Speaker 1: He's a kid, So I'm not going to make jokes
about the kid and what might you know him examining
a French fry in a movie theater. But I'm pretty
sure he was staring at that French fry because it
was the only one laughed, you know, because Emily ate
all of them. Ye, yeah, yeah, yeah, she's an adult.
Can I tell you what I thought you were going
to say?
Speaker 2: That he was examining the French fry because he thought
that it was his father. That's where I thought you
were going with that. That is that dad? Hi, Hello,
and welcome to another brand spanking new episode of bad
Television that is long for bad TV. And I'm Dylan
and I'm Pat. Hello, Hello, and we are here speaking
like this because we are here to talk about the
Real Housewives of Orange County. Right. What have you been
up to me? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Huh, not much. Our power went out last night. Oh
my god, Dylan. Okay, so our power went out at
like six pm and didn't come back on until nine. Boy,
when you're just lost in the forest when the power
goes out, like whi fi, it doesn't work? Oh my god.
It was torture. Anyway, I had been recording.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm sure there are some naturalistic people, some
self sufficient survivalists out there listening, because that's what we've done,
advanced analytics on our audience, and that actually is a
size of it.
Speaker 1: Is that true?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I get you. Go. Oh, how sad is that?
Somebody going three hours with that Wi Fi?
Speaker 1: What a core power? We had to get candles, you
know what?
Speaker 2: Lay off? Okay, We're addicted to our phones and our internet. Okay,
so if that goes away for three hours, we may
fucking kill someone.
Speaker 1: Right, Although I was fine with it, however, I was
like really anxious because it's screwed up. The recording of
Orange County at the thirty two minute mark, I don't
have five minutes it's missing.
Speaker 2: Oh that's all right, I got you babe, Thanks pal, Yeah,
no problem, m I really want to go to the movies.
Speaker 1: A couple good ones out right? Yeah, Superman yep? How
many times are they going to just I guess they
just still only stop when they stop making money.
Speaker 2: Well, he's got a dog in this one.
Speaker 1: That's cute.
Speaker 2: I can't get out of the house though, I said.
I said to my wife the other night, you think
I could go to a movie by myself. She said,
you just went to a movie by yourself, and I go,
oh God.
Speaker 1: And it's true.
Speaker 2: I can't be going to movies by myself. I got
a kid now she needs help, right.
Speaker 1: No, but the kid sleeps. I really do want to
go to the movie Dylan. Once. Once poor Lucy is
over this little colic thing. Yeah, she'll sleep eighteen hours
a day. Both of you will kind of have your
lives back, which is a cruel joke of life, because
a year from now you will not not have your
life back.
Speaker 2: Right right right? Well, I resent you calling it little
just because it's the worst thing that's ever happened to
I think anybody outside of uh well, I mean.
Speaker 1: I called her little Lucy. I didn't minimize uh call
up being a horrible.
Speaker 2: Thank God, because I was like, my god, but yeah,
I really do you know, like, you know, I could
rent f one on my TV, but it is it
is going to feel like a loss, you know what
I mean. I'm definitely you want to go see Eddington?
Why don't you and me have a gay little day together?
Speaker 1: What's Eddington?
Speaker 2: It's the New ri Aster movie?
Speaker 1: Really, yeah, I could do that.
Speaker 2: You want to do that. Yeah, you know the vista
I I they they only play film there. You go.
It's like, what what are you doing? Why is rush
Hour playing? And why is rush Hour on films board?
Speaker 1: And I was questioning it.
Speaker 2: It's like, God, damn it, no one needs to see
that movie. No one needs to see Rushing.
Speaker 1: It made like three of.
Speaker 2: Those in the theater on film Like, what are we doing?
What kind of ironic night mirror are we living in? Right?
So we're here to talk about Real Housewives of Orange County.
Speaker 1: Amazing episode, Yeah, fantastic. What's our rating system?
Speaker 2: Tit's oranges oranges?
Speaker 1: And it seems a little generic even for us.
Speaker 2: I really like it. You know, sometimes you can think
in the box. You know, everybody says think out.
Speaker 1: Of the box.
Speaker 2: But it's like, Okay, we have an open heart surgery.
Somebody's like, what if we used some spray paint. It's like, let's.
Speaker 1: Stay in the box.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I think oranges is great.
Speaker 1: Oranges. Okay, let's let's do that for now. Okay, you
want to give your oranges?
Speaker 2: What we could do? Strip mall sushi restaurants? Oh yeah, wait,
strip mall fu places?
Speaker 1: What those signs all of all those Taki restaurants. They
all look the same. They're like, what do you call it?
Like Neon signs, Yeah, yeah, strip malls with uh it's
pretty a little a little long for a rating system,
but yeah, Neon signed steak joints and strip malls.
Speaker 2: How many times? And now you're thinking outside the box?
Speaker 1: Mm hmm? Yeah?
Speaker 2: But how many oranges do you give this episode?
Speaker 1: I loved it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was really fun episode.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Okay, so I want to talk about Gretchen,
who I really liked. She is back. We can hate
her because while her fiance was dying of cancer, she
was banging another guy named Steve at bass Lake, but
we can appreciate the new Gretchen who's been waiting, biding
her time studying tam rat.
Speaker 2: What was his name, Steve or was his name Slade?
Speaker 1: No, she got with Slade at her Oh oh no no, no,
she was god. She was an og in this uh
this kind of like vertical. She was twenty seven and
super hot, and she was dating a guy in his
late sixties that was in like the F one business
or something like that. Oh yeah, and he uh he
rolled snake eyes. Okay. And while he was in the
hospital with his dying breath. She was up fucking a
guy named Steve at bass Lake. Tam Rat famously called
her out for that.
Speaker 2: And bass Lake is a location or is it a
fishing store?
Speaker 1: It's a location because she went with her family.
Speaker 2: And now you've amended rolling sevens to rolling snake eyes.
Speaker 1: Rolling snake eyes is the two ones, and that is death.
Speaker 2: That's death.
Speaker 1: Hm okay, Yeah, some fucking listener a couple of years
back was like, yeah, you know there's not a seven
on a single die it takes two. So when you
roll a seven.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, anyway, and we know there aren't sevens
on dice, what kind of what kind of freaking moose
knuckles do you think we are?
Speaker 1: Let me continue. Yeah, I love that Gretchen will be
a torturous thorn in tam Rat's side this entire season
because exactly what I just laid out, Gretchen hates her
fucking guts. She attributes her to her fucking with her life,
and it's nice to have someone finally hear that has
nothing to lose. Yeah, it's gonna be a great season.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's gonna be a great season. It was lovely
to see Gretchen introduced. I give the episode ninety oranges
just for that, and uh I.
Speaker 1: Gave fourteen oranges by the way. Also one last note,
love the fourth wall being broken down to talk about
the gallery. Which is that photo shoot that they do
where they all look beautiful.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Shannon Badoor just screaming and stuff. Shannavadoor
is unwell, she is.
Speaker 1: But let's talk about Katie for a second.
Speaker 2: Dill. It is psychotic.
Speaker 1: She is not good at this. No, if we go
back to her first season, she came out of the
gates and I appreciate it with a storyline that she
knew a paparazzi that had claimed that the Debros called the.
Speaker 2: Paparazzi at Disneyland.
Speaker 1: That's right now. That story went nowhere, and I was
able to forgive her for that. But now I realize
I'm seeing patterns she behind the scenes, and she doesn't
do it well. Tries to make a lot of problems
for people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's a little corn cup pipe and I don't
even know what that means.
Speaker 1: But she is an idiot, a real idiot, you know what.
Speaker 2: You're actually pretty much right about that, because she's not
good at this Now she's getting caught and you have
to be teflon if you're going to be this bad,
like Tamra is really bad at it. Right.
Speaker 1: Well she's gotten better though, I mean, she's like doing intel.
She has her little minius.
Speaker 2: Tell Us always gets back that she was the origin
of the evil, and she she.
Speaker 1: Just says, I don't care. I cop to it.
Speaker 2: That's it.
Speaker 1: You know, you can't own it.
Speaker 2: You can't have paper mache all up and down your
arms and legs and be this this shady, you know,
this messy. You know, bitch.
Speaker 1: I'm starting to get concerned that Katie's husband, Matt might
also be a tool bag too and a con artist.
Speaker 2: Well we'll see. It takes one to know one, I mean,
takes one to marry one. That's what I meant to say.
What is with the dramatic, vignetted recap of this fucking show?
Speaker 1: It's like, all right, so this is where you are,
So you're referring to that circle maze thing at the
Golden Door. By the way, the Golden Door is going
to be going out of business in the next five years,
so Julia Roberts ain't popping in there anytime.
Speaker 2: Soon, not after this stink.
Speaker 1: No, this place looks like a rundown.
Speaker 2: You know, what, can I tell you something? You famously
said that when restaurants start doing karaoke nights, it's death.
When a high level, expensive wellness center starts having housewives there,
that's the death rattle, right, that's the slip and the
last ditch effort to try to save it. And ooh,
how wrong you were.
Speaker 1: When reality TV shows are allowed to do like breach
what used to be a secret like thing, it's over.
Speaker 2: And and and and and and that's what happened to
Geisha House.
Speaker 1: That's right, I remember Geisha House.
Speaker 2: That's what happened to Geisha.
Speaker 1: The thing was massive on Hollywood Boulevard. Everyone you couldn't
get in that place, and then suddenly you could, and
then you're like hey, you know, it's that imposter syndrome
where you're like, hey, I'm in the Geisha House. I'm like,
why would they let someone like me in here? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's because uh, Wilfred val Do Rama is no
longer fame.
Speaker 1: He wasn't a partner in Ashton Coocher anymore.
Speaker 2: Yo Mama is no longer a hit show on MTV too, right,
that was an odd show. That was an odd show.
But let's get into this show, which is also an
odd show. We get to the Shape Shop studio.
Speaker 1: Oh no, well, we bounce around usual arrangement. Shannon picks
up Sophie at the airport, and then we like, yeah.
Speaker 2: We drunk or not, you know, And let's just be honest.
Should Shannon ba door be behind the car or the
wheel of any car?
Speaker 1: Let's ask someone, you know, I speak dog.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I went to school for this for like three weeks. Hey,
you don't have to speak dog to know that's a
resounding now.
Speaker 1: Exactly. You can hear it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the longing, the helplessness.
Speaker 1: Tell us Archie. Yeah he said no fucking way.
Speaker 2: Yeah what else did he say?
Speaker 1: Uh? Well, later in the episode, when Sophie and Shannon
sit down, he's like, can I can I come live
with you?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've always chancied myself a New
York kind of guy. All right, So let's get to
the Shape Shop studio. Pick a body roller, full body
lymphatic drainage massage. This is Orange County and everyone is
obsessed with wellness activity. Yeah again, so this is a
place that has giant foam rollers with red lights that
shoot up into your vaginal crevice. Emily wants to replace
her husband Shane with this giant pillar.
Speaker 1: I want to talk about this, all right. So these
ladies are resting their coochies on gigantic vibrators and that's
when Emily.
Speaker 2: Although I mean you and I are not, you know,
well versed in vibration technology, I think that there are
very nuanced patterns. You know, this feels very blunt force.
This feels like you're trying to break into You've got
past the moat and now you're trying to get inside
it slaughter everyone. You know, It's just there's a medieval
weapon of sor it's not very delicate.
Speaker 1: Well, the ladies seem to be happening, having a good
time on anyway, and not so many words. Emily basically
says that Shane is an annoying, disgusting pig, and uh,
I'm putting them on divorce watch. I see it coming
in twenty twenty seven.
Speaker 2: I wonder her to here. First, I wonder if they're
and sorry if this is crass, but like I wonder
if the employees there have to kind of interface with
people who were like I came, is that?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 2: Is that? Yeah? That's completely normal. Normal happens all the time.
Speaker 1: Fine, that's what we have mops for now. I have
a few things to say about the Shape Shop. First off,
the second it comes on the TV, I'm sitting next
to my lovely wife, Sharizi. She goes, oh, I've been there.
I'm like, of course you have, because it's the new
fucking newest dumb wellness trend that will last for three years.
And there you're calling your wife basic. No, I'm not.
People females, specifically females, they get excited about this new trend.
But here's what's going to happen to the Shape Shop
or any of the affiliate locations that it has. In
three years, their lease will be taken over by a
men Cheese. And let me tell you why.
Speaker 2: Oh for sure, men Cheese never go out of business.
Speaker 1: Now, that's right one. And why Dylan, Because it's something
that people love. Ye who doesn't love ice cream and
gummy bears with cookie dough balls right right there forever?
Speaker 2: And I don't actually ever like that period, full stop
ever like that, you know when you said I don't
like that kind of candy I don't ever mix. Who
are these lunatics that are putting Mochi and heath bar
on top of one thing? Who are these lunatics that
are having sour gummy worms and chocolate chips? Someone, it's
like six year olds, Yeah, six year olds. Yeah, I'll
do a gummy bear, but it's going to be all gummy.
Speaker 1: Oh that's right.
Speaker 2: You know what, my you know what, my favorite you
know this is microregional lore with with Tillan and Pat.
Do you remember Studio City Yogurt mm hmm Laurel Canyon
That was like a yogurt chop that was like, we're
not a franchise. We have disgruntled employees that have been
here for a while.
Speaker 1: They're hateful yogurt shop. Also, if you remember the other
little hiccup, they only took cash. Whose sons of bitches?
Speaker 2: Well it's a cash and I always got grasshopper mint
with gummy bears. Wow, that was a clash of flavors
that somehow worked. But you mentioned that, you mentioned that
Emily wanted to get what else did you mention?
Speaker 1: Divorce? Shane? They're on divorce? Was Shane, I've called every
divorce in housewives history since I've been doing a podcast,
every single one you were you.
Speaker 2: You said that that females get roped into fads.
Speaker 1: Well everyone does. I'm saying these retreat type of like uh,
physical could help you out. Like dudes do steroids.
Speaker 2: Okay, well dudes, dudes do this thing where they go,
oh fuck, there's an everybody's used in this new putter.
It's like, I gotta get this putter. It's like five
hundred and fifty bucks. But it's to help you know.
I'm not talking about myself, of course, I'm talking about
the proverbial man.
Speaker 1: Okay. By the way, I felt bad for the staff
at the Shape Shop because it's worth mentioning that Tamer
dressed like a fifteen year old here. She looked absolutely ridiculous.
I think she rated Daria's closet before she filmed. Yeah.
I get you want to still be trendy and whatnot,
but at some point you look absolutely ridiculous.
Speaker 2: I remember when we tried to force a playd between
Daria and the gossipy one from Katie's loins, that's right,
and Daria was like, I'm not into this. I'm not
into this mess, you know. But I actually think Kylie
was the one that gave her the cold shoulder, because
Kylie's a little apple doesn't fall far from that that far.
According to Newton, Shannon, Laser Botox, and Bush, she's not
touching below the neck before she's found love, which is fine.
But Archie probably has some thoughts.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I'm sure he does. But before we get
to that, Patty has a joke here, Shanon Katy they
meet up. Shannon updates us on her car cosmatic regiment.
These days, all the work is being done above the neck,
and her coats looks like Rapunzel's hair. Yeah, and all
children can use her pubes as a rope as a
just too crass, all right, but pubes are trending.
Speaker 2: Somebody said, bushes back. The others what what are you
talking about? Bush's back.
Speaker 1: Bushes back. Yeah, got for the better part of the
last two decades, everybody's fully shaved, and now everyone's fully
shaved yep, for the most part.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Bush's back.
Speaker 1: Bushes back. Wow.
Speaker 2: I think Well, Archie is like, you know, listen, I
can take you driving me headfirst into a condominium, but
let's you know, let's clean up down there. Okay, I
mean freaking children could climb a freaking whatever. You said,
that's right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, well, oh, I was one note
on how much the Golden Door sucks. All the ladies
are cased in those foam socks, and they just Shannon Katie.
They have that unlikely union, and they basically all hint
at that the Golden Door has really gone downhill? Are
the gold Yeah, the Golden.
Speaker 2: No, it's disgusting. But Katie and Shannon are talking, and
Katie goes, listen, I'm very remorseful for hiring, you know,
various different online assassins to take down the monsters on
this cast. But I think I have an idea hot pot.
It's gonna take care of everything. We're gonna do a
hot pot.
Speaker 1: A hot pot. So Katie also makes the case that
she doesn't fight back when the girls attack her because
she's not calculated. Yeah, especially when she's calling former employees
or of castmates. She has a vendetta against and getting
that nanny to talk shit on that podcast. But other
than that, she definitely is not not calculated.
Speaker 2: Well, somebody who is very calculated is Tam Judge, who
I think the women on this show are. They're probably
the most awful across the franchises.
Speaker 1: Right, there's some contenders there, man, Yeah, we just did
a recap of Miami. There's some horrible people.
Speaker 2: That Oh how could we not pitch it? It's a
patrion dot Com slash another podcast new Oh great, yeah, yeah,
exclusively there we're doing Miami. Tamra always wears me down
by the end of the season, Right, I'm kind of
in awe of how disgusting she is, And then by
the end of the season, I am just confused and
saddened by how someone could put this much mal intent
and energy into what she puts it into. You know,
it's really I mean, she is a bag of vomit.
So anyway, she has some tea about what Katie did
to Shannon.
Speaker 1: Couple things here, and I love this. She calls Katie
a silent assassin. It's worth mentioning. I believe all assassins
are pretty quiet by nature.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine a loud assassin he I'm here to
kill you. You might want to find a safe space
or call the authorities because I plan on wrapping a
wire around your neck. Hello. Yeah, yeah, anyway, dumb joke.
Katie tells you.
Speaker 2: Know, it's not a dumb joke. I mean, imagine, you know,
any of the various hits they were trying to pull
off on The Godfather, you know, I imagine if they
didn't have the I mean, let's let's let's go to
the restaurant with the cop and uh.
Speaker 1: That was a great scene.
Speaker 2: And then what was that guy's name? I am that.
Speaker 1: Cop almost killed his dad and the other guy sitting
next to him put out the hit on it. Why
would you not think that Michael Corleone was going to
come in there and trying to find a fucking way
to kill you.
Speaker 2: Well, so you imagine if Michael was like, listen, I
gotta say, I'm I'm so really upset about this whole thing.
In fact, I've placed a gun, not me, but one
of my associates in the bathroom, and I plan on
going to grab that thing and killing you both right here.
It would never have happened.
Speaker 1: No, you have to be quiet, because when he went
to the bathroom, I'd say, I think.
Speaker 2: We should get out of here or just shoot him
when he comes back. What was that? What was that fan?
I'm drawing a blank hair. I woke up at four
point thirty this morning. Had a beautiful morning with my daughter.
But I think I'm suffering the consequences. I'm I'm a
little fatigued right now.
Speaker 3: I got.
Speaker 1: Sleep deprivation actually has comedians think out of the box
a little bit more. We're funnier this way, trust me.
Speaker 2: Oh really, Well, we've talked about the dangers of being
out of the box, but go ahead.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, So Katie tells Shannon that she has regrets,
which I'm pretty sure she's that she did call that
nanny and get her a podcast. Oh it's lots, okay.
Shannon reminds her to just say sorry, and Katie will
at her get to know her party. Now, this is
where I might have had a might have missed a
little bit, but we'll see, all right. So meanwhile, tam
Rat has the scoop on that gallery choot in twenty
twenty four. Yeah, and this is kind of juicy. Katie
was talking to that husband of hers who she doesn't
really love. He's Mark, and anyway, she's talking to him,
and then she fucking sees, uh, she sees Shannon walking in.
Speaker 2: She she sees you know, a storm brewing.
Speaker 1: That's right, and so of course she just clicks off
her phone with her as you do.
Speaker 2: You you go, oh, I'm going to record this and
send it to my husband.
Speaker 1: Ah in my notes, Yeah, in.
Speaker 2: My notes, And I love how useless meat Ball is.
She's like the if there was like Amni narrator that
was Monty Python, like redundant for no reason, you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't believe she did that. You know, she's
got real legal things going on with that. It's like,
what are you doing here?
Speaker 1: I hate me Ball? All right? So Katie shared the
video with her husband of I think that Shannon might
have had a couple one too many xanax and then drinks, right, yeah,
of course.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and Long Islands.
Speaker 1: It had reminded me of last season of Real Housewives
of Salt Lake City, where Britney had made that same
era on that bus where she whipped out her friend.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's a big no, very callous. It's a
big no no because they're already recording, right, So Shannon's
fridge is disgusting and Sophie is excited.
Speaker 1: Yeah, in that fridge, I don't know, if you looked
close enough, Dyl, there was like several bottles of urine
in there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I saw yeah, and uh yeah, she's kissing
at bottles and keeping them cold, and that is a
sign of somebody who's going through something. So prayers to Shannon.
But Shannon is going on.
Speaker 1: Uh honestly, you know, I speak dogg and whatnot. That's
cry for help there. He's asking Sophie to steal mum's
car keys and throw them in the fucking ocean.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, So Shannon is going on or when
on a show called Love Hotel.
Speaker 1: I watched it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was horrible, and she met a man named Girl.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was never gonna work out, and it's.
Speaker 2: Never gonna work out. Now she's kissed four people, but
she is not a kissing bandit. And I would have
to say, I think you might be a kissing.
Speaker 1: Well, she never kissed anybody. She says, they all kissed her.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you might be a kissing bandit. But
Archie is let in through the front door. Now. I
don't know what kind of front yard situation they have
going on there, but it is a little odd for
a dog to be pawing at the front of a home.
It screams neglect to me, and I completely understand why
Archie is crying out to any god in the pantheon
that will have him. He wants to go to New York. Yeah,
he wants to go fronto New York. The nightlife, the pizza,
the nuts on the side of.
Speaker 1: The road, your life overall, the life overall.
Speaker 2: I mean, imagine how many pigeons he could gum down
out there, you know. All Right, So Shane and Emily,
she talks about her son. Now, we talked last week
about how listen, he's a picky eater. It doesn't mean
you have to send him through a gauntlet of specialist.
But today we found out that he is black lighting
individual French fries, which likely indicates he is autistic.
Speaker 1: Now hold on, Now, I as a even though I'm
a comedian, he's a kid, So I'm not going to
make jokes about the kid. Yeah, and what my you know,
him examining a French fry in a movie theater. But
I'm pretty sure he was staring at that French by
French fry because it was the only one laughed, you know,
because Emily ate all of them.
Speaker 2: Yea, yeah, yeah, yeah, she's an adult. Can I tell
you what I thought you were gonna say? That he
was examining the French fry because he thought that it
was his father. That's where I thought you were going
with that.
Speaker 1: Is that is that.
Speaker 4: Dad, greasy empty little exactly.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So Shane says that he really resents her whole,
you know, as a mother thing, and they are on
two completely different pages when it comes to this thing.
I do think that Shane is closer to being right
about this, But I completely understand Emily's panic. Let's not
let's not panic right. The bo is ripping in half
right now. The worst thing we can do is panic.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 2: We have to keep our breath steady because once we
hit that water, it's gonna go. So we need as
many reserves as I think.
Speaker 1: This is the dynamic of a couple, that this is
how you make good decisions. You kinda bounce, yeah, you
bounce back on. But if you don't think that she's
putting out the little teaser for what's to come in
their marriage, it's happening now. That's how it always starts.
You think we're not connected, we're not seeing eye to
eye anymore. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, Shane, get the best
force attorney in Orange County. Right now, Old Patty's telling
you to do that.
Speaker 2: And sh Shane, how did you not think that this
was going to happen? You've been waddling around the place,
drinking big gulps, leaving big gulps all over the place,
and not passing the bar, like come on. So Katie
heads over to the Bookie and Jen's house, and her
husband was hesitant in the past to get to know
him because he was a tanned butt block who was
addicted to mal rum and also crime. Evidently, so I
understand his hesitancy, but I was confused as to why
there was staff working a four person dinner, especially when
you don't have any money.
Speaker 1: Well, that's what you do when you don't have any money.
You try and make other people think that you have
money so that you can get investors.
Speaker 2: Who do you think is a more disastrous car crash
butt plug and Jen or Shane and Emily, Because I mean,
there is no way that Jen and this guy are no.
Speaker 1: Zero He's got Next season, the storyline will be that
he is bankrupt. Oh yeah, and so she'll be homeless again.
Speaker 2: Yep, that's what happens. It's amazing that certain people are
just magnets and conduits of for horrible people.
Speaker 1: Well you can tell, all right. So one could argue
that Ryan's trying to barry the hatchet the bookie. He
walks in as Matt sitting there, and he goes to
tequila tacos and good friends. Excuse me, that guy over
there didn't want anything to fucking do with you last
time you guys saw each other.
Speaker 2: He hates you. He actually doesn't want.
Speaker 1: To be He thinks you're fucking sketchy.
Speaker 2: And I wouldn't want to be either, because, like imagine,
you know, when I see you, I'm really happy for
lots of reasons, but one of the things that I
took for granted is with you, I've never had to
think about possibly being deposed as a result of just
having a conversation with huh. Right, With Ryan, it's a
little bit different. Also, he's a little butt plug who's
addicted to Malibu.
Speaker 1: Um, I cannot it's gonna be the best storyline of
next season. Yeah that money only lasts a long or
well here we're downsizing to a condo. Yeah right, that's
the first step you sell the house.
Speaker 2: Yeh. And I love Jen, but when we get to
that point, we're going to be like I mean, what
are you doing? You have seventy two children, you know.
All Right, So it turns out that it's not just
Katie and Golfer who are going to be heading over.
We are reintroduced to Gretchen and Slade.
Speaker 1: And her filtered nose.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think that's discussed by heaven Bro and tam Rat.
I was odd to see.
Speaker 2: Heather slamming down on a substantive meal Habitburger. It was
bizarre to see her eat something with mayonnaise.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was. You know, the Debros, you know, I
hate their guts. Everything always seems like a move like
could that have been for Heather to Bro to squeak
out ten grand from Habit Burger? As never put anything
past those two.
Speaker 2: Habitburger sounds fantastic, by the way.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm not a fan, Okay, but I welcome
them as a sponsor if they ever wanted to come aboard. Okay,
all right, So a couple things here. The filtered photo.
I have a couple friends on Facebook that do this
where the photo is so blurry it makes you look
like it. You start to look like an avatar, you
look like a ghost or a ghost. Don't do that.
This is the rule.
Speaker 2: Don't do that if you're ugly, just don't post the pictures.
Speaker 1: You know that, that's right. You go like, I think
the person's like, well, I kind of look kind of
good in this, but there's just a couple of things
I don't like about it, and they.
Speaker 2: Start funneling with it, slippery slope big time. Before you
know it, the park bench behind you is going to
have some odd black hole kind of suck vacuum pattern
and people are gonna be.
Speaker 1: Like, oh, look at the photo and go maybe not
a winner, not my day today. Yeah, I don't care
if you're in Vegas vacationing, right, right, right, don't post it.
Speaker 2: Be present with the experience, right, It's not for anybody else.
So we are reintroduced, like I said, and we're gonna
have quite a bit of a feud between Gretchen and Tamra.
Oh that's kinds in which I'm very very excited about.
For those unfamiliar with Slade and Gretchen, can you give
a little background on their love And I know she
was banging Steve at Best Lake, but Slade and Gretchen
are a really really powerful couple.
Speaker 1: They've been together for a very long time, and as
she touches on later in the episode, a lot of
people had judged them as just being like something in
the Bang Buddies. That's right. Slade was on episode one
of Real Housewives of Orange County. He has worked his
way through most of that cast. Yes, forgive me. He
had a hot little Latina chick that was on season one.
He was also banging Vindy Vicki Gundlsson's secretary who married
a millionaire and then her son went off and murdered somebody. Yeah,
and so he's just made his way. He's always been
in that universe. So of course, when Gretchen was the
new hobby on the show, we all knew that he
would go for her, and and he got that girl.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Yeah, he's frosted enos sauced them all.
Speaker 1: He was where he made all his money was that
real estate bubble of two thousand and six and seven.
That's where he made all his money.
Speaker 2: And then he just hedges bets or something.
Speaker 1: He was doing all those fucking phony boloney mortgage loans
and then he was broke and that's when he meant Gretchen.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, well, it's good to see a redemption story
for such a lovely human being.
Speaker 1: The old guy that she was engaged to, that she
was cheating on with Steve at bass Lake, he bought
her a condo before he died.
Speaker 2: Oh really really yeah, that's nice.
Speaker 1: And sadly enough, I think they touch on it. His
son died of twenty two. That poor kid was sick
his entire life.
Speaker 2: Oh god, that's my biggest fear. All right, let's get
to Tamera an HD being a really disgusting and proving
that some people cannot be helped by electrolyte drinking therapists.
Tamar accuses Jen of wanting.
Speaker 1: To be like her single white female she used.
Speaker 2: To be fat, and she says, look look at this
picture and how disgusting and fet she is. And then
she says she actually went into a salon and said,
can I can you put Tamra's old tracks in my head?
Which can't be true? And Tamara, no one wants to.
Speaker 1: Be like you.
Speaker 2: You are. You are well on your way to being
something that you would find in Jumanji, just something really
scary and chasing.
Speaker 1: You know, tam Rat has really become true evil. Yeah,
and that's on display here when she showed exactly how
solas she is when she brought up that Grayson whose
Slade's son, that his funeral had to be paid for
with a GoFundMe because Slade sucks those things. You can
keep those close to the vest. You don't need to
put that kind of stuff out.
Speaker 2: Now. She's a fucking disgusting human being. So let's get
to hot Pot. Emily heads over first. This is very awkward.
She tells her husband that she'd rather have a hot
pocket than hot pot, and I would say, right, you are.
You are not ready for this kind of spice. It
is going to wreck havoc on your butthole. Okay, that's
what hot pi.
Speaker 1: So this is that part of the episode I missed,
So you need to take care of this.
Speaker 2: All right. Well, the Lord we're heading over there, and Gretchen,
you know, Gretchen is being asked by Jen like, are
you prepared for the kind of tension and animosity that
you're about to bear down and witness and be a
part of and victim of? And she says, you know,
my favorite Bible verse because all of these women are
oh God fearing, Wow, she is. My favorite Bible verse
is the Lord will fight for you. You need only
be still.
Speaker 1: Cool.
Speaker 2: That is really really cool. It's also not a lord
that I want any part of, because I really don't
want a lord who sees these bitches squabbling and goes,
you know what, I've got a clock in here. I
want a lord who's a little bit more focused on
the bigger picture. Sure, but uh, you know, I think
that these are you know, little things that we convince
ourselves of, you know what I'm talking about. I mean,
imagine I think the Lord would step in on this
hot pot feud he's working on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally
all right. So tam Reverse, Gretchen and also Heather is
drinking champagne at this I'm sure they have the champagne, yaps.
They probably have champagne because they're like, there are going
to be some snooty white women that come in here
and need champagne.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: Also, maybe people want to celebrate. I don't know, but
it's very odd to me that Heather has to drink
champagne everywhere she goes.
Speaker 1: One thing of note, and I noticed that as well,
is that tam Rat reminds us that Gretchen had reached
out to her a strange daughter Sydney. Yeah, would she
I wouldn't call it reaching out.
Speaker 2: No one would call it reaching out. Okay, she said,
you made contact with my daughter, and she said, I've
commented on a Facebook post of first. Still not a
great thing to do. But the way that Tamar is
trying to frame this is just dishonest and and roll.
Speaker 1: You know, here's the other odd part. They both say
that they haven't seen or talked to each other in
fourteen years. They live in Orange County. They absolutely must have.
Now Gretchen sits down and tam Rat in her exchange
niceties and Gretchen is clearly sees this as a warfare
tactic used by tam Rat right before she strikes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Now, Gretchen says, it's you know, she's looking for
the expression, and you know, the producer says the same
old dog and pony show, and she says, I knew
there was a bit involved, and I like Gretchen, She's
like an old drunk church you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: But before we get.
Speaker 2: To that, well, we'll wrap the episode with this because
the the Storm's badore clandestine taping thing gets brought up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, now, Bill, sorry, my apologies for this, but I
had to note on the rack straw in itself. Of
course this restaurant is the molested cousin of a Korean
barbecue restaurant. What the fuck is this? They've tricked you
into showing up to a place and now going to
reach for the own, your own food that you're going
to cook. Yeah, well it's a it's Chinese.
Speaker 2: Uh So it's a Chinese version of communal dining, and
you know, it's very, very popular and a beautiful and
rich colinary tradition. Uh it is a little, you know,
labor intensive. You do have to put your own stuff
in there, but it's fun, right, you know, It's like
if laser tag was soup. But anyways, we get to
this recording and Meatball brings up the fact that Katie
did this, and there's an accusation that Katie sent it
to Jugs. Katie says, I didn't send it to Jugs,
which probably means she did send it to drugs because
she's an evil agent of chaos who's bad at being
an evil agent of chaos, and says I did and
send it to Jugs. I sent it to my husband,
which is not a really great cover story, Like what
are you doing recording me without my knowledge? Ever? Period?
It's never a good thing to do. And same old
dog and Pony show. Shannon storms Badour gets up and
leaves and says, I can't have this. We talked about
it last season. The producers must have zip ties everywhere
Shannon Badoor goes. We cannot have her get up every time,
every single time. It's like, what are we doing here?
We want the guts, we want the glory, and so
do you get in the comments let us know what
you thought about the episode. We are are covering Miami
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help support us, donate a little and if you can
a little bit more. It starts kind words, We love
you very much. Of a great weekend. I'm doing Sago
by pat Aye.
Speaker 1: Later, dudes,