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<v Speaker 1>This is section thirty nine of The Gilded Age. This

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<v Speaker 1>LibriVox recording is in the public domain. The Gilded Age,

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<v Speaker 1>A Tailor to Day by Mark Twain and C. D. Warner,

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<v Speaker 1>Chapter thirty nine. Colonel Selby had just come to Washington

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<v Speaker 1>and taken lodgings in Georgetown. His business was to get

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<v Speaker 1>pay for some cotton that was destroyed during the war.

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<v Speaker 1>There were many others in Washington on the same errand

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<v Speaker 1>some of them with claims as difficult to establish as his.

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<v Speaker 1>A concert of action was necessary, and he was not

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<v Speaker 1>therefore at all surprise to receive the note from a

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<v Speaker 1>lady asking him to call at Senator Dilworthy's at a

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<v Speaker 1>little after three on Wednesday. He rang the bell of

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<v Speaker 1>the Senator's residence. It was a handsome mansion on the

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<v Speaker 1>square opposite the President's house. The owner must be a

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<v Speaker 1>man of great wealth, the colonel thought, perhaps, who knows,

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<v Speaker 1>said he with a smile. He may have got some

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<v Speaker 1>of my cotton in exchange for salt and quinine after

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<v Speaker 1>the capture of New Orleans. As this thought passed through

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<v Speaker 1>his mind, he was looking at the remarkable figure of

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<v Speaker 1>the Hero of New Orleans holding itself by main strength

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<v Speaker 1>from sliding off the back of the rearing bronze horse

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<v Speaker 1>and lifting its hat in the manner of one who

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<v Speaker 1>acknowledges the playing of that martial air. See the conquering

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<v Speaker 1>hero comes gad, said the colonel to himself. Old Hickory

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<v Speaker 1>ought to get down and give his seat to General Sutler,

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<v Speaker 1>but they'd have to tie him on. Laura was in

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<v Speaker 1>the drawing room. She heard the bell, She heard the

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<v Speaker 1>steps in the hall, and the emphatic thud of the

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<v Speaker 1>supporting cane. She had risen from her chair and was

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<v Speaker 1>leaning against the piano, pressing her left hand against the

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<v Speaker 1>violent beating of her heart. The door opened and the

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<v Speaker 1>Colonel entered, standing in the full light of the opposite window.

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<v Speaker 1>Laura was more in the shadow and stood for an instant,

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<v Speaker 1>long enough for the Colonel to make the inward observation

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<v Speaker 1>that she was a magnificent woman. Then advanced a step,

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<v Speaker 1>Colonel Selby, is it not? The colonel staggered back, caught

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<v Speaker 1>himself by a chair, and turned toward her a look

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<v Speaker 1>of terror. Laura, my god, yes, your wife. Oh no,

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<v Speaker 1>it can't be. How came you here? I thought you

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<v Speaker 1>were You thought I was dead? You thought you were

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<v Speaker 1>rid of me. Not so long as you live, Colonel Selby,

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<v Speaker 1>Not so long as you live. Laura, in her passion,

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<v Speaker 1>was hurried on to say, no man had ever accused

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<v Speaker 1>Colonel Selby of cowardice. But he was a coward before

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<v Speaker 1>this woman. Maybe he was not the man he once was.

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<v Speaker 1>Where was his coolness? Where was his sneering, imperturbable manner

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<v Speaker 1>with which he could have met and would have met,

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<v Speaker 1>any woman he had wronged if he had only been forewarned?

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<v Speaker 1>He felt now that he must temporize, that he must

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<v Speaker 1>gain time. There was danger in Laura's tone, there was

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<v Speaker 1>something frightful in her calmness. Her set eyes seemed to

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<v Speaker 1>devour him. You have ruined my life, she said. And

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<v Speaker 1>I was so young, so ignorant, and loved you, so

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<v Speaker 1>you betrayed me and left me, mocking me and trampling

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<v Speaker 1>me into the dust, a soiled cast off. You might

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<v Speaker 1>better have killed me, then, then I should not have

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<v Speaker 1>hated you, Laura, said the colonel, nerving himself but still

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<v Speaker 1>pale and speaking appealingly. Don't say that reproach me. I

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<v Speaker 1>deserve it. I was a scoundrel, I was everything monstrous,

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<v Speaker 1>But your beauty made me crazy. You are right, I

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<v Speaker 1>was a brute in leaving you as I did. But

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<v Speaker 1>what could I do? I was married, and and your

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<v Speaker 1>wife still lives, asked Laura, bending a little forward in

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<v Speaker 1>her eagerness. The colonel noticed the action, and he almost

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<v Speaker 1>said no, but he thought of the folly of attempting concealment. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>she is here. What little color had wandered back into

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<v Speaker 1>Laura's face forsook it again. Her heart stood still, her

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<v Speaker 1>strength seemed going from her limbs, her last hope was gone.

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<v Speaker 1>The room swam before her for a moment, and the

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<v Speaker 1>colonel stepped towards her, but she waved him back as

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<v Speaker 1>hot anger again coursed through her veins, and said, and

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<v Speaker 1>you dare come with her here and tell me of

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<v Speaker 1>it here, and mock me with it. And you think

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<v Speaker 1>I will have it, George, You think I will let

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<v Speaker 1>you live with that woman. You think I am as

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<v Speaker 1>powerless as that day I fell dead at your feet,

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<v Speaker 1>she raged. Now she was in a tempest of excitement,

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<v Speaker 1>and she advanced towards him with a threatening mien. She

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<v Speaker 1>would kill him if she could, thought the colonel. But

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<v Speaker 1>he thought at the same moment how beautiful she is,

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<v Speaker 1>He had recovered his head. Now she was lovely when

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<v Speaker 1>he knew her, then, a simple country girl. Now she

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<v Speaker 1>was dazzling in the fullness of her ripe womanhood, a

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<v Speaker 1>superb creature, with all the fascination that a woman of

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<v Speaker 1>the world has. For such a man as Colonel Selby,

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<v Speaker 1>nothing of this was lost on him. He stepped quickly

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<v Speaker 1>to her, crasped both her hands in his, and said, Laura,

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<v Speaker 1>stop think. Suppose I loved you, yet suppose I hated

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<v Speaker 1>my fate. What can I do? I am broken by

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<v Speaker 1>the war. I have lost everything almost I had as

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<v Speaker 1>lief be dead and done with it. The colonel spoke

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<v Speaker 1>with a low, remembered voice that thrilled through Laura. He

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<v Speaker 1>was looking into her eyes as he had looked in

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<v Speaker 1>those old days when no birds of all those that

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<v Speaker 1>sang in the groves where they walked, sang a note

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<v Speaker 1>of warning. He was wounded, he had been punished. Her

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<v Speaker 1>strength forsook her with her rage, and she sank upon

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<v Speaker 1>a chair, sobbing. Oh my God, I thought I hated him.

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<v Speaker 1>The colonel knelt beside her. He took her hand, and

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<v Speaker 1>she let him keep it. She looked down into his

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<v Speaker 1>face with a pitiable tenderness, and said, in a weak voice,

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<v Speaker 1>and do you love me a little? The colonel vowed

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<v Speaker 1>and protested. He kissed her hand and her lips. He

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<v Speaker 1>swore his false soul into perdition. She wanted love, this

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<v Speaker 1>woman was not her love for George Selby deeper than

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<v Speaker 1>any other woman's could be. Had she not a right

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<v Speaker 1>to him? Did he not belong to her by virtue

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<v Speaker 1>of her overmastering passion his wife? She was not his

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<v Speaker 1>wife except by the law. She could not be. Even

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<v Speaker 1>with the law, she could have no right to stand

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<v Speaker 1>between two souls that were one. It was an infamous

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<v Speaker 1>condition in society that George should be tied to her.

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<v Speaker 1>Laura thought this, believed it because she desired to believe it.

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<v Speaker 1>She came to it as an original proposition, founded on

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<v Speaker 1>the requirements of her own nature. She may have heard,

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<v Speaker 1>doubtless she had similar theories that were prevalent at that day,

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<v Speaker 1>theories of the tyranny of marriage and of the freedom

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<v Speaker 1>of marriage. She had even heard women lecturers say that

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<v Speaker 1>marriage should only can continue so long as it pleased

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<v Speaker 1>either party to it, for a year, or a month

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<v Speaker 1>or a day. She had not given much heed to this,

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<v Speaker 1>but she saw its justice now in a dash of

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<v Speaker 1>revealing desire. It must be right. God would not have

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<v Speaker 1>permitted her to love George Selby as she did, and

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<v Speaker 1>him to love her if it was right for society

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<v Speaker 1>to raise up a barrier between them. He belonged to her,

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<v Speaker 1>had he not confessed it himself. Not even the religious

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<v Speaker 1>atmosphere of Senator Dilworthy's house had been sufficient to instill

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<v Speaker 1>into Laura that deep Christian principle which had been somehow

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<v Speaker 1>omitted in her training. Indeed, in that very house, had

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<v Speaker 1>she not heard women prominent before the country and besieging

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<v Speaker 1>Congress utter sentiments that fully justified the course she was

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<v Speaker 1>marking out for herself. They were seated now, side by side,

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<v Speaker 1>talking with more calmness. Laura was happy, or thought she was.

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<v Speaker 1>But it was that feverish sort of happiness which is

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<v Speaker 1>snatched out of the black shadow of falsehood, and is

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<v Speaker 1>at the moment recognized as fleeting and perilous and indulged tremblingly.

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<v Speaker 1>She loved, She was loved that his happiness, certainly, and

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<v Speaker 1>the black passed, and the troubled present and the uncertain

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<v Speaker 1>future could not snatch that from her? What did they

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<v Speaker 1>say as they sat there? What nothings do people usually

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<v Speaker 1>say in such circumstances, even if they are threescore and ten?

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<v Speaker 1>It was enough for Laura to hear his voice and

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<v Speaker 1>be near him. It was enough for him to be

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<v Speaker 1>near her and avoid committing himself as much as he could.

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<v Speaker 1>Enough for him was the present? Also? Had there not

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<v Speaker 1>always been some way out of such scrapes? And yet

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<v Speaker 1>Laura could not be quite content without prying into tomorrow?

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<v Speaker 1>How could the colonel manage to free himself from his wife?

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<v Speaker 1>Would it be long? Could he not go into some

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<v Speaker 1>state where it would not take much time? He could

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<v Speaker 1>not say exactly that they must think of, that they

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<v Speaker 1>must talk over, and so on? Did this seem like

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<v Speaker 1>a damnable plot to Laura against the life maybe of

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<v Speaker 1>a sister, a woman like herself? Probably not. It was

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<v Speaker 1>right that this man should be hers, and there were

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<v Speaker 1>some obstacles in the way, That was all. There are

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<v Speaker 1>as good reasons for bad actions as for good ones,

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<v Speaker 1>to those who commit them. When one has broken the

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<v Speaker 1>tenth commandment, the others are not of much account. Was

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<v Speaker 1>it unnatural therefore, that when George Selby departed, Laura should

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<v Speaker 1>watch him from the window with an almost joyful heart

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<v Speaker 1>as he went down the sunny square. I shall see

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<v Speaker 1>him tomorrow, she said, and the next day and the next.

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<v Speaker 1>He is mine now, damn the woman, said the colonel

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<v Speaker 1>as he picked his way down the steps. Or he added,

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<v Speaker 1>as his thoughts took a new turn. I wish my

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<v Speaker 1>wife was in New Orleans. End of chapter thirty nine.