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<v Speaker 1>I'm sweating like Chris Packham next to a bacon sandwich.

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<v Speaker 2>If I can find the person who wrote into us

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<v Speaker 2>and said you should stop moaning about asking for the rain,

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<v Speaker 2>I'd like to then just insert into their underpants a

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<v Speaker 2>million bees.

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<v Speaker 1>Right now, bees, take some bees.

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<v Speaker 2>I want rain, Yeah, rain, rain, please, rain, please, dear

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<v Speaker 2>God rain.

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<v Speaker 3>Hold on a second, you've been a farmer for one

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<v Speaker 3>day and you're suddenly complaining about rain. There we go.

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<v Speaker 3>It's just a.

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<v Speaker 2>Charcoal burner, and I can't burn anything because now you'll

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<v Speaker 2>set fire to the whole of whales.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, we've had a right old two and eight. I

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<v Speaker 3>went away for a couple of days to Southwold, came

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<v Speaker 3>back and the farm watched WhatsApp group because harvest has

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<v Speaker 3>started here the or seed rape and the beans are

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<v Speaker 3>coming in or the beans are as shriveled as a

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<v Speaker 3>politician's brain, and the hey presto. I think they'd only

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<v Speaker 3>be going for about sort of forty five minutes in

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<v Speaker 3>the first field, fire announcement came in and someone's barley

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<v Speaker 3>completely shot out lost the combine harvest, which I think

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<v Speaker 3>is sadly going to be the shape of things to

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<v Speaker 3>come this year.

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<v Speaker 1>What's early this year.

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<v Speaker 3>I've seen everything.

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<v Speaker 1>Tons of blackberries come out already in certain places, which

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<v Speaker 1>I think feels for the early.

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<v Speaker 2>Canal side raspberries. Blackberries and raspberries don't count. They sort

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<v Speaker 2>of have their own calendar.

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<v Speaker 1>Well the slows as well.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, they come out stupidly early.

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<v Speaker 3>Because of the water.

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<v Speaker 2>I think it's the water in the warmth and the

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<v Speaker 2>tramp piss.

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<v Speaker 3>Callums. We it's a magnet to early blackberries. Yeah. But

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<v Speaker 3>did you say you've seen slows Callum.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, there's quite a lot of slow. So I dropped

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<v Speaker 1>the dropped my daughter off at nursery this morning. There's

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<v Speaker 1>the whole bush seems full of them already, and I was,

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<v Speaker 1>and they're all turning that slow color rather than the color.

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<v Speaker 2>Is that Callum school? Schoolgate reraper Twitter with the with

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<v Speaker 2>the other mums.

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<v Speaker 1>No, it's only your kid that slow.

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<v Speaker 2>Actually, their bus arrives later, let me tell you.

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<v Speaker 1>So I go to not in Harlow, to a place

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<v Speaker 1>to drop my child off. And this particular school is

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<v Speaker 1>not inhabited by the people of of Harlow, but the

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<v Speaker 1>surrounding villages that have lots of land. So I get

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<v Speaker 1>I get mums in cars that are more than my

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<v Speaker 1>yearly salary turning up and sort of they're in their

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<v Speaker 1>gym where they've already done a two hour PT session

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<v Speaker 1>and then they come and have a little saunter in

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<v Speaker 1>and they're probably gone to their coffee mornings and whatever else.

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<v Speaker 3>But this isn't a private school, but it is is

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<v Speaker 3>basically been he's been Phillips.

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<v Speaker 1>It's actually a thing called a forest school.

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<v Speaker 2>Is this just a forest that you leave your child in?

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<v Speaker 1>I had to sign a consent form to say that

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<v Speaker 1>I was okay with a two year old to use

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<v Speaker 1>a drill independently. So a trill, Yeah, an actual drill,

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<v Speaker 1>hand drill, I take it, I assume. So I didn't

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<v Speaker 1>really go into the detail too much.

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<v Speaker 2>But is she putting a shift in on the tools?

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<v Speaker 2>You've got a CSCs card.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, she has got a c SCS card and they

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<v Speaker 1>make her have steals and a hard hat on site

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<v Speaker 1>every day and a high vis. But they do actually

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<v Speaker 1>wear a high vis. They have to.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I rather like that idea. That is a hell

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<v Speaker 3>of a good way is that, if you went and

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<v Speaker 3>looked at it, every single major infrastructure project that ever

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<v Speaker 3>gets done in this country is a complete disaster and

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<v Speaker 3>eventually it will come out as the y HS two

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<v Speaker 3>has taken sort of you know for years is because

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<v Speaker 3>it's been built by two year old.

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<v Speaker 2>That's the problem.

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<v Speaker 1>What you needed was more kids, more kids down the mines.

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<v Speaker 1>He's just generally more kids, just putting a shift in

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<v Speaker 1>the good old. On a serious note, forest school is

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<v Speaker 1>really good for kids. Being outdoors is significantly better. I

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<v Speaker 1>know in the winter it's a bit it's a bit brutal,

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<v Speaker 1>and they do go outside in you lose a few

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<v Speaker 1>every year. Yeah, but you know, only the strongest survive.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm the fastest.

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<v Speaker 3>So yeah, listen, I want to know because mister Prudo

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<v Speaker 3>put a cryptic thing on that he's been pretending to

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<v Speaker 3>be a farmer today, to what degree have you been

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<v Speaker 3>masquerading as a farmer then.

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<v Speaker 2>To the degree where I've been helping people point to

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<v Speaker 2>cameras towards farmers, so doing that kind of thing. So

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<v Speaker 2>I've been talking to a very nice farmer who makes

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<v Speaker 2>very nice milk that goes into making very nice cheese.

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<v Speaker 2>And I've been converted over to the cheese mindset.

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<v Speaker 3>What is the cheese mindset?

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<v Speaker 2>You cheese? Maxine, the cheese is okay, because I don't

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<v Speaker 2>think that cheese is okay. I hate the idea of

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<v Speaker 2>uncooked cheese.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, you have more strange.

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<v Speaker 2>Two days into the three days gig of working with

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<v Speaker 2>the cheese people, I had to admit that I don't

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<v Speaker 2>like cheese. I don't like your cheese. I don't like

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<v Speaker 2>any cheese. Was is there a lot of it?

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<v Speaker 3>Feels like that?

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<v Speaker 1>Was Was it a moment? Was it a crisis moment

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<v Speaker 1>where they all surrounded you and poked small holes out

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<v Speaker 1>of you?

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<v Speaker 2>You were in a cold, cold store and a man

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<v Speaker 2>was aggressively pointing a sample of cheese at me to

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<v Speaker 2>try it. And it was actually it was a very

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<v Speaker 2>nice cheddar, as a very rich cheddar. It was actually

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<v Speaker 2>quite good. It did quite like it. So it wasn't

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<v Speaker 2>just saying that to get out of their alive to

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<v Speaker 2>not get buried in the effluent pile of whey that's

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<v Speaker 2>out the back of the cheesetairy. I did actually enjoy it,

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<v Speaker 2>although I did pick up a nice tipbit. You cheese

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<v Speaker 2>grading with cheese, so you put like a core sampler

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<v Speaker 2>thing in and you twist it and pull it out

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<v Speaker 2>and then you crumble a bit off and warm with

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<v Speaker 2>it between your hands, and then that's how you sort

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<v Speaker 2>of grade that the cheese is good and that it's

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<v Speaker 2>suitable for sale. And it's a suitable type the traditional thing,

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm fairly sure this is for Cheddar. It might

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<v Speaker 2>be for chesha as well. Is gun metal? So the

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<v Speaker 2>traditionally used to make them out of the barrels of

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<v Speaker 2>four ten shotguns. No way, Yeah, this beautiful little metal

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<v Speaker 2>tool is a piece of gun metal.

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<v Speaker 3>I know the thing. Yes that certainly it's got like

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<v Speaker 3>an angle then to it that they dive in with

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<v Speaker 3>it almost like a screw top handle on the top

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<v Speaker 3>like a bottle open.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it looks like somewhere between a bottle open and

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<v Speaker 2>something you jam into a birch treat to get the

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<v Speaker 2>sap out, somewhere between the two of those. But I

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<v Speaker 2>thought that was a nice little touch. I thought, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>having that in the back pocket for a pub quiz

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<v Speaker 2>at some point.

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<v Speaker 3>With a four ten barrel. Isn't that wonderful? Because the

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<v Speaker 3>four ten is going to become obsolete, Curtsey.

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<v Speaker 2>You won't be able to get it, no, because.

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<v Speaker 3>Courtesy of the lead ban is that you know that's it.

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<v Speaker 3>You can't you steal really in a four ten it's

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<v Speaker 3>going to become an obsolete thing.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I don't think anyone will make us steal cartridge,

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<v Speaker 2>will we.

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<v Speaker 3>I know that the guys at Shooting Star that I

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<v Speaker 3>think it's joker. I have got this hybridge shot which

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<v Speaker 3>is sort of an alloy type thing, and they can

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<v Speaker 3>make that down into four ten cartridges. But it's I mean,

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<v Speaker 3>it'd suddenly become an expensive thing. So what used to

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<v Speaker 3>be like a rabbiting cartridge? You're suddenly going, God, I

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<v Speaker 3>just shot one fifty at a rabbit. What was a rabbit?

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<v Speaker 3>Re youself for twenty three.

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<v Speaker 2>P so loss making rabbits?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, bismuth round for a rabbit in this.

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<v Speaker 2>Age of efficiency and you know, using AI and things

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<v Speaker 2>like that to constantly increase production. I was having a

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<v Speaker 2>conversation with Amy on the way to way to this

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<v Speaker 2>place this morning, and we were we needed a shorthand

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<v Speaker 2>for animals and roadkill animals that you know how you

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<v Speaker 2>use roadkill at all as a sort of landmark. Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>if you see a particularly interesting bit of roadkill, you

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<v Speaker 2>send it to your friend, don't you.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, I don't what you're wrong?

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<v Speaker 2>Turn right after the very large red deer carcass or

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<v Speaker 2>something like that roadkill sort of, you know, the deer

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<v Speaker 2>carcass of this type of deer or whatever is too long.

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<v Speaker 2>It takes too long to say. So what we need

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<v Speaker 2>to do is shorten it into a sort of portmanteau.

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<v Speaker 2>So we need flat and then name of animal, so

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<v Speaker 2>you don't need the whole word flat. You can just

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<v Speaker 2>go for flat. Flat rabbit becomes flat rabbit. Yeah, it's

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<v Speaker 2>floral squitche No, you're gonna be all you could be

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<v Speaker 2>fledgehog cadn't you?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I was thinking more squige because it always seems

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<v Speaker 3>to be Pearl's hedgehogs. They don't get flat. They might

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<v Speaker 3>get smeared smear. Yeah, yeah, poor old things and their

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<v Speaker 3>little teeth and they're sort of smeared across the road.

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<v Speaker 2>What else would you get? You get flunt jack.

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<v Speaker 3>I've called them similar flatger fl fliging, fldging.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I've been a few flidgeings.

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<v Speaker 3>We've had a large fled deer stinking and slowly decaying

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<v Speaker 3>on the road in between. Here we aren't skull, which

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<v Speaker 3>is not it actually does look like it's on skull,

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<v Speaker 3>and the bornham parva just on that bit of the

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<v Speaker 3>road there in between that on the way to Eye

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<v Speaker 3>and the Diss Road. These are all places that Richard

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<v Speaker 3>actually refuses to believe actually exists.

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<v Speaker 2>Were made up for the show mids of My Murders.

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<v Speaker 2>I believe You're on your Way to Souls meant to

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<v Speaker 2>be in summer, but somehow filmed in winter.

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<v Speaker 3>That's right, and it's been it's laid there for a

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<v Speaker 3>heck of a long while. Although I have to say,

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know if you saw the news report, but

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<v Speaker 3>it did make me chuckle. Is that the supposedly really

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<v Speaker 3>hardcore reform councils is they had to put a set

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<v Speaker 3>of temporary traffic lights. This was in Essex.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes Callum's fault.

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<v Speaker 3>They had to put a set of temporary traffic lights

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<v Speaker 3>around a month jack that had been run over and

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<v Speaker 3>was lying on the side of the road. And because

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<v Speaker 3>obviously some council employees I'd moved now is stinking, because

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<v Speaker 3>obviously it had blown up and now was bit wreaky

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<v Speaker 3>because of the high heat. It was easier in inverted

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<v Speaker 3>commas to put up the road into a single lane,

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<v Speaker 3>a set of temporary traffic lights and cones around this

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<v Speaker 3>carcass of a munk jack. So you know, if we

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<v Speaker 3>are actually looking at this doge thing, come on, reform,

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<v Speaker 3>pull your finger out and just get some counsel employees

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<v Speaker 3>with a stronger stomach hunt servants. They're all going to

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<v Speaker 3>be made redundant because of the trail hunting man that

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<v Speaker 3>they're cutting up stuff like that for a living.

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<v Speaker 2>I've got a top tip for moving roadkill of any size.

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<v Speaker 2>If you go check it's dead first. Well, the keyword

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<v Speaker 2>there is kill. You know road maame, you need a

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<v Speaker 2>different different.

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<v Speaker 1>Just id id that's definitely not alive.

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<v Speaker 2>Just go along a tap its eyeball, just an angry.

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<v Speaker 1>Badger just on the side of the.

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<v Speaker 2>Something called a hook a roun or a piccaroon or

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<v Speaker 2>a sappie, which is sort of a it looks like

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<v Speaker 2>a pickaxe of the weird shortened hook on the end.

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<v Speaker 2>Use it in forestry for dragging logs around the grate.

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<v Speaker 2>But one of those you can hook it into the

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<v Speaker 2>leg of something and just drag it out the way.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but what if you're a bit inaccurate and you

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<v Speaker 3>then puncture its guts and then it just sprays you in.

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<v Speaker 3>No see, I would go for the tongue clay more,

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<v Speaker 3>I go for the tongs and go for whatever bit

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<v Speaker 3>is least squished gold. He bought me a pair. It's

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<v Speaker 3>so funny. I've got a pair of steel log tongues

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<v Speaker 3>that he bought me because he was so fed up

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<v Speaker 3>with me looking at as I'm trying to pick up big,

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<v Speaker 3>heavy logs that he's just dropped on my head by

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<v Speaker 3>buying my bare hands. He bought me that as a

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<v Speaker 3>Christmas present. You know, I just shows you that that

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<v Speaker 3>ours is not just a business relationship, is one of caring.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, bought me that, right, Yeah, yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>In our semi occasional series of we take I'm about

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<v Speaker 2>to do things that he hasn't done before. I think

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<v Speaker 2>we should go and do a day of identifying and

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<v Speaker 2>using forestry tools.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, yes, why don't you just get we're doing Instagram real,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll just blind rank you just show me pictures of

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<v Speaker 1>forestry tools and I'll just tell you what I think

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<v Speaker 1>they might be for.

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<v Speaker 3>I think we want to do it in the Forest

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<v Speaker 3>of Dean though. I think we should go because I mean,

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<v Speaker 3>I know that there is like a communication problem with

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<v Speaker 3>our good friend Nick from the Forest of Dean and

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<v Speaker 3>Callum is that they both speak English, but not in

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<v Speaker 3>a way that one another of them understand. And they

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<v Speaker 3>could go out and we could just lay these things

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<v Speaker 3>out and we say Nick, what is that? And you

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<v Speaker 3>go that be a wrap? And the next thing as Calum.

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<v Speaker 2>Go you what? What did he says?

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<v Speaker 3>Is there a captions option on nick? Ah?

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<v Speaker 2>What is this the hard of hearing?

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<v Speaker 3>Now? Listen, I'm interested Callum angling and this sort of weather?

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<v Speaker 3>Is it ethical to go fishing when the water temperatures

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<v Speaker 3>are so high? Talk me through that.

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<v Speaker 1>So certain fish pike. If you're pike fishing now and

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<v Speaker 1>you catch a pike, it will probably die, right, So

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<v Speaker 1>it's really it's a poor choice to go pike fishing

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<v Speaker 1>in this kind of weather. They So, what happens when

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<v Speaker 1>you get this kind of weather is the sun hits

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<v Speaker 1>the water. The oxygen is always dropping at night because

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<v Speaker 1>you've got lots and lots of pond weed and stuff.

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<v Speaker 1>At night, the oxygen that's in the water get sucked

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<v Speaker 1>in by all of the plant life, and then you'll

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<v Speaker 1>just find oxygen crashes all the time, and you get

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<v Speaker 1>things like algae blooms, and then the alga ballooons come

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<v Speaker 1>up and when the alga blooons drop like they often

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00:14:59.200 --> 00:15:01.799
<v Speaker 1>drop once you get a bit of water and the

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<v Speaker 1>water temperature drops quickly, and then they take all the

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<v Speaker 1>oxygen with it, so you get you go from half

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00:15:07.240 --> 00:15:10.759
<v Speaker 1>decent oxygen to like terrible oxygen and lack of wind

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<v Speaker 1>as well. Luckily yesterday it was quite windy, but the

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00:15:13.519 --> 00:15:17.279
<v Speaker 1>lack of wind does no good for oxygen levels, so

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<v Speaker 1>when they're when you catch a fish in those conditions,

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00:15:21.200 --> 00:15:24.559
<v Speaker 1>they stress themselves out and then they don't do too

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<v Speaker 1>good afterwards. Some places different, but a lot certain fish

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00:15:31.279 --> 00:15:36.879
<v Speaker 1>aren't very hardy. I fish for carp in the summer months.

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<v Speaker 1>You can probably fish for chubb because the sort of

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00:15:41.080 --> 00:15:44.919
<v Speaker 1>places you're fishing are usually streamy water that's running, and

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00:15:44.960 --> 00:15:49.759
<v Speaker 1>they're pretty hardcore. But most other fish I won't tend

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<v Speaker 1>to fish for.

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<v Speaker 2>What about because the river levels are so low, you've

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00:15:54.600 --> 00:15:57.679
<v Speaker 2>got the few pools and deeper areas that you do have.

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00:15:57.799 --> 00:16:00.840
<v Speaker 2>That's where people are going fishing and doing and paddling

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00:16:00.879 --> 00:16:03.600
<v Speaker 2>around now as well? What about the effects there, because

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00:16:03.639 --> 00:16:05.879
<v Speaker 2>is that just driving the fish back into shallower water

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<v Speaker 2>away for the pools or.

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<v Speaker 1>What I'd say if they've got someone paddling around in it.

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00:16:10.600 --> 00:16:13.360
<v Speaker 1>That's probably good for the water because it agitates the

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00:16:13.399 --> 00:16:15.600
<v Speaker 1>water and gets some oxygen in. Like the best thing

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00:16:15.639 --> 00:16:17.279
<v Speaker 1>you can do if you want, if you want a

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00:16:17.279 --> 00:16:21.919
<v Speaker 1>fishery to do well and not suffer from oxygen crashes,

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00:16:22.000 --> 00:16:24.960
<v Speaker 1>just just put an air etor in it. Just get

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00:16:25.000 --> 00:16:28.559
<v Speaker 1>yourself some kind of like water fountain or something like that.

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00:16:30.279 --> 00:16:32.399
<v Speaker 1>And that's what the Environment Agency will do. If you

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00:16:32.480 --> 00:16:35.480
<v Speaker 1>see a place with a if you see fish in distress,

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00:16:35.879 --> 00:16:40.159
<v Speaker 1>you should call the Environment Agency because they will often

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00:16:40.440 --> 00:16:42.720
<v Speaker 1>there's a lot of bad things said about the Environment Agency,

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00:16:42.799 --> 00:16:44.759
<v Speaker 1>but if you do see fish in distress and you

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00:16:44.840 --> 00:16:47.159
<v Speaker 1>ring the Environment Agency, there will usually come out and

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00:16:47.200 --> 00:16:49.840
<v Speaker 1>try and rectify the problem. They will put air ators

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00:16:49.879 --> 00:16:53.840
<v Speaker 1>in and they will and will sort it out. And

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00:16:54.200 --> 00:16:59.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm reliably informed it is the NRW in Wales Natural

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<v Speaker 1>Resources Wales.

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<v Speaker 2>What if I throw a soda stream in there, You.

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00:17:03.159 --> 00:17:06.240
<v Speaker 1>Could probably throw a soda stream in there. All of

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00:17:06.279 --> 00:17:09.440
<v Speaker 1>this is just for entertainment and should not be used.

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00:17:10.839 --> 00:17:13.839
<v Speaker 2>Do not revive your fish using the advice of country Slide.

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00:17:14.680 --> 00:17:16.960
<v Speaker 1>We cannot be held legally responsible for the death of

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00:17:17.000 --> 00:17:17.440
<v Speaker 1>your pike.

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00:17:17.839 --> 00:17:21.279
<v Speaker 3>Now listen, I've got an idea, right because we've just

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00:17:21.480 --> 00:17:25.960
<v Speaker 3>veered off onto angling. Right. I was thinking at my

319
00:17:26.160 --> 00:17:30.519
<v Speaker 3>wedding because I got married on the banks of the

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00:17:30.559 --> 00:17:37.599
<v Speaker 3>beautiful river tweed. That's Driver, one of the finest salmon pools,

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00:17:37.799 --> 00:17:43.039
<v Speaker 3>the Driver Abbey stretch of the tweed. And on each table,

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00:17:43.160 --> 00:17:47.799
<v Speaker 3>rather than putting a table number, I painted my favorite.

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00:17:48.240 --> 00:17:49.680
<v Speaker 1>Shooting Times contributor.

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00:17:50.079 --> 00:17:55.200
<v Speaker 3>No I didn't. I painted dry flies that I've caught

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00:17:55.720 --> 00:18:00.759
<v Speaker 3>trout on the river tweed in. Now I've got before

326
00:18:00.839 --> 00:18:09.880
<v Speaker 3>me the Osborne Book of Flies for Salmon, right, Okay,

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00:18:09.880 --> 00:18:14.279
<v Speaker 3>Now I want to do true or false? Are these

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00:18:14.960 --> 00:18:17.599
<v Speaker 3>names of salmon flies?

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00:18:18.200 --> 00:18:21.359
<v Speaker 2>Okay? You can play along at home.

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00:18:21.599 --> 00:18:25.160
<v Speaker 3>A long at home? Is it true or false? The

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00:18:25.279 --> 00:18:34.400
<v Speaker 3>kidney punch, I'm going to say true.

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00:18:35.720 --> 00:18:36.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to go false.

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00:18:37.440 --> 00:18:44.039
<v Speaker 3>Richard is correct, it's actually the winter punch, which yeah, okay, okay.

334
00:18:44.680 --> 00:18:47.240
<v Speaker 3>The wooly bugger black.

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00:18:50.000 --> 00:18:53.799
<v Speaker 2>True, I know this is true. Yes, didn't you lose

336
00:18:53.839 --> 00:18:57.279
<v Speaker 2>one because of my fly tank? Yes?

337
00:18:57.279 --> 00:19:02.319
<v Speaker 3>Absolutely is then went oh bugger as it flew off.

338
00:19:02.960 --> 00:19:08.000
<v Speaker 3>It's a good fly. It's a multi purpose fly, particularly

339
00:19:08.200 --> 00:19:14.839
<v Speaker 3>I've found in very light, bright water conditions. Okay, here

340
00:19:14.880 --> 00:19:21.599
<v Speaker 3>we go, candle lit dinner. That's got to be it's

341
00:19:21.640 --> 00:19:22.799
<v Speaker 3>got to be forced.

342
00:19:23.400 --> 00:19:25.079
<v Speaker 2>I think true because it's got the meal.

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00:19:25.960 --> 00:19:30.160
<v Speaker 3>Well, it's a good thought, but it's actually winter candlelight.

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00:19:30.599 --> 00:19:35.920
<v Speaker 3>It is a it is a spider. No, it's a

345
00:19:35.960 --> 00:19:42.839
<v Speaker 3>fly with silver tinsel, fluorescent orange floss and medium dark

346
00:19:43.079 --> 00:19:46.680
<v Speaker 3>orange seals fur. I've never seen an orange seal.

347
00:19:47.519 --> 00:19:50.680
<v Speaker 1>I come to Essex. It's just it's mostly just fake town.

348
00:19:51.240 --> 00:19:57.200
<v Speaker 2>Is that the old the SINGERX right final one?

349
00:19:58.519 --> 00:20:00.519
<v Speaker 3>Traffic ticket?

350
00:20:02.079 --> 00:20:02.319
<v Speaker 1>True?

351
00:20:02.960 --> 00:20:04.880
<v Speaker 2>False, but the real one's called traffic light.

352
00:20:05.519 --> 00:20:08.359
<v Speaker 3>It's a traffic ticket, is actually a real thing. It's

353
00:20:08.440 --> 00:20:14.839
<v Speaker 3>gold tinsel, lemon wood duck fibers, peacock hurl, lemon wood

354
00:20:15.200 --> 00:20:19.279
<v Speaker 3>duck flank, and a badger hackle. Basically, you've got every

355
00:20:19.319 --> 00:20:22.000
<v Speaker 3>single thing that makes that fly. Would probably get you

356
00:20:22.200 --> 00:20:26.000
<v Speaker 3>five years in Pentonville if you were found actually killing

357
00:20:26.039 --> 00:20:31.000
<v Speaker 3>those things. So I've been through this flies for salmon, feather,

358
00:20:31.039 --> 00:20:36.319
<v Speaker 3>wing and hackle. There are a further eight different editions

359
00:20:36.359 --> 00:20:40.559
<v Speaker 3>of this for various other things because fly tying, and

360
00:20:40.640 --> 00:20:44.359
<v Speaker 3>the reason it went into my mind was because friends

361
00:20:44.440 --> 00:20:48.000
<v Speaker 3>of the show, and without a shadow of doubt, the

362
00:20:48.200 --> 00:20:54.920
<v Speaker 3>least fingered person who listens to this, if you want

363
00:20:54.920 --> 00:20:59.200
<v Speaker 3>to be that okay, he has the fewest fingers of

364
00:21:01.039 --> 00:21:01.920
<v Speaker 3>our listeners.

365
00:21:04.119 --> 00:21:06.559
<v Speaker 1>He was that survey they we told you we could,

366
00:21:06.680 --> 00:21:09.519
<v Speaker 1>you couldn't put that question on the audience survey, so

367
00:21:09.559 --> 00:21:11.559
<v Speaker 1>you don't know that. So true?

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00:21:12.200 --> 00:21:15.079
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but he was showing us, wasn't he on the

369
00:21:15.119 --> 00:21:19.839
<v Speaker 3>WhatsApp group about his about his a how he set

370
00:21:19.920 --> 00:21:22.920
<v Speaker 3>up his fishing rod because he has fewer fingers than

371
00:21:23.000 --> 00:21:26.799
<v Speaker 3>most of us, and how the real works, but also

372
00:21:26.880 --> 00:21:30.000
<v Speaker 3>how he ties flies on, which was fascinating. But I

373
00:21:30.039 --> 00:21:33.680
<v Speaker 3>don't think he's into fly tying. Now, callum, you are

374
00:21:33.759 --> 00:21:35.720
<v Speaker 3>a bit of a fly tiist, aren't you.

375
00:21:36.319 --> 00:21:37.200
<v Speaker 1>Well, no, I'm not.

376
00:21:37.640 --> 00:21:43.599
<v Speaker 3>But look look at this. Look vice ladies and gentlemen.

377
00:21:43.640 --> 00:21:47.960
<v Speaker 3>He is showing us his vice. Now I'm not talking about.

378
00:21:48.799 --> 00:21:56.880
<v Speaker 1>So I went on my favorite Chinese auction site and.

379
00:21:57.680 --> 00:22:00.119
<v Speaker 2>Other versions are available, but not really now it's all.

380
00:22:00.720 --> 00:22:03.279
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, no, No, it wasn't Temu. It was Ali Express,

381
00:22:03.440 --> 00:22:08.240
<v Speaker 1>which you know, go ally Express, and I bought a

382
00:22:08.240 --> 00:22:11.480
<v Speaker 1>general paupose fly tying kit.

383
00:22:13.200 --> 00:22:15.200
<v Speaker 3>So it had.

384
00:22:16.720 --> 00:22:19.359
<v Speaker 1>I had ordered literally every bit you could possibly imagine,

385
00:22:19.400 --> 00:22:23.559
<v Speaker 1>and I went on too Essential fly so they sell

386
00:22:24.039 --> 00:22:27.799
<v Speaker 1>The website looks awful and you might feel like you

387
00:22:27.880 --> 00:22:31.599
<v Speaker 1>might get scammed, but I ordered all the stuff from there,

388
00:22:32.279 --> 00:22:34.680
<v Speaker 1>and then a lady phoned me up and she said

389
00:22:34.960 --> 00:22:39.799
<v Speaker 1>to me. She said to me, oh, you've ordered the

390
00:22:39.880 --> 00:22:44.160
<v Speaker 1>one one twenty d Denny air thing and that's really

391
00:22:44.599 --> 00:22:46.799
<v Speaker 1>that's really strong, but we don't have that in stock.

392
00:22:46.839 --> 00:22:49.960
<v Speaker 1>We have this one, and this one's this tension and

393
00:22:50.039 --> 00:22:52.279
<v Speaker 1>this one comes in this color. But you know, if

394
00:22:52.279 --> 00:22:54.599
<v Speaker 1>you tie it too tight, what kind of hooks are

395
00:22:54.599 --> 00:22:57.000
<v Speaker 1>you using? She went into all this detail, and I

396
00:22:57.039 --> 00:22:59.839
<v Speaker 1>was like, look, I know some of the words that

397
00:22:59.880 --> 00:23:00.559
<v Speaker 1>you just said.

398
00:23:01.039 --> 00:23:05.759
<v Speaker 3>I do not know what you.

399
00:23:04.000 --> 00:23:07.440
<v Speaker 1>See the string stuff, I'd really like the string stuff

400
00:23:07.440 --> 00:23:10.759
<v Speaker 1>for putting it round the hook. And she said, say less,

401
00:23:10.759 --> 00:23:12.680
<v Speaker 1>I'll sort you out. So she sent me this stuff,

402
00:23:12.799 --> 00:23:15.480
<v Speaker 1>but they literally wrung you, wrung me up. It's like

403
00:23:15.519 --> 00:23:18.759
<v Speaker 1>a family run business, she said. If you call back tomorrow,

404
00:23:19.720 --> 00:23:23.559
<v Speaker 1>they'll be like fly tying expert here that will that

405
00:23:23.599 --> 00:23:26.640
<v Speaker 1>you can guide you through absolutely anything. Which which company

406
00:23:26.720 --> 00:23:31.359
<v Speaker 1>was that kin It's called Essential Fly and they've got

407
00:23:31.359 --> 00:23:34.319
<v Speaker 1>a stock of everything. They sort you out with whatever

408
00:23:34.359 --> 00:23:36.839
<v Speaker 1>you need. And then I've got I had to buy it.

409
00:23:37.000 --> 00:23:40.400
<v Speaker 1>But I don't know anyone that kills deer. Unfortunately, I

410
00:23:40.480 --> 00:23:43.559
<v Speaker 1>know lots of people I just was impatient. But I bought.

411
00:23:44.200 --> 00:23:45.279
<v Speaker 1>I bought the deer hair.

412
00:23:46.240 --> 00:23:48.759
<v Speaker 2>He's holding up to the camera, ladies and gentlemen, the

413
00:23:48.880 --> 00:23:53.359
<v Speaker 2>smallest piece of deer deer for I have ever seen.

414
00:23:54.079 --> 00:23:58.319
<v Speaker 2>It's like that would basically be one corner point of

415
00:23:58.359 --> 00:24:01.359
<v Speaker 2>a MANKINI of of deer skin.

416
00:24:02.160 --> 00:24:06.000
<v Speaker 1>A good stroke of an axe. Basically, it's what I'm suggesting.

417
00:24:06.200 --> 00:24:08.000
<v Speaker 1>But you know, be careful with those splatters.

418
00:24:08.000 --> 00:24:12.119
<v Speaker 3>We have to say I did a wonderful shooting times

419
00:24:12.240 --> 00:24:16.039
<v Speaker 3>piece back when the shooting times was not done by AI.

420
00:24:16.880 --> 00:24:24.279
<v Speaker 3>And you know when Patrick Patrick, allegedly Patrick Galbraith, said

421
00:24:24.599 --> 00:24:28.519
<v Speaker 3>give me an idea, and I went, okay, what dog

422
00:24:29.359 --> 00:24:34.519
<v Speaker 3>can catch the most fish? And a friend of mine

423
00:24:34.559 --> 00:24:38.720
<v Speaker 3>called Adam Bragg, who's a brilliant stocksman, makes beautiful gunstocks

424
00:24:38.720 --> 00:24:42.440
<v Speaker 3>and they also beautiful cabinets and whatnot. He's a very

425
00:24:42.559 --> 00:24:48.359
<v Speaker 3>very good fly angler, and we tied flies from different

426
00:24:48.480 --> 00:24:52.240
<v Speaker 3>dog hair with a slight nod to Hugh Folcus, because

427
00:24:52.319 --> 00:24:58.839
<v Speaker 3>Hugh Folcus, the great angler. He rather infamously once went

428
00:24:59.480 --> 00:25:04.000
<v Speaker 3>to someone invited him to go fishing from their place.

429
00:25:04.720 --> 00:25:09.480
<v Speaker 3>He then promptly slept with his host's wife and then

430
00:25:09.559 --> 00:25:13.640
<v Speaker 3>realized he hadn't bought his fly box with him, so

431
00:25:13.920 --> 00:25:17.880
<v Speaker 3>plucked some hairs from out of the chaps golden retriever

432
00:25:18.599 --> 00:25:22.160
<v Speaker 3>and hey presto, one of the finest sea trout flies

433
00:25:22.200 --> 00:25:26.720
<v Speaker 3>that's ever been tied. The golden retriever came from it.

434
00:25:26.839 --> 00:25:28.640
<v Speaker 3>So he not only slept with his wife, he also

435
00:25:28.720 --> 00:25:32.680
<v Speaker 3>Nickedy's dogs fur and turned it into a fly. So

436
00:25:32.799 --> 00:25:36.119
<v Speaker 3>we tried different breeds of dogs.

437
00:25:36.440 --> 00:25:39.039
<v Speaker 2>I thought you were about to say you've tried different

438
00:25:39.079 --> 00:25:42.960
<v Speaker 2>different Yes, hundreds of different went through the entire audience

439
00:25:43.000 --> 00:25:44.160
<v Speaker 2>of shooting times.

440
00:25:44.599 --> 00:25:49.559
<v Speaker 3>I was too tired to go fishing afterwards. And if

441
00:25:49.680 --> 00:25:52.920
<v Speaker 3>memory serves me right, it was the spring of Spaniel

442
00:25:53.160 --> 00:26:00.000
<v Speaker 3>what won it, and I tied Cocker spaniel golden retree.

443
00:26:00.440 --> 00:26:05.160
<v Speaker 3>I took some Golden retriever fur from Jeremy Squirrel's dog Margo,

444
00:26:05.880 --> 00:26:09.359
<v Speaker 3>and I also took some cocker poo fur, which I

445
00:26:09.599 --> 00:26:15.279
<v Speaker 3>wholly don't hypoallergenic flies love it. It's sat there, there's

446
00:26:15.319 --> 00:26:19.359
<v Speaker 3>a map of the water like a flipping bloom. That

447
00:26:19.480 --> 00:26:22.079
<v Speaker 3>was no use at all. But Adam, who I have

448
00:26:22.160 --> 00:26:24.039
<v Speaker 3>to say is a far better angler than I am.

449
00:26:24.160 --> 00:26:30.200
<v Speaker 3>He won with some rather cunning sort of clinkhammer type

450
00:26:30.279 --> 00:26:33.079
<v Speaker 3>thing which he had tied would spring a spaniel fur,

451
00:26:33.519 --> 00:26:37.799
<v Speaker 3>and so we could safely say by scientific analysis that

452
00:26:37.839 --> 00:26:40.559
<v Speaker 3>the spring of spaniel is best at killing trout.

453
00:26:41.920 --> 00:26:42.200
<v Speaker 1>Fair.

454
00:26:42.960 --> 00:26:45.519
<v Speaker 2>There's nowhere to go from that, is there? There's no secretary.

455
00:26:45.880 --> 00:26:48.359
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to have to try don fur as a thing.

456
00:26:48.480 --> 00:26:51.920
<v Speaker 1>So with the deer hair, does anyone want to guess

457
00:26:51.960 --> 00:26:52.559
<v Speaker 1>what you make.

458
00:26:53.079 --> 00:26:53.960
<v Speaker 3>Dog biscuit fly?

459
00:26:54.640 --> 00:26:55.279
<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

460
00:26:55.440 --> 00:26:57.240
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, have you made a dog biscuit flight?

461
00:26:58.359 --> 00:27:01.519
<v Speaker 1>Here we go, Here's what I made earlier for Just

462
00:27:01.640 --> 00:27:03.279
<v Speaker 1>describe it for the audience at home.

463
00:27:03.799 --> 00:27:06.599
<v Speaker 3>Okay, So, ladies and gentlemen, what he's done is it

464
00:27:06.640 --> 00:27:10.160
<v Speaker 3>basically looks like you know, the fluff that you get

465
00:27:10.359 --> 00:27:10.960
<v Speaker 3>in your belly.

466
00:27:12.200 --> 00:27:13.359
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it looks like that.

467
00:27:13.480 --> 00:27:17.880
<v Speaker 3>So it's a sort of round pom pom of h.

468
00:27:18.519 --> 00:27:22.839
<v Speaker 3>I mean it looks slightly like a pedigree chum mixer,

469
00:27:22.880 --> 00:27:25.680
<v Speaker 3>which I assume that you would you use that for cast.

470
00:27:25.759 --> 00:27:29.319
<v Speaker 1>So, yeah, you throw the chum mixers out and then

471
00:27:29.799 --> 00:27:31.880
<v Speaker 1>and then you put the fly out. But the ones

472
00:27:31.920 --> 00:27:37.240
<v Speaker 1>you buy in the shop are when you buy if

473
00:27:37.240 --> 00:27:39.240
<v Speaker 1>you can get them from like Fulling Meal and stuff

474
00:27:39.279 --> 00:27:43.440
<v Speaker 1>like that. Once you buy there, they're huge. They're like

475
00:27:43.519 --> 00:27:46.480
<v Speaker 1>five times the size of an actual dog biscuit. So

476
00:27:46.839 --> 00:27:49.319
<v Speaker 1>what I do is I always go to I always

477
00:27:49.319 --> 00:27:52.880
<v Speaker 1>go to the farm shop, and whatever they're discontinuing that week,

478
00:27:53.279 --> 00:27:55.920
<v Speaker 1>I just buy those dog biscuits. They've got like one

479
00:27:56.039 --> 00:27:59.920
<v Speaker 1>bag of Skinner's pup or something like that left before

480
00:28:00.039 --> 00:28:03.200
<v Speaker 1>they start stocking a different puppy food. I just buy

481
00:28:03.240 --> 00:28:06.240
<v Speaker 1>whatever it is, and usually it's a tiny little dog biscuit.

482
00:28:06.960 --> 00:28:10.920
<v Speaker 1>So at least now I can buy tiny little dog biscuits.

483
00:28:11.000 --> 00:28:12.079
<v Speaker 1>And I make.

484
00:28:13.240 --> 00:28:16.480
<v Speaker 3>The fly corning is it hasn't quite got the ring

485
00:28:17.279 --> 00:28:22.480
<v Speaker 3>of something like a Campbell's fancy or a or.

486
00:28:22.920 --> 00:28:25.400
<v Speaker 1>I looked at. I wrote some funny names for flies.

487
00:28:26.079 --> 00:28:34.440
<v Speaker 1>Chernobyl ant a butt, monkey, sex, dungeon, meat whistle, dungeons, dungeon,

488
00:28:34.640 --> 00:28:35.839
<v Speaker 1>shuttle cocker merger.

489
00:28:35.960 --> 00:28:38.079
<v Speaker 3>Oh I've had I've got shuttle cocker mergers.

490
00:28:38.160 --> 00:28:43.039
<v Speaker 1>Yes, I've got some cream for that. Charlie boy hopper.

491
00:28:43.680 --> 00:28:47.119
<v Speaker 3>That's quite that's quite good for you. A trout tickler

492
00:28:48.400 --> 00:28:50.519
<v Speaker 3>that sounds like the sort of chat be thrown out

493
00:28:50.519 --> 00:28:51.039
<v Speaker 3>of the club.

494
00:28:53.880 --> 00:28:54.799
<v Speaker 1>The mortgage nymph.

495
00:28:55.400 --> 00:28:58.440
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I've met him. He was at school with me.

496
00:28:58.680 --> 00:29:02.559
<v Speaker 3>He got done for fraud the full English emerger. Yeah

497
00:29:03.079 --> 00:29:05.519
<v Speaker 3>he was equally so is in the other house.

498
00:29:06.240 --> 00:29:09.480
<v Speaker 1>There's also a fly called the Greg's Hopper, which is

499
00:29:09.519 --> 00:29:12.519
<v Speaker 1>also the career title of Glenn from Hick Micro.

500
00:29:15.720 --> 00:29:17.319
<v Speaker 3>It's a good joke.

501
00:29:18.519 --> 00:29:19.920
<v Speaker 2>Go on, are where are we?

502
00:29:20.319 --> 00:29:23.240
<v Speaker 3>Well? Where where we are? We've done fishing flies and

503
00:29:23.279 --> 00:29:28.720
<v Speaker 3>we've done callum imitating dog biscuits, so rather than just

504
00:29:28.799 --> 00:29:31.160
<v Speaker 3>super gloing a dog biscuit to a hook, which a

505
00:29:31.200 --> 00:29:32.519
<v Speaker 3>normal human being would do.

506
00:29:33.640 --> 00:29:36.720
<v Speaker 2>Correct. Before we move on to the Inevitable deck segment,

507
00:29:36.799 --> 00:29:39.200
<v Speaker 2>I would like to thank everyone who's sent in their

508
00:29:39.240 --> 00:29:42.400
<v Speaker 2>suggestions for game Fair Bingo and if you don't know

509
00:29:42.440 --> 00:29:43.759
<v Speaker 2>what the hell I'm talking about, going to listen to

510
00:29:43.839 --> 00:29:47.920
<v Speaker 2>last week's episode. We've had quite a quite a response.

511
00:29:48.400 --> 00:29:51.920
<v Speaker 2>Any favorites, yes, but I'm not going to not going

512
00:29:51.960 --> 00:29:54.119
<v Speaker 2>to spoil them. You have to buy your Bingo card

513
00:29:54.119 --> 00:29:55.839
<v Speaker 2>and give him money to the UGA w CT to

514
00:29:55.839 --> 00:29:59.160
<v Speaker 2>find out. But I expect to see people out there

515
00:30:00.079 --> 00:30:06.759
<v Speaker 2>on their Bingo card. Yeah. Well there's the one. One

516
00:30:06.799 --> 00:30:10.559
<v Speaker 2>square is have you been leered at by the rep

517
00:30:10.799 --> 00:30:13.039
<v Speaker 2>from one particular thermal imaging brand?

518
00:30:13.480 --> 00:30:16.039
<v Speaker 3>Has he given you an excessive hug?

519
00:30:16.480 --> 00:30:16.640
<v Speaker 1>Yes?

520
00:30:16.720 --> 00:30:20.079
<v Speaker 2>Yes, Dogs in Prams was one of them.

521
00:30:20.359 --> 00:30:21.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and nice.

522
00:30:22.519 --> 00:30:28.200
<v Speaker 2>The fox call bastard as he's known, so we've got

523
00:30:28.200 --> 00:30:31.519
<v Speaker 2>several several things there, so thank you to everyone who submitted.

524
00:30:32.000 --> 00:30:35.200
<v Speaker 2>It's most useful. I'll be bundled together into a thing

525
00:30:35.960 --> 00:30:37.519
<v Speaker 2>that'll be ready for next week.

526
00:30:38.160 --> 00:30:40.559
<v Speaker 3>Next week, I think we ought to go and reveal

527
00:30:40.960 --> 00:30:46.000
<v Speaker 3>where the country Slide Massive can meet up and eat

528
00:30:46.359 --> 00:30:52.359
<v Speaker 3>pheasant meats McDonald's related food on Saturday, so that we

529
00:30:52.480 --> 00:30:57.359
<v Speaker 3>can go and support one of our loyalists and most

530
00:30:57.440 --> 00:31:01.920
<v Speaker 3>handsome listeners. He is a loyalist, a loyalist, Yad's straight.

531
00:31:02.200 --> 00:31:11.279
<v Speaker 3>He's a perfect loyalist old. So listen, there's another thing

532
00:31:11.319 --> 00:31:15.759
<v Speaker 3>that I am quite interested in. I was reading in

533
00:31:15.839 --> 00:31:19.480
<v Speaker 3>the newspaper today that you know, we've had this ridiculous

534
00:31:20.880 --> 00:31:25.759
<v Speaker 3>roadmap for farming or whatever the government's called it, subtitled

535
00:31:27.039 --> 00:31:30.359
<v Speaker 3>yes You're on your own, Yes exactly. And all of

536
00:31:30.400 --> 00:31:33.480
<v Speaker 3>a sudden, all these London types who write for the

537
00:31:33.519 --> 00:31:39.079
<v Speaker 3>Telegraph and the Times, I have suddenly realized that actually,

538
00:31:39.160 --> 00:31:44.079
<v Speaker 3>perhaps British food is really quite important, and that you

539
00:31:44.119 --> 00:31:49.640
<v Speaker 3>could cut the NHS budget if we stopped eating shit,

540
00:31:50.319 --> 00:31:53.680
<v Speaker 3>and so therefore most of the food that Britain produces

541
00:31:53.799 --> 00:31:59.839
<v Speaker 3>is really good stuff. Now I am sat here drinking

542
00:32:00.160 --> 00:32:03.920
<v Speaker 3>a Beira moretti which is Italian, although it may be

543
00:32:03.920 --> 00:32:06.440
<v Speaker 3>one of those ones is actually made in It seems

544
00:32:06.480 --> 00:32:09.519
<v Speaker 3>to be it's made in Amsterdam, so there we go.

545
00:32:09.599 --> 00:32:14.640
<v Speaker 3>So it's Italian, but they normally exactly Burton on Trent

546
00:32:14.759 --> 00:32:17.480
<v Speaker 3>or tag Caster. But what I'd like to ask you

547
00:32:17.799 --> 00:32:21.200
<v Speaker 3>is that we are all three of us. We are

548
00:32:21.359 --> 00:32:26.680
<v Speaker 3>loyal by British sort of type chaps. What could you

549
00:32:26.759 --> 00:32:33.359
<v Speaker 3>not live without that has to be imported? Food wise? Hmmm?

550
00:32:35.000 --> 00:32:38.720
<v Speaker 1>For me, there's quite a lot of ingredient stuff that

551
00:32:39.680 --> 00:32:41.000
<v Speaker 1>would have to be important.

552
00:32:41.039 --> 00:32:44.119
<v Speaker 3>But like spices and stuff, you.

553
00:32:44.039 --> 00:32:47.440
<v Speaker 2>Do nonlinear cooking and ADHD cooking where you don't cook

554
00:32:47.480 --> 00:32:50.119
<v Speaker 2>the same thing twice. You buy all the things to

555
00:32:51.119 --> 00:32:54.319
<v Speaker 2>cook one thing in one particular, very elaborate way, you

556
00:32:54.359 --> 00:32:57.519
<v Speaker 2>do it three times, and then it goes next to

557
00:32:57.559 --> 00:33:01.640
<v Speaker 2>the blender and the super name, and you know it's

558
00:33:01.680 --> 00:33:04.359
<v Speaker 2>over there with the other three thousand pounds worth of

559
00:33:04.440 --> 00:33:05.279
<v Speaker 2>kitchen gadgets.

560
00:33:05.359 --> 00:33:09.240
<v Speaker 1>I really want to do like a just sometimes I

561
00:33:09.279 --> 00:33:11.400
<v Speaker 1>don't even know what I'm having for dinner. I just

562
00:33:11.440 --> 00:33:13.759
<v Speaker 1>get in a kitchen and I just I just vibe it.

563
00:33:13.880 --> 00:33:17.359
<v Speaker 1>Suddenly I'm like, ah shit, we're having a Like I'll

564
00:33:17.440 --> 00:33:22.279
<v Speaker 1>just do something really random a chicken balatine on like

565
00:33:22.319 --> 00:33:25.440
<v Speaker 1>a Wednesday night, just because you know, I saw it

566
00:33:25.480 --> 00:33:26.839
<v Speaker 1>on a YouTube video and I was like.

567
00:33:26.839 --> 00:33:31.599
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, do you ever have fish fingers or anything? No?

568
00:33:31.759 --> 00:33:33.480
<v Speaker 3>Shot bought pizza and the cow op.

569
00:33:35.839 --> 00:33:36.440
<v Speaker 1>For the kids.

570
00:33:36.480 --> 00:33:42.000
<v Speaker 2>Maybe okay, because sausage roll and a can of shandy aid, I.

571
00:33:42.000 --> 00:33:44.839
<v Speaker 3>Might do that. Take the spices out of it, because

572
00:33:44.839 --> 00:33:47.200
<v Speaker 3>obviously in the good old days these spices usually used

573
00:33:47.240 --> 00:33:49.200
<v Speaker 3>to come from the empire anyway, so it was still

574
00:33:49.599 --> 00:33:55.799
<v Speaker 3>circular production. What fruit vegetable something which is actually tangible

575
00:33:55.839 --> 00:33:58.240
<v Speaker 3>and you can hold in your hands rather than sprinkle

576
00:33:58.240 --> 00:34:01.400
<v Speaker 3>on could olive oi soy sauce?

577
00:34:02.000 --> 00:34:08.320
<v Speaker 1>You're mustard? Tomatoes are often when you get tins of

578
00:34:08.360 --> 00:34:12.400
<v Speaker 1>tomatoes for cooking anything, they're never British. Don't get it.

579
00:34:12.880 --> 00:34:14.960
<v Speaker 1>I don't think there is a British tin of tomatoes.

580
00:34:15.079 --> 00:34:21.800
<v Speaker 2>Is there no British basata or anything? Peanuts, peanut butter?

581
00:34:22.000 --> 00:34:25.159
<v Speaker 3>Oh yes, peanuts, that's very true, and that I quite

582
00:34:25.360 --> 00:34:28.519
<v Speaker 3>like nuts, and so therefore that would be something that

583
00:34:28.599 --> 00:34:31.000
<v Speaker 3>I would struggle with. That's good.

584
00:34:31.039 --> 00:34:35.719
<v Speaker 1>Do you do the dad thing where you get to

585
00:34:35.760 --> 00:34:39.000
<v Speaker 1>that certain time in your life where you get peanuts

586
00:34:39.000 --> 00:34:41.480
<v Speaker 1>and then you shake them in your hand and then

587
00:34:41.519 --> 00:34:45.079
<v Speaker 1>throw one of them in. Oh, and just and just

588
00:34:45.159 --> 00:34:48.079
<v Speaker 1>do that for no good reason whatsoever. I don't know

589
00:34:48.119 --> 00:34:49.920
<v Speaker 1>if you have to have children or you just get

590
00:34:49.960 --> 00:34:52.280
<v Speaker 1>to that stage in your life where you're juggling. You

591
00:34:52.280 --> 00:34:56.119
<v Speaker 1>can do it with eminem's as well. You're juggling six

592
00:34:56.280 --> 00:34:57.880
<v Speaker 1>m and ms and then put one in your mouth,

593
00:34:57.960 --> 00:34:59.239
<v Speaker 1>because that's a dad thing to do.

594
00:35:00.239 --> 00:35:01.880
<v Speaker 2>Well. Chocolate's off the cards entirely.

595
00:35:02.840 --> 00:35:06.559
<v Speaker 3>Yes, that's true. Yes, because we can't grow cocoa beans here.

596
00:35:06.960 --> 00:35:11.440
<v Speaker 3>Even though we have vegan chocolate, that's not chocolate, I know.

597
00:35:12.039 --> 00:35:16.599
<v Speaker 3>So we look anything that's vegan, we just ignore that

598
00:35:16.639 --> 00:35:19.239
<v Speaker 3>because that's not proper food, is it. I mean, there

599
00:35:19.280 --> 00:35:24.000
<v Speaker 3>is vegetables that's proper food. There's vegan food not proper food.

600
00:35:24.280 --> 00:35:25.800
<v Speaker 3>We can just draw a line under that.

601
00:35:25.960 --> 00:35:29.239
<v Speaker 2>Get the chart out. Food above this line, not proper

602
00:35:29.280 --> 00:35:30.119
<v Speaker 2>food exactly.

603
00:35:31.039 --> 00:35:35.440
<v Speaker 3>Yes, that's it. I mean, my wife likes an avocado

604
00:35:35.559 --> 00:35:42.599
<v Speaker 3>on toast. She just you know, she puts something with

605
00:35:42.639 --> 00:35:45.239
<v Speaker 3>a poached egg on top, she'll have an avocado. I

606
00:35:45.239 --> 00:35:45.760
<v Speaker 3>think she would.

607
00:35:47.679 --> 00:35:48.719
<v Speaker 2>That's too many things.

608
00:35:49.920 --> 00:35:53.880
<v Speaker 1>There's certain things that I worry about, like avocados. I

609
00:35:53.960 --> 00:35:56.559
<v Speaker 1>just think to myself, that's come from a long, long

610
00:35:56.599 --> 00:36:00.559
<v Speaker 1>way away, so I will eat them occasionally. They're like

611
00:36:00.880 --> 00:36:03.360
<v Speaker 1>they're almost like a treat food. I would never have

612
00:36:03.440 --> 00:36:07.079
<v Speaker 1>one every week because it it just feels like, not

613
00:36:07.119 --> 00:36:10.840
<v Speaker 1>that I'm a mad environmentalist, but like when you can

614
00:36:10.840 --> 00:36:14.639
<v Speaker 1>eat munk jak or something that you know that is

615
00:36:14.679 --> 00:36:18.400
<v Speaker 1>not only doing positive good for the environment, but you're

616
00:36:18.440 --> 00:36:20.480
<v Speaker 1>actually you know, you're taking an animal out that's going

617
00:36:20.519 --> 00:36:22.400
<v Speaker 1>to destroy a head. So you're doing good and it

618
00:36:22.480 --> 00:36:25.519
<v Speaker 1>only comes from up the road and you support people locally. Great,

619
00:36:25.800 --> 00:36:30.119
<v Speaker 1>But when you're like destroying entire habitats and flying it

620
00:36:30.159 --> 00:36:34.480
<v Speaker 1>in jets or by sea in great big tankers across

621
00:36:34.559 --> 00:36:37.559
<v Speaker 1>the ocean, so you can have so you can let

622
00:36:37.599 --> 00:36:42.000
<v Speaker 1>it go bad in the fruit bowl, yeah I'm.

623
00:36:42.199 --> 00:36:45.760
<v Speaker 3>I'm okay, so we can avocado. So we're having a

624
00:36:45.800 --> 00:36:52.840
<v Speaker 3>country slide veto on avocados. Now, interestingly, courtesy of friend

625
00:36:52.840 --> 00:36:56.199
<v Speaker 3>of the show Mike Warner, he put me in the

626
00:36:56.280 --> 00:37:01.599
<v Speaker 3>direction the fishman in the direction of Cornish sardines. So

627
00:37:01.639 --> 00:37:05.079
<v Speaker 3>they're tinned and now this is the weird thing. This

628
00:37:05.199 --> 00:37:07.599
<v Speaker 3>is just shows you how utterly bonkers. So they are

629
00:37:07.719 --> 00:37:13.760
<v Speaker 3>caught off the coast of Cornwall, shipped to Spain, where

630
00:37:13.800 --> 00:37:16.599
<v Speaker 3>they are canned, and then they are brought back to

631
00:37:16.639 --> 00:37:19.920
<v Speaker 3>the UK where you can buy cornish sardines. But I

632
00:37:20.000 --> 00:37:24.000
<v Speaker 3>now have those because I have sardines for breakfast or

633
00:37:24.039 --> 00:37:28.480
<v Speaker 3>tinned mackerel every morning because I am. I don't know,

634
00:37:29.199 --> 00:37:34.199
<v Speaker 3>Richardill probably diagnosed me with autism. But I've now decided

635
00:37:34.199 --> 00:37:38.639
<v Speaker 3>that I need these good fish oils, so I have

636
00:37:39.519 --> 00:37:41.079
<v Speaker 3>tinned sardines.

637
00:37:41.440 --> 00:37:43.000
<v Speaker 1>Or your coat looks.

638
00:37:42.639 --> 00:37:46.679
<v Speaker 3>Really light, my listrous locks, I mean it's gray, it's

639
00:37:46.719 --> 00:37:49.679
<v Speaker 3>that Admittedly they are gray, dear listener, I am brushing

640
00:37:49.719 --> 00:37:53.400
<v Speaker 3>my fingers through my gray hair. But I and I

641
00:37:53.480 --> 00:37:57.559
<v Speaker 3>discovered something even better that Mike Warner told me to do.

642
00:37:58.079 --> 00:38:03.199
<v Speaker 3>Is I decant the tin into a frying pan with

643
00:38:03.559 --> 00:38:09.199
<v Speaker 3>good British buttering, and you actually cook tin sardines briefly.

644
00:38:09.280 --> 00:38:11.800
<v Speaker 3>Then you put them on a piece of toast, which

645
00:38:12.000 --> 00:38:17.400
<v Speaker 3>I have made my own gentleman's relish butter. So that

646
00:38:17.599 --> 00:38:24.960
<v Speaker 3>is anchovies one of those funny little things capers butter

647
00:38:26.400 --> 00:38:29.559
<v Speaker 3>moon leads together nine os. So therefore those those capers

648
00:38:29.559 --> 00:38:31.519
<v Speaker 3>are from Italy something like that.

649
00:38:32.079 --> 00:38:34.519
<v Speaker 2>Make your own with the seeds of wild garlic, you know,

650
00:38:34.559 --> 00:38:38.639
<v Speaker 2>the little seed heads, the little triangular three seed things

651
00:38:39.280 --> 00:38:41.920
<v Speaker 2>do you put them in brine, then you pickle them

652
00:38:42.360 --> 00:38:43.840
<v Speaker 2>kind of with a garlice caper.

653
00:38:44.519 --> 00:38:46.280
<v Speaker 3>I mean it's delicious, but I mean I'll put that

654
00:38:46.440 --> 00:38:48.360
<v Speaker 3>it's very fishy, and then with a poached egg on

655
00:38:48.360 --> 00:38:49.079
<v Speaker 3>top for breakfast.

656
00:38:49.159 --> 00:38:52.880
<v Speaker 1>Every single morning, I swapped the capers out now for

657
00:38:53.559 --> 00:38:57.159
<v Speaker 1>chopped cordyshor on pickles. For the simple fact that I

658
00:38:57.199 --> 00:39:01.639
<v Speaker 1>open a capers and then, as you rightly pointed out,

659
00:39:02.079 --> 00:39:06.639
<v Speaker 1>open capers, use whatever it is a table a teaspoon

660
00:39:06.679 --> 00:39:09.159
<v Speaker 1>of it once and then never use it again. So

661
00:39:09.199 --> 00:39:10.559
<v Speaker 1>they all go in the bin and it cost me

662
00:39:10.679 --> 00:39:12.039
<v Speaker 1>like a few quids.

663
00:39:12.039 --> 00:39:14.119
<v Speaker 3>So use little cornish?

664
00:39:14.239 --> 00:39:16.559
<v Speaker 1>Are you cordish on things? Because I know they'll get

665
00:39:16.679 --> 00:39:19.480
<v Speaker 1>used up at some point because we'll have cold dinner

666
00:39:19.840 --> 00:39:21.079
<v Speaker 1>and pickles at some point.

667
00:39:21.320 --> 00:39:24.800
<v Speaker 3>So because of Starmer's Britain, we no longer have gentlemen's relish.

668
00:39:24.960 --> 00:39:27.760
<v Speaker 3>I've had to make my own, and I have to say.

669
00:39:27.599 --> 00:39:30.079
<v Speaker 2>It's better make my own for your decades.

670
00:39:30.079 --> 00:39:32.719
<v Speaker 3>Well, indeed, that's why your not what it was.

671
00:39:33.119 --> 00:39:34.760
<v Speaker 1>I've got a sock under the bed that.

672
00:39:36.280 --> 00:39:40.679
<v Speaker 2>What could you rehydrate that one hydration and break for

673
00:39:40.800 --> 00:39:41.840
<v Speaker 2>callums sock.

674
00:39:43.599 --> 00:39:49.440
<v Speaker 3>Twenty minutes in the hydration yeah, okay, so we've you

675
00:39:49.480 --> 00:39:51.840
<v Speaker 3>could live with I mean, could you live with that? Bananas?

676
00:39:53.360 --> 00:39:57.360
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? I mean I do quite like bananas. See my

677
00:39:57.519 --> 00:40:02.239
<v Speaker 2>secret secret easy dessert. When you don't want to make

678
00:40:02.840 --> 00:40:04.639
<v Speaker 2>I'd say, well, you don't put any effort in but

679
00:40:04.639 --> 00:40:06.360
<v Speaker 2>p Actually I was going to say, when I want

680
00:40:06.400 --> 00:40:08.400
<v Speaker 2>to make amy, go and do it with putting much

681
00:40:08.400 --> 00:40:13.559
<v Speaker 2>effort in bananas, custard, a spoonful of peanut, butter and

682
00:40:14.199 --> 00:40:15.039
<v Speaker 2>cinnamon on top.

683
00:40:15.960 --> 00:40:18.800
<v Speaker 3>See that's all foreign, isn't it foreign?

684
00:40:18.920 --> 00:40:21.800
<v Speaker 2>There's nothing in there, Nothing in there came from our fields.

685
00:40:21.880 --> 00:40:24.320
<v Speaker 3>No custard.

686
00:40:24.559 --> 00:40:27.679
<v Speaker 1>We used to have a custard factory in Birmingham.

687
00:40:28.159 --> 00:40:30.880
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but I think they still imported the vanilla pods.

688
00:40:31.079 --> 00:40:31.960
<v Speaker 3>I would imagine.

689
00:40:32.039 --> 00:40:36.559
<v Speaker 1>I can't imagine there was British va pods now. So therefore, okay,

690
00:40:37.079 --> 00:40:41.079
<v Speaker 1>chili chili you can in this country. Now, you can

691
00:40:41.119 --> 00:40:43.800
<v Speaker 1>grow those in this country. Do we ever get British chili?

692
00:40:43.840 --> 00:40:45.760
<v Speaker 1>So you've seen a British chili in the wild.

693
00:40:45.760 --> 00:40:48.920
<v Speaker 3>They're in the co op in Bottersdale.

694
00:40:49.880 --> 00:40:51.760
<v Speaker 2>I'll give you a chili plant if you want.

695
00:40:52.079 --> 00:40:53.880
<v Speaker 1>Had some good chili plants in my day, we had

696
00:40:53.920 --> 00:40:57.719
<v Speaker 1>one in my I had a shared house and I

697
00:40:57.760 --> 00:41:00.760
<v Speaker 1>had it in the conservatory. Boy did it. It went

698
00:41:00.840 --> 00:41:04.199
<v Speaker 1>really well and they were absolutely they will knock your

699
00:41:04.239 --> 00:41:06.679
<v Speaker 1>socks off. We used to shout at it and not

700
00:41:06.800 --> 00:41:10.440
<v Speaker 1>water it and plow play heavy metal to it, and

701
00:41:10.440 --> 00:41:13.840
<v Speaker 1>and they shriveled up like a like an old man's

702
00:41:13.840 --> 00:41:17.000
<v Speaker 1>old boy and they were aggressive.

703
00:41:17.039 --> 00:41:19.760
<v Speaker 3>Because of the heavy metal music. This is some I

704
00:41:19.760 --> 00:41:22.920
<v Speaker 3>think the Kings should know about, because he plays Bach

705
00:41:23.159 --> 00:41:25.400
<v Speaker 3>to his his his.

706
00:41:25.639 --> 00:41:28.559
<v Speaker 1>And they'll be like snowflake Chili would just be like

707
00:41:29.360 --> 00:41:31.800
<v Speaker 1>that'd just be you know, if you water them, give

708
00:41:31.840 --> 00:41:34.480
<v Speaker 1>them good hydration and play them peaceful music, they'll be

709
00:41:34.519 --> 00:41:38.960
<v Speaker 1>like mellow chilies. But as a hardcore played death metal

710
00:41:39.159 --> 00:41:44.480
<v Speaker 1>and and got forced to watch videos of the of

711
00:41:44.519 --> 00:41:45.880
<v Speaker 1>the towers coming down.

712
00:41:46.400 --> 00:41:52.840
<v Speaker 2>So to finish this right that came in afterwards. That

713
00:41:53.000 --> 00:41:58.000
<v Speaker 2>suck up on that one. We always there, always used

714
00:41:58.000 --> 00:41:59.639
<v Speaker 2>to be this thing that you couldn't grow chilies in

715
00:41:59.679 --> 00:42:01.760
<v Speaker 2>the UK. Hey, but it turns that you can. And

716
00:42:01.920 --> 00:42:06.079
<v Speaker 2>I'm currently growing a small section of an acre of

717
00:42:06.159 --> 00:42:09.199
<v Speaker 2>queenwa yeah at the moment, so you can grow that

718
00:42:09.280 --> 00:42:12.320
<v Speaker 2>in the UK. That's our middle class.

719
00:42:11.519 --> 00:42:12.039
<v Speaker 3>I used.

720
00:42:13.840 --> 00:42:17.559
<v Speaker 1>To eat quenoa, but and then I've just suddenly thought,

721
00:42:18.039 --> 00:42:19.400
<v Speaker 1>this is actually not nice.

722
00:42:19.679 --> 00:42:20.599
<v Speaker 2>It's just bits.

723
00:42:20.880 --> 00:42:23.360
<v Speaker 1>It is just bits. Never eat anything that sounds like

724
00:42:23.400 --> 00:42:24.199
<v Speaker 1>a karate move.

725
00:42:24.679 --> 00:42:25.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm not interested in it.

726
00:42:26.719 --> 00:42:34.440
<v Speaker 3>Actually, if you think most but wild bird seed mixes

727
00:42:34.760 --> 00:42:38.639
<v Speaker 3>have got quena in them, is that because fat hen

728
00:42:38.760 --> 00:42:41.719
<v Speaker 3>fat hen is the wild version of it, which I

729
00:42:41.760 --> 00:42:44.519
<v Speaker 3>can assure you is growing very well in my wild

730
00:42:44.599 --> 00:42:47.280
<v Speaker 3>flower patch that I'm looking out at at the moment.

731
00:42:47.760 --> 00:42:50.679
<v Speaker 3>But yeah, you can grow quen while very easily in

732
00:42:50.679 --> 00:42:52.719
<v Speaker 3>this country. I just don't think.

733
00:42:52.960 --> 00:42:55.360
<v Speaker 1>I think Jamie Oliver convinced me to eat it for

734
00:42:56.000 --> 00:42:58.320
<v Speaker 1>probably about a year and then I was like, this

735
00:42:58.440 --> 00:42:59.440
<v Speaker 1>tastes like shit.

736
00:42:59.719 --> 00:43:00.800
<v Speaker 3>I don't don't want to eat.

737
00:43:00.920 --> 00:43:02.159
<v Speaker 1>It's just bits.

738
00:43:01.880 --> 00:43:10.440
<v Speaker 3>Of stop making no no, So okay, okay. So we're

739
00:43:10.519 --> 00:43:15.280
<v Speaker 3>at a point where basically other than I mean, have

740
00:43:15.360 --> 00:43:19.440
<v Speaker 3>you got any other uses for say something like one

741
00:43:19.519 --> 00:43:22.199
<v Speaker 3>of those green things what they called I was going

742
00:43:22.239 --> 00:43:26.079
<v Speaker 3>to say aberg because you grow those in this country. No,

743
00:43:26.280 --> 00:43:28.800
<v Speaker 3>the you know the thing we were just talking about,

744
00:43:28.800 --> 00:43:30.559
<v Speaker 3>the avocard.

745
00:43:34.119 --> 00:43:37.880
<v Speaker 2>Yes, you've just admitted your posh as you're sitting in

746
00:43:37.920 --> 00:43:38.360
<v Speaker 2>your orange.

747
00:43:38.760 --> 00:43:42.719
<v Speaker 3>Yah, we got it. Orange. It's my study.

748
00:43:43.159 --> 00:43:47.400
<v Speaker 2>It's a handmade oak conservatory with a proper route.

749
00:43:48.760 --> 00:43:55.079
<v Speaker 3>Yes, and it's got even a retro bronze fan which

750
00:43:55.199 --> 00:43:58.480
<v Speaker 3>Amy's made me stop it from oscillating because it was

751
00:43:58.559 --> 00:44:00.000
<v Speaker 3>affecting my microphe.

752
00:44:00.559 --> 00:44:02.760
<v Speaker 2>Yes, we bought him a nice microphone so you can

753
00:44:02.800 --> 00:44:05.760
<v Speaker 2>actually hear him, and he immediately plugged in an electric

754
00:44:05.800 --> 00:44:06.960
<v Speaker 2>fan on the opposite.

755
00:44:06.559 --> 00:44:10.119
<v Speaker 3>Side of my fault that has suddenly gone ridiculously hot.

756
00:44:10.639 --> 00:44:13.880
<v Speaker 3>You know it's well, it probably is, actually, I mean

757
00:44:13.920 --> 00:44:17.079
<v Speaker 3>you think of that else. Yes, were quite you know

758
00:44:17.159 --> 00:44:20.519
<v Speaker 3>the amount I've smoked and the petrol guzzling cars I've

759
00:44:20.559 --> 00:44:23.920
<v Speaker 3>had ed. Milliban's got me nailed down as a as

760
00:44:23.920 --> 00:44:29.079
<v Speaker 3>a net carbon bloody emitter or something. Probably he's got

761
00:44:29.079 --> 00:44:34.920
<v Speaker 3>a fatoir on me. So anyway, we have done enormous

762
00:44:34.960 --> 00:44:39.280
<v Speaker 3>amounts of good today. So we have advised people on

763
00:44:39.880 --> 00:44:43.840
<v Speaker 3>what flies they should be tying and what dog hair

764
00:44:43.920 --> 00:44:49.320
<v Speaker 3>they should use. We have given an insight into that

765
00:44:49.400 --> 00:44:51.800
<v Speaker 3>there are very few things that you actually need to

766
00:44:51.800 --> 00:44:56.599
<v Speaker 3>buy the foreign. In actual facts, you know, there's nothing

767
00:44:56.679 --> 00:44:58.239
<v Speaker 3>you need to buy this foreign And in fact, I

768
00:44:58.280 --> 00:45:01.920
<v Speaker 3>would like anyone who it's a country slide patron to

769
00:45:02.159 --> 00:45:05.000
<v Speaker 3>sign a pledge a bit like people used to do

770
00:45:05.039 --> 00:45:08.360
<v Speaker 3>when they stop drinking back in the Victorian Times, is

771
00:45:08.400 --> 00:45:10.119
<v Speaker 3>that you will sign a pledge that I will eat

772
00:45:10.320 --> 00:45:15.000
<v Speaker 3>nothing that hasn't got a Union flag on it. And

773
00:45:15.400 --> 00:45:19.559
<v Speaker 3>we have also agreed that Paul Pousland shouldn't be let

774
00:45:19.559 --> 00:45:22.599
<v Speaker 3>anywhere near rivers at this time of year because it's

775
00:45:22.679 --> 00:45:25.079
<v Speaker 3>bad for Pike. Was that what we decided?

776
00:45:25.840 --> 00:45:31.719
<v Speaker 2>And oh yes absolutely, And you know if Laura listeners

777
00:45:31.719 --> 00:45:35.920
<v Speaker 2>would like to go and make any other suggestions for roadskill.

778
00:45:35.719 --> 00:45:46.639
<v Speaker 3>That they have seen. So anyway, is that the main

779
00:45:46.719 --> 00:45:49.559
<v Speaker 3>show done? Because I'm just very aware that that Amy

780
00:45:49.599 --> 00:45:53.840
<v Speaker 3>has also had to become a cheese farmer the last

781
00:45:53.840 --> 00:45:57.480
<v Speaker 3>few days, so she's got to edit this nonsensical squid

782
00:45:58.559 --> 00:46:00.000
<v Speaker 3>into something that almost sounds like.

783
00:46:00.079 --> 00:46:02.519
<v Speaker 2>Show right onto the after show, which is where we

784
00:46:02.559 --> 00:46:04.599
<v Speaker 2>say all the things and we can relax to say

785
00:46:04.840 --> 00:46:06.480
<v Speaker 2>the things that we don't want to say out in

786
00:46:06.519 --> 00:46:10.599
<v Speaker 2>public because we'll end up in jail, or in Callum's case,

787
00:46:10.679 --> 00:46:13.760
<v Speaker 2>the yummy mummies at the Forest School will pick up

788
00:46:13.760 --> 00:46:17.199
<v Speaker 2>on it and well ostracize him.

789
00:46:17.559 --> 00:46:19.280
<v Speaker 1>Choke on their match a lattes.

790
00:46:19.800 --> 00:46:21.440
<v Speaker 2>Goodbye, goodbye, good bye,