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<v Speaker 1>So my birthday is in a couple of days.

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<v Speaker 2>Where I just say a few days from this recording,

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm tired, you until I'm tired.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm tired. I'm gonna take my hair thing out. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>gonna wash my hair at some point.

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<v Speaker 2>It's called fifty plus of course, and I'm you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm turning fifty six.

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<v Speaker 1>Such a weird number.

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<v Speaker 2>I am laughing because of how life can be. And

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<v Speaker 2>I really this week has been a collection of moments

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<v Speaker 2>that encapsulate how life can be.

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<v Speaker 1>So here are the contrasts.

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<v Speaker 2>I had a life coaching client just praise me for

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<v Speaker 2>helping them out and being there for them and having

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<v Speaker 2>a positive outcome to a problem. Another coaching client had

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<v Speaker 2>epiphanies while we're we were having our meeting. They completely

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<v Speaker 2>were just like, oh my, I didn't heard that. I

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<v Speaker 2>thought of It was wonderful to see the clicks happening

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<v Speaker 2>for them. Meanwhile, me, I'm flying apart inside. It feels

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<v Speaker 2>like sometimes I feel like my insides are a mess.

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<v Speaker 2>They're all over the place because I haven't really sat

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<v Speaker 2>down to deal with a lot of stuff. Another example,

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<v Speaker 2>I was.

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<v Speaker 1>Making lobster tails.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, my mother had bought these lobster tales a while back,

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<v Speaker 2>and I had to cook three of them because they

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<v Speaker 2>were they were defrosted.

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<v Speaker 1>They were frozen to frosted and cooking.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'm prement air fryer season a premier fryer to

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<v Speaker 2>cook it. And I'm like, lobster's expensive, right, Lobster is

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<v Speaker 2>like a delicate delicacy, you know, seafood. So I'm laughing

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, I have for I don't have a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of groceries. I'm running out of food on a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of groceries. I don't have any money right now

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<v Speaker 2>to go grocery shopping, so I'm taking what I have.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'm taking stuff out of the freezer, which is

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<v Speaker 2>the thank thank you Jesus, I got that, and I'm

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<v Speaker 2>making food out of it, having to cover having to

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<v Speaker 2>cook it, and makes up make some meals out of it.

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<v Speaker 1>And so I was just kind of laughing.

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<v Speaker 2>At the juxtaposition of I being this high quality seafood,

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<v Speaker 2>which is I.

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<v Speaker 1>Mean totally a luxury, right, because I think we're gonna

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<v Speaker 1>make a lobster roll the wort.

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<v Speaker 2>I cooked it because it was late at night, so

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<v Speaker 2>I cooked it and I taste I can look called taste, but.

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<v Speaker 1>I put it.

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<v Speaker 2>There's some butter, and it's sit overnight, it's cooked. I

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<v Speaker 2>had to cook them. So I'm like getting ooh. I

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<v Speaker 2>put some it's a cocktail saucepan or maybe I don't

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<v Speaker 2>know if it's this olive oil, mayonnaise whatever. Put it

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<v Speaker 2>with some avocado. Put it in a roll, and I

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<v Speaker 2>gotta be a lobster roll sandwich. Meanwhile, I have I

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<v Speaker 2>have no money in my account to really buy anything

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<v Speaker 2>else the moment, so I can't comply. Like I'm sitting

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<v Speaker 2>I mean a house, nice, big giant house, eating lobster

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<v Speaker 2>with very little money in my accounts because I'm paying

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<v Speaker 2>billos and shit, that to me is hilarious.

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<v Speaker 1>And that's life.

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<v Speaker 2>On my birthday is coming up, and no one has said, James,

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<v Speaker 2>you want to take you out for your birthday every year.

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<v Speaker 2>So when it's like I'll take you out from lunch,

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<v Speaker 2>take your breaks, I'm like, I'm in town. It falls

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<v Speaker 2>on a Saturday.

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<v Speaker 1>I go frid to average and I tap you off

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<v Speaker 1>for their birthdays all the time.

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<v Speaker 2>And it's I'm feeling as a really weird kind of way,

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<v Speaker 2>like no one has stepped up to say, like j

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<v Speaker 2>will take you out, and.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, anybody owes me, don't have to take me out,

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<v Speaker 1>as I don't he owes me anything. But it's is

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<v Speaker 1>kind of funny me. I celebrate our people's birthdays.

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<v Speaker 2>I get excited, we take them out, you stuff, and

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, no one's doing.

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<v Speaker 1>It for me.

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<v Speaker 2>That's very interesting. So it makes me depressed and bitter.

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<v Speaker 2>But then it's another side of you that goes well

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<v Speaker 2>if I can, if someone sends me some money or

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<v Speaker 2>something for my birthday, then I'll order me a nice

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<v Speaker 2>big dinner from somewhere I like brake food, and I'll

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<v Speaker 2>just sit in my room, watch TV and eat. The

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<v Speaker 2>next day is Mother's Day, so I got that. The

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<v Speaker 2>next day is Mother's Day, so I gotta fogot that.

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<v Speaker 2>But I was like, maybe that's what my birthday is. Maybe,

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<v Speaker 2>I mean it's it's it's weird. You go back and

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<v Speaker 2>forth to You're like, you're bitter and angry and just

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<v Speaker 2>pointed and depres.

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<v Speaker 1>Because no one's doing anything for you.

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<v Speaker 2>But then on the other side, you're like, but I

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<v Speaker 2>will be okay cause I could.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll be in my room and I'll just or maybe

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<v Speaker 1>I'll run.

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<v Speaker 2>Out my own thing myself to dinner somewhere and don't

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<v Speaker 2>you know, and actually I will be okay, I'll be fine.

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<v Speaker 2>I've done it before, so it's not it's like that.

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<v Speaker 2>It's so this is what life's about as you get older,

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<v Speaker 2>no matter what the world's trying to tell you. Now,

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<v Speaker 2>there are shades and gray away. Nothing is black and white.

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<v Speaker 2>They're sweaty from the side. We're all different sides, and

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<v Speaker 2>two or three things can be happening at the same

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<v Speaker 2>time and be vastly different. I live in a semi

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<v Speaker 2>crappy neighborhood, but a giant house is worth almost a

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<v Speaker 2>million dollars. You know, I have most of my faculties,

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<v Speaker 2>but I hate the way I look.

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<v Speaker 1>You know.

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<v Speaker 2>It's it's like several things can happen at the same time,

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<v Speaker 2>and I think that's the lesson.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the lesson.

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<v Speaker 2>I you know, my mother is like like a child sometimes,

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<v Speaker 2>so I have to like look out for her as

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<v Speaker 2>if I'm raising a child. But she's older. There's two

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<v Speaker 2>things happening at once, but she's my mother. It's just

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<v Speaker 2>oh my god, it's it's it's crazy, you know, it's crazy.

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<v Speaker 2>Ours entrepreneur, So I'm a gig worker. I have to

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<v Speaker 2>make money. I had to cancel my Vegas trip because

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<v Speaker 2>I just I don't have the money, and I worry

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<v Speaker 2>about my mom and her health, what's going on with her,

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<v Speaker 2>so if I need to be nearby. She's demanding of

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<v Speaker 2>my time these days.

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<v Speaker 1>And then.

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<v Speaker 2>I have opportunities to make some money. So my Mike,

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<v Speaker 2>I got expenses now, other expenses that were unexpected that

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<v Speaker 2>I have to come up with what.

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<v Speaker 1>I think about the.

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<v Speaker 2>Next month, Like I got, I got, I got, I

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<v Speaker 2>got a lot of expenses done for into May. But

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<v Speaker 2>what I think about June, well, I got the munths

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<v Speaker 2>are going by, they seemingly are going by so fast.

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<v Speaker 2>There's that too, You're like, it's already gonna be my birthday.

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<v Speaker 2>I gotta even know how I don't know this year

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<v Speaker 2>started or five months into the year already, Like it's

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<v Speaker 2>just so bizarre to me.

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<v Speaker 1>So it's it's a system of this and that this

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<v Speaker 1>or that this with that.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I think I'm excited about some projects I'm

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<v Speaker 2>working on. Has some really fun projects and they're gonna

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<v Speaker 2>be really good and excited, but also might I got

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<v Speaker 2>like more money? It's like I forgot how about do that.

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<v Speaker 2>I get tired because I'm working in seven days a week.

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<v Speaker 1>All the time, and one time in the garden. I

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<v Speaker 1>want time to be able to go on my own

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<v Speaker 1>and like do some walks. And it's just, oh my god,

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<v Speaker 1>I have so much. I have so much of my plate.

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<v Speaker 1>I can't even till I pay plates. I can't even

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<v Speaker 1>tell you.

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<v Speaker 2>And and it's it's I don't and I don't see

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<v Speaker 2>it changing anytime soon. And there are may days I

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<v Speaker 2>just handle it. I don't even think about it, so

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<v Speaker 2>I just I just do it, damn it, and I

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<v Speaker 2>just I get through it and I'm done. And then

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<v Speaker 2>there's some days it feels very heavy. That's what fifty

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<v Speaker 2>plus is. I think that's what many of us, it's

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<v Speaker 2>like like fifty to seventy feel.

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<v Speaker 1>It is everything is just really heavy.

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<v Speaker 2>And then after that, as I learned from some of

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<v Speaker 2>the older people, things get scary. So as my aunts said,

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<v Speaker 2>getting old is not for sisses, and she said that

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<v Speaker 2>in a way that's not you know, it's meant to

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<v Speaker 2>be part comedy, but it's kind of like it's there

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<v Speaker 2>are a lot of facets to getting older that are

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<v Speaker 2>actually larger than age. But just but are because of age.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I'm tired of certain subjects, but they are

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<v Speaker 2>every day in my face at this age. And that's

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<v Speaker 2>that's also another thing too.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I just it's ado kids, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>That's why I have the show, because the show is

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<v Speaker 2>a space for me to talk about the age issue.

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<v Speaker 1>And a lot of the issues are related to this.

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<v Speaker 1>I know that many of you can relate. Yeah, I'll

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<v Speaker 1>leave it there. I'll leave it here for now. Things

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<v Speaker 1>should let me kind of.

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<v Speaker 2>Blog to you, so to speak, because blog it's a

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<v Speaker 2>it's an audio thing like this is like a journal entry, right,

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<v Speaker 2>thing said, We do that fifty pluses on Austre resource platforms.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm James Slat Junior. I'll be a year older daytime

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<v Speaker 1>I talk to you. Fine,