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Speaker 1: Creativity is an addiction, unplugged because we will always say

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yes to creativity, totally uncut because we all make mistakes.

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So turn it into a tool. This is arrow unplugged,

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HET's arrow out on a transition walk.

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Speaker 2: This is d frag asking the questions, questioning the answer.

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Speaker 3: So I do this on the transition.

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Speaker 2: Walk because this is a place of peace, that place

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of transition. We all go through transitions. The problem is

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is that we don't learn from our transitions. We just

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kind of push them aside because we've got places to

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go and we need to be there by such and

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such time. D frag allows me to do exactly that.

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To break it down your computer, d frags, what about

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your mind, your body, your soul? Many, many, many times

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you ignore that fact of putting things where they rightfully

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need to be, choosing instead to do just like anything

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else that you expect, just get it done, Just get

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it done. Asking the questionquestions and questioning the answers, and

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so many times you don't have to agree with the answers,

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but it helps open up your mind, body, and soul

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into accepting.

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Speaker 3: Who you really are. We live in a fake world.

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Speaker 2: Come on, how many selfies do you post that pretty

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much represent a false world, false hope.

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Speaker 3: I'm guilty of it.

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Speaker 2: I put up these interviews, these conversations with people that

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are in music and acting and these book authors. I

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post that stuff on Facebook, and I have to. I

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went through a period there where I questioned it sharply,

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why am I doing this? It makes it look like

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that I'm bragging, when in fact, all I want to

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do is create content to share it, you know, to

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have a conversation with people who may have listened to it.

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Speaker 3: But you know, I don't know how it's received.

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Speaker 2: But in my system of choices, I still believe that

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I should be silent with what I do, and that

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just might be my father doing that. Ask the questions,

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question the answers. We're on a transition walk. It's sixty

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five degrees. The storms hit about an hour ago, the thunder.

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We've got a light rain right now with a lot

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of wind on the way, and if you listen very carefully,

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you're probably gonna hear a lot of those twenty mile

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an hour gus. I've been doing a lot of studying

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lately on human behavior in the way of why is

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it we don't get along with everybody. There's always got

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to be some sort of friction or conflict with someone.

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And the reason why I bring this up is because

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I work an essential job that requires collaboration. We have

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got to work together, we have got to communicate, and

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when it breaks down, the question is what am I

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doing wrong? So now I'm going to question the answer.

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Why is it my fault? Why am I putting the

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blame on me? If there's a breakdown between employees, we

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have to learn how to figure out what is the

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source of this breakdown is taking place? That is dividing

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a situation that needs to be a solid line. Ask

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the questions, question the answers, and the research that I've

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been doing. You're ready for this. This is some hardcore

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truth here. The experts say that if you feel like

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you don't fit in, there's a problem going on, and

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that problem could lead to you being fired or you

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walking away from that job. It is the daily duty

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of every department head to make sure that their team,

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the people they brought together, fit in together. But the

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question is is fitting in the situation or is having

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a problem with a person the situation. The answer to

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that is is that we've got to make a determination here,

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because to me, in my heart, it completely says it's

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two different things. The experts say that fitting in has

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got to be a solid collaboration and that you should

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actually physically prepare yourself to sit down and have meetings

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when you don't feel like you fit in. Some of

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the reasons why people don't fit in they're shy, they're introverts.

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Even Julia Cameron in her book The Artist's Way at

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Work talks about the conference table where there are nine

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different people at that conference table, but none of them

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are the same, and it's usually the silent one, the

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one that's doodling over on the right hand side, the

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one that doesn't want to look at anybody, that comes

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up with some of the greatest answers, do you fit

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in or do you have a conflict with somebody at

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your place of business? And if you do have a conflict,

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somewhere along the line, the experts say, you're going to

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have to create the talk, not one where you're pointing fingers,

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not one where you're going to sit there and say

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it's my way or the highway. You've got to physically

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break things down to the point of understanding each other's

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side of what is happening in this situation of right now.

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Speaker 3: Now, I'm not going to lie to you.

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Speaker 2: I've been called to many HR meetings because I find

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no reason not to have conflict. Maybe it's a fire starter.

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I need that little to get myself going. But yeah,

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in HR meetings they have told me that you went

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too far on that one. You need to think about

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what you're doing before you say the things you do.

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Speaker 3: Okay, that was an answer.

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Speaker 2: Now I have to question the answer because this is

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defrak The answer that I said is that I've got

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to fix the problem by way of watching the way

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that I talk with other people. But my truth has

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always been that if you're not living up to the

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expectations of those that are expecting from me, if you're

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not living up to my expectations, and I'm trying to

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live up to their expectations, I've always felt it was

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my right to say, no, you're pretty far away from

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gaining access to being congratulated.

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Speaker 3: We need to start this project all over again. Well

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what do they do.

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Speaker 2: They run to their department head, who then goes to

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a They then come to me and they say.

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Speaker 3: Dude, you can't do that.

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Speaker 2: And I go, well, your expectations of me versus your

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expectations of them. You want me to lead this team,

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but you don't want me to lead it in the

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way that you're leading me.

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Speaker 3: Okay, So that was an answer. So now I've got

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to question it.

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Speaker 2: I question it by saying, we are all individuals at

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that conference table, the same one that Julia Cameron talks

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about in the.

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Speaker 3: Artist wha at Work.

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Speaker 2: The expectations that someone puts on us as the individual

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are not the same expectations that you put on somebody

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else who's on the team. Therefore, that creates the conflict

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and then you don't feel like you fit in. Oh

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the research I've done on this, I mean, they really

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go into how you can correct this, and really the

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only true answer is that you have got to get

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in there and you've got to communicate. You've got to

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be very real and you and the person that you're

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having a problem with or the areas that you you know.

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Speaker 3: That you're feel week at.

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Speaker 2: It's got to become visible because sitting in an invisible

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world only creates assumption. Now you've got finger pointers. Those

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that are on your team are looking at you, going, well,

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what's your problem? Listen, we were all having a good

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day until you showed up. Here's where I do not

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fit in at my current essential job. I believe in

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the appearance and the image of the business, and that

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first glances will determine if somebody is coming back to

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your business. And if I am surrounded by clutter and

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I see things that don't fit in, I do everything

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humanly possible once I arrive to clean up the situation.

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But others on the team don't see that as being

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a positive. They see it as I'm not doing my job.

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What yeah, they do? They really do? They say, your

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job is this, It's not that.

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Speaker 3: Second.

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Speaker 2: So you're saying that the clutter is acceptable and my

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idea of cleaning things up is unacceptable. Yes, But here's

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the thing that a lot of people don't understand about

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this position is that if I don't clean up this

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area that has been cluttered by those that were there

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before me, guess who has to clean it up seven

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to ten hours later, me? So why not work on

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it throughout the time period that I'm there? Now we

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have conflict. Now you don't feel like you fit in

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because the cool people are doing what they're doing. Now,

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this is not about me. I'm just giving you examples

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and different things that you can think about in your

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own position at your job. Every job anywhere in the world.

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They've got the lazy people and those that like to

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go the extra mile and more. There's always going to

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be a solid line that says they're not the same.

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They're probably not going to get along, but they've got

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to live with each other at least for these hours.

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Is it a conflict or is it that one of

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them doesn't feel like they fit in. The overachiever many

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times will sit there and admit, I don't fit in

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with a group of people that want to do nothing

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but lobby gag. Lobby gag is what Gary Brops at

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one oh four point seven used to say we all

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did when we would go into the lobby and do

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nothing but talk. That general manager Gary he wanted us

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to work. He doesn't like it when people just stand around.

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You're paid to work, and my current bosses are no different.

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But people will find reason to lobby gag. So an

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overachiever likes to stay busy and keep moving, whereas the

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underachiever is having a conversation to the overachiever.

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Speaker 3: What happens is that I know this is going on

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in your own business. I'm not saying anything. It's new

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to you. The overachiever starts feeling like I don't fit in.

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Speaker 2: I gotta go, I gotta get into a different department.

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Or there's a conflict where you go up and you

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make a comming on must be nice to be able

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to get paid for talking. Oh, well you're going to

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hr for that. Yeah, yeah, you're gonna get talked to.

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Or the underachiever makes a comment well I don't want

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to do it. I'm just gonna give it to you.

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Why are you going to give it to me? Well,

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you do it anyway. Oh So what happens is is

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that the way that that filters through the system of

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those that are overachieving at work is that, yeah, we

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usually do do extra things. Sometimes it's just to get

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the nod or the pad on the back from the boss.

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Speaker 3: Other times it's like, hey, look, I believe in success.

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Speaker 2: The only way we're going to get to that moment

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of having a victory is we've got to have some

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hard work, dedication, loyalty. It's got to be there. But

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we're going to have to mess around with people who

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don't see that full picture or the picture that I do,

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which is this isn't about me, This is about who

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are we trying to reach? Who is that person in

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your community? When they come in here, we want to

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give them something they can't get from someplace else. And

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if there's conflict between team players or there are those

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that feel like I just don't fit in, they're going

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to pick up on that quicker than a big sale.

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I understand what decision makers are trying to do. They're

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trying to keep whatever team they've got together. They can't

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figure out why people are not showing up for work,

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and more importantly, when they're at work, they can't figure

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out why they don't want to work, but they're there.

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How do you deal with the oversaturation of so many

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emotions where it seems like everybody on the team doesn't

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feel like they fit in. Back to the experts, they say,

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you've got to have communication. Communication in a modern day

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business is usually this gigantic list of things that need

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to be talked about.

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Speaker 3: They don't openly discuss things, They go right down the list.

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Speaker 2: I used to do that with my interviews when I

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first started podcasting, even when I was doing television, all

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of my interviews were lined up and I had to

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stick to that script. Well, I see that a lot

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when it comes to decision makers and department heads. They've

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got that list, they're making their point. But to me,

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that's not making a point, that's making a command. That's

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not explaining to those why we do what it is

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that we do and how we should do it better,

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not just today but every day. But the idea of

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fitting in has got to have real communication. And you

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know what, do you know what communication involves? Conflict?

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I can listen to you all day, I can do

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everything that you want me to to a t. But

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if I don't get the opportunity to share my side

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of it, then.

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Speaker 3: How do you fix it?

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Speaker 2: Because given off the command from a list isn't fixing

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the situation.

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Speaker 3: You're only letting your team.

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Speaker 2: Be aware of the moment, ask the questions, question the answers,

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and my pet peeve is usually when an assistant manager

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comes over to me and says, hey, lighten up, lighten up,

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man Kevin over there, come on, you know he's not

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good at what he does.

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Speaker 3: Come on, lighten up. You know you know he's not

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going to be greater than what he.

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Speaker 2: Is, and inside of me, I'm questioning that because that's

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what defraggen is all about. And very gently, I'll ask

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to the assistant manager, do you think that I became

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great at what I do because I didn't have a

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mentor or somebody who said, come on, it'll work a

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lot better if you do it this way. I see

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you trying, and I know that you're getting tired and

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your body aches, but come on, you can do better.

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Speaker 3: And yeah, it's going to offend the person that's receiving.

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Speaker 2: It because it's almost like a judgment call conflict.

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Speaker 3: Now they don't fit in tough subject.

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Speaker 2: But the experts are right when they say you've got

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to create the communication. And that's what we're doing here.

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We're just having a conversation. I don't have a list

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in front of me. I've just got a lot of

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rain pouring on me right now inside this forest where

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the winds are gusting, and you happen to be here.

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Speaker 3: I hope I didn't mess up your hair. I'm erol

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and that's Steve frag