Speaker 1: And we have entered our number three New Marrow trace
of Matt Connerton unleashed. For those of you listening live,
it is a Saturday, February twenty one, twenty twenty six,
and we are from the studios of wm NH ninety
five point three FM and Glorious Manchester, New Hampshire, the
winter wonderland that it is. And of course you can
stream the show from anywhere but to Matt connorton dot com,
slash live for all of your live streaming options, social
media links, contact Infox, show archives, et cetera, et cetera,
and right now joining us here in studio, let's see
there we go. We have g girls here.
Speaker 2: Yes, Hi, how you doing met?
Speaker 1: Yeah, very well, very well. It's been also known as
Jackie Brown of course on social media. We were talking
off air. Actually pull that pull that mic down just
a little bit. Yeah, yeah, that's probably good. We were
talking off air. It's been like three Has it really
been three years since you've been on with us?
Speaker 2: Yes? Three years?
Speaker 1: Definitely, my god, yeah, because I do remember the last
time you were here. It was at the old when
we were on Elm Street. Yes, at the old place.
And so this is pretty nice. You like the you
like the new, uh or well, I spent a couple
of years now, but it's it's still it does still
feel new.
Speaker 2: The only thing I miss is the signature on the
wall right right. Hopefully we could bring that back on
something like maybe on a poster board or something like
that or yeah, you never know, or like a banner
or something that just have every every artist or someone
that comes in here, your guests and sign on there.
But I missed that. But otherwise this is a great location.
Congratulations match for lessons on blessings. I known you for years, yes,
like sixteen seventeen years, actually more than that, Jess.
Speaker 1: The time goes so quick two thousand and eight. Yeah,
you notice as we get older too, it goes faster
and faster.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, flash of my eye.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I find that element rather unpleasant. I would like
time to slow down.
Speaker 2: Yeah. When you're a kid, you're like, oh, it takes
so long to get oh, I know, birthday and this
and that, and nowadays.
Speaker 1: It's like when you're like, when you're a kid, like
when summer starts, it seems I could just last forever,
you know, but but I I know that. I mean
a lot of it obviously is perception and it's psychological.
But I did read something a number of years ago
that there's a theory that there might actually be something
It's not just psychological, but there might literally be something
neurochemical that happens in our brain as we get older
that alters our perception of time.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I have to check that out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it. You know, it might all be bs.
Who knows.
Speaker 2: But well, I had four concussions, so I'm like nervous
because all the doctors are scaring me. I just actually
I got injured about a month ago.
Speaker 1: So oh, sorry to hear that. Yeah, why have you
had four concussions?
Speaker 2: Well, different reasons, car accidents. I got injured on the
bus recently, about January ninth.
Speaker 1: You got injured on a bus.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh well, we can't really talk about it, but
you know, I'm just saying I got injured really bad. Okay,
and long, shorty short, I've had four concussions, okay, and
this was my fourth one. But I guess more concussions
you have, you can get that brain disease.
Speaker 1: Well boxes CTE.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, so I'm ski can you? Yeah?
Speaker 1: We are We are on an eight second delay. So
if the worst happens, I can catch it.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'll try not. I'll be pleasant today.
Speaker 1: Thank you, welcome.
Speaker 2: But yeah, it's it's a scary situation because you know,
you think of a concussion you hit, you've hailed from
a different concussion. Yeah, and then now it's like whoa,
your brain is like delayed a little bit. I still
have swelling and things like that. But it's crazy how
life can change out of a second.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, one hundred. So last night, because Friday nights,
I'm here for Retrospectrum Radio with poly C and I'm
one of the people on that show. And we also
have a gentleman named Brooklyn Mike. H Brooklyn Mike if
you're listening, and uh, he was here and he was
very excited when we mentioned because Paul always gives me
a chance to plug what the show is going to
be Saturday morning, And he was very excited when I
mentioned you were going to be on because he remembers you,
Oh yes, from your previous appearances on the show.
Speaker 2: Yes, tell him myself. Hello, if you're tuning in, Hello
to you. Ye, too bad you're not here with us,
But yeah, next time we'll have to plan it out
that you're on with Matt.
Speaker 1: That would be cool, That would be cool. Yeah, he's
he's been on the show a few times recently. But
I also, so your show, the Icy Show, we should
talk about that. And I'm not saying this to be funny.
This is literally true. I had an epiphany this morning
because it finally occurred to me. So I had never
understood why you spell it the way you spell it.
I see see why I never understood that. And it
finally dawned on me this morning. And it happened while
I'm looking at you. Your your name on messenger Jackie Brown,
and I'm like, wait a minute, she spells Jackie with
two c's. Yes, that has to be the reason. Yes,
And it's been I don't know, I can't remember again,
you know, talking about time and perception. I don't know
know how many years it's been now that you've been
doing that show, because it's all everything becomes a blur.
But it finally occurred to me literally this morning. I
was like, oh, I get it.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, And the reason why I have two seas
it's because of my name and also because I own
my show. Yeah, so someone already had it. I see why.
So that's why I had to change it with the
two seeds. Okay, I could have did it different ways,
but that's the way I wanted to go with the Jackie.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Shout out to DZ the gift mass of Hustle Records.
He gave me my name, so salute to him. Definitely.
I got to give the shout outs, definitely because that's
the reason why. And my show's been around, will be
eight years this June second.
Speaker 1: Eight years. Wow.
Speaker 2: Yes, and I've done over seven and twenty interviews local
and international.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to be like you, Matt on my role model.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Jenny was on with you recently.
Speaker 2: Yes, she was on The Icy Show about a week
and a half ago and we talked about how, you know,
with the insurance not paying for medicine when people need
medicine and people are dying because they can't afford medicine.
I was at someone's house in New York last week
and she needed her insulin, and you know, it's crazy
because her sugar's going high and she can't get her insulent.
And that was a different state, so every state is different.
What's going on in this world with the difference with
the medications and you know what you need to have,
and you know, what about the people that have asthma,
what about the people that have cancer, you know, that
need to be on a medication for life and stuff
and they can't afford it. And it's like, it's crazy,
it's sad. It's sad, And I'm glad Jenny's doing. Shout
out to Jenny if you're tuning in, definitely, because where
I see her about two years ago to where she's
that now, she looks amazing and I'm so proud of her,
and I'm glad she finally found, you know, a cure
for her. But she shouldn't have to be suffering like that.
Speaker 1: Well there's no there's no cure. I mean, if you're
talking about the complex uh sorry, complex pain complex regional
pain syndrome. Sorry, there's no cure for that. So all
she can all she can really do is manage it.
But she is. But she is managing it. Well oh yeah, yeah,
it's amazing. Yeah. Yeah, she doesn't let it stop her
or slow her down or anything.
Speaker 2: Keep on doing those rallies out.
Speaker 1: There, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2: Oh, stay safe, she's.
Speaker 1: Doing great things and she's gonna be going to to
DC on Monday, and.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they travel safe travel.
Speaker 1: She's doing a lot. Yeah, So tell us more about
the show, because obviously, I mean I think you you
probably interview people in the music industry more than anything.
Speaker 2: Right, yes, some business owners too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, well, well tell us about like who who
are some of the people you've interviewed, and and and why,
like how do you how do you decide who you
want to have on the show and all that.
Speaker 2: I try to give everybody an opportunity to be on
my show. You know, I believe everybody deserves a chance
to be on a show if they can. Yeah, and
my show is for you to expand and meet other people.
That's why it's local international. Started with seven people following me,
and now I got a salute to everyone that follows me.
My whole team with worldwide collaboration. I'm with Legal Mob Entertainment.
And also you know, I have my own assistance. I
got Diamond and Red Ruby and also on my street teams.
So okay, you know, it's like I have to give
them a shut out because if it wasn't for them
to believe in me and keep on growing and DJ slimebugs.
My co hosts for Bible studies. We do Bible studies
on Sunday for the children. It's just something.
Speaker 1: Little.
Speaker 2: My son is the one that started with me being
my co host and then we he did one hundred episodes.
That was his promise to God when he got baptized,
and I was thankful. I was hoping he would keep
on going. But you know it's time consuming because he
is to study and everything. But my pastor, Minister Thomas,
doctor Minister Thomas, he believes in my son. He really
thinks he could see my son being a minister or pastor.
I don't know about that right now, but he's going
through some things. But that's every teenager. You know, he'll
be sixteen. Imagine that, Matt. Remember when we were at
your show when I found out I was pregnant with
my son.
Speaker 1: We'll come back to that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a great story and I always think about that.
But my show is basically about everyone that has something
positive going and even people that are in jailing and
then never coming home. They've been on my show too,
and you know they they they said that they're innocent.
You know, even though the trial is over, they's never
coming home, and so you know, my show is to
give everybody that chance. Like even I have another show
that's going to be coming out Ice. It's the icy
show Lost Angels. It's about if you have a lost
someone you lost and you didn't you know, when you're
at the casket and you wish you could talk to
that person, but whish to really talk out loud instead
of you just sitting there and crying, and you know,
you want that last closure. So my show was to
have that last closure with that loved one that they lost.
At start, it was it should have been out. I
did the first episode. I haven't seen you a lot, Matt.
There's a lot to catch up with you, but I
don't know. De Z's brother passed away. Yeah, it was
three years ago. And that was my brother. That was
my ace, my everything, Like he was my like it's
I cried for three hundred and sixty five days when
he died, every single day. And he was the only
one that believed in my show and believed in me
even when he was behind bars, when he was in
jail fighting for his life, and he would contact me
to make sure that I keep on going. I don't
have that motivation anymore, that someone that really believes in me,
like that you could trust on everything, your life on
the line, you know, and it's hard to come around
those type of people, real solid people. So that took
me for a toll because I lost my female ace
and my male ace, So that broke my heart in pieces.
And I was actually going to stop my icy show,
but I had people contacted me because I did a
post saying that I was going to stop it, and
they said, no, you got to keep on going no
matter what you're going through. And you know, I could
keep on hearing him say to me, gee, girl, you
better not give up. If you give up, like he's
motivating me on things that like, you know, I've done
for people, but to really have it back with real
love and showing that they're out to help you succeed,
not out for themselves. That's real rear to find those
type of people. And that's why I went to go
see him in jail. I went to I bailed him out.
You know, he lived with me. He's a good solid
person that had my back no matter what I was
going through divorce, crying on the shoulder when nobody was there,
you know, like yeah, real, real, real life stuff. But
not to have that anymore, I needed to come out
with the show I felt like for my two aces,
because I know there's a lot of people out there
that have lost a lot of people and they're getting
younger and younger, and I want my platform to be
for them to release that. But I wasn't strong enough
because my show came out right before my brother died.
I did his mother's She lost two of her children,
one to that was my brother and the other one
was too. Her daughter got stabbed, so she talked about
it on my show, so I made that's my aunt.
So I made her the first episode because she told
me I should do something like that, and I was like,
you know what I'm going to. But then when I
lost my brother, I was numb for three hundred and
sixty five days, like I didn't know if I was
coming or going, and going through a lot of stuff.
But I kept my show going because I kept hearing
him say it. And that's why with that new show,
it's dedicating for people that lost the loved ones. So
that will be coming out soon and then the Icy show.
It's here to stay as long as I keep on
having people on the show, artists and things like that.
Like tomorrow we have a music show I'm a Judge.
It's in Massachusetts. To come out, it's at eight pm.
It's ten dollars to get in. Shout to Loudhouse that
put it together. So yeah, it's just you know, keep
on growing, Matt, That's what it is about it. And
you know, life it's flashing my eyes. So we have
to keep on doing what we want. And like the acting.
You know, I remember coming on your show when we
had the red carpet event. Yeah, so I've done a
lot more acting, different movie clips. I was in Detroit
and a couple of things.
Speaker 1: So wow.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like the acting. So if you need an actress,
let me know on a short film or something. Definitely
that I feel like that's my passion.
Speaker 1: Oh really okay, interesting.
Speaker 2: Yeah I never thought that, but yeah, yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1: There's something really interesting you mentioned about interviewing people who
are in prison, who are you know, not getting out,
they're not coming home. How do how does that work logistically? Like?
Is that is that challenging to set that up where
they're gonna be I assume they're going to be on
a phone talking to you like, how do how does
is that hard to work out?
Speaker 2: Well, they have a they have laptops, some have cell phones. Yeah,
it's all different. But yeah, I mean they they were
showing me stuff on the interview that was crazy, like
they could pop their just sell like that. So they
were showing things that the world isn't aware of, about
things that are happening in prisons. Yeah, and they showed it.
It was live on the show. And it's like, I
wasn't expecting that, and I even said, whatever happens on
this episode, I'm not responsible. I didn't know. You know,
these lifers aren't coming home, and so it's like they
don't even get an opportunity. They were saying people that
their family is supposed to write to them or show
or put canteen. They don't even so they have to
figure out a way inside to survive. And it's sad
and you know, you think about I've seen something about
the news yesterday about cancer is rising in the jails,
and then you think about it. It's the food. The
food is not healthy, and I don't understand why they
don't turn around and make like it's simple. You know,
we have indoor greenhouses, make it in every single jail.
Make it a job for one of the prisoners. Then
it's money being you know, circulated, and then maintain in it,
and you know it's healthier for them. I guarantee the
cancer will go down. I'm not a medical doctor, but
I feel in my heart, just like the school lunches,
if you switch it to healthiness or healthier per se,
what your the ingredients are not artificial. I feel in
my heart, old school, like my grandmother taught me, old
school ways are better. Less ingredients. You're using natural herbs,
you're not prosper Everything process process, everything's processed. And I
didn't even know when I was growing up. I'll be
forty eight in June. I never even knew when I
was growing up. You know, look on the ingredients, Look
on this. They don't teach you that when I was
going to school, and it's like, okay, that should be
part of health. That should be part of schools. That
should be mantorb to show them or homec you know
how you you're learning about measuring things like that, that's perfect.
Have it half of a year of cooking and half
of a year learning about you know, what is this process?
What is this chemical that is going into you and
studying it, and I guarantee these kids it will make
them open their eye a little bit more.
Speaker 1: There's something I've always this is an unpopular opinion, but
I've always felt that there's something deeply wrong on a
societal level with us, because you know, and and you know,
RFK talks about you know, processed foods and how it hurt.
And don't get me wrong, I think RFK overall is
a lunatic. But I think the one thing he does
get right where he doesn't sound completely insane, is when
he talks about processed food and how how much harm
that's causing uh to to to people.
Speaker 2: And you know.
Speaker 1: But the thing that I I don't understand is why
you know, almost almost right out of the shoot, when
you're born, you've got all these people around you who
allegedly love you, who are trying to shove as much
fat and cholesterol and sugar which is you know, white sugar,
which is poison into you. You know, almost almost immediately
like you learn, like like you're taught again by these
people who are supposed to be looking out for you.
You're taught to like and enjoy the worst possible stuff
for you. Oh, a birthday party, we got to have
some cake. Oh you want to treat yeah, or here,
have a cupcake. You know, it's it's weird. It it
doesn't make any logical sense. And yet and you know,
and then people are confused, like, well, oh why you know,
why is obese toy such a problem. Why why is
it that with every generation we have higher and higher
rates of diabetes? Because this is just this weird thing
in our culture, and I'm sure it exists in other
countries as well. But it's like like almost from the day,
like nobody has a chance because almost from the moment
you're brought into the world, you are taught to enjoy
things that are going to slowly kill you. Right, It's
so bizarre. I don't know why we do it, but
we do.
Speaker 2: Yes, so true, so true, It is true because I'm
about when it comes to a birthday, you have to
have a cake. That's just right. Then?
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, you're taught that right from when you're little.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well when I was little, some birthdays I didn't
even have a cake. So I made sure anybody that
I know that if I rock with you, I'm making
sure if it's your birthday if I can make it. Lately,
I've been working a lot, it's been crazy, But yeah,
cake is important. I feel like when you get to
blow that candle O, it's different. It's like you're relieving
your last year to a new beginning, sure for your life,
if it makes sense, A little confused.
Speaker 1: Of but no, no, you got no, I totally get that.
But wouldn't it be nice to put that candle on
top of a healthy snack?
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, even salad like I don't. I don't, I
don't rock on it like I definitely do. Like if
I do a kid's birthday party and stuff, I do,
have fruit salad, reckless.
Speaker 1: Salad, maybe a protein bar. You could shove the candle
into the protein bar if it's soft enough.
Speaker 2: You know, yeah, definitely, there's not's wrong with that. I
feel anything, or even a yogurt putting.
Speaker 1: On Ooh, I like that idea.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, add some oats on top.
Speaker 1: Get that protein and yeah absolutely yeah, absolutely yeah. So
that's that's my my rant on that. All right, we
need to talk about how you found out, well sort
of it depends on what I did.
Speaker 2: I found out I was pregnant with my son, it
will be June will be he'll be sixteen years old.
But having a big party, stud forget to forget.
Speaker 1: So so back, how, oh god, how many years ago? Now,
it's so long ago, fifteen and a half. So at
the time, a little little time travel here a little
and some people already some of our listeners already know
this story. But so at that time, so we were
at what was at that time Millie's Tavern. Yes, yes,
show doing a show. We had a show there. Your
partner de Z the Gift. Were you married at that point?
Speaker 2: Yeah, my ex husband, yes.
Speaker 1: Okay, I couldn't remember if you were married yet. He
was there. He was part of the show. Y, you
were part of the show somehow, right? Were you on
stage at some point?
Speaker 2: Yes? Well, actually Norm called me to the stage all right, right, okay,
he says, I have something to tell you guys.
Speaker 1: Right, So Norm Moody, who I was his co host
on a show called Norman Friends that we did right
here in Manchester on Channel twenty three at the time
for eight years. So for anyone who doesn't know, so
Norm was a psychic and my rule on the show
kind of evolved a little bit, but basically I was
like the skeptical, sarcastic, smart ass sidekick, you know. I was.
I was off in the fly and the ointment and uh,
you know, trying to not derail everything. But but I
was kinda when I was a little I was kind
of a menace in some ways, you know. And I
was I was just coost for eight years. But we
would do events outside of that, and so he was
I don't remember if it was like officially like a
Norman friend's event that we were doing, I don't remember.
I just remember Norm was involved, there were musicians involved.
You and d Z were a part of the show.
And and yes, so that night Norm told did he
I can't remember though, did he Did he tell you
on stage in front of everyone?
Speaker 2: Yes? He actually called me to the stage and no,
because I wasn't feeling good that night.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was mood.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was just I wasn't feeling it. I didn't
even want to go to the show. I just was
I felt nauseous. Smells were bothering me, and I'm like,
maybe I'm getting sick. But I went because to support him,
and he went to the stage and then Norm called
me to the stage and then he's like, you need
to come up here. I need to tell you something
for to both of you, to me and EAZ And
I'm like, I'm looking at the Z I'm like, damn,
he cheated on me and I'm about to get told
them that's what I Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
I'm like, I'm it's gonna be. We're gonna rumble on it.
We're gonna get it all. We get to crack it.
But that was the situation. It's like, so how far
along are you? And I'm like what, It's like, how
far along are you? And you haven't not one, but
you haven't two. And I'm looking at I'm like, is
this a prank? Because I know my body? But damn
am I pregnant? Because I was just complaining to him
on the way that I wasn't feeling good. So we're
on the stage, I'm not feeling good. I feel like
I'm gonna get sick. I'm like, is this true or not?
I'm like I don't think so, and he's like, no,
I'm serious. Norm kept saying that and he's like, you're
gonna call me in a couple of days and you're
gonna tell me that you're expected. So I went home.
We're going home and I'm like, do you think that's true?
And I don't know, So I'm like, let's stop. So
I got a test the next day and I'm like, oh,
I called d I'm like, D come here, come here,
and he comes running in. I'm like, look at this.
I was like, I gotta do another one because I
bought a couple of them. I did it. I think
two or three of them are all positive. I'm like,
oh no, I'm I'm gonna call Matt right now and
let him know that Norm was on on point. And
then the story gets even more crazy. So my son
is a twin. I lost my daughter. She was four
months four months when I was pregnant, and when uh
we did the ultrasound and they're saying twins and I'm
like no way. So I screenshot. I think I even
sent it to you. I was like, send this to Norm,
please to let him know that he is arm point.
So yeah, he's how is he?
Speaker 1: Well, he's dead, passed away. He passed away. Yeah, oh wow,
yeah he's been gone a few years now. Yeah wow.
Speaker 2: He was a good guy.
Speaker 1: He was Yeah, he you know, he'd had various health issues,
So it was in some ways, it was not necessarily
a big surprise, but you know, and I hadn't been
on the show with him for you know, several years,
quite a few years at that point, so when he
did pass away, so I wasn't, you know, up to
speed on what was going on necessarily. But but yeah, yeah,
so he is, uh he has he has left us.
But but yeah, that is a that's a great story though.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, definitely not. Every time I see you or Jenny,
I always think of about that story because it's like,
you know, it's good memories.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I remember too and being pretty certain about it.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he was precise right on top. Yeah, yeah,
right on, so he knew before I did.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, were you were you skeptical? Uh like going
into that, Like I don't know what your your feelings
are generally about psychics and all of that. Like I'm
I'm a natural skeptic, but I don't know what your
uh your feelings are.
Speaker 2: I actually like psychics. I feel like it could be
a guy, that angel coming through the persons. Yeah, tell
him something. Yeah, because I've had a psychic contact me
in the middle of the night when my brother passed away. Yeah,
and she said he was going back a fool and
she said she kept she was a a media and
a psychic medium medium. Yes, and she said that she
called me at eleven o'clock at night. I never answered
when people are calling me on my messenger and I'm like,
is this a stark girl, because I've had it happen
like crazy stuff. And I'm like nah. And then she's like, Jackie,
I need to talk to you. She's like, you don't
know me, but someone that is just passed is trying
to cross over and that's stock they need to I
need you to contact the wow. And I'm like, okay,
is this lady really playing with me? Because you know
social media, you look at a picture, you just assume
something like I'm not stupid. So long story short, I
answered her and she goes, Jackie, I have three Jackies
in my in my friend's list, and I have this
person that's a male dark skin. He's trying to craw
sova and he wants to. He wants to he needs
to talk to you, and I'm like, it's my brother.
Like it's my brother. I was like, oh my god.
I started crying my eyes out and I'm like, okay.
So this was probably like six months after he passed,
and you know, I felt like when he crossed, when
he passed, he didn't cross. I felt that, Yeah, just
something I go to a cemetery life. It was, It's
just I take care of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So I don't know. I just felt that, and people
thought I was crazy and stuff. But when she contacted me,
I knew I was right. And he was talking about
how he passed. He he he said I was right,
like my feeling about it and stuff like that, and
he kept saying, drink lots of water, take care of
your health. That's something he would always say, yeah, And
I said okay, because he used to work out and
drink water every day, so he would like motivate me.
And then he'd be He started going to debt because
I'm like, is this lady really serious? I'm like, what
else do you see? He's like, well, I don't know
how long he's going to be here for, but I
just want as long as he's here to talk. He
has a lot of information to tell you. So he
was just going in and in and he was talking
about our old memories together and I'm like, oh, my God,
this is really him. And the crazy thing is he's like,
I come to your room every night. That's what he
was saying to her. Like he was just saying like
a whole bunch of stuff to me, and I'm like,
this is overwhelming. He's like, I appreciate you going to
the cemetery cleaning and up. He was saying that to
me and everything. So I was like, oh wow, that's
that's that's that's like I felt grateful because I felt
like he's talking to me. And then he brought up
about my show. You know how I was telling you
I was going to stop my show and he's like,
you better not stop your show. He's like that, he
was telling me that, So you know, he was just
saying a lot of stuff and she was on point.
She was on point, Like I said what's my favorite color?
Because at first, like I'm not, I'm like, what's my
favorite color? And he's like blue, and I was like okay.
I was like, say some crazy stuff what we did together,
and he said some crazy stuff like he wasn't saying
in like full sentences, but he was saying it like
I would understand, as though I was like, dang, he's really,
like really here. He was there for three and a
half hours talking to me. It was like three o'clock
in the morning. When she's like, he's gone, and I
was like wait because we were in the middle of
a sentence and she goes, just no, he crossed over.
It's gonna make me cry. But he crossed over, and
I was with him and knowing that he's my ace,
and like he went over, like I felt relieved, but
also like that's what was I was feeling when I
was going to the cemetery. You know what I'm saying,
Like I knew what I was feeling that he didn't
have that closure. Yeah, you know, And I seen him
like a week before he passed. I was looking for
him when he was missing and stuff like I was
on It felt sick to me because I seen crows
go by. I was like, he's dead, and I was
like I was spasing on everybody. I was not find
my brother. Find my brother. I was like, I don't
want to hear it. And then when I got that
call he got shot in the head. Oh my god,
oh my god, like I wanted to lose I started flipping.
I had so much anger, like anger, but.
Speaker 1: Did you did you know before you got the call, like,
did you feel it?
Speaker 2: I knew he passed, but the thing was it was
his mom's birthday. And then when his mom's birthday, she
called me and she's like, have you seen him? And
I was like, no, I haven't seen him. I seen
I thought you had a picture with him. She's like yeah,
but no one's seen him for twenty four hours. I'm like,
that's not like him. So I started making calls. I'm like,
that's not like him. I'm like, we're like, I'm calling
his phone. It's ringing and ringing. I was like, get
his phone, get his phone ping to find out where
it where he's where his phone is? Trace that And
I said that to the mom, and you know, I
was kind of like hostile with but I felt it.
I felt like, that's my ace, that's my everything, and
you're gone. Like I felt it because I was at
the beach. I went to the beach that morning and
I seen the crows go by, and when I seen that,
I threw up. And then when I threw up, I
was like someone died. And the person I was with,
they're like, no, that's just you're just saying. I was like, no,
I want to. I get like this, someone died. I
feel it inside me. My soul is empty, like it's weird,
Like I could see psychic things like little things. Yeah,
and I seen I seen woods and I kept seeing
woods like a vision. And I'm like, someone's dead in
the woods. And I'm like, something's not right. And then
his mom called me right when those crows were going by.
I was like, traces my phone. I'm gonna be on
the I'm getting a car. I'm going to look for him.
I'm gonna find him. I'm gonna find him. And she's like, oh, don't,
don't pin it too much. I'm like, no, it's been
twenty four hours. Someone nobody's seen him. I was like,
it's not right because I already seen what was happening. Yeah,
So I turn around. I got the car. My girl
was driving me. It pinged to me interested in the
Hampshire where we're at ninety five point three FM. We're
out here with Matt Connaughty shut out to Matt. But
it pined out here, but it was all woods and
his mom sent me the address I'm going. So my
girl came to gribbed me my god, since mom King.
She picked me up and we went to the woods.
We're heading into the woods and I'm like some like,
I just something wasn't sitting right. I'm five minutes from
the woods and I said, I feel like he's dead.
I smelled blood and I was like, he's dead. And
I got that call and his mom is telling me
he's dead. She's like, get to Lynn, immediately, get to Linn.
Get to the house. Oh shoot. I was like, flip
the car around because we're out here. Lynn is what
hour hour and a half from here?
Speaker 1: From here on probably an hour. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, oh, I have my friend. I'm like
I'm gonna I'm gonna take a car. I need someone's car.
I need to be mobile. I need to be done
in it. My girl gave me her car. I shot
over there. I was like, this is a horror movie.
I seen the young I can't even get to the street.
I see clock cars every where, the yellow tape. They
blocked the whole street, Layton Street off and I'm like,
oh man, this is nuts. This is nuts. Like I
need to get over there. That's my family, that's my
aunt's house, you know. So I'm like, what the heck's
going on. I turn around, I get to stop a shop.
I'm gonna I'm gonna leave the car and I'm gonna run.
I'm gonna run over to where they're at. It's like
maybe five streets away. So I get to the car,
I mean to the parking lot where stopping shop is,
and I see the the body go by. Oh God,
and I was like, damn, that's my brother. But I
felt like it was him saying goodbye to me because
it was me and his one on one for him
to go by, and how all of it. I kept
spending the block for forty five minutes, so I felt
like it was him delaying to see him, you know
what I mean. But that didn't stop me. I went
to the where he was and I didn't know that
they don't clean up. I almost fainted, flipping, flipping, But
it's like, you know, that's my brother forever. And everyone
could say, oh, he's different skin tone, but you don't
know what we've been through. Like he was the one
that was solid for me if I needed to cry
about breaking up with his brother a bo the divorce
and things like that, that was the one I could
go to and trust on everything on everything that's my
son's godfather and uncle, you know what I mean. So
it's like family flee me, but you don't know when
life is gonna be tossed oct And it's like people
need to appreciate life, not take life for granted. I
don't have time for hating. I don't have time for
being jealous of someone. We need to unite, We need
to come together. We need to be together and fight
for our life right now because everything was a turmoil.
And it's like, you know, our children need a life
for the future, and if we don't make it better
for them, what life are they going to have. It's
just a turmoil. I mean, like I said, we used
to leave the doors unlocked, your neighbor you could trust
and things like that. Now you gotta double up, locked everything,
check everything. It's crazy.
Speaker 1: The reason, by the way, so the reason I asked
you about did you feel like you felt them leave?
You know, is because this relates to someone you've met
but who is no longer with us. Do you remember
Steve Blake?
Speaker 2: Why is that sound familiar?
Speaker 1: So you and de Z were on his podcast This
was a lot. This would have been around the same
time you would come up to Manchester. We were doing
his podcast at a diner.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I remember that. Yeah, he passed away.
Speaker 1: He passed away. Yeah, he's he's actually been gone for
for quite a while now. But so I will just
because I don't know, it feels like the moment to
do it, I guess because we're talking about it and
it's someone you know or knew. I know you didn't
meet him, you didn't know him very well, but you
probably meet him a few times because he was always around. Yes,
but Steve. So there was a night remember remember Styling Souls. Yes,
we used to do events there and I did hypnosis there.
So there was a night that I was there after
a a hypnosis session with somebody, and I'm there at
the computer and I'm just doing whatever I was doing.
And I've never this is something. Not only have I
never shared this publicly, I've never told anyone this. I've
never told anyone this. I'm sitting there, it was probably
I don't know, around eight thirty nine o'clock at night,
I'm kind of getting ready to go home, and all
of a sudden, I just felt I felt very heavy,
like I felt this enormous loss, and I actually started crying,
like really crying, and I'm not a crier, and I
had no idea what was happening to me. I don't know,
you know, and It'll lasted a few minutes, but I
just felt like this enormous sense of loss all of
a sudden, and I was crying, and it was very
very strange. Hasn't nothing. I haven't experienced anything quite like
that since, But yeah, it was just odd. And then
when I was done and I pulled myself together for
you know, whatever reason this was happening to me, you know,
I went home and whatnot. And then first thing in
the morning the next day, I get a call and
it's Esther, who was Steve's wife. Wow, And as soon
as I heard her voice on the phone, I knew,
Like before she even told me, I knew. And I
now looking back on it, you know, and look, I'm
not one of these people who says, oh, there are
no you know, no coincidences. Of course, there are coincidences.
But but she told me, you know, because I asked
as well, when did he pass? She said, you know,
she was vague about the time, but she said, last night.
I found him last night. He was he was unconscious,
and I've just always kind of thought, because I don't
know how else to explain what I was experiencing. It
just seemed to me. I think I felt him leave.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I felt that when I see the crows,
I just didn't know who it was. Precise died and
I lost my aunt prior to that, my grandmother and
my ace. Like I said in many like Rest the Soul,
Legend king og Don Hazel, he was the director of
the movie he passed away. Then legend La La that's
the lady I go in Don Hazel the Gangster Movie
against her. In the movie he passed away like one
year after Dawn Haynes. So it's like all these funerals
I can't even hear from one, and it's just getting hit.
I got hit with like eleven in two years, and
they were all close to me, and my heart was
like rip this way, ripped this way, ripped this way,
and it's like my brothers. Though in my other ace,
Keana restaursoul Angelized. I felt those two. When I say
I felt it my Keanna, that's my godson's mother. I
was actually supposed to be due on her. My son
was supposed to be due on my birthday, but I
wanted to be selfish June nineteenth. It's a holiday now baby,
but she my son was supposed to be do We
were both pregnant at the same time, our whole pregnancies,
and we both found out we're having the boy. We're
ecstatic and long story short, when she passed, I felt it.
I seen it. I had a dream. I had a
dream she was in a ballroom all in beige dressed
beige shirt and she was in a big ballroom, makeup,
looking beautiful, dancing. And I got that call when I
was having that dream, and I felt so sick. I
started yelling the grandmother. I was like, no, my aunt.
I was like no, I was just wear her last night.
There's no way, no way, And she's like, no, it's true.
You need to get over here. Everyone's over here, the cops.
I'm like what. I'm like, no, I what time is it.
I was like lost, Like I just dreamt of her.
There's no way. I'm like, there's no way. On my fine,
my ace, And you know, I had to clean the
blood on her bed because it's my godson's room. Nobody
wants to do it. And I'm like, I'm not I'm
not gonna leave it. I gotta clean it up, you
know what I mean. So everyone's like put gloves on,
put this mask, and I was like, no, I'm not
gonna do that. That's my best friend. Like, and I
didn't even think to put gloves or anything because that's
my best friend. Ye to know that that's her blood light,
oh you know, So it's like visions I seen that's
and when I seen her the night before, that feeling
I got, like when we go like this to each other,
and I got a feeling I was never going to
see her again. I felt it. I felt it. And
if I ever get that feeling, I got it with
my brother and I ran back to him to give
him a hug and a kiss because I got that
failing that I'll never see them again. And when I
get that failing, that's why I always say, when you
love somebody, you have to say I love you to
them and give hugs and be affectionate because you never know.
Today's not promise, never mind tomorrow. And that's very important.
No matter like suicide is such a high. We just
lost that rapper. He was twenty something years old this
week and you know, it's okay to get help. If
you ever feel like you want to hurt yourself or
you want to harm someone, it's okay. Get the help
first before you do it, because your family is going
to suffer tremendously. And if you hurt somebody or kill somebody,
it's going to hurt two families, not one, but two,
your family and their family. So it's important because people
don't understand that that you know, retaliation or whatever the
case may be. He is, no, that's not the way,
and we need to reach out to this younger, younger generation.
The youth needs us. They lost for sauce, very lost
for sauce. You know, we got to start getting them
back how we were growing up and uniting with everyone,
because now it's not about unite. You know, it's different cultures,
different gangs, different society, society, and you need to unite.
Everybody needs to unite and come together. That's that, that's
what we need to do. We need to keep praying.
I say, keep your prayer, peace up, prayers up, positive,
and that's what we need to do.
Speaker 1: Well, very well said. So we are we are rapidly
running out of time. It goes so quickly.
Speaker 2: Wow, we did. We managed a lot of stuff, making
I feel accomplished.
Speaker 1: I knew we would, but I do want to make
sure so before we run out of time The Icy Show.
We want to remind people about that. Where to find
it when it's I don't know if you're on any
kind of a set schedule or if it's just it's
on when it's on. I got you, mate, so.
Speaker 2: You can check me on my podcast, The Icy Show.
It is local internationally. It is at six pm Easter times.
I try to be on daily, but you know, sometimes
with life and working and everything, it gets pushed back
to the days. But it is always lined up and promoted.
Anybody that is on my show, I try to do
a month out. We are booking until April right now.
Good morning, Jay's Sunshine. She's one of a great model.
She has a brand in Boston, so check her out. Also,
everybody on Worldwide Collaboration. That's Family Icy Show, Family Worldwide
and Legal Mob Entertainment Queen Miss b K. So everybody
keep on shining. Don't let nothing stop you. You know,
like I said, there's a lot of evil out there,
and I believe in the power of the prayer. That
we can change that by keep on over the evil,
and we could do that, just stay positive and keep
on doing. No one's life is perfect. Everyone's going through something,
but always no prayers work. Remember our grandparents, our ancestors,
they used to pray for us. That's why we're still here,
you know. And that's what I gotta say. And also
shut out to the Jails and Wilkins, Barber Sharp, Mark
Stelli and yeah, the list goes on your boy custom clothes.
Though I can't forget you guys, and so everybody, you know,
if I forgot you, you know, I apologize. But you
know you're all blessings in my eyes. And you're a
shining star from the Icy Show. You know that's important.
We're all stars and we gotta we get our star
when we go to heaven. But also our star is
here now.
Speaker 1: So and when's your next one? When's your next edition
of the show?
Speaker 2: It is this week. I don't have my book with me, Matt,
I'm sorry, but follow me Jackie Brown with two c's
j A C C I E Brown Me on YouTube
hashtag Icy Show ic C Y s H O w W.
And shut out to Mimi Diamond and Red rubies. Salute
to all three of my Queen's done, my assistants. Much
love and respect to all of you, and you know
always we're all royal. But keep the loyal going and
that's important because people don't do that nowadays. And also
you know the Icy Shows eight year anniversary is coming
up on second, so I will be given free eighty
lunches out every year. I always do how many years
i'm out there, so I provide eighty three lunches, it
will be ninety because I always do ten more and
then they'll always go less than an hour and a half.
And it's a good feeling because everyone smiles and smile
goes a long way instead of being miserable and mad
and angry all the time. That's the problem. People need
to smile, being easy on the gas out there and
stuff like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I agree. Well, this has been wonderful and
wonderful to have you here. We got to do this
more often. Let's not let another what three years go by?
Speaker 2: Yes, one more thing, Matt, I'm sorry, don't forget tomorrow
night APM to Massachusetts. I will be a judge tomorrow.
It's the Ladies all performance, great lineup, come check us
out Bayhallas in the building from Boston six one chef
and she's another judge, and show up to loud House
one more time for asking me to be a judge
on your platform. And let's get it tomorrow night top
in Massachusetts, APM type security and let's go.
Speaker 1: Respect excellent. Thank you so much, and uh, of course
thank you to Caitlin Piper and of course Jim from
Howling Hawk also for joining us today. If you miss
any part of today's show, it will be up in
just a little bit at Wmnhradio dot org and of
course at my website Matt Coonnorton dot com. And that's
gonna do it for us for now. We're out of here.
Ge girl again, thank you so much.
Speaker 2: You're ninety five point three, went back, called it to
left start.
Speaker 1: Bye, everybody,