating. You showed up,
Speaker 1: You did your part, and you understood that the family
Speaker 1: functioned because everybody carried their share. Our kids have grown
Speaker 1: up watching us work. They've watched us build things, and
Speaker 1: fail at things and rebuild things. They've watched us disagree
Speaker 1: and figure it out. They've watched us exhausted and keep
Speaker 1: going anyway. And I believe in my heart that all
Speaker 1: of that watching has taught them more than any conversation
Speaker 1: we could have deliberately designed to teach them something. Maddie
Speaker 1: is not starting her first job in a vacuum. She
Speaker 1: is starting it inside of a family story that has
Speaker 1: always had work as one of its central chapters, and
Speaker 1: she knows that she feels that, and I think it
Speaker 1: makes her proud. I want to get real for a second,
Speaker 1: because I think it would be dishonest to talk about
Speaker 1: this topic without addressing something. There is guilt. Every parent
Speaker 1: who has ever encouraged their child toward responsibility or independence,
Speaker 1: or growing up in any way has felt this guilt,
Speaker 1: something like am I pushing her too fast? Is she
Speaker 1: missing out on something she can never get back? Is
Speaker 1: fourteen too young? Should I have let her just be
Speaker 1: a kid for a few more years? I feel that
Speaker 1: I genuinely do, and I don't have a perfect answer.
Speaker 1: I don't think any parent does. I think we all
Speaker 1: just do our best to navigate the incredibly complicated task
Speaker 1: of preparing our kids for a world we cannot fully predict,
Speaker 1: while also protecting the parts of their childhood that are irreplaceable.
Speaker 1: What I keep coming back to is this, Mattie chose.
Speaker 1: This was not something we pushed her into. She came
Speaker 1: to us with the idea, she did the research, she
Speaker 1: submitted the application. She wanted this, and our job in
Speaker 1: that moment was not to talk her out of something
Speaker 1: she decided She wanted, but to support her doing it
Speaker 1: fully and safely. There is a difference between a parent
Speaker 1: who pushes their kid into early responsibility because it's convenient
Speaker 1: for the parent, and a parent who supports their kid
Speaker 1: in taking a step they've asked to take. The first
Speaker 1: one is something I'm always vigilant about avoiding. The second
Speaker 1: one is what I hope I'm doing and for what
Speaker 1: it's worth. Watching Maddie in these past few weeks, I
Speaker 1: haven't seen a kid who seems like she's missing out
Speaker 1: on her childhood. I have seen a kid who is
Speaker 1: standing a little taller than she has before, who looks
Speaker 1: at herself a little differently than she did before, who
Speaker 1: has something to talk about at dinner that is entirely
Speaker 1: hers that nobody else in the family can claim that
Speaker 1: belongs completely to her. That looks like growth to me,
Speaker 1: and I'm choosing to trust it. Can we talk about
Speaker 1: the rest of the family for minute? Because I loved
Speaker 1: this part of the story. When Mattie told her siblings
Speaker 1: she got the job, the reaction was everything you would
Speaker 1: expect from a house full of people who love each
Speaker 1: other loudly and enthusiastically. There was cheering, There were questions.
Speaker 1: There were at least three different people asking immediately whether
Speaker 1: this meant we were going to Cllvers to visit her.
Speaker 1: The answer for the record is yes, obviously, yes, we
Speaker 1: have already been and we will absolutely be going again
Speaker 1: multiple times, because one, we love Culvers. Their butterburgers are
Speaker 1: genuinely in a category of their own, and they're frozen custard.
Speaker 1: Come on, there is no universe in which we are
Speaker 1: going to pass up an opportunity to support Mattie on
Speaker 1: her home turf and also enjoy some excellent frozen custom.
Speaker 1: But beyond the food, something really sweet has happened in
Speaker 1: our family around this. Her siblings have become her unofficial
Speaker 1: cheering section. They ask her how her shift went. They
Speaker 1: want to hear the stories. When she came home tired
Speaker 1: after a particularly busy shift, a couple of the younger
Speaker 1: kids had already made her a snack and left it
Speaker 1: on the counter without being asked. That's just who we
Speaker 1: are as a family. You show up for each other
Speaker 1: every time, and the conversations it sparked among the kids
Speaker 1: have been really wonderful. The older ones who have already
Speaker 1: had jobs and have been sharing their own first day stories,
Speaker 1: their own nervous moments, their own memories of that first paycheck,
Speaker 1: and the younger ones who haven't gotten there yet are
Speaker 1: watching all of it with eyes wide open, starting to
Speaker 1: form their own ideas about what it's going to feel
Speaker 1: like when they have their turn. This is how family
Speaker 1: culture gets passed down, not through lectures, through living, through
Speaker 1: watching the people you love navigate real things and learning
Speaker 1: from what you see. I want to spend a few
Speaker 1: minutes on something I think gets lost in conversation about
Speaker 1: kids and work and responsibility, and that is a question
Speaker 1: of what childhood is actually for. I think we sometimes
Speaker 1: talk about childhood as if it's just a waiting room,
Speaker 1: as if the whole point of being young is to
Speaker 1: get to the part where you're old enough to handle
Speaker 1: real things. And I think that framing does a real
Speaker 1: disservice to what childhood actually is. Childhood is not a
Speaker 1: waiting room. It is a whole season of life that
Speaker 1: has its own value, its own purpose, its own irreplaceable gifts.
Speaker 1: The friendships formed in childhood are different from any friendship
Speaker 1: you'll ever form after the way you experience wonder and
Speaker 1: curiosity and pure, uncomplicated joy when you're young is something
Speaker 1: that softens and quiets as you get older, and not
Speaker 1: all of it comes back. So when I say I
Speaker 1: believe in kids working, I do not mean I believe
Speaker 1: in kids trading their childhood for a paycheck. I mean
Speaker 1: I believe in kids adding work to the full life
Speaker 1: they are already living, not replacing anything adding to it.
Speaker 1: Maddie still has all the rest. She still has her
Speaker 1: friends and her family, and her lazy days and her
Speaker 1: inside jokes and her late night watching things she shouldn't
Speaker 1: probably be staying up that late to watch. None of
Speaker 1: that has gone anywhere. She has added one more thing
Speaker 1: to who she is. She is now also someone who works,
Speaker 1: someone who earns, someone who knows what it feels like
Speaker 1: to walk into a room of adults and hold her own.
Speaker 1: That addition makes her fuller, not smaller. I want to
Speaker 1: close the main body of this episode by talking about
Speaker 1: what I hope Maddie takes with her from this season,
Speaker 1: not just from the job itself, but from all of it,
Speaker 1: from the decisions she made, the courage it took her
Speaker 1: to walk in on that first day, the work she
Speaker 1: put in. Since I hope she carries the knowledge that
Speaker 1: she is capable that she can show up somewhere new,
Speaker 1: somewhere unfamiliar, where nobody is obligated to be easy on her,
Speaker 1: just because she's young and she can handle it. That
Speaker 1: is not a small thing. There are adults who have
Speaker 1: not yet learned that about themselves. I hope she carries
Speaker 1: the respect for money that comes from earning it yourself,
Speaker 1: not fear, but respect, understanding that every dollar has a
Speaker 1: real cost attached to it, and making choices accordingly. I
Speaker 1: hope she carries that habit of showing up. This might
Speaker 1: be the most important one up even when you're tired,
Speaker 1: even when you'd rather be somewhere else, even when the
Speaker 1: day is hard. There is something built into a person
Speaker 1: who learns early that showing up is non negotiable, that
Speaker 1: responsibility is one of the most valuable things you can
Speaker 1: offer anyone in any relationship, professional or personal. And I
Speaker 1: hope she carries the memory of this time as something
Speaker 1: she chose, something she initiated, something she was entirely, completely,
Speaker 1: one hundred percent hers. Because when you are fourteen and
Speaker 1: you set a goal for yourself and you walk toward it,
Speaker 1: and you achieve it, and you do it well enough
Speaker 1: that people around. You notice you learn something about yourself
Speaker 1: that stays with you for decades. You learn that you
Speaker 1: are someone who can make things happen, and that, more
Speaker 1: than any paycheck, more than any skill she picks up
Speaker 1: behind the counter, is the thing I most want my
Speaker 1: daughter to carry forward from all of us. Okay, before
Speaker 1: we wrap up today's episode, you know we always love
Speaker 1: to share something from the Hands and Family Kitchen, and
Speaker 1: today's recipe is one of my personal favorites for exactly
Speaker 1: this kind of season, when you've got a teenager coming
Speaker 1: home from work, tired and hungry, when schedules are all
Speaker 1: over the place, when you want something warm and sweet
Speaker 1: without turning the whole kitchen upside down, this is the one.
Speaker 1: This is our Hands and Family quick chocolate mugcake. It
Speaker 1: takes about five minutes from start to finish, It requires
Speaker 1: almost nothing in the way of equipment, and it tastes
Speaker 1: like a warm little hug in a cup. Here's what
Speaker 1: you need, and I promise you have all of this
Speaker 1: in your pantry right now. Four tables spoons of flour,
Speaker 1: four tablespoons of sugar, two tablespoons of coco powder, one egg,
Speaker 1: three tablespoons of milk, three tablespoons of vegetable oil, a
Speaker 1: good splash of vanilla extract, and a handful of chocolate chips.
Speaker 1: Because life is too short to leave out the chocolate chips.
Speaker 1: Here's what you do. Take a microwave safe mug, a
Speaker 1: big one because this thing rises when it cooks and
Speaker 1: you don't want a chocolate explosion in your microwave. Ask
Speaker 1: me how I know. Mix your dry ingredients first, flour, sugar,
Speaker 1: cocoa powder. Stir them together right in the mug. Then
Speaker 1: crack your egg in there and stir it really well,
Speaker 1: getting all the way down to the bottom. Then pour
Speaker 1: in your milk, your oil, and your vanilla. Stir everything
Speaker 1: until it's smooth and combined. Then fold in those chocolate chips.
Speaker 1: Hop in the microwave for about a minute and thirty seconds. Now,
Speaker 1: every microwave is a little different, so start there and
Speaker 1: see where you're at. You want it to be set
Speaker 1: in the center but still slightly soft on top. If
Speaker 1: it needs another fifteen or twenty seconds, go for it,
Speaker 1: but don't overdo it or it gets a little rubbery.
Speaker 1: Let it cool for just a minute and then eat
Speaker 1: it right out of the mug with a spoon. At
Speaker 1: the kitchen counter if that's where you end up, which
Speaker 1: in our house is where half of us seem to
Speaker 1: end up most evenings. Anyway, It's warm, it's chocolatey, it's
Speaker 1: deeply satisfying, and it is absolutely perfect for the end
Speaker 1: of a long day, whether that day was spent in
Speaker 1: school or at work or running around doing all the
Speaker 1: things that big families spend their days doing. We love
Speaker 1: this one. I hope your family loves it too. I
Speaker 1: have been thinking in the day since I decided to
Speaker 1: record this episode about what I most want to say
Speaker 1: about all of this, about Maddie and her job, and
Speaker 1: childhood and work and the strange, tender grief and joy
Speaker 1: of watching your kids grow up. And what I keep
Speaker 1: coming back to is this, every milestone your child hits
Speaker 1: is really two things at once. It is a beginning
Speaker 1: and an ending. It is to start to something new
Speaker 1: and the quiet clothes of something that was. And the
Speaker 1: job of parenting is to hold both of those things
Speaker 1: at the same time without crushing either one in your grip.
Speaker 1: We cheered when Mattie got the job. We will cheer
Speaker 1: when she nails her first difficult shift. We will cheer
Speaker 1: at the first paycheck and the first proud story she
Speaker 1: brings home from behind that counter. And at the same time,
Speaker 1: there is a part of me that will always be
Speaker 1: a little bit tender about the fact that she doesn't
Speaker 1: need me to walk through those doors with her. She
Speaker 1: walks through them herself. She always has, she always will,
Speaker 1: and that is exactly as it should be. To every
Speaker 1: parent listening who has a teenager on the edge of
Speaker 1: some version of this moment, whether it's their first job
Speaker 1: or their first independent step of any kind, I want
Speaker 1: you to hear me on this. Your instinct to protect
Speaker 1: them is good. Your instinct to cheer for them is
Speaker 1: also good. You do not have to choose one or
Speaker 1: the other. You can hold both. You can be the
Speaker 1: soft place they land when it gets hard and the
Speaker 1: loudest voice in the room when they succeed. That is
Speaker 1: the whole job. To Maddie, if you ever listen to this,
Speaker 1: which I sincerely hope you do, because Mom put a
Speaker 1: lot of heart into this episode, we are so proud
Speaker 1: of you just for getting the job, not just for
Speaker 1: showing up and doing it well, but for being brave
Speaker 1: enough to want something and go after it, for knowing
Speaker 1: your own mind, for walking out that door in your
Speaker 1: work shirt, with your hair tied back and your chin
Speaker 1: up and your whole future ahead of it. You are
Speaker 1: going to do incredible things, baby girl, and we will
Speaker 1: be right here hearing every step of the way. Thanks
Speaker 1: so much for joining us today on We Are the Hands.
Speaker 1: And if this episode hit close to home for you,
Speaker 1: if you have a kid who just started their first job,
Speaker 1: or if you remember what your own first job felt like,
Speaker 1: we would absolutely love to hear about it. Find us
Speaker 1: on Facebook and reach out. Tell us your story, because
Speaker 1: the whole reason we do this is to remind each
Speaker 1: other that we are not doing any of this alone.
Speaker 1: If today's episode meant something to you, please share it.
Speaker 1: Share it with the mom in your life who is
Speaker 1: in the middle of watching her kid grow up. Share
Speaker 1: it with the dad who is trying to figure out
Speaker 1: how to balance responsibility and freedom. Share it with anybody
Speaker 1: who understands that parenting is one of the hardest and
Speaker 1: most beautiful jobs that exist, and that sometimes you just
Speaker 1: need to hear that somebody else gets Until next time,
Speaker 1: From all of us to all of you, thank you
Speaker 1: for being here. Thank you for letting our family into
Speaker 1: your ears and your hearts and your kitchen while you
Speaker 1: make dinner in your car, while you drive the kids
Speaker 1: to practice. We are the Hansens, and we are so
Speaker 1: glad you're here.