Speaker 1: Paul, I may have committed a hate crime this week.
Speaker 1: Again again, Yeah, an accidental hate crime. I I was
Speaker 1: at the office. My stomach was was grumbling, wasn't feeling great.
Speaker 2: I've been there, Yeah.
Speaker 1: A little rumble in the tom top and I.
Speaker 2: Was like, our stomach, Oh, oh.
Speaker 1: I need to I need to find a restroom. And
Speaker 1: I went to the ladies. And then I went into
Speaker 1: the ladies. But there's like six stalls in the ladies.
Speaker 1: It's like people are you know, people can come in
Speaker 1: and out. It's not a fully private situation. So I like,
Speaker 1: there's no there's no good way to there's no good
Speaker 1: way to say this. I destroyed the all gender bathroom,
Speaker 1: the gender neutral bathroom at my office. The gender neutral bathroom,
Speaker 1: which is one stall that's like just for like, you know,
Speaker 1: whatever whatever you feel your gender maybe, but let's get real.
Speaker 1: What we're all actually using this bathroom for. It has
Speaker 1: absolutely nothing to do with gender politics or gender or
Speaker 1: gender identity. It is about I need privacy. This is
Speaker 1: the only like one stall bathroom on this floor. We
Speaker 1: are all going to destroy the gender neutral bathroom. In fact,
Speaker 1: you know what, now that I say it out loud,
Speaker 1: I didn't commit the hate crime. My company committed a
Speaker 1: hate crime.
Speaker 2: Did you enter to find a bathroom thriving in pristine
Speaker 2: or or had someone already taken a knife to it
Speaker 2: that day?
Speaker 1: She'd been she'd been roaded hard, but not put away wet.
Speaker 1: Let's put it that way. Yet not yet, not yet,
Speaker 1: she they I should say they were road hard.
Speaker 2: The least you can do for the bathroom is a
Speaker 2: sign of the proper pronouns.
Speaker 1: That's true. That's fair, that's fair, that's fair. They did
Speaker 1: not deserve what I did to them. And I would
Speaker 1: like to apologize to all all non binary people out
Speaker 1: there for what I have done, for the crime I
Speaker 1: half committed in your in your space, in your safe space.
Speaker 2: Hey on, Paul in America, And this is that aged.
Speaker 1: Well, yesterday's pop culture.
Speaker 2: Today, and I'm ripping off my face mask to reveal
Speaker 2: that I'm actually Tom Cruise.
Speaker 1: Saha, No, no, that was last week.
Speaker 2: But we are still in spy movie May Yes.
Speaker 1: Right, so we're doing another spy.
Speaker 2: Movie, another spy movie. A movie, it is, without a doubt,
Speaker 2: a movie.
Speaker 1: We're doing a movie today?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Should we do some five star Apple podcast reviews? First?
Speaker 1: Sure?
Speaker 2: All right? Shall we read the first one.
Speaker 1: Sure thing?
Speaker 2: All right? This is from Kelsey NC Kelsey North Carolina
Speaker 2: perhaps or North California or non carbonated. Ha.
Speaker 1: I like that one, Yeah, Kelsey, non carbon noncarbonated.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they write hysterical. I recently discovered this podcast and
Speaker 2: have been working my way through the back catalog of episodes,
Speaker 2: falling more in love with these two fools, with each
Speaker 2: and every one. That's beautiful. I just finished the Aladdin
Speaker 2: episode and to hear Paul laugh slash cry at any
Speaker 2: Mitch of Iago stating that after the week he had,
Speaker 2: that stupid bird just brought him so much joy. He
Speaker 2: really did hysterical. Haven't we all been there, folks? And
Speaker 2: although Erica's laugh in general is reason enough to give
Speaker 2: this podcast to listen, you'll quickly discover there is so
Speaker 2: much more to love about these two and they're Shenanigans.
Speaker 2: Thanks for making me howl with laughter, especially when I
Speaker 2: have my earbuds in when I'm grocery shopping. I love
Speaker 2: people thinking I'm a lunatic. Keep up the great work.
Speaker 1: No notes, no notes on you, Kelsey.
Speaker 2: Yeah that this is an excellent thing I learned like
Speaker 2: in New York of like acting a little weird if
Speaker 2: you need a little space, yeah, yeah, Yeah.
Speaker 1: The problem is is we've really raised the bar in
Speaker 1: the city.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: You have to be like.
Speaker 2: Naked, waist down.
Speaker 1: Or covered in a substance that no one can identify. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and they're like, oh, no, that person, we don't know
Speaker 1: what that is.
Speaker 2: The only shore fire thing to do is to smell. Haha.
Speaker 2: That is the one true repellent. Yeah, because people immediately
Speaker 2: wonder a why be what and see where can they go?
Speaker 1: So we're glad we can be your repellent. Yes, your
Speaker 1: your grocery store repellent.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, Kelsey.
Speaker 1: Our second review comes from putting the fun in refunds.
Speaker 1: H Okay, I love this.
Speaker 2: I love this.
Speaker 1: There's a story there. It has nothing to do with
Speaker 1: our review. Yeah, it's just they signed up for Amazon
Speaker 1: or whatever just for that and it makes me so happy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's appropriate that we're reading it now. We're coming
Speaker 2: up on tax season in the real world.
Speaker 1: Hell yeah yeah. One of my favorite retrospective pods haven't
Speaker 1: missed an episode yet. You guys need to review Gus
Speaker 1: Van Sands to Die For, featuring Babyface, Joaquin Phoenix and
Speaker 1: Unhinged Noicole Kidman.
Speaker 2: True story. My mother requested to die four years ago
Speaker 2: and we still haven't done it.
Speaker 1: You know your mother contains multitudes, because I would not
Speaker 1: have expected that.
Speaker 2: She also has never seen it. My mom will like,
Speaker 2: hear a review of something, or like she'll be listening
Speaker 2: to an NPR radio show and they'll reference a movie
Speaker 2: and she'd be like, you guys should do that. It
Speaker 2: sounds like fun. And also that way, I don't have
Speaker 2: to watch it. You can watch it and tell me.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, okay, the multitudes are receding, they're coming back
Speaker 1: because that that track, like.
Speaker 2: An ebbing tide that all tracks.
Speaker 1: For a minute, I thought that like she was super
Speaker 1: into Gus vand Sant films.
Speaker 2: No, that's nice.
Speaker 1: It loves to die for.
Speaker 2: All right, Kelsey Noncarbonated putting the fun in refund. Thank
Speaker 2: you so much for these reviews. If you would like
Speaker 2: it the actual dope bag, you know what to do.
Speaker 2: Contact us say hey it's me, I want my dope bag.
Speaker 2: I'll send it off for you. Erica, what is the
Speaker 2: spy movie that we are undercovering today? Uncovering today, undercovering undercovery.
Speaker 1: Today's film is the nineteen eighty five spy comedy Spies
Speaker 1: Like Us.
Speaker 2: Yes, This was requested by Shannon Christy, Laurie, Michelle, Heather,
Speaker 2: Danielle Camille, Nicole Lavin, and some people whose names don't
Speaker 2: appear on their social media profiles. Some anonymous listeners m.
Speaker 1: Dan Ackroyd himself perhaps perhaps probably.
Speaker 2: Know he's a fan. A Spies Like Us was written
Speaker 2: by the aforementioned dan Ackroyd, Lol Gans and Babba Lou Mandel.
Speaker 2: It was directed by John Landis and stars dan Ackroyd,
Speaker 2: Chevy Chase, Steve Forrest, Donna Dixon, Bruce Davison, Bernie Casey,
Speaker 2: William Prince, and Tom Hatton.
Speaker 1: Spies Like Us was one of three Chevy Chase movies
Speaker 1: released in nineteen eighty five. People could not get enough
Speaker 1: of the Chase.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they were chasing the Chase. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Along with Fletch and European Vacation. It outgrossed. Oh, I'm
Speaker 1: reading this for the first time, and I'm shocked. It
Speaker 1: outgrossed both of those other films, but unlike them, never
Speaker 1: got a sequel. I've seen Fletch and I've seen European Vacation,
Speaker 1: and those to me seem like they were hits. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've shocked this outgrossed them.
Speaker 2: I did not know this movie existed. I knew Fletch existed,
Speaker 2: and I knew European Vacation existed. I haven't seen either one,
Speaker 2: but I knew they existed. Yeah, this one. This was
Speaker 2: our most requested movie this month. Yep. I was like,
Speaker 2: I've never even heard of this.
Speaker 1: This is a part of people's childhoods. I guess, So, okay, guys, listen,
Speaker 1: listen up. If this was a part of your childhood,
Speaker 1: if this is a beloved memory of your childhood, if
Speaker 1: you sat on your mother's knee while watching this movie.
Speaker 1: A little trigger warning anyway. We didn't love it. We
Speaker 1: didn't hate it.
Speaker 2: We didn't hate it.
Speaker 1: We're not my shit all over it. We're gonna shit
Speaker 1: all over it A little yeah, but we're not gonna
Speaker 1: shit all over it. I will say that, much like
Speaker 1: I did to that non gender bathroom.
Speaker 2: I will say that no one who has ever listened
Speaker 2: to an episode of this podcast where we discuss in
Speaker 2: eighties comedy could have thought that I would love this movie.
Speaker 1: Yeah, everyone had their butts clenched a little bit. What
Speaker 1: they're not expecting is for me to turn Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the problem.
Speaker 2: You're the double agent.
Speaker 1: I'm the double Yeah. Yeah, I'm the betrayal today. This
Speaker 1: is the betrayals coming on this side of the desk,
Speaker 1: and I apologize.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Erica Spies like Us as a thirty five percent
Speaker 2: critical rating on Rotten Tomatoes and a fifty six percent
Speaker 2: audience score.
Speaker 1: You know what that tracks both tracks. Thirty five percent
Speaker 1: critical reading, yes, because this movie is a hot mess
Speaker 1: does not make any kind of sense at all, But
Speaker 1: fifty six also tracks because look, it's look as a
Speaker 1: movie as a job that people had to go to
Speaker 1: work every day and tell a story that was cohesive.
Speaker 2: Huh.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say it succeeds.
Speaker 2: It doesn't hit it out of the park, no, no, no.
Speaker 1: But as a collection of jokes that people might enjoy, sure, yeah.
Speaker 2: Sure, it's a collection of SNL sketches kind of smashed together.
Speaker 1: None of them know how to end.
Speaker 2: None of them know how to end. Some of them,
Speaker 2: I will say this, some of them work ish some.
Speaker 1: Really good one liners in the movie.
Speaker 2: I that's what I like. I guess we should say.
Speaker 2: I've never seen this movie, and I don't think you'd
Speaker 2: ever seen it. I never seen it now, Yeah, I
Speaker 2: actually because you. You watched it first and you were
Speaker 2: like hoof, And I think that the fact that you
Speaker 2: went hoof, I went in with the proper expectations.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So while we're kind of like having fun about like
Speaker 2: we didn't like it. I didn't hate it. I really
Speaker 2: didn't like there were genuine moments where I laughed and
Speaker 2: it was mostly the wordplay. Yes, the physical stuff in
Speaker 2: this movie generally does not work for me so much.
Speaker 1: We've talked about this before. Comedy has just grown. Comedy
Speaker 1: has changed completely in the last forty years, and like
Speaker 1: what used to be funny is not funny anymore. And
Speaker 1: that's not how that has absolutely nothing to do with
Speaker 1: that aging well or or anything like that. It's simply
Speaker 1: the timing doesn't It's not the same the real estate
Speaker 1: that films used to have for physical comedy bits. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that went on and on and on the mc Mansions,
Speaker 1: we used to build around someone falling on the floor
Speaker 1: lasting it up. That no longer exists because now comedy
Speaker 1: is about I would say, absurdism is like the main
Speaker 1: thing that we're about now, Like right, like.
Speaker 2: That's it also just moves like like like you said,
Speaker 2: the real estate given to some of these bits that
Speaker 2: are mediocre at best, and I'm like, this is five minutes.
Speaker 1: It's gone on too long.
Speaker 2: Like like this might have been funny if it was
Speaker 2: for lack of a better term, louder, faster, funnier, like
Speaker 2: just go and get off it and move on to
Speaker 2: the next thing. Like it. It was never particularly funny
Speaker 2: to me, But I actually think it genuinely objectively stopped
Speaker 2: being funny like a while ago. Yeah, going on.
Speaker 1: I did laugh at certain parts. I chucked it in
Speaker 1: certain parts, but like, I don't think it hit me
Speaker 1: the way like, yeah, it probably hit other people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, and I think you kind of prepping me
Speaker 2: that you didn't love it. I didn't. Like I remember
Speaker 2: when I watched Caddyshack and I was like, I don't
Speaker 2: I don't even understand where people are laughing, Like I
Speaker 2: don't get it at all. And and you got it,
Speaker 2: like you enjoyed it much more than I did.
Speaker 1: You hand me a Rodney Dangerfield bit and going with
Speaker 1: you all the way, all the way.
Speaker 2: And this one I think going in being like okay,
Speaker 2: so I know what I'm getting and and so I
Speaker 2: I think pound for pound, I probably enjoyed it more
Speaker 2: than I enjoyed caddy Shack. I don't know that I
Speaker 2: would say it necessarily a better movie, and maybe watching
Speaker 2: them both back to back, I would say, oh no,
Speaker 2: I cattish like a superior film or whatever. But like
Speaker 2: I had a better experience watching this one, perhaps simply
Speaker 2: because my expectations were at the proper place.
Speaker 1: That's true, because Caddyshack is so iconic. You went in
Speaker 1: being like, well, everyone loves this movie.
Speaker 2: Right, maybe own age. Well, but there's some of these
Speaker 2: jokes are gonna hit yeah, yeah, And this one I
Speaker 2: went in and be like, it might be it might
Speaker 2: be an oh for two hundred on these jokes, I
Speaker 2: don't I don't know. Yeah, And it wasn't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so yeah, neither of us had ever seen it before.
Speaker 1: This really wasn't even on my radar. And the movie
Speaker 1: that I'm like, oh, I you know, I never got
Speaker 1: to see that movie. I should see it. I heard
Speaker 1: about it before I knew it existed. There's also something
Speaker 1: this is so dumb, but like the poster for the
Speaker 1: movie is like the two of them in like snowsuits
Speaker 1: climbing a mountain, yeah, like in the snow, And I
Speaker 1: was I don't know that just didn't appeal. That just
Speaker 1: looked onerous and tiring.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it was odd because it makes sense in
Speaker 2: the movie kind I mean, as much as anything makes
Speaker 2: sense of this movie. Why they're in that outfit? Yeah,
Speaker 2: because they're in Russia. But like, it's it's a little
Speaker 2: bit incongruous with the title Spies Like Us maybe because
Speaker 2: you're like, what are they doing? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Are they mountain climbing? Yeah? But uh yeah, Erica.
Speaker 2: The tagline for Spies Like Us was with spies like these,
Speaker 2: who needs enemies?
Speaker 1: Okay, that's cute.
Speaker 2: That's cute.
Speaker 1: That's what I like that. Yeah, I'm okay with that.
Speaker 2: You know, I love a pithy witticism. The stuff that
Speaker 2: I liked in here were pithy witticisms for the most.
Speaker 1: Pt Yeah, and I like that. Do you want to
Speaker 1: read the iTunes synopsis?
Speaker 2: Sure? Chevy Chase and Dan Ackroyd star in this Cold
Speaker 2: War farce as two complete misfits who aspire to spy
Speaker 2: for the CIA. Much to their surprise, they are trained
Speaker 2: as operatives and sent to Central Asia, But the biggest
Speaker 2: secret of their covert operation is that they are expendable
Speaker 2: decoys for another team of agents sent on the real
Speaker 2: mission and no one expects them to survive.
Speaker 1: It's such a good premise. It is a good prices
Speaker 1: so very funny premise.
Speaker 2: Actual synopsis, Paul Oh actual synopsis for this is and
Speaker 2: I really I wanted to. I want to do a
Speaker 2: kind actual synopsis because I think we may be a
Speaker 2: little unkind moving forward. But the kind actual synopsis is
Speaker 2: this movie is not offensive in any of the ways
Speaker 2: you expect it to be offensive.
Speaker 1: I agree. Actually it's slightly progressive.
Speaker 2: It's slightly progressive. There there's there's a lightly yeah, slightly,
Speaker 2: let's not.
Speaker 1: Let's right standards.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but like they are constantly in foreign countries. They're
Speaker 2: in Pakistan for a stretch. There are multiple ethnicities that
Speaker 2: they encounter. There's not accent jokes, there's no black or
Speaker 2: brown face.
Speaker 1: Nope, they don't go for the low hanging fruits.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a couple of like jokes that I was like,
Speaker 2: I don't know about that, but like nothing truly nothing
Speaker 2: like oh boy, oh boy, you know, Like and then
Speaker 2: there's a moment at the end that, let me tell
Speaker 2: you of weirdly progressive stuff.
Speaker 1: The same thing when I said progressive, I was like, yeah.
Speaker 2: That was like so progressive that I was like, did
Speaker 2: I Did I have an aneurysmen? So yeah, there's there's
Speaker 2: stuff to recommend this year, So every every one, stick around.
Speaker 2: We're gonna play a couple of commercials. You hate commercials,
Speaker 2: you can get rid of them by just going to
Speaker 2: patreon dot com slash that HL sign up for any
Speaker 2: pay tire you add free episodes and more. If you're
Speaker 2: not gonna do that, that's okay. Stick around. We right
Speaker 2: back after these messages to take you through spies like US,
Speaker 2: and we're back.
Speaker 1: We open on an enormous missile being hauled through the
Speaker 1: forest on the back of a Soviet tank case. You
Speaker 1: weren't sure how nineteen eighty five this was going to be.
Speaker 2: It's gonna be very nice to eighty five.
Speaker 1: Pine trees being crushed underneath the treads of dis missile.
Speaker 1: We zoom into outer space and see a US satellite
Speaker 1: taking photos of the missile and then sending those photos
Speaker 1: back down to Washington, DC, where a young analyst takes
Speaker 1: them to the Pentagon. Right cool. We get antagonists Russia
Speaker 1: protagonist US.
Speaker 2: Yeah, or so think we don't know where it's gonna
Speaker 2: end up once.
Speaker 1: There, he gives them to Ruby played by Bruce Davidson
Speaker 1: and Keys played by William Prince. The actress whose names
Speaker 1: you will not know, but if you look at their faces,
Speaker 1: you'd go, oh that oh, that guy, oh and that guy.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I love these guys. It's those guys. They are of
Speaker 1: the Defense Intelligence Agency.
Speaker 2: Can I interrupt for one second?
Speaker 1: You may?
Speaker 2: Okay? So remember I was going with low, low expectations.
Speaker 2: This the first five minutes of this movie with this
Speaker 2: group of people works like Gangbusters for me. I got
Speaker 2: really excited. I was like, maybe Erica was high. Maybe
Speaker 2: this is all brilliant. Because the courier comes in and
Speaker 2: he goes, I have a security package from the NATSC
Speaker 2: printing room, and Bruce Davison, just playing an eighties dick
Speaker 2: to the hilts so Good, says, well, why don't you
Speaker 2: say it a little louder? We could open a window,
Speaker 2: you could shout it towards Moscow. And the courier says sorry,
Speaker 2: I and Bruce Davison says, it's not your fault, you're stupid.
Speaker 1: The courier, I don't know who this person is. No,
Speaker 1: it's a small bit part. They nailed it. Indeed, at
Speaker 1: one point the thing is attached to his wrist by
Speaker 1: like my handcuffs, because he's like it's like a top
Speaker 1: secret thing. But he can't be privy to what's in
Speaker 1: the briefcase. So they make him get in a closet.
Speaker 2: It's like hidden behind a bookcase.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that they can then look at the briefcase
Speaker 1: as his hand sticks out of the closet and this
Speaker 1: the like the physical comedy. This very tall actor does
Speaker 1: to crouch down and it's this You're absolutely right. I
Speaker 1: had very high expectations going into the scene. You know why,
Speaker 1: because it's giving shades of police squad that Leslie Nielsen
Speaker 1: show that then became the naked gun Like. It's giving
Speaker 1: that at first and you're like, oh okay, he like
Speaker 1: kind of fun, dry humor.
Speaker 2: It will continue to give that sometimes.
Speaker 1: But it gives other things that I perhaps did not
Speaker 1: order from a part of the menu I don't care for.
Speaker 2: I enjoy the burger, but I don't want the Coleslaw.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, the Colt Slaw's Chevy Chase Chevy Chaselaw is
Speaker 1: one hundred percent the Coleslaw.
Speaker 2: Correct.
Speaker 1: So they're joined by General Sline Niges played by Steve
Speaker 1: Forrest and Tom Hatton. Two more of those guys. Yea
Speaker 1: handsomer versions. These are like the handsome those guys, Oh
Speaker 1: those guys.
Speaker 2: Steve Forrest is a is a Marlboro Man like wo one.
Speaker 1: Together, they need to deal with the Soviet missile. But
Speaker 1: the last team they sent in wound up dead. What
Speaker 1: shall they do? They decide to send in two teams,
Speaker 1: one for the actual mission and also a decoy team
Speaker 1: to draw the attention and if needed, take the fall
Speaker 1: when the Soviets find them while the real team does
Speaker 1: the mission.
Speaker 2: We cut to junior diplomat Emmett Fitzhume played by Cornelius.
Speaker 1: Chase uh huh, played by the Coleslaw.
Speaker 2: Yeah, played by the Coleslaw. He is lounging at his desk.
Speaker 2: He's watching an old musical featuring Ronald Reagan. And look
Speaker 2: that this is not the movie's fault at all, but
Speaker 2: fuck Ronald Reagan fucking all the way to the hell
Speaker 2: that he currently resides in and back.
Speaker 1: I hate him, I do too, but you know what,
Speaker 1: he did have a terrible voice.
Speaker 2: He doesn't have to. Actually, this is.
Speaker 1: That was like the one thing I thought of when
Speaker 1: I saw this. See because it's a musical and he
Speaker 1: know he sings one line yeah and not great. Don't
Speaker 1: get me wrong. He's not a good voice, but it's
Speaker 1: not terrible.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he can carry you. Tune. This movie is it's
Speaker 2: called She's Working her Way through College. Get this. It's
Speaker 2: from nineteen fifty two. It is about a burlesque dancer
Speaker 2: who's paying her own way through school because she wants
Speaker 2: to become a writer. Oh not bad for nineteen fifty two.
Speaker 2: That's a glorious sin of essay in his magazine, And
Speaker 2: like the whole thing works out that, like people try
Speaker 2: to tear her down for her past and she like
Speaker 2: rises above it.
Speaker 1: Excellent.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I read this because I don't know the movie,
Speaker 2: but I read the synopsis and I was like, for
Speaker 2: Ronald fucking Reagan, I would want.
Speaker 1: To watch this thing the main part or is he
Speaker 1: like the main part?
Speaker 2: I think he is not her love interest because he's
Speaker 2: also clearly older than she is. But he's like a
Speaker 2: professor that somehow gets involved. And I think he's a
Speaker 2: professor at college. Yeah, and then there's a love interest as.
Speaker 1: Well, gotcha?
Speaker 2: Gotcha?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you're right, because it would suck to have
Speaker 1: to watch a Ronald Reagan movie, but it does sound good.
Speaker 2: Particularly a musical. Get off my fucking.
Speaker 1: Block, Stay in your lane, Reagan.
Speaker 2: Yeah, why don't you go choke on a dick like
Speaker 2: your wife or actually, she didn't choke on dick's famously
Speaker 2: just took him right down, like like like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: that's like a hot dog eating cont.
Speaker 1: Forgot that was like a whole thing about her, right,
Speaker 1: because she was just.
Speaker 2: Like, yeah, she gave great head.
Speaker 1: Good for her.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I can't think of anything that I say else
Speaker 2: nasty say about the Reagans. I'll let it go now.
Speaker 2: So Emmett's deescimate is agitated. He's trying to talk to him,
Speaker 2: but he has these headphones on. Right. Irritated, em Ittt
Speaker 2: finally takes off his headphones and his descimate asks if
Speaker 2: he's not worried about the Foreign Service Board exam they
Speaker 2: have to take tomorrow. It's five hundred questions in two hours.
Speaker 2: That is that is more than four questions a minute.
Speaker 2: That's too many questions or not enough time. It's it's
Speaker 2: too much.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well maybe it's like great, like you don't have
Speaker 1: to get all five hundred, right, you have to just
Speaker 1: get like eighty percent of them correct, and like you
Speaker 1: can skip over the ones you absolutely can't answer. I
Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know how tests work. Yeah, in
Speaker 1: this universe, in this university, absolutely right, that's too many questions.
Speaker 2: It's too many. Emmett scoffs. He says, the questions are
Speaker 2: all common sense and multiple choice. Besides, he's a legacy
Speaker 2: higher his grandfather and father with both agents, He's got
Speaker 2: it made in the shade. I love Nepo babies in
Speaker 2: this plus, he says, I have an appointment with our
Speaker 2: supervisor later, and then we cut to him sleeping with
Speaker 2: their supervisor. Yeah, we should erect a monument to all
Speaker 2: of the gorgeous blonde women who had to pretend that
Speaker 2: Chevy Chase was physically attractive in the eighties.
Speaker 1: If so many women had to make up with him
Speaker 1: in this movie, that monument should be like, it should
Speaker 1: be like a pole that starts with a Goldie honcause
Speaker 1: she had to do it the most. Yeah, and then
Speaker 1: Beverly DeAngelo and then the rest of these women. But
Speaker 1: I will say, like the small hint of progressivism kind
Speaker 1: of comes into play here because oftentimes we see the
Speaker 1: trope of like the woman the hot woman, like sleeping
Speaker 1: her way to the top, and like, in this context,
Speaker 1: we just have to buy that Chevy Chase is hot, right, Like,
Speaker 1: even though we don't find him attractive, Like, we just
Speaker 1: have to buy that this movie thinks he's a very
Speaker 1: handsome man.
Speaker 2: He's so charismatic and charming and witty.
Speaker 1: Right, and he is sleeping his way to the top,
Speaker 1: And I kind of love that, Like it's the guy.
Speaker 1: It's the guy doing that this time, because he's like,
Speaker 1: I have appointment with our supervisor. And then they cut
Speaker 1: to him and this gorgeous woman and they're in bed,
Speaker 1: and he's like, and they clearly have just had very
Speaker 1: satisfying sex on both sides of the for both sides
Speaker 1: of the table. And then he goes, so, I have
Speaker 1: a question for you about the exam tomorrow, and she's like,
Speaker 1: how dare you use me to further your career? And
Speaker 1: she gets all she leaves in a huff. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: really liked that. I like the gender reversal.
Speaker 2: Of Okay, it didn't occur to me, but makes sense.
Speaker 1: So we cut to a basement office in the Pentagon
Speaker 1: where codebreaker Austin Millbarge perfect name, Good Name played by
Speaker 1: dan Ackroyd, who truly is like the comic spice of
Speaker 1: this movie. I love dan Akroyd. He is working on
Speaker 1: his assignments from his boss, who hates him. His boss
Speaker 1: really fucking hates him, and there's no reason for it.
Speaker 2: He appears to be an excellent employee, like top notch.
Speaker 1: Like quiet, you know, gets his work done, but it anyway,
Speaker 1: his boss appears and after some general mockery basically calling
Speaker 1: him an asshole for no reason, the boss mentions that
Speaker 1: the exam is coming up tomorrow, aren't you aren't you
Speaker 1: nervous about that exam you have to take tomorrow, that
Speaker 1: five hundred word like five hundred word, five hundred question exam.
Speaker 1: And Austin's like, what exam? What are you talking about?
Speaker 1: And the boss said, oh, I forgot to tell you.
Speaker 1: Here's a letter about you having to take this exam.
Speaker 1: It arrived two weeks ago. Anyway, here it is, And
Speaker 1: so Austin snaps at his boss wants him to fail,
Speaker 1: so that Austin has to keep stay in this basement,
Speaker 1: dank office space and do his work for him. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and he's like he gets up in a huff and
Speaker 1: he's like, I'm going home to study for this test.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna ace this test. Fuck you and the horse
Speaker 1: you rode in on, sir.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I get it. I get the setup of two opposites,
Speaker 2: but to set Chevy Chase up, the Cherry Chase character
Speaker 2: up as such a ne'er do well idiot, and to
Speaker 2: set the dan Ackroyd character up as such like a
Speaker 2: do well all the time good employee. Yeah, it strains
Speaker 2: some credulity that they would wind up like that. Dan
Speaker 2: Aykroyd would wind up doing the things he then does
Speaker 2: in the next scene, and like that they would wind
Speaker 2: up being great friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Like it's almost
Speaker 2: like it's too far apart. It doesn't really matter. I'm
Speaker 2: nitpicking an eighties comedy.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't need this, because the audience would have
Speaker 1: already had the association.
Speaker 2: Of the two of them work being friends.
Speaker 1: Sure, yeah, working on Saturday Live together, and so like
Speaker 1: that work is sort of done in the moment by
Speaker 1: the culture. So we don't like, like, if Bill Hayter
Speaker 1: and Kristen Wigg showed up in a movie and like
Speaker 1: we're opposites who just immediately clicked, we'd be like, well, yeah,
Speaker 1: they have chemistry. Yeah, obviously the cultural context exactly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, this scene, oh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this scene. This is the scene I was talking
Speaker 1: about where I was like, this has gone on too long.
Speaker 2: This scene made me want to punch a stranger in
Speaker 2: the throat. You know, that's not fair to strangers. It
Speaker 2: made me want to punch every single person who had
Speaker 2: anything to do with its inception in the throat, up
Speaker 2: to and including dan Aykroyd. I'm sorry, up to.
Speaker 1: Including frank Oz in this scene.
Speaker 2: This scene was rough. Okay, we cut to the test.
Speaker 2: It's being proctored by frank Oz, so in a way,
Speaker 2: we could say it's being proctured by Ms Piggy, who
Speaker 2: would be a great test proctor. Fantastic, you know.
Speaker 1: You want to do it? Hmm, times up, hand in
Speaker 1: your papers, Pencils down, pencils down.
Speaker 2: Everyone. Emma and Austin are both late, and Emmett, who
Speaker 2: was wearing an eye patch and a deeply unconvincing fake
Speaker 2: broken arm, claims it was because he was at a
Speaker 2: will reading. I laughed at that. I'm like, that's random,
Speaker 2: that's pretty funny.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm with you.
Speaker 2: He tries to bribe frank Oz in full view and
Speaker 2: within earshot of the rest of the room. Okay, I'm
Speaker 2: still okay. Then we get into the actual taking of
Speaker 2: the test, and a law quote unquote comic sequence follows,
Speaker 2: with Emmett trying only the most obvious ways imaginable to cheat,
Speaker 2: from reading answers off the inside of his eyepatch to
Speaker 2: writing notes to Austin next to him and loudly coughing
Speaker 2: loudly coughing barely getting just kind of vocalizing at one
Speaker 2: point yeah, to get Austin to give him the answer
Speaker 2: to the test. Austin bewilderingly helps him cheat, which doesn't
Speaker 2: make any sense with the Austin and we met four
Speaker 2: seconds ago. Eventually he pretends to start freaking out from
Speaker 2: the stress, so we can just grab other students' papers
Speaker 2: and look at them. M m. None of this works.
Speaker 1: I would say ten percent of it also look like
Speaker 1: it's not fair. But like, I don't find chevy Chase
Speaker 1: that funny. Like I don't think he's as good at
Speaker 1: this as everyone thinks he is. Because if Steve Martin
Speaker 1: were in the scene, or if Martin Short were doing
Speaker 1: the scene, I would find it infinitely funnier. Martin Short
Speaker 1: would do it faster and Steve Martin would do it
Speaker 1: in a way that made it seem almost balletic.
Speaker 2: But they would also play it from a place of
Speaker 2: low status. They would play it from a place.
Speaker 1: Of yeah, yeah, I have.
Speaker 2: To somehow figure out a way to pass this test.
Speaker 2: Chevy Chase is playing it from a place of I
Speaker 2: am owed everyone telling me what the answers to this
Speaker 2: test are. Yeah, that's true, and like it's extremely off putting.
Speaker 1: That is very true. I didn't think about that. You're right.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's why I just because technically he's not doing
Speaker 1: anything wrong. The pratfalls are prodding, the eye patches, eye
Speaker 1: patching again, I'm like, why don't I find this that funny?
Speaker 2: Frank Oz clocks this almost as fast as we the
Speaker 2: audience clock it, and rather than making him stop, he
Speaker 2: just activates the cameras to start filming all of these shenanigans.
Speaker 1: We cut to Ruby Keys Sline and me, do we.
Speaker 2: Need like a nickname? We need a nickname for these
Speaker 2: four uh nightmare blunt rotation Jesus. No, Actually, I would
Speaker 2: actually rather get high with any of these four characters,
Speaker 2: and I would would emmit, yeah, because you know, if
Speaker 2: they got high they would start spilling state secrets. This
Speaker 2: is not a secure ha b.
Speaker 1: The lame Beatles, the lame Beatles, well them the lame Beatles,
Speaker 1: or the the.
Speaker 2: Four horsemen of the four Horsemen.
Speaker 1: Of governmental incompetence.
Speaker 2: There you go, that's it, the four horsemen of governmental incompetence.
Speaker 1: So they're going through the options for the decoy team
Speaker 1: and they realize that Emmett and Austin are actually perfect
Speaker 1: for it since they are, in the words of Sline,
Speaker 1: a couple of absolutely self involved bullshit artists who got
Speaker 1: caught cheating on a departmental exam. Although not fair to Austin.
Speaker 2: Here, that's that's the weird thing, Like if they Austin
Speaker 2: wasn't cheating. He helped him cheat, but he himself was
Speaker 2: not cheating. And I don't look as someone who often
Speaker 2: had people wanting to cheat on him off of hrags
Speaker 2: and didn't didn't appreciate it, brag. There is no part
Speaker 2: of Austin who would be like, yeah, I'll give you
Speaker 2: the answer. Fuck off.
Speaker 1: Well I was cool in high school, so I did
Speaker 1: help people cheat and no, no, no, I'm kidding. I
Speaker 1: wasn't cool enough. At one point later in the scene,
Speaker 1: we kind of glossed over it. But like, the scene
Speaker 1: goes on for ten minutes, the cheating scene, and Austin
Speaker 1: does help him more than like just giving him an answer.
Speaker 1: He like he starts like throwing other people's papers at
Speaker 1: him and stuff. I get you. It doesn't quite make
Speaker 1: sense as to why, but for some reason these two
Speaker 1: have bonded. We cut to Austin and Emmett getting their
Speaker 1: quote unquote promotion and they're like, wait a minute, Austin, really,
Speaker 1: who's who's not dumb?
Speaker 2: Dumb?
Speaker 1: It's like, we didn't pass the examine. In fact, we
Speaker 1: got caught cheating, so why are you making a spies?
Speaker 1: And Ruby and Keys are like, listen, we're not. We're
Speaker 1: not like trying to find boy scouts out here trying
Speaker 1: to find hardened spies. And we liked your teamwork during
Speaker 1: the cheating like not you picked up you, yes, and
Speaker 1: him so hard.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we love that that.
Speaker 1: We've made you a part, an integral part of the
Speaker 1: US government.
Speaker 2: They are part of the improv troupe in the in
Speaker 2: the in the Defense and tel Agencies improv troop.
Speaker 1: Wouldn't imagine a Pentagon improv troop, Like there's like a
Speaker 1: board at the at the Pentagon, like a bulletin board
Speaker 1: that's like, you know, like you know, kittens for sale
Speaker 1: or whatever. And then next to someone's like join my
Speaker 1: improv group the laft Con five if you will, Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you will. That would be the perfect name for
Speaker 1: a Pentagon based improv troop.
Speaker 2: You know, honestly, I would go to at least one show.
Speaker 2: I would want to know I.
Speaker 1: Would, because you know what you could do is when
Speaker 1: they're like, call out something you want to hear, and
Speaker 1: you're like, departmental secrets. Yeah, just to see if one
Speaker 1: of them does it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I heard departmental secrets. Apartmental secrets.
Speaker 1: They're like they're like, JFK was an inside job. Oh shit,
Speaker 1: I wasn't supposed to tell everyone that. So they are
Speaker 1: sent off to training.
Speaker 2: Yep, sending them to training. Erica in this case involves
Speaker 2: being tossed out of a plane with no notice, parachuting
Speaker 2: into a forest, and being surrounded by n ninjas. Ninjas.
Speaker 1: This was really surprising. I wasn't expecting ninja.
Speaker 2: It's really weird.
Speaker 1: It's so like I didn't hate it because it was
Speaker 1: so weird that I was like, I was into it.
Speaker 2: Yep, but I'm like hot, I will say this is
Speaker 2: because I'm I'm almost positive these are not Asian men
Speaker 2: under these under these ninja garbs.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, which is fine. I'm not offended by that
Speaker 1: because it's not like they're the idea. Isn't that they're
Speaker 1: being like thrown into Japan. They're roughly like five hundred
Speaker 1: miles away at some training facility in the United States,
Speaker 1: and these are other soldiers who are like American soldiers
Speaker 1: who are training them in case they have to fight ninjas.
Speaker 2: Yes, but also I thought some of the vocalizing was approaching,
Speaker 2: perhaps not completely kosher. Men playing ninjas were doing but minor, minor,
Speaker 2: like it's so odd, it's.
Speaker 1: Such a choice, such a choice was made to do this.
Speaker 2: I did enjoy some more of the wordplaying. The scene
Speaker 2: when they're surrounded by ninjas, Austin looks to Emmett and
Speaker 2: he's like, you're the diplomat, diplomat something here, and he
Speaker 2: first he pulls out a picture. He says, this is
Speaker 2: my sister. You can all have her, which is funny
Speaker 2: color but it's funny. Yeah. Then Austin tries to take
Speaker 2: over and he gets like a stick and He's like,
Speaker 2: come on, let's fight, and chevy Chase says, you hear
Speaker 2: that he's threatening you. Let's get them, And Austin says,
Speaker 2: show some balls, and chevy Chase says, I think it's
Speaker 2: too late to try to impress them. I left.
Speaker 1: That's funny.
Speaker 2: That's funny. That's funny. In any case, if it wasn't
Speaker 2: apparent from those two stories, they're utterly out of their depth. Yeah,
Speaker 2: Colonel Rambis played by Bernie Casey, appears to announce that
Speaker 2: he is in charge now. To impress them, he beats
Speaker 2: up all of the ninjas, who are his own men.
Speaker 2: From what I can tell, so I really don't see
Speaker 2: how this helps morale around camp.
Speaker 1: This is all fake though, right, Like here's where I'm like,
Speaker 1: And by the way, I didn't think this while I
Speaker 1: was watching the movie, but I am thinking this now.
Speaker 1: Is that like, and I might be giving it too
Speaker 1: much credit. This is all a fake quote unquote training
Speaker 1: exercises because actually the government has no actual need to
Speaker 1: train these guys. If they're just gonna drop them into
Speaker 1: the middle of nowhere to be decoys, they're putting them
Speaker 1: through a training exercise. It's not a real thing. Just
Speaker 1: to fuck with them and to like make them think
Speaker 1: they're doing a training exercise.
Speaker 2: That's possible. I would say that.
Speaker 1: Love the movie too. Actually, like back me up on
Speaker 1: that never says that because they're not with other soldiers,
Speaker 1: these two are being trained alone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's fair. I am then concerned with the amount
Speaker 2: of money that's being devoted to the fake training.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't care about that.
Speaker 2: We are destroying things that that our tax dollars paid
Speaker 2: for it.
Speaker 1: It's our parents' tax dollars. It's fine, it's fine.
Speaker 2: I don't hate that that theory at all.
Speaker 1: Because it also makes more sort of sense.
Speaker 2: Or what is about to happen exactly. Yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 2: wish they had lampshaded that because I think I then
Speaker 2: may have found some of what proceeds a little funnier.
Speaker 2: I didn't find it not funny. I found it kind
Speaker 2: of confusing. That's it's what's going on.
Speaker 1: It's confusing, and they I think, I actually think I'm right,
Speaker 1: and this is what is happening. What's happening is is
Speaker 1: that the government's putting them through a fake training process
Speaker 1: that's like increasingly stupid. But no one who movie actually
Speaker 1: said anything. Yeah, about that, So we get a training montage.
Speaker 1: Austin and Emmett see an obstacle course complete with random explosions.
Speaker 1: They're dumped into a man made bog approximately the size
Speaker 1: of a grave, and then told to go underwater like
Speaker 1: under this, like it's not water, it's like sludge under
Speaker 1: the sludge, while other soldiers take machine guns and fire
Speaker 1: into the swamp around them.
Speaker 2: The more you talk about, the more I'm sure you're right.
Speaker 2: That makes sense.
Speaker 1: They're just fucking with them for their own amusement. Basically, yeah,
Speaker 1: we're too nice.
Speaker 2: We didn't think of we didn't think of sending two
Speaker 2: people into die, but also fucking with them for a
Speaker 2: week first and putting them through any number of like
Speaker 2: difficult things.
Speaker 1: And you know what, maybe this is why Chevy Chase's
Speaker 1: character has to be so off putting at first, because
Speaker 1: you're like, yeah, let's do that to this guy that
Speaker 1: I am on board. They also have to test their
Speaker 1: ability to stay afloat at high speeds by dragging them
Speaker 1: behind a.
Speaker 2: Speed Now I'm laughing, you solved.
Speaker 1: It a Their ability to withstand high temperatures is tested
Speaker 1: with some special suits and a pair of flamethrowers.
Speaker 2: So there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're put into these like these fireproof suits and
Speaker 1: then they're like, all right, let's see how long you
Speaker 1: can stand there. And then they just hit them with
Speaker 1: flamethrowers while they cook. Their ability to withstand G Force
Speaker 1: is tested so Dan Akroyd and Chevy Chase can make
Speaker 1: funny faces. Yeah, they're put in a G force machine, right.
Speaker 2: They walk out and what they are holding the faces
Speaker 2: I'm presuming just with their own facial muscles.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's impressive, it's impressive. Yeah. Yeah, they're in the
Speaker 1: G Force machine. And then they come out with their
Speaker 1: faces still all like crazy from that. Yeah. Then they're
Speaker 1: loaded into a plane and dumped off the top of
Speaker 1: a building a quote unquote radical vertical impact simulation.
Speaker 2: That's not a simulation, sir, that's an actual radical vertical impact.
Speaker 2: They take a plane, they dump it off, and it
Speaker 2: nose dives into the ground. After all of this, Emma
Speaker 2: and Austin try to quit. They run up to the
Speaker 2: colonel and say, hey, you know what, thank you so much.
Speaker 2: We've decided we want to go home. Rambas tells them
Speaker 2: it would be a shame to have to kill them,
Speaker 2: and he leaves. So Austin realizes that they are now
Speaker 2: Ohio or obligated involuntary officers. Then Rhombus calls Emma and
Speaker 2: Austin into his office and tells them they're being deployed.
Speaker 2: He's not authorized to give them their mission, but they
Speaker 2: will be dropped in Pakistan.
Speaker 1: I did get nervous, and that's gonna lie when they're like,
Speaker 1: oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yeah, it's gonna happen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I wait, it's fine.
Speaker 2: It's fine, it's fine. Not up to today's standards, I
Speaker 2: don't think, but genuinely, like inoffensive.
Speaker 1: I do believe that everyone in the background of the
Speaker 1: scene and it is genuinely Asian of sort. Maybe not
Speaker 1: exactly Pakistani, but like it's not white people in brown face.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it could have been.
Speaker 1: Is exactly what I thought it was.
Speaker 2: I my asshole was the size of the head of
Speaker 2: a needle. Yeah, yes, oh my god. It wasn't are
Speaker 2: we going to get brown face? It was how much
Speaker 2: brown face are we going?
Speaker 1: How bad is it going to be? Is it going
Speaker 1: to be Rodney Gingerfield popping up in brown face pretending
Speaker 1: to be Pakistani? Because even my love for Rodney Dingerfield
Speaker 1: not with stands.
Speaker 2: Is this where Tracy Ellman got that idea for the character?
Speaker 2: Is she going to be here? Is it going to
Speaker 2: be Tracy Ullman?
Speaker 1: Is it going to be her?
Speaker 2: I want to bring up another line I thought was funny.
Speaker 2: When they're trying to quit Chevy Chase says, thanks to
Speaker 2: the bruises, and you can keep the stool samples, which
Speaker 2: was I left. That's funny.
Speaker 1: Cut to a plane and a large shipping crate being
Speaker 1: tossed out of it. You know, now that we're talking
Speaker 1: about it, it's much funny than the actual movie, Like
Speaker 1: the idea of the US government cares so little about
Speaker 1: these you know what I wonder?
Speaker 2: I wonder if it could have done something with a
Speaker 2: couple more fast cuts back to the four horsemen, the
Speaker 2: bureau deocratic incompetence and like them getting a question, oh
Speaker 2: how should we get them? I just stump in a
Speaker 2: crate and throw them out of there, to highlight the
Speaker 2: fact litterally give a shitnnon. Yeah, I think when I
Speaker 2: was watching it, obviously I knew this was not what
Speaker 2: they would do with normal spies, but it didn't process
Speaker 2: to me. I thought they were doing it to try
Speaker 2: to be funny and that's it. Yeah, they were trying
Speaker 2: to be a funny way to dump them out as
Speaker 2: opposed to be like, no, this is actually motivated by
Speaker 2: the insane plot of this film. Yeah, which I think
Speaker 2: would have connected more with me then, And maybe I'm
Speaker 2: an idiot for not realizing that by myself, but I
Speaker 2: didn't watching it.
Speaker 1: I mean I would say I did realize it, and
Speaker 1: it still was just like, Okay, that's funny.
Speaker 2: Well, okay, good, okay.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it didn't make me laugh out loud or anything.
Speaker 1: So they're parachuted down through this crate, floating down into Pakistan.
Speaker 1: They crash into a building and they draw the attention
Speaker 1: of all the locals there, because of course they do.
Speaker 1: The crate opens and reveals are too heroes. They're enjoying
Speaker 1: chips and beer, like like they're sitting in a living
Speaker 1: room watching watching the Big Game. The locals hold them
Speaker 1: at gunpoint, and Austin's like, well you again, you're the diplomat,
Speaker 1: You're the one who speaks multiple languages. Please help us
Speaker 1: in the situation. Emmett uses his translation book, looks up
Speaker 1: the exact phrasing of what he wants to say, and
Speaker 1: goes Okay, yes, m all right, if you let me free,
Speaker 1: you may keep my friend's head for polo. That made
Speaker 1: me laugh. Yeah, that really made me laugh, and.
Speaker 2: I got a little concerned because I was like, are
Speaker 2: we gonna act as if this is real? But all
Speaker 2: the Pakistani people laugh, Yeah, and they start to kind
Speaker 2: of like act as if like they're trying to measure
Speaker 2: his head to play.
Speaker 1: Polo, play polo, like, yeah.
Speaker 2: Bringing them in on the joke. I was worried they
Speaker 2: were going to treat it like, oh, that sounds like
Speaker 2: a good idea.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, which they don't do. So that was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: we're all in on this dumb situation. Yeah. Two men
Speaker 1: appear suddenly and like, okay, so this is again where
Speaker 1: the movie, like the visual jokes really land for me,
Speaker 1: like the we're're in this like sea of extras who
Speaker 1: look like people from Pakistan and they're dressed like locals.
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, these two dudes appear,
Speaker 1: Bob and Bud, tall, blonde wearing like wearing like pastel
Speaker 1: colors and.
Speaker 2: Like a sweater wrapped around their neck tied.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like they just came from the country club in
Speaker 1: Beverly Hills. So clearly distinguished from everyone else in the scene,
Speaker 1: and they're like quintessential Americans and I'm like, that's a
Speaker 1: funny joke. And they're like, oh, hi, we're your contacts
Speaker 1: here in Pakistan. Yeah, and they and Austin and Emmett
Speaker 1: go with them and they all head off in a
Speaker 1: jeep yep.
Speaker 2: They're driving through the desert and Austin notices that one
Speaker 2: of them is wearing a watch that is a Russian knockoff.
Speaker 2: So smart, so smart. Austin, I think, is actually pretty
Speaker 2: smart this entire movie Heat, which I did appreciate always.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: The only dumb thing he does is help emin on
Speaker 2: the tesk that that is genuinely the only like non
Speaker 2: supported character beat that I can think of. He gets
Speaker 2: them to stop. He says, you have to use the bathroom,
Speaker 2: and he's like, Emmett, why don't you come with me?
Speaker 2: And them it's like, I don't have to pine. He's like,
Speaker 2: are you sure, and he's like, yes, I'm a grown man.
Speaker 2: I don't have to pain. He's like, but I think
Speaker 2: you do. This goes on. I would say maybe half
Speaker 2: a beat too long, but this is about right.
Speaker 1: It's pretty funny. It's pretty funny because you get dan
Speaker 1: Ackroy doing that like machine gun fast talking thing where
Speaker 1: he's like he's like the human bladder can only hold
Speaker 1: so much, and like, I think I've seen you drink
Speaker 1: all day, and I think you really should be going
Speaker 1: to the bathroom now.
Speaker 2: So Emmett goes with him and they're walking away. He
Speaker 2: explains the situation. Now, this is this is the first
Speaker 2: example of it. There's an epidemic in this movie of
Speaker 2: the thing that I hate, which I talked about in
Speaker 2: the parent trap. When you have two characters walking on
Speaker 2: open field mm hmm, looking directly in front of them,
Speaker 2: and then suddenly they act as if they are surprised
Speaker 2: to see what is in front of them. It happens
Speaker 2: no fewer than three times in this movie. It's almost
Speaker 2: enough for me to think it's an intentional runner.
Speaker 1: It is an intentional runner. I that's the joke.
Speaker 2: But they don't. It's just it's just there. They don't
Speaker 2: do anything with it.
Speaker 1: That's well, because it's I'm gonna lie to you. This
Speaker 1: made me laugh.
Speaker 2: It makes me nuts.
Speaker 1: So these two are walking because it's it's stupid on purpose. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's why it's funny. They're walking away from the jeep
Speaker 1: with the two other dudes, and they're whispering to each other,
Speaker 1: like those two a Russian spies. How can you tell
Speaker 1: the wristwatch gave it away? What do we do? I
Speaker 1: don't know? And then they stop short. They look up
Speaker 1: and they go, oh no, and right in front of
Speaker 1: them are Bud and the other guy, Bob, right, the
Speaker 1: two Russian spies and like we didn't see them, Like,
Speaker 1: how did they get around? It's funny because the audience
Speaker 1: doesn't see them either, and we're encountering them at the
Speaker 1: same time as the characters are.
Speaker 2: I think if they didn't act surprised, it's something about it.
Speaker 2: I'm like, they're right there, like it's like the joke
Speaker 2: is for the audience. Yeah, so if it just like
Speaker 2: if they just just make it so they can actually
Speaker 2: be surprised, it makes me nuts. It bothers me.
Speaker 1: I know this. I'm gonna defend this joke, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: And nothing is funnier than when a joke is dissected
Speaker 1: so bad. It's here for this.
Speaker 2: This joke is the dead frog corpse in your ninth
Speaker 2: grade biology class. We are going to get into the intestine.
Speaker 1: We are going to poke their pancreas because it's funny
Speaker 1: because it's it's so unexpected and stupid. Also one continuous shot,
Speaker 1: so we don't know how.
Speaker 2: Those two like those two guys, like I get the
Speaker 2: joke of like us like then surprised to be there,
Speaker 2: like how did they get there? I get that, And
Speaker 2: that is a solid joke. It's for me. It is
Speaker 2: literally like the they have them like whispers, so they're
Speaker 2: literally not looking.
Speaker 1: I thought they were in my head they are, but
Speaker 1: I could be wrong.
Speaker 2: Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know, but like it's gonna
Speaker 2: happen two more times. This movie's gonna nome me every
Speaker 2: time anyway. So Bob and Bud have obviously realized that
Speaker 2: Emma and Austin have clocked them, so they stomp on
Speaker 2: Bud and Bob's feet. They take off their hats, they
Speaker 2: shove them on the Russian agents heads, and they run
Speaker 2: back to the jeep and they escape, and Bob and
Speaker 2: Bud start firing at them afterwards, but they escape.
Speaker 1: Yeah, excellent spycraft, everyone knows. Stomp the feet, put the
Speaker 1: hat on the head. Yes, that's the only way, frankly
Speaker 1: to defeat a foe.
Speaker 2: They push in on the Russian shooting the tire, which
Speaker 2: I really thought was going to be a problem.
Speaker 1: No problem.
Speaker 2: They also talk about like potentially running out of gas,
Speaker 2: not a thing, you don't have to worry about it.
Speaker 1: So many loose threads, things that I'm.
Speaker 2: Just like, well, why is the lining? I guess just
Speaker 2: to fill time, but just cut.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the movie's not short. The movie could could use
Speaker 1: twenty fewer minutes in it. Frankly so. Emmett is driving away,
Speaker 1: Austin is asleep in the passenger seat. He comes across.
Speaker 1: Emmett comes across a Pakistani man on a horse. He
Speaker 1: tries to talk to him to engage, and suddenly a
Speaker 1: whole squadron of men start riding over to the on
Speaker 1: the dune behind them. He wakes up Austin. Austin takes
Speaker 1: one look at them, sees like, I can't remember what
Speaker 1: it is if he sees like a crest on Someone's
Speaker 1: like if he's some reason to know, like on the
Speaker 1: way they're dressed. He's like, no, no, we don't have
Speaker 1: to worry this. These are Afghany freedom fighters, These are
Speaker 1: our allies. A little bit of nineteen eighty five history
Speaker 1: there google it Afghanistan and US and Russia a tangle
Speaker 1: web we have. They're like, no, no, no, they're Afghans.
Speaker 1: There are allies, and so they're like, we're Americans. Smash
Speaker 1: cut to Emmin and Austin being hung upside down at
Speaker 1: the rebel camp by their ankles.
Speaker 2: Yep, this made me laugh. This was funny.
Speaker 1: Anytime someone in a movie goes, I'm an American, and
Speaker 1: it's smash cuts to something terrible happening to them as
Speaker 1: a result of that. Funny, it's fucking funny.
Speaker 2: That's funny. Yep, yeah, agreed. So they're they're being watched
Speaker 2: by the They refer to this character as Khan. I'm
Speaker 2: not sure if that's his name or his title, but
Speaker 2: like the leader of the freedom fighters, and they're spotted
Speaker 2: luckily by doctor Jerry Hadley played by Charles McEwan, who
Speaker 2: is at the camp to provide medical support for the
Speaker 2: freedom fighters with his team. He assumes that Emma and
Speaker 2: Austin are a pair of surgeons that they've been expecting,
Speaker 2: and they do nothing to relieve him of this assumption.
Speaker 2: Fair enough, got a yes end. In this situation, you
Speaker 2: don't really know where you are.
Speaker 1: You can't really be like, no, we're spies.
Speaker 2: Yep. Hadley brings them into his tent to introduce them
Speaker 2: to his team. Most importantly, doctor Karen Boyer played by
Speaker 2: Donna Dixon aka Missus dan Ackroyd.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's weird because she does not hook up with
Speaker 1: dan Ackroyd in the movie. She hooks up with Chevy Chase.
Speaker 2: And yeah, that's.
Speaker 1: Just an interesting thing. Knowing that, like dan Ackroyd's, was
Speaker 1: part of the casting process.
Speaker 2: They came up during the seventies. Fair enough, you know
Speaker 2: what the they were a little looser with all that stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, who gives a shit?
Speaker 2: Who gives a shit?
Speaker 1: We've all been to key parties. Don't worry about it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Emmett, that's Chevy Chase is immediately very interested in
Speaker 2: doctor Boyer, and fair enough, this woman is stunning. Yeah,
Speaker 2: dan Ackroyd turns out pulled.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: The introductions lead to a joke where the only word
Speaker 2: sit on screen for twenty seconds is doctor.
Speaker 1: Erica, doctor, doctor, doctor, doctor.
Speaker 2: Did it work for you? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I was. I don't think I laughed out loud. My
Speaker 1: brain smiled. Does that make sense? Yeah, that moment when
Speaker 1: you like you recognize a joke as a joke, and
Speaker 1: you're like, okay.
Speaker 2: It feels like you're getting like pet in your brain.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, my brain had a little smile. I
Speaker 1: don't get made it all the way to my face.
Speaker 2: Gotcha.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I'm not to say it worked on me,
Speaker 1: but I didn't hate it.
Speaker 2: Okay, I hated it all right. So so everyone's introducing
Speaker 2: themselves by saying doctor Hadley tells them to get some rest,
Speaker 2: and everybody leaves the tent, which means, of course, everyone
Speaker 2: has to say goodbye by saying doctor again.
Speaker 1: Yeah, see that. Maybe the second time it worked better
Speaker 1: for me. Is it better for you the second time?
Speaker 2: No? Nope, sorry, sorry everyone, I am a wet blanket.
Speaker 1: Austin immediately says, okay, look, we've got to get the
Speaker 1: hell out of here, and it's like no, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 1: These are good doctors. We should hang out with them longer.
Speaker 1: And also one of them is smoking hot.
Speaker 2: Have you seen your wife on cue?
Speaker 1: She sticks her head back in and asks to talk
Speaker 1: with him alone. Emmett immediately throws Austin out. He's like,
Speaker 1: get he out, get out, ye. Doctor must consult with
Speaker 1: other doctor, and she reveals doctor Boyer reveals that she's
Speaker 1: a huge fan of his work because she remembers she
Speaker 1: thinks he's a famous doctor. So she's like, I really
Speaker 1: hope you'll be able to help with something. The rebel
Speaker 1: leader's brother needs an emergency appendectomy, so this is this
Speaker 1: is a very high ranking official. We need we need
Speaker 1: help with him. And then Emmett, needing to get out
Speaker 1: of this situation because he can't do surgery, says, Oh,
Speaker 1: I would love to love to, but I have nerve
Speaker 1: damage in my hand, which gives him the chance to
Speaker 1: feel her up.
Speaker 2: Basically, he really gives her boob a squeeze. Yeah, it
Speaker 2: looked uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: He's like, see, I can't feel anything. It's like squeezing
Speaker 1: her boob. Then he says, but you know what, Austin
Speaker 1: can be my hands during the surgery and I'll walk
Speaker 1: him through it. I'm like now even I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: what the fuck is this movie doing? Like he's volunteering
Speaker 1: to perform surgery on someone, like try to get out
Speaker 1: of it and then for some reason you can't or else. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's how you do this. Don't just like write the
Speaker 1: character agreeing to something that's insane.
Speaker 2: Did you have ever any interested in being a surgeon
Speaker 2: or a doctor or anything like that. Hard fast, yeah,
Speaker 2: hard past.
Speaker 1: Well, for a minute I thought I might want to
Speaker 1: be a veterinarian because I love animals. But then like,
Speaker 1: I just remember taking my own cat to the vet
Speaker 1: when we were when I was little, and the cat
Speaker 1: having such a negative reaction to the situation, and I
Speaker 1: was like, I can't live my life to the animals
Speaker 1: being angry at me all day, all day. Fair enough,
Speaker 1: that's heartbreaking.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to think of what situation have to be
Speaker 2: in for me to be like, Okay, we'll try. I
Speaker 2: will pretend to perform an appendectomy.
Speaker 1: I would do because I've seen so many of them
Speaker 1: on television and film. I would do a tricky hot No,
Speaker 1: I would do a makeshift.
Speaker 2: Discussed this.
Speaker 1: The minute you show even the smallest sign of issues
Speaker 1: in any part of your body, I'm giving you an emergency, Aerica.
Speaker 2: If you say the word blood clot I am going
Speaker 2: to end this podcast.
Speaker 1: Paul. Don't worry. I'm not going to talk about how
Speaker 1: it would suck the bloods out of your emergency drinking
Speaker 1: out of me and then spit it out. Don't worry.
Speaker 1: Not going to say it Paul, I'm not going to
Speaker 1: say it. There's no reason for you to have that
Speaker 1: reaction because I didn't mention sucking blot out of your
Speaker 1: body and into mine. Frankly, I think we're good enough
Speaker 1: friends for that.
Speaker 2: If you were dying and I had to give you
Speaker 2: an emergency tracha outo me, I'm so sorry you would die.
Speaker 1: I'm cutting you out of my will just in case.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put an addendum to my will. If I
Speaker 1: die in your care and I could have been saved,
Speaker 1: it's an emergency trachy outomy. Done done, We're done. You
Speaker 1: get nothing.
Speaker 2: I might be dead, but you are dead to me.
Speaker 1: You get none of my billions. So okay again, like
Speaker 1: the movie whatever, He's like, I can, We'll do the
Speaker 1: surgery because I like this lady and I don't know
Speaker 1: how to say no to a pretty face. And she
Speaker 1: kisses him and I genuinely went oh out loud at
Speaker 1: the this TV screen when I saw the movie, because
Speaker 1: I was like, why is she kissed? She met him
Speaker 1: a min ago? Yeah, like one minute ago, And I
Speaker 1: really cannot tell you enough. This actress is a full ten. Yeah, Like,
Speaker 1: who stop? You don't have to kiss him there's no
Speaker 1: reason for this there. It is sort of explained away
Speaker 1: a tiny bit later in the movie. But like, anyway,
Speaker 1: moving on, and she's like, good surgery is in an hour?
Speaker 2: Yep, she leaves. Austin comes in, Emmett tells him the plan.
Speaker 2: Austin's like WTF and then a golf ball flies to
Speaker 2: the tent, followed by Bob Hope.
Speaker 1: Okay, you know what, throw as many wacky cameos as
Speaker 1: you want at me in this movie.
Speaker 2: This is so this movie was based on like movies
Speaker 2: that Bob Hope did with Bing Crosby called the Road
Speaker 2: to Whatever movies, So that that's that's the source of
Speaker 2: this cameo. That's why it's here. And and like honestly
Speaker 2: it's fine. Like I wasn't annoyed at it. I was.
Speaker 2: It made me go to the to the Internet and
Speaker 2: be like, why is there a Bob Hope cameo in
Speaker 2: this movie? Because it doesn't. It doesn't play anymore. It didn't.
Speaker 2: This is not like a not aging well thing. It
Speaker 2: just didn't. It simply aged out of common knowledge.
Speaker 1: She was funny is I didn't associate this with like
Speaker 1: Bob Hope movies. I thought this cameo. Okay, like so
Speaker 1: sorry really quick. What happens is a golf ball like
Speaker 1: goes into the tent. Bob Hope shows up in full
Speaker 1: golf gear like he's been golfing through the desert and
Speaker 1: act and accidentally played through the camp that they're at.
Speaker 2: The entire desert's a sandtrack.
Speaker 1: And like exactly, and like the my association with Bob Hope,
Speaker 1: especially in the later years, he was like the USO guy.
Speaker 1: He could go to all the like war zones and
Speaker 1: plays like perform for soldiers, And honestly, I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: so I think the joke here is that Bob Hope
Speaker 1: is nearby, like performing for soldiers, and.
Speaker 2: You just you justified it in your head.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and he's also playing golf on the weekends for
Speaker 1: fun because he is Bob Hope. There are other celebrity
Speaker 1: cameos throughout the movie, but they're playing characters.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is just Bob Bob Hope as Bob Hope.
Speaker 2: All right. So we have another comic sequence. The two
Speaker 2: are like standing in front of this patient. The patient
Speaker 2: is knocked doubt for some reason, there's an audience like, look,
Speaker 2: I get we can't get like a sterile room or
Speaker 2: in the middle of the desert. But you don't need
Speaker 2: people looking at you in any case. They say, the
Speaker 2: first step is to shave him, and chevy Chase starts
Speaker 2: like trying to shave his face and then you know, oh,
Speaker 2: we have to put under anesthesia. One of the other
Speaker 2: doctors like, he's already under anesthesia. Right again, I'm sorry,
Speaker 2: none of this works for me. None of this plays
Speaker 2: in between each one, they have to duck down and
Speaker 2: they have to read in the book what's next. Yeah,
Speaker 2: like it's really torture.
Speaker 1: This isn't good. And this one, I'm gonna give you
Speaker 1: this one. This is not good because a it doesn't escalate.
Speaker 1: It escalates tiny bit like shaving, Yes, we can shave him.
Speaker 1: Anyone can shave a man. And then they do that
Speaker 1: wrong and they're like, ah, we got that wrong. Next thing,
Speaker 1: and like then it should slowly escalate to things that
Speaker 1: they like really can't do. And also it needs to
Speaker 1: be a lot faster than it is. And it just
Speaker 1: seems super shaggy, like they're like it almost feels like
Speaker 1: they're improvising. Yeah, and nothing was written in advance for
Speaker 1: them to do.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and nothing was cut yeah. Yeah, so they're momentarily
Speaker 2: saved when the patient's son only gasps, wakes up, and
Speaker 2: then dies on the table.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: We cut outside the tent. The two of them walk out,
Speaker 2: they're whistling, they're trying to act casual, and then the
Speaker 2: rebel leader comes out, remember that was his brother and
Speaker 2: all the other doctors, and he shouts something at all
Speaker 2: of his men, and they all start chasing Emma and Austin.
Speaker 2: They didn't kill him, They actually didn't do anything. Yeah,
Speaker 2: why are you mad at the doctors? This doesn't make
Speaker 2: any sense?
Speaker 1: Chased away?
Speaker 2: I mean whatever that clearly the movie is as well.
Speaker 2: It's just waa sorry. I know my wet.
Speaker 1: Bleas he better than them having actually killed the guy, though,
Speaker 1: I have oh yeah.
Speaker 2: Hundred like I I just think, like, what do they
Speaker 2: do afterwards? They'd be like they pronounced him dead in
Speaker 2: some way that's that's extremely irreverent.
Speaker 1: Or yeah, they're like, don't worry, we're not real doctors. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then they get chased out.
Speaker 2: Something like that. Yeah, so they are forced to fly
Speaker 2: the camp. They're being chased, They get into a nearby ambulance.
Speaker 2: There is a long chase sequence that is it's not
Speaker 2: comic or thrilling. I don't know why it exists. Just
Speaker 2: have them drive off in the ambulance. It's nothing happens,
Speaker 2: it's funny they get at one point, they both get
Speaker 2: pulled into the back to fight like a border in
Speaker 2: the ambulance with the ambulance keeps going. I'm like, how
Speaker 2: the ambulance would stop. No one is driving it. There's
Speaker 2: no one hitting the accelerator anyway. Anyway, a fall is
Speaker 2: so annoyed.
Speaker 1: You guys need to see the look at his face.
Speaker 1: He's so he just looks like you hated him. Something
Speaker 1: disgusting to eat and he's trying to swallow.
Speaker 2: It makes me crazy. Erica, it's halfway through the movie.
Speaker 2: Should we take a break?
Speaker 1: I think you need a break. You need to take
Speaker 1: a lapse.
Speaker 2: I need to take a lap. You know what, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna go do two tequila shots and I'm gonna come back.
Speaker 2: We're gonna finish this after a couple of messages. Excellent,
Speaker 2: and okay, I've had my two shots of tequila. I'm
Speaker 2: actually more salty because I had the salt with them,
Speaker 2: but I'm less like metaphorically salty. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're
Speaker 2: mellow me exactly, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: Everyone knows tequila just makes people less less themselves.
Speaker 2: They don't call it truth serum for nothing. Haha.
Speaker 1: Everyone knows nothing makes mellow someone out like tequila, like
Speaker 1: doing shots. Yeah, yep, yep, it just makes everyone super chill.
Speaker 2: So we cut to Ruby and Keys. That's the bureaucratic
Speaker 2: half of the four horsemen of the governmental incompetence. Yeah,
Speaker 2: whatever it was. They are arriving at a secret base
Speaker 2: that's hidden in an abandoned drive in. We get an
Speaker 2: actual like run of cameos now because they pull in.
Speaker 2: There's these two guards. I did not recognize them until
Speaker 2: I looked at the cast list, but you said you did, right, Well.
Speaker 1: I recognized one of their faces and I thought it
Speaker 1: was someone else. I thought he was an actor because
Speaker 1: I was like, I know this face. It's a very
Speaker 1: distinctive face. And that's because that face belongs to Joel
Speaker 1: Cohen of the Cohen Brothers, And yeah, that's a distinctive face.
Speaker 2: And the other guy is Sam Raimi. Yeah, both of them.
Speaker 2: I was. It was one of those things where I
Speaker 2: was like, oh, they must have gone on to do
Speaker 2: stuff Like I was like, I did what you did
Speaker 2: their actors, I don't. I don't know their names. That's
Speaker 2: you know whatever. Then they go in and then BB
Speaker 2: King is there him.
Speaker 1: I knew right away BB King.
Speaker 2: I was like, that's I know. I knew it was
Speaker 2: he was a famous person. I wasn't pulling BB King.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I literally, like out loud to the TV, was like,
Speaker 1: baby King's in this. You know, we would have recognized
Speaker 1: Joel Cohen if we'd had Francis McDorman standing next to
Speaker 1: him like a fabulous gown talking about an award she's
Speaker 1: about to win. Yeah, that's that's how I know Joel
Speaker 1: CON's face.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Imagine being one of the most part of one
Speaker 2: of the most successful directing duos of all time and
Speaker 2: still not being as famous or as accomplished as your wife.
Speaker 1: Hah, you just imagined Joel Cohen's whole thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know what, he's still weather, which means
Speaker 2: maybe he's a good egg. I hope.
Speaker 1: So I bet he's a good egg. I think he's
Speaker 1: the Cohen seem good like good eggs.
Speaker 2: I agree, I agree, all right. So it turns out
Speaker 2: that the generals, the other two of the four horsemen
Speaker 2: of governmental incompetence have made this base into an anti
Speaker 2: ballistic missile system, using money that they fooled Congress into
Speaker 2: thinking was for more stealth bombers. There is one line
Speaker 2: in the movie about this. I'm connecting this back to
Speaker 2: the first scene. This is what I am gathering. Maybe
Speaker 2: I'm wrong, I think this is what it is. So
Speaker 2: the generals welcome the two bureaucrats in just as they
Speaker 2: receive a collect call from Pakistan from Emmett, who's requesting
Speaker 2: extraction by saying, get us that hell out of here. Funny.
Speaker 2: They decide that the longer they keep the decoys in
Speaker 2: the field, the more heat that will be off the
Speaker 2: team doing the real work. So the decoys are still.
Speaker 1: Useful and they're doing their job. They are decoying.
Speaker 2: The decoys are decoying.
Speaker 1: The decoys be decoying.
Speaker 2: So they tell Emma and Austin that a rescue team
Speaker 2: will be ready once they accomplish their objective. And Emmett
Speaker 2: and Austin ask what is the objective? Because remember they've
Speaker 2: never been told what their actual mission is. They've just
Speaker 2: been told they're being dropped in Pakistan, and then they
Speaker 2: were never met by anybody. They're told it's neat to know,
Speaker 2: and right now they don't need to know. The four
Speaker 2: Suits send them into the USSR with instructions on how
Speaker 2: to find their next contact.
Speaker 1: We shot on the script a bit, but I'm gonna
Speaker 1: keep shitting on the script of smarter script would have
Speaker 1: had them have a mission, yeah, because if the whole
Speaker 1: point is that they're supposed to draw attention away from
Speaker 1: the real team, then they should actually be drawing attention.
Speaker 1: These are these guys are accidentally drawing attention, which is
Speaker 1: also funny, But it'd be funnier if there was like
Speaker 1: a thing they were being told to do that would
Speaker 1: super draw attention to the fact. Like they keep like
Speaker 1: walking into a high school and being like, anyone have
Speaker 1: drugs here?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean, Like, oh, those are definitely narcs.
Speaker 2: They need to be more overcover, specifically specifically specifically overcover,
Speaker 2: not generally overcame.
Speaker 1: We talked about overcover during the Mission Impossible episode of
Speaker 1: Spies overcovering instead of undercovering, like, oh, you're obviously spies.
Speaker 1: So Austin and Emmett wonder how they're gonna get into
Speaker 1: the USSR for for if you don't know what I'm
Speaker 1: talking about congratulations of being young. I used to call Russia, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and a whole bunch of other places. You know what,
Speaker 1: I don't have time to go into it. Google it.
Speaker 2: You probably don't get random pains in your finger when
Speaker 2: you wake up for no reason. Why is my finger hurt? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Why does a finger hurt?
Speaker 1: Why does a finger hurt? And also I know exactly
Speaker 1: what the Uss are? So Austin and Emmett arrive at
Speaker 1: a plan. They'll have to sell everything they are wearing,
Speaker 1: disguise themselves as like Russian natives, basically like to be
Speaker 1: able to cross the border undetected. So they start that plan,
Speaker 1: and then they get on a bus to the border
Speaker 1: of between Pakistan and Russia. And on their way at
Speaker 1: the border, they see Karen the doctor and Hadley the
Speaker 1: other doctor right that they saw earlier before from the
Speaker 1: botch surgery, that it wasn't even a surgery.
Speaker 2: It wasn't even the guy just died.
Speaker 1: The guy just died. So they immediately approach them and
Speaker 1: em It begins emitting and he's like, hey, what's up,
Speaker 1: sexy lady, And Karen's like, absolutely not. But while that's happening,
Speaker 1: Austin who's not a total moron, is like watching them,
Speaker 1: and he sees her putting a silver case in her
Speaker 1: saddle bags right.
Speaker 2: On the horse, not the saddle bags on her.
Speaker 1: This one does not have sate She does not have
Speaker 1: saddle bags.
Speaker 2: She is a saddle bag free.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he tells Emmett. Austin tells Emmett that this means
Speaker 1: that Karen and Hadley are not doctors either, because that
Speaker 1: case is a system for sending and receiving satellite messages
Speaker 1: of very highly classified device. Oh my god, there are
Speaker 1: more agents in the fields. Yeah, these are not doctors.
Speaker 1: These are other agents. Emmett asks are they spies.
Speaker 2: Like us title of the film.
Speaker 1: And Austin, again very cleverly goes, yes, they're definitely spies,
Speaker 1: but we don't know who they are or who they're
Speaker 1: working for, remember, so they're not necessarily on our side.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a choice. In the scene, they're kind of
Speaker 2: at this big hub of activity. I don't really know.
Speaker 2: Maybe it's like supposed to be like a rest area
Speaker 2: or something. And while Austin is telling Emmett all of
Speaker 2: this stuff, he's watching like a puppet show. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: like a marionette show. I don't really have anything to
Speaker 2: say about it. It's just a wild choice. It's like
Speaker 2: so distracting what is going on? Anyway?
Speaker 1: You know how Russians love puppets. They love puppets, They
Speaker 1: love chess, they love ballet, and they fucking love puppet.
Speaker 2: That's it. That's if you know three things about Russians,
Speaker 2: and now you do, and now know those three things.
Speaker 1: Also you want to know four things vodka, five things caviar,
Speaker 1: you know six things. I don't know a sixth thing.
Speaker 2: That's it. That's it.
Speaker 1: I'm done.
Speaker 2: So we cut to Austin and Emmett on a camel,
Speaker 2: and man, you really don't You really don't know how
Speaker 2: fucked up a camel looks until you see a camel
Speaker 2: up close.
Speaker 1: Honestly, though, don't they kind of remind you of cats? Because,
Speaker 1: first of all, in this scene, no scene, I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna jump ahead a couple of seconds, the camel just
Speaker 1: decides I'm tired, I'm done, and it sits fuck off,
Speaker 1: fuck off. That's cat be here.
Speaker 2: That okay behavior, Yes, that's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: They're kind of dicks the way cats are, but they're
Speaker 1: kind of cute the way cats are too, so you
Speaker 1: kind of want to like nuzzle them a little bit.
Speaker 1: I love a camel.
Speaker 2: I I really agree with the idea that camels are cute.
Speaker 2: That is a fucked up looking animal.
Speaker 1: Those giant sexy eyebrows, Yeah, sexy, I said it. I
Speaker 1: find camels sexually attractive.
Speaker 2: They look like if if if an uncircumcised penis was
Speaker 2: made into an.
Speaker 1: Animal but also had breasts and gorgeous sexy eyes. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, you're making it worse now. I really want
Speaker 1: to fuck a camel.
Speaker 2: I didn't realize that camels they they have like hooves,
Speaker 2: slash toes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, webbed hoofs.
Speaker 2: That weird to be out. That's really weird to be out.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie that part of it is weird.
Speaker 1: That's fucking weird. Also, they don't want to be your friend, no,
Speaker 1: so it just makes you want them to be your
Speaker 1: friend harder, like they're nagging you. God, camels are cool.
Speaker 1: I wish it could be a camel.
Speaker 2: You know who the coolest camel is Joe Camel.
Speaker 1: Joe Camel, the smoking Camel.
Speaker 2: Joe Camel, the smoking Camel.
Speaker 1: Fuck you governments, particular with Joe Camel. Maybe I want
Speaker 1: to smoke cigarettes. Maybe I want my kids to smoke.
Speaker 2: You don't know me.
Speaker 1: You don't know me. You don't know Mike.
Speaker 2: You can't tell me what to do. So Austin and
Speaker 2: Emmit are on this camel. They're following Hadley and Karen.
Speaker 2: Their camel, like Erica said before, for absolutely no reason,
Speaker 2: decides it's done, refuses to move. This gives us a
Speaker 2: chance to enjoy the comic stylings of Chevy Chase imitating
Speaker 2: the noises the camel is making back in its face.
Speaker 2: I really thought the camel was gonna spit out.
Speaker 1: Him genuinely too. I was like, that's a real camel. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like he's playing with his life. Yeah, like that fucking
Speaker 1: animal could just swipe at him and kill him.
Speaker 2: Yep. The two continue on foot, and we eventually find
Speaker 2: them hiking through a full winter climate. We've gone from
Speaker 2: from desert to full snowy winter. They're wrapped in furs
Speaker 2: and these costumes are a lot like pelts and Pelts,
Speaker 2: and and Emma is wearing like an enormous pillbox hat,
Speaker 2: and Austin is wearing like a like a head piece
Speaker 2: that kind of looks like a barrister's wig. And made
Speaker 2: out of it be shown. Aren't those called isn't aka?
Speaker 1: Oh no, that's a woman that's grandmother.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But there's also a hat called that, I swear to you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: a headscarf tied under the chin. Oh yeah, big, that's
Speaker 1: a different thing. JK.
Speaker 2: I want everyone to know that I did the motion
Speaker 2: for headscarf tunder it, even though I didn't say it.
Speaker 2: I didn't know what.
Speaker 1: He did he did. I was too busy looking at Google,
Speaker 1: but yeah he did. Also, this posits that the two
Speaker 1: of them hiked a fucking mountain. I don't believe it.
Speaker 1: I don't believe it. No, they height high enough that
Speaker 1: it became like a snow snow drift tundra. That's not No,
Speaker 1: I don't believe you.
Speaker 2: That's not how mountain's mountain.
Speaker 1: That's well, that is how mountains mountain. That's not how
Speaker 1: these two rons mountain.
Speaker 2: That's not how RONI.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. So the two of them are on their mountain,
Speaker 1: they're waiting for their contact, and they're spotted by Russian
Speaker 1: equivalent of highway patrol, and they're held at gunpoint.
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna point out really quickly. I won't dwell
Speaker 2: on it. This is another one of those things where
Speaker 2: they stand there staring at something and then the lights
Speaker 2: come on and they see it. It's they are five
Speaker 2: feet away from a car they don't see, and then
Speaker 2: the cartoons headlights on and they're like just putting it there.
Speaker 1: This one I didn't notice and I didn't laugh, So
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go. I'm on your side. I'm on your side.
Speaker 1: Then I bet it's dumb excellent. Austin, rather than be caught,
Speaker 1: throws himself down the mountain side.
Speaker 2: You know what. Sure, that's how you spy.
Speaker 1: That's how you spy.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: Gulogs are no fun.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: I refuse to be in one.
Speaker 2: Not interested.
Speaker 1: I would rather die on this mountain.
Speaker 2: It is a blanket no for me on gulags. Yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: Emmett is picked up and brought in because Emmett uh
Speaker 1: never read the debrief on how shitty gurlogs are?
Speaker 2: That makes sense. We cut to Emmett being held in
Speaker 2: a cabin. He's handcuffed. This is the third and final
Speaker 2: time where two characters are standing right in front of
Speaker 2: him and he has to pretend he doesn't see them
Speaker 2: because it's.
Speaker 1: Butt and Bob oh, look at them Butt and.
Speaker 2: Bob are back. He tries to wisecrack his way through
Speaker 2: the interrogation. Butt and Bob are not interested. They are
Speaker 2: done playing. One of them keeps hitting him, and then
Speaker 2: the other one is like, you're gonna answer our questions?
Speaker 2: Are I'm gonna cut off your fingers and the other
Speaker 2: guy hits him in chemmy chase goes, they're cutting you
Speaker 2: gonna cut off my fingers? Stop hitting me?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that made me laugh. I wrote that one down.
Speaker 1: Why are you still hitting me? He's gonna cut my
Speaker 1: fingers off? Hitting is not gonna hit me to talk.
Speaker 2: He has upped the anpty. This is now the bar.
Speaker 1: Meanwhile, Austin trapesing through the snow. He's muttering to himself
Speaker 1: and he hears gunshots. It turns out that Karen and
Speaker 1: Hadley have encountered another group of Soviet soldiers and after
Speaker 1: a shootout, Karen is the only one left alive. And
Speaker 1: in case you didn't already figure it out, Karen and
Speaker 1: Hadley were the main team that was sent in. Austin
Speaker 1: and Emmett were the decoys for Karen and Hadley. Austin
Speaker 1: falls down another cliff and winds up right in front.
Speaker 2: Of Karen, just for the point of order. He hears
Speaker 2: the gunshots, he starts running in let's let's say a
Speaker 2: westerly direction. He trips, he tumbles down, He falls for
Speaker 2: like ten seconds down this cliff in the opposite direction
Speaker 2: easterly in this example, and he winds up in front
Speaker 2: of Karen, which implies he started running away from the
Speaker 2: gunshots he was hearing.
Speaker 1: But then landed back where in the gunshots central.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I was like, doesn't he he probably wants
Speaker 2: to run towards the gunshots. I mean, I know we
Speaker 2: would run away from them, but he's just I don't know.
Speaker 1: I got he thinks he's a real spy.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So now Karen's her own on her mission. Austin
Speaker 1: is like, great, I need your help. Emmett's been caught.
Speaker 1: We need to help him out. And she's like, ah,
Speaker 1: you two were decoys. I don't know if you're aware
Speaker 1: of that. Yeah, and my partner who's now dead, and
Speaker 1: I were the original team and I'm not interested in
Speaker 1: wasting my time saving the decoy when I have my
Speaker 1: mission to accomplish, he snaps. Austin snabs, look, I have
Speaker 1: a mission too, and my mission is to get my
Speaker 1: partner out. Yeah, and he leaves.
Speaker 2: We cut back to the cabin. Emmett is being let
Speaker 2: out by his captors when suddenly Austin, like like Zoro himself,
Speaker 2: starts riding up, shouting and firing guns into the air,
Speaker 2: a gun in each hand. Yeah, no self involved in this,
Speaker 2: no trying to get him out, just a full frontal assault,
Speaker 2: four on one. Great. The Russians take cover and a
Speaker 2: short standoff happens until the Russians Erica are hoisted on
Speaker 2: their own petard. They throw a grenade at the two Americans. Unfortunately,
Speaker 2: it's one of those grenades that takes a full twenty
Speaker 2: five seconds to detonate.
Speaker 1: Yeah, those are two too long. It's a grenade PSA
Speaker 1: for this episode. If you are a grenade maker, yeah,
Speaker 1: if you are a purveyor of fine American grenades, I
Speaker 1: would suggest no more than a five second yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like pin to explosion ratio.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I got I got concerned because I don't know
Speaker 2: anything about grenades, and I was like, maybe I'm wrong,
Speaker 2: Maybe grenades do take thirty seconds to explode.
Speaker 1: Notoriously easy to throw that.
Speaker 2: And I was like and then I looked up as like, no,
Speaker 2: it seems to be like a five second delay. You
Speaker 2: pull it and you get it the fuck away from you,
Speaker 2: and that's it. But this one takes twenty five seconds,
Speaker 2: so Emmett has time to catch it. Ask Austin what
Speaker 2: it is. He tells him, He stands up, He throws
Speaker 2: it back into the cabin, where it lands on a
Speaker 2: bucket of other grenades, which sets off a chain explosion. Yeah,
Speaker 2: Emmett and Austin flee on horseback while the Russians also
Speaker 2: run away.
Speaker 1: Cinematography is very good. The special effects are quite good. Oh,
Speaker 1: this explosion was awesome. So like when it does like
Speaker 1: the action thing, it actions quite well. Well that's not
Speaker 1: true because when it's a big fight scene it's not great.
Speaker 1: But like some of the action stuff, explosions and stuff
Speaker 1: like that are done very well. And we haven't really
Speaker 1: hit it yet. But there's a whole sequence later when
Speaker 1: they're like at night in the snow and they encounter
Speaker 1: another group of people and there's like a purple glow
Speaker 1: to the scene. There are moments where like the imagery
Speaker 1: on screen is actually quite beautiful, and like the cinematography
Speaker 1: and the art direction of this movie are very very good.
Speaker 1: I would also say these costumes are good. You know,
Speaker 1: you know what movie is not great when I'm like
Speaker 1: the costumes though, you guys the costs too.
Speaker 2: Have you considered the gorgeous vista that nature created that
Speaker 2: they were nice enough to put in their movie so
Speaker 2: we could see it?
Speaker 1: Yeah, have you fought? Look that explosion went boom.
Speaker 2: So we find them again linked up with Karen. No
Speaker 2: explanation as to why. I guess ostensibly you could say
Speaker 2: maybe there was a cut scene where she, like Austin shame,
Speaker 2: turned to helping him, and she gave him the horse
Speaker 2: and the weapons, and she was like, if you come back,
Speaker 2: we can join up. If not, I I have to
Speaker 2: protect myself to to finish the mission.
Speaker 1: That makes a ton of sense because Karen and her
Speaker 1: partner were both on horseback, so it makes sense that's
Speaker 1: where he got the horse from from the dead partner.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So there with Karen, they arrive at the site
Speaker 2: of the Soviet missile that started at all that Soviet
Speaker 2: missile that crushed all those pine trees that we saw
Speaker 2: in the very beginning of the movie. They're observing the
Speaker 2: camp from afar. They note three male soldiers who are
Speaker 2: doing this fun little like dance. They have like a
Speaker 2: boombox and.
Speaker 1: It's Yes, there's actually a really funny line here. They
Speaker 1: hear this like American song and they're like, what is that?
Speaker 1: And Austin says it's Soule Finger by the bar Keys,
Speaker 1: and Emma says, whoof, they must be having trouble getting gigs.
Speaker 1: That's a chuckle.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So they also see one older female soldier who
Speaker 2: seems to be in charge, and then one younger female
Speaker 2: soldier who likes to do that thing that everyone does
Speaker 2: when they're camping the snow, you know exactly. Yeah, it's
Speaker 2: that thing where like you put on your lacey Brian
Speaker 2: and your little panties and you just step your feet
Speaker 2: into your snowsuit and then you waddle outside and you
Speaker 2: stretch and kind of let your enormous kazungas feel the
Speaker 2: cold to the lace. So you get you get those pointy.
Speaker 1: The mighty melons are a meloning.
Speaker 2: The headlights are up, and then you put on your
Speaker 2: snowsuit to protect against the bitter cold.
Speaker 1: Because I don't know if like you mentioned you mentioned
Speaker 1: a bikini, but it's like it's it's like a string
Speaker 1: bikini almost that I'm wearing and this is scenario obviously.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: The less coverage the better. That way, the snowsuit feels
Speaker 2: warmer when you put it on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, so I have I have notes for the scene.
Speaker 1: I really do about what about what?
Speaker 2: So?
Speaker 1: Okay, So they're watching this, they see like, you know,
Speaker 1: random soldiers, older woman and then they see the hot
Speaker 1: woman and I did look her up and she turns
Speaker 1: out she's like a supermodel or something.
Speaker 2: She stuning.
Speaker 1: She is a full fucking tent. This woman. She's tall,
Speaker 1: she's gorgeous, enormous breasts and so like the joke is
Speaker 1: is that the two boys are like, whoaing hot lady,
Speaker 1: which is fine, but it's like I wanted her to
Speaker 1: have more to do. So like, if I were writing
Speaker 1: this scene, I would have her coming out like all
Speaker 1: the other soldiers are dressed like to toe because it's
Speaker 1: it's frozen, right, And she comes out in a shorter
Speaker 1: porka and they're like look at those legs, you know, woo,
Speaker 1: And then she starts to like remove pieces of clothing
Speaker 1: until she ends up in her bikini and they're like
Speaker 1: what the like she can't get any more naked? And
Speaker 1: then she starts to do like snow angels in the
Speaker 1: snow something like that. Give her shit to do.
Speaker 2: Give her a joke, so she's not just an object.
Speaker 1: Yeah that, Like the joke is how much it's weird,
Speaker 1: how much this woman likes getting naked and frolicking in
Speaker 1: the snow. Yeah, like, or then she builds a snowman
Speaker 1: that looks like her, and it's just like tall, sick, it's.
Speaker 2: A perfect, perfect model.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, give her shit to do because like this,
Speaker 1: this didn't even make me laugh, I just got I
Speaker 1: like rolled my eyes at the joke was so obvious.
Speaker 2: Well, and also it's not a joke. There's no joke
Speaker 2: to it.
Speaker 1: I think the joke is how the guys react to her.
Speaker 1: But also she's worth reacting to.
Speaker 2: I reacted to her like that.
Speaker 1: It's not Yeah, that's the thing too. It's not like
Speaker 1: it's not like they're like sex starved and she's the
Speaker 1: only woman they've seen for days. This is a leg
Speaker 1: she can't supermodel in her underwear, Like, you're right, that's
Speaker 1: not even a joke. It's not even a real joke.
Speaker 2: The other thing I would say about this and about
Speaker 2: these Russian characters in general, because they will stick around
Speaker 2: basically for the rest of the movie. I don't want
Speaker 2: to give too many points for this because it really
Speaker 2: is the bare minimum. But they are treated like humans
Speaker 2: the whole time, Like they don't have individual characters, but
Speaker 2: like they are not treated as just faceless.
Speaker 1: They're not monsters.
Speaker 2: They're not monster monstrous enemies, which I and they like
Speaker 2: give the five of them kind of like a fun
Speaker 2: like almost familial like interaction, like they seem to like
Speaker 2: each other and they get to they dance to the
Speaker 2: boombox and they laugh together. So it's it's something that
Speaker 2: you don't always see in these kinds of movies, and
Speaker 2: I did appreciate it. I was like, oh, and given
Speaker 2: the way the movie turns out, there's a reason for
Speaker 2: all of this, but like it was nice, is it?
Speaker 1: So Karen informs them of the real objective of the mission,
Speaker 1: which is to subdue the Soviet crew the people were
Speaker 1: seeing down there and seize control of the missile. The
Speaker 1: men object to the idea of killing the Soviets right away.
Speaker 1: They're like, no, no, no, we don't kill people.
Speaker 2: Are you not spies?
Speaker 1: And Karen appeals to their sense of patriotism. She's like
Speaker 1: you're doing it for you, for America.
Speaker 2: What if she's broken to do it for your country
Speaker 2: from Greece too. They had given her a full musical
Speaker 2: number here that would and never explained it. The movie
Speaker 2: could have supported it. I would have supported it, frankly.
Speaker 1: Can I can I tell you something so stupid and
Speaker 1: so dark and it's a real thing and it's going
Speaker 1: to depress you. But I have to say, oh, I
Speaker 1: just saw online this morning that like apparently from the
Speaker 1: White House official oh god, officia jd Vance was like
Speaker 1: shooting of like of a K forty seven at a
Speaker 1: gun range. The caption was something like, this is just
Speaker 1: the vice president learning how to shoot freedom seeds. They're
Speaker 1: calling bullets freedom seeds. Now ew ew.
Speaker 2: Ew.
Speaker 1: It's so bad that I have to laugh at it
Speaker 1: because it's so we're not even doing fascism. Well, we're
Speaker 1: doing it so badly.
Speaker 2: Ew freedom seeds. What a loser?
Speaker 1: Imagine what like, just imagine it's like like forty years
Speaker 1: from now, once this is all over and done, No,
Speaker 1: twenty years from ten years from now, guys, it's gonna
Speaker 1: be over, So this can't last forever, Like this is
Speaker 1: all actually done and we're ready to start really making
Speaker 1: fun of it the way we are like sort of
Speaker 1: starting to get comfortable making fun of other stuff in
Speaker 1: the past. And someone's like, appeal to appeal to the patriotism.
Speaker 1: Tell them about freedom. To me, you're not murdering people.
Speaker 1: You're giving them freedom seeds. You're planting freedom seeds in
Speaker 1: their souls. Sorry. I didn't mean for it to get
Speaker 1: super real for a man, but I gotta go somewhere,
Speaker 1: you guys, ah ew I know, I know. So anyway,
Speaker 1: she's like, Okay, Karen realizes she's not going to appeal
Speaker 1: to their patriotism because they're like Paul, and they're like,
Speaker 1: freedom seeds are just bullets, you dumb fun You're talking
Speaker 1: about bullets. And she's like, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no, we won't be using freedom seeds.
Speaker 2: You have to stop.
Speaker 1: I refuse. I'm looking straight in the eyes and say
Speaker 1: freedom seeds four more times. Oh God, we record these
Speaker 1: so far in advance. I have no idea how poorly
Speaker 1: everything I just said is going to may not make it.
Speaker 2: This may be cut this entire thing genuinely.
Speaker 1: By the time this goes to air, people are going
Speaker 1: to be like triggered by what I just said.
Speaker 2: All right, we can't bring up freedom seeds anymore. In
Speaker 2: case I have to cut.
Speaker 1: This out, I was gonna put it in every sentence
Speaker 1: I say from now on. Erica wasn't even in that
Speaker 1: episode what happened? All right, So she tells, and they're
Speaker 1: gonna be using tranquilizers on the Soviets. Those are French seeds.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: They're gonna be using tranks. They're not gonna be using
Speaker 1: real bullets. Yeah, the boys are back on board. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like fine, we can trank people. That seems fine.
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, back at the abandoned drive in theater, Sline locks
Speaker 2: the doors of the bunker and takes them to response
Speaker 2: level yellow and the systems start to prepare their missile defenses.
Speaker 2: There's all of this like kind of slow moving thing,
Speaker 2: like like laser guns moving up in large mirrors, and
Speaker 2: we don't really know what's going on.
Speaker 1: It's very war games.
Speaker 2: It was very war games.
Speaker 1: I feel like this was so in the zeitgeist in
Speaker 1: the early eighties, like people were just so afraid of
Speaker 1: I can't imagine why, yeah, of nuclear fallout that like this,
Speaker 1: this penetrated like every level of torture.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we cut back to the Soviets at camp. This
Speaker 2: is when they're kind of drinking, laughing, they're having a
Speaker 2: good time. The leader starts dancing to the boom box,
Speaker 2: this funny little dance, right, and then Karen sets off
Speaker 2: a flare that kind of bathes their camp and this
Speaker 2: violet light this is what Erica was talking about before.
Speaker 2: Two figures that kind of look like they look like
Speaker 2: if a kid said they wanted their Halloween costume to
Speaker 2: be robot alien overlord. These two figures start approaching. Obviously
Speaker 2: it's Emma and Austin. They're hoping to get close enough
Speaker 2: to use the tranquilizers on the Soviets because there's a
Speaker 2: limited range on these guns. The Soviets walk towards them.
Speaker 2: They're not sure, they're not sure. The hot one sprays
Speaker 2: a bunch of bullets from an uzi right in front
Speaker 2: of our two heroes. Yeah, and they decide to play dead,
Speaker 2: so they and they fall over. The Soviets walk closer,
Speaker 2: they shoot them with the trank guns, and all five
Speaker 2: of the Soviets are knocked out right.
Speaker 1: So, just to be clear, their plan was to dress
Speaker 1: up like aliens, pretend there's an alien invasion happening, because
Speaker 1: while people will shoot at each other, they won't necessarily
Speaker 1: shoot at aliens.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, I guess maybe they come in peace.
Speaker 1: Look, you guys, If I see aliens, I'm shooting at them.
Speaker 2: They're not American aliens.
Speaker 1: If I see little green men and I have access
Speaker 1: to freedom.
Speaker 2: Seeds, nope, I don't think you need a gun. I
Speaker 2: feel strongly that I would wind up with a phone
Speaker 2: call the middle of the night if you had a gun.
Speaker 1: Are you? I think I'd be amazing with an I
Speaker 1: think I think my level of anxiety is the perfect amount.
Speaker 1: My level of anxiety combined with my outsized sense of
Speaker 1: like imagination and what could possibly be there in the dark, and.
Speaker 2: Deep deep fear of rodents, A deep.
Speaker 1: Fear of rodents, and I guess aliens. I didn't know
Speaker 1: that was in there too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, who knew. I'm not that afraid of the aliens.
Speaker 1: Let's unpack that one further later.
Speaker 2: I know most other humans sucks, so I'm willing to
Speaker 2: give aliens the benefit of the doubt. They may be
Speaker 2: doing better than we are.
Speaker 1: They're probably statistic they got here, at least stem wise,
Speaker 1: they're doing better than we are done.
Speaker 2: Aliens and stem.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm gonna could take this debate with you later.
Speaker 1: I think I think I'd be an excellent gun owner.
Speaker 1: Could you imagine?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Oh, I genuinely I'd be the worst. That's the worst
Speaker 1: gun owner. First of all, zero chance I don't shoot
Speaker 1: myself in the foot.
Speaker 2: That's really what I was thinking. A call from the hospital.
Speaker 2: You have to come get me. I shot myself in
Speaker 2: the foot cleaning my gun. Yeah, that all makes sense.
Speaker 2: So then we cut back to the headquarters. They receive
Speaker 2: word that the mission has been completed. So our three
Speaker 2: heroes in Russia send word to headquarters mission accomplished. The
Speaker 2: agents are awaiting their go ahead for the next step.
Speaker 2: Headquarters starts to send them instructions through Karen's satphone. That
Speaker 2: silver case was that Karen was carrying that Austin recognized.
Speaker 2: For some reason, these instructions are in Russian. I don't
Speaker 2: know why, because this is American to American communication, but whatever,
Speaker 2: Austin relays them to Karen and Emmett. They're carrying them
Speaker 2: out and sline in tones bring all birds into final
Speaker 2: bounce mode, and we see satellites moving into position in
Speaker 2: outer space. I cannot express to you how long this
Speaker 2: goes on and how boring it is. There aren't even
Speaker 2: like failed jokes in it.
Speaker 1: I have to admit I don't remember this at all.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you blacked out from boredom.
Speaker 1: I watched this movie really early in the week because
Speaker 1: I like timing wise, and like, there are moments that
Speaker 1: I'm remembering as we're talking about it, and I'm like ry. Meanwhile,
Speaker 1: back in Russia, our heroes are receiving instructions to plug
Speaker 1: in a code to the missile. They do it, and
Speaker 1: the missile initiates a launch just as the Soviets wake up.
Speaker 1: Everyone's panicking, so like it's clear that Karen was not
Speaker 1: expecting a missile launch here. She's like, whoa, that's not
Speaker 1: what my objective was, or what I was told my
Speaker 1: objective was. So now the Soviets are panicking, The Americans
Speaker 1: are panicking. They flee as the missile takes flight, the
Speaker 1: Soviets are horrified about what the Americans have done. Fair
Speaker 1: They go why why would you do such a thing,
Speaker 1: And the Americans admit they actually don't know what their
Speaker 1: orders were really all about, Like we don't know, we
Speaker 1: don't know what we just did. One of the Soviets
Speaker 1: says they have twenty eight minutes before the missile detonates,
Speaker 1: and Austin calculates that figuring it in counter strikes, Like,
Speaker 1: all right, so let's assume this thing hits Washington. How
Speaker 1: much time do we have until we're hit back? They
Speaker 1: have about forty two minutes before the end of all civilization.
Speaker 2: They process this quickly. I mean, I guess it's a
Speaker 2: bend over and kiss you ask good bye situation, like
Speaker 2: there's nothing we can do. Yeah, so good for them.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure I could get into a full panic
Speaker 1: in forty two minutes. I usually need more time than that.
Speaker 1: Oh really yeah, Oh I could do it, like I
Speaker 1: mean a.
Speaker 2: Full fall planet. Yeah, there's a spiraling that needs to
Speaker 2: happen on some level.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I don't know if my processors run fast
Speaker 1: enough for that.
Speaker 2: That might overheat.
Speaker 1: They all decide to ring in the end of the
Speaker 1: world by fucking each other.
Speaker 2: You know what, fair, I've heard of worse ideas.
Speaker 1: There are many worse ideas.
Speaker 2: You know what, You're not going to get in forty
Speaker 2: two minutes an SDI that matters to you at all.
Speaker 1: Nope, Yeah, an unwanted pregnancy. No, who cares, doesn't matter,
Speaker 1: it's over. It's all over everyone. Karen's like, fine, and
Speaker 1: to the Emmett and I went ew out to my television.
Speaker 1: I went ew she's sleeping with Emmett. Gross. Uh. The
Speaker 1: older woman pairs off with one of the soldiers. So
Speaker 1: there's only Austin left, the two Russian soldiers and the hot,
Speaker 1: super hot lady.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh no, Austin's not gonna get his dick wet
Speaker 2: before the world burns.
Speaker 1: Oh, I don't know something about this wigs me out.
Speaker 1: But wait, Paul, wait, wait, can you believe what's that
Speaker 1: in there? This film pulls out a gay plot line. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was unexpected.
Speaker 2: I was shocked.
Speaker 1: That was dare I say respectful?
Speaker 2: One hundred percent respectful.
Speaker 1: And kind of progressive? Yeah, amazing. Agreed in nineteen eighty six.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: Basically what happens is the two male Russian soldiers look
Speaker 1: at each other wink yeah, and they are like yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: fuck yeah, and they go into a tent together.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: No one says anything.
Speaker 2: No one's grossed out.
Speaker 1: There's no there's no cut to Dan Aykroyd being like, whoa, yeah,
Speaker 1: there's nothing, absolutely nothing is mentioned. It is not even
Speaker 1: a joke. Really, it's just like a sweet moment in
Speaker 1: the movie. And I'm like, holy shit, incredible, And I
Speaker 1: get that in nineteen eighty six that maybe was a joke.
Speaker 1: It's that thing that we talked about that there's.
Speaker 2: Risky business where it's like just the the audience would
Speaker 2: have laughed at them without the but the movie does
Speaker 2: not pileon.
Speaker 1: But the movie does not pileon. And this is not
Speaker 1: the last time we will see these gay soldiers. That's correct,
Speaker 1: That's what that's all I'm saying.
Speaker 2: They won't die. We have incredible representation.
Speaker 1: They won't die, they won't be made fun of, they
Speaker 1: won't be like, no one's gonna walk in on them,
Speaker 1: and like it's incredible. So the soldiers go off together.
Speaker 1: Austin gets the very hot Russian lady. Fuck, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: let's do this.
Speaker 2: He gets to visit her Vladivostok.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: We cut back to the headquarters with the four horsemen
Speaker 2: of bureaucratic incompetence. Right, they initiate their defense protocol, which
Speaker 2: seems to be using a series of mirrors to zap
Speaker 2: a super laser into the air and destroy the missile
Speaker 2: while it's still in space. Whatever they miss o hoopes, yikes,
Speaker 2: This means the missile is still inbound for the US.
Speaker 2: So Ruby and Keys, those are the two bureaucrats not
Speaker 2: The generals start to panic. They say, we need to
Speaker 2: call the president. We need to tell them that the
Speaker 2: USSR is not responsible for this attack. We're going to
Speaker 2: set off World War three. We need to stop it. Unfortunately,
Speaker 2: the generals Erica, it turns out, are Cray like super Cray.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 2: The bureaucrats are Cray. The generals are Cray.
Speaker 1: Cray Yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: Sline says that naive wishing for peace is the surest
Speaker 2: possible way to encourage an aggressor, and they'll risk the
Speaker 2: future of the human race in order to preserve the
Speaker 2: American way of life. So, while the generals and the
Speaker 2: bureaucrats all intended for this fake missile strike to be
Speaker 2: set off, their plan was to fend it off and
Speaker 2: then destroy Russia with nuclear strikes. However, since the dye
Speaker 2: has been cast and the missile is inbound, we might
Speaker 2: as well launch some counter strikes. Shut down this monker.
Speaker 2: We're good in here for seventeen months and just let
Speaker 2: the world burn.
Speaker 1: Meanwhile, back in Russia, Austin has an idea. He thinks
Speaker 1: he can recall the missile. Austin's one of those people
Speaker 1: that when he orgasms, has ideas, Yeah, we should keep
Speaker 1: this man on a loop. We should have we should
Speaker 1: we should hook him up to a machine.
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, because his brain works well. Yeah, in the
Speaker 2: in the afterglow. Yeah, unlike most of us, I guess
Speaker 2: go to sleep.
Speaker 1: So basically, a lot of stuff that we have no
Speaker 1: interest in actually talking about happens where he he figures
Speaker 1: it out. He figures out like how to make the
Speaker 1: missile explode in space and not on Earth, and he
Speaker 1: averts nuclear war.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Two short things to talk about in the scene. One,
Speaker 2: we get to watch Chevy Chase being electrocuted for a while.
Speaker 2: That's fun.
Speaker 1: That's always a good thing.
Speaker 2: I enjoyed that. Second, they two gay Russian soldiers or
Speaker 2: or who knows that maybe they're bisexual. The two Russian
Speaker 2: male soldiers who get together.
Speaker 1: Maybe they're pan sexual.
Speaker 2: Yeah exactly, I don't want I'm not gonna label them.
Speaker 2: They come out of the tent and they have their
Speaker 2: shirts off. I know that's a really little thing, but
Speaker 2: I was like they're not they're not protect Like there's
Speaker 2: no avoiding this, Like these two were fucking it's cool and.
Speaker 1: It's fine, and everyone's no even like at that point,
Speaker 1: everyone's gathered, so you expect, like maybe the older woman
Speaker 1: Russian soldier the person is charged to be like, oh
Speaker 1: what in my in my squadron? But no, again, nothing
Speaker 1: happens and it's not nothing. You say it's nothing, but
Speaker 1: this is nineteen eighty six. This is not nothing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is actually so progressive.
Speaker 2: By the way, apparently the movie initially ended with just
Speaker 2: nuclear war in the world ending. It didn't test well.
Speaker 2: I wonder why. I mean, you can write a comedy
Speaker 2: about nuclear war war, but you can't write a comedy
Speaker 2: about nuclear war that just ends with the total annihilation
Speaker 2: of humanity. That's really hard.
Speaker 1: So you've never seen Doctor Strangelove.
Speaker 2: Then I have.
Speaker 1: I have it spoiler for a sixty year old movie.
Speaker 2: I did see this is the end, and I didn't
Speaker 2: care for it.
Speaker 1: Doctor Strangelove ends like, like that's what they're a lot
Speaker 1: of these movies are basically picking up with Doctor Strangelove. Sure,
Speaker 1: like it's a lot of the same stuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, So at the drive in bunker. The
Speaker 2: army arrives and places everyone under arrest. Keys and Ruby
Speaker 2: immediately try to throw the generals under the bus. The
Speaker 2: generals are very stoic like, so all the bad guys
Speaker 2: are are rested taken away. Then we cut I don't know,
Speaker 2: a month or two months into the future. There's a reporter.
Speaker 2: He's telling us about the ongoing disarmament talks that are
Speaker 2: being led by Emmett. Fits you, right, and then Emmett
Speaker 2: steps out and he tells all the reporters and everyone
Speaker 2: gathered that the talks are going well, but they're they're
Speaker 2: very delicate and we can't tell you anymore right now.
Speaker 2: And then he goes back in and inside our three
Speaker 2: heroes sit with their Soviet friends and they play trivial
Speaker 2: pursuit and when someone gets at question wrong, they have
Speaker 2: to disarm certain missiles on their armament. So it's they're
Speaker 2: they're disarming things through this fun game. And Emmett's with
Speaker 2: Karen and and Austin is with his his the Russian lady.
Speaker 2: And it's actually very sweet.
Speaker 1: Yes, the ending, it's very sweet. This is a war
Speaker 1: movie written by Canadians.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I will say this one once. I think I
Speaker 2: can say that once they hit Russia and this whole
Speaker 2: last section starts, I don't really think I have any complaints. Like,
Speaker 2: I think the funny stuff is funny. There's some borings
Speaker 2: that it goes on for a little too.
Speaker 1: Long, but whenever they cut back to like people, come.
Speaker 2: On, come on, come on. Yeah, but like the last
Speaker 2: third of this movie, it's pretty solid. Not my favorite
Speaker 2: movie ever, but I have no real complaints about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I look this. The messaging is
Speaker 1: is really good. Yeah, like really good.
Speaker 2: You know it's not really good. Did you watch the credits?
Speaker 2: Oh no, Oh, so you missed the Paul McCartney theme
Speaker 2: song Spies Like Us, which.
Speaker 1: I've heard it before. Yeah, I actually know that.
Speaker 2: Listen. Listen, kids, listen, listen.
Speaker 1: I forgot about it.
Speaker 2: Gather close around the fire and.
Speaker 1: Let let Grandpa tell me.
Speaker 2: Grandpa tell you something. If you have a dream, if
Speaker 2: you are a creative person or any anything, you have
Speaker 2: a dream in this world, and all of us have
Speaker 2: voices in our head telling us that we aren't good enough,
Speaker 2: that we're not working hard enough, that will never make it. It's
Speaker 2: so hard to make it in this world. You remember
Speaker 2: that Paul McCartney, who has achieved the very pinnacle of
Speaker 2: creative success, one of the greats.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Sir Paul, Sir Paul.
Speaker 2: McCartney released the song Spies like us, the greats take
Speaker 2: a dump sometimes. So when you take a dump, it
Speaker 2: doesn't mean you're not great. It just means you took
Speaker 2: a dump, like all humans do, even Sir Paul McCartney.
Speaker 2: And that's the end of the movie.
Speaker 1: You should end on that. That should be, That should be,
Speaker 1: that should be. I'm gonna have that written on your tombstone,
Speaker 1: the finest speech ever given.
Speaker 2: Stick around. We will be right back with our random
Speaker 2: observations and final rankings, and we're back Erica. Do you
Speaker 2: have any any other little, little coded messages that you
Speaker 2: want to send to the listening audience and to me,
Speaker 2: frankly about spies like.
Speaker 1: Usha, Just a couple of like jokes that really did
Speaker 1: land with me. During the interminable test taking scene, which
Speaker 1: we shiit on a lot, there was one line that
Speaker 1: really made me laugh. Oh okay, And it turns to
Speaker 1: Austin and goes, what does kg B stand for? That
Speaker 1: made me laugh?
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: I have to say that's that's fair enough.
Speaker 2: Here's here's something that made me laugh that that I
Speaker 2: didn't mention. When Austin rides up on horseback he's gonna
Speaker 2: save Emmett from the Russians. Towards the end of the movie,
Speaker 2: he's like, come on, and chevy Chase runs over and
Speaker 2: he grabs his hand and they pull and they both
Speaker 2: just fall off the horse.
Speaker 1: That's comedy, that's funny. That's fucking funny.
Speaker 2: Because it was fast. It happened fast, and we moved on.
Speaker 1: It was unexpected. Yeah, okay, look what I shout a
Speaker 1: lot on chevy Chase through the episode. I'm gonna give
Speaker 1: him one more flower here. I this might have had
Speaker 1: less mileage with you. But there was a scene earlier
Speaker 1: in the movie when he's doing a press briefing, not
Speaker 1: the one late at the end of the movie. Early like,
Speaker 1: his job with the Pentagon seems to be very like
Speaker 1: media facing, which is like, but then, why would he
Speaker 1: even want to be a spy?
Speaker 2: He seems to have the best parts of all of.
Speaker 1: Those, but also likes he's like very visible. He's a
Speaker 1: visible member of the US government. It's probably not an
Speaker 1: ideal candidate to be a fucking spy. It's the fucking
Speaker 1: White House Press secretary. But I digress. So he's doing
Speaker 1: a press briefing and he doesn't have the information. He
Speaker 1: doesn't want to answer the questions they're asking, actually hard questions.
Speaker 1: He didn't do any of the research, and so he's
Speaker 1: doing this Chevy Chase famous bit where he pretends the
Speaker 1: mic is cutting as he's talking. I genuinely don't know
Speaker 1: if I could do it, but he's yeah, he does
Speaker 1: it in a way that's very good.
Speaker 2: He does it, very good job.
Speaker 1: But I have to say that bit was very funny,
Speaker 1: worked on me, excellent.
Speaker 2: Another Chevy Chase moment that worked for me that we
Speaker 2: didn't bring up. Now, why do I feel bad for
Speaker 2: hating on Cornelia's Chase? Everyone anyone hates him. When they're
Speaker 2: in Pakistan, they're watching the Puppet Show. They're talking about
Speaker 2: the fact that Emma is pursuing Karen, right, Austin's like,
Speaker 2: you're thinking with your dick. Emmett says something about something whatever,
Speaker 2: and Austin says, maybe your dick's not so dumb, and
Speaker 2: then Emmett says got me through high school, yes, And
Speaker 2: I was like, I don't I don't know if I totally.
Speaker 2: I guess it just means he was like screwing women
Speaker 2: so well they're allowing him cheat off.
Speaker 1: Tests, I think so. I think it's either boot because
Speaker 1: that's what he was doing with his manager, right boss.
Speaker 1: I think it's either that he's screwing his teachers to
Speaker 1: get or screwing his like female classmates to get answers
Speaker 1: or to get them to do their homework. Either way,
Speaker 1: I actually think that joke is quite progressive in the
Speaker 1: same way the other one was where he's sleeping his
Speaker 1: way to the top with his female manager, who's gorgeous by.
Speaker 2: The way, Yeah, and just like Chevy Chase. No, but
Speaker 2: I think it stunning. Man.
Speaker 1: It is important in this case as she is she's
Speaker 1: hotter than him, because it implies that like a level
Speaker 1: of skill, it implies he's getting he's he really is
Speaker 1: sleeping his way to the top. He's not just like yea,
Speaker 1: it's like, do you know what I mean? There's something
Speaker 1: about this joke that I find quite progressive because it's
Speaker 1: usually the other way. The gender is flipped and it's
Speaker 1: a woman sleeping her way to the top or a
Speaker 1: woman like sleeping with her teachers to get good grades.
Speaker 1: Or blah blah blah using her tits to get ahead,
Speaker 1: and like, it's not funny anymore when it's women, because
Speaker 1: it's like, first of all, because women aren't funny, Well.
Speaker 2: That is a bit. If you don't accept.
Speaker 1: That, just go no, no, no. But it's funny because
Speaker 1: it's not funny anymore because it's the expected joke, and
Speaker 1: it's kind of it's now like offensive, but when it's
Speaker 1: a guy, it's not offensive and it's actually funny. So
Speaker 1: I agree with you, and I kind of really really
Speaker 1: like this joke.
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 1: Uh, speaking of dicks, there's a line it's stupid but
Speaker 1: funny when they're in that like the woods, when they're
Speaker 1: in training and they're dropped in the middle of the
Speaker 1: woods right before they like quote unquote ninjas descend on them.
Speaker 1: Uh huh. They see these like woodland creatures and Austin goes, wait,
Speaker 1: that's a dick for. And it's like like trying to
Speaker 1: figure out where they are. He's like, that's a dick for.
Speaker 1: That means we're in the you know, such and such
Speaker 1: woods somewhere in the middle of the country. And Emma goes,
Speaker 1: what's a dick for? And Austin says to pee with excellent. Excellent,
Speaker 1: that's just good writing.
Speaker 2: I have a comment about the costuming not on Emma
Speaker 2: in Austin. When they're with Colonel Rambas. There's a bunch
Speaker 2: of grunts, right yep. But Colonel Rhmbas and like it
Speaker 2: seems like his his.
Speaker 1: Age drill sergeants.
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, are wearing something to distinguish them. They
Speaker 2: are wearing these neon canary banana yellow dickies.
Speaker 1: Yes, to me, they look like ascots.
Speaker 2: They look like ascots, but they're not because they are
Speaker 2: elastic gathered around their neck.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I noticed that too. It is odd, it
Speaker 1: is weird, it is ugly, it's very there's no military
Speaker 1: use for it, no, like.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean, except to draw attention to
Speaker 2: yourself because you're wearing camouflage. Other than that, and then
Speaker 2: one incredibly bright neon color that doesn't appear in nature like.
Speaker 1: They don't appear to have any kind of like you know,
Speaker 1: defense mechanism. These aren't going to deflect bullets from your neck.
Speaker 2: No, not at all.
Speaker 1: I don't know why they're wearing them.
Speaker 2: I guess it's just to distinguish them. But then why
Speaker 2: not just get them an actual like yellow scarf to
Speaker 2: tie around their necks, like, I don't know whatever.
Speaker 1: I also was like, I'm not realizing I don't really
Speaker 1: know what military uniforms looked like in the eighties. Not really.
Speaker 1: It's possible these are historically accurate, in which case what
Speaker 1: queen is dressing our military. I need words. I need
Speaker 1: to have words with them because you're doing it wrong.
Speaker 1: Come on, if nothing else, our military should look chic.
Speaker 2: Read the room, Read the room.
Speaker 1: I only have one more, and it's a dumb like
Speaker 1: film nerd joke, but it made me laugh. In the
Speaker 1: Russian Guards outpost, in the one where Austin freeze emmit
Speaker 1: and then they throw the grenade back. Yeah, that scene.
Speaker 1: The in the outpost building, the Russian guards have posters
Speaker 1: up like the walls, and they are posters for American
Speaker 1: made Russian movies. So it's posters for Reds, which I
Speaker 1: found very funny. Yeah, and for Doctor Ravago.
Speaker 2: Yep, excellent. I saw that too. I thought that was cute.
Speaker 2: I had one other thing that it just threw me
Speaker 2: back to the eighties. It's such a small little thing.
Speaker 2: In the very beginning, when we first meet Austin and
Speaker 2: his asshole boss is yelling at him. He's like, clean
Speaker 2: up your desk, and Austin just kind of like shoves
Speaker 2: all the stuff on his desk into a drawer. One
Speaker 2: of the things is a styrofoam McDonald's burger container. Yes,
Speaker 2: and like I had simultaneously like, oh my god, that's
Speaker 2: such a visceral memory when they used to give give
Speaker 2: food in styrofoam.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And then also at the same time and this is
Speaker 2: why the world is ending because it's covered in styrofoam.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I didn't have the second party and we had
Speaker 1: the first part. I had the nostalgia hit because he
Speaker 1: also had a McDonald's like coffee cup on his on
Speaker 1: his desk, and it was like that old logo from
Speaker 1: like nineteen Anytime I see a logo from nineteen eight,
Speaker 1: like the mid eighties in a movie or a TV show,
Speaker 1: I get so happy, like totally there's such a like
Speaker 1: true like endorphin hit to my brain when I get
Speaker 1: one of those, when I see one of those, and.
Speaker 2: It just makes me like it's it's what happens to
Speaker 2: me when I see a tab Oh yes, yes, Erica.
Speaker 2: How should we rank spies like us?
Speaker 1: How about one to ten pentagon based improv troops.
Speaker 2: Oh that we should have picked that up again. That
Speaker 2: was good. That was good. It's something like the Five
Speaker 2: Sides of Funny, something like that.
Speaker 1: The Pentaga faws.
Speaker 2: Oh I love going to a Pentagafaus show after a
Speaker 2: long week of work.
Speaker 1: Yes, ending those pentagavaws absolutely absolutely.
Speaker 2: How about one to ten bewildering legendary cameos?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Why stop at bb King?
Speaker 2: Why stop it, Bob Hope?
Speaker 1: Why not have Miles.
Speaker 2: Gene Kelly just tap dances in the back? It's going on.
Speaker 1: Abraham Lincoln is alive this? Yeah, who knew? One to
Speaker 1: ten Soviet titsmigi the Russian Russian.
Speaker 2: Ladies, headlights, laborche Jugs Ivanova jugs, Oh, jugs Ivanova is good?
Speaker 2: But what if her name is actually Gazunga's Gorbachev fun bags,
Speaker 2: roman Off, dirty pillows, Dostayevski boobs, Petrova. I like this one,
Speaker 2: But how about one to ten bits that don't end?
Speaker 2: For example, for example, we could keep going on that,
Speaker 2: but we're.
Speaker 1: How don't end?
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, let's see this one. Should I? Shall I
Speaker 2: go first this time? Or shall you you go first?
Speaker 2: All right? Looking at this movie through the usual criteria,
Speaker 2: which is as f as people of color, Colonel Rambus
Speaker 2: is a black man. There's really three characters in the
Speaker 2: movie that track the whole way, and even Karen enters
Speaker 2: about halfway through, so it's really Emma and Austin and
Speaker 2: then Karen for like the last fifty percent. And even
Speaker 2: that's genero. She's not in it that much.
Speaker 1: She's not. She's given stuff to do. She is I
Speaker 1: would say Donna Dixon is a very lovely woman, but
Speaker 1: perhaps not the greatest actress of a generation. I think
Speaker 1: that's fair. So she doesn't do much with it. It's
Speaker 1: a little bit wooden.
Speaker 2: It's a little bit wooden she but they give the character.
Speaker 2: The character is competent. The character is an excellent spy, right,
Speaker 2: and she does things that prove that she's a good spy.
Speaker 2: And you know, like when she first meets Chevy Chase
Speaker 2: and she's trying to get her and her team out
Speaker 2: of the problem they're in because they can't operate on him.
Speaker 2: She's she's trying to make sure this guy's gonna operate
Speaker 2: on them so she doesn't get caught, right, So, like, yeah,
Speaker 2: the character gets stuff to do, which is great. Colonel
Speaker 2: Rambas is the only like real speaking role for a
Speaker 2: person of color. But the movie is populated with we think,
Speaker 2: actual South Asian people. While they are in Pakistan, it
Speaker 2: seems like perhaps real Russians while they're in Russia.
Speaker 1: I actually doubt they're real Russians.
Speaker 2: I'm just going by the names of the actors. They
Speaker 2: could be American Russians, like I don't Russian Americans, I
Speaker 2: should say, I don't know. But it's a fairly diverse
Speaker 2: movie for nineteen eighty five, and like we said earlier,
Speaker 2: it never gets offensive with the diversity. They never use
Speaker 2: a diversity as an excuse to again get everybody who
Speaker 2: is white into black or brown face.
Speaker 1: I realized that this sounds like the bar is so low. Yeah,
Speaker 1: when we say things like that, that's because it is.
Speaker 1: But that's because it fucking is.
Speaker 2: The bar is so low, you guys. Yes, the only
Speaker 2: little moment of gay representation is truly progressive, and it
Speaker 2: probably is, like you were saying, like, just the very
Speaker 2: fact that those two men were going off in a
Speaker 2: tent together was a joke in nineteen eighty five. But
Speaker 2: I don't care because the movie doesn't pile onto.
Speaker 1: It and maybe like not really Like honestly, there's like
Speaker 1: a real undercurrent of progressivism through the whole film. Even
Speaker 1: the message itself is excellent. Right, So probably not, And
Speaker 1: it probably was intentional of like, let's have gay people
Speaker 1: in this movie, not make fun of them and just
Speaker 1: show them as.
Speaker 2: Like normal people.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, part part of the part of the fucking team.
Speaker 2: So overall, when I was going into this movie, I
Speaker 2: was very concerned. Yeah, I would say it aged way
Speaker 2: better than I was expecting. Did it age perfectly?
Speaker 1: Know?
Speaker 2: Like, are all of those Pakistani people just set dressing
Speaker 2: basically for the movie? Yes? Are the are the rebel
Speaker 2: freedom fighters a bit? You know? First thought? Absolutely, Like,
Speaker 2: I'm not trying to give too much credit here, but
Speaker 2: I don't think the movie is offensive in any way.
Speaker 2: Do I think it totally succeeds as a comedy? Also, No,
Speaker 2: but that's not what we're judging here. We're judging aging.
Speaker 2: So I don't want to give it too much credit,
Speaker 2: but I want to give it you little credit either. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say maybe a six for aging. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: will give it a six out of ten. Bits that
Speaker 2: don't end and in the spirit of our ranking system.
Speaker 2: I will end here and ask you what you think.
Speaker 1: Hahah Yeah, I'm kind of with you on that. By
Speaker 1: the way, while you were talking, I was looking up
Speaker 1: where this movie was filmed, because I'm like, really, obviously
Speaker 1: can't really film in Russia in nineteen eighty six, and
Speaker 1: it's filmed in Norway. Is where they film the Russian
Speaker 1: scenes and the Sahara as Pakistan because Pakistan guessing also
Speaker 1: would have been a slightly dicey situation har filming wise.
Speaker 1: So in terms of like whether or not the people
Speaker 1: in the background in the Pakistan scenes are actual people
Speaker 1: from Pakistan, probably not. They're probably locals from the Sahara.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure quite where they when Wikipedia says that,
Speaker 1: but I'm guessing it's like Northern Africans or just in
Speaker 1: the background of that scene, like locals. I don't mind it.
Speaker 1: You know, gives local people work, which is nice, It
Speaker 1: doesn't it No one has made fun of No one
Speaker 1: is like it's they never make a joke about Pakistani people, how.
Speaker 2: Backwards they are. Food weird.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that seems like such a like low hanging fruit,
Speaker 1: low hanging fruit. There's always a food joke. There's always
Speaker 1: one right where they're like, do you like what you're eating?
Speaker 1: It's monkey testicles and everyone spits up or whatever, or they.
Speaker 2: Eat something it's too spicy, a diarrhea.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's and they don't do any of that. I
Speaker 1: made this joke earlier, but there is maybe something to
Speaker 1: be said about like war movies written by Canadians. They're
Speaker 1: just a gentler people.
Speaker 2: Yea than we are.
Speaker 1: And so yeah, I really like the progressive streak that
Speaker 1: goes through this movie. Now you were right as a movie.
Speaker 1: Normally when we rank these movies, I'm always like, well,
Speaker 1: it doesn't age well, but it's fucking awesome. Yeah, this
Speaker 1: is the opposite. It actually ages very well. I think
Speaker 1: it ages beautifully in a way because there's there is
Speaker 1: there's like effortless diversity in the film too, right, you have,
Speaker 1: you have people of color, you have which you know,
Speaker 1: you have women. I can't tell if it passes the
Speaker 1: Bechdel test because the Russian women speak and Russian to
Speaker 1: each other, but neither of them were named, so it
Speaker 1: doesn't pass the Bechdel test. It only only has one
Speaker 1: female role, so that's not great. But like I said,
Speaker 1: it has this like very beautiful anti war message. It
Speaker 1: has this very beautiful like let's all get together and
Speaker 1: like have a good time, just fucking chill.
Speaker 2: Everyone just take this and all get rid of our
Speaker 2: nuclear arms and then we're good.
Speaker 1: How about that? How about we do that? So it
Speaker 1: has all of that. However, it's not fun to watch.
Speaker 1: I don't think like it's it goes on too long.
Speaker 1: The jokes are so old timy at this point that
Speaker 1: like they're just not funny. You've seen them all a
Speaker 1: million times. The timing for me is just off, like
Speaker 1: a lot of the jokes are unless it's like a
Speaker 1: quick like pitter pattern kind of like wordplay joke, like
Speaker 1: all in the fall flat does? It all kind of
Speaker 1: falls a little flat. So I wouldn't necessarily recommend seeing it,
Speaker 1: if I'm being honest, if you haven't seen it already.
Speaker 1: But it does age well. So if you love this
Speaker 1: movie when you were a kid, yeah, it may have
Speaker 1: informed your worldview a little bit, and like that's a
Speaker 1: good thing. I think that in the end is a
Speaker 1: net positive. So I'm gonna give it a seven for
Speaker 1: aging well. I think it is, like I'm gonna take
Speaker 1: off points for not having enough female roles for kind
Speaker 1: of objectifying Titsmigee Soviet Tits McGee, even though I am
Speaker 1: now objectifying her.
Speaker 2: We're being funny about it.
Speaker 1: We're being ironic and so like, there is that, but like,
Speaker 1: but given the time the movie was made, what the
Speaker 1: movie is about, and the fact and who made it, Yeah,
Speaker 1: like aka dudes, comedy dudes, it could have gone so
Speaker 1: much off the cliff and it didn't. It's it's it's
Speaker 1: very it's a very nice movie, agreed, you know, it's
Speaker 1: like it's nice. Ye, So yeah, I'll get to give
Speaker 1: it a seven, and then I'm I'm gonna offer a
Speaker 1: palate cleansercause I'm like, eh, so John made a lot
Speaker 1: of movies that are like shaggy and maybe don't even
Speaker 1: age well, and some of them I have to rewatch,
Speaker 1: and I feel like we should do it on this
Speaker 1: show at some point because like Three Amigos is one
Speaker 1: of my favorite movies growing up, I am not sure
Speaker 1: at age as well, So I hesitate, Okay, it is
Speaker 1: about white people in Mexico. Great, yeah, and now it
Speaker 1: has Steve Martin and Martin short in it, so I'll
Speaker 1: even get I'll get a little racism, yeah, frankly, but
Speaker 1: I don't know exactly how it ages, so I don't
Speaker 1: want to recommend that one. Same thing with Blues Brothers.
Speaker 1: It's been a minute, but I do actually really love
Speaker 1: Blues Brothers. So I'm gonna give a tentative if you
Speaker 1: want a good, funny John Landis movie, Right, I can't
Speaker 1: tell you if they age well, but I can tell
Speaker 1: you these are funnier. Three Amigos or Blues Brothers would
Speaker 1: be the ones I would go to.
Speaker 2: I have a similar thought. I was trying to think
Speaker 2: of an eighties spy comedy that I thought that I
Speaker 2: thought was funnier, and I went with Jumping Jack Flash. Oh, Yes,
Speaker 2: which is which, for my money, was a funnier movie.
Speaker 2: I laughed a lot more on Jumping Jackflash.
Speaker 1: Yes I did too. Yeah, you know what's funny is
Speaker 1: Jumping Jackflash was also shaggy, like this movie is so shaggy.
Speaker 1: But when you put Whoopy Goldberg in the center of
Speaker 1: something versus when you put Chevy Chase in the center
Speaker 1: of something, yep, that's where your mayallage will vary. Because
Speaker 1: Whoopy Goldberg to us is a charisma machine, agreed and
Speaker 1: eminently watchable, whereas we both have very limited patients for
Speaker 1: Chevy Chain.
Speaker 2: Very limited Chevy Chase patience. All right, so everyone listening,
Speaker 2: That is the end of our show. You can follow
Speaker 2: us on social media. We are on Threads, we are
Speaker 2: on Blue Sky, we are on Instagram. If you want
Speaker 2: to know what our monthly themes are in advance and
Speaker 2: want to request films on that theme, you gotta do
Speaker 2: on Instagram. It's the only place we take those requests.
Speaker 2: We have a tea public shop. We'd love for you
Speaker 2: to visit it. We would love it if you'd leave
Speaker 2: a five star review on Apple Podcasts or on any
Speaker 2: podcasting platform that you use. If you do that, just
Speaker 2: like Kelsey NC and putting the fun in refund from
Speaker 2: the top of this episode, let us know you did it.
Speaker 2: I'll send you at that Age Well tope back to
Speaker 2: say thank you. And if you thought I don't know
Speaker 2: how to do that well, there is a link in
Speaker 2: the show notes of this very episode that will take
Speaker 2: you to rate this podcast dot com slash do age
Speaker 2: well and it will give you instructions.
Speaker 1: That Aged Well is produced and edited by Paul Keola.
Speaker 1: We would like to thank Shannon, Christy, Laurie, Michelle, Heather
Speaker 1: Danielle Camille, Nicole, Lavender, and some people whose names do
Speaker 1: not appear on their social media profiles. Frankly, good for you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but thank you also for requesting spies like us. Thank
Speaker 1: you for reaching out for letting us know what you
Speaker 1: want to hear. If you want to have a say
Speaker 1: in the topics we discuss, you can join our patreon.
Speaker 1: Every patron gets to vote in an exclusive monthly poll
Speaker 1: to determine one of our subjects. So head on over
Speaker 1: to patreon dot com slash that aged Well podcast to
Speaker 1: find out more.
Speaker 2: It's so fun on the Patreon, it really is. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And usually this is a spot where we would thank
Speaker 2: a patron. And we do have some patrons who are
Speaker 2: ore thanks, but some of them are very shy.
Speaker 1: They don't want to be thanks, they.
Speaker 2: Don't want to they don't want their names set. They're
Speaker 2: very shy, So we were thanking them anonymously.
Speaker 1: Oh wait a minute. If you want to be faked,
Speaker 1: but you just don't want us to say your name,
Speaker 1: you don't have to say your name. Yeah, give us
Speaker 1: a fake name. Yeah, give us the name of your
Speaker 1: sworn enemy. Oh and have us you know what you
Speaker 1: know what? Have us roast them. Yeah, instead of thanking
Speaker 1: you have us roast someone you don't like.
Speaker 2: You know that that dick from the office, Jerry who
Speaker 2: you are? Yeh?
Speaker 1: Give u Jerry.
Speaker 2: Give us a little info on Jerry and we will
Speaker 2: tear him a new one. For you, we.
Speaker 1: Will roast someone.
Speaker 2: Listen, we won't even do any character. We'll do it
Speaker 2: as us.
Speaker 1: If you put a lot of positivity out into the
Speaker 1: world with this podcast, we really do. We try to
Speaker 1: keep things positive. We try to keep things We try
Speaker 1: to like instill people with our values, which are generally
Speaker 1: positive values. But you know what I feel like, Karmicle,
Speaker 1: We we're good. We can swing the other way a
Speaker 1: little bit if you want, we can do some negative.
Speaker 2: In fact, if we have thanked you and you need
Speaker 2: us to roast someone, let us help.
Speaker 1: Oh, let us roast that bitch for you.
Speaker 2: We have anger that we're suppressing to sound this happy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, one hundred percent, we are miserable. Let us let
Speaker 1: us let us feed into that, let us live or
Speaker 1: also if you want to be thanks sincerely and beautifully
Speaker 1: and then feel free to do that as well.
Speaker 2: Erica, any final thoughts on spies like us, No, Paul.
Speaker 1: I have no thoughts on this movie, but if you'll
Speaker 1: excuse me, I'm going to go load up my freedom,
Speaker 1: my freedom boat with freedom. No. I'm trying to think
Speaker 1: of what we could call guns now ejaculators, freedom, freedom, ejaculate,
Speaker 1: freedom peniss. I'm gonna load up my freedom penis with
Speaker 1: its freedom seeds.
Speaker 2: I have to go wash my eyes and ears.
Speaker 3: I have to move to Canada and the there's only
Speaker 3: one woman left and three men because we have Austin
Speaker 3: to Russian dudes, and the built like a ship brick house,
Speaker 3: hot lady, a brit shikhouse.
Speaker 2: We sit it wrong