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<v Speaker 1>This sucks song and that's that technical Therefore, obviously.

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<v Speaker 2>Where did I hear that? What is that from? That's

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<v Speaker 2>from Twister? That's right, sucks Philip.

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<v Speaker 3>Seymour Hoffman, the star of the movie. No offense to

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<v Speaker 3>Bill Paxton. So the Suck Zone is a new segment

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<v Speaker 3>that's really just following up on some stories that we

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<v Speaker 3>might have done over the past week and you kind

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<v Speaker 3>of go an update's happened, but we haven't dedicated a

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<v Speaker 3>full segment to it.

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<v Speaker 2>So last week was the big week.

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<v Speaker 3>Of one hundred men versus a Gorilla, which spun off

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<v Speaker 3>into if you don't know what that was, it was

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<v Speaker 3>a thing that popped up on Twitter just to hypothetical,

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<v Speaker 3>and that's spun off to John Mulaney, the comedian who

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<v Speaker 3>hosted Netflix talk show for Wednesday Night. He said that

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<v Speaker 3>on a season finale on May twenty eighth, he is

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<v Speaker 3>going to fight three fourteen year old boys.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, so you.

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<v Speaker 3>Hear that and like, okay, that's funny. Well, last night,

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<v Speaker 3>this this is what he revealed.

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<v Speaker 2>All Right, the moment is nigh.

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<v Speaker 4>We're about to reveal my first challenger for a teenager

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<v Speaker 4>fight night. But I'd like to say first that a

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<v Speaker 4>lot of people have been contacting me. Some'm very concerned

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<v Speaker 4>about my promise on our final episode May twenty eighth

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<v Speaker 4>to fight three fourteen year olds. You've been asking me

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<v Speaker 4>questions like John, why would you do this? Why would

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<v Speaker 4>you fight boys? That's your first mistake right there. Fourteen

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<v Speaker 4>year olds are young men. Calling them boys or children

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<v Speaker 4>will only result in those little bastards becoming full psychos.

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<v Speaker 4>If there is truly a crisis of young men in

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<v Speaker 4>this country, as many say there is, I guarantee you

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<v Speaker 4>the solution is not podcasting at them. Perhaps the greatest

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<v Speaker 4>danger facing young people today is that most of the

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<v Speaker 4>life advice they get comes from misshapen men making video

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<v Speaker 4>essays in their basements.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, so good, pretty funny setup.

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<v Speaker 3>Right now, he's turned it back on everyone else too,

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<v Speaker 3>and almost taken up for the boys. So he's basically said,

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<v Speaker 3>you know what we're going to do. We're going to

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<v Speaker 3>reveal them one week at a time. Here's boy number

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<v Speaker 3>one or young man number one.

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<v Speaker 2>So here is.

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<v Speaker 5>The very someone.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, yeah, okay.

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<v Speaker 2>I should have shown you guys a picture of this.

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<v Speaker 4>Now, with all that said, I'm ready to learn the

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<v Speaker 4>identity of my first adolescent adversary, who again I have

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<v Speaker 4>not seen until this moment, Richard.

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<v Speaker 2>Take it away, ladies.

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<v Speaker 6>Her first fourteen year old challenger stands at a whopping

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<v Speaker 6>five eight inches tall and still growing, weighing in at

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<v Speaker 6>one hundred and forty two pounds. Give it up for Ben,

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<v Speaker 6>whose last name we cannot say.

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<v Speaker 2>I be I'm fourteen years old.

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<v Speaker 7>I am extremely confident that I'm going to beat up

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<v Speaker 7>John Mulaney. Beating up John Mulaney would help my self

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<v Speaker 7>esteem a lot and help me grow as a person.

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<v Speaker 2>Also, it would really help my popularity. Coming for you, John.

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<v Speaker 4>To all of the writers and people behind the scenes

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<v Speaker 4>who picked that first challenger, I'm thinking, thank you. I

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<v Speaker 4>don't know how popular is gonna make you. You have

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<v Speaker 4>a deep voice.

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<v Speaker 2>I'll give you that. Rich What do you think I

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<v Speaker 2>think you're fighting young men? I don't like that. You're

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<v Speaker 2>not alone. That's our show.

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<v Speaker 4>My thanks, Andy said, I cannot wait.

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<v Speaker 2>Till next Wednesday night to see the second young boy.

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<v Speaker 3>Wait, don't say that, but like, yeah, it's a it

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<v Speaker 3>was so fun.

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<v Speaker 2>So what did he look like?

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<v Speaker 1>Did it look like, uh, when you just looked at

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<v Speaker 1>that kid, did you think that would be anywhere close

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<v Speaker 1>to a fair fight.

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<v Speaker 2>I thought.

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<v Speaker 3>I didn't think he's not he's not skinny, pretty solid. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>he's pretty solid, and I was I kept thinking, like,

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<v Speaker 3>he's just a little shorter than me.

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<v Speaker 5>He's about like twenty pounds more than me, like my height,

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<v Speaker 5>my same height, and add twenty more pounds to me.

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<v Speaker 2>That that's it.

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<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't mind seeing Christina fight John mulana good.

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<v Speaker 2>Or Christina and KT. Oh, dude, y'all should fight. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't want to fight anyone. Okay, Christina and my three

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<v Speaker 2>kids against KT. I like that. That'd be great, because

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<v Speaker 2>a college man, I.

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<v Speaker 3>Just wouldn't have it in me. I don't think i'd

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<v Speaker 3>have it in me to physically hurt anyone.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, let's get three kids in a female and

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<v Speaker 1>have him fight a pacifist.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, okay, the.

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<v Speaker 3>Old Well okay, So my thought was that three of

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<v Speaker 3>these guys could probably take him, but one that he

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<v Speaker 3>would handle him.

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<v Speaker 2>But I mean, John m'laney's pretty slender too.

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<v Speaker 5>What he's gonna happen, I don't know. I don't know

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<v Speaker 5>where this is going. Go ahead, sorry, skin, what are

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<v Speaker 5>his stats? John mullaney?

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<v Speaker 1>Like his height, he's probably three and a half or

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<v Speaker 1>voice tall.

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<v Speaker 2>Right, let's kind of type it in and find out

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<v Speaker 2>because I truly don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>One of the problems with this he's he's just six

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<v Speaker 1>feet tall. Oh wow, I thought I swallowing it. One

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<v Speaker 1>of the problems with this scenario is, in order to

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<v Speaker 1>go hit somebody, you have to muster up the angst

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<v Speaker 1>or the energy or the fight or whatever. Like, how

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<v Speaker 1>are you gonna get interested in going and hitting teenage? No?

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<v Speaker 3>Right, that's then That's why I wonder, like he's promising

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<v Speaker 3>this thing in this long drawn up bit that has

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<v Speaker 3>bits of it weeks at a time, and I'm like, Okay,

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<v Speaker 3>he can't back out of this. But at first I

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<v Speaker 3>was like, man.

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<v Speaker 2>He's kind of skinny, and he's kind of uh, I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know.

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<v Speaker 3>There's something about him, the way he talks. He would

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<v Speaker 3>make you think this guy. But then I remember, this

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<v Speaker 3>guy has been doing hard drug since he was thirteen.

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<v Speaker 3>He grew up on the bad side of Chicago, Like

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<v Speaker 3>he does have a background.

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<v Speaker 2>This happen, this will never happen, which makes me wonder

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<v Speaker 2>where it's going. But I'm along for the ride.