Speaker 1: So my birthday is in a couple of days.
Speaker 2: Where I just say a few days from this recording,
Speaker 2: and I'm tired, you until I'm tired.
Speaker 1: I'm tired. I'm gonna take my hair thing out. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna wash my hair at some point.
Speaker 2: It's called fifty plus of course, and I'm you know,
Speaker 2: I'm turning fifty six.
Speaker 1: Such a weird number.
Speaker 2: I am laughing because of how life can be. And
Speaker 2: I really this week has been a collection of moments
Speaker 2: that encapsulate how life can be.
Speaker 1: So here are the contrasts.
Speaker 2: I had a life coaching client just praise me for
Speaker 2: helping them out and being there for them and having
Speaker 2: a positive outcome to a problem. Another coaching client had
Speaker 2: epiphanies while we're we were having our meeting. They completely
Speaker 2: were just like, oh my, I didn't heard that. I
Speaker 2: thought of It was wonderful to see the clicks happening
Speaker 2: for them. Meanwhile, me, I'm flying apart inside. It feels
Speaker 2: like sometimes I feel like my insides are a mess.
Speaker 2: They're all over the place because I haven't really sat
Speaker 2: down to deal with a lot of stuff. Another example,
Speaker 2: I was.
Speaker 1: Making lobster tails.
Speaker 2: Yes, my mother had bought these lobster tales a while back,
Speaker 2: and I had to cook three of them because they
Speaker 2: were they were defrosted.
Speaker 1: They were frozen to frosted and cooking.
Speaker 2: So I'm prement air fryer season a premier fryer to
Speaker 2: cook it. And I'm like, lobster's expensive, right, Lobster is
Speaker 2: like a delicate delicacy, you know, seafood. So I'm laughing
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I have for I don't have a
Speaker 2: lot of groceries. I'm running out of food on a
Speaker 2: lot of groceries. I don't have any money right now
Speaker 2: to go grocery shopping, so I'm taking what I have.
Speaker 2: So I'm taking stuff out of the freezer, which is
Speaker 2: the thank thank you Jesus, I got that, and I'm
Speaker 2: making food out of it, having to cover having to
Speaker 2: cook it, and makes up make some meals out of it.
Speaker 1: And so I was just kind of laughing.
Speaker 2: At the juxtaposition of I being this high quality seafood,
Speaker 2: which is I.
Speaker 1: Mean totally a luxury, right, because I think we're gonna
Speaker 1: make a lobster roll the wort.
Speaker 2: I cooked it because it was late at night, so
Speaker 2: I cooked it and I taste I can look called taste, but.
Speaker 1: I put it.
Speaker 2: There's some butter, and it's sit overnight, it's cooked. I
Speaker 2: had to cook them. So I'm like getting ooh. I
Speaker 2: put some it's a cocktail saucepan or maybe I don't
Speaker 2: know if it's this olive oil, mayonnaise whatever. Put it
Speaker 2: with some avocado. Put it in a roll, and I
Speaker 2: gotta be a lobster roll sandwich. Meanwhile, I have I
Speaker 2: have no money in my account to really buy anything
Speaker 2: else the moment, so I can't comply. Like I'm sitting
Speaker 2: I mean a house, nice, big giant house, eating lobster
Speaker 2: with very little money in my accounts because I'm paying
Speaker 2: billos and shit, that to me is hilarious.
Speaker 1: And that's life.
Speaker 2: On my birthday is coming up, and no one has said, James,
Speaker 2: you want to take you out for your birthday every year.
Speaker 2: So when it's like I'll take you out from lunch,
Speaker 2: take your breaks, I'm like, I'm in town. It falls
Speaker 2: on a Saturday.
Speaker 1: I go frid to average and I tap you off
Speaker 1: for their birthdays all the time.
Speaker 2: And it's I'm feeling as a really weird kind of way,
Speaker 2: like no one has stepped up to say, like j
Speaker 2: will take you out, and.
Speaker 1: I'm like, anybody owes me, don't have to take me out,
Speaker 1: as I don't he owes me anything. But it's is
Speaker 1: kind of funny me. I celebrate our people's birthdays.
Speaker 2: I get excited, we take them out, you stuff, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, no one's doing.
Speaker 1: It for me.
Speaker 2: That's very interesting. So it makes me depressed and bitter.
Speaker 2: But then it's another side of you that goes well
Speaker 2: if I can, if someone sends me some money or
Speaker 2: something for my birthday, then I'll order me a nice
Speaker 2: big dinner from somewhere I like brake food, and I'll
Speaker 2: just sit in my room, watch TV and eat. The
Speaker 2: next day is Mother's Day, so I got that. The
Speaker 2: next day is Mother's Day, so I gotta fogot that.
Speaker 2: But I was like, maybe that's what my birthday is. Maybe,
Speaker 2: I mean it's it's it's weird. You go back and
Speaker 2: forth to You're like, you're bitter and angry and just
Speaker 2: pointed and depres.
Speaker 1: Because no one's doing anything for you.
Speaker 2: But then on the other side, you're like, but I
Speaker 2: will be okay cause I could.
Speaker 1: I'll be in my room and I'll just or maybe
Speaker 1: I'll run.
Speaker 2: Out my own thing myself to dinner somewhere and don't
Speaker 2: you know, and actually I will be okay, I'll be fine.
Speaker 2: I've done it before, so it's not it's like that.
Speaker 2: It's so this is what life's about as you get older,
Speaker 2: no matter what the world's trying to tell you. Now,
Speaker 2: there are shades and gray away. Nothing is black and white.
Speaker 2: They're sweaty from the side. We're all different sides, and
Speaker 2: two or three things can be happening at the same
Speaker 2: time and be vastly different. I live in a semi
Speaker 2: crappy neighborhood, but a giant house is worth almost a
Speaker 2: million dollars. You know, I have most of my faculties,
Speaker 2: but I hate the way I look.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: It's it's like several things can happen at the same time,
Speaker 2: and I think that's the lesson.
Speaker 1: That's the lesson.
Speaker 2: I you know, my mother is like like a child sometimes,
Speaker 2: so I have to like look out for her as
Speaker 2: if I'm raising a child. But she's older. There's two
Speaker 2: things happening at once, but she's my mother. It's just
Speaker 2: oh my god, it's it's it's crazy, you know, it's crazy.
Speaker 2: Ours entrepreneur, So I'm a gig worker. I have to
Speaker 2: make money. I had to cancel my Vegas trip because
Speaker 2: I just I don't have the money, and I worry
Speaker 2: about my mom and her health, what's going on with her,
Speaker 2: so if I need to be nearby. She's demanding of
Speaker 2: my time these days.
Speaker 1: And then.
Speaker 2: I have opportunities to make some money. So my Mike,
Speaker 2: I got expenses now, other expenses that were unexpected that
Speaker 2: I have to come up with what.
Speaker 1: I think about the.
Speaker 2: Next month, Like I got, I got, I got, I
Speaker 2: got a lot of expenses done for into May. But
Speaker 2: what I think about June, well, I got the munths
Speaker 2: are going by, they seemingly are going by so fast.
Speaker 2: There's that too, You're like, it's already gonna be my birthday.
Speaker 2: I gotta even know how I don't know this year
Speaker 2: started or five months into the year already, Like it's
Speaker 2: just so bizarre to me.
Speaker 1: So it's it's a system of this and that this
Speaker 1: or that this with that.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think I'm excited about some projects I'm
Speaker 2: working on. Has some really fun projects and they're gonna
Speaker 2: be really good and excited, but also might I got
Speaker 2: like more money? It's like I forgot how about do that.
Speaker 2: I get tired because I'm working in seven days a week.
Speaker 1: All the time, and one time in the garden. I
Speaker 1: want time to be able to go on my own
Speaker 1: and like do some walks. And it's just, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I have so much. I have so much of my plate.
Speaker 1: I can't even till I pay plates. I can't even
Speaker 1: tell you.
Speaker 2: And and it's it's I don't and I don't see
Speaker 2: it changing anytime soon. And there are may days I
Speaker 2: just handle it. I don't even think about it, so
Speaker 2: I just I just do it, damn it, and I
Speaker 2: just I get through it and I'm done. And then
Speaker 2: there's some days it feels very heavy. That's what fifty
Speaker 2: plus is. I think that's what many of us, it's
Speaker 2: like like fifty to seventy feel.
Speaker 1: It is everything is just really heavy.
Speaker 2: And then after that, as I learned from some of
Speaker 2: the older people, things get scary. So as my aunts said,
Speaker 2: getting old is not for sisses, and she said that
Speaker 2: in a way that's not you know, it's meant to
Speaker 2: be part comedy, but it's kind of like it's there
Speaker 2: are a lot of facets to getting older that are
Speaker 2: actually larger than age. But just but are because of age.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm tired of certain subjects, but they are
Speaker 2: every day in my face at this age. And that's
Speaker 2: that's also another thing too.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just it's ado kids, I don't know.
Speaker 2: That's why I have the show, because the show is
Speaker 2: a space for me to talk about the age issue.
Speaker 1: And a lot of the issues are related to this.
Speaker 1: I know that many of you can relate. Yeah, I'll
Speaker 1: leave it there. I'll leave it here for now. Things
Speaker 1: should let me kind of.
Speaker 2: Blog to you, so to speak, because blog it's a
Speaker 2: it's an audio thing like this is like a journal entry, right,
Speaker 2: thing said, We do that fifty pluses on Austre resource platforms.
Speaker 1: I'm James Slat Junior. I'll be a year older daytime
Speaker 1: I talk to you. Fine,