Speaker 1: From more Cast Connect and aj Benza fame. Uh, he'd
Speaker 1: liked to be walked on a leash and play really
Speaker 1: dirty kinky sex games. Is uh the guy put the
Speaker 1: cock in the peacock network. Okay, bitch, Hey, everybody a
Speaker 1: J Benzi here with fame is a bitch. This is
Speaker 1: your daily Unfiltered podcast for February twenty six, twenty twenty five.
Speaker 1: Oh two two six two two five. Sorry about yesterday,
Speaker 1: screw up on the date. I don't know why I
Speaker 1: was so confused about was that Monday show or Tuesday show?
Speaker 1: It was Tuesdays. I think I said Monday at the end.
Speaker 1: But you're obviously gotten about five hours ago. So we're
Speaker 1: back on point.
Speaker 2: Boy, if I see any more videos and hear conversations
Speaker 2: about Elon Musk and this woman that has the baby
Speaker 2: who's coming after him and Grimes getting all pissed off
Speaker 2: that one son that you have with them needs a
Speaker 2: medical crisis being taken care of it.
Speaker 1: He has thirteen babies, they'll probably have twenty. He probably will.
Speaker 1: He's a very as brilliant as he is. He's a
Speaker 1: very weird guy, as we know, but he's promisculous. I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't know how the time for all this stuff.
Speaker 1: I mean, think about the jobs and the companies he runs,
Speaker 1: still is the time to knock up these women. I
Speaker 1: don't doesn't take away from the fact that what he's
Speaker 1: doing to all these agencies with DOE is amazing in
Speaker 1: the sense that I mean, let's just be honest about this.
Speaker 1: What we're seeing, all these billions of dollars going to
Speaker 1: different countries, different ridiculous, ridiculous pockets for people to just
Speaker 1: take money and launder it or take it, just take it.
Speaker 1: We're finding out maybe I think three different senators might
Speaker 1: have taken twenty million dollars from USAID. It's the biggest
Speaker 1: scandal that's ever been perpetrated on the American people. And
Speaker 1: I don't know how anybody can stand outside and have
Speaker 1: a placard saying this has to earn. It's got to
Speaker 1: end because you got caught clearly. So you know, he
Speaker 1: can knock up twenty five girls, I don't care. He's
Speaker 1: got the money and the means to make that happen,
Speaker 1: and he keeps doing his best work for America. And
Speaker 1: you know, I just heard someone say this, It's so true.
Speaker 1: There are a lot of countries in Europe who are
Speaker 1: extremely jealous that a man with his intelligence and him
Speaker 1: having the most money in the world works with us,
Speaker 1: works alongside Trump. Other countries would do anything to have
Speaker 1: him help clean up their governments. But that's the way
Speaker 1: it shook out. We got them so obviously, you know,
Speaker 1: thirty one days of Oscars. I'm watching a lot of
Speaker 1: movies like I always do, but lately I've been watching
Speaker 1: The Godfather a lot. I don't know, I just I
Speaker 1: feel like, you know, I'm reading this Jimmy Breslaw book
Speaker 1: like I've been talking about, and it's bringing up all
Speaker 1: the old memories of me being a kid and running
Speaker 1: to the newspaper on Sundays to get his short story.
Speaker 1: You know, Jimmy Bresden was a city columnist. He read
Speaker 1: about murders and cops and crime and just things the
Speaker 1: city wasn't doing right. He was the big protector and
Speaker 1: he had the loudest voice, and I mean that figuratively
Speaker 1: and literally, and just a remarkable person to dictate all
Speaker 1: the things that were happening in New York City. And
Speaker 1: for a very long period of time. Of course, he
Speaker 1: was the guy that got letters from son of Sam
Speaker 1: he had a friggin serial killer was a pen pal.
Speaker 1: That was an amazing time to be alive in New York.
Speaker 1: I mean that one year nineteen seventy seven blackouts in
Speaker 1: New York, Puerto Ricans set up bombs all around Manhattan.
Speaker 1: The Yankees getting the World Series again against the Dodgers,
Speaker 1: they rekindled that relationship. We had the big Blackout, As
Speaker 1: I said, Studio fifty four opened David Burke with Summer
Speaker 1: of Sam. It was an amazing summer. And that's when
Speaker 1: Bresln was just somebody I looked up to him, just
Speaker 1: always thought I wanted to be like because I could
Speaker 1: read his stories and he wrote very simple sentences, very
Speaker 1: strong and loud, like I tend to do. Uh, That's
Speaker 1: what can I tell you. I loved his stories and
Speaker 1: what he did on the weekend. Sometimes during the week
Speaker 1: when there wasn't any crime to report or anything scandalous
Speaker 1: to go on, he would have these characters he invented
Speaker 1: that he would write about their travails in the city,
Speaker 1: and these were all you know. He grew up in
Speaker 1: East Harlem around a lot of mafio, So there were
Speaker 1: mafia back then in East Harlem. Uh, specifically East Harlem. Funny,
Speaker 1: that's where Richi Esposito, who wrote the book, is from.
Speaker 1: And he he concocted these characters. One was called Anokio,
Speaker 1: which is an old Italian man with one eye. The
Speaker 1: wolf I Loopo was another way. All these characters, and
Speaker 1: they write these little they were not They weren't short stories.
Speaker 1: There were a thousand words, fifteen hundred words. But you
Speaker 1: get to know these people and they weren't even alive.
Speaker 1: He just invented them. But the oh, he made them
Speaker 1: a part of the fabric of me York City and
Speaker 1: I just couldn't get enough of it. But back in
Speaker 1: that era, the Godfathers came out and it changed everything
Speaker 1: for me, just as much as journalism did. Movies and
Speaker 1: acting came crashing in and I was hooked on both
Speaker 1: things at the same time. So I've been watching godfather
Speaker 1: a lot. I mean I used to leave it on
Speaker 1: TV in my other house, just all day, all night, like,
Speaker 1: just let it run. When it runs out, it'll start
Speaker 1: again on DVD. I just I'll kick the sound down.
Speaker 1: If it was up to a good part, I'd put
Speaker 1: the sound up and watch for ten minutes. I love
Speaker 1: doing that. It's just the best movie ever. I know
Speaker 1: many of you haven't seen it. I'm not gonna sit
Speaker 1: here and chastise you. I don't know how it could be,
Speaker 1: but for God's sake, make that move and see Godfathers
Speaker 1: one and two. Don't see three. Three's a piece of shit,
Speaker 1: like I was gonna say yesterday, but forgot. Eli Wallach
Speaker 1: is in Baby Ball, an old Jewish actor playing a
Speaker 1: Sicilian and Baby Ball, and then of course he's in
Speaker 1: Godfather Free playing in old Italian again, and it looks
Speaker 1: so ridiculous because now when he was young, younger and
Speaker 1: baby Doll, he did have a little bit of a
Speaker 1: Mediterranean look. Not in nineteen whatever the Gold for eighty something,
Speaker 1: he looked like an old Jewish man and he didn't
Speaker 1: have the manners was downright, And of course he made
Speaker 1: that killer Canoli for to give to Michael slip to
Speaker 1: Michael poleone think just so stupid. So but I'm watching
Speaker 1: it a lot, and uh, not to get too political,
Speaker 1: so I promised this show is really fun, but I
Speaker 1: want to make this point. I think what we're watching
Speaker 1: h is very close to what we see when I
Speaker 1: watch The Godfather, and the way the sons in the
Speaker 1: rack with the father, I feel like it's very similar
Speaker 1: to President Trump and his sons. He's got some really
Speaker 1: strong soldiers beside him, including his sons and possibly Baron
Speaker 1: Trump is going to be on there. Really, people don't
Speaker 1: need to test. I mean what, he's already six eight
Speaker 1: sixty nine, whatever he is, he's a giant. And what
Speaker 1: he whispered into Joe Biden's at the inauguration was so cold.
Speaker 1: The lip reader says. He just said to him, it's on.
Speaker 1: And then he walked back to his mom and she said,
Speaker 1: try to be nice, and she smiled at him, and
Speaker 1: he looked back at Biden, who was still looking. Oh
Speaker 1: my god. You could see Biden's Irish smile turned down
Speaker 1: so quickly. Densher's were invisible. He just had a big
Speaker 1: frown on his face. He shook him to his core
Speaker 1: because he finally realized that this trouble ahead, the thing
Speaker 1: about Trump and his sons. I'm gonna tell you there's
Speaker 1: no Fredo in the group. You can make fun snl
Speaker 1: of Eric all you want. He's no Fredo. Trump's got
Speaker 1: two Michaels and one Sonny. Okay, And I'm not sure
Speaker 1: if right now. Baron won't turn into the biggest Michael,
Speaker 1: but I'll give him Sonny right now. Because he's younger
Speaker 1: and scrappier than Donald Jr. I'll make him Michael for now.
Speaker 1: But I love what he did. I know he's a
Speaker 1: giant nowadays, but I still see him as that little
Speaker 1: baby boy, well not a baby, but that young kid
Speaker 1: in twenty fifteen, twenty sixteen. And one of the reasons
Speaker 1: why I got back in touch with the Trump and
Speaker 1: wanted to apologize after that whole dust uff on how
Speaker 1: it's dourned was because I sowed a a twenty twenty
Speaker 1: I think episode of him and his kids, and it
Speaker 1: just suddenly appeared to me, appealed to me that you
Speaker 1: know what, this guy's not a prick to his kids.
Speaker 1: I always thought it was out all night with models
Speaker 1: and you know, going to this place and that place,
Speaker 1: and but you know, his kids were so loving to
Speaker 1: him on that show that I said, I got to
Speaker 1: write this. I got to write the man, this is ridiculous.
Speaker 1: And I wrote him a long letter about he's a
Speaker 1: good man and a good father and I was too
Speaker 1: young and stupid to know that. And you know, he
Speaker 1: accepted the apology, as you guys know, and we all
Speaker 1: were at right now. But he's got he's taught his
Speaker 1: kid's confidence and toughness and even how to get through danger.
Speaker 1: You know, you remember, Don that's a crazy segue. Remember
Speaker 1: dodgeball back in the day. Remember when I remember going
Speaker 1: to gym class in elementary school and climb the ropes
Speaker 1: and gym class working on the rings. That was always
Speaker 1: scary to me. They were very intimidating to go up
Speaker 1: the rope and put tape but your name on it
Speaker 1: on top of the ceiling of the gym. I could
Speaker 1: never do it. I could never get up there. Mister Reeves,
Speaker 1: my old gym teacher, would sit against the stage and
Speaker 1: count his cash. I don't know why he did it.
Speaker 1: He clearly want to be in the gym with us.
Speaker 1: They bark a few orders out, I got that rope,
Speaker 1: Benz Doc, come on, you know, just a real prick
Speaker 1: of a man. But those were intimidating times for a
Speaker 1: lot of us young boys. But I loved gym class.
Speaker 1: When I walked in the gym and see that mister
Speaker 1: Reeves had taken on a bunch of gymnastics equipment but
Speaker 1: threw big wrestling mats over them, and he turned the
Speaker 1: gym into an obstacle course that I loved. And you know,
Speaker 1: we were just we just made tougher that then jumping
Speaker 1: over parallel bars and going up ropes. And I don't
Speaker 1: think you can do that anymore in school. I just don't.
Speaker 1: But speaking of dodgeball, that carried on into the early eighties.
Speaker 1: I mean it went on past that, but in the
Speaker 1: eighties it was big because when I was a camp
Speaker 1: counselor at Driftwood Day Camp, where Jack was a head
Speaker 1: swimming instructor. It's a great camp, eight weeks in the summer,
Speaker 1: filled with mostly Jewish kids, as Long Island camps tend
Speaker 1: to be. I was the counselor of the Barracudas, just
Speaker 1: a messy haired group of thirteen year old boys who
Speaker 1: gave me my first taste of loving to coach kids
Speaker 1: at sports, at girls, at life, at being tough, at
Speaker 1: being funny. I just I like being around boys. And
Speaker 1: I don't mean that in a Michael Jackson sort of way,
Speaker 1: but I love that camaraderie of forming a boy, you know,
Speaker 1: casting him into something strong and smart. But they gave
Speaker 1: me my first taste of loving, that sort of feeling,
Speaker 1: and it's insane to even think this was allowed back then.
Speaker 1: But on some days we take the whole lot of
Speaker 1: them to a local beach for like four hours, and
Speaker 1: each council would drive their group of kids on a
Speaker 1: short school bus. Will I don't even remember ever having
Speaker 1: to prove to any camp administrator that I was a
Speaker 1: good driver or had a license and good standing. I
Speaker 1: looked that was even asked of me. I'm nineteen years old.
Speaker 1: Their kids are thirteen. This is ridiculous, and we were
Speaker 1: on that bus. Oh god. I used to have all
Speaker 1: the boys, you know, tell me which girls they liked,
Speaker 1: and the female Barracuda group, who eathing is cute? Who
Speaker 1: do you like? And they get so red faced. They
Speaker 1: were starting to feel sex cruel, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: They're thirteen. But it was a little more innocent of
Speaker 1: a time back then, although it was more normal. No
Speaker 1: one had cell phones, so everybody had to socialize and
Speaker 1: play and get through life facing people in the eye,
Speaker 1: you know, not texting, not leaving and making you an email.
Speaker 1: Go up and talk to the girl, go up and
Speaker 1: talk to the guy. It just it makes you a
Speaker 1: better person and there was a There was a group
Speaker 1: of girls who had already started to develop in the
Speaker 1: Barracudas group. You know, thirteen year old girls can develop
Speaker 1: quicker obviously the boys do. And they were led by
Speaker 1: a very pretty girl named Rita Kaufman, Jewish girl about
Speaker 1: my age. I was nineteen twenty years old back then,
Speaker 1: and she was short, but she was stacked, and she
Speaker 1: was very shy, and it took me the whole summer
Speaker 1: to get with her. I mean the whole summer, and
Speaker 1: until I did, I used to take this tall Italian
Speaker 1: girl named Rnda into the big walk in freezer as
Speaker 1: we made believe we were, you know, getting juice boxes
Speaker 1: for the kids, the orange juices and all that red
Speaker 1: grape juices, all that shit. There was a big freezer
Speaker 1: that you could open up from the inside. But you know,
Speaker 1: she was so sexy and cute, and we were both young,
Speaker 1: and you know how it is. But whenever she was
Speaker 1: around then on her own, I'd make sure she knew
Speaker 1: that we should probably hit the big freezer. The problem
Speaker 1: was Ronda was dating an older counselor at the camp,
Speaker 1: and not even a good looking guy. I didn't know
Speaker 1: what the hell she saw on. I think he had
Speaker 1: a car or something that was knife forget, But I
Speaker 1: was like, what's this guy do with you? But what
Speaker 1: I used to do, I'd walk up near her wherever
Speaker 1: she was when she was on her own, and I'd
Speaker 1: start to saying, help me, rond, to help help me, Rond,
Speaker 1: to help me round. And she knew where I was
Speaker 1: going to go, so I'd beat it to the freezer
Speaker 1: and wait for her secret knock and I'd let her
Speaker 1: in for about thirty forty five seconds, and we try
Speaker 1: to get away with as much as we could. And
Speaker 1: you know, i'd have my hand on all the good
Speaker 1: places like you did back then. Rushing things couldn't take
Speaker 1: it slow back then. But the kids never knew that.
Speaker 1: But on the bus on the way to the beach,
Speaker 1: some of our talks got pretty dicey with those kids.
Speaker 1: For thirteen year olds, I mean I could tell who
Speaker 1: going to be the Romeo's right way, the heartbreakers, the nerds.
Speaker 1: You could see at that age. I had this kid
Speaker 1: on the squad named Richie Collins. We all called him
Speaker 1: Crash because one day smashed a go cart into a
Speaker 1: wall to show off to a girl. He had a
Speaker 1: crush on, scraped his knees and shit didn't cry. It
Speaker 1: was a big crash too, so you got the name
Speaker 1: Crash Collins. But that day, once we got to the
Speaker 1: actual beach, they would, like I said, twenty two kids
Speaker 1: running in every direction. Naturally, we're not supposed to curse
Speaker 1: in front of the kids or even put our hands
Speaker 1: on that's out. Can't hit the kid. I mean, even
Speaker 1: though it was a different time, you still shouldn't put
Speaker 1: your hands on a kid, right. I don't mean, like
Speaker 1: really hurt them, just like playful put your hands on them,
Speaker 1: like you know, slap fight that kind of shit. But
Speaker 1: that didn't matter to me. That lasted about a week, okay,
Speaker 1: and then it was right back to me being me
Speaker 1: and then knowing that I meant business the way I
Speaker 1: am and the other councils were different. Well too bad,
Speaker 1: you got me. It's more fun. But one time on
Speaker 1: the way back from the beach, they they were all
Speaker 1: on a show high, you know, and we get up
Speaker 1: and down up the seats and they're talking to walking
Speaker 1: across the aisle throwing paint. But there's no seat belts
Speaker 1: on this bus back then, And like I said, I'm
Speaker 1: nineteen or so, and there's six shares younger than I am,
Speaker 1: and their lives were really hands and they were so
Speaker 1: high on sugar. I had to pull over the bus
Speaker 1: and stand up and let them have it. I mean
Speaker 1: I picked out three culprits right away. I told Kyle
Speaker 1: Nobler it was David tennantbaun And and Jimmy Hayman. Never
Speaker 1: forget those kids' faces. That we get back to camp
Speaker 1: the last ten minutes before four o'clock, at three point fifty,
Speaker 1: before you get in that bus, all your parents come
Speaker 1: pick you up. I'm gonna take you three behind the
Speaker 1: cubby room, which roll over their jackets and pants and
Speaker 1: shit the lunch boxes were. And I'm gonna give the
Speaker 1: old what four what's that? I told them We're gonna
Speaker 1: go out back and all three pains and the asses
Speaker 1: are gonna get have a slap fight with me. They
Speaker 1: got real quiet in their seats. I put the bus
Speaker 1: back on, put it in drive, and headed back to
Speaker 1: camp in peace and quiet. Sure enough, it's three fifty.
Speaker 1: I see the kids taking peaks at the clock. Those
Speaker 1: three they stayed together two. So come out to go,
Speaker 1: you three. All the other kids are watching. I get
Speaker 1: on my knees so it's more even. And I give
Speaker 1: them like two minutes a piece to try to hit me,
Speaker 1: and I'm blocking their shots and I'm hitting them lightly
Speaker 1: in the beginning of the chest, in the arms. Then
Speaker 1: I start biffing them, you know, just getting the top
Speaker 1: of their hair, top of their heads, giving like a
Speaker 1: biff recall on the street. Let's come on, I'm just biffing.
Speaker 1: I'm not hitting, gonna hit you. I'm biffing you. That's
Speaker 1: not a hit. That's a biff. Hurts though it doesn't hurt.
Speaker 1: Come here. Eventually they got to love it. Eventually they
Speaker 1: love the rough housing. And some kids would start to
Speaker 1: beg me to have me fight them behind the covey,
Speaker 1: the cuby room. It's just in the way you treat
Speaker 1: a kid. I think boys, some boys can handle that.
Speaker 1: They like that rough housing shit, as long as you
Speaker 1: don't have any meanness to you. And I wasn't worried
Speaker 1: about getting caught, but I did warn them. Look at
Speaker 1: you telling any of your parents. It's gonna get worse.
Speaker 1: It's just gonna goross. I'm taking dodgeball next, and we're
Speaker 1: gonna take your shirts off, and I'm gonna bring the heat.
Speaker 1: So they never switched snitched. I said, they never snitched on,
Speaker 1: which I'm very proud of them. They kept their mouths
Speaker 1: shut all summer. Never got a complaint nowadays with the
Speaker 1: kids did in the little league that I used to see,
Speaker 1: not my kids, but other kids. They snitch on coaches constantly,
Speaker 1: get calls and emails from parents. You know. Jimmy said,
Speaker 1: you grabbed somebody's shirt today. Yeah I did. He didn't Okay,
Speaker 1: he didn't move fast enough. You know whatever. I'm trying
Speaker 1: to line and play. I got an hour to do it.
Speaker 1: The kids are still like a little watered so give
Speaker 1: me your shirt. You're gonna stand here, Frank, Come on, Frank,
Speaker 1: you're here. Kyle. It's no big deal. But some yoga
Speaker 1: moms didn't like it with the little lemons and the
Speaker 1: water cups, the big straws. Jesus Christ. But there's something
Speaker 1: about having a bunch of kids from a rag tag
Speaker 1: union with you. I love it. It's you just used
Speaker 1: to make you feel like a very powerful pie pie,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And I was always the
Speaker 1: guy when I was younger in my neighborhood to get
Speaker 1: all the young kids the neighborhood kids, both boys and girls,
Speaker 1: to play rumbles, tackle football on my lawn stup ball,
Speaker 1: you know. Actually, whenever I got Tracy Dscoli, my next
Speaker 1: door able to play with us, then we could use
Speaker 1: her lawn too, and where our lawns met that was
Speaker 1: the fifty yard line, so to speak, and our driveways
Speaker 1: with the end zone. So we had so many fun
Speaker 1: days every season. My favorite little power back then was
Speaker 1: a little girl named My mother used to watch this
Speaker 1: little girl. She babysit her. Her name was Gail Frizzetta
Speaker 1: and her mother was like head dietitian of all the
Speaker 1: elementary schools. Right. Her name was Regina, and Regina had
Speaker 1: a fake plastic hand on her left hand. Left side.
Speaker 1: Left hand was fake and she'd sling her pocketbook, old
Speaker 1: it and make like you know, she'd do a lot
Speaker 1: of talking with her right hand, so you didn't look
Speaker 1: at the left. But once you saw it, you saw it.
Speaker 1: It was a different skin color. It was like weird
Speaker 1: for a kick to see it, kind of gross and scary.
Speaker 1: But she was nice. And the reason why she'll have
Speaker 1: a hand is because she was born a conjoined twin
Speaker 1: with her twin brother and back in like the late thirties.
Speaker 1: They're drawn at this hand, his right, her left, and
Speaker 1: the thinking was, you know, a man's gonna need the
Speaker 1: right hand as he gets older. A woman, you know,
Speaker 1: she can deal with just having a right hand and
Speaker 1: not having a left hand. Very strange. But obviously the
Speaker 1: hand that he got was in the shape of his
Speaker 1: you know, it was in his hand, so it had
Speaker 1: to be his either way. But they were prepared to
Speaker 1: just go no, the guy gets there, the boy gets hanned.
Speaker 1: It's a different world. Like I said, nice woman had
Speaker 1: a very weird way of speaking, a nervous tick. She
Speaker 1: would always tag on two words at the end of
Speaker 1: almost every sentence. She'd say she hollowed through the other
Speaker 1: she'd hollow through the screen door out front, you know,
Speaker 1: which was always open and anybody could come. And we
Speaker 1: used to call it, I'm gonna come, call for you,
Speaker 1: call for me, it too, call for me at ten o'clock.
Speaker 1: And that just made you ride your bike up to
Speaker 1: the kids porch, the front doors opened, the screen door shut,
Speaker 1: and you yelled through the screen door, ajay you coming out, missus.
Speaker 1: Ben's will call for aj you know. I'd run down
Speaker 1: the stairs and hop on my back and we go play.
Speaker 1: So that doors did open all day, so Regina would
Speaker 1: come to the house hollow through the screen door. Hey lol,
Speaker 1: I'm a little early today. On it? Where's my little
Speaker 1: tom girl? Where's my tom girl? On it? Why? On it? On? It?
Speaker 1: Was dropped at the end of almost every sentence. Also,
Speaker 1: a hell of a day today. You don't want? I
Speaker 1: know what they like in that school? Lily on it? What? So?
Speaker 1: I used to shoot my sister Lorrain a quick look
Speaker 1: because she'd lose it. Because I would imitate Regina every
Speaker 1: Sunday at the dinner table. One day, I had a
Speaker 1: long sleeved shirt on and I had this rubber fake
Speaker 1: hand that I got from I'm gonna go way back here.
Speaker 1: Maybe some of you remember this, remember the Johnson Smith Company.
Speaker 1: It was a mail on a catalog. I remember the
Speaker 1: guy's name because it was my name, Alfred. I think
Speaker 1: his name was Alfred Johnson Smith, right A J. Smith.
Speaker 1: So I always like, oh wow, that's so cool. It
Speaker 1: was that you got like once a year, and they
Speaker 1: sold gag gifts like miniature cameras, invisible ink X ray specs,
Speaker 1: whoop be cushions, fake puke joy buzzers, you know. They
Speaker 1: meant the blue eek was called disappero. It was like
Speaker 1: a look like an Elmo's glue bottle with blue ink
Speaker 1: in it. And you go up to your family and
Speaker 1: shoot the white shirt with this blue blue ink and
Speaker 1: they scream at you, but it disappears. Stupid he made
Speaker 1: that was such a prick, but my mother couldn't stand it.
Speaker 1: I get it every year, Rosie buy from me. So
Speaker 1: I come in the dining room with a fake hand on,
Speaker 1: and I put on one of my mother's handnuts from
Speaker 1: the lunchroom, and I hung her pocket over my arm
Speaker 1: with the fake hand just like Regina. And I walk
Speaker 1: into the dinner and I imitated, oh, hi, Lally on it?
Speaker 1: What do you cuting down to you? Some lasagna on it?
Speaker 1: The whole house would be laughing. My father, for some reason,
Speaker 1: loved this bit. He would sit in the chair and
Speaker 1: hang his head and I can see his body bouncing
Speaker 1: up and down with laughter. He didn't like laugh loud,
Speaker 1: but he was his body would move. So Her daughter,
Speaker 1: Gail was about well, she was three years younger than me,
Speaker 1: and I remember on some of the days she was
Speaker 1: gonna be staying with us for the day. I begged
Speaker 1: my mother, let me stay home. Can I just play
Speaker 1: with Gail today? Can I stay home sick from school? Mom?
Speaker 1: My stomach's upset? Anything? One time I even opened up
Speaker 1: a can of Franken Bean's, threw in the toilet, put
Speaker 1: on my best shaky voice. Mah, I just threw up.
Speaker 1: What what happened? I just threw up? Comes to the bathroom.
Speaker 1: Who the hell gave you franken beans? That's your after school?
Speaker 1: She never fell for it. I put a penny in
Speaker 1: my mouth. I heard that makes you get a fever.
Speaker 1: A penny on your arm pit. I tried, Oh no,
Speaker 1: the thermometa nder your armpit, the penny under your mouth,
Speaker 1: under your tongue. I think it was stupid ideas, but
Speaker 1: they didn't work. But Gale loved playing sports with me
Speaker 1: and being a rough house kid. In fact, when Regina
Speaker 1: would come and get her, she'd hide into the dining
Speaker 1: room table and refused to come out. She'd be sitting
Speaker 1: there with tears in her eyes and leaves in her
Speaker 1: tangled hair because she get tangled from just being tackled
Speaker 1: in the leaves on the front law and playing rumbles
Speaker 1: with us. I mean she's like eight, I'm eleven, she's ten.
Speaker 1: I'm thirteen. But Gail, because of me playing basketball with
Speaker 1: her playing tackle football, she went on to star in
Speaker 1: three sports in high school and got a full right
Speaker 1: to college, where she became a surgeon. Married Indian guy
Speaker 1: also a doctor, which was weird because we had not
Speaker 1: one Indian kind and Westler. I don't know why she
Speaker 1: took up liking guys who looked like that, but she did.
Speaker 1: Actually remember that story I told you about that woman
Speaker 1: who lived down my street who was older than I was,
Speaker 1: and he ended up having that flame. Well, I met her.
Speaker 1: I mean, she's drive by my house every day with
Speaker 1: her daughter in that black was it a black Wincoln
Speaker 1: or Cadillac. No, it was a Cadillac Eldorado black colorado
Speaker 1: red leather in interior. And she was hot shit Jesse,
Speaker 1: and we'd flirt. I mean I just smiled her. Me
Speaker 1: and my friends would smile her, her tongues out. She
Speaker 1: was so sexy. She had to be like twelve, thirteen
Speaker 1: years older than us, maybe twenty and thirty three, something
Speaker 1: like that. Young divorcee. And I met her at Gaie's wedding.
Speaker 1: She was invited and That's how we ended up checking up.
Speaker 1: That's how we ended up having some fun, taking to
Speaker 1: the city, going back to my house when I was divorced.
Speaker 1: It's all intertwined. It's so weird, little towns, little towns.
Speaker 1: So many big things happen in little towns. Anyhow, I love,
Speaker 1: I still do love to be around kids who want
Speaker 1: to learn, who want to play bull who could accept
Speaker 1: and respond to a coach who puts having fun and
Speaker 1: learning and winning on the same level. Actually, I like
Speaker 1: winning more than the other other categories, to be honest,
Speaker 1: I mean all like kids have fun, don't get me wrong,
Speaker 1: they need to learn. But winning, we always try to win.
Speaker 1: We don't just like to have fun today, Let's win.
Speaker 1: Let's fucking win. You know. That was that way with
Speaker 1: that rock going his too many teammates. Nine years of
Speaker 1: little league baseball, basketball, soccer, football, I coached every sport,
Speaker 1: baseball only one year. He didn't like it. It was good,
Speaker 1: but he didn't like it. After a while, I was
Speaker 1: his coach, of course, you know. And I was that
Speaker 1: coach who would sometime curse in the huddle. Can you
Speaker 1: guys do me a fucking favor and block for your
Speaker 1: quarterback Jesus, you know. But they were getting older. They
Speaker 1: can understand him. Mike didn't do it. They were six
Speaker 1: years old, seven or eight. But at thirteen twelve, it's
Speaker 1: time to let them hear a few curse words, you know.
Speaker 1: And my Rocker would smile a little bit and the
Speaker 1: kids would look at like your father's crazy. But then
Speaker 1: they respond. I'd go out in the huddle and I'd
Speaker 1: say nothing. I called him out, I'd say nothing. If
Speaker 1: they're paying like shit, I just let them look at me.
Speaker 1: Time out. They're staring at me. What you tell me? What?
Speaker 1: What are we gonna do? Timeouts to rock coach? Timeouts
Speaker 1: olid a not a time out? You sure? I want
Speaker 1: my moll And then I go, do me a thing.
Speaker 1: Can somebody just fucking play athletically? Make an athletic play,
Speaker 1: just be athletes? Come on, do it now, you know?
Speaker 1: And they responded. They had a good group of kids. Man.
Speaker 1: I used to race them every year and I had
Speaker 1: to go one hundred yards hole enter the field to
Speaker 1: beat them. Last time I won, the boys were twelve.
Speaker 1: I was fifty seven, and the next year I think
Speaker 1: I came in fourth. Rocked Gold the Gonzales twins and
Speaker 1: Mike Romriguez beat me, but you know I made sure
Speaker 1: Rocker heard me yelling behind him. But like I said,
Speaker 1: it wasn't hard to have those slap fights with those
Speaker 1: kids at camp because the camp's owners were never really
Speaker 1: around it. Well that time of the day, they were
Speaker 1: busy because the kids were leaving, parents were arriving. They
Speaker 1: had to put on a good face in the parking lot.
Speaker 1: So you know, Ed Gersh was the owner, big guy,
Speaker 1: former boxer, I believe, busy guy. His daughter Roxanne went there,
Speaker 1: and his son went there, and his mother. I forgot
Speaker 1: the first that Missus Gersh big day drinker, big day drunk.
Speaker 1: You know, they owned the camp and cheats dashed bottles
Speaker 1: in wire trash baskets around the camp and nobody saw them.
Speaker 1: I saw them. You know, people see everything. You know
Speaker 1: what I mean. You think you get away with something
Speaker 1: you're not. You think you're being so sly, but you're not.
Speaker 1: You know who else is throwing those bottles? And she
Speaker 1: was the only crazy person that can't right. It wasn't
Speaker 1: the kids, It wasn't the counselors. Missus Gersh. But you
Speaker 1: know I remember seeing those bottles and thinking what a
Speaker 1: weirdo who drinks during a day like that? You know,
Speaker 1: but Dan, life has a way of playing a trick
Speaker 1: on you. You know, you live long enough and you can
Speaker 1: sometimes do the exact same stupid shit you thought other
Speaker 1: people are crazy for that you end up doing and
Speaker 1: you go, how the hell did I get here? It's
Speaker 1: like when I had this girlfriend, young girlfriend, who she
Speaker 1: would like to get up in the morning in bed
Speaker 1: and have a hit of a little hit of a
Speaker 1: joint before she started a day, and she was a model,
Speaker 1: and I'd say, what are you doing? You're gonna go
Speaker 1: into a go see or a meeting with red eyes.
Speaker 1: Now they don't get red. I think, just like one hit,
Speaker 1: I go, first thing in the morning, not even a coffee,
Speaker 1: just like it's no big deal. And I'm like, I
Speaker 1: thought it was so gross. And then she'd run and
Speaker 1: wash your hands and brush her teeth and clean herself
Speaker 1: up to be next to me again. And you know,
Speaker 1: years past, what am I doing in the morning, first
Speaker 1: day in the morning, I'm finishing last night's drink. I'm
Speaker 1: doing a bump of cold because I got a gap.
Speaker 1: Like just you live long enough and you walk in
Speaker 1: someone else's shoes, you know, so you can't condemn anybody
Speaker 1: until you walk a mile on their shoes. But unbelievable.
Speaker 1: So they were like, it was like a week left
Speaker 1: to camp that year, and all of us counselors really
Speaker 1: only made money if you got nice tips from the
Speaker 1: parents at the end of the first four weeks and
Speaker 1: the end of the second four weeks. Right to pay
Speaker 1: with ship. That's not why you become a counselor. You
Speaker 1: become a counselor you want to be around kids, you
Speaker 1: want to be outside, you want to you're young, you
Speaker 1: want to have fun. And sometimes I playfully but sort
Speaker 1: of honestly say to a kid, Hey, dylaner, your mom
Speaker 1: better put a nice tip in my hand. Next week,
Speaker 1: you better talk to her. Shit like that, right, And
Speaker 1: some of the kids who may be he knew that
Speaker 1: their parents were a little tight. They would walk on
Speaker 1: egg shows. They were like, if if she doesn't coach,
Speaker 1: don't get mad at me. Listen, wet'll see what you Listen,
Speaker 1: it's ode of my hands. Just tell her. You could
Speaker 1: know your mother, Tell your mother he should get a tip.
Speaker 1: All these kids are getting so nervous. So me and
Speaker 1: the a few of the other countslors. There were three
Speaker 1: of us. We each had about twenty kids. We arranged
Speaker 1: this dodgeball game where the kids were told, take your
Speaker 1: shirts off, and I tell him loud and clear, you
Speaker 1: got three days to tell your mom and dad to
Speaker 1: take care of us counselors. That's it, and we start
Speaker 1: the game. They were across the tennis court or ted
Speaker 1: the ball courts, and three counsels, twenty two kids, three balls.
Speaker 1: We got the balls and we start chucking balls them,
Speaker 1: kind of softly at first to get them to have
Speaker 1: some fun. Then it got hardcore and we knew the
Speaker 1: kids that weren't gonna tip. We could tell someone admitted
Speaker 1: to us, my mom didn't tip last year, tip this year,
Speaker 1: So we had to just send him a little message.
Speaker 1: I know it sounds like sounds brutal, but believe me,
Speaker 1: they were all laughing about it right now. No one's hurt,
Speaker 1: got a red mark on their back or stomach. It's
Speaker 1: that right. One of my buddies, I forget his name,
Speaker 1: would love the ball real high in the air and
Speaker 1: kids that young thing, Oh, I'm just gonna catch this
Speaker 1: ball and cous is gonna be.
Speaker 3: Out, But I would then I would then deliver such
Speaker 3: a heater at the kids back and boom, I'd leave,
Speaker 3: you know, a red sized dog and of those red
Speaker 3: dodge balls in the gym.
Speaker 1: When you were kids, those marks they left you got
Speaker 1: hit in the back. Oh, they were brutal. Kids were destroyed.
Speaker 1: And before them home, they put their shirts on, told
Speaker 1: their parents nothing. As they walked into the buses. We'd say,
Speaker 1: remember tips, tips, It's not easy taking care of your monsters.
Speaker 1: Why do you think your parents drop you over with
Speaker 1: us tips tips? You know they got me back though,
Speaker 1: these little bastards. A couple of nights before camp there
Speaker 1: was this big end of the year outdoors sleep over
Speaker 1: under the stars kind of thing. Right. It was always warm,
Speaker 1: never rained. That there was some beautiful summers Low Island
Speaker 1: summers and big beautiful campground like I figured out of
Speaker 1: the acres probably probably sixty acres gigantic. I used to
Speaker 1: mold a law in the spring a hand pushed mower,
Speaker 1: not to sit down mower. That was my spring job
Speaker 1: before camp started. Yikes, but they got me back. So
Speaker 1: we're at this sleep of a party and the campus
Speaker 1: had sleeping bags, pillows and blankets. They slept on a
Speaker 1: tennis courts, which were kind of warm still for the
Speaker 1: sun basketball courts. Counselors have to sleep over two of course,
Speaker 1: and it was about that time, ten o'clock or so.
Speaker 1: The kids all have to be in bed and going
Speaker 1: to sleep. I know Ronda was gonna be with her boyfriend,
Speaker 1: the other guy, whatever the hell's name was, So she
Speaker 1: was out, but I'm looking around. I gotta, you know,
Speaker 1: I gotta go. I gotta try to get Rita. I
Speaker 1: got it the last couple of days I have, you know.
Speaker 1: And of course that was the night when I worked
Speaker 1: up the nerve to kind of walk over with Rita's
Speaker 1: sleeping beg to see if she had any you know,
Speaker 1: time to talk, hanging out and have some fun. There
Speaker 1: was no alcohol, nothing like that, just innocent fun and
Speaker 1: uh like twenty five yards off from the kids and
Speaker 1: her sleeping bag. I'm like on the grass and you know,
Speaker 1: I'm an elbow talking to her and the kids just sleeping,
Speaker 1: and you know, one thing leads to another. Eventually I'm
Speaker 1: inside the sleeping bag and inside Rita. Right, And it
Speaker 1: was quick. It was a quick and quiet tumble. We
Speaker 1: both fell asleep. It was late when we actually did it.
Speaker 1: It was like probably two three o'clock. We talked a
Speaker 1: long time before we fell asleep, and before we did
Speaker 1: it woke up. Birds are chirping, and about twenty Barracuda
Speaker 1: campers are pointing in us, laughing, and I was I
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, the count, the camp count,
Speaker 1: the camp people can't find out about this. It was
Speaker 1: my last year there anyhow, but I didn't want to
Speaker 1: get Jack in barrass right. You know, it made me
Speaker 1: so happy. All the kids, most of the kids will
Speaker 1: go ooh, you know a Jane Rita, you know. But
Speaker 1: Crash Collins gave me a high five, and he goes,
Speaker 1: I thought you'd liked Rhonda. I said, I know about Rohnda,
Speaker 1: you know. He goes, I see you with her, coach
Speaker 1: you do yeah, great times man. And then get this
Speaker 1: several years later, I'm writ in high school sports for
Speaker 1: Newsday and I see a really good kid on the court.
Speaker 1: They'd on names in the back of the jerseys. They're
Speaker 1: a little older now, they got a little facial hair.
Speaker 1: He's a varsity basketball player for Huntington High School, same
Speaker 1: town that camp was in. And as I get close,
Speaker 1: I look and I go at Collins Crash and he
Speaker 1: turns around and his eyes lit up, just like what
Speaker 1: happened last month with Rocos game when one of the
Speaker 1: Gonzales twins I saw on a layup line on playing
Speaker 1: varsity and such a warm embrace coach, coach, you know,
Speaker 1: And it was Collins. He came out, he filled out,
Speaker 1: he became a strong young man. And I saw his
Speaker 1: father all happy and proud when he introduced us after
Speaker 1: the game. Gave me a good, strong handshake. I saw,
Speaker 1: has a lot of good things say about you had
Speaker 1: a lot of fun those years. That's crazy. A great kid.
Speaker 1: And I don't know, man, I get whispy when I
Speaker 1: think about the seventies. You know, I'll tell you this.
Speaker 1: Mothers are irreplaceable, and I do believe there is no
Speaker 1: stronger love than that of a mother's love. It only
Speaker 1: makes sense. But there's something about boys and their fathers,
Speaker 1: especially when you had a father who raised you to
Speaker 1: be a tough and strong kid. Whether it's me or
Speaker 1: Baron Trump or Crash Collins or Rocco, sometimes there's no
Speaker 1: greater feeling than being on a field with your dad
Speaker 1: and running from his great roar behind you. I'm mey
Speaker 1: J Bens. That was your daily Unfiltered podcast for February
Speaker 1: twenty sixth, twenty twenty five. We'll talk again tomorrow