Speaker 1: Creativity is an addiction, unplugged because we will always say
yes to creativity, totally uncut because we all make mistakes.
So turn it into a tool. This is arrow unplugged,
HET's arrow out on a transition walk.
Speaker 2: This is d frag asking the questions, questioning the answer.
Speaker 3: So I do this on the transition.
Speaker 2: Walk because this is a place of peace, that place
of transition. We all go through transitions. The problem is
is that we don't learn from our transitions. We just
kind of push them aside because we've got places to
go and we need to be there by such and
such time. D frag allows me to do exactly that.
To break it down your computer, d frags, what about
your mind, your body, your soul? Many, many, many times
you ignore that fact of putting things where they rightfully
need to be, choosing instead to do just like anything
else that you expect, just get it done, Just get
it done. Asking the questionquestions and questioning the answers, and
so many times you don't have to agree with the answers,
but it helps open up your mind, body, and soul
into accepting.
Speaker 3: Who you really are. We live in a fake world.
Speaker 2: Come on, how many selfies do you post that pretty
much represent a false world, false hope.
Speaker 3: I'm guilty of it.
Speaker 2: I put up these interviews, these conversations with people that
are in music and acting and these book authors. I
post that stuff on Facebook, and I have to. I
went through a period there where I questioned it sharply,
why am I doing this? It makes it look like
that I'm bragging, when in fact, all I want to
do is create content to share it, you know, to
have a conversation with people who may have listened to it.
Speaker 3: But you know, I don't know how it's received.
Speaker 2: But in my system of choices, I still believe that
I should be silent with what I do, and that
just might be my father doing that. Ask the questions,
question the answers. We're on a transition walk. It's sixty
five degrees. The storms hit about an hour ago, the thunder.
We've got a light rain right now with a lot
of wind on the way, and if you listen very carefully,
you're probably gonna hear a lot of those twenty mile
an hour gus. I've been doing a lot of studying
lately on human behavior in the way of why is
it we don't get along with everybody. There's always got
to be some sort of friction or conflict with someone.
And the reason why I bring this up is because
I work an essential job that requires collaboration. We have
got to work together, we have got to communicate, and
when it breaks down, the question is what am I
doing wrong? So now I'm going to question the answer.
Why is it my fault? Why am I putting the
blame on me? If there's a breakdown between employees, we
have to learn how to figure out what is the
source of this breakdown is taking place? That is dividing
a situation that needs to be a solid line. Ask
the questions, question the answers, and the research that I've
been doing. You're ready for this. This is some hardcore
truth here. The experts say that if you feel like
you don't fit in, there's a problem going on, and
that problem could lead to you being fired or you
walking away from that job. It is the daily duty
of every department head to make sure that their team,
the people they brought together, fit in together. But the
question is is fitting in the situation or is having
a problem with a person the situation. The answer to
that is is that we've got to make a determination here,
because to me, in my heart, it completely says it's
two different things. The experts say that fitting in has
got to be a solid collaboration and that you should
actually physically prepare yourself to sit down and have meetings
when you don't feel like you fit in. Some of
the reasons why people don't fit in they're shy, they're introverts.
Even Julia Cameron in her book The Artist's Way at
Work talks about the conference table where there are nine
different people at that conference table, but none of them
are the same, and it's usually the silent one, the
one that's doodling over on the right hand side, the
one that doesn't want to look at anybody, that comes
up with some of the greatest answers, do you fit
in or do you have a conflict with somebody at
your place of business? And if you do have a conflict,
somewhere along the line, the experts say, you're going to
have to create the talk, not one where you're pointing fingers,
not one where you're going to sit there and say
it's my way or the highway. You've got to physically
break things down to the point of understanding each other's
side of what is happening in this situation of right now.
Speaker 3: Now, I'm not going to lie to you.
Speaker 2: I've been called to many HR meetings because I find
no reason not to have conflict. Maybe it's a fire starter.
I need that little to get myself going. But yeah,
in HR meetings they have told me that you went
too far on that one. You need to think about
what you're doing before you say the things you do.
Speaker 3: Okay, that was an answer.
Speaker 2: Now I have to question the answer because this is
defrak The answer that I said is that I've got
to fix the problem by way of watching the way
that I talk with other people. But my truth has
always been that if you're not living up to the
expectations of those that are expecting from me, if you're
not living up to my expectations, and I'm trying to
live up to their expectations, I've always felt it was
my right to say, no, you're pretty far away from
gaining access to being congratulated.
Speaker 3: We need to start this project all over again. Well
what do they do.
Speaker 2: They run to their department head, who then goes to
a They then come to me and they say.
Speaker 3: Dude, you can't do that.
Speaker 2: And I go, well, your expectations of me versus your
expectations of them. You want me to lead this team,
but you don't want me to lead it in the
way that you're leading me.
Speaker 3: Okay, So that was an answer. So now I've got
to question it.
Speaker 2: I question it by saying, we are all individuals at
that conference table, the same one that Julia Cameron talks
about in the.
Speaker 3: Artist wha at Work.
Speaker 2: The expectations that someone puts on us as the individual
are not the same expectations that you put on somebody
else who's on the team. Therefore, that creates the conflict
and then you don't feel like you fit in. Oh
the research I've done on this, I mean, they really
go into how you can correct this, and really the
only true answer is that you have got to get
in there and you've got to communicate. You've got to
be very real and you and the person that you're
having a problem with or the areas that you you know.
Speaker 3: That you're feel week at.
Speaker 2: It's got to become visible because sitting in an invisible
world only creates assumption. Now you've got finger pointers. Those
that are on your team are looking at you, going, well,
what's your problem? Listen, we were all having a good
day until you showed up. Here's where I do not
fit in at my current essential job. I believe in
the appearance and the image of the business, and that
first glances will determine if somebody is coming back to
your business. And if I am surrounded by clutter and
I see things that don't fit in, I do everything
humanly possible once I arrive to clean up the situation.
But others on the team don't see that as being
a positive. They see it as I'm not doing my job.
What yeah, they do? They really do? They say, your
job is this, It's not that.
Speaker 3: Second.
Speaker 2: So you're saying that the clutter is acceptable and my
idea of cleaning things up is unacceptable. Yes, But here's
the thing that a lot of people don't understand about
this position is that if I don't clean up this
area that has been cluttered by those that were there
before me, guess who has to clean it up seven
to ten hours later, me? So why not work on
it throughout the time period that I'm there? Now we
have conflict. Now you don't feel like you fit in
because the cool people are doing what they're doing. Now,
this is not about me. I'm just giving you examples
and different things that you can think about in your
own position at your job. Every job anywhere in the world.
They've got the lazy people and those that like to
go the extra mile and more. There's always going to
be a solid line that says they're not the same.
They're probably not going to get along, but they've got
to live with each other at least for these hours.
Is it a conflict or is it that one of
them doesn't feel like they fit in. The overachiever many
times will sit there and admit, I don't fit in
with a group of people that want to do nothing
but lobby gag. Lobby gag is what Gary Brops at
one oh four point seven used to say we all
did when we would go into the lobby and do
nothing but talk. That general manager Gary he wanted us
to work. He doesn't like it when people just stand around.
You're paid to work, and my current bosses are no different.
But people will find reason to lobby gag. So an
overachiever likes to stay busy and keep moving, whereas the
underachiever is having a conversation to the overachiever.
Speaker 3: What happens is that I know this is going on
in your own business. I'm not saying anything. It's new
to you. The overachiever starts feeling like I don't fit in.
Speaker 2: I gotta go, I gotta get into a different department.
Or there's a conflict where you go up and you
make a comming on must be nice to be able
to get paid for talking. Oh, well you're going to
hr for that. Yeah, yeah, you're gonna get talked to.
Or the underachiever makes a comment well I don't want
to do it. I'm just gonna give it to you.
Why are you going to give it to me? Well,
you do it anyway. Oh So what happens is is
that the way that that filters through the system of
those that are overachieving at work is that, yeah, we
usually do do extra things. Sometimes it's just to get
the nod or the pad on the back from the boss.
Speaker 3: Other times it's like, hey, look, I believe in success.
Speaker 2: The only way we're going to get to that moment
of having a victory is we've got to have some
hard work, dedication, loyalty. It's got to be there. But
we're going to have to mess around with people who
don't see that full picture or the picture that I do,
which is this isn't about me, This is about who
are we trying to reach? Who is that person in
your community? When they come in here, we want to
give them something they can't get from someplace else. And
if there's conflict between team players or there are those
that feel like I just don't fit in, they're going
to pick up on that quicker than a big sale.
I understand what decision makers are trying to do. They're
trying to keep whatever team they've got together. They can't
figure out why people are not showing up for work,
and more importantly, when they're at work, they can't figure
out why they don't want to work, but they're there.
How do you deal with the oversaturation of so many
emotions where it seems like everybody on the team doesn't
feel like they fit in. Back to the experts, they say,
you've got to have communication. Communication in a modern day
business is usually this gigantic list of things that need
to be talked about.
Speaker 3: They don't openly discuss things, They go right down the list.
Speaker 2: I used to do that with my interviews when I
first started podcasting, even when I was doing television, all
of my interviews were lined up and I had to
stick to that script. Well, I see that a lot
when it comes to decision makers and department heads. They've
got that list, they're making their point. But to me,
that's not making a point, that's making a command. That's
not explaining to those why we do what it is
that we do and how we should do it better,
not just today but every day. But the idea of
fitting in has got to have real communication. And you
know what, do you know what communication involves? Conflict?
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I can listen to you all day, I can do
everything that you want me to to a t. But
if I don't get the opportunity to share my side
of it, then.
Speaker 3: How do you fix it?
Speaker 2: Because given off the command from a list isn't fixing
the situation.
Speaker 3: You're only letting your team.
Speaker 2: Be aware of the moment, ask the questions, question the answers,
and my pet peeve is usually when an assistant manager
comes over to me and says, hey, lighten up, lighten up,
man Kevin over there, come on, you know he's not
good at what he does.
Speaker 3: Come on, lighten up. You know you know he's not
going to be greater than what he.
Speaker 2: Is, and inside of me, I'm questioning that because that's
what defraggen is all about. And very gently, I'll ask
to the assistant manager, do you think that I became
great at what I do because I didn't have a
mentor or somebody who said, come on, it'll work a
lot better if you do it this way. I see
you trying, and I know that you're getting tired and
your body aches, but come on, you can do better.
Speaker 3: And yeah, it's going to offend the person that's receiving.
Speaker 2: It because it's almost like a judgment call conflict.
Speaker 3: Now they don't fit in tough subject.
Speaker 2: But the experts are right when they say you've got
to create the communication. And that's what we're doing here.
We're just having a conversation. I don't have a list
in front of me. I've just got a lot of
rain pouring on me right now inside this forest where
the winds are gusting, and you happen to be here.
Speaker 3: I hope I didn't mess up your hair. I'm erol
and that's Steve frag