Speaker 1: Guess what. Corey Haym and Corey Feldman are giving out
Speaker 1: their personal numbers. If you call one nine hundred nine
Speaker 1: oh nine thirty seven hundreds, you can listen to their
Speaker 1: private phone messages and get their personal number, where you
Speaker 1: can leave them a message of your own. Two dollars
Speaker 1: of first minute, forty five cents each additional minute. Ask
Speaker 1: your parents before you call one nine hundred nine oh
Speaker 1: nine thirty seven hundred.
Speaker 2: If you call me right now, I'll give you my
Speaker 2: private number.
Speaker 3: You call that number and you'll hear a recording, and
Speaker 3: I'll give you my personal number if you call that,
Speaker 3: and we'll wrap.
Speaker 4: Welcome back. I don't know if I can welcome you back.
Speaker 4: I mean, here we are again. I can say that.
Speaker 4: I guess midnight viewers, welcome to HP Hates Me. You
Speaker 4: know when I named the show then I thought, oh,
Speaker 4: that's funny. It rhymes, it's kind of clever, and it's
Speaker 4: a fun little thing to call the show. It's true,
Speaker 4: HP Hates Me. Proof is in the pudding HP the
Speaker 4: Man who Hates Me? How are you my friend? Question Mark?
Speaker 5: You know what I'd have to say the way I'm
Speaker 5: feeling nowadays would probably be intense, powerful.
Speaker 4: Have you got that new Jack swing?
Speaker 5: That's an exact quote from the entertainment We're about to
Speaker 5: die say.
Speaker 4: HP, I struggled. I really struggled with this one. This
Speaker 4: one almost broke me. So I'm I think the rest
Speaker 4: of this series is going to be smooth sailing.
Speaker 5: Would you could be any worse than this? Could you?
Speaker 4: Please tell our listeners what we watched? And first of all,
Speaker 4: as always, anything we discussed on any of the shows
Speaker 4: we except for Tales of the Dark Side, you gotta
Speaker 4: really search for that one. But any of the shows
Speaker 4: that we discussed here on this show, you can get
Speaker 4: on YouTube. So go seek this out immediately and fucking
Speaker 4: suffer through it because I did. Oh my god, No don't.
Speaker 4: Oh no, I want you to suffer with me. Misery
Speaker 4: Loves Company, Spend the night with Stephen King.
Speaker 5: It is. This is readily available on YouTube. This is
Speaker 5: called Corey Hame, Me, Myself and I. This is from
Speaker 5: nineteen eighty nine. Now it's no secret to or maybe
Speaker 5: younger people may not know Corey Hame or understand his story,
Speaker 5: but those of us who grew up with Corey Haym's
Speaker 5: movies and saw his downfall understand that he was. He
Speaker 5: had a really tough life. There's no getting around that
Speaker 5: he was abused as a child actor in ways that
Speaker 5: it's hard for anybody to fathom. Okay, this led to
Speaker 5: serious drug and alcohol problems, mainly drug He may not
Speaker 5: have even had an alcohol issue. I take that back.
Speaker 5: I think it was mainly drugs, but he was hooked
Speaker 5: on drugs for most of his life. In this case,
Speaker 5: fresh out of his first stint in rehab, he made
Speaker 5: this video called Me Myself and I. This was marketed
Speaker 5: as something to sell to teeny boppers who couldn't get
Speaker 5: enough of the teen idol Corey Haym. But people who
Speaker 5: watch this, adults, people who don't have his teen scene
Speaker 5: magazine pictures all over their wall, understand that this is
Speaker 5: actually not a piece of fluff. This was an attempt
Speaker 5: to show the world in Hollywood, in particular FA them alone,
Speaker 5: that Corey Ham was sober, in good shape, and ready
Speaker 5: to work. That was the really some total purpose of
Speaker 5: this was to prove to his peers in Hollywood that hey,
Speaker 5: I know, you guys heard that I was in rehab
Speaker 5: and I'm not. Maybe I wasn't doing so well, but hey,
Speaker 5: look at me. Now, I look great, don't I. I
Speaker 5: can do all these things. I can play sports, I
Speaker 5: can act, I can I can model. I am ready
Speaker 5: to go back to work, and in fact we'll talk
Speaker 5: about it. But he says those very words in the
Speaker 5: midst of this movie. So, but let's take the conceit
Speaker 5: that this is just a fluff piece, which it's really not.
Speaker 5: This was him just being filmed verite style, doing his things.
Speaker 4: Very generous.
Speaker 5: I am Verite's high falutin word to describe what's going
Speaker 5: on here. But it's a day in the life of
Speaker 5: Corey Haynes. He's playing tennis, he's playing hockey, he's going
Speaker 5: for a drive in his Alpha Romeo convertible he's modeled.
Speaker 4: This whole thing is completely insidious. The idea here is
Speaker 4: that they're selling stuff, basically to his fan club. This
Speaker 4: is a video of a day in the life of Corey.
Speaker 4: He's good again all as well, But really it is
Speaker 4: just an attempt to let the industry know I'm ready
Speaker 4: to work. It is so boneheaded. Please continue, we'll get
Speaker 4: into it.
Speaker 5: As I said, this was from nineteen eighty nine, and
Speaker 5: the thing of it is ultimately aside from dream a
Speaker 5: Little Dream, which I think actually was filmed before this. Yes,
Speaker 5: it's worth noting that Corey Hame never really acted in
Speaker 5: a true big budget movie ever again after this, unless
Speaker 5: you count. He had a Don't Blink you Know miss
Speaker 5: a cameo in Dicky Roberts Former Child Star, and also
Speaker 5: a brief cameo in Crank High Voltage, that Jason Statham sequel.
Speaker 5: Do you remember that movie?
Speaker 4: I remember it, but I don't remember him in it.
Speaker 5: He's a mulleted boyfriend of Amy Smart who gets his
Speaker 5: ass kicked. It's literally a five minute scene. He's not
Speaker 5: in it very much. But my point is the gambit
Speaker 5: didn't work. In the least, people understood the problems that
Speaker 5: this guy had and they were manifold. He never really
Speaker 5: He did a lot of low budget direct to video movies.
Speaker 5: He famously tried. He think it's got so dire that
Speaker 5: he tried to sell a tooth and clumps of hair
Speaker 5: on eBay because he was for a while, he was homeless.
Speaker 5: He was in such dire straits. So it's a very
Speaker 5: sad tale. That much is not in dispute at all.
Speaker 5: But let's take the conceit of this movie. In quotes,
Speaker 5: in and of the time that it was presented, And
Speaker 5: we'll go with that because we all understand he had
Speaker 5: a fucked up life. But at the end of the day,
Speaker 5: you are responsible for your choices, and he made a
Speaker 5: fuckload of bad choices, starting with this movie.
Speaker 4: Making this movie, which was your Corey, my Corey.
Speaker 5: If we're talking Lost Boys, which auld e zenith.
Speaker 4: Of you, and I am talking overall overall for time
Speaker 4: at the time, let's say, well around so yeah, let's
Speaker 4: say let's say license to drive. At that point, who
Speaker 4: are you favor.
Speaker 5: Look, if I'm being perfectly honest, it was Corey Feldman,
Speaker 5: because look at he was in the Goonies.
Speaker 4: Mouth. He was Mouth, He's in Gremlins.
Speaker 3: He was in.
Speaker 5: Gremlins, he was in Stand by Me, and he, truth
Speaker 5: be told, he is great in all of these, Wasn't
Speaker 5: He was also in the Burbs, Wasn't he?
Speaker 4: He sure was. He's not as great in that. He
Speaker 4: is great in all of these though.
Speaker 5: So look, if I say that at the time I
Speaker 5: was would have been on the Feldin's side. That people
Speaker 5: don't remember that. They only see the nutcase that is
Speaker 5: playing these awful guitar solos with this terrible band, somebody
Speaker 5: who fancies himself a pop star for the new millennium,
Speaker 5: and he's awful. He's a whack job. He's got that
Speaker 5: group the was it like Feldman's Angels or Cory's Angels.
Speaker 5: This weird cult that he has of these beautiful women
Speaker 5: that he keeps in his house and he monitors what
Speaker 5: they eat and what they wear. He's not a good guy.
Speaker 5: I'm not saying that, but I'm saying, if you're telling
Speaker 5: me in the eighties who my favorite actor was, between
Speaker 5: Haim and Feldman, I'm going Feldman, how about you?
Speaker 4: I liked Feldman, but I as an actor, I think
Speaker 4: I appreciated Haym more because he was the star of
Speaker 4: Silver Bullet, which is a Stephen King adaptation of his
Speaker 4: novel or his novelette cycle of the were Wolf. I
Speaker 4: loved him in that. I loved Lucas, thought that was great.
Speaker 4: He was great in that. What's the thing he did
Speaker 4: right before Lost Boys? One other thing?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 5: Firstborn?
Speaker 4: Oh my god, he's the little brother in First Born too. Yeah.
Speaker 5: I have a great anecdote about Firstborn. I don't have
Speaker 5: ever heard this story about what happened that This will
Speaker 5: make you sympathize with him a little bit.
Speaker 4: So it was Peter Weller like just smacking him around
Speaker 4: all over the set.
Speaker 5: Yes, how did you know?
Speaker 3: I didn't.
Speaker 4: I just figured.
Speaker 5: The story goes that this was Hames's first feature. Firstborn
Speaker 5: nineteen eighty four, he was thirteen years old. After a
Speaker 5: good take, he went to congratulate. Peter Weller responded by
Speaker 5: throwing Hame against the wall and shouting at him never
Speaker 5: to talk to him. After a take, he had to
Speaker 5: have three crew members separate them. Now Wellder apologized later
Speaker 5: and chalked it up to method acting, but the end
Speaker 5: result was Haines was terrified, and which may work because
Speaker 5: that was the point was Peter Weller was a bad guy.
Speaker 5: So you can say it it's method acting, but come on,
Speaker 5: he's a thirteen year old kid.
Speaker 4: That's beyond the pale. But actually not without the realm
Speaker 4: of possibility with that guy. I know somebody who used
Speaker 4: to see mister Weller. That's all romantic. I mean, like
Speaker 4: you can, I guess call it romantically. Okay, yeah, there's
Speaker 4: yeah anyway, okay, And what she said was God forbid,
Speaker 4: you were talking when Peter Weller sponts Peter Weller on
Speaker 4: a television because he's like, shut up and turns it
Speaker 4: on and turns the volume up and then stares in
Speaker 4: rapt attention watching himself.
Speaker 5: And the best actors actually hate seeing themselves, like they
Speaker 5: refuse to watch their own performances.
Speaker 4: That made the viewers. If you want that actual story,
Speaker 4: you can write to me. I'll tell you. I'll tell
Speaker 4: you the whole thing.
Speaker 5: Did you know he had a cameo and Batman and
Speaker 5: Robin I didn't know that.
Speaker 4: I didn't know that he was a biker gang man.
Speaker 4: I was gonna say he must have been one of
Speaker 4: the gang members. Yeah, Yeah, Joel Schumacher throwing him some work.
Speaker 5: He went from Lucas to a TV show called Roomies.
Speaker 5: This is Bert Young Paulie from Rocky. A forty two
Speaker 5: year old marine sergeant and a fourteen year old fish
Speaker 5: obsessed genius strike a perfect and reciprocal balance as college
Speaker 5: freshman roommates.
Speaker 2: He's a forty two year old EGS marine, He's a
Speaker 2: fourteen year old boy genius.
Speaker 4: Together, they'll trash the freshman class in Rubies premiering Friday.
Speaker 5: Hey, he's an old guy, he's a young guy. They're
Speaker 5: in college together. How wacky is that?
Speaker 4: God, the eighties are just rife with He's a garbage man,
Speaker 4: she's he's germaphobe, that's right.
Speaker 5: How will they ever get along? But I think you
Speaker 5: and I can agree that The Lost Boys was the
Speaker 5: highlight of his career bar none.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, My God, was there a bigger picture? I don't
Speaker 4: think so, it's definitive.
Speaker 5: I mean we obviously it's one of our favorites.
Speaker 4: Everyone listening to this has seen Lost Boys, but they
Speaker 4: might not have seen Lucas.
Speaker 5: In fact, if memory serves, you're the one who introduced
Speaker 5: me to Lost Boys because I wasn't much of a
Speaker 5: horror fan in high school, and I remember you showing
Speaker 5: me a double feature of Lost Boys and Near Dark
Speaker 5: to prove to me that Near Dark was the superior
Speaker 5: vampire film. And of course you were right, as always, so.
Speaker 4: Not always, but in that case, definitely, Near Dark is
Speaker 4: a superior vampire movie. Came out the same year it
Speaker 4: was a Revelation, So as I was a senior Dark,
Speaker 4: I got to see Near Dark completely cold. Okay. I
Speaker 4: had a friend, Brian McMahon, whose father was police officer,
Speaker 4: who used to get us into movies for free. He
Speaker 4: would just flash his badge at the box office and
Speaker 4: would take it. There you go. So every Saturday he
Speaker 4: would take Brian and I to the movies and we
Speaker 4: would watch a double feature. And on that day we
Speaker 4: saw I knew we were going to see this Charlie
Speaker 4: Sheen horse stealing movie with I forget this name. It's
Speaker 4: called like Wasteland or something like that. And after that
Speaker 4: we sat down to a movie I knew nothing about.
Speaker 4: I'd never heard of. It just started and suddenly that
Speaker 4: half the cast of aliens is on screen and their vampires.
Speaker 4: Holy shit, it's great.
Speaker 5: In fact, I'm gonna insist people who haven't seen Near
Speaker 5: Dark pause this podcast. Go watch Near Dark. It's got
Speaker 5: nothing to do with Corey ham or what we're discussing here,
Speaker 5: but do yourself a favor and see it. It is.
Speaker 5: It transcends horror. It's just a great fucking movie.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're gonna need it. You're gonna need it as
Speaker 4: a palate cleanser after you watch the YouTube version of
Speaker 4: Corey ham Me myself and kill me already you will.
Speaker 5: So this was actually a released video. This had a
Speaker 5: box It had an inscription from Corey on the back
Speaker 5: saying dear fans, thanks for your support. I hope you
Speaker 5: enjoy this as much as we enjoyed making it. Love
Speaker 5: Corey Hame. This wasn't just some industry like I always
Speaker 5: had this image in my mind that this was just
Speaker 5: something that was passed around in the industry. Somebody got
Speaker 5: a hold of this tape. But it was never. No,
Speaker 5: this was a released video that you could rent in
Speaker 5: video stores with copy on the back and a case
Speaker 5: and everything. So this video Father Malone was written and
Speaker 5: co directed by Brooke McCarter. Now, I know we've talked
Speaker 5: a little bit about this ahead of time. You have
Speaker 5: a story about Brooke mcarter, do you not?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 5: Who is Brook macarter? Tell everybody Brooke.
Speaker 4: Mcarter is one of the Lost Boys. He is the
Speaker 4: death by stereo lost boy kill Marcoys.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And he also showed up in a new Twilight
Speaker 4: Zone episode. He was quite good in I mean, he
Speaker 4: was a good actor. Actually he's passed away since then.
Speaker 4: He died of liver cancer.
Speaker 5: Who that's sad.
Speaker 4: Now many years ago. One of my earlier podcasts is
Speaker 4: called Dark Destinations. It is a radio drama basically, and
Speaker 4: it takes place Each episode takes place in a different
Speaker 4: fictional environment, and one of them takes place in Santa Carla.
Speaker 4: And at the time, I was trying to popularize the show,
Speaker 4: and I joined a Facebook group of Lost Boys and
Speaker 4: oh my god, okay, so yeah, I had seen this
Speaker 4: meme that was showing the Lost Boys from the movie
Speaker 4: all young and beautiful and perfect, and then a shot
Speaker 4: of them fifteen years later where they all looked old
Speaker 4: and fat, and underneath it said party all night, never
Speaker 4: grow old, never die, It's fun to be a vampire.
Speaker 4: That was funny. I posted in the group and I
Speaker 4: got shelacked. Man, I had people threatening my life.
Speaker 5: Wow.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I got a voice message on Facebook from this
Speaker 4: lunatic because evidently Brooke Macarter. I had known this at
Speaker 4: the time. Brook Macarter had already passed away from liver cancer.
Speaker 4: But they were just like, how dare you His family
Speaker 4: could see this? They're on here and blah blah blah,
Speaker 4: And I like took it down because there was such vitriol.
Speaker 4: But then the same person then sent it to Brooke
Speaker 4: Macarter's family to call me out. He said, this person
Speaker 4: was like, you need to take this down because it
Speaker 4: might offend the family if they see it, and then
Speaker 4: when I did he sent it to the family.
Speaker 5: What a lunatic. Yeah, that's the definition of a social
Speaker 5: justice warrior right there.
Speaker 4: Insanity anyway, Brook macart.
Speaker 5: Wow, Now the thing is like, I never read that
Speaker 5: Corey Feldman memoir. I think it's called choreography.
Speaker 4: God almighty, how could anyway?
Speaker 5: But he may be an unreliable narrator in this case,
Speaker 5: but according to him, it's my understanding that he didn't
Speaker 5: have a very high opinion of Brooke McCarter. I think
Speaker 5: because at the time that this video was made, Brooke
Speaker 5: McCarter was living with Ham, and he was acting as
Speaker 5: a kind of manager slash life coach, and I think
Speaker 5: in Feldman's way of thinking, he was a hanger on
Speaker 5: somebody who was not good for Corey Ham and an
Speaker 5: enabler in some way.
Speaker 4: I wonder how much as writer director of this video
Speaker 4: he received for a fee.
Speaker 5: How much he received for as payment. Yeah, I don't know,
Speaker 5: because I don't have any idea of how much this
Speaker 5: thing actually sold or how popular it was in its day.
Speaker 4: I'm just saying, was the motivation here to rehabilitate Corey's
Speaker 4: career or was it to make a buck on Corey
Speaker 4: when you still could, because if he actually got rehabilitated
Speaker 4: and started starring in movies, that was the last time
Speaker 4: you were going to see him.
Speaker 5: It's look, I've seen this probably more than any one
Speaker 5: person should have watched it, and I can't answer that question.
Speaker 5: It's still there's mysteries around this thing that will never
Speaker 5: be solved, and the direction is definitely a big one.
Speaker 5: But so he's interesting that one of his co stars
Speaker 5: and the Lost Boys directed this thing. Directing is an
Speaker 5: odd word to use because just to describe this, I'll
Speaker 5: get into the nuts and bolts, but this thing could
Speaker 5: not be any more eighties. The actual look of it,
Speaker 5: because it's it switches between color and black and white
Speaker 5: and that high speed shutter stroby thing, which immediately marks
Speaker 5: it as a late eighties artifact. And it's not just
Speaker 5: Corey talking to the camera. There's some interview bits in
Speaker 5: him talking in voiceovers, but an awful lot of it
Speaker 5: is just it's almost like he's filming the behind the
Speaker 5: scenes of what it is he's trying to direct. So
Speaker 5: if he's trying to film Corey playing tennis, it's not
Speaker 5: enough to just show him playing tennis. He has to
Speaker 5: show the camera operators setting up on the court with
Speaker 5: the steady cam crab walking backwards while Corey does sets
Speaker 5: up a shot. Okay, let's try that one again, and
Speaker 5: they do another shot. It's I don't know any teeny
Speaker 5: bopper who would have had the patience to sit through
Speaker 5: this thing, because it's not just Corey being Corey. It's
Speaker 5: like you're getting a making of at the same time.
Speaker 5: It's unlike anything else I've ever seen fa them alone
Speaker 5: in that respect.
Speaker 4: I guess in that regard, it is a breakthrough. While
Speaker 4: you're watching the final product.
Speaker 5: And throughout, by the way, there is this incessant new
Speaker 5: Jack swing groove playing.
Speaker 4: I don't know, and I mentioned it it was interminable.
Speaker 5: It's so weird. It's like somebody got themselves in an
Speaker 5: eight o eight drum machine and it's just like the
Speaker 5: swing beat with the with a bass playing and there's
Speaker 5: no vocals. It's just it's like you're on and you're
Speaker 5: in an elevator circle nineteen eighty nine and it's that
Speaker 5: version of Musaic playing over the elevator. It's very it's grating,
Speaker 5: there's no other word for it. It just gets so annoying.
Speaker 4: But maybe when we wear a too long coat.
Speaker 5: Start doing the Roger Rabbit dance.
Speaker 4: Move, and any a too like a zoot suit, pocket.
Speaker 5: Chain, like parachute pants, and vanilla ice because he has
Speaker 5: a vanilla ice look to him at times. He's got
Speaker 5: like the sort.
Speaker 4: Of Africa medallion fashioned in leather.
Speaker 5: So we start out there's a sequence. If we're going
Speaker 5: to break this up into chunks, the first chunk of
Speaker 5: this movie is footage of Corey playing a lot of sports.
Speaker 5: He plays hockey. He's wearing a custom Bruins jersey Amster.
Speaker 5: It Saysmesister Hamster twenty two on the back. It's like
Speaker 5: his own personal Bruins jersey. And by by playing, I
Speaker 5: mean he's mainly skating around and taking one on one
Speaker 5: shots at the goal. There's an Elvis vibe to some
Speaker 5: of this, Father Malone, because it's like Elvis.
Speaker 4: That's the way it is.
Speaker 5: It's people whose job it is to make him look good,
Speaker 5: whether he's playing tennis or like I said, he's playing hockey.
Speaker 5: There's a goalie who's missing every shot that he's shooting
Speaker 5: at him. There's a bit where he's playing baseball and
Speaker 5: they're just shagging grounders and whatever else. But it's all
Speaker 5: of these people who are there in service to Corey Haim.
Speaker 5: But I can't imagine any of them weren't aware of
Speaker 5: his serious substance abuse problems, because it's on full display here.
Speaker 5: As much as he says to the camera, hey, I'm good,
Speaker 5: I'm ready to work, you can see by his interview footage,
Speaker 5: like there's a sequence that they repeat back. They go
Speaker 5: back to several times of him on a couch and
Speaker 5: he's getting.
Speaker 4: I had a hard time watching this scene.
Speaker 5: It was hard because he's getting They're giving him questions
Speaker 5: like at one point, I have some of this written
Speaker 5: down here. He there's one of them. He fidgets, He
Speaker 5: makes odd facial expressions. He's getting these rambling kind of
Speaker 5: adult responses, which if your goal is to convey health
Speaker 5: and well being, this is conveying the exact opposite message.
Speaker 5: Because at one point he says, this is a direct couit.
Speaker 5: He says, so as far as my fans up there
Speaker 5: being in, like help Corey, where's our Corey? On the
Speaker 5: whole misconception thing from the people out there, they have
Speaker 5: every right to feel the way they do, and things
Speaker 5: are great with me. As you see, I'm in very
Speaker 5: good shape now and on the ball things are happening
Speaker 5: me saying that doesn't do justice to the facial ticks
Speaker 5: that he's got going on. In the ram, he says
Speaker 5: it there things are. I'm in very good shape now.
Speaker 5: That's not something you say in a fluff piece. He's
Speaker 5: sending a message to people saying hire me. I'm good
Speaker 5: and he's not good.
Speaker 4: I thought he was a cokehead. He's clearly on fucking
Speaker 4: depressants here. He's half liitted, he's he's forcing every word out.
Speaker 4: He really has to think about everything he's saying.
Speaker 5: I do think that there are parts that he is
Speaker 5: on cocaine, because there's a sequence where he's in front
Speaker 5: of a bank of keyboards.
Speaker 4: Oh and we'll get there, we'll.
Speaker 5: Talk about that. That's another one of these and yettes
Speaker 5: is him playing music and giving his thoughts on music.
Speaker 5: For example, this is an infamous quote from this he said.
Speaker 5: The interview asks what current music he likes, and he
Speaker 5: says inexplicably, he says, I'm into that Japanese funk, that
Speaker 5: funky hip jam thing.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 5: Years later, in two thousand and four, Hame was interviewed
Speaker 5: for Vice magazine. The person there was doing a They
Speaker 5: were going to make a movie about Alfie's. Have you
Speaker 5: ever heard of Alfie's? The club Alfie's from back then?
Speaker 5: Father Malone. No, there is an interesting story here. Apparently
Speaker 5: there was a club run by a guy named Alfi
Speaker 5: that catered specifically to child stars.
Speaker 4: Oh, in the Roosevelt Hotel.
Speaker 5: Yes, like Scott, they had their own version of kind
Speaker 5: of the brat pack. It was Corey Ham, Corey Feldman,
Speaker 5: Alissa Milano, Scott Grimes was in the group. And I
Speaker 5: don't know if she was in it, But so this
Speaker 5: person was.
Speaker 4: About that girl from Small Wonder? Was she allowed the robot?
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 4: It all sounds very dark.
Speaker 5: Alf to me?
Speaker 4: Was alf running around them?
Speaker 2: There?
Speaker 5: Who is the guy who was on? Who's addicted to heroin?
Speaker 3: Max?
Speaker 5: Something? The star of alf Was it?
Speaker 4: Not the star? It was one of the writers?
Speaker 5: No, No, the one of the writers was. But that
Speaker 5: guy Max what's his name? He had a drug problem too.
Speaker 4: So hit a night for young teens? Was Danny Pintaro
Speaker 4: allowed in?
Speaker 5: No? I don't know.
Speaker 4: You didn't have an Alissa Milano hook up? Come on?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 5: I think Alissa Milano dated Corey Ham for a time.
Speaker 5: So anyway, this writer, this person from Vice was interviewing
Speaker 5: Corey ham for this thing about Alfie's that apparently never
Speaker 5: really manifested itself. But he asks him, he says, he
Speaker 5: asks Corey Hame up front. He says, what's Japanese funk
Speaker 5: and replies, Oh, I was just messing around at the time.
Speaker 5: Japanese funk was Japanese funk, It's whatever. There's no such
Speaker 5: thing as Japanese funk, which tells me that he didn't
Speaker 5: know what the hell he was saying during that interview
Speaker 5: in nineteen eighty nine. He couldn't even remember what he
Speaker 5: was talking about.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, speaking back now to the direction that you mentioned,
Speaker 4: the direction quote unquote going on in this how could
Speaker 4: this not be just a quick cash grab or was
Speaker 4: Brooke McCarter also completely blitzed because anyone can see how
Speaker 4: fucking high he is in every fucking scene in this movie.
Speaker 4: It's let's get your rehabilitated, we'll put out this fucking
Speaker 4: thing and then the industry will know. Meanwhile, everyone had
Speaker 4: to be stoned because I don't understand how this got out.
Speaker 5: It's really remarkable because the more it's like he doff
Speaker 5: protests too much. The more he tries to convey an
Speaker 5: image of stability and health, the more or he's doing
Speaker 5: the exact opposite, because, like you said, he's giving these
Speaker 5: very heavily lided interviews. He's manic at some points, he's
Speaker 5: giving weird answers to some of these interview questions. It
Speaker 5: just doesn't make any sense why you would want this
Speaker 5: to come out.
Speaker 4: He shows he's a menace. And when he gets behind
Speaker 4: the wheel of a car with the fucking camera rig
Speaker 4: strap to it so he's driving around, he can't even see.
Speaker 5: That's so great because this is half behind the scenes.
Speaker 5: There's an extended sequence where you see them trying to
Speaker 5: attach the.
Speaker 4: Camera onto the car to dummies.
Speaker 3: There are a bunch of.
Speaker 5: Dummies, and as he's driving, he's just driving for no
Speaker 5: real reason. He's just talking as he's driving. How much
Speaker 5: he loves La. The camera, I swear is shaking so much.
Speaker 5: If you've ever tried to drive, I did this once
Speaker 5: when I first had a camera phone. I tried to
Speaker 5: prop a cat in my phone on my dashboard as
Speaker 5: I drove, just to see like a steady camshot. No,
Speaker 5: it just vibrates all to hell and you can't make
Speaker 5: out anything. That's what happened here. These lunkheads tried to
Speaker 5: bolt this camera on this Alpha Romeo, and it's not
Speaker 5: only do you have the danger of this piece of
Speaker 5: equipment falling off on the highway, but very likely Corey
Speaker 5: Haym himself is under the influence. He shouldn't be driving.
Speaker 5: It's crazy, Father Malone.
Speaker 4: This is an insane piece of entertainment.
Speaker 3: HV.
Speaker 5: It's dangerous. I wrote here, Now, like I said, I've
Speaker 5: seen this many times. I wrote. At one point, I said,
Speaker 5: we're only fourteen minutes into this video, and it feels
Speaker 5: like three hours because east because not a lot happens.
Speaker 5: I maybe over selling what transpires, but it's like they'll
Speaker 5: be the thesis of a segment, will be like I said, sports,
Speaker 5: or it'll be cars, and it will be a good
Speaker 5: I don't know, eight minutes ten minutes devoted to that.
Speaker 5: Here's them putting a camera on the car. Here's him
Speaker 5: getting in the car, here's him driving, Here's him talking
Speaker 5: about the sound editor who's sitting with them in the car,
Speaker 5: and it's it just goes on and on. Nothing really happens.
Speaker 5: But again the irony is nothing's happening. But everything is
Speaker 5: up there on the screen. You just have to open
Speaker 5: your eyes and see how this poor soul is acting.
Speaker 4: I don't know and written what was written. Shouldn't one
Speaker 4: actor have recognized another actor and needs a fucking script
Speaker 4: or all actors just like I'll just wing it.
Speaker 5: Well, my guess is this was written in a manner
Speaker 5: not unlike how they wrote the movie Head. Remember the
Speaker 5: famous story about how the monkeys wrote Head.
Speaker 4: They went up to Joshua Tree and they locked themselves
Speaker 4: in a cabin and they all took acid.
Speaker 5: Yeah, like Bob Raefelson was there, Jack Nicholson was there,
Speaker 5: and they just went, Hey, wouldn't it be funny if
Speaker 5: we were dandriff in some guy's head? Wouldn't that be hilarious?
Speaker 5: Now it will? As a side note, I fucking love Head.
Speaker 5: I think it's brilliant. So in that case, they captured
Speaker 5: lightning in the bar despite themselves. But I suspect the
Speaker 5: making of this not to not to speak ill of
Speaker 5: the dead, because as you said, both McMasters and McCarter
Speaker 5: excuse me, and Haim are both dead sadly, But I
Speaker 5: don't think there was a lot of thought put into
Speaker 5: how this was going to be made. I think they
Speaker 5: just sat around and said, hey, man, let's have I
Speaker 5: got it.
Speaker 6: We'll have a sequence where you're like, you're playing hockey
Speaker 6: and you look great and you're hitting shots into the goal,
Speaker 6: and then you're talking about how much it's a team sport,
Speaker 6: and the fact that it's a team sport means that, hey,
Speaker 6: filmmaking is a team sport too, So read between the lines.
Speaker 5: I'm a team player. And then we'll have you like
Speaker 5: modeling because you show how good you That is what
Speaker 5: I think happened the two of them Cabana, just hashing
Speaker 5: this out while under the influence, that's my guess.
Speaker 4: Like Quentin Tarantino and Paul Thomas Anderson on coke in
Speaker 4: that room thing. You ever hear that story?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 5: What is it?
Speaker 4: Fiona Apple, who is dead. Paul Thomas Anderson at the
Speaker 4: time says said something to the effect of, you don't
Speaker 4: know what hell is unless you've been in a room
Speaker 4: with Quinton Tarantino and balth Thamas Anderson, like both high
Speaker 4: on cocaine and talking about themselves.
Speaker 5: Seriously. I mean that now, Quentin Tarantino is such a
Speaker 5: cuddly guy. He's an elder Statesman for that type of filmmaking.
Speaker 5: But yeah, I can imagine him talking your air off, chattering,
Speaker 5: even not on cocaine. He's probably a lot to take in.
Speaker 5: But I digress. So, like I said, there's a sports thing.
Speaker 5: There's a whole sequence where he's just floating in his pool.
Speaker 5: He does nothing else. He dives into the pool, he
Speaker 5: floats in the pool, he talks about how much he
Speaker 5: loves his pool, and this just keeps going on and on.
Speaker 5: He plays on his keyboard. We talked about that.
Speaker 4: We didn't really talk about that. Tell us, how would
Speaker 4: you describe his musical stylings.
Speaker 5: You know what, here's the thing. You might be surprised
Speaker 5: by this.
Speaker 4: He's actually a pretty good player.
Speaker 5: Yes, that's what I was going to say. He I
Speaker 5: was all prepared to say, Oh, he's just hitting random
Speaker 5: keys on the thing and letting the sampler dude, the
Speaker 5: heavy lifting. That's that may be true for part of this,
Speaker 5: but there is a part of this musical sequence, this interlude,
Speaker 5: where you can actually see that he actually is playing
Speaker 5: like he's just he's not playing a song. He's just
Speaker 5: he's got a chord sequence and he keeps repeating it,
Speaker 5: and he goes back to it, and then he's got
Speaker 5: this annoying sampler that just keeps repeating vocal phrases because
Speaker 5: that's what was popular in the eighties. But I was
Speaker 5: actually surprised, and looking at it with a different lens,
Speaker 5: he actually had a little bit of a skill at
Speaker 5: the keyboard. I was actually surprised by that. It doesn't
Speaker 5: make mean the music was good, but there was a
Speaker 5: rhyme and reason to it.
Speaker 4: I guess that was my question, what do you think
Speaker 4: of that music?
Speaker 5: And maybe the music's terrible, Make no mistake, it's incessantly
Speaker 5: repeating and looping. It's literally it's like he had a
Speaker 5: bar of music and he just keeps the drum machine
Speaker 5: just keeps looping back, and the melody just keeps looping back,
Speaker 5: and the bass keeps looping back. And again there's this
Speaker 5: elevis element where there's guys behind him, ay, oh yeah, right,
Speaker 5: you're cool, like they're, if not pretending to groove, at
Speaker 5: least trying to appreciate what he's doing. But again, there's nothing.
Speaker 5: This movie is all about the subtext. The text is meaningless.
Speaker 5: The subtext is really what we're all about.
Speaker 4: Jammin On the one rest in Peace, Malcolm Jamal Warner.
Speaker 5: I actually not only that, I did actually make a
Speaker 5: joke here. I wrote this down. There's at one point
Speaker 5: during his fashion shoot, he's wearing a leather jacket with
Speaker 5: skeletons painted on the back, and he takes it off
Speaker 5: to reveal what I can only describe as a Gordon
Speaker 5: Gartrell type shirt. I love using Gordon Gartrell as a
Speaker 5: reference Father Malone, because it may be not that I
Speaker 5: was a big Cosby show nerd, but that between the
Speaker 5: Stevie wonder Jamin on the One and the Gordon Gartrell episode,
Speaker 5: those to me are perfection. The Gordon Gartrell is hilarious.
Speaker 5: Do you remember that episode?
Speaker 4: I absolutely remember that with that designer shirt.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Denise was supposed to. She said I can make
Speaker 5: you because they were the shirts were super expensive. They
Speaker 5: were like hundreds of dollars, and Denise said, I can
Speaker 5: make you one of those for thirty bucks. And he's like, done,
Speaker 5: do it and he puts it on and it's so
Speaker 5: over the top ridiculous. One sleeve is too long, one
Speaker 5: sleeve is too short, the buttons and the collar don't
Speaker 5: line up. They're all and it's this great reveal where
Speaker 5: he comes out and he's screaming at Denise about this
Speaker 5: terrible shirt. Look in all seriousness, Malcolm Jamal Warner, we
Speaker 5: lost a really good actor, a good comic actor, and
Speaker 5: a very good comedic actor, and a fabulous musician to boot.
Speaker 4: No joke, not accusing you of joking. And I agree with
Speaker 4: that sentiment.
Speaker 1: One.
Speaker 4: If you watched most recently on Key and Peel, he
Speaker 4: keeps showing up as this like black Republican and like
Speaker 4: jeans and one of those those stupid leather jackets. And
Speaker 4: I'm pissed, royally pissed.
Speaker 5: It's so good he was he It's funny because there's
Speaker 5: an interesting dichotomy here. We bring up Malcolm Jamal Warner
Speaker 5: and we're talking about Corey Haim. They both are child actors.
Speaker 4: Who do you think the Cosby kids were in that nightclub?
Speaker 5: Probably not, because I don't think mister Cosby, which is
Speaker 5: what they all had to call him, Like even now,
Speaker 5: these kids quote unquote are like in their fifties and
Speaker 5: they still call him mister Cosby, which I think is interesting.
Speaker 5: But no, I don't think any of them could be
Speaker 5: in those clubs. Remember Lisa Bney did Angel Heart and
Speaker 5: she was kicked off of like a different world, like
Speaker 5: she that ruined her standing with Cosby.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's true. Yeah, but then she showed back up
Speaker 4: on the Cosby Show.
Speaker 5: She did she married that naval nerd. What was that
Speaker 5: guy's name?
Speaker 4: Who cares? He was terrible. I just remember that. At
Speaker 4: one point as a joke, all of the characters came
Speaker 4: in and they were wearing shirts that's a PG or
Speaker 4: R or something like that, and then she came in
Speaker 4: wearing an X because angel Hart had been rated X
Speaker 4: initially because of the sex scene between her and Mickey Rourke.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Did I tell you when I met Lisa Bonet one time?
Speaker 5: You never told me the story.
Speaker 4: So this is I was working at the New Wilshire
Speaker 4: Theater in Cinta, Monica between fourteenth and Nuclid Street, and
Speaker 4: it was a matinee on a Sunday, and it was
Speaker 4: so early in the morning and I had just cut
Speaker 4: the movie had just ended, and I had come downstairs
Speaker 4: and Lisa Bonet came out and said, can you help
Speaker 4: me find my glasses? And it was like a goddess. Man.
Speaker 4: There are very few people I've met who people described
Speaker 4: the IT factor. They just glow. You just want to
Speaker 4: do anything for them, and she was one of those people.
Speaker 4: And so I went in and I found her glasses.
Speaker 4: I was so excited to find her glasses for like
Speaker 4: her champion. And then I gave her glasses and she
Speaker 4: said thank you very much, and it was I was
Speaker 4: on them. I'm still on cloud nine.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, you have the sunshine shining down on you.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, this is like nineteen ninety two, ninety three,
Speaker 4: by the way, like Lisa Bonett just oh my short hair,
Speaker 4: just gorgeous, that her skin was so man.
Speaker 5: She was beautiful. She was beautiful. She would not I
Speaker 5: know she went back to Cosby eventually, but but she
Speaker 5: did her own thing. Remember she she did Playboy. She
Speaker 5: married Lenny Kravitz. Remember that they did Beautiful.
Speaker 4: Performer, And Zoe Kravitz is their child, beautiful.
Speaker 5: And fucking talented as hell.
Speaker 4: Fucking ay Man Jason Momo is a fucking idiot.
Speaker 5: I know, huh blew it, he blew it. But I
Speaker 5: just think it's interesting we're talking about these child actors,
Speaker 5: and again it's there's been some dispute over what actually
Speaker 5: happened to Corey Hame. I know Corey Feldman has his
Speaker 5: side of the Red and he's gone on record is
Speaker 5: saying what he believes, and I guess we take him
Speaker 5: at his word because he apparently knew him better than anybody.
Speaker 5: But at a minimum, he had a shitty life. I'm
Speaker 5: sure he was fairly unsupervised. I don't think he had
Speaker 5: a lot of parental oversight from what was happening to him.
Speaker 5: But having said that, like I said, I do believe
Speaker 5: that ultimately we have a responsibility to make good choices.
Speaker 4: And I don't know, I.
Speaker 5: Guess it's up for debate whether any of this could
Speaker 5: have been avoided or if he maybe he had just
Speaker 5: that type of addictive personality and he couldn't maybe he
Speaker 5: was faded to be to end up like this. It's sad,
Speaker 5: but this kind of nakedly ambitious means of upping his
Speaker 5: standing in Hollywood. It's it is sad that he had
Speaker 5: to resort to that. But it's a little bit I
Speaker 5: don't know, there's a what's the word I'm looking for.
Speaker 5: It's it's a little sneaky and a little bit absurd
Speaker 5: that he would try to pull this over on Hollywood
Speaker 5: because no who, no one's going to fall for this.
Speaker 4: It's one person. This is my point. This isn't It
Speaker 4: wasn't done in a vacuum. This isn't like a video
Speaker 4: that escaped onto the internet. There was no internet. This
Speaker 4: is something they crafted. So it's not only this group
Speaker 4: of idiots. At a certain point, they have to hand
Speaker 4: it to somebody else who's going to master the tape,
Speaker 4: and there had to be an executive at some company somewhere.
Speaker 4: Was everyone so nakedly thinking that this was going to
Speaker 4: be a best seller, that they were going to make
Speaker 4: a lot of money off of it, or that it
Speaker 4: was going to rehabilitate his career, and then they would
Speaker 4: be on a gravy train like I At no point
Speaker 4: did anyone say he's completely fucked up in this every
Speaker 4: fucking scene.
Speaker 5: Yeah, there no movie. The thing is like you, if
Speaker 5: you watch the crappiest midnight movie that you can possibly
Speaker 5: imagine something that looks like it was who made this?
Speaker 5: The fact is actually fuck Wim. I blanking on his name.
Speaker 5: I'm married to Meredith. Soalnger now patnallsas he has a
Speaker 5: great bit he talks about deathbed, the bed that eats people.
Speaker 5: He has this great run where but it's true that
Speaker 5: you're seeing this, thinking it's this piece of crap, But
Speaker 5: there are dozens of people behind the scenes making this movie,
Speaker 5: lighting it. There's somebody bringing in bagels, right, somebody who
Speaker 5: who caters this.
Speaker 4: Well, nobody says to make a bad movie.
Speaker 5: But my point is that we're watching this the quality
Speaker 5: is really it's like having it's like a camcorder from
Speaker 5: nineteen eighty nine. It just doesn't look very good. It
Speaker 5: looks like somebody did this as a home movie. But
Speaker 5: when you watch it, there's no denying that there are photographers.
Speaker 5: There are tons of cameramen. Yeah, this is a big artist.
Speaker 4: They had to like call ahead to the sports facility
Speaker 4: and say Corey Haym's going to be coming over beyond
Speaker 4: the ice and we're going to be filming. Like permits
Speaker 4: were probably worked out like christ this.
Speaker 5: There are vehicles that have to be rented. There's costuming
Speaker 5: that has to because there's a whole sequence where he
Speaker 5: just models a bunch of costumes, including this Gordon Guard
Speaker 5: Trail type shirt.
Speaker 4: So to hire a makeup artist to come make him
Speaker 4: up while he rambles on hairstylist.
Speaker 5: There's even there's even this weird shot of somebody pumping
Speaker 5: air into the alligator float that he then floats on
Speaker 5: on the pool. It's like, why would you film that
Speaker 5: someone literally with one of those little things to fill
Speaker 5: it up there. It's insane, But you're right. At no
Speaker 5: point that anybody or maybe someone didn't they were overruleed.
Speaker 5: But it doesn't. It seems like nobody was the adult
Speaker 5: on a set saying what the fuck are we doing here?
Speaker 5: Look at him. He can barely speak without falling asleep
Speaker 5: right there on the couch. He looks terrible. He's not
Speaker 5: making any sense. He's a danger to himself. Why the
Speaker 5: fuck are we here? That never happened.
Speaker 4: Yeah, this isn't Let's just get him through the gig.
Speaker 4: This is let's rehabilitate his career.
Speaker 5: Or probably more likely, Hey, maybe there's money to be made.
Speaker 5: He has a big fan base. Girls love him. Let's
Speaker 5: put this out under the guys that it's a day
Speaker 5: in the life of this guy, and we'll kill two
Speaker 5: birds with one stone. We'll restore his standing in Hollywood
Speaker 5: and make a few bucks in the bargain. I don't
Speaker 5: have I couldn't find any sales figures for this thing.
Speaker 5: I somehow I doubt that it made a lot of money. Look,
Speaker 5: I saw this thing for years. I didn't even know
Speaker 5: that this was a released piece of media. I thought
Speaker 5: this was just some video cassette that had been passed
Speaker 5: around Hollywood that somehow leaked out. They thought this thing
Speaker 5: was going to sell.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I didn't know it was either. I saw it
Speaker 4: in Los Angeles, like at a party. Somebody was like,
Speaker 4: you've never seen that, and they like popped it in.
Speaker 4: So I assumed, like you did, that this was just
Speaker 4: something being passed around.
Speaker 5: Yeah, just some like the Trogs tape, something that like they.
Speaker 4: Cast the Spirit of Christmas. That was the same era
Speaker 4: that videotape was actually being passed around. That was actual
Speaker 4: viral video.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, and that made the South Park guys right,
Speaker 5: that was what lit the flame.
Speaker 4: Oh my god. And you know what I did what
Speaker 4: everyone did. As soon as that tamp got into my hand,
Speaker 4: somebody let me borrow it, I duped it and handed
Speaker 4: it back, and then somebody passed it on and on. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's that was That's the very definition of viral.
Speaker 5: But this, I just don't know anyone who could watch
Speaker 5: this and not just see through all of the ridiculousness
Speaker 5: of it and say This is really sad video. There's
Speaker 5: no there's nothing funny about it, especially now knowing that
Speaker 5: he never regained any sort of standing. He just he
Speaker 5: never got back to Hollywood. I know, like I said,
Speaker 5: he'd done a few cameos and things here and there.
Speaker 5: But the way, have you ever seen him in Dicky
Speaker 5: Roberts former child actor?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 4: I is he in the poker scene?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 5: I think he's only at the end, so the wrap
Speaker 5: up the end.
Speaker 4: I don't think I got to the end. So sorry,
Speaker 4: David spaed I love you, but I couldn't get through that.
Speaker 5: This is in its own way, this is every bit
Speaker 5: is sad as what we're talking about here, the ending
Speaker 5: of Dicky Roberts is as the credits are rolling, it's
Speaker 5: basically we are the World Style sing along featuring oh.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, Eithan Barry Williams hamming it up.
Speaker 5: Yeah, there's the Brady Boys are there, Gary Coleman of course,
Speaker 5: is there. Todd Bridges, Adam Rich from Ada is enough
Speaker 5: who looked really bad. Laife Garrett is there and they're
Speaker 5: all it's the conceit is. They're singing this We Are
Speaker 5: the World Style Ballad. But it's all about how if
Speaker 5: you come up to me and you call me by
Speaker 5: my character's name, I will knock you the fuck out.
Speaker 5: That's literally, and that's I guess there's something funny about
Speaker 5: seeing Roge from What's Happening say something like that. That's
Speaker 5: the whole humor of it. But it's just sad man.
Speaker 5: And then they cut to and it's clearly Feldman and
Speaker 5: ham are there at a different time because they're not
Speaker 5: part of the larger chorus. It's just a shot of
Speaker 5: them singing into a microphone, the two of them. You
Speaker 5: can't even understand what Corey Haym says. Feldman says something
Speaker 5: about how he doesn't know karate but he knows crazy,
Speaker 5: that line, that sort of James Brown line. And then
Speaker 5: Corey Hame says something I had to rewind. I'm like,
Speaker 5: what the fuck did he just say? He just looks
Speaker 5: awful and it's sad. I know he was on the
Speaker 5: two Cory's television show. That kind of helped.
Speaker 4: Cory Feldman's naked attempt to make money off of his
Speaker 4: ailing friend Oof. That's by the way, let's talk about
Speaker 4: that for a second. Sure, Cory Feldman has been posting
Speaker 4: on this I'm a victim thing. Now, granted, his parents
Speaker 4: stole all of his money. That's fucked up, right, absolutely,
Speaker 4: But everything after that, everything after say Lost Boys, was
Speaker 4: all him and he keeps Earlier, you mentioned Hame suffered
Speaker 4: some rather horrible sexual assaults as a young actor. It
Speaker 4: feels to me that Corey Feldman has conflated that past
Speaker 4: with his own. He seems to be drafting off of
Speaker 4: the actual victimhood of Corey Haim and claiming that he
Speaker 4: deserves the same sort of I.
Speaker 7: Don't know what sympathy sympathy, Yeah, I agree, I look
Speaker 7: the problem one of the problems with Corey Feldman is
Speaker 7: that the guy just can't get out of his own
Speaker 7: fucking way.
Speaker 5: For everything that he does that seems to be sympathetic,
Speaker 5: and maybe you give him kind of a break, he
Speaker 5: does something that just makes you go, I don't I
Speaker 5: have no sympathy for you.
Speaker 2: Hello, I'm Corey Felman. Did you know that crack cocaine
Speaker 2: has become a national concern. This drug is an epidemic
Speaker 2: sweeping across the country. Crack cocaine is knocking on the
Speaker 2: doors of many communities, and I'm concerned about the effect
Speaker 2: it's having in our society, Please lend a helping hand
Speaker 2: by joining me and others in the fight to get
Speaker 2: crack cocaine off the streets. Be a KHJ TV Starr
Speaker 2: don't use drugs.
Speaker 5: I don't know if he does it anymore, But he
Speaker 5: used to actually have his compound was run as Corey's Angels,
Speaker 5: where he would get these beautiful blonde women off the
Speaker 5: street who wanted to make something of themselves in Hollywood.
Speaker 5: He would take them in, but then he would control
Speaker 5: what they ate. It was a fucking cult, is what
Speaker 5: it was. And that alone is enough for me to say,
Speaker 5: you know what, you don't get the benefit of the
Speaker 5: doubt anymore. I get it, you were abused and the
Speaker 5: system fucked you over. But I'm going to say it
Speaker 5: again in the context of Corey Feldman, there's a reason
Speaker 5: why he's not making these big movies anymore. I just
Speaker 5: don't think. I think Hollywood is you know what, You're
Speaker 5: too much for us. No what you bring to the table,
Speaker 5: It's not worth it anymore for us to put you
Speaker 5: in this movie.
Speaker 4: It's just not his response to being not blacklisted. I
Speaker 4: don't think there's anything any such thing anymore. But his
Speaker 4: response to no longer being hired because he had been
Speaker 4: treated like a joke, one of the Corey's, the teeny
Speaker 4: bopper guy from the eighties. His response was to become
Speaker 4: even bigger. His response was to become an even bigger joke. Yeah,
Speaker 4: he weave her hair, stopped dancing like Michael Jackson, takes
Speaker 4: some acting classes. It's been a while, and get back
Speaker 4: in the game, Corey.
Speaker 5: But Michael Jackson thing just kills me. As I was
Speaker 5: diving down the rabbit hole for this. In preparation, I
Speaker 5: told you that I rewatched the Dream a Little Dream
Speaker 5: that the dance sequence that he does in the gym,
Speaker 5: he dances for Meridith Salinger's character. And I know that
Speaker 5: he has said he's claimed that I'm not dancing like
Speaker 5: Michael Jackson. It's just that we both learned at the
Speaker 5: same time. And no, he's doing Michael Jackson every time
Speaker 5: he does. He's got the same like shoes with the
Speaker 5: pantcuffs that come up too high, he's got the hat,
Speaker 5: he's got the stringy hair that comes down his face.
Speaker 5: He's doing all of the Michael Jackson moves. And it's
Speaker 5: just come on, man, what are you doing?
Speaker 4: You ever listen to that Goonies commentary with the cast. Yes,
Speaker 4: Josh Brolin, Josh Brolin always a hero, Cory, are you
Speaker 4: still dancing around like Michael Jackson?
Speaker 5: God bless Brolin. That's awesome.
Speaker 4: I've always been a fan of that guyn.
Speaker 5: Corey Feldman is, So he didn't it didn't have to
Speaker 5: end this way with him, because as we already had
Speaker 5: talked about, he's good in stand By Me, he's really
Speaker 5: good and I like him. And Lost Boys he's actually funny,
Speaker 5: and Lost Boys he's sort of proto. Yeah, he's good.
Speaker 5: At some point he went from doing that to doing
Speaker 5: like Meatballs for and snow Boarding Academy or whatever other
Speaker 5: fuck movies that I.
Speaker 4: Mean, high school forever, right, how dare you?
Speaker 5: It's just he had he could have done it. I
Speaker 5: know he had his own battle to substance abuse and
Speaker 5: all that kind of stuff, but he's The fact is
Speaker 5: he's still here and Corey ham isn't. And there's value
Speaker 5: in that. That's something actually to be admired when you
Speaker 5: think about it, somebody who survived. But at the same time,
Speaker 5: he just seems like such an asshole that I don't know.
Speaker 5: I guess I'll give him a hand for surviving, but
Speaker 5: not much more than.
Speaker 4: That he's a bigger tragedy and that he actually had promise.
Speaker 5: We had talked briefly about the Lifetime movie. There was
Speaker 5: a two Corey's Lifetime movie, one of these bad, badly
Speaker 5: casted sort of a Matthew Bright, very surface level, lurid movies.
Speaker 5: You saw it, didn't you.
Speaker 4: I've seen enough of it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And what was your assessment of Corey Feldman in
Speaker 5: that it was.
Speaker 4: The catalyst for my theory that he is drafting on
Speaker 4: the actual torment and grief and brutalization of his friend
Speaker 4: and treating it as his own and playing the victim
Speaker 4: when he's just a guy who was a bit of
Speaker 4: a dickhead who had a substance abuse problem for a while,
Speaker 4: and yes, his parents stole all of his money. Nevertheless,
Speaker 4: he's in a unique position to make a lot of
Speaker 4: by just behaving because Richard Donner is nothing if not
Speaker 4: a fucking loyal human being and would have put him
Speaker 4: in every fucking movie in the nineties, every single one
Speaker 4: of them.
Speaker 8: There was this thing with Corey Feldman and he was
Speaker 8: getting a he was he was crying, and he was
Speaker 8: going like, I'm just I'm just so worried about everything
Speaker 8: that's going on with me right now, and you know
Speaker 8: it happened, and I'm really worried. And I can hear
Speaker 8: the producer of Camera go that was great, Corey. Can
Speaker 8: you just say this weekend because that's when the he
Speaker 8: goes what yeah, go problem.
Speaker 5: I think your exact words to me were Feldman is
Speaker 5: actually the villain of this whole thing. He's really the
Speaker 5: villain of this and the guys of him trying to
Speaker 5: be or on the surface being the friend, the brother,
Speaker 5: if you will, to Corey Hame, He's actually the one
Speaker 5: who maybe wasn't always looking out for his best interests.
Speaker 4: How about tank all of the money that you're going
Speaker 4: to make on your Cory's series and put him in
Speaker 4: fucking rehab.
Speaker 5: He needed it. I know the official word on what
Speaker 5: he died of was. I think they said he died
Speaker 5: of pneumonia.
Speaker 4: He died of heart he I don't know that he ever.
Speaker 5: Conquered his substance abuses.
Speaker 4: Sir, not He's overdosed on something or other.
Speaker 5: Yeah, sad, sad, but we will always have this time
Speaker 5: capsule of him at seventeen, seventeen years old. Father malone
Speaker 5: and already has been.
Speaker 4: That's really difficult. That's awful, Yeah, seriously.
Speaker 5: And the way that this ends the way that this
Speaker 5: Vanity project, if you hear lim it limps over the
Speaker 5: finish line, it's a darkly lit PSA style bit where
Speaker 5: Hame is going over the resume of movies that he's made,
Speaker 5: and he it ends with basically him doing a stay
Speaker 5: in school type PSA. He's look, I know it's very glamorous.
Speaker 5: It looks like it's glamorous to be an actor, but
Speaker 5: stay in school, do your thing. It was very out
Speaker 5: of line. Like the whole preceding video that we've just
Speaker 5: watched is how glamorous it is to be an actor.
Speaker 5: Look at I'm wearing. I'm wearing wardrobe, fancy clothes. I
Speaker 5: got my Gordon Gartrell, I'm in my pool, I'm playing tennis.
Speaker 5: Look how glamorous it is. And then he's like, oh,
Speaker 5: but don't you know, do as I say, don't do
Speaker 5: as I do. At the end, I was like, what
Speaker 5: the fuck is this thrown in bullshit?
Speaker 4: It should have been a video of him working at McDonald's.
Speaker 4: He went out with his hanging out with his mom
Speaker 4: and dad.
Speaker 5: I will say this speaking of that there's.
Speaker 4: Way with a dog doing something normal and not just
Speaker 4: coked up, fucking lunacy.
Speaker 5: The one sort of truly sad bit that sad in
Speaker 5: and of the moment and not something that requires some
Speaker 5: retrospect is the off screen interviewer at one point asks
Speaker 5: Hame if he could relive one day, what would it be.
Speaker 5: His response, father, Malone, do you remember this? Do you
Speaker 5: remember this part of the video. He talks about this
Speaker 5: little stuffed animal that his mother got him before he
Speaker 5: was born. That's a dog that he had since he
Speaker 5: was before he was born, and there was a security blanket.
Speaker 5: He took it eddy everywhere he went. He was making
Speaker 5: a TV movie with Liza Minelli nineteen eighty five Is
Speaker 5: a Time to Live. He was fourteen years old. He
Speaker 5: had it with him. He left it in this hotel
Speaker 5: room and the maid somehow took the bed sheets away
Speaker 5: and this stuffed animal was wrapped up in them and
Speaker 5: it was gone forever. This little stuffed animal that he
Speaker 5: had since he was a baby, that was his security blanket,
Speaker 5: was thrown away during this movie. He says that would
Speaker 5: be the day that he would relive. Don't you find
Speaker 5: that fucking wrenching. This one. It's like Rosebud, It's like
Speaker 5: something out of Citizen Kane. The one thing that he
Speaker 5: would relive is getting back this fucking stuffed animal that
Speaker 5: he had since he was a baby. That to me,
Speaker 5: that kind of got to me. He doesn't express it
Speaker 5: like that, he doesn't cry or anything. He just off
Speaker 5: Handley says, yeah, that would be the day that I
Speaker 5: would relive. I'm like, that's fucking sad.
Speaker 4: Did that happen while he was filming Lost Boys, because
Speaker 4: it's just three years prior.
Speaker 5: He was It was in eighty five. It was two
Speaker 5: years before Lost.
Speaker 4: Boys, Okay, but he's recording this in nineteen eighty eight
Speaker 4: now at least. Yeah, I came out in eighty nine.
Speaker 5: He was seventeen when he made.
Speaker 4: This, so it's only three years ago. He's saying, I
Speaker 4: want to go back to that time three years ago
Speaker 4: when I lost animal. But if I asked, I actually
Speaker 4: tuned out during this part HP because as soon as
Speaker 4: he's as soon as he brought up a stuff down line,
Speaker 4: I went, this is for teeny boppers. Okay.
Speaker 5: I guess you could look at it that way, but
Speaker 5: I'm choosing to look at it. If I asked you, like, hey,
Speaker 5: is there a day like to relive this? Probably something
Speaker 5: like hey, this was a sliding doors moment that I
Speaker 5: know would have changed my life for one way or another.
Speaker 5: I know I would have said that, But this is
Speaker 5: such a minor, nonsensical thing that happened to him. I
Speaker 5: guess I'm taking him at his word that he really
Speaker 5: does fucking miss this stuffed animal, and how sad that's
Speaker 5: the thing he would go back and change.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but he's also high. That's it.
Speaker 5: That's true too. I guess you can't overlook that.
Speaker 4: I don't really take anything he said in this video
Speaker 4: as any sort of concrete proof of anything.
Speaker 5: He's apparently the most unreliable of narrators. Yeah, I guess
Speaker 5: that's what we're looking at here. Interesting other side note,
Speaker 5: this is another story that has nothing to do with
Speaker 5: anything this interview that he did with with Vice magazine.
Speaker 5: Do you remember father belone New York Seltzer when we
Speaker 5: were kids.
Speaker 4: Of course, it was delicious.
Speaker 5: It was delicious. They don't make it anymore. I don't
Speaker 5: think there was a commercial.
Speaker 4: Haym have something to do with it. Was he busted drinking?
Speaker 4: New York Seltzer and that child nightclub was Tina you
Speaker 4: others allowed into the child nightclub? She was Actually she
Speaker 4: was part of this group of kids child Steine Bateman
Speaker 4: there No. I think she was charging us about the
Speaker 4: terrors of AI way back then.
Speaker 5: So, but Haines does figure into this. I thought this
Speaker 5: was interesting in the context of this interview. Randy Miller
Speaker 5: was the president of New York Seltzer. The commercial Do
Speaker 5: you remember the commercial for New York Seltzer. It was
Speaker 5: a guy jumping off of the roof of a hotel
Speaker 5: with a New York Seltzer in his hand. Do you
Speaker 5: remember this?
Speaker 4: No, you don't remember this.
Speaker 5: It was David Coverdale from White Snake saying the theme
Speaker 5: to this, it's like a hair metal theme. There's nothing
Speaker 5: in the world like New York Seltzer. And while this
Speaker 5: is all happening, you see this guy, Randy Miller. He
Speaker 5: has They show him with Tiger on a chain. He's like, hey,
Speaker 5: I'm a badass dude. And he jumps off of this
Speaker 5: hotel with a New York Seltzer and he was like, hey, cheers.
Speaker 5: Corey Ham was there for that. He was friends with
Speaker 5: this guy Randy Miller and he was there, he was
Speaker 5: on the ground, like watching this guy do this, do
Speaker 5: this stunt. Randy Miller somehow figures into this ALFI character.
Speaker 5: I don't know exactly how, but that came up during
Speaker 5: the context and I was just like, fuck, I haven't
Speaker 5: thought of New York Seltzer in decades. That's so hilarious.
Speaker 4: I have no objection to seeing Corey Ham again in
Speaker 4: the future. I just can't ever bear to see him
Speaker 4: like this again.
Speaker 5: It is look all things, all kidding aside, all jokes aside,
Speaker 5: It is a sad look at a star who's completely
Speaker 5: lost his way. It's just no way around it, and
Speaker 5: even sadder to know that he never found his way.
Speaker 5: That's really the ultimate wrenching aspect this whole thing is
Speaker 5: if he went back, if he mounted a comeback and
Speaker 5: was bigger and better than ever, we could look at
Speaker 5: this and laugh about it and say, all right, that
Speaker 5: was just a blip in the radar.
Speaker 4: Yeah, remember that time he tried to convince everyone not
Speaker 4: that you were clean when you were clearly fucked up. Yeah,
Speaker 4: Charlie Sheen.
Speaker 5: Winning It would have been because people Charlie Sheen, although
Speaker 5: he's not necessarily considered the most stable of individuals. People
Speaker 5: don't talk about that when he went off the deep
Speaker 5: end and he was talking about tiger blood and all
Speaker 5: that kind of stuff. But he made it through. But
Speaker 5: Corey Hame never made it through. That's sad.
Speaker 4: No, he needed a friend, like a really good friend,
Speaker 4: like somebody else named Corey to fucking put out a
Speaker 4: steadying hand instead of trying to recruit blondes to be
Speaker 4: his personal army. Gross really gross, Okay, so gross Feldman.
Speaker 5: Oh, yeah, he's completely He just seems greasy and not unsavory.
Speaker 5: He's a very unsavory character, that's my impression.
Speaker 4: I bet his tongue is out of his mouth a
Speaker 4: lot of times, Like, I bet that's like a sexy
Speaker 4: move for him.
Speaker 5: I showed you. I forwarded you that at a video
Speaker 5: from The Two Cory's there's a moment in the two
Speaker 5: Corey TV Show that he's giving his wife a Valentine's
Speaker 5: Day present and it's not a ring, it's not jewelry,
Speaker 5: it's not flowers. The wife comes home and outside is
Speaker 5: Cory with a ten piece band singing the worst song
Speaker 5: ever because he believes he's a good singer and he's not.
Speaker 5: Corey Feldman, I'm here to tell you cannot sing. He's terrible.
Speaker 5: And not only that, he gets into her face when
Speaker 5: the big finish happens in the song and he's doing
Speaker 5: the scats sing and I love you baby, he is
Speaker 5: so close, He's probably a half inch away from his
Speaker 5: wife's face. And I felt such sympathy for her in
Speaker 5: that moment, because she has to pretend that she's overcome
Speaker 5: with emotion at this display when I'm sure inside of
Speaker 5: her skin is crawling, because how could it not? Father
Speaker 5: them alone when he's singing an inch from your face. Hey,
Speaker 5: she married him and then she very quickly divorced him,
Speaker 5: so who can blame her?
Speaker 4: I want a divorce from Corey Feldman now too.
Speaker 5: I think I think the world wants to divorce Corey
Speaker 5: Feldman and has so for a long time. Everyone everyone
Speaker 5: dislikes him, except for that guy from lymp Biscuit Fred Durst.
Speaker 4: Yeah, are they buddies?
Speaker 5: They are buddies. He brought him, fred Durst brought him
Speaker 5: on tour with Limp Biscuit in their most recent tour.
Speaker 5: He was like one of the opening acts.
Speaker 4: Did it all for the nookie?
Speaker 5: Did it for something? See Fred Durst bugs me too.
Speaker 4: Remember Wes Borland and his creepy gulishness out of a
Speaker 4: completely out of place in that band, like he's in
Speaker 4: the wrong band.
Speaker 5: The thing about it is when Limp Biscuit was popular
Speaker 5: in the nineties, there was no wink and a smile
Speaker 5: at the audience. They believed in every bullshit song they sang.
Speaker 5: They took it seriously. So for them now, like now,
Speaker 5: if you look at footage of them performing, it's, oh,
Speaker 5: here's Fred Durst. He's wearing another wacky wig and he's singing.
Speaker 5: He's singing like a lounge singer. You don't get to
Speaker 5: be part of that. You don't get to say that
Speaker 5: you're part of the joke. Now, you don't get to
Speaker 5: do that.
Speaker 4: I felt that way about Shatner. Yeah, like everyone loves
Speaker 4: Shatner now, like curmudgeon le old Shatner because everyone at
Speaker 4: certain point, we're going to love you because you're just
Speaker 4: old and haven't died yet. But when Shatner's reframed himself
Speaker 4: as that sort of I'm completely in love with myself
Speaker 4: narcissistic actor, I was like, no, you are that. Fuck you.
Speaker 4: You seemed like a nightmare. Your entire career. You don't
Speaker 4: get to coast on being the nightmare now, you don't
Speaker 4: get to continue your popularity.
Speaker 5: You're not wrong. I will say. He did an album
Speaker 5: with Ben Folds called has Been. This was before he
Speaker 5: really let that part of his persona take over. It's
Speaker 5: have you ever heard it?
Speaker 3: Father?
Speaker 4: B Alone? Has no No, It's Ben Folds or William Shatner.
Speaker 5: It's a very good album, and the reason for that
Speaker 5: is because it actually was kind of a peek behind
Speaker 5: what everybody thought they knew about him. There's a song
Speaker 5: on there he found his wife drowned in the pool
Speaker 5: she had I don't know she led herself.
Speaker 4: I unfortunately heard the nine one one tape.
Speaker 5: There's a song on there where he's actually basically singing
Speaker 5: a song to her. It's called what have You Done?
Speaker 5: It's heavy stuff, it's him grappling with This was two
Speaker 5: thousand and four, so this was already twenty one years ago.
Speaker 5: So even then he was like grappling with the idea
Speaker 5: that I'm old, I don't have very much longer to go.
Speaker 5: What have I done with myself? Who am I? And
Speaker 5: what do I have to say for myself? I thought?
Speaker 5: He since has gone on to refute that and make
Speaker 5: a lot of bullshit, like he did a blues album,
Speaker 5: which is awful, but at the time at least it
Speaker 5: felt refreshed to see him going, you know what, that
Speaker 5: thing that I do, that sort of cover it's all bullshit.
Speaker 5: This is really who I am. I'm a sensitive guy
Speaker 5: who's scared about a lot of stuff. I thought it
Speaker 5: was really brave at the time. No, you're not buying
Speaker 5: it at all.
Speaker 4: Nope, here's what I want to know. How does his
Speaker 4: blues album stack up against Steven Sigalla's blues album.
Speaker 5: It's worse. It's much, much worse. We've talked about this
Speaker 5: on a Noise Junkies album episode. Stephen Sigal is terrible,
Speaker 5: objectively terrible, but at least there's still an element with
Speaker 5: Shatner of I'm trying this, but there's still a wink
Speaker 5: and a smile, like, hey, this is definitely William Shatner
Speaker 5: the character doing a blues album and what that entails.
Speaker 5: And plus he has all these like guest performers come
Speaker 5: in like Slash or whoever else like stuff like that.
Speaker 5: Whereas there's something admirable about Stephen Sigal saying, yeah, this
Speaker 5: is my music. Man, take it or leave it. It's terrible.
Speaker 5: I will leave it, thank you very much. At least
Speaker 5: the guy stands by it without artifice.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'll say again, the music on that on his
Speaker 4: album is good. He's just surrounded himself with a really
Speaker 4: good musicians. We're gonna say that's a bad album. How
Speaker 4: could you?
Speaker 5: He's just he's so hard to take seriously. At least Shatner,
Speaker 5: you know what you're getting, which is this is a
Speaker 5: guy who's he's dined out on his persona for decades
Speaker 5: and that'll never change. Whereas Segal is just predominantly known
Speaker 5: as an asshole who gave up his US citizenship to
Speaker 5: go to Russia. Just a weird guy.
Speaker 4: Fuck that guy. Yeah, he should have been killed by
Speaker 4: a predator.
Speaker 5: He wouldn't let it happen. It would be in his
Speaker 5: contract that he had to beat the predator with his hopketo.
Speaker 5: That's it, the sticky hands, the martial art that he practiced.
Speaker 4: Steven Sage's best movie executive order.
Speaker 5: Is that the one with Kurt Russell.
Speaker 4: Yeah it it is, because he dies twenty minutes into
Speaker 4: the movie. He gets sucked out of the plane's Yeah,
Speaker 4: oh my God, this movie's great.
Speaker 5: So let's let's try to wrap this up. There's not
Speaker 5: much more to say about this that it's very look
Speaker 5: if you can sit through it, it is very interesting
Speaker 5: to see the lengths that he would go to to
Speaker 5: try and rescue his career, and as a cautionary tale alone,
Speaker 5: it's worth visiting. But at the end of the day,
Speaker 5: if we're gonna if the conceit of this series is
Speaker 5: that I hate you because I'm giving you this entertainment
Speaker 5: that can't possibly be entertaining, I guess mission accomplished.
Speaker 4: Then huh, oh my god, such a mission accomplished. And listen, listeners.
Speaker 4: If you consider me your friend and then you go
Speaker 4: watch this based on my recommendation, then you know what
Speaker 4: it's like to have HB hate you.
Speaker 1: Two.
Speaker 5: It can only go up from here, though, father alone,
Speaker 5: it can only get better. I can't imagine it's much worse.
Speaker 4: Than this can't get much like.
Speaker 5: In comparison, the Billy Crystal Show that we reviewed last
Speaker 5: time was like a walk in the park compared to.
Speaker 4: This wildly popular. That episode was Oh yeah, people like
Speaker 4: you hating me? I guess nice.
Speaker 5: They just it's such an interesting idea. The thing is ultimately,
Speaker 5: when you and I do shows like Yaucha FESTP Series
Speaker 5: is like that, we want things to be good, we
Speaker 5: want to be entertained, and we want to pass on
Speaker 5: those good pieces of entertainment to you the listener. So
Speaker 5: it's a unique spin on that to present you with
Speaker 5: things that I'm pretty certain you're going to hate.
Speaker 4: It's odd you fucking knocked it out of the park
Speaker 4: with this one. Mat not only because of the subject matter,
Speaker 4: not only because it was interminable and because I've just
Speaker 4: hated my life, but this one was also so melancholic
Speaker 4: in a way that like it's going to be hard
Speaker 4: to beat. So please, whatever the next thing is, can
Speaker 4: it not involve ultimate tragicy I'll do my best, all right?
Speaker 4: Until then, where can people find you, mister HP?
Speaker 5: All right, on the lighter side of the entertainment spectrum.
Speaker 5: You can can hear me on the Night Mister Walters
Speaker 5: Taxi Podcast, which I co host with Father Malone. Here
Speaker 5: of course, I'm an occasional guest on the Culture Cast
Speaker 5: with Christashu. I host the Noise Junkies music podcast, and
Speaker 5: I have a band campsite hpmusicplace dot bandcamp dot.
Speaker 4: Com as for me. If you're listening on the Patreon page,
Speaker 4: thank you so much. It's probably where you're hearing this first.
Speaker 4: Come on, suckers, get on that Patreon page. You can
Speaker 4: hear this thing weeks early. Check in. Tune in every Monday,
Speaker 4: that's Father Malone's weekly round up where I reviewed the
Speaker 4: latest in streaming and theatrical releases. And every Friday. It
Speaker 4: is a rotating show, a wheel of shows. It's Tell
Speaker 4: Some the Dark Side reviews, and it's also Fusco Fest,
Speaker 4: and it's also Yauca Fest looking at the Predator movie.
Speaker 4: So check us out on.
Speaker 3: All of those.
Speaker 4: And I'm gonna leave you with a bit of music here.
Speaker 4: Who's the singer what I want to be?
Speaker 1: Can you wrap?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 5: What's that going about?
Speaker 4: Put me one time?
Speaker 8: You know?
Speaker 5: And won't you say?
Speaker 4: At the party?
Speaker 2: Jamming on the one can and jamming on the one
Speaker 2: Yemen on.
Speaker 3: The baby cannon on the one baby baby Lady lay
Speaker 3: be