Speaker 1: Feeding yourself is hard enough sometimes, but what about when
Speaker 1: you have a whole family of mouths to feed. If
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Speaker 1: can choose from over thirty five meals and eighteen extras
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Speaker 1: in microwave even faster, and then they have the dedicated
Speaker 1: family menu, which will be you know, if you have
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Speaker 1: of different tastes, which you know is what I find
Speaker 1: in my house too, even though my children are grown.
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Speaker 1: six dollars per month on groceries. That is a lot
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Speaker 1: receive the free dessert. Hey everybody, welcome to pink Shade Prime.
Speaker 1: It's Mary Paine here. I got Keisha. Hey guys, it's
Speaker 1: a Briand show Kisha.
Speaker 2: And this was a brand new show to me.
Speaker 3: I know that's exciting for you.
Speaker 1: I think.
Speaker 2: I know you like it when we record a show
Speaker 2: and I have I'm totally new to it, like I
Speaker 2: Love is Blind. That was my first time being introduced
Speaker 2: to that show. So yes, I'm excited.
Speaker 1: Now we're old school Love is Blind. Oh yeah, now
Speaker 1: we know everything everything everything, Uh, Okay, Keisha, So you
Speaker 1: have not watched all fifteen seasons of vander Pump Rules.
Speaker 1: You just kind of you've dipped in and out. You know,
Speaker 1: the characters don't know the game.
Speaker 2: I have never watched a single episode of vander Pump Rules,
Speaker 2: but one of those shows that it's always in the
Speaker 2: news and I follow pop culture that I'm like, okay,
Speaker 2: I know enough about what's going on. Yes, yeah, VIC
Speaker 2: scandals and things like that. But when watching this, I
Speaker 2: was like, Okay, who was on vander Pump Rules? Like
Speaker 2: who worked there? Of course Jack's I know that name,
Speaker 2: Kristen Figure, she she had worked there. I wasn't sure
Speaker 2: about Brittany.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she works there briefly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, big titty Brittany. Yeah.
Speaker 1: By the way, that's on purpose. She got those boobs
Speaker 1: on purpose. Yeah, no way, you if you google what
Speaker 1: Brittany looked like. When Jack's first met her, he met
Speaker 1: her like at a pool party in Vegas or something,
Speaker 1: and they started dating. And like he always does every
Speaker 1: time he got a girlfriend, he'd immediately like move him
Speaker 1: into his place and then get him to work with her,
Speaker 1: and this one just happened to stick. But yeah, she
Speaker 1: was you know had a cute, little, tiny body with
Speaker 1: regular tiny boobs, and he had her. He paid for
Speaker 1: that giant boob job, and he wanted a.
Speaker 2: Huge Like they literally are like two watermelons up there.
Speaker 2: I assume they were natural.
Speaker 3: No, she did that on purpose.
Speaker 2: That's a back ache waiting to come right.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I keep thinking now that she's rid of him,
Speaker 1: that maybe she'll put him down to like whatever size
Speaker 1: she originally wanted. Because they had like an argument on
Speaker 1: the Inner Pump rules about the boobs because she he
Speaker 1: was like, I'm paying for him, I should get them
Speaker 1: as big as I want. She's like, I just don't
Speaker 1: want boobs that big.
Speaker 2: But like, yeah, look, I'm like I'm gonna take your money,
Speaker 2: but when I get in there, I'm gonna tell the
Speaker 2: plastics did what size I want And that's the end
Speaker 2: of it, because that's gonna start to be a problem.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, Oh okay, I agree with all that.
Speaker 1: So okay, So what we have here is Jacks and
Speaker 1: Kristen had kind of been pitching this spin off for years.
Speaker 1: After they both were like canceled, yes and had to
Speaker 1: go off the show.
Speaker 2: Now why was okay? So Kristin was canceled because there
Speaker 2: was like a comment mate correct.
Speaker 1: So Kristen and Stasi and I'm a big Sassy apologist,
Speaker 1: So Kristen and Saucy on Stassy's podcast. Stassi's podcast was
Speaker 1: one of the first podcasts, one of the first podcasts
Speaker 1: I ever listened to. She was early on the podcast Game,
Speaker 1: so she had this podcast, and she and Kristin told
Speaker 1: a story on the podcast about them terribly bullying and
Speaker 1: pretty much racially profiling this woman Faith.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: Faith was a cast member for like one season.
Speaker 1: She was just sort of like a friend of She
Speaker 1: started off with Laala as a friend of cast member.
Speaker 1: Faith and Lalla kind of came on together Faith is black,
Speaker 1: and they both worked they both worked at her Okay,
Speaker 1: And so basically, if I'm remembering it correctly, and this
Speaker 1: may not be exactly because it's been a long time,
Speaker 1: but Kristin and Sassi told the story on Stassi I
Speaker 1: was listening told the story on the podcast about how
Speaker 1: they called the police to say that they thought this
Speaker 1: like scammer was Faith and that the police should look
Speaker 1: into Faith for being like scammer.
Speaker 3: That had been like seen on.
Speaker 1: Video and they were like, Faith has got that same
Speaker 1: jacket I'm sure it's certain. I Meanwhile, Faith was like
Speaker 1: a home health nurse or whatever.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, Okay.
Speaker 1: The reason they didn't like Faith was because Faith slept
Speaker 1: with Jacks and Jackson was with Brittany, and so they
Speaker 1: decided they would like try to ruin this girl's life,
Speaker 1: even though you know, of course it's actually Jack's fault
Speaker 1: because he was.
Speaker 3: The one in the relationship.
Speaker 2: Absolutely yep, okay.
Speaker 1: But Faith was smart enough to take like audio of
Speaker 1: Jack's talking shit about Brittany, who's his girlfriend, m h.
Speaker 1: And then on vander Pump, Arianna or James or somebody
Speaker 1: like had the audio and played it for Brittany. We
Speaker 1: never heard it as viewers because it's like a you know,
Speaker 1: two party consent state, and Jack's obviously didn't consent being
Speaker 1: but it was basically like saying, you know, Brittany was gross.
Speaker 1: He was trying to get rid of her. They never
Speaker 1: had sex, Like he didn't want to be with her anymore,
Speaker 1: like called her fat like all this stuff. Oh geez.
Speaker 1: But the kicker of this story of Jack's hooking up
Speaker 1: with Faith is the kicker to the story is that
Speaker 1: there was like a elderly woman in the bed, like
Speaker 1: asleep in the in the same room where like Jackson
Speaker 1: Faith were banging. That was the woman that Faith was
Speaker 1: supposed to be watching this old lady as her job.
Speaker 2: Super gross. Well, hopefully it wasn't in a room like
Speaker 2: what we saw in La Lu last week, a whole
Speaker 2: nursing home room.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think it was just like yes, oh, I cannot disgusting.
Speaker 1: So that's the story of why Kristen and Stassi got canceled.
Speaker 1: Jack was still on the show, but there was a
Speaker 1: party that was like at like an opening party or something.
Speaker 1: It was at Tom Tom, one of the restaurants, the
Speaker 1: vander Pomos with the two Toms, and Lisa vander pum
Speaker 1: was at that party, and Alista vander pump started this
Speaker 1: whole empire, right she owned the restaurants that spurred the shows.
Speaker 1: And Jack's is you know, always coked out of his gorge,
Speaker 1: just always like you like this, and he gets in
Speaker 1: Lisa Vanderbump's face and was like something something, I mean,
Speaker 1: they came on my show, blah blah blah, and Lisa
Speaker 1: vander Pumpkins, excuse me, it is not your show. Actually
Speaker 1: it is my show. It is called vander pump yeah,
Speaker 1: he's oh yeah, that's like I know, I know, I know, Lisa,
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 3: But we never saw him again. He was off after that.
Speaker 2: That was it.
Speaker 1: He was kicked off the show.
Speaker 2: Oh geez, okay, I had no idea that was the
Speaker 2: reason that he got canceled.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean his erratic, coked out behavior it Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: So he and Brittainy got married at this air quote
Speaker 1: castle by the highway in Kentucky and they got married.
Speaker 2: I castled by the Highway. It was like one of.
Speaker 1: These things like my whole life, I would drive by
Speaker 1: and see this castle and one day I won't get married.
Speaker 1: I'm going to have a princess in that castle. And
Speaker 1: it's some sort of like wedding venue in Kentucky. But
Speaker 1: they're like, it's literally like a castle that somebody in
Speaker 1: Kentucky made to be a wedding venue.
Speaker 2: Got it.
Speaker 1: But that's where they got married. And like he didn't
Speaker 1: have his own mother at the wedding because he was
Speaker 1: mad at her because his dad was really sick and dying,
Speaker 1: and the dad's dying wish was like don't tell the kids.
Speaker 3: So the mom didn't tell the kids and they didn't.
Speaker 1: Get either they didn't get to see him, or they
Speaker 1: saw him right before he died, but they didn't know
Speaker 1: that he was very sick, he was saying, so he
Speaker 1: quit talking to his mother and didn't invite his mother
Speaker 1: to his wedding.
Speaker 2: Okay, because I'm watching season one and you know me,
Speaker 2: I'm a bad judge of character. Okay, and I like, Okay,
Speaker 2: do I like Jack's Do I not like him?
Speaker 3: I'm like, don't you don't like him?
Speaker 1: You don't?
Speaker 2: And like there's something about him, But then I see
Speaker 2: him being a total ass. What I'm like, thinking some
Speaker 2: good intensive therapy. There may be a good guy in
Speaker 2: there somewhere. It may be and you haven't seen it.
Speaker 1: Okay, ten years, ten years, Various relationships and girlfriends and
Speaker 1: now with Brittany, his wife, have all tried over all
Speaker 1: his years. But you know, he is admitted to a
Speaker 1: twenty year cocaine and alcohol problem.
Speaker 2: I mean that it'll make you suck as a person.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I think he sucked as a person before that.
Speaker 1: He's just He's just a liar. He literally lies about everything.
Speaker 1: He will lie about nothing, small things, big things, he
Speaker 1: lies about. He's just everything everything nobody thought she should
Speaker 1: marry him. Nobody thought she should stay together with him,
Speaker 1: and she did, you know, and everything everybody predicted has
Speaker 1: come true. Right, So as we go, I will give you, you know,
Speaker 1: background as a is fit because some of these people
Speaker 1: on the valley, you know, we've never seen before. And
Speaker 1: it's really great because like who everybody but Kristin and Jackson,
Speaker 1: oh and Brittany.
Speaker 3: You've never seen these other people never.
Speaker 1: We had never seen them as a friend in the background,
Speaker 1: like we've seen Zach before, because Zach actually is Brittany's
Speaker 1: friend that I believe is from Kentucky and like moved
Speaker 1: to LA when she moved to La as like her bestie.
Speaker 3: I believe Zach is like from Kentucky.
Speaker 1: With Brittany, Okay, okay, and he of course they've all
Speaker 1: been friends for a song. He's become very close to
Speaker 1: Kristin and everybody else. But no, I mean Michelle, Jesse,
Speaker 1: all these other people, Janet, Jason, all these people we've
Speaker 1: never seen. Now, Janet has been in the zeitgeist for
Speaker 1: a long time because she's been really good friends with
Speaker 1: all of them for a long time. When we've heard
Speaker 1: her name where she's been at a party here or there.
Speaker 1: But all of these people except for Kristin Jackson Brittany
Speaker 1: are brand new to this show. I never seen it.
Speaker 1: So a lot of people when it started were like, Oh,
Speaker 1: this show's gonna be terrible, like who are these people?
Speaker 1: And I was like, I think it's gonna be great,
Speaker 1: And I was right, it's great. It's a great show.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it to me the first two episode. You know me,
Speaker 2: I'm always kind of stupid down the first two episode,
Speaker 2: I'm like, who's.
Speaker 3: The well when they're brand new, you gotta yeah.
Speaker 2: A third episode, I'm like, Okay, this person is married
Speaker 2: to this person, this is going on with their relationship.
Speaker 2: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: God yeah, and I love that you. Sorry, my car
Speaker 1: play just turned on. Can you please explain to me why?
Speaker 3: I guess because the car play car play it just
Speaker 3: turned on.
Speaker 1: Explain to me why my phone is literally on do
Speaker 1: Not Desturb an Airplane mode? I got why how would
Speaker 1: that happen? Dave just got in his car, Like, I
Speaker 1: guess the Bluetooth is still on.
Speaker 3: I'll turn that off.
Speaker 1: Okay, Probably Dave just got in his car and heard
Speaker 1: my like Watchood Crappen's episode that was playing. Oh, feeding
Speaker 1: yourself is hard enough sometimes, but what about when you
Speaker 1: have a whole family of mouths to feed. If that's familiar,
Speaker 1: maybe you're at my house because I've got people coming
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Speaker 1: and chef designed recipes conveniently to your doorstep. You can
Speaker 1: simplify your life with Home Chef. Users of leading meal
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Speaker 1: taste and recipes. Now I prefer the classic mealkits with
Speaker 1: the pre portioned ingredients, but they also have these quick
Speaker 1: thirty minute recipes. They also have even ready pop it
Speaker 1: in microwave even faster, and then they have the dedicated
Speaker 1: family menu, which will be you know, if you have
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Speaker 1: The Valley Season two, Episode one, separation anxiety.
Speaker 2: Okay, got it?
Speaker 1: So everybody separated, So we get a lot of opening
Speaker 1: shots of them like doing their talking heads of like
Speaker 1: preview on what's to come, you know, with all this
Speaker 1: going on. Now we know in real time, of course,
Speaker 1: Brittany and Jackson are separated.
Speaker 3: We know now very.
Speaker 1: Pretty currently, pretty recently he admitted to this cocaine and
Speaker 1: problem is probably to like boost up ratings for this season.
Speaker 2: Absolutely yes, because I'm not gonna admit to a drug problem.
Speaker 2: Unless I'm gonna get paid to.
Speaker 3: Use, especially when you're trying to have joint.
Speaker 1: Custody of your child.
Speaker 2: Yes's.
Speaker 3: And then she.
Speaker 1: Also just did a big article with people talking about
Speaker 1: her son having autism.
Speaker 2: I saw that.
Speaker 1: Yes, now, we we knew last season that he was
Speaker 1: getting speech therapy and stuff, and yes we could. You know,
Speaker 1: you could tell, especially as a parent, that you could
Speaker 1: tell like, Okay, something's going on with this kid and
Speaker 1: they're not saying it, and that's fine because they don't
Speaker 1: have to. And in addition to having a coked out
Speaker 1: husband who calls you fat and lazy alcoholic. Now I
Speaker 1: have heard, and this is just complete rumor, but I
Speaker 1: have heard from other people that yes, Brittany also does
Speaker 1: have a drinking problem.
Speaker 2: But I think that was kind of clear. And here's
Speaker 2: the thing. He called her fat and lazy. You can't
Speaker 2: call me fat and lazy. People want struggle and call
Speaker 2: me that doing both this way too much like you
Speaker 2: to be fat this day and ugly the next day.
Speaker 2: I can't be fat and ugly the same day, Like
Speaker 2: come on, give me something like, Yeah, it was clear
Speaker 2: to me because you know, my stepson is autistic, and
Speaker 2: I kind of recognized some of the things a little bit,
Speaker 2: like there's like him, like there's something going on. I'm like,
Speaker 2: we're probably gonna hear about a diagnosis. And here we go,
Speaker 2: right before the new season starts, there's a diagnosis. There's
Speaker 2: a big birthday party where I guess they were astronauts.
Speaker 2: I saw that.
Speaker 1: It was cute. So he's a really really cute kid.
Speaker 1: He looks looks a lot like her. But I mean,
Speaker 1: you saw at the end of last season she was
Speaker 1: like really pressuring him to like have another baby, and
Speaker 1: I was like, let me tell you, this marriage is
Speaker 1: a baby. Okay. So then we see all these opening
Speaker 1: shots that I'm talking about whatever happened. So I think
Speaker 1: that's when finally Jack goes to rehab, which I think
Speaker 1: he tried twice. I don't know if it's stuck or not,
Speaker 1: but allegedly he says he has. So seven days earlier,
Speaker 1: we're at Jesse's house. Okay, now this is the same
Speaker 1: house he lived in with Michelle, and he says, now,
Speaker 1: I'm so great to have my own space. I can
Speaker 1: like line my clothes up alphabetically and buy color in
Speaker 1: the closet, and you know when Michelle moved out. It
Speaker 1: was like a weight off my shoulders, and co parenting
Speaker 1: is not going well. You know, Isabella acts like me
Speaker 1: and looks like me, which is probably not great for Michelle.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Isabella is that girl though, Like, oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: she knows what she's doing, she knows how to respond.
Speaker 2: She responds sarcastically, like she is just a tiny adult
Speaker 2: and I have to tell you, and you're probably gonna
Speaker 2: get mad at me for this. I like Jesse way
Speaker 2: more than I like Michelle.
Speaker 1: Right, and did you feel that way about him last
Speaker 1: season season one? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Okay, I can't stomach her at all.
Speaker 1: I think she's been through a lot with him, and
Speaker 1: that'll make you be real bitchy.
Speaker 2: It's just something about a personality.
Speaker 1: I get it, get it.
Speaker 2: I don't know. Granted, living with him probably is horrible,
Speaker 2: but I would just cussing sounds out every day. Yeah good,
Speaker 2: it'll be funny.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay. So five hours later, we see Isabella in
Speaker 1: the car and she's going, I have any shadow on
Speaker 1: Mom's like, okay, great, it's gotta school with that shadow.
Speaker 1: It's amazing, right, So obviously he's gonna be the dad
Speaker 1: that lets Isabella do whatever the fuck you wantever, and
Speaker 1: then Michelle's gotta deal with that when she comes to
Speaker 1: her house, you know.
Speaker 2: I mean, that's the chance you take when you get
Speaker 2: a divorce, because there's always gonna that parent that they
Speaker 2: don't live with all the time. It's always gonna be
Speaker 2: the fun parent. It just it just happens. That's just
Speaker 2: the way. And especially a girl. Of course, she's gonna
Speaker 2: have a ferrari by the time she's did.
Speaker 1: That's right. So now we're at Janet and Jason's house.
Speaker 1: They have had their baby. She was, you know, using
Speaker 1: her pregnant secrets like everything last year.
Speaker 2: I'm like, you're pregnant, not not handicapped, Like, stop it,
Speaker 2: stop this girl.
Speaker 1: Like how funny was it last season when Jason said, Yeah,
Speaker 1: so Janet, you know, quit her job here at the
Speaker 1: end of the pregnancy to get ready for the baby.
Speaker 1: And but she took up a new full time hobby,
Speaker 1: which is shit talking and gossiping.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because she's like the number one, she's the sneaky one. Yeah,
Speaker 2: she has everyone else doing her dirty work. And I
Speaker 2: gotta tell you their little baby, Cameron, Jason's jeans did
Speaker 2: not put up a fight at all. No we'll get
Speaker 2: the next one. We'll get the next one.
Speaker 3: Here's a fun fact about Jason.
Speaker 1: Matt Maher of Reality Gaze knows him because he Jason's
Speaker 1: was a lawyer in the firm where Matt used to work.
Speaker 1: He's hot, He's very hot, very hot. You can't tell
Speaker 1: me he does anything wrong. You can't tell me he cheats.
Speaker 1: You can't tell me. I think you can't tell me
Speaker 1: anything bad about Jason them.
Speaker 2: I mean, we haven't seen anything bad so far, but
Speaker 2: you know, we've still got a whole season, the.
Speaker 3: Whole season to go.
Speaker 1: So the baby's crawling, he's got one of those little
Speaker 1: baby helmets on, and she's talking about how you know,
Speaker 1: she thought all these you know, barf and poop and
Speaker 1: snot and all this would gross her out, but somehow,
Speaker 1: like it doesn't when it's your own baby. They talk about,
Speaker 1: you know, he's got the helmet on because of the
Speaker 1: conehead and stuff, and he's crawling around.
Speaker 2: Cute.
Speaker 1: Now we go to Kristin and Luke's and Kristens in
Speaker 1: the kitchen and he's basically telling her like, hey, if
Speaker 1: you want to get pregnant and try to have a baby,
Speaker 1: like maybe you shouldn't be like drinking and smoking, and
Speaker 1: she's like, ah, works for our parents. I'm sure it's fine.
Speaker 2: I mean, technically she is correct, like she really really is.
Speaker 2: But I gotta tell you you're not gonna get this
Speaker 2: reference because you have always will continued to refuse to
Speaker 2: watch Mama June. But for anyone else who has followed
Speaker 2: Honeybooboo Mama June, Luke is sugar Bear, who is Alana
Speaker 2: aka Honey Boo Boo's dad. Luke looks exactly like what
Speaker 2: sugar Bear would have looked like if he were not
Speaker 2: a myth head and married to June. Okay, can I
Speaker 2: tell me these two people are not related? I mean
Speaker 2: they I'm like, that is what sugar Bear could have
Speaker 2: looked like instead of what he like, No tea, that
Speaker 2: just he's may to June Shannon, and he slept with June,
Speaker 2: so he's he'd been through some things. But yeah, they
Speaker 2: look just so I'm gonna have to see a picture
Speaker 2: of sugar Bear.
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, yes I can't. I can't picture him. I
Speaker 1: mean I know that name obviously, but I can't picture him. Okay,
Speaker 1: So the background on Luke is everybody says he looks
Speaker 1: like a doomsday prepper, but he's actually from like a
Speaker 1: super super like wealthy family. He's actually super wealthy. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: how did you feel about first season when she this
Speaker 1: is like all coming back to me because I didn't
Speaker 1: rewatch the first season. She said that she met him
Speaker 1: at her friend wedding and like banged down behind a
Speaker 1: porta potty. That's just Kristin. That's how she rolls.
Speaker 2: I mean, I know, sometimes we get an itch, you
Speaker 2: gotta scratch it, but we try not to scratch it
Speaker 2: in an alley, you know what I mean, behind a
Speaker 2: porter potty.
Speaker 3: In a bridesmaids dress.
Speaker 1: Uh huh.
Speaker 2: So to me, if you can walk the distance to
Speaker 2: a quorter potty, you could probably walk the distance to
Speaker 2: your car if you go just a little bit further,
Speaker 2: and you could have done it there.
Speaker 1: If I go in the porta potty, they went like
Speaker 1: behind the porter potties.
Speaker 2: That's disgusting. Yeah, you can feel smell and yeah it's you.
Speaker 2: You're you're fucking by a shitter. Okay, anyway you put it,
Speaker 2: that's what you're doing. Okay.
Speaker 1: Jasmine and Melissa, Now we never really saw Melissa last season.
Speaker 1: We knew she had this long term girlfriend, but we
Speaker 1: never really saw her, and we don't see her much.
Speaker 1: We just see her a little. So I don't know
Speaker 1: if Melissa is like I will film but as little
Speaker 1: as possible, you know.
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't blame her, especially if she's got
Speaker 2: like this techie career and stuff like that, and yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't want to be associated that much the show.
Speaker 2: Even though her girlfriend stole Michelle Williams's whole face from
Speaker 2: Destiny's Child. Every time they showed you as I'm like,
Speaker 2: I'm a survivor.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna give up.
Speaker 3: That is funny.
Speaker 1: That is they could be sisters, that's true. So they
Speaker 1: say they've been together four years. They joke about like,
Speaker 1: are you gonna propose to be? Are you gonna propose
Speaker 1: to be? Even Okay, So I guess that's what we're
Speaker 1: setting that up to happen, probably okay Nia and Danny's
Speaker 1: condo now, at the end of the last season, they
Speaker 1: were looking for a place because they have three under three,
Speaker 1: and we know that in current times she is pregnant
Speaker 1: with number four.
Speaker 2: That is insane. I saw a picture, a current picture,
Speaker 2: and it was like the whole cast and I saw her.
Speaker 2: You know, every woman now has got to put their
Speaker 2: stomach on the handoff. But I do not get that shit.
Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, we get it. And I'm like, there's
Speaker 2: no way she's pregnant again.
Speaker 1: She is, she's pregnant again.
Speaker 2: So that means we're going to see even more little
Speaker 2: house on a prairie dresses, Yeah, that's all she wears.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they already shouldn't have three children in a
Speaker 1: two bedroom.
Speaker 2: Apartments a small condo.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they already are. Yeah, we better see them move,
Speaker 1: We better see them move. Yes, So now we go
Speaker 1: to Jackson Britney's house. Now, of course, you know Jack's
Speaker 1: being Jack's refused to move out of the family home
Speaker 1: and made Brittany and Cruz move to a rental. So
Speaker 1: take your child, who already has issues out of his
Speaker 1: home and make him move to a rental.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was not a good move right there. That
Speaker 2: was pretty douchey.
Speaker 1: Pretty bad. So so Jesse goes over to visit Jack's
Speaker 1: and Brittany and Jacks have now been separated for nine
Speaker 1: months and she is in a rental you know, close by,
Speaker 1: and he says, you know, the two of us were
Speaker 1: thinking to try and again, but you know, I went
Speaker 1: on her iPad. She was still texted with Julian like
Speaker 1: like he's saying this to Jesse, put yourself in my shoes.
Speaker 2: Man.
Speaker 1: I went full, like unhinged in rage and I was
Speaker 1: mad and you, thank god, thank god cruisedn't see anything.
Speaker 1: He was in the other room. And Jesse says, you
Speaker 1: need to think about how your son sees you as
Speaker 1: a father and a man and how he will treat
Speaker 1: women in the future. And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeahs
Speaker 1: you know, he didn't get a shit. He's like got
Speaker 1: a plan on seeing that kid anyway, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: And the talking head Jack says, yeah, it's really bad
Speaker 1: because like Julia and I we were friends, and I
Speaker 1: don't have an answer for how I acted. I don't
Speaker 1: I saw red. It was like an out of body experience.
Speaker 1: Like tell me any god that would handle it differently. Now,
Speaker 1: this is what Jack's always does.
Speaker 2: It is.
Speaker 1: He's always trying to work on himself. He's always like, Okay,
Speaker 1: do better. You know, he's been saying that for fifteen years.
Speaker 3: I'm working.
Speaker 1: I'm a work in progress. But whatever, whenever he says
Speaker 1: thing like that was really bad. I apologize for that,
Speaker 1: but anybody else would do the same thing, or you
Speaker 1: know who could blame me? He never just takes accountability
Speaker 1: or apologize. He always has to say anybody else would
Speaker 1: do the same I was triggered by this person as
Speaker 1: their fault, like he can't make full accountability. There's not
Speaker 1: anybody can find me. One example of all the years
Speaker 1: of Vander Pumpkin's or this show where he ever just
Speaker 1: said I'm wrong, I'm sorry, without in the same episode
Speaker 1: also explaining why really is somebody else's fault? Are y'all
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Speaker 2: Now. I heard Brittany at some point say that they
Speaker 2: agreed that they could see other people. Yes, Jesse.
Speaker 1: Jesse said that here too. You guys had it with
Speaker 1: the shock.
Speaker 2: Yeah here at Granted, no one wants to actually see it, right,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: I get that, But if you go search, you might
Speaker 3: find something.
Speaker 2: And that's why people don't go looking for shit. I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 2: you're looking for shit, You're gonna find something. You wish
Speaker 2: you had to say that you probably would have been
Speaker 2: okay with never knowing about This is a prime example
Speaker 2: of that.
Speaker 1: Right. So Jesse is talking about himself with his separation
Speaker 1: from Michelle, and he says, I went through a small
Speaker 1: phase of just hook up some stuff, and he goes,
Speaker 1: but you know, really, at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: I'm a relationship guy, and now I'm in a great
Speaker 1: relationship with a wonderful woman, and she's super strong. She
Speaker 1: holds me accountable. She holds a mirror to me, which
Speaker 1: Michelle never did. I was like, so, you're faulting Michelle
Speaker 1: for not holding your feet to the fire, just as
Speaker 1: you just said to Jack's be a man holds your
Speaker 1: own feet to the fire. You don't need a woman
Speaker 1: to do it for you, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know it's always easier to call out shit
Speaker 2: that you do with someone else does it because you
Speaker 2: don't realize you're doing the same shit, right.
Speaker 1: I think that's the case here with Jesse. So now
Speaker 1: we go to Britney's rental and Michelle is there, and
Speaker 1: so she's telling Michelle about this iPad incident, and she
Speaker 1: says she sent the guy Julian a sexy video. She
Speaker 1: and Jack's were separated, they find eddy other people. Jackson
Speaker 1: was literally parading women around, and I mean I mean
Speaker 1: we saw like and we saw him with all sorts
Speaker 1: of different women.
Speaker 2: Also, he doesn't really care, no, okay, and she.
Speaker 1: Says, you know, but his rages are getting so much worse.
Speaker 1: Michelle says, well, you know, if he's raging like that,
Speaker 1: it takes one second for it to go wrong.
Speaker 2: That's true.
Speaker 1: And in the Talking to Head, Brittany says, we were
Speaker 1: still co parenting doing our podcast because it's super successful,
Speaker 1: so we just kept that up and everything, and then
Speaker 1: all hell broke loose. He got all mad at mean
Speaker 1: about that sexy video, and he flipped the coffee table
Speaker 1: and it hit my leg, hit my knee and immediately
Speaker 1: turned black and brew blue, and he was losing his
Speaker 1: mind that I was cheating on him.
Speaker 3: But we had an agreement.
Speaker 1: We were separated, and he had been publicly parading around
Speaker 1: with girls, which is true.
Speaker 2: You know how, you know how I always work for
Speaker 2: our guy. It's like, I can't do it. It's not
Speaker 2: bad for me to go and fuck a thousand women,
Speaker 2: but if you fuck one guy, it's just like, oh
Speaker 2: my god, you're a whore. Exactly. Yep.
Speaker 1: So what they're sort of alluding to in these conversations
Speaker 1: is Jack was physically violent with Brittany, and she's trying
Speaker 1: to downplay it. He flipped a coffee table and hit
Speaker 1: my leg, and that is completely bad, but I think
Speaker 1: it was way worse, and they're trying to just skatee past.
Speaker 3: This, probably because if he's been goodly.
Speaker 1: Violent to Brittany, then they don't have a shell because
Speaker 1: they're there, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Oh, most definitely, And here's my thing. You flip a
Speaker 2: table and hit me, okay, but I'm most definitely gonna
Speaker 2: get that same table, flip it and hit you as well.
Speaker 2: We're gonna be even in this situation. But that's scary,
Speaker 2: especially with the child, especially with the child with special needs.
Speaker 2: They need stability, you know what I mean. That's just
Speaker 2: chaos right there.
Speaker 1: So I guess after that is when she like was like,
Speaker 1: I'm going into a rental again, and he's just a
Speaker 1: complete piece of shit for not saying, well, actually, the
Speaker 1: two of you should stay in the house and I
Speaker 1: should go because he just doesn't take because it's Britney's
Speaker 1: fault because she sent a sexy video to somebody when
Speaker 1: they're separated and they had agreed it was okay, So
Speaker 1: it's been it's Britney's fault that he flipped the table.
Speaker 1: Any other guy would have done the same.
Speaker 2: See, well, no, any other guy would have said it's
Speaker 2: easier for me to pack up and go and stay
Speaker 2: in an apartment or something like that, and.
Speaker 3: You with a free anything here.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I mean he would be able to take
Speaker 2: his leaf blower with him if you were living in
Speaker 2: an apartment. How would he use his leaf blower every day?
Speaker 2: Mary Payne, He needs to do that. That's a form
Speaker 2: of therapy for him.
Speaker 1: So Brittany says, when g X is partying, it's way worse. Now,
Speaker 1: this is the you know, he's a cocad, you know, okay,
Speaker 1: And Michelle goes, yeah, I get it. She goes, well,
Speaker 1: Jesse's also going through a midlife crisis, like he's forty four,
Speaker 1: he should be calming down. But then Michelle doesn't understand
Speaker 1: what a midlife crisis is because that's what it means. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And you know, they they kept really picking up
Speaker 2: that forty five, forty five, forty five, So I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 2: sloiero bitch is on forty five. Y'all are making it
Speaker 2: seem like seventy five. And here's the thing for Jacks.
Speaker 2: You know, I have a theory about drugs.
Speaker 1: Mary paine.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, there's certain drugs that you could do when
Speaker 2: you're young. Okay, but once you hit thirty nine forty,
Speaker 2: you can no longer our hearts, our brains can no
Speaker 2: longer function properly with You cannot do cocaine and meth
Speaker 2: when you're in your forties. Let's just disclaim you should
Speaker 2: know them at all, shouldn't do it anyway. But the
Speaker 2: order that you get the chance is stuff you haveving
Speaker 2: a heart attack and a stroke from the drug usage
Speaker 2: goes way. Wait wait wait, wait, wait up, you just
Speaker 2: weed when you're in your forties.
Speaker 1: And Jackson has had two, maybe three full nose jobs.
Speaker 2: And he is because of this is I'm thinking it's
Speaker 2: because of the coke.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's always like, oh yeah, I've got allergies, and
Speaker 1: we're like, I mean everybody's been like allergies.
Speaker 2: Yeah, allergies.
Speaker 1: You know for years people have been like, Okay, nobody
Speaker 1: has again that many he knows jobs, unless you're Stevie
Speaker 1: Nick because you've burned so many holes to your nose. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Oh, poor jack he's gonna have like not a nose.
Speaker 2: He's gonna be going around look like Boldemort. Because you
Speaker 2: like yesned away everything. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So Michelle is telling Brittany about her new man, Aaron.
Speaker 1: He's amazing. He doesn't talk down to me. And Brittany's like,
Speaker 1: what's that like? And she says, he just brightens my day.
Speaker 1: He's genuine and so great. And I saw Jesse, I
Speaker 1: believe after the Valley was over on Watch What Happens Live,
Speaker 1: saying like he was in such a great place with
Speaker 1: his girlfriend. He knew Michelle was in a great place
Speaker 1: and it seemed to be okay. But he's starting out
Speaker 1: here maybe not so much. She tells Brittany, you know
Speaker 1: last year I was so sad like all the time.
Speaker 1: And Brittany goes, I saw that. I get it, And
Speaker 1: we see some clips from that. All right, Janet goes
Speaker 1: to a plant store to meet with Brittany. Now, the
Speaker 1: guy working at the plant store was really trying to
Speaker 1: get some screen time. Really, he was really in there.
Speaker 2: Should Yes, that's he should.
Speaker 1: And they look at some plants and the guy goes, well,
Speaker 1: the thing because they're making like these little terrariums, right yeah,
Speaker 1: And he goes, the thing about that is you can't
Speaker 1: pick that when it's going to be six feet tall
Speaker 1: and they joke about. She goes, I can ease somebody
Speaker 1: over six feet tall in my life. Wait it is
Speaker 1: Jack's not tall, he's like five nine. Oh yeah, okay, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: And Brittany goes, yeah, somebody who doesn't have to wear
Speaker 1: heels and their shoes.
Speaker 3: Ooh, that's a good one.
Speaker 1: That's a good one because he was always Jack and
Speaker 1: Tom cruise yeah exactly. So they're making the terrarium in
Speaker 1: her phone ring, She's like, he's Jacks. I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: get it, and Janet says that her talking head. She goes,
Speaker 1: I just want Brittany to have fun. She's always down
Speaker 1: to have fun. She's the girl that's like, do you
Speaker 1: want to order to Taco bell.
Speaker 3: Three in the morning?
Speaker 1: Yes, you know. Brittany is the girl that always was
Speaker 1: the most fun. And that is true throughout all the
Speaker 1: seasons of vander Pump when she came around, nobody has
Speaker 1: ever said one word about Brittany ever Rever. Everybody is like, well,
Speaker 1: obviously he doesn't deserve her. But they're like, they're like,
Speaker 1: believe me, when they get divorced, everybody's keeping Brittany.
Speaker 3: And getting rid of Jackson, even though they've known Jackson
Speaker 3: twenty years.
Speaker 1: They're like everybody has always loved her the most. It's
Speaker 1: like she just needs some happiness in her life. The
Speaker 1: only problem ever that has ever been with Brittany is
Speaker 1: because Stossi and Bo, her husband got married, like during
Speaker 1: COVID in the backyard, she was pregnant and they couldn't
Speaker 1: have this wedding in Italy. So when they did their
Speaker 1: like redo wedding in Italy, you know after I think
Speaker 1: they had the second kid by then maybe or maybe
Speaker 1: they had the second kid right after, but it was
Speaker 1: an Italian wedding. It was you know, invite only they
Speaker 1: had an exact number of people, right because it's in Italy, right,
Speaker 1: and very literally the day that Jackson and Brittany were
Speaker 1: just to fly to Italy to go to the wedding
Speaker 1: because they were invited, they canceled. It didn't come. I
Speaker 1: mean Stassy and were like those two other people we
Speaker 1: could have invited. Yeah, I'm sorry, balloons guys, if you're
Speaker 1: watching a video on those two other people they could
Speaker 1: have invited, and that was two spots they took from
Speaker 1: somebody else, and that the day and they knew that
Speaker 1: Jack's was like planning to not come because it was
Speaker 1: in like a group text that he didn't realize Bo
Speaker 1: was in and was like, Oh, we're totally not going
Speaker 1: to that. And then when Brittany like texted Saucy and
Speaker 1: they were very good friends, sexitter was like, you know,
Speaker 1: we can't come there. First it was they couldn't get
Speaker 1: a babysitter, her mom couldn't come to babysit the kid,
Speaker 1: and then it was like what they didn't get Cruise's
Speaker 1: passport in time? They had two different uses, but Jack
Speaker 1: had already said in the group chat, oh we're not
Speaker 1: doing that. And so that is the only problem anybody
Speaker 1: has ever had with Brittany, and one hundred percent of
Speaker 1: Jacks's fault really even her and Brittany like yeah, but
Speaker 1: Brittany like took the fall for it, you know, because
Speaker 1: she's like protect.
Speaker 3: My man, my man, my man.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I hope that Btny and Saucy can come back to
Speaker 1: being friends, you know, because I mean.
Speaker 3: Saucy dated Jacks for like four years, so she knows
Speaker 3: what he's like.
Speaker 1: You know, who is he not dated? We'll see, well
Speaker 1: he's fucked Kristen. Uh, let's see who is he not
Speaker 1: dated or who is he not banged. Let me tell
Speaker 1: you something. Season one, to vander Pump Rules, Jack's hot.
Speaker 2: He's what? Oh was he? Okay?
Speaker 1: Okay, I I and I have no estrogen in my body.
Speaker 1: I was hot for him. Okay, that'll tell you something.
Speaker 1: Season one, Jack's hot. Okay. So Janet asks Britney, does
Speaker 1: Jax know that he needs help?
Speaker 3: Like is he on board to get help? And she goes, yeah.
Speaker 1: Sometimes he'll say that he does, and then other times
Speaker 1: he'll say I'm Jack Taylor and I can do what
Speaker 1: I want. Yep, that's what he says. Swear to god,
Speaker 1: she said. Now he's spiraling because I'm having this white party.
Speaker 1: So he's going to have a rival party, which was
Speaker 1: funny because like nobody that is so immature, like it's
Speaker 1: so housewives.
Speaker 2: That's yeah, but he's not a housewife, nor is he
Speaker 2: a woman if that's such a bitchy thing to do.
Speaker 3: He's so petty and bitchy and yeah.
Speaker 1: So in the talking head, Brittany's like, I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: focus my whole summer on him. I'm gonna find myself again.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have fun. I'm all have this white party.
Speaker 1: Plus we're filming and so that'll be good for filming. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, Zach and Nia meet up. Okay, Nia gets
Speaker 1: to hold the alcohol drink because that's just how she is,
Speaker 1: and Zach gets it. She does, but like she'll have
Speaker 1: like one or two drinks, I mean, but really not
Speaker 1: not more than that. So just making sure that I
Speaker 1: don't need to move something because Anna just open the
Speaker 1: door for the dogs to come in. So if I
Speaker 1: have to jump up, that means because Violet's probably gonna
Speaker 1: try to grab that pencil. If I had to guess,
Speaker 1: hold on, I get Anna, will you come grab this
Speaker 1: pencil off this table? So if Violet jumps up there,
Speaker 1: she won't get it. Okay, that is Hey, sut, okay, sure,
Speaker 1: Oh your shirt is so cute.
Speaker 3: Hey show that shirt on the camera. Okay, all right, let's.
Speaker 2: See what's his say.
Speaker 3: Can you see the dogs on it?
Speaker 2: That's so cute.
Speaker 3: Those are not our dogs.
Speaker 1: That was just a shirt I found in Oxford, Mississippi,
Speaker 1: at a store called Shades, and those two dogs were
Speaker 1: on the back of it.
Speaker 2: Now look at that. God, so I just.
Speaker 1: Bought three of them. Cute, Fine, thank you, what, I
Speaker 1: love you, goodbye. Not like recording a show or anything. Okay,
Speaker 1: So all right, so Zach and Nia meet up. No,
Speaker 1: I think she doesn't drink very much as you saw
Speaker 1: last season, like she would have one or two drinks.
Speaker 1: She's just feeding, yes, yeah, and then leaking through and
Speaker 1: bless her heart.
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Speaker 2: Do.
Speaker 1: You have thoughts on Zach's hair because a lot of
Speaker 1: people think it's not real hair.
Speaker 3: I think that's his real hair. It's just a shit
Speaker 3: hair real hair.
Speaker 2: Especially if he's from Kentuck. That's just they have big hair.
Speaker 3: Like I think he just has a lot of hair
Speaker 3: and doesn't know how to.
Speaker 2: I think he does too. Yeah, yeah, I don't think
Speaker 2: it's fake at all.
Speaker 1: Last season he said that his hair was so big
Speaker 1: because they said, oh, we're going to start filming in
Speaker 1: like two weeks, and then they're like, actually, now we're
Speaker 1: going to start filming like on Friday, and he didn't
Speaker 1: have time to get a haircut, and then he wasn't
Speaker 1: allowed to change it once they started filming.
Speaker 2: You know, Oh that would suck.
Speaker 1: Yeah, He's like, no, and now i'd have to stay
Speaker 1: like lego hair because he does have lego hair. Yeah
Speaker 1: he does, all right. So they talk about the situation
Speaker 1: with Jack's and when did you last see Brittany?
Speaker 3: And he is like, yeah, the whole situation with that
Speaker 3: is really scary.
Speaker 1: And Zach says, I, you know, he's been friends with
Speaker 1: Brittany since they were young, and he says, I've seen
Speaker 1: Jack's behavior get progressively worse and worse and worse. So
Speaker 1: they're all dancing around this cocaine problem and not saying it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're alluding to it for the camera.
Speaker 1: I don't know if they have made a pact, like
Speaker 1: if say what it is, we're not gonna say okay.
Speaker 1: And they're just saying he's partying, he's raging, he's behavior
Speaker 1: and d but they're not saying he's coked out.
Speaker 2: I mean yeah, I mean partying and raging. Either he's
Speaker 2: coked out or he's on steroids, well one or the other.
Speaker 1: Like so we're gonna he used to do that back
Speaker 1: in the day with Sassy. He was always on these
Speaker 1: like steroid oh brote shakes this stuff, and she's always
Speaker 1: like you gotta you gotta stop with that, like it's
Speaker 1: making you nuts.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've never even heard of a steroid protein. Well
Speaker 2: he was.
Speaker 1: He was just always using those like pump you up.
Speaker 1: Powders and stuff and a lot of people. I think
Speaker 1: he's also just doing steroids because he was so like
Speaker 1: cut and ripped.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this guy is a walking heart attack. Yes, or
Speaker 2: he's gonna have irrectile dysfunction from all this shit he's
Speaker 2: doing to his wife. I know, like this is not good.
Speaker 1: So Christen arrives and says, sounds like I don't want
Speaker 1: to talk about this the whole time. I gotta get
Speaker 1: a skinny margarita, WHI salt because I don't want to
Speaker 1: talk about Jack's or so and the talking het Kristin says,
Speaker 1: no one has ever said Jacks is a good guy.
Speaker 1: I've seen him treat his girlfriend like shit. I've seen
Speaker 1: him cheat on every girl he's ever been around. He
Speaker 1: has anger issues, but I've never seen him do anything
Speaker 1: like what he did to Britney. Again, they're not saying
Speaker 1: what really happened here? I think, Yeah, I think something
Speaker 1: more happened. Put his hands on her, That's what it
Speaker 1: sounds like to me. It doesn't sound like he flipped
Speaker 1: a coffee table and it hit her knee. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: I think he did something else. So also, okay, So
Speaker 1: if you didn't watch vander Pump. Then this maybe didn't
Speaker 1: hit you like it hit me, because when Jackson was
Speaker 1: dating Stassy for all those years, he cheated on Stassy
Speaker 1: with Kristin who was her best friend Christine.
Speaker 2: I did hear something about that.
Speaker 1: Kristin was in a long term relationship with Jacks's best friend,
Speaker 1: Tom sanderbal right, and they banged the whole they bang.
Speaker 1: They banged when Tom Sandoval was asleep in the other
Speaker 1: room Kristen and Jack's. And then that's when you see
Speaker 1: the slap when Saucy slaps Kristen that you see all
Speaker 1: the times, like she just backhands he.
Speaker 2: Sheesus, okay, which you know, they nasty.
Speaker 1: We were here for you, and he goes, okay, let'sn't
Speaker 1: talk about Jacks. We don't want to give him all
Speaker 1: our energy, okay. So then Kristen goes, yeah, here's something weird.
Speaker 1: A friend of mine ran into Janet at Pilate's and
Speaker 1: she was like, oh, Kristin and I were great, everything's wonderful,
Speaker 1: everything's good. Like what is she talking about? So Zach
Speaker 1: reminds us that he said some bad things to Janet,
Speaker 1: and he says, I take full responsibility for what I said,
Speaker 1: I take full responsibility for my actions. Just dead stop,
Speaker 1: nothing else how you're supposed to. Yes, And then we
Speaker 1: see a clip of Janet on Gibson John's podcast gabbing
Speaker 1: with kid. Gibson is my friend, okay, I said him
Speaker 1: a screenshot. I was like, what the fuck? And he
Speaker 1: said the scream that I scrumped. He said he had
Speaker 1: no idea that was going to be on there, and
Speaker 1: he goes, wow, he said.
Speaker 3: The scream that I screamed.
Speaker 1: When I saw it, I was dying And I said,
Speaker 1: don't forget the little people when.
Speaker 2: Because that's huge right there.
Speaker 1: Huge. I was like for him, I was like, Gibson,
Speaker 1: he was like, can you believe that shit?
Speaker 2: So and to not know that it's gonna even be
Speaker 2: on there? Yeah, right.
Speaker 1: So Geanet says, you know I heard Zach and Kristen
Speaker 1: both were saying they hoped like my baby didn't come
Speaker 1: to full term, like they were hoping I didn't have
Speaker 1: a healthy job. Like that is a fucked up thing
Speaker 1: to say. But they didn't say that, not like that. No,
Speaker 1: they're not like that. It was like, I don't care
Speaker 1: that she's pregnant, you know what I mean, She didn't
Speaker 1: care she was pregnant either.
Speaker 2: Because she's like, I can't, I can't deal with all this.
Speaker 2: She was like, bitch, you are a part of this stress,
Speaker 2: like you're doing it to your own body, Like it's
Speaker 2: not just them. You're not caring, Like the amount of
Speaker 2: not caring that you're talking about that they're doing, you're
Speaker 2: doing the same exact thing, so come on. And they
Speaker 2: did not say anything about a miscarriage unless I had
Speaker 2: totally zoned out, which I don't think that I did.
Speaker 2: No one said that. He just said, bitch, I don't
Speaker 2: care that you're.
Speaker 1: Pregnant, Like, yeah, yes, I get it, Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1: And Zak and Janet, you know, are between Zach Jack.
Speaker 1: But Zach and Janet and Jack's like trying to say
Speaker 1: that three times, between Zach and Jack's and Janet, between
Speaker 1: them and Christen, they're all shit, sirs.
Speaker 2: They are, yes, But Janet is the scary kind because
Speaker 2: she's behind the scene doing the dirty work. Yeah you
Speaker 2: know what I mean, Like that's always the scariest person.
Speaker 2: And Zach clocked her shit and I read it.
Speaker 1: I read read it.
Speaker 2: I read it.
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, the baby is here, and he's perfect
Speaker 1: and adorable.
Speaker 2: So we can't use that anymore, and not at all.
Speaker 2: I would love to hear what this excuse is going
Speaker 2: to be this year.
Speaker 1: I baby aby the talking to head. Kristen goes, look,
Speaker 1: you know, Janet and I weren't great. We see a
Speaker 1: bunch of clips and of course you know, and of
Speaker 1: course Janet knows about my fertility journey, how been trying
Speaker 1: to get pregnant. And just because I don't like Janet
Speaker 1: doesn't mean I don't like her child. It doesn't mean
Speaker 1: I would ever say something like that, you know. Right,
Speaker 1: So back at the table, Zack laughs about how Janet
Speaker 1: was tracking him to see where he was, and he says, look,
Speaker 1: here's the thing, Brittany is my person. Brittany is my person,
Speaker 1: and I don't understand how Brittany would let this woman
Speaker 1: play that boring pants come between us. And basically he's like,
Speaker 1: Brittany is a little scared of Janet, and we all are.
Speaker 1: Actually let's just tell the truth.
Speaker 2: But why, I don't know.
Speaker 1: She's pretty mean. She's pretty mean. And also in this
Speaker 1: confessional with Zach, what the fuck is he wearing like
Speaker 1: in a pink islet shirt with a magic jacket.
Speaker 3: I'm like, what is this outfit.
Speaker 2: I don't know if he has the side of what
Speaker 2: his style is going to be. Is it going to
Speaker 2: be boy band because sometimes it's given a little bit
Speaker 2: of boy band point.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't think.
Speaker 2: I don't think. I don't think he knows.
Speaker 1: The pink islet's given a little like hairy styles, like
Speaker 1: a little ginger bending. I don't know. So now we're
Speaker 1: at Jesse's house and Kristin arrives and she says, pigs
Speaker 1: are flying, hell has frozen over. Jesse invited me to
Speaker 1: his house. Yes, so Jesse asked, Okay, how is Luke doing?
Speaker 1: And she's like, everything is fine. We see clips of
Speaker 1: all their fighting between Jesse and Kristen and all this right,
Speaker 1: and Jesse tells Kristen, look, you were right about almost everything,
Speaker 1: meaning like Michelle and all this, and he goes, it's
Speaker 1: subconsciously I knew it, and that led to anger and hatred,
Speaker 1: you know, on other people. And you didn't deserve for
Speaker 1: me to project like what I was mad about it
Speaker 1: my marriage onto you, and I take full accountability and
Speaker 1: I apologize the end.
Speaker 2: That's how you do it. That's how you do It's
Speaker 2: how it's done. Yep.
Speaker 1: Jesse talks about Isabelle's upcoming birthday party and he goes,
Speaker 1: I did invite Michelle and her new boyfriend Aaron, because
Speaker 1: like it's the birthday party, like, of course I want
Speaker 1: you to be there, and we you know, put it
Speaker 1: aside for the kid and the talking Eddie says, like,
Speaker 1: Kristen did allege that Michelle had had a boyfriend behind
Speaker 1: my back for a year, and if I find out
Speaker 1: that this guy Aaron was that boyfriend, then it's not
Speaker 1: going to go over well. Now, by the way, I
Speaker 1: think Kristin and everybody whoever was the boyfriend for a year,
Speaker 1: obviously they know who it is, of course they do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and was it Aaron? I don't know, it's going to
Speaker 1: be him. It's going to be good for you, Michelle.
Speaker 1: Go for it. So Kristen says, the apology really meant
Speaker 1: a lot, you know from Jesse, and he goes, it's
Speaker 1: an evolution. I'm growing, I'm growing and talking ahead. Christy goes,
Speaker 1: you know what, people should actually take a page out
Speaker 1: of Jesse's boo, like he apologized, he owns it, and
Speaker 1: we moved on, right.
Speaker 2: Well, does Kristen always look like she just stopped being drunk. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I mean that is just I'm like, she constantly looks
Speaker 2: like she just got over, like not like.
Speaker 1: A full blown hangover.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Okay, that's just that's just how she looks.
Speaker 1: When the scandalal happened and all the ship went down
Speaker 1: with Tom and Ariana, there was this last episode and
Speaker 1: Kristen is coming over Kristin who used to date Tom Sandabal,
Speaker 1: Ariana who dated Tom Sandabal. So Christy's coming over to
Speaker 1: like console Ariana as a friend, and the scene of
Speaker 1: her walking up she is in leggings like for exercise socks,
Speaker 1: and then like shower slides like Nike's shower slides, okay,
Speaker 1: and then like a T shirt and she's.
Speaker 3: Like, I'm here, I'm gonna light some stage.
Speaker 1: She always she always looks like shit. She is always
Speaker 1: like just look like she's been dragged through the mud.
Speaker 1: So I think you said, yeah, her looking like she
Speaker 1: just woke up or is recovering from a four day hangover?
Speaker 1: Is she always looks like yes?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Because I'm like, how does this girl always look
Speaker 2: like that? I mean during the professionals, when you've had
Speaker 2: a professional hairstyles and a professional makeup artist work on you. Yeah,
Speaker 2: of course you're gonna look better. But god damn are
Speaker 2: you are on television?
Speaker 1: Does she zero? She gives zero shits? Yes, okay, clearly
Speaker 1: that's what. That's how she has always been.
Speaker 2: Yeah, good to know, good to know.
Speaker 1: So so Jesse says, you know, it was it was
Speaker 1: not comfortable for me to see, you know, Michelle with
Speaker 1: Aaron or whatever. But it's not gonna be like team
Speaker 1: Jesse or team Michelle. Like I don't want that.
Speaker 2: Okay, good okay.
Speaker 1: Now, Nia and Danny parents of three. You go to
Speaker 1: brunch and they're like, we have three kids. We have
Speaker 1: no no daycare, no breaks, And he says, but you know,
Speaker 1: I'm too blessed to be stressed, you know. And then
Speaker 1: now I'm noticing when Dandy is talking he definitely got
Speaker 1: botox this last season because last season, his forehead, if
Speaker 1: you notice, was like very cro magnon, like down, I
Speaker 1: can't even do it, I got but it's way down
Speaker 1: and like a line across here, like heavy.
Speaker 3: Oka, and now it's very lifted.
Speaker 1: Definitely.
Speaker 2: It's just fascinating to me.
Speaker 1: I just yeah, I mean, but you just you just
Speaker 1: watched season one and you could remember what his head
Speaker 1: looked like.
Speaker 2: I didn't really take notice all that much. I just
Speaker 2: remember him talking about like all the good moisturizer and
Speaker 2: face skin care that he's been doing for like ever,
Speaker 2: and now we know it's just botox.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I didn't even know men really got botox.
Speaker 2: Like botox is so foreign to me.
Speaker 1: I will look at that, like you're so lucky.
Speaker 2: Well, how do you know how much you need? How
Speaker 2: do you know like where you need it?
Speaker 1: Like the doctor tells you. The doctor tells you. You
Speaker 1: don't like decide yourself. You go in and you go, hey,
Speaker 1: I want to do this, and they go, okay, we're
Speaker 1: going to do all this up here, all through here.
Speaker 1: We're gonna do this, and we'll do a little bit
Speaker 1: of this, we'll lift this or whatever.
Speaker 2: How do they charge you? Do they charge you by
Speaker 2: how much you need? Well, what if they're trying to
Speaker 2: fool you and overcharge you and you don't even need
Speaker 2: that much because they just want the money.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, then you just have to be in a
Speaker 1: doctor that you trust. It's not I just go in.
Speaker 1: I just pay whatever they tell me. So I am
Speaker 1: the target sucker. I'm the target sucker. Like they'll be like, okay,
Speaker 1: it's one thousand dollars or two hundred dollars. I'm like, okay, and.
Speaker 2: How long does it last?
Speaker 1: Six months? Unless you exercise a lot or you have
Speaker 1: super fast metabolism, then it lasts a shorter amount of
Speaker 1: time because your body will metabolize it really quickly. But
Speaker 1: luckily for me, I don't exercise at all, so I
Speaker 1: can really stretch it out. Me too.
Speaker 2: We're just blessed with these fabulous bodies.
Speaker 1: I don't have to exercise.
Speaker 2: Relly, yeah, Jilly.
Speaker 1: All right, guys, let's talk about laundry. I know it's
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Speaker 1: to receive the free dessert. Okay Na and Danny ad
Speaker 1: Brunch she's gotten botox, he's lifted his head up. Good
Speaker 1: for him, Okay, And they joke about having another baby,
Speaker 1: and she was like, I really want to have another one,
Speaker 1: Like I've already like ruined my body, so I may
Speaker 1: as well just get it.
Speaker 3: I mean, I kind of her theory is not bad.
Speaker 2: But she also has three kids already, right, but they
Speaker 2: want four. They want so they had Because he doesn't
Speaker 2: look like he's that sure about number four.
Speaker 1: I think he yeah. I mean I think they're very
Speaker 1: like they met at church. They're very religious. I think
Speaker 1: they want to have a bunch of kids. I think
Speaker 1: they yes, yeah, okay, good for them, And he goes yeah,
Speaker 1: he goes, look, here's the thing about having another baby,
Speaker 1: Like my son needs his own room, Like we need
Speaker 1: a new yard, we need space. And then he jokes,
Speaker 1: have you heard of Santa Clarita because that's where he
Speaker 1: wants to live. By the way, that's where Amie Phillips lives.
Speaker 1: I think it's beautiful. And she's like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to wait five years to have another baby, and my
Speaker 1: body's already ruined. I want to have one, be done
Speaker 1: and then get my body back to myself and He's
Speaker 1: like okay, and she goes, I'm ovulating in fourteen days.
Speaker 1: He's like, oh my god.
Speaker 2: They need a house. They they need a house.
Speaker 1: Pop don't need a house and a nanny or a
Speaker 1: relative to come and move in to help him.
Speaker 2: They they need a lot of things before they get
Speaker 2: pregnant again.
Speaker 1: Yeah, her mom was around a lot last year. I
Speaker 1: don't know where she was staying all right.
Speaker 2: Not there, not there, unless she was sleeping on the couch. H.
Speaker 1: So Nia and Danny go over to Janet and Jason's
Speaker 1: house and I forgot that Janet was married before because
Speaker 1: she has some china out and they make a joke
Speaker 1: about the china and she goes, oh, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: this is from the first marriage I kept. I kind
Speaker 1: of forgot. I kind of forgot about that. But they're
Speaker 1: going to their pregaming before Britney's White party.
Speaker 2: Mm hm.
Speaker 1: So Danny and Jason talk about the boys chat, like
Speaker 1: their group chat, and how Jack's is like getting mad
Speaker 1: at them in the group chat because they're going to
Speaker 1: Britney's party. And they asked the girls, have you looked
Speaker 1: in the boys group chat? And they're like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: dipped in there one time, like, it's disgusting. So I
Speaker 1: got out. I don't want to I don't want to
Speaker 1: be in the boys chat.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: So talking to Jason, says, you know, I can understand
Speaker 1: why Jax would be upset by what Julian did. They were,
Speaker 1: you know, close friends for like a year. I was like,
Speaker 1: they were close friends for a year. What are they
Speaker 1: like koke d buddies? What do you mean?
Speaker 2: Okay, So this Julius Julian person was not from vander
Speaker 2: Pump rules.
Speaker 3: No, I've never seen him before.
Speaker 2: You've never seen him? Okay, all right?
Speaker 1: And he says they were close friends for about a year.
Speaker 1: But I cannot condone acting aggressively towards Britney after finding out.
Speaker 1: You're a man, you're a father. You have to be
Speaker 1: able to regulate your emotions. Again, we're not saying what
Speaker 1: really happened.
Speaker 2: Yep, but we are most definitely reading in between those lines. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So they joke that the Jacks party tonight will just
Speaker 1: be him and Schwartz. So we go off to Jackson's
Speaker 1: Bar to where I've been to I have been to
Speaker 1: Jackson's Bar. Okay, and uh, he greets Bert, Tom's brother.
Speaker 1: Now Tom Schwartz arrives. Bert is his brother. Bert had
Speaker 1: severe liver issues due to his alcoholism and it had
Speaker 1: a liver transplant. So I think Bert. I think Bert
Speaker 1: is now living in LA with Schwartz. Okay, okay, Bert
Speaker 1: is a triplet. Billy Burton brandow R. Tom Schwartz is
Speaker 1: triplet brothers.
Speaker 2: Are they identical triplets or yes?
Speaker 1: Oh wow, okay, yes that's me.
Speaker 2: I've never met triplets before.
Speaker 1: And that crazy said there's there's a sister, then there's
Speaker 1: Tom Schwartz, and then there's Billy Burton Brandon, the three brothers.
Speaker 2: In that crazy that's arizing. Yeah, find out your last
Speaker 2: Like let's say you you're like, okay, this is my
Speaker 2: last pregnancy. We've got two kids, let's have one more
Speaker 2: and then you get three. Yeah, I'm gonna well, wish too.
Speaker 2: Were staying at the hospital. I'm looking for.
Speaker 3: One which one is the cutest.
Speaker 2: Kiddest because that's a lot of kids. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So, and they also between Billy, Burt Brandon, Tom Schwartz
Speaker 1: and the sister, they also have three half siblings. So
Speaker 1: I don't know if the dad remarried and then had
Speaker 1: three more kids.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of kids. That's a lot of children.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of children.
Speaker 3: No wonder he left.
Speaker 1: So oh no, no, I've said Schwartz and okay, Minnesota
Speaker 1: or wherever he's from. So he Schwartz says, his dad
Speaker 1: this past year, his dad almost out of a blood
Speaker 1: clot and then the other brother, Brandon, had cancer. And
Speaker 1: then of course we know Bert was a severe alcoholic
Speaker 1: and had to have a liver transplant. So I mean,
Speaker 1: Tom Schwartz has been through a lot and he and
Speaker 1: he and Katie got divorced. So we see a couple
Speaker 1: of other guys at Jackson's bar, but it's not a party, so.
Speaker 2: Because everyone's at Britney's party, that's right.
Speaker 1: So in the car, Janet says, I've really missed Kristen
Speaker 1: because they've been they have been really good friends for
Speaker 1: a long time. And she says, and it's been a
Speaker 1: while since I saw Kristin and Zach And you know,
Speaker 1: I don't think, you know, we could be besties right
Speaker 1: away or anything, but hopefully we can just get along
Speaker 1: and lower the tension in the group.
Speaker 2: Well, Janet did them dirty last season. Always always, She's
Speaker 2: not admitting to it at all, She's.
Speaker 1: Just like it's been a long time since I've seen them.
Speaker 1: She acts like she had no hand in anything, you know.
Speaker 2: Does Jason not realize that his wife is kind of
Speaker 2: a piece of shit?
Speaker 1: He realized she's a shit sterer. He said, she quit
Speaker 1: her job and became a full time gossip. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we should get t shirts to say that full
Speaker 4: time gossip for yes, I like that occupation, full time
Speaker 4: goss industry gossip.
Speaker 1: That. So they all arrive at the white party. It's
Speaker 1: at a place called Level eight. It looks like kind
Speaker 1: of like a rooftop pull party situation. Aaron and Michelle
Speaker 1: are there, Jesse arrives and in the talk of head
Speaker 1: she goes, things aren't good with Jesse. He gives me
Speaker 1: the ick.
Speaker 2: For Jesse. He gives me the ICKX.
Speaker 1: Tom and Jack's Schwartz and Jack's are talking at Jackson's
Speaker 1: bar and they're like, how's how's it going with Schwartz
Speaker 1: and Sandy's over there, and he goes, everything is great.
Speaker 1: Well it's currently closed. Spoiler alert, I also went to
Speaker 1: that bar. Tom says, okay, so how are you? And
Speaker 1: Jack's like, oh man, you know, like thanks are fine,
Speaker 1: and he says, you know, Brittany talked to me the
Speaker 1: other night and we had a real heart to heart
Speaker 1: and she doesn't feel comfortable to even be in the
Speaker 1: room with you Jack's. And Jess goes, yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: like I have anger and I didn't know how to
Speaker 1: let it out. And Tom goes, because they've known these things,
Speaker 1: they used to be roommates, like they've done each other
Speaker 1: for years. And Tom goes, I gotta tell you, man,
Speaker 1: like I didn't even know you were capable of that
Speaker 1: kind of behavior. Again, I'm sure Tom Schwartzen knows that
Speaker 1: Jack's is capable of kicking over a coffee table.
Speaker 3: So when, yeah, what are we not saying?
Speaker 2: It's it's we're just assuming here, but that it was
Speaker 2: more of a domestic violence situation.
Speaker 3: Yes, Like I don't know if the cops are called,
Speaker 3: I don't know what.
Speaker 2: But obviously now I don't know why Brittany did not
Speaker 2: beat his ass. I don't know why she didn't kick
Speaker 2: him the nose, you know, because promoting domestic violence but
Speaker 2: not trying to. But I'm just like, hm, if a
Speaker 2: guy puts her hands on me, like we're gonna be fighting,
Speaker 2: Like I may lose the fight, but I'm not about
Speaker 2: to let you just beat on me like that.
Speaker 1: That is crazy. Yeah, and she's letting everybody know, everybody
Speaker 1: know what happened without saying it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, without seeing it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So Jax goes, look, man, another guy infiltrated my marriage.
Speaker 1: Imagine seeing pictures of your wife naked sending them to
Speaker 1: another guy and he was my friend. And Tom, what
Speaker 1: is in your phone?
Speaker 2: Jackson? Jacks, I would love to know what's in Jesus
Speaker 2: your photos. I would probably vomit as some of the
Speaker 2: things that are in there.
Speaker 1: And uh, and she goes and he was my friend.
Speaker 1: And Tom goes, yeah, I get it. Your feelings are valid,
Speaker 1: but the.
Speaker 3: Way you reacted is not vallible.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it just Jess goes yeah. Yeah. But you know,
Speaker 1: she she flies off the handle all the time, you know,
Speaker 1: and she's so hypocritical, and she's just so hot and cold.
Speaker 1: And you know, she was at my house the other
Speaker 1: night all alone and we almost hooked up, Like she
Speaker 1: wants her cake and eat it too. Tom is just
Speaker 1: looking at him, like, I have known you long enough
Speaker 1: to know that not one word that comes out of
Speaker 1: your mouth is truth. Tom is just looking at him like,
Speaker 1: are you done? We know that after whatever happened that
Speaker 1: you're not saying she did not come to.
Speaker 3: Your house and try to hook up with you.
Speaker 1: Shut up, I mean you know so Tom goes, uh, man,
Speaker 1: you are headed towards rock bottom with your recent behavior,
Speaker 1: and I feel like if you don't seek some sort
Speaker 1: of counseling or some sort of therapy, and jess Be
Speaker 1: goes yeah, like like, yeah, I have a little boy,
Speaker 1: Like I have a kid who's supposed to look up
Speaker 1: to me like a hero, and I'm going off the
Speaker 1: fucking rails man, like I'm in such a bad place,
Speaker 1: Like it's so hard to go home to an empty
Speaker 1: house and I walk past my child's room and Tom goes, yeah,
Speaker 1: no excuse, man, no excuse.
Speaker 2: Well, if your ass had had gotten a one bedroom apartment,
Speaker 2: you wouldn't have to write by walking past your child's
Speaker 2: bedroom and it's empty, Like.
Speaker 1: I really liked how over and over Jax does what
Speaker 1: he's been doing since we've known him. Witches, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: was wrong, but I gotta go to this empty house.
Speaker 1: It's so sad, and you know, oh, yeah, if I'm
Speaker 1: so bad, why was she trying to fuck me?
Speaker 3: But I was wrong?
Speaker 1: And also, you know, if I was so wrong, then
Speaker 1: you know why she marry me. He just cannot say
Speaker 1: I was wrong and leave it at that. He's three
Speaker 1: times a twelve or thirteen year old boy. Yes, every time, yes,
Speaker 1: every time he talks. I appreciate that. Tom Schwartz is
Speaker 1: there to go, yeah, but you did this, and then
Speaker 1: he's going boo boo boo, and he goes, there's no excuse,
Speaker 1: there's no excuse, man, and Jess goes, yeah, yeah, and
Speaker 1: then he like cries and goes, I'm forty four years old, man,
Speaker 1: what's wrong with me? And he cried, what a lot?
Speaker 1: Quit making excuses for your behavior.
Speaker 2: Well, let's work on the drug problem. Let's start yes,
Speaker 2: let's start there.
Speaker 1: Let's get sober.
Speaker 2: Let's start there. Let's get sober. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's
Speaker 2: because nothing else is gonna work if you keep going
Speaker 2: back to coke.
Speaker 1: Right, it's not yeah, all right. So now we go
Speaker 1: back to the white party because nothing's happening at Jackson's party,
Speaker 1: and Jesse says, okay, so Aaron, he didn't like me
Speaker 1: that much. And then we see Michelle and Jesse go
Speaker 1: back in fourth about spoiling Isabella. Well, if you didn't
Speaker 1: do this, believe you didn't do that, or if you
Speaker 1: didn't do this, if you didn't do that. Kristen says,
Speaker 1: I haven't talked. She's talking to Jasmine. She says, no,
Speaker 1: I haven't talked to Janet at all, and then Janet appears.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I won't say mane jump scare what right?
Speaker 1: So they sit to talk and Janet is talking to
Speaker 1: Kristen and says, look, I don't want to let last summer.
Speaker 1: You know, we've had so many fun years before that
Speaker 1: we don't need to let last summer ruin this, which
Speaker 1: is sort of a trope of vander Pump rules. They
Speaker 1: always talked about last summer, last summer because they filmed
Speaker 1: the summer, so it's sort of like, I guess it's
Speaker 1: like a summerhouse. I guess because I don't watch the Summerhouse,
Speaker 1: but I think it's the same idea of like, well,
Speaker 1: last summer, you did this. I did what you did
Speaker 1: last summer got you. So Jane's like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to let what happened last summer ruin it because we've
Speaker 1: had so many fun years together and I want to
Speaker 1: find a way to sort of get back to that
Speaker 1: having fun. And Kristen goes. Look, I'm a little reluctant, okay,
Speaker 1: because after the summer you went at me hard. Yeah,
Speaker 1: real hard, like you said on Gibson's podcast you said
Speaker 1: I didn't want your baby to be full term, Like
Speaker 1: I never said that, Jad it goes, Yeah, I should
Speaker 1: apologize for that. Yeah, well you can't.
Speaker 2: Like you put it on a podcast, and I've never
Speaker 2: heard of this podcast, but I'm assuming it's pretty popular
Speaker 2: if they mentioned it on the show. Yeah, yeah, Okay.
Speaker 1: That doesn't give me. Gibson is just very known in
Speaker 1: the Bravo world as like a writer and kind of
Speaker 1: a because he's very like normal and fair and a
Speaker 1: great guy. And fun fact about Gibson John's He's from
Speaker 1: DC and his parents founded Scout bags kind of like
Speaker 1: this scout If I sent you a picture of one,
Speaker 1: you can know exactly what it is. There's just like
Speaker 1: like storage bags.
Speaker 2: Hold on, was he recently on.
Speaker 1: This podcast? Yes, he's been on my podcast a lot. No,
Speaker 1: not your Pain, It's not sorry.
Speaker 2: We's he on Kate and Tyler from Teen Mom? Was
Speaker 2: he on there? I think I don't know that's him
Speaker 2: because I think I remember hand the word GiB.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know if he ever talks about teen Mom,
Speaker 1: but maybe he does. I thought he mostly did Bravo.
Speaker 2: But I'm gonna have to go back, and look, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna have to go back. I can be completely wrong.
Speaker 2: It just sounded kind of familiar.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Gibson John's he's my Nantuncket friend. He's guy, he's
Speaker 1: my friend that's gonna like help me one day achieve
Speaker 1: my dream of going to Nantucket because he.
Speaker 3: Goes there every summer. Yeah, he lives in New York.
Speaker 3: He's a great guy.
Speaker 2: You achieved that dream.
Speaker 3: I'm trying.
Speaker 1: So okay, baby blah blah blah.
Speaker 2: And Jenna, there's no coming back from that. Sorry from
Speaker 2: saying I don't want your baby to So there's no
Speaker 2: coming back from that. Nope.
Speaker 1: So Janet goes, yeah, like I should apologize for that,
Speaker 1: and she goes, look, Britney, Brittany told me that Zach
Speaker 1: said to Brittany, I don't care if she miscarries, and
Speaker 1: that was fucked up.
Speaker 2: But he didn't say that.
Speaker 3: To our knowledge.
Speaker 1: She did not say I don't care if she wascarious.
Speaker 1: I think what he said was I don't give a
Speaker 1: fuck if she's pregnantgnant. Yeah, So Kristin goes, yeah, I agree, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's fucked up, but I didn't say that, and and
Speaker 1: she goes, and if he said that, it doesn't matter,
Speaker 1: I'm never going to drop him as my best friend.
Speaker 1: And Jane goes, Okay, I'm sorry I roped you in
Speaker 1: with Zach's demonic behavior. And she says, you know, it's
Speaker 1: hard to separate the two things, like what Zach did
Speaker 1: or whatever, and Kristen goes, well, can you apologize to me?
Speaker 1: And j I don't know. It's hard because the two
Speaker 1: of you were together, and Kristen goes, so you don't
Speaker 1: have anything to apologize for. Now. I'm kind of getting
Speaker 1: the feeling that maybe we're wrong, and maybe Zach did
Speaker 1: say that.
Speaker 2: We did well, well, we can only go by what
Speaker 2: we heard. Yeah, and we did not hear him say
Speaker 2: that at all. We just heard him say I don't
Speaker 2: give a shit about her being pregnant. Yeah, so, but
Speaker 2: we know Kristen mostly definitely definitely did not say that.
Speaker 1: I did not say that. So we get some clips
Speaker 1: about jam in it saying Christen's head, Michelle's a racist,
Speaker 1: and Jaz was like, what the fuck? And also Luke.
Speaker 1: We get this clip of Luke telling Kristen just say
Speaker 1: you're sorry. Don't say I am sorry, but just say
Speaker 1: I am sorry. I am sorry is a sentence. And
Speaker 1: Kristen's like, but so these two part ways Janet and Kristen,
Speaker 1: and Janet goes, okay, we're not gonna in the words
Speaker 1: of Sean Robinson, we're not going to solve this today.
Speaker 3: And I wish you were.
Speaker 1: And you know, they're both tearing up, So no, it
Speaker 1: didn't go well.
Speaker 2: If they're both tearing up, that means that there's still
Speaker 2: a possibility that they could, yeah, get back together.
Speaker 1: And was he somebody telling Zach, oh, did you know
Speaker 1: you're the demonic best friend? He's like, what because they
Speaker 1: call na called him?
Speaker 2: I mean, if he really did say, hey, that is
Speaker 2: so that's pretty demonic, that's pretty bad.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I like him, so I really hope he
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Speaker 1: standing by the pool, Zach says we should all have
Speaker 1: a spot a and Michelle then talks to which means
Speaker 1: the we'll probably see that next week. Michelle talks to
Speaker 1: Jesse about we got to get our daughter into like
Speaker 1: the best schools or whatever, and he goes, Okay, well,
Speaker 1: why don't we look everywhere? Why don't we even look
Speaker 1: like at Orange County? And she goes, so you want
Speaker 1: him to go to school and our you want Isabella
Speaker 1: to go to school in Orange County because you've been
Speaker 1: dating a girl from the OC for a few months.
Speaker 2: So how far away is Orange County from where they live?
Speaker 3: Forty five minutes to an hour?
Speaker 2: Some people drive their kids that far for a good school.
Speaker 3: I don't think anybody The LA traffic is so bad.
Speaker 2: It is so bad by LA traffic.
Speaker 1: Okay, LA traffic is so bad that forty five minutes
Speaker 1: without traffic is a two and a half hour morning
Speaker 1: commute to take a kid to school. So no, you'd
Speaker 1: have to move, okay to Orange County.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: So she's like, Okay, so you want him to go
Speaker 1: to school in Orange County just because you've been dating
Speaker 1: a girl there for a few months. Okay No, And
Speaker 1: in the talking head she goes, he's just trying to
Speaker 1: get revenge on me, and he's gonna like use this
Speaker 1: school thing as the way. So they go back and
Speaker 1: forth fighting about like custody, and he's like, you won't
Speaker 1: get it. You won't get full custody. And she was like,
Speaker 1: if you want to move to Newport, which is where
Speaker 1: Kyksey lives, if you want to move to Newport, we're
Speaker 1: going to have to go to court. And he just
Speaker 1: laughs in her face because he's very condescending to her
Speaker 1: and the talking here's the thing.
Speaker 2: We have to remember that this woman did cheat on
Speaker 2: this man. Okay, Okay, so he has a right to
Speaker 2: be a little bit petty because I would be petty
Speaker 2: did a motherfucker? I would be petty for how long
Speaker 2: did you cheat on me?
Speaker 1: A whole year?
Speaker 2: Okay? Time's two, but that is how long I'm going
Speaker 2: to be petty.
Speaker 1: But do you've remember from last season she told him,
Speaker 1: I do not want to be married to you. I
Speaker 1: want to separate, and he refused, refused, so she said, like,
Speaker 1: I do not want to be married. She told him
Speaker 1: she wanted to separate, and he begged her to stay,
Speaker 1: that he would change, and he did not change.
Speaker 2: I do, okay, and I get that, but she still
Speaker 2: cheated on him. I know the tables were reversed. We
Speaker 2: would totally hate him. He would be the biggest piece
Speaker 2: of shit because he cheated on her.
Speaker 1: That's true, But I think that she was like, I'm
Speaker 1: telling you what it is. I don't think we should
Speaker 1: be together. I would like to get divorced unless I
Speaker 1: can see some real change. And he said I'm going
Speaker 1: to change, and he did nothing to change. And she
Speaker 1: said all they ever talked about was like docu signed
Speaker 1: documents and you know, business stuff.
Speaker 2: And she's like, did you figure I see it already?
Speaker 2: Who had checked out and probably was entertaining other men,
Speaker 2: whether she had slipped with them or not.
Speaker 3: And that's still wrong, still wrong.
Speaker 2: I'm not on the hate Jesse.
Speaker 3: Train.
Speaker 1: I find him entertaining. He's very good, funny, and I
Speaker 1: think he's funny. He's funny when he's been on Watch
Speaker 1: What Happens Live his stuff. He's funny. Oh he has
Speaker 1: he okay, yeah, And so she says he told me
Speaker 1: when we separated and that I left the house, he
Speaker 1: told me he would do anything he could to ruin
Speaker 1: my life. So that's pretty shitty. So in the talking
Speaker 1: daddy goes, look, yeah, I love the OC. I do
Speaker 1: you know my daughter would have a better education in
Speaker 1: the OC. And Michelle's never gonna let it happen. So
Speaker 1: the producer says, did you bring that up about the
Speaker 1: OC just to get a rise out of Michelle? And
Speaker 1: he goes yeah, and he says, let the chaos begin.
Speaker 1: So then we see her telling him her telling so sorry.
Speaker 1: Michelle is telling the group it's so easy to fight
Speaker 1: with him, like I tried, And then he's like, well,
Speaker 1: so what if we move to She goes, this is
Speaker 1: so sorry, rewind.
Speaker 3: She says, it's so easy to fight with him.
Speaker 1: I tried. I tried to talk to him. And then
Speaker 1: he's like, what if we moved to Newport Beach so
Speaker 1: Isabella could go to school in Orange? County and he's
Speaker 1: just doing it to push my buttons. And he I
Speaker 1: goes five days a week away from her mother. No,
Speaker 1: that's not gonna happen, and Michelle goes, I get mad
Speaker 1: at myself for giving him the reaction that he wants,
Speaker 1: like I should just you know, and he says, he's
Speaker 1: just trying to get into your head.
Speaker 3: And then we hear Jesse on Mike going, she's so
Speaker 3: fucking resentful.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: So Brittany stands in front of the group and.
Speaker 1: Goes, thanks everybody for coming to my white party.
Speaker 2: Thanks y'all.
Speaker 1: Everybody cheers, Free Britney, Free Brittany, and then in the
Speaker 1: talking head we hear Kristen say last summer was bad,
Speaker 1: but I never thought this summer would be worse. Oh shit,
Speaker 1: and we see Michelle say I just want to be
Speaker 1: fucking divorced and never talk to him again. Nia says,
Speaker 1: while holding a baby, I just don't want you to
Speaker 1: be assuming things about my friends, and then Danny says, oh,
Speaker 1: your friends who were just talking crap behind your back
Speaker 1: while also holding another baby.
Speaker 2: They've got so many babies to hold, but they have
Speaker 2: a baby for each scene that they're in. We have
Speaker 2: a baby. Here's here's a new baby. You haven't met
Speaker 2: this one, but here's a new one right here.
Speaker 1: And then we see somebody but I can't tell who,
Speaker 1: is yelling in Britney's face and saying.
Speaker 3: He's sexually assaulted people. Let's be real.
Speaker 1: Now, I don't know we'll be talking about I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't know if somebody knows some medium, and Kristen
Speaker 1: saying to Jack's, you're fucking up right now, Jackson and
Speaker 1: him going and then Brittany, I.
Speaker 2: Hate when you do the it's so funny. You hate
Speaker 2: it or you love it like I hate it because
Speaker 2: it's so pathetically funny.
Speaker 1: Because it's then we see Britney yelling at Jack's you
Speaker 1: scared me and you hurt me, you were dangerous and
Speaker 1: you need help again. She's not talking about a coffee
Speaker 1: table to the coffee table, and it seems his friends
Speaker 1: are in his kitchen telling him I don't want to
Speaker 1: lose you, man, I don't want to wake up to
Speaker 1: a headline. So they're obviously having some sort of intervention
Speaker 1: with him, because then we see him walking down the
Speaker 1: steers with the suitcase. Okay, okay, this season on the Valley,
Speaker 1: Luke and Christen get engaged.
Speaker 3: We already know this. Brittany sees evidence of Jack's hooking up.
Speaker 1: With some girl at their home and she's like, I
Speaker 1: went in the bathroom and there's like a thall of
Speaker 1: the underwear and like a baby wipe and they're all
Speaker 1: like crows.
Speaker 3: All the girls are like screaming.
Speaker 1: Then we see a group. Let's do shots for Brittany. Woo,
Speaker 1: she drinks too much. Let's drink some more. Kristen gives
Speaker 1: Luke twenty dollars to snort with Sabi and he does.
Speaker 1: We see Laala reading Jesse for filth Okay, because we
Speaker 1: do know Keisha that when Jax has to leave to
Speaker 1: go to rehab or wherever he goes that Lala and
Speaker 1: Sheena fill moore because they are friends with this group.
Speaker 1: But they're not on the show. But I think they
Speaker 1: had to have. They wanted to bring in like some
Speaker 1: heavy hitters to take the place of.
Speaker 2: Jack's of Jackson.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, Jax gets served at his door a I
Speaker 1: guess a separation following a restraining order for all custody
Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah blah, which then, by the way,
Speaker 1: what did happen in court was that he signed away,
Speaker 1: has completely signed away his parental rights and all that.
Speaker 1: So it's in the court system, so people are able
Speaker 1: to immediately get the documents because it's public. And then
Speaker 1: it was like his lawyer was like, oh no, that
Speaker 1: was an error. He just didn't read the document and
Speaker 1: signed it.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: But I don't think that's correct. I think he has
Speaker 1: no custody. He has no custody without a guardian. I
Speaker 1: don't think he can do it alone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, right.
Speaker 1: Jesse says Michelle is sleeping with the billionaire for fifteen
Speaker 1: hundred dollars a night, and then we see her throw
Speaker 1: a drink on him. Okay, Jesse just needs to stop.
Speaker 1: He just needs to be happy in his relationship and
Speaker 1: quit trying to bash Michelle. Just like, let it go.
Speaker 2: He can't do it.
Speaker 1: Kristin alleges that Jason takes his rink off when he
Speaker 1: goes out, and we don't come it because I think
Speaker 1: Jason is a sweet baby. Angel Nia and Janet have
Speaker 1: some sort of screaming fight. Jasmine yells at someone. Brittany
Speaker 1: says Jaxa has people watching her like he puilt, like
Speaker 1: cameras in her place. Luke says, I just want you
Speaker 1: to be there for me, Kristen, and then walks down
Speaker 1: the hall in his underwear at some resort or something. Okay,
Speaker 1: and Janna says, you know, there's a reason it's called
Speaker 1: crazy Kristen and not crazy Janet. Oh, good point. Good point.
Speaker 1: And then we see Zach's storm down some stairs of
Speaker 1: a yacht saying I've done. And then we see someone
Speaker 1: I guess Kristen is saying. I don't know if she's
Speaker 1: saying it to Zach, I don't know who she's saying
Speaker 1: it to, but she's saying, don't make me knock your
Speaker 1: ass out.
Speaker 3: You're a fan bitch.
Speaker 1: Ooh. I don't know what that's about. I don't know
Speaker 1: what that's about. But it was a lot of quick clips. Now, Keisha, Yes,
Speaker 1: you've done it, You've done the valley. Are you excited?
Speaker 1: Are you energized by what's coming?
Speaker 2: It's a really good show.
Speaker 1: It's a really good show.
Speaker 2: It's a really good show. It really really is. It
Speaker 2: was quick to find out what's going on with the
Speaker 2: group and everything like that, and there's a lot of
Speaker 2: scandalous activity. I love a messy group.
Speaker 3: I love messy they're messy.
Speaker 2: They're very, very messy.
Speaker 1: And I always thought, you know, what they should do
Speaker 1: with vander Pump Rules is they should do like Menudo
Speaker 1: and just rotate the cast, you know, every couple of seasons,
Speaker 1: because once those people are working at Sir and wherever,
Speaker 1: at Tom Tom and all the restaurants, then people do
Speaker 1: know them and they become reality stars. So then, you know,
Speaker 1: vander Pump Rules did keep on like four seasons too long,
Speaker 1: pretending those people worked at that restaurant when they really
Speaker 1: did it.
Speaker 3: They really didn't.
Speaker 1: But by the way Jack says, you'll take a shift
Speaker 1: every now and then, and they do it for like
Speaker 1: I'm sure they're you know, they're paid, like hey, come
Speaker 1: in and bartend, get people into the restaurant.
Speaker 2: You know, of course, yes, smart.
Speaker 1: But I always said they should follow the original vander
Speaker 1: Pump cast. As they're getting older and they're famous as
Speaker 1: reality stars, and they're getting married and they're having kids,
Speaker 1: they're getting divorced. That's the show we want to see
Speaker 1: because we love the original cast so much. Bit Tom sanderbal,
Speaker 1: Tom Schwartz, Kristen, Katie Stacy, that's their original cast. Lala
Speaker 1: came in James Kennedy came in. Sheena was on the
Speaker 1: original cast. She know was the reason for the whole
Speaker 1: original show. So I always said we should have a
Speaker 1: show that followed them. But I do love that we're
Speaker 1: not following all of them. Like Sheena is not always
Speaker 1: on the show, Lala is not always on the show.
Speaker 1: We only have the Jackson, Brittany and the Kristen as
Speaker 1: the staple from vander Pump Woles. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: just love it. I just love it. I just love it.
Speaker 1: I love it well.
Speaker 2: I mean, and what you just described is what this
Speaker 2: show is, but just not with the vander Pump rules,
Speaker 2: with the whole cast foundation cast.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because Dossy, you know, when she left, when she
Speaker 1: was asked name when she left, she was told, I mean,
Speaker 1: she was asked to be on lots of reality shows
Speaker 1: and she's never been on one since. Really, she's just
Speaker 1: kept her life going as an influencer, and she's written
Speaker 1: several books and she tours because she's very funny. And
Speaker 1: right now she's on vander Pump Villa, which I think
Speaker 1: is on Peacock or Hulu or something. She's on vander
Speaker 1: Pump Villa in Italy as like a cast member. I
Speaker 1: think she's like running the villa, like I like Lisa
Speaker 1: vander Pump Junior. I haven't watched it, so I don't know,
Speaker 1: and maybe I will, maybe I won't, who knows, if
Speaker 1: I have time. But she's never She's been offered so
Speaker 1: many shows, and of course she was offered to be
Speaker 1: on the Valley and she's like, no, it's just doesn't
Speaker 1: feel genuine to what my life is now. Like I'm
Speaker 1: married with two little kids, and you know, I don't
Speaker 1: want to ruin my marriage. I'd like to keep it going.
Speaker 2: You know, that's a good reason enough to do it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's still killing it and she has just flat
Speaker 1: out apologized for her behavior, like flat out apologize.
Speaker 2: Not my apology.
Speaker 1: Yeah, not Faith slept with my friends, you know, boyfriend,
Speaker 1: and that's why I did, and none of it's just like,
Speaker 1: flat out that was wrong. I was uneducated about what
Speaker 1: calling the police on a black woman would do. I
Speaker 1: did not. I was uneducated on that. But o Faith, Yeah,
Speaker 1: they were real hard. Yeah, they were like she was like,
Speaker 1: I was uneducated on that, the racist aspect of it
Speaker 1: and what it could do to a black woman in
Speaker 1: America having the police called on saying she's a scammer,
Speaker 1: and she's like, so I educated myself and now I
Speaker 1: know that was completely wrong and that that would hit
Speaker 1: different for a black person than a white person.
Speaker 3: I didn't know, and you know, yeah, good for her.
Speaker 1: Listen, I'm a saucy apologist. She said she was sorry.
Speaker 1: I take it at her take out of work.
Speaker 2: Hopefully she does doesn't ever do it again.
Speaker 1: Well, please Lord, please please.
Speaker 2: That would be bad.
Speaker 1: And Kristin has always been crazy Kristen. She's been crazy
Speaker 1: Kristen since season one of vander pump Rolls. But I
Speaker 1: still wish her well with her marriage and her baby
Speaker 1: because she's pregnant too.
Speaker 2: Oh she's big.
Speaker 1: Pregnant.
Speaker 2: Yeah big, isn't twins in there like that? Something is huge?
Speaker 1: And you know she doesn't give a shit. You know,
Speaker 1: she's just walking around on those flip flops. She don't
Speaker 1: give a shit. Bless her heart. Bless her heart, everybody.
Speaker 1: If you're not familiar with Keisha, if you don't know
Speaker 1: her from being on my show talking about love after
Speaker 1: lock up or love is Blind or or what else?
Speaker 1: Did we cover?
Speaker 2: Prison brides and brides?
Speaker 1: All the prison shows, all the.
Speaker 2: Prison shows we do yeah, because what was the other
Speaker 2: prison show it?
Speaker 1: And then we did that one love show, Match Me Abroad,
Speaker 1: Matched Me Abroad. So do you guys aren't familiar with
Speaker 1: Keisha from all these other shows? This is our first
Speaker 1: dip into our Bravo show together. And she has a
Speaker 1: great podcast. It's very funny. It's called the Libra a
Speaker 1: Lounge Withakisha. Yes, and that's where you can find her.
Speaker 1: You can find her on that show and you can
Speaker 1: find her Instagram of the same name. And Keisha's very
Speaker 1: very funny. So I think so I you know, I've
Speaker 1: been told that a ton too. Ten out of ten
Speaker 1: highly recommend And you guys will be back every Wednesday
Speaker 1: on Pink Chet Crime ten dollars level talking about the Valley.
Speaker 3: So if you're loving our recaps, subscribe.
Speaker 1: Also, you know a thing you could do for somebody
Speaker 1: that's really really nice is you could go to Apple
Speaker 1: or Spotify reviews and just click five stars. It's a
Speaker 1: nice thing. This is a nice thing you can do
Speaker 1: to get our podcast hell us a lot other people's ears.
Speaker 3: Yes, that's it, that's my promo.
Speaker 1: Everybody followed Keisha the Liberlneakisha and follow me at Pink
Speaker 1: Shade Pod, and we will be all right back here
Speaker 1: next week to talk about the valley.
Speaker 3: Okay, bye bye.
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