Speaker 1: There is a lot of chili around cowboys, or about
the lobster. I mean, it's a nice night on the planes.
If you have lobster, I don't know where you got it,
but plenty of beans, though I don't know where you
get the lobster.
Speaker 2: This was the only critique of Sioux Chef Anthony that
I actually agreed with. He thought about all the things
that he could have done.
Speaker 1: It was such a douchebag. I could have done a
hot sauce ball if if.
Speaker 2: If I have my way around, it comes for I
could have done a hot.
Speaker 1: Sauce Bawn would have Welcome aboard another brands thanking an
episode of another below deck podcast. I'm Dylan, that's pat.
Speaker 2: Great to be here. Permission to come aboard?
Speaker 1: Oh sorry, yes, yep, yeah, granted.
Speaker 2: Let's do some housekeeping.
Speaker 1: Housekeeping Traders Patreon dot com, slash another podcast, network feed.
This one will be changing soon. It will go to
bad TV. You don't need to do anything. It's just
going to be called bad TV instead of another below
deck podcast. It'll but the same music for the shows.
Speaker 2: Everything nothing changes.
Speaker 1: You don't need to do it still be your same.
Another below deck podcast, and.
Speaker 2: They're probably asking why business decision. Our people told us
you can't do two feeds where you're telling people to
go listen to your very popular show.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're like, we're trying to sell pot stuff into
your shows. We're trying to get you guys all smacked
up on Vaya and stuff like that, and we need
you guys to have one feed. So we said okay,
uh okay. So also, good luck to everybody out there.
Speaker 2: I want to say this as well, bad TV. When
this feed gets changed over, we are welcoming you into
that new Essentially, it's just new artwork, bad TV, different
name for the show we're going to be doing, Love
is Blind. Yeah, if we're free on this feet, it's.
Speaker 1: Gonna be our hub for all reality. You like below deck, stay,
you like other things, click them, just just press on them.
That's it.
Speaker 2: Okay, I want to get in our thoughts.
Speaker 1: Yeah, how are you doing?
Speaker 2: I'm doing great.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're doing a lot better.
Speaker 2: Huh Yeah, I'm doing a lot better.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Patty was having a great day yesterday and e
or day.
Speaker 2: But well I saw a picture of myself. When you
haven't seen what you look like for a while, and
then you see you got a double chin kicking there
and you look gross. I felt bad about myself.
Speaker 1: Well, you have body this morphia, that's true. Lots of
other psychological wounds and maladies, don't we all. But you
got your units this morning.
Speaker 2: I got botox. I lost seven pounds in five days.
That's unhealthy. I feel great. I've never felt.
Speaker 1: Okay. So we're here to talk about below deck. The
below deck we're talking about. That we're here to talk
about is below deck. Damn, I gotta say it is
firing on all cylinders. I'm gonna give my pots right now.
Please do the soux chef, thank you so much, Thank
you bravo for hiring such a massive douchebag. We need
a hate rag and he is here to be wrong.
Cannot fucking stand this kid there.
Speaker 2: Chef's a trust I say. He reminds me a little
bit of you.
Speaker 1: Kitchens attract a lot of these type a pretty boys
who like used to go in the military, but now
they're like in kitchens, right because they're trying to ride
that rush of the line and then doing coke and
having sex with women after, you know, So it's still
like filled with scumbag pretty boys like this. He just
fits that mold perfectly. He's such a dick. He is
constantly talking about teamwork. Meanwhile, he remind you know what,
These two remind me of Danielle and Carolyn on The Traders.
These two hate each other, but Serena is trying to
be nice to him. He's backstabbing her. Not a fan great,
just the cast is. I'm excited to get to the
first night out, but this first charter was really promising.
I'm like, I'm liking this show.
Speaker 2: I'm like that, I'm glad you're very positive about it.
Oh no, I am as well. Oh you know last
season was such a disaster with sailing. Yeah that I
can't help but think possibly I'm loving this so much
because that was so bad.
Speaker 1: Sure, it's like being let out into the yard if
you're in prison. That's right, you're still arrested.
Speaker 2: I love this season. The casting is amazing. I feel
like I'm watching a different show, Like nothing's been reinvigorated
into Like it's like gotten a second bolt of like
like life to it it did.
Speaker 1: It feels like a regular season of Below Deck, but
with more of a production commitment.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just really good. I mean, I love the cast.
They're all likable. I'll even say sue Chef Anthony, I
like him too, even though he's a quite the weirdo.
The walls are definitely talking to him. Oh it's my wife,
that's okay.
Speaker 1: Uh, he's gonna be.
Speaker 2: Because I called her. I was gonna ask her if
she still had that reservation for sushi Hu's who had five? Uh,
He's gonna be a thorn in Zarena's side. The drama
so far is all in the k in the galley,
and I love it. That's been a missing element of
the show. We always have the chiefs to fighting with
the fucking douchebag chef, and that's been a trope for years.
Speaker 1: I think they're they're gonna find something after this season.
I think Chef's mandatory.
Speaker 2: Yes, well, you need a bigger kitchen for that, so
this boat fits that.
Speaker 1: What are you gonna get at sushi is Yeah.
Speaker 2: We always get this thing called the Uzoo roll, and
then we do miso soup and and then my wife
always fights me when I want to get a California role,
just because I'm that shoogy. But it's good there. I
think that's about it.
Speaker 1: What's in the Uzoo role, Alvocado.
Speaker 2: Shrimp tuna, and then Mayonnai's thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah it's pretty good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then we also like the what do you
like those fried onions.
Speaker 1: Over a little bit of a Alba core.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's great.
Speaker 1: Oh fantastic.
Speaker 2: All right, I love this season so far. Thank you
so much. I enjoy watching this show now. I'm gonna
give it ninety knots.
Speaker 1: That's a great score of Patty can't find my I'll
tell you.
Speaker 2: We start the show off with a bunch of meanwhiles. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Not a great episode though.
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, I thought it was a great episode. Oh yeah,
all right, so Anthony asked for more responsibility. Captain hot
Hands still has that rat curl on the back of
his fucking head. Laura continues to cry in the room.
She's having an existential crisis. And then the Charter Gas
are talking about ramming one of those butt plugs into
their assholes. Oh, and then Harry helps Brianna make beds.
Speaker 1: You can be vulnerable with the audience.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll be vulnerable.
Speaker 1: Yeah, an shoved up here.
Speaker 2: Well I've shared it many times.
Speaker 1: Well I did that finger but but yeah, a crylic nail.
It hurt me. Right right, but anything, no.
Speaker 2: You know, and this isn't I'm not being homophobic or anything.
I just personally I don't like it. It hurts, especially
that acrylic nail that broke off in my boy.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I was like, ow, yeah.
Speaker 2: No, I got it.
Speaker 1: It's it's so weird, it's pretty commonplace. I got a
lot of friends that are like, yeah, I'm just throwing
stuff up there all the time. It's like, wow, I
guess I'm a little bit of approved.
Speaker 2: Not me, you know, I'm a simpleton. I just it's
the front of the body is fine with me.
Speaker 1: The front are the best for us.
Speaker 2: But you know, yeah, two each his own though, his
real best life.
Speaker 1: Absolutely.
Speaker 2: I know you probably want to talk about the show.
I want to get to something very important that rat
tail on Captain hot stuff Jason. I have a theory
about it. Huh okay. You know when hot girls do
this thing where they're so frigging hot, they savotage themselves somehow.
Oh yeah, remember of the show Felicity. You're probably too
young to watch it. I think it was JJ Abrams
for ast show. He based it off a girl that
he went to college with.
Speaker 1: It.
Speaker 2: He was very attracted to. I forget the actress's name.
I think Russell, Kerrie Russell, Kerry Russell. After the first season,
very popular show.
Speaker 1: My wife is, uh, have you ever seen The Americans?
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's in that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, oh my god, it's.
Speaker 2: About Russian spies living in America.
Speaker 1: Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: Well anyway, first season Felicity very popular, a couple million
people watching it. Next season she cuts her beautiful locks off. Wow,
so goddamn hot Okay, she had to take herself down.
That's what Captain hot stuff. Jason is doing here. He's
a nine already and he's dying to be an eight.
And that's what that fucking ridiculous curl does. Jason.
Speaker 1: Come on, you're very triggered, triggered, take it easy, okay.
So I pick up with the tension in the in
the galley and Serena is it's a shame to see
her getting rag dolled by the sous chef. And she
is getting ragged dolled by the soux chef because when
these kinds of like he has very he has corporate energy,
like he has the kind of energy that is boardroom shit.
You know, he's that kind of alpha young guy, and
you got to smack that shit down. You cannot have
any kumbah yas with that, because that is not interested
in kumbaya. It is interested in its own supremacy.
Speaker 2: That's true. I think she's trying to ride balance of
being a mentor. And she's also got those goddamn cameras
around filming her, because if they weren't there, she'd probably
say fuck off.
Speaker 1: No, I think she's she's too nice to him, and
she's letting him get the high ground in again, and
it's not I don't think it's gonna turn out. Well,
the sous chef didn't even know. I don't even know
what his name is, Anthony, Anthony, she tells him, extends
an olive branch, would you like to handle the beach picnic?
And this guy goes from I don't have enough to
do to your giving me too much to do like
that and going about it in such a scumbag way.
Speaker 2: Well, we know these walls in these galleys. As a
sea rat, they talk to you. I couldn't tell if
those were the voices in the walls or the voices
in his head, but he is quite a character.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, I mean fucking American history X.
Can you see him in that?
Speaker 2: I could see him in that.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: He suggests they make sandwiches for that beach picnic, and
I was thinking, thank god that was shot down. I
believe that came from top down from Captain Jason.
Speaker 1: He was wondering about and listen, I don't want to
defend the guy at all. He was talking about ficatcio
sandwiches for the crew.
Speaker 2: I think, oh, okay, yeah, oh that's fine.
Speaker 1: Well hot Captain Jason wants the crew eating clean.
Speaker 2: Okay, no breads, no breads, no bread I'll make them sleepy.
Speaker 1: I guess. Yeah. That's like uh Normandy, And one of
the reasons why we got so beat up there was
one because it was a beach invasion at a ridge
high game guns. Yeah, so it's tricky, but people go, uh,
it's a little bit like when Patton Oswald told norm
MacDonald that the worst part about the Bill Cosby thing
was the hypocrisy of it, and he said, no, I
think it was the rape. It's when people talk about
how the people at Normandy they were stuffed the night before.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, you got to feed those young men. Yeah,
did you have you heard this, though I have not.
It makes sense to me from an American perspective.
Speaker 1: It's a fun, little little historical quirk. Not even that
they knew these boys were going to die last meal,
so they gave him a big, big meal before they
went out. Maybe it's just you know what, you know,
what's not here?
Speaker 2: Say, Patton Oswald killed his wife. Watch that documentary. Watch
the textis she's a pull on drug addic and he's
giving her pills from his mother's medicine. Patton Oswald, you're
a piece of shit. Fuck off. I hate that guy
so much.
Speaker 1: No, he didn't kill it. He didn't kill it. He
didn't kill it, all right. Meanwhile, meanwhile Laura's crying. Wait,
day one breakdown, Okay that.
Speaker 2: There's something very big going on here. You think she's
just crying because she's a perfectionist. She's actually crying because
she's asking herself, where did it all go wrong? One
day she was a fresh eyed twenty year old with
big dreams, and now she sleeps in a clause.
Speaker 1: Were the dreams? What were the dreams? Well?
Speaker 2: You know, young people, I don't think they have a
clear path of what they think. But something big and
beautiful is gonna happen in your life? And then next
thing you know, you're working on a boat with an
elevator that doesn't work and cleaning shit off a.
Speaker 1: Toilet for twelve years.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but we're asking yourself how did this happen?
Speaker 1: Right? But also there's another little wrinkle here, and that
gets us into see rat history. Oh. I love that
we've never yelled at before, but I think we should
start yelling at.
Speaker 2: Okay, you know I do the Sea ra At histories.
We got a couple coming up here, Dell. Yeah, Well,
first off, Zorena comes in and attempts to comfort her,
and I thought that was really nice, yes, and then
she tells Laura tells us that she's a perfectionist, and
then we get the sea rat history and uh. And
it's with her dad who had another family, right, and
he seems like he was more attentive to them, which
was troubling to her. And this is classic sea At origin.
Speaker 1: History, right.
Speaker 2: It always has something to do with the dad not
being there, sometimes because he was gotten down in the
street while you were performing a play at school, or
sometimes it's emotionally.
Speaker 1: Not right, you know what I mean. Regardless of what
it to you?
Speaker 2: To me, that's right, Yeah, she's a wonderful person, right right, right, No,
to me, sucks and it's probably because of all that
sad stuff, right, it's very difficult to overcome.
Speaker 1: But well, that was mean.
Speaker 2: I shouldn't have said that about to me.
Speaker 1: You want me to cut it?
Speaker 2: Oh God, I don't know.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, we'll leave it.
Speaker 2: I just I hate her so much.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, no, I wanted to hurt her. No, I get it,
I get it, I get it. But yeah, not having
a dad around is a little bit like the villain
falling in the vat of nuclear waste, right, you know,
or it doesn't even need to be the villain. I mean,
how many people fell in devents of nuclear waste and
they became super powerful?
Speaker 2: You know, it's like toxic avenger.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like clad ninja turtles. Some toxic waste had to
do with them, right yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah. So where does it land on.
Speaker 2: The Oh I'm gonna give this a two.
Speaker 1: No, that's too high, you think?
Speaker 2: So how I meant to say minus two? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Sorry, right, because track, if you're gonna score on the
sea rats ad scale, it's gotta be pretty sad.
Speaker 2: That's right. You don't leave it in.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you know, in my mind, I hate her.
Speaker 2: I hate to me. She's an awful person. Am I
going too hot here? Okay?
Speaker 1: Yeah? You know what? You need to take a chill pill.
You know how you do that?
Speaker 2: Oh? Via?
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Speaker 2: Hey, dyl, you know what, I'm gonna be better the
rest of the show. I just took a Via gummy already.
Now I feel better about myself and regret the horrible
things that I said about that other horrible person.
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Speaker 2: All right, let me tell you about the pile Baia.
It showed up at my house the other day and
it said curated for Patrick. I open up this beautiful box.
I thought it was a science lab like testing kit
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do we go next?
Speaker 2: Well, supplies go to the beach. This is usually the
boring part of the show. This one I get to
put my pencil down. Yeah, they scout out a beautiful
This is just next level vacation. It really feels like
the first couple seasons. I think these charter guests might
have actually paid for this vacation, which is why they
were a little picky. Yeah, I'm so tired of blow
decks subsidizing filthy, yucky normies from Florida or other gross places.
Speaker 1: We had some real gutter folks come on this show,
that's right, and.
Speaker 2: I include the Queen of Versailles. Although I know they
can pay for it, but I bet they got it subsidized.
Speaker 1: God, that was early on it when we were doing this.
She was on the show, and I was like, I
was an angry young man back then, you know, thirty,
and I think I told her to kill herself, like
over and over and over again. That was pretty intense.
She is a bad person, though, you firmly do believe
in snuffing out the light of you know, negative like
really mean, pathological people.
Speaker 2: I'll tell you what, I think. She's a big dummy.
Her husband is a monster. Yeah, he's the one who
said that only poor people lay chicken or something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, stuff like that. Anyway, So the sus chef talks
him up, talks himself up while he's just crushing it
with the barbie, and he commemorates himself on its meticulousness
and his structure that stems from the love of food.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, all right, so dyl I think you might
have fast forward a little bit. That was him doing
his best version of I'm on an episode of Chopped.
Speaker 1: Right, you're so oh, you're passionate about.
Speaker 2: Food and you like bold flavors. And he looks like
he was fucking reading off a teleprompter. I have a
real problem with this young man. I still like him.
He's great television though. But Dell, where I think we
go to next actually is Marianna Marina. Is Marianna Marina Marina.
She chats with a charter guest and then she shares
her life goals.
Speaker 1: Oh that's right, that's right.
Speaker 2: She wants to be a chief studio.
Speaker 1: We get Sea Red history again.
Speaker 2: And we get a second set history of the episode,
and there appears to be a theme in her Sea
Rat history. She came from a poor family. Grammy had
a bum leg which led her to be in a wheelchair,
and her dad took off. She mentions that that's quickly
glossed over. But Graham, he had to work three jobs
in that wheelchair. I don't know what kind of warp
she found. Ah, but uh yeah, running theme here.
Speaker 1: I saw a video the other day of a pickup
basketball game and there's a man in a wheelchair and
somebody passes in the ball and he starts rolling and
this guy turns to camera and he goes like this,
he traveled, he didn't drible once. It's like, I'm fine
if he plays what I mean. Come on. So we
get to this beach picnic. The meat looks great, and
this is does.
Speaker 2: You know I'm asking you? Yeah, yeah it was lamb.
Speaker 1: Huh yeah. You know what, as I get older, I
don't need duck. I don't need lamb. These things are
these little like missiletes around a menu, and it's like,
I'm not going to get sucked into that. I don't
want it. Duck, duck, get out of here with that.
You know what I noticed about this to you have
the Queen of her syn you.
Speaker 2: Duck, it's for poor people. Actually not no, you know,
do you remember chef excuse me, sue, Chef Anthony bitching
about how much work he'd be given for this beach
picnic when you look at the scope of work that
had to that's right. It was a little salad. I
think there's some potatoes to cook, some steaks. Had a
season of steak.
Speaker 1: So meanwhile, meanwhile, Chef hot ass has a little cat
as a little chat with Serena and we go back
in history a bit with her and it's been a bit.
I forgot that Serena had a couple flipouts last season.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, come on, an onion tower, you're expected
to figure that out. I know cooking is your job,
but that seems like that's out of the scope of
she she balked at that. I think we talked about
it when we went out to dinner with her.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was more like a panic attack, go over
it then a baking right, But that kitchen was so small, yes, tiny?
Do you remember that season, Margo? Those are great seasons.
I love Margo, Love Margo. She's a bit of a
drunk but big mistake.
Speaker 2: It happens at the end of the episode. I don't
think that chef sus Chef Anthony understood that the bonding
had too taken place between Zarena and Harry, so to
share that ye talk a little shit.
Speaker 1: No, he's an idiot. He thinks that he's the king
of the world, so he's just going to do that stuff.
We have to get ready for dinner.
Speaker 2: Wow, well I thought we get ready for the submarine.
Speaker 1: Well after lunch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, dinner. We get
ready for dinner pretty much every episode at the twenty
five minute mark, and then we don't see dinner until
the forty minute mark.
Speaker 2: That's correct.
Speaker 1: So anyways, we talk about dinner, it's going to be
cowboys and cowgirls and surf and turf. So naturally we're
going to do chili and lobster. Yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 2: Listen because that's what I think about when I think
about cowboys.
Speaker 1: There is a lot of chili around cowboys.
Speaker 2: Fine, Or about the lobster.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's a nice night on the planes if
you have lobster, I don't know where you got it,
but plenty of beans, though I don't know where you
get the lobster.
Speaker 2: This was the only critique of Sioux chef Anthony that
I actually agreed with. He thought about all the things
that he could have done.
Speaker 1: It was such a douchebag. I could have done a
hot sauce ball if if.
Speaker 2: If I had my way right, it comes for I
could have done a hot sauce ball. That would have
sucked too. That would have sucked.
Speaker 1: Nobody wants your homemade hot sauce. Okay, it's gonna taste
like shit.
Speaker 2: Now one important point, Uh, Marina, who had gone on
that sub excursion fell asleep.
Speaker 1: She's a hard worker, she's got a great adea yet.
Speaker 2: But the charter primary head set at that point, I
want the food at the table.
Speaker 1: At eight o'clock.
Speaker 2: I do not blame her. Later in the episode, when
Laura completely had an issue.
Speaker 1: With this, Yep, Hey, do you remember when those guys
went down there in that machine to look at the
titanicgains I've died.
Speaker 2: I feel so bad that a father and son did that. Really, Yeah,
because the father should have been like, I don't know
how many times they've done this, let's not do it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't really mind it. What are you doing?
I mean, it's like, you got so much goddamn money
that you're like, you know, let's look at the titan
It's like, that's not you can't. You can't see it.
Speaker 2: You can't.
Speaker 1: It's too far down two miles. I don't care how
much money you have. You know, these people think that
the things that are for them are not for them.
I mean, you can't go look at it.
Speaker 2: Well, they didn't deserve to be evaporated, you know what
I mean? And a single no evaporated.
Speaker 1: Yeah. The good news is did it happened so fast?
It was quicker than your brain's pain threshold.
Speaker 2: I I don't know. I bet they know you're very.
Speaker 1: Scary, probably down there, but there wasn't any pain.
Speaker 2: I would you know, I'm scared of you want me too.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't get in this submarine.
Speaker 2: Well, you probably have a Disneyland because that's what it
was a version of.
Speaker 1: I know, but but now I used to do that
when I was younger, and I liked it. But now
I'm much too scared of the world. So I wouldn't
get on that Disneyland ride.
Speaker 2: You know. I am sick of going to Disneyland in
Anaheim and half the rides being worked on. You know,
they've been working on it. So first off it was
the submarine ride at Disneyland. Yeah, and then they changed
it to uh Nemo. Yeah, and then they got rid
of that fucking thing. Yeah, and now they're doing something
else there. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It's like ridiculous and that you know what, even though
I and go on it, even though it's kind of stupid,
that's a great ride. That's a great ride.
Speaker 2: You know what. The best ride is Dumbo Indiana Jones. No, yes, nope,
last ten minutes.
Speaker 1: It's too jerky and the line's too long. And I
also don't like that town over there, that town. Once
you get in that town, people start acting real funky,
people start getting really rude, and there's too many It's
like a bottleneck. And then you go into New Orleans
town and you're just like I, I'm not having a
good time. You know. I don't like that place one bit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I disagree with you. I don't like the Dumbo ride.
It makes me sad?
Speaker 1: What do you mean it makes you sad? Can make
beau joyous? Thing you could post?
Speaker 2: Not at all. Last time I was there, I saw
like thirty five year old women sitting by themselves on
the ride, trying to recapture what it was like when
they were six and their dad was still alive. Really sad.
Maybe I grafted a lot of other stuff on top
of that.
Speaker 1: I don't think any of that was going on. Were
they fat?
Speaker 2: Just so oh?
Speaker 1: Okay, thirty five is not old?
Speaker 2: Oh to me, it is.
Speaker 1: You're so much older than that though. It's like, I
think what happened there is you weren't really in control
of what you were saying, and then you tried to
figure out a way for it to make sense and
you ran into a wall, not to diagnom. The Dumbo
ride is, I'll say it again, the most joy you
can possibly experience, I think, and people go. I climb
Mount Everest and I held my daughter for the first time.
But it's like, okay, you know that you can go
up and down on the Dumbo ride, right, It's like
what you're saying is so stupid. All right. We get
back to the boat. Harry is still macking it up
with Big Red. The Brazilian. Lets the galley know they
want food on the table at eight, but who cares.
We get back to the kitchen and I am back
into my bowel of hatred for sous Chef Serena says
they're going to love the dinner, and he says, I
hope so. And he doesn't say I hope so in
a affirmative or affirming or enthusiastic way.
Speaker 2: Very negative person.
Speaker 1: He's a very negative person. She says, do you want
to come up? And he says no. And when she
says she'll tell them what he made, he says, don't
do that. We're a team. Those two things, you not
wanting to go up with her and you not wanting
your name on the dishes because we're a team. They're
at odds with.
Speaker 2: One of the Well, then he admits to us.
Speaker 1: Right, what the real motivation.
Speaker 2: Is is he's not co signing on this fucking dog
shit right, which they loved the.
Speaker 1: Way they loved, they loved, and it's like, dude, you're
not in a Michelin star restaurant in London. You're on
a boat. We're serving pig shit to Choogie, that's right.
It's like figure it out, man.
Speaker 2: That's why I didn't mind Pizza Rat from that first
season because the first three charters he pulled it off.
He was giving the Choogee people exactly what they deserved,
which was fucking Vegas Fair. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, Cotton Candy.
Speaker 1: We're not here for you to do freaking You're you're
not Thomas Kellen. We're not here to do that shit. Dude.
It's like, get over it. And also it just broke
my heart because Serena is conceding power to him, and
you can't give these guys an inch.
Speaker 2: Hey, Dylan, is perfectionalism a word? No, I just created it.
Speaker 1: Cool. Well, I don't know that it's that cool.
Speaker 2: Perfectionalism because next up, while they're having dinner. Brianna says
she appreciates Lara's perfectionalism.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's a word. Well then I want credit for it.
You don't get the credit. You didn't make it up.
Do you understand that?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I created a word.
Speaker 1: No no, no, no, okay. So the guests want food on
the table at eight pm. Short now. When Laura said Lada,
I know better than the guests, I wanted to throw something,
but she was one hundred percent right. These people they're drunk.
They're like, we wanted a d eight o clock and
then they go and they take a three hour nap
and they have makeup to do. It's like, we're not
putting the food out until you guys are sitting down. Now,
we choreograph, choreograph a little dance, and while the guests
discuss getting ozone shot up their ass, we reveal the talent.
It is Harry and the Gang. And I gotta say,
I thought it was very cute.
Speaker 2: It's cute.
Speaker 1: Thought it was very very food. I'm sorry I didn't
really clock it. My bad, I know, dereliction of duty.
It was Chilian steak and lamb and or Chilean steak
and corn ribs. My least favorite. It's like it's not
changing it at all. I don't want the I don't
want Do you like corn on the cop? No?
Speaker 2: I hate it.
Speaker 1: I don't like stuck gets stuck in your teeth and
corn ribs don't solve that problem. It just it just
makes it a little thing that you have to do.
But a bunch of times not a fan. If you
could make the whole thing edible, then I'd be down.
Speaker 2: I'll tell you what you do. You grind up corn.
It should be slept through a straw. That's how I
enjoy it. Corn chowder. Corn chowder.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you know we I talked about it on
an APS. Just the state of the restaurant world out
in this city. It's awful right now. We got into
it Patreon. But if what a plug? I mean, you
gotta go pay to hear that? Right? What do you
get to walk around with this hole in your heart?
You know? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Very important, episode important.
Speaker 1: We're at this restaurant. This woman gives us uh agua
chi les, right shrimp and then these fried shrimp heads.
She goes, please, you're meant to eat the shrimp pets,
and I go listen, I don't want to eat the
shrimp heads. No, I don't even care if they're fried
to a point where I can eat them all of
the little fucking whiskers, or I don't want to. I
did and I didn't enjoy it. So we head down
for bed. The fish tank is disgusting.
Speaker 2: He's naming the fish now, which is by the way,
in the art of the fish world. Once you name them,
they'll die within like a year.
Speaker 1: You don't name them, bad juju God named them.
Speaker 2: You don't name them?
Speaker 1: What God do they.
Speaker 2: You don't name fish? I'm telling you, all right, we
get them killed.
Speaker 1: Okay, sus Chef is venting the hairbear about Serena being
a pig.
Speaker 2: This is yeah. When they go to bed, and then.
Speaker 1: We get to the next day, next thing. Adair has
some tips for Laura.
Speaker 2: Lad Yeah, I was confused about that.
Speaker 1: I was too. I didn't know what they were talking about.
Get in the comments, let us know what the.
Speaker 2: Dare wanted that there's two hours left on charter. She
didn't want to do so.
Speaker 1: I think she wanted to just strip the sheets, and
Lara was like, no, you make the bed again because
if they have to go in and she's like, but
they're leaving, She's like, this isn't a motel set. I
think I think what it was.
Speaker 2: I think you actually nailed that because and then her
case is she points out that this is not a
hotel chain that's predominantly used for prostitution. I believe she
was referring to Motel six.
Speaker 1: Yeah. You know, I was looking at flying Out a
videographer for the Super Bowl. I looked at hotel rooms,
and my god, I was the thought of, you know,
we're trying to get caught, and the thought of putting
this kid up at the place. I was like, I
can't do it.
Speaker 2: No, not sleep at night. Oh no in your comfy
back God.
Speaker 1: No. Absolutely. So we had a lovely breakfast treffle for
Tata and we head to our docking. The fenders really
worked overtime on this one. Well, it's amazing. Whoever invented
those good jobs?
Speaker 2: Yeah, they saved that fifteen thousand ton boat getting damaged.
Speaker 1: Right, Jason loves running shit into shit.
Speaker 2: Yeah he's good at it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I have to say this team appears greener
than a leprechaun's balls. That's a greatest hit from Captain Lee.
Good job, Captain Lee, and I hope you're doing well
staring at a wall?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Old fuck?
Speaker 1: Why you really don't like that? Guy?
Speaker 2: No, I need therapy.
Speaker 1: Please do not waste expensive minutes at therapy talking about
I will you imagine?
Speaker 2: And I'm doing his voice in the therapy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so what brings you in here? Well? I I
my world is not in tact in color right now.
I'm seeing a lot of muted things and lacking inspiration.
But before we get to any of that, do you.
Speaker 2: Watch show.
Speaker 1: What? Yeah? Take these pills right right? Yeah? What are
we going to talk through that you're making? I don't
know what you're doing. I would recommend a lobotomy, but
they're they're out of fashion. We don't do them anymore.
You're the perfect candidate for it though. All right, So
the guests apart, the primary says the food was exquisite,
and the Sioux is pissed off. That's like, fuck off.
Why are you pissed?
Speaker 2: Why he can do better?
Speaker 1: Why are you mad at that? He's just a young asshole.
So evidently just went great. I mean it was just
a great, great charter.
Speaker 2: And these are people actually not in they did something
great this season. They didn't cast a. What do you
call that one of those like incompetent idiots. Yes, yes,
they did not do that great job. Everyone's good at
what they do for the most part.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think if you like I think you want
to lean. There's a balancing act with the show because
you want chaos. But you also have to know that
they're sea rats.
Speaker 2: Stunt casting was the one I was searching for.
Speaker 1: Stunt casting. You got to know their sea rats. Even
if they're good at their job, there's gonna be drama.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. Just let the real stuff play out.
I crave that, and I feel like I'm being fed
at thank God.
Speaker 1: Because we we've had seasons of your like that girl
who needed a color code everything. I was just thinking
that towards the end of the season, I was like,
I am so tired of this girl losing laundry. Let's
please Jesus Christ. You're right man, where'd it go? So
we get to the docking the meeting, tip meeting? Uh No,
first's a docking meeting. We need to clean up the radio.
Johnny talked too much? That was bad. Serena and Anthony
talk and Serena says that they're.
Speaker 2: Bonding, which is not it could slap is not a thing.
Speaker 1: No, no, no slaps that's not. I mean, you can use
it ironically, but it is quite hugy. But them bonding
is a little bit like waking up in the middle
of the night and your pet snake is measuring you
to kill you. Do not trust this man. He wants
to kill you.
Speaker 2: Yes, he wants to get you fired eventually.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Also, I think we glossed over it. Brianna walks by
we Anne and does a full on Toddler jump and
leg wrap around.
Speaker 1: Really, I, oh my god, I.
Speaker 2: Find I know she's a model and whatnot. Typically not
my taste. I like darker girls.
Speaker 1: I don't know the modeling industry. It's very racist, of course.
Speaker 2: But I did. I oddly find her attractive in a
odd way.
Speaker 1: You love Indians with massive noses, that's right, that's right, right,
So that's you don't see that in the modeling world.
Speaker 2: You're looking at my porn searches.
Speaker 1: No, no, no. I had a friend the other day
say that his I think it was Sam, actually said
that his girlfriend found his uh favorites on porn up
and he blamed it on Russian hackers.
Speaker 2: I mean, we're all to you going to go with it?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Chinese and Russian. This is not thirty one flavors.
This is too pick one?
Speaker 2: Who has you know who?
Speaker 1: I was thinking? Who has favorite on?
Speaker 2: Who takes the time to raid a porn right?
Speaker 1: Twenty one thousand rankings, it's wild. Anyways, let's get to
the tip meeting and let us know your favorites in
the comments Tip Meeting, Pat say.
Speaker 2: It, Uh, you know, I didn't write I know how
twenty grand fifteen forty each good haul.
Speaker 1: It's a good haul. Lara is gonna put it towards
her barn that she's renovating. That's great, that's great.
Speaker 2: That's what you should do. You're sacrificing the quality of
your life for a decade to enjoy the other decade.
Speaker 1: That is called compounding interest. I think that. I think
that's yeah. How could we forget?
Speaker 2: I I forgot completely the disco helmet disco helm? Yeah,
I actually I hated it the first two seasons.
Speaker 1: Now I still hate it. I think it's really dumb.
Speaker 2: It's a passive aggressive way of saying that you fucked
up and you better do better.
Speaker 1: It's a summer camp fun time thing. But we're all
broken adults and see rats here, so this isn't really
gonna take but they have a fun time with it,
and we gets it for Johnny's mistake. This is a
show of Jason saying it doesn't matter if we make mistakes.
It's about leadership here, right. So we then gets the
disco ball and we head out for a night out.
Big Red is a hot commodity.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, Harry, she looked amazing. I mean, whatever the
hell she was wearing that was super hot?
Speaker 1: Okay, uh will I I'm you know what I was
about to do, what I was gonna say, not my hype.
Who gives a fuck what my type is and whether
or not she fits into it?
Speaker 2: I am freaking am I leaning back into the patriarchy. Yeah,
I'm just disgusting me too.
Speaker 1: I've been eating ice cream like it's my job with
my wife, and I have a fucking rat mustache right now.
Who fucking gives it?
Speaker 2: If she's like, so everything that I've said last forty
minutes right now, won't you completely disrebive?
Speaker 1: Throw it out and we'll start again next week.
Speaker 2: And I'm talking about everything that I said. Horrible, Yeah,
cast members.
Speaker 1: Everything.
Speaker 2: Nothing that I said is meaningful to anything.
Speaker 1: Jim downy moment. Here we go it.
Speaker 2: May God have mercy on my soul.
Speaker 1: We sit down to dinner, and we end the episode
with gossips of sous chef and Serena. I hate this kid, hmm,
but he is good TV for now. Let's hope that
we sort this out at about five six episodes in,
or somebody gets fucking fired.
Speaker 2: I think we's on a trailer where someone's punching the
wall getting fired.
Speaker 1: Oh was that Johnny or him?
Speaker 2: I think it was him. I could look back, but
I don't want to. I like the surprise.
Speaker 1: He reminds me of texts that guy texts or whatever.
The fuck.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have to say Johnny wasn't even mentioned a
single time during this episode. He's kind of in that
he seems more likable than the first he does.
Speaker 1: The first episode is awful. Get in the comments, let
us know what you thought about the episode. Let's let's
us all have a great week and go Chiefs or
go congrats Chiefs or congrats Eagles. We don't know who
won because we are Mariah Carey.
Speaker 2: I'm in a bathtob I got rose of.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I forgot to do reviews. We'll do
it next week. See that, I'm done saying goodbye, Pat,
say goodbye.