Speaker 1: Weird getting way media. Hi, misters.
Speaker 2: Is see that guy with it now?
Speaker 1: He's an actor phone, I'm a cam driver. I'm the
Speaker 1: only camp driver in his place.
Speaker 2: Good evening and welcome tonight, mister Walters a Taxi podcast.
Speaker 2: I'm HP your co host, and with me as always
Speaker 2: is my co host, Father Malone. Father Malone, how are
Speaker 2: you this evening?
Speaker 1: Go blow dry your face?
Speaker 2: My favorite insult In this episode we'll get to that.
Speaker 2: We're talking Taxi season two, episodes nineteen and twenty. That's right,
Speaker 2: this is a two parter. You're getting a two for
Speaker 2: one with this episode. It's Shut it Down parts one
Speaker 2: and two. This is interesting, Father Malone. This one is
Speaker 2: credit to It's a story by Mark Jacobson and Michael
Speaker 2: Tolkien and teleplay by Howard Gewertz and Ian Praser, directed
Speaker 2: by James Burrows.
Speaker 1: Why so many writers?
Speaker 2: Well, before we get to that, let's remind the people
Speaker 2: that we're doing these shows in broadcast order and not
Speaker 2: in order of filming. Now, eagle eared listeners to this
Speaker 2: podcast might recall that Mark Jacobson wrote the original article
Speaker 2: that this show is based on night shifting for the
Speaker 2: hip Fleet. Right. He had this idea for this particular story,
Speaker 2: but not being a scriptwriter, he enlisted his friend Michael
Speaker 2: Tolkien to lend him a hand. Their draft went through
Speaker 2: several rewrites, ultimately earning teleplay credits for Gewertz and Praiser,
Speaker 2: who did some additional rewrites. Do you know who Michael
Speaker 2: Tolkien is? Fathermore?
Speaker 1: Are we talking about the screenwriter director of The Rapture
Speaker 1: that Michael Tolkien?
Speaker 2: We are in fact talking about the same Michael Tolkien. Also,
Speaker 2: he would later adapt his own novel The Player for
Speaker 2: the You and I both know he's best known for
Speaker 2: writing Gleaming the Cube for Christian Slater.
Speaker 1: Of course, I didn't want to go that deep on anybody.
Speaker 1: I wanted to start with something really obvious.
Speaker 2: Yeah, something you know, it's just a little thing like
Speaker 2: The Rapture. That's the Mimi Rogers movie, right, Yeah, Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's a good one.
Speaker 1: It's one of those movies where they don't skimp on
Speaker 1: the ending, they actually give you. The apocalypse.
Speaker 2: Take Shelter with Michael Shannon was a similar thing. Have
Speaker 2: you ever seen that? It's about this man who he
Speaker 2: has these apocalyptic visions that there's well, he has these
Speaker 2: visions that is going to be an apocalypse, but no
Speaker 2: one else can see them, so it becomes.
Speaker 1: No, you know what, stop telling me because I want
Speaker 1: to watch that.
Speaker 2: Okay, it's a good one. It's really good, similar to
Speaker 2: what you were just describing. Anyway, we're here to talk
Speaker 2: about Taxi, dammit. We open this episode in the garage
Speaker 2: as a somewhat disheveled Tony stumbles in. He's declaring that
Speaker 2: he's gonna kill the mechanic on duty. I felt like
Speaker 2: we were finally seeing the animal man coming out and
Speaker 2: Tony losing whatever civility he possessed, and he's going to
Speaker 2: kill somebody.
Speaker 1: You know, he's finally your nature you thought was on
Speaker 1: display here when he comes out Blood Thursday and you
Speaker 1: know what, He comes in screaming that I'm gonna punch
Speaker 1: out the day shift mechanic. But all I could think
Speaker 1: is is Banta about to kill Laka?
Speaker 2: I guess Laka technically is the late shift mechanic, right.
Speaker 1: I guess, And I'm sure they're making that distinction, so
Speaker 1: we don't think, oh, he's about to destroy Loaka, But like,
Speaker 1: how can we not think he's gonna kill Loca, the
Speaker 1: only person we've ever seen in the garage really a
Speaker 1: side of a couple of day players has been Loakka
Speaker 1: because he could.
Speaker 2: Kill Loca with his bare hands. Let's be honest. I
Speaker 2: mean Tony would not be denied. Bobby and Alex they
Speaker 2: intercede and asked Tony to sit with them and tell
Speaker 2: him what happened, because there's something going on here. Tony
Speaker 2: explains that he was driving his cab. He came to
Speaker 2: a red light and we went to put the brakes on.
Speaker 2: His feet went right to the floorboard. His brakes wouldn't work,
Speaker 2: so he was, to his description, he's going down at
Speaker 2: Fifth Avenue, fifty miles an hour, out of control, no brakes,
Speaker 2: and in desperation he ran his cab into a lamppost
Speaker 2: to stop it, which I think it's the funny part
Speaker 2: is Alex openly wonders why Tony didn't use the emergency
Speaker 2: brake to stop his car, and I think Tony's response
Speaker 2: is a very weak Well, it's for emergencies, and Alex
Speaker 2: is like, yeah, like careening through Fifth Avenue going fifty
Speaker 2: miles an hour, But he's a simpleton. What can you do?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know. Everyone now calls that the parking break,
Speaker 1: but originally called the emergency break for good reason.
Speaker 2: I still think of it as the E break. I mean,
Speaker 2: that's what I always knew it as. But you're right
Speaker 2: it is. No one uses it unless they're parked on
Speaker 2: a hill. That's the only time I ever use it.
Speaker 2: But you know it's there for a reason. Elaine goes
Speaker 2: on to say that this isn't just an isolated incident.
Speaker 2: Apparently there's been a recent rash of Cabby's getting into
Speaker 2: accidents in their cabs. Tony is still wanting to pound
Speaker 2: the mechanic, but Alex correctly points out that they're not
Speaker 2: the problem. He's pointing his finger at the powers that be,
Speaker 2: like mister McKenzie, the guy who owns the garage. They're
Speaker 2: reluctant to provide in them with new cabs or the
Speaker 2: resources to keep these old cabs running. And right on cue,
Speaker 2: Louis emerges from the bathroom. He's got his newspaper in
Speaker 2: hand and everything. All the Cabby's, including the extras, they
Speaker 2: just stop and stare at him as he crosses past
Speaker 2: the poker table. Little side note, we have a Richard
Speaker 2: Sakai sighting. Did you see him? Father alone? He's among
Speaker 2: the riff raft.
Speaker 1: I did see him all riff raft up this time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's always got a newspaper in his hand. I
Speaker 2: think that's his trademark.
Speaker 1: Now, lots of scarves in this episode, a lot of scarves,
Speaker 1: A lot of scarf work going on with the background
Speaker 1: players today.
Speaker 2: Well, this is one of those episodes where they go
Speaker 2: to great lengths to make it seem really really cold.
Speaker 2: As we'll talk about, you'll see a lot of like
Speaker 2: there's a few moments where like Bobby has to come
Speaker 2: in from the cold and for reasons we'll get to,
Speaker 2: and he's really over selling it, like rubbing his hands together,
Speaker 2: going cold. So that's why you're seeing all these scarves
Speaker 2: and gloves and things.
Speaker 1: Are you saying that he overdoes it as an actor?
Speaker 1: Are you accusing Jeff Conaway of going over the top?
Speaker 1: How dare you?
Speaker 2: It's not. This is the one of the rare instances
Speaker 2: where I'm not calling Bobby a ham. I'm calling Jeff
Speaker 2: Conway a bit of a ham. Here, Bobby takes the initiative,
Speaker 2: steps forward and tells Louis that the cabs have been
Speaker 2: falling apart lately and Tony's breaks just went out on him.
Speaker 2: Their lives are in danger every time they go out
Speaker 2: father alone, and it's high time the company did something
Speaker 2: about it. And then Alex goes even further and says
Speaker 2: to Louie, you better be careful because this mob could
Speaker 2: turn ugly. Right, Louie to placate the mob, says he's
Speaker 2: going to do something about it, and something he doesn't
Speaker 2: normally do. He's going to write a report which everybody
Speaker 2: it elicits this groan from everybody in the garage because
Speaker 2: they know this is just he's paying them lip service. Basically,
Speaker 2: as he starts filling up the report, Tony even says
Speaker 2: that Louie's always writing these reports. They do no good.
Speaker 2: And Louis says he's going to go even further, Father Malone,
Speaker 2: and he's going to issue drive defensively stickers, which which
Speaker 2: is funny to me because I remember that being a
Speaker 2: big big deal when we were kids. You remember that.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm not even sure if that's still taught
Speaker 2: as a way.
Speaker 1: Of driving years so probably not.
Speaker 2: That only elicits more groans because they know that this
Speaker 2: is going to do nothing to solve the problem. Bobby
Speaker 2: in fact blocks Louie's retreat into his cage and he's
Speaker 2: insisting now that Loui's got to do something about it.
Speaker 2: And this is where Louis gives Bobby the great insult
Speaker 2: that you let off the top with which is go
Speaker 2: blow dry your face. And what ensues is a cartoonish
Speaker 2: chase around the garage where everybody.
Speaker 1: Up. Where'd he go? I think he's over here. He's
Speaker 1: gotta be behind this box. I think fellas when.
Speaker 2: It should have been under cranked, just to make it
Speaker 2: seem a little bit hard day's night and right. But
Speaker 2: Louis scurries around, he goes up the steps to escape
Speaker 2: the mob, and he actually goes like Alex follows him,
Speaker 2: and Alex even exclaims, hey, there's a secret passage.
Speaker 1: Here by the way the ad R line, there's a
Speaker 1: secret passage here to explain to the audience what was
Speaker 1: going on. Give me a fucking break.
Speaker 2: That was a bit much.
Speaker 1: Oh we were, you know, thank god that they threw
Speaker 1: that in. We wouldn't have been able to follow the accident.
Speaker 2: When I watched this as a kid, I remember because
Speaker 2: what happens is Louis disappears from the second floor to
Speaker 2: emerge from the first floor. He comes out basically through
Speaker 2: the bathroom door. So the idea is that Louis is
Speaker 2: privy to all these little nooks and crannies and escape
Speaker 2: roots throughout the garage. Of course, now I know that
Speaker 2: this is just one big stage, so he probably just
Speaker 2: walked down a set of stairs that are obscured by
Speaker 2: the set and just emerged from the bathroom door. But
Speaker 2: as a kid, I thought, wow, this is kind of cool.
Speaker 2: There's all these secrets in the garage that only Louis
Speaker 2: knows about, and he even says that. I think he
Speaker 2: even says to the mob, like, you maybe give up
Speaker 2: one of my secrets, but there's plenty more where that
Speaker 2: comes from.
Speaker 1: So you can got them right right.
Speaker 2: He goes through this escape patch and he escapes to
Speaker 2: the relative safety of his cage.
Speaker 1: Which we know would actually afford nothing, because we've seen
Speaker 1: Riga rip that cage open. If they really wanted Louie
Speaker 1: to Palmer right now, they could get him.
Speaker 2: That was it, at least in the heat of the moment.
Speaker 2: An enraged beyond all reason.
Speaker 1: Riger I'm just saying, they're all acting like, oh, now
Speaker 1: he's in the cage, Now he's safe. Like that cage
Speaker 1: is in no way secure. This isn't Danny Noonan behind
Speaker 1: that very secure door at the caddy shack?
Speaker 2: You don't want no coke?
Speaker 1: You don't get no coke? What do you think of that?
Speaker 2: It y? What's that sign say no bare of feet?
Speaker 2: What's that sign say no fighting? Well, what's it mean?
Speaker 2: No fighting?
Speaker 1: So you don't near me for anything else?
Speaker 2: Lou Bobby in frustration just says, you know, we should
Speaker 2: just walk. But Elaine being the voice of reason, which
Speaker 2: I think makes a lot of sense. The first thing
Speaker 2: Elaine says they should do is file aggrievance with the
Speaker 2: shop Steward. But no one can remember who it was.
Speaker 2: How could they forget?
Speaker 1: How dare they ben Gerretzky. They don't even mention ben Gerretzky.
Speaker 1: That's what's the fucked up part here. They met, they
Speaker 1: go through a couple of names, and I don't ben
Speaker 1: Gerretzky e than once. And ben Gerretzky, as far as
Speaker 1: I know, is still the shop Steward.
Speaker 2: He's dead, but he's still the shop Steward. But more
Speaker 2: to the point was he was referenced in at least
Speaker 2: two separate episodes if I recall, so it's not like
Speaker 2: I mean, this was a gimmick that had legs that
Speaker 2: they continued through a couple of episodes. I don't know
Speaker 2: why they had mentioned ben Gerretzky. It was a really
Speaker 2: clearly it was a lost a missed opportunity, in my opinion.
Speaker 2: They go through a couple of names, neither of which
Speaker 2: are ben Gerretzky. So they need to elect a new
Speaker 2: shop Steward. Tony nominates himself to Bobby's skeptical response.
Speaker 1: Because ordinarily I don't agree with you with your assessment
Speaker 1: of Banta, but something about this episode really rubbed me
Speaker 1: the wrong way about that prick And as soon as
Speaker 1: he like no, First of all, he came in angry
Speaker 1: and he was going to punch out one of the mechanics,
Speaker 1: as if that was going to help anybody, and it
Speaker 1: was potentially going to be lacked. And then now on
Speaker 1: top of that, with this dopey grin on his face,
Speaker 1: he's like, well, you should make me the boss around.
Speaker 1: Get out of here, Bant to sit down. You're punching.
Speaker 2: The whole point of him being the shop Steward is
Speaker 2: that he's because he insists that he's the one who's
Speaker 2: been wronged. He had the accident with his cab. He's
Speaker 2: mad as hell and he wants it. He wants to
Speaker 2: be the one to take it to the boss. Alex
Speaker 2: admires his gumption and seconds his nomination, which naturally passes
Speaker 2: unanimously among the rest of the cabs. Tony marches over
Speaker 2: to louis cage. He's full of piss and vinegar, but
Speaker 2: then Louis just proceeds to butter him up. He invites
Speaker 2: him into the cage, he applies him with compliments, and
Speaker 2: he gives him an invitation to this place called a
Speaker 2: Tidepool restaurant, which we're going to see more of later on.
Speaker 2: And before Tony knows it, he's walking out of the cage,
Speaker 2: having done nothing to actually resolve the issue with the
Speaker 2: broken cabs, with the busted cabs, so he's been rendered ineffectual. Immediately,
Speaker 2: he sold out for a dinner, Louie dances all over him.
Speaker 1: Tony Banta sold out his union brothers and sisters for
Speaker 1: a potential meal.
Speaker 2: Now it's either a credit to Louie's powers of persuasion or.
Speaker 1: To Tony is not smart.
Speaker 2: No, and this is proof positive. Right here, Elaine realizes
Speaker 2: that Tony's been Bamboozled by Louie, she calls for a
Speaker 2: recall election, which is unanimously agreed upon by the rest
Speaker 2: of the garage. Out of frustration, Bobby still insists that
Speaker 2: they walk until the cabs are fixed. Elaine calls everybody back,
Speaker 2: pointing out that walking is only going to give the
Speaker 2: company the excuse they need to fire everybody.
Speaker 1: I love Elaine in this episode.
Speaker 2: She's fiery. She really seems to have a clear idea
Speaker 2: of how to get this thing moving and to.
Speaker 1: Drop her channels, like, yeah, you all want to walk,
Speaker 1: and we're gonna, but we're gonna do it right.
Speaker 2: Even Riager, I would expect to be more logical. You
Speaker 2: would figure that he, being the one that everybody goes
Speaker 2: to for their problems, would be the natural person to
Speaker 2: spearhead this whole effort. But he's more than happier.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he clearly doesn't want it that. He's just so like, yeah,
Speaker 1: give it to Tony. Why would anyone ever say yes,
Speaker 1: give it to Tony. As we're gonna see, Alex Rigor
Speaker 1: is in a real fallow point in his life. He's
Speaker 1: feeling kind of low and unchallenged as a human. So
Speaker 1: I don't think he wants to take up the mantle
Speaker 1: of the hero of the Sunshine Cab Company pretty much.
Speaker 2: But I do like you're kind of implying a little
Speaker 2: bit that Alex's doesn't figure particularly well in this episode.
Speaker 2: But I'm going to actually challenge that. We'll talk about
Speaker 2: it momentarily. But I like Alex in this episode despite
Speaker 2: the fact that.
Speaker 1: He's no, you misunderstand me. I'm projecting into the future
Speaker 1: where he reinvigorates himself. I'm saying right now, at this
Speaker 1: point in his life, he's like, I'm not feeling great
Speaker 1: about myself, and the last thing I need is to
Speaker 1: have to fucking deal with either Louis de Palma or
Speaker 1: the bigger boss for these idiots who are all going
Speaker 1: to be screaming and crying.
Speaker 2: Fuck this sure not that makes perfect sense to me.
Speaker 2: Elaine's fiery declaration motivates Bobby to nominate her for Shop Stewart,
Speaker 2: which at first she refuses like anyone logically would, because
Speaker 2: she doesn't, you know, she wants to help affect some change,
Speaker 2: but she doesn't want it anymore then Alex wants it.
Speaker 2: She's just like, I don't really want But eventually Elaine
Speaker 2: relents and She accepts their nomination, and her first action
Speaker 2: as acting shop Stewart is she doesn't want to talk
Speaker 2: to Louie. She wants to go straight upstairs to the boss,
Speaker 2: mister McKenzie. She comes down a few minutes later in
Speaker 2: a bit of a huff. She says that McKenzie didn't
Speaker 2: take her demands seriously, so Elaine's sees no choice but
Speaker 2: to go on STRR, to which they all march out, shouting,
Speaker 2: shut it down, shut it down. Louis watching this happen
Speaker 2: is incredulous. He's he wonders sarcastically, where are they gonna
Speaker 2: find people to drive these cabs? And at that exact
Speaker 2: moment this co incidental.
Speaker 1: Now here's my question to you, asked me before we
Speaker 1: get to this hilarious bit. Was that the first duo
Speaker 1: of writers who came up with this? Or was it
Speaker 1: the actual taxi writers who came up with this? I'm
Speaker 1: going to hope that it's original taxi writer Mark Jacobson
Speaker 1: and Michael Tolkien who contributed this bit of vaudeville fucking
Speaker 1: dio six mock in a bullshit.
Speaker 2: This does seem a little hacky. I do like how
Speaker 2: they follow it up, though, but this initial bit is
Speaker 2: sort of corny. At the moment that Louie is proclaiming,
Speaker 2: where are they gonna find cabbies? This kid walks in
Speaker 2: delivering newspapers. He can't be more than like thirteen or
Speaker 2: fourteen years old, and of course Louis hires him on
Speaker 2: the spot to drive a cab as we fade the
Speaker 2: black and it's silly because it would never that would
Speaker 2: never happen in real life. I mean, he's not going
Speaker 2: to give this kid who probably doesn't even have his
Speaker 2: own license yet.
Speaker 1: A kid wouldn't have walked into the building to sell newspapers.
Speaker 1: What the fuck was that? Get your paper, mister.
Speaker 2: We fade back in on an awesome aerial shot of
Speaker 2: New York, including the World Trade Center. It's really really cool.
Speaker 2: We don't see aerial shots like this very often in
Speaker 2: taxi Usually it's ground level stuff. This was pretty cool.
Speaker 2: We cut into the garage where Louis is handing out
Speaker 2: assignments to the five or so random guys milling about.
Speaker 2: Now in addition to the paper boy that we just
Speaker 2: talked about from earlier. My favorite part in this is
Speaker 2: that every other cabby is this elderly guy like there's
Speaker 2: there's five, there's four or five like old men just
Speaker 2: sitting around waiting for their assignments. One of them he calls,
Speaker 2: and the guy it's almost if he's not even acting.
Speaker 2: He just has this far away look in his eyes,
Speaker 2: like he doesn't even know where he is or what
Speaker 2: he's doing.
Speaker 1: And Louie, all I kept thinking about that particular actor
Speaker 1: was I'll bet that guy got together in nineteen forty
Speaker 1: five with the veterans returning home and they all talked
Speaker 1: about what it was like to fight in the World War,
Speaker 1: because he no doubt fought in the first.
Speaker 2: WAW one for sure. It's just something about the display
Speaker 2: of all these old men who are showing no emotion.
Speaker 2: They all look maybe even a little bit embittered, tired.
Speaker 1: They're a cast of a Tom Waits song.
Speaker 2: Perfect. This is the crew that Louie has hired as
Speaker 2: scabs while the cabbys are picketing. That I thought it
Speaker 2: was great. It's a great rebound from the corny joke
Speaker 2: about the kids selling newspapers. I thought that was I
Speaker 2: thought it was awesome. After sending these old guys out
Speaker 2: to drive the cabs, Bobby hustles in to get coffee
Speaker 2: for the rest of the picketers. This is where he
Speaker 2: comes in, rubbing his hands furiously cold. So he comes in,
Speaker 2: he gets coffee for the rest of the picketers. Of course,
Speaker 2: like I said, his body language is indicating how cold
Speaker 2: it is outside. Louis proceeds to taunt Bobby with an
Speaker 2: acting related message that Louis failed for this one.
Speaker 1: This is rough. Actually, I gotta say. This is mean.
Speaker 1: I mean, even if it's not real, it's really mean.
Speaker 2: What happens is that he's oh. He says, oh, Bobby,
Speaker 2: I got a message for you from your agent, you know,
Speaker 2: such and such wants you to come in to read
Speaker 2: for this movie. And Bobby's like what, really? What when?
Speaker 2: And Louis says it was yesterday. I didn't give you
Speaker 2: the message because you were pickinning. So of course Bobby
Speaker 2: is completely crestfallen about this. It's really cruel on Louis
Speaker 2: park to your point, even if it's not genuine, which
Speaker 2: I think it is genuine. At this point, the rest
Speaker 2: of the Cabby's come. They've got their picketing signs with them,
Speaker 2: with the news that the union has scheduled a hearing
Speaker 2: to discuss their grievances. Which is a step in the
Speaker 2: right direction. This is a good development. But Louie is
Speaker 2: unmoved by this threat of hearing. He says, while they
Speaker 2: were picketing, Louis has been falsifying the garage's cab repair
Speaker 2: records to make it seem like they were spending a
Speaker 2: lot more on maintenance. He figures this will buy the
Speaker 2: company time to bring the cabs back up to proper
Speaker 2: working condition. He's cooking the books, basically, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: And I would say at that point, realistically, HP, I
Speaker 1: would say, okay, well, me and the twelve other people
Speaker 1: standing here all heard that. We'll see you at the meeting.
Speaker 1: We all witnessed, and each of these people will attest
Speaker 1: to that. He said, we're cooking the books so that
Speaker 1: we can buy ourselves enough time to get the cabs.
Speaker 1: So I'm suggesting, today, your honor, we go look at
Speaker 1: the cabs. In fact, I have photographs of the cabs
Speaker 1: here they are.
Speaker 2: You would figure it does seem rather odd that they
Speaker 2: all just should have shrug off the threat. They're completely
Speaker 2: unmoved by it, except for Alex. They all go back
Speaker 2: to picketing, and Alex is in there with Louis and
Speaker 2: Alex starts to play on Louie's religious case.
Speaker 1: Yeah, now, this is this is good because this is
Speaker 1: actually a callback to an earlier episode when you think
Speaker 1: about it, when right.
Speaker 2: He had the operation, Yeah yeah, when Louis had that
Speaker 2: operation and he was afraid for his soul, he made
Speaker 2: a vow that he was going to be a better
Speaker 2: person until Bobby pushes him too far.
Speaker 1: Alex remembers this right, and Alex told him it was
Speaker 1: okay to be himself, that God wanted him to be
Speaker 1: that way, so he knows there's a god angle. I
Speaker 1: love this. This is actually a good writing. I'm going
Speaker 1: to guess that it's the fucking taxi writers came up
Speaker 1: with this, bitch.
Speaker 2: Totally consistent with that earlier episode. Alex points out to
Speaker 2: Louis that he's going to be under oath when he's
Speaker 2: called upon to testify in this hearing, So, in other words,
Speaker 2: Louis is going to be swearing to God that he'll
Speaker 2: be telling the truth, and then Louis will proceed to lie.
Speaker 2: This catches Louise's attention in a way that the Cabby's
Speaker 2: hen't up till now, but he plays it off like, ah,
Speaker 2: this is just business. That's you know, that's fine. But
Speaker 2: Alex again cautions Louis against eternal damnation. He uses those
Speaker 2: exact words, and that's what finally gets through to Louis.
Speaker 2: Alex further goes on to say that someday a cabby
Speaker 2: is going to get in an accident, a bad one,
Speaker 2: and get hurt, maybe even die, and that's going to
Speaker 2: be Louie's fault. Alex recommends that Louis start negotiating with
Speaker 2: the shop Steward, and a chastened Louis finally agrees to
Speaker 2: talk to Elaine. Elaine comes in to talk to Louis
Speaker 2: and he asks her what her demands are, and it's
Speaker 2: to her credit, she's got a whole litany of things
Speaker 2: all worked out. She wants all the cabs that were
Speaker 2: in service for more than five years to be retired.
Speaker 2: He's actually kind of extreme, father alone, I.
Speaker 1: Think, But yeah, I think so too. I think, you know,
Speaker 1: I think it should be a case by case basis. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, for years, Stewart should be completely welcome to
Speaker 1: make the decision whether or not the car is actually
Speaker 1: irreparable or not.
Speaker 2: It should have been, like you know, they will be
Speaker 2: evaluated on a case by case basis, like you said,
Speaker 2: and if they're deemed too old or too far gone,
Speaker 2: they should be retired. But she says older than five
Speaker 2: years dumb them. She wants new breaks on all the cabs.
Speaker 2: She wants the maintenance budget increased by ten percent, and
Speaker 2: at least one new mechanic per shift. Louis agrees to
Speaker 2: all of this, provided that she honor a few demands
Speaker 2: of his own. And this is where Elaine's delight starts
Speaker 2: to curdle once she realizes what's about to happen. And
Speaker 2: do you remember what his initial demand is? Father Malone?
Speaker 2: His first demand? His first demand is he wants to
Speaker 2: spend four days with a Lane in a secluded mountain cabin.
Speaker 1: Who doesn't come on.
Speaker 2: This is Louise's way of compromising. He's his way out
Speaker 2: of this situation. So of course she starts to walk out.
Speaker 2: She says, this is ridiculous. She walks out. Louise starts
Speaker 2: paring down his demand. He says, all right, one weekend,
Speaker 2: one date, one date to save Cabby's lives, and that
Speaker 2: causes Elane to stop and turn around, and she says
Speaker 2: to him, you'll give in to all the demands for
Speaker 2: one date. That's right, he says, one date, and then
Speaker 2: they proceed to haggle over the terms of the date.
Speaker 2: It's going to be a lunch, No, it's going to
Speaker 2: be a dinner. No, it's going to be during the day. No,
Speaker 2: it's going to be at night, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 2: And he even insists that she call him Stallion while
Speaker 2: an earshot of other people. That's one of his stipulations.
Speaker 2: At least twice. A frustrated Elane asks is there any
Speaker 2: other way that we can settle this? But Louis says,
Speaker 2: you can either agree to the date or he and
Speaker 2: his cooked books will make mince meat out of their
Speaker 2: case at the hearing.
Speaker 1: At that point, I would say, fuck you, we'll see
Speaker 1: you in court. I think I would probably have said
Speaker 1: yes until he brought up the cookbooks thing. Then I
Speaker 1: would say, well, you know what, we're going to pool
Speaker 1: our money and we're going to get a forensic accountant
Speaker 1: in here, and we'll see how those books look.
Speaker 2: He does seem very sure of himself, and it is
Speaker 2: curious that she doesn't just call his bluff. But she doesn't.
Speaker 1: I'm sure we have receipts for all of these parts
Speaker 1: that you've been buying, the most parts of any cramp
Speaker 1: company in all of New York, that you're spending on
Speaker 1: repairing these caps, right, Louis.
Speaker 2: She wants this to be over with quickly, and I
Speaker 2: think she's struggling with the notion that, look, she doesn't
Speaker 2: want to go out on a date with Louis under
Speaker 2: any circumstance. But if this is what it's going to
Speaker 2: take to save Cabby's lives, to get them back to work,
Speaker 2: to rectify this whole situation, sadly she doesn't see another
Speaker 2: way around this. She kind of.
Speaker 1: Listen to me, fella, I'm not questioning the quandary that
Speaker 1: they're putting a Lane in or her reaction to it.
Speaker 1: I'm saying the mcguffin of the cookbooks is stupid, and
Speaker 1: I wish they'd quit referring to it.
Speaker 2: After a lot of internal deliberation, Elane reluctantly agrees, and
Speaker 2: this sends Louis into ecstatic hopping and whooping. He is
Speaker 2: jumping for joy about the idea of going out on
Speaker 2: a date with a Lane and she but she yells
Speaker 2: at him, and I actually, I there was something in
Speaker 2: what she says that really got through to me, and
Speaker 2: it made me really feel sorry for Elane and really
Speaker 2: feel hatred towards Louis even more than I should, she says.
Speaker 2: She points out to Louis that he's taking advantage of
Speaker 2: something decent in her by satisfying and indecent need of
Speaker 2: his own. That to me, says it all. She's trying
Speaker 2: to do this for the betterment of the other cavey,
Speaker 2: and he's doing this just because he you know, he
Speaker 2: wants to go out on a date with Elaine and
Speaker 2: whatever that might entail. That just makes him seem like
Speaker 2: such a monster.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, this whole fucking scenario is terrible for playing
Speaker 1: it for laughs, but it is a huge fucking problem.
Speaker 2: We shouldn't have to say this, but obviously we're not
Speaker 2: condoning what Louis has coerced Elaine into doing. It's awful
Speaker 2: and it shouldn't happen. But I mean, this is you know,
Speaker 2: it was a different time. This is the show. This
Speaker 2: is the plot that they've cooked up. She lays all
Speaker 2: this on him and says, well, how does this make
Speaker 2: you feel to be doing this to me? And I
Speaker 2: think his response is something like it makes me horny?
Speaker 2: Is all get out, and that's what we fade out.
Speaker 2: That's Part one is concluded of this two part episode.
Speaker 1: That's the title of my autobiography.
Speaker 2: Horny as All get Out. Part two commences with a
Speaker 2: tracking shot of the empty garage Cabby's file in as
Speaker 2: a jubilant Louis welcomes them back while they're coming back
Speaker 2: to work. And Louis is welcoming them in, he's whistling,
Speaker 2: he's bopping around the garage. He seems thrilled. Bobby again
Speaker 2: cautions Louis against premature celebration, but Louis says there's no
Speaker 2: chance that negotiations fall through. He's not going to give
Speaker 2: him any details on the concessions, but he feels pretty
Speaker 2: confident that things are going to work out. I like
Speaker 2: a suspicious riager. I love a suspicious riager.
Speaker 1: And you know how you know he's suspicious because he's
Speaker 1: got on his suspicious jacket. Here, this weirdo corduroy thing
Speaker 1: with this giant fucking batman collar and this belf that
Speaker 1: could choke a fucking rhinoceros.
Speaker 2: We've seen this in a couple of episodes, We'll see
Speaker 2: it in a few more. There's something that's nagging at
Speaker 2: Riger's perception of what's going on. There's something nagging at
Speaker 2: his mind. He's not sure what it is. So something
Speaker 2: about Louise's unrestrained happiness that doesn't sit well with Riager.
Speaker 1: I say, Bobby, have you noticed a miss with mister
Speaker 1: de Palmer? Today seems unusually jubilant.
Speaker 2: As Alex points out, yesterday they were at an impasse,
Speaker 2: and today, like magic, everything has been settled. But Bobby
Speaker 2: says they should trust Elane. Elaine said it would all
Speaker 2: work out. But curiously, Elaine is missing. Tony says she
Speaker 2: was taking the night off to rest.
Speaker 1: Well. No more to the point, Rieger says, where's Elaine?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: I agree with you, Detective Riger. Here is fucking great.
Speaker 2: I love it. We see it in a few episodes.
Speaker 2: It is Detective Riager. It's like something's not right.
Speaker 1: When Riger is in a suspicious mood, he puts on
Speaker 1: this jacket.
Speaker 2: So he's like Sherlock Holmes.
Speaker 1: He has to put the deer stalker cap on to
Speaker 1: exactly to.
Speaker 2: Solve the crime. Bobby also raises some concerns that Elaine
Speaker 2: appeared to be more stressed than.
Speaker 1: Usual, something Bobby would never notice. By the way.
Speaker 2: Perception is not one of Bobby's best qualities. We've seen
Speaker 2: this unless it has to do with a woman.
Speaker 1: Here's what he would have said.
Speaker 2: She looked terrible, and that would have been it. It
Speaker 2: wouldn't have been.
Speaker 1: Oh, momsst something must be on her mind.
Speaker 2: Hmmm, yeah, like the best kind of detective. Something doesn't
Speaker 2: sit well with a riager. And he's picking up on
Speaker 2: all these little clues.
Speaker 1: Subtle things like Louis saying, I don't know why I'm
Speaker 1: putting a shirt on. It's just gonna be ripped off.
Speaker 1: I mean in an hour or two.
Speaker 2: Louie comes out of the bathroom, He's got several bottles
Speaker 2: of aftershave and asks them to give him their opinion
Speaker 2: of the best one. It's a silly joke, but he
Speaker 2: singles out Alex's honker is being the best suited to
Speaker 2: the task. But that, combined with Hersch's wordless expression, he
Speaker 2: just looks at Louie when Louie lays this big nose
Speaker 2: insult on him. He just looks at Louie like he
Speaker 2: doesn't even know what to say to respond. It is
Speaker 2: so fucking funny. I thought it was great.
Speaker 1: You're correct. The expression. It's so good. It's like you
Speaker 1: don't even know to be offended, like when somebody's like
Speaker 1: so fucking rude, and it's like just like I can't
Speaker 1: even really be hurt right now because I'm just shocked.
Speaker 2: It's the best. It's the best reaction of the whole episode.
Speaker 2: Speaking of which, Father Malone, do you remember which cologne
Speaker 2: Alex chose for Louis to wear?
Speaker 1: I know it was the first one, but I couldn't
Speaker 1: hear what he called it.
Speaker 2: They make reference a couple times in the episode. It's
Speaker 2: the aftershave is called cruel cavalier.
Speaker 1: Cruel cavalier.
Speaker 2: It's sort of like sex panther from Anchorman.
Speaker 1: I guess right, Cruel cavalier.
Speaker 2: It's two adjectives, cruel and cavalier.
Speaker 1: Yes, like what a horrible thing the broadcast. Here I come, ladies,
Speaker 1: I'm both cruel and cavalier. I'm a catch all.
Speaker 2: The while, riger is still bothered by Elaine's absence. Something
Speaker 2: is just not adding up for him, like like like
Speaker 2: Lieutenant Colombo, he just can't let this thing go. He's
Speaker 2: working these clues like a dog, you know, nibbling at
Speaker 2: a bone.
Speaker 1: That collar will not let his mind rest.
Speaker 2: Louis's big show of getting prepared for a big night,
Speaker 2: including he's removing pins from a brand new dress shirt.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, okay, hb you remember dress shirts with
Speaker 1: all the pins? Why why were so many pins? Are
Speaker 1: there pins anymore? There aren't. They're just like little plastic things.
Speaker 2: No, there's still pins. Some of them are Some of
Speaker 2: them have like the alligators.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't buy fancy shirts.
Speaker 2: Occasionally I have to go get a new dress shirt,
Speaker 2: and they do. They have a million of those little
Speaker 2: pins that you have to like take out. Yeah, it's weird.
Speaker 1: What's the purpose at this point? We know it's gonna
Speaker 1: be wrinkled. We're good with it. Just give us the fabric, like,
Speaker 1: I don't need twenty seven potential punctures.
Speaker 2: This is all very puzzling to riger and he tells
Speaker 2: the rest of the cabvies that he's gonna go check
Speaker 2: on a lane and we cut to just a terrible
Speaker 2: nighttime b roll of what's supposed to be the exterior
Speaker 2: of her.
Speaker 1: Apartment at night or is this the bee roll with
Speaker 1: all the flash in the star Stroby things or that in.
Speaker 2: The no no, no, no, no no. This is just no, no,
Speaker 2: we'll get to that one.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: This is just a pan up to her apartment at night,
Speaker 2: but it's so dark you can't make anything out. It's terrible.
Speaker 1: You know what, every time they give us Elaine's apartment
Speaker 1: or anyone's domicile, they always keep it particularly vague looking
Speaker 1: in murky, and I think that's because they probably learned
Speaker 1: their lesson with Marios in the first season that sometimes
Speaker 1: the bee really ain't gonna match.
Speaker 2: We cut inside to Elaine's apartment and she's despondent, and
Speaker 2: she's laying on the couch in a pink robe, and
Speaker 2: she's guzzling something straight from a blender pitcher. It's like
Speaker 2: this giant pitcher.
Speaker 1: This is great. So she's got a bottle. It's whiskey,
Speaker 1: it's scotch. I think a bottle half full on the table.
Speaker 1: The other half of the bottle is just sitting at
Speaker 1: the bottom of this picture without anything else. There's no ice,
Speaker 1: there's no mixer, no nothing, which means that she could
Speaker 1: not find a glass big enough for her appetite to
Speaker 1: be drunk, so she used a blender. Fucking picture.
Speaker 2: The doorbell rings and she shouts something very desperate to
Speaker 2: the person behind him, and she's really really freaked out
Speaker 2: about the state. She doesn't want to go in the state.
Speaker 2: So Riager comes in. Like Poirot, he seems to have
Speaker 2: put two and two together. He now has figured out
Speaker 2: that Elaine and Louis are going on on this date,
Speaker 2: probably to settle the grievance with the cabs and all
Speaker 2: that business. Elaine tries to make a show of lying
Speaker 2: about her plants, but.
Speaker 1: Eventually Joe and he's a doctor and he really likes me,
Speaker 1: and he won't hurt me.
Speaker 2: He won't hurt me. Really good in this Mary Lehnna's
Speaker 2: really really good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's spectacular all around.
Speaker 2: Alex figures it out, and meanwhile Elaine now starts chugging
Speaker 2: from a wine bottle. She's gotten up from the couch
Speaker 2: and she's gotten a wine bottle on the table and
Speaker 2: she's drinking from that.
Speaker 1: It's gonna have a rough morning.
Speaker 2: Riga's trying to make some jokes about the situation, but
Speaker 2: Elaine is very very worked up about this whole deal.
Speaker 2: A knock on the door causes her to scream at
Speaker 2: the top of her voice, hide me, and it's pretty good.
Speaker 2: She goes off to get ready while Riger lets Louis
Speaker 2: in and the door opens.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, no, no, no, no, no. Before the
Speaker 1: door opens, he's back there. He's like, open the door
Speaker 1: and feast your eyes on one hundred and fifty pounds
Speaker 1: of blah blah blah, and Rigo smiles like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: he doesn't know him back here. This is gonna be
Speaker 1: fucking great. Jud Hurst is spectacular in this scene.
Speaker 2: He opens the door and Louis is there, and he's
Speaker 2: resplendent in a three piece suit. He has a long jacket,
Speaker 2: he has a fedora. He's wearing an outfit that would
Speaker 2: make Don corleone jealous. He looks a yeah, he looks
Speaker 2: like Capone. He does looks like al Capone. Riger puts
Speaker 2: on his patented kindly grandparent routine. Come on in, let
Speaker 2: me our Elaine is getting ready. Let's talk to young man.
Speaker 1: And he comes in and with a dispatcher.
Speaker 2: He's giving Louis the business comedically about what's happening, and
Speaker 2: Louis assures Riager that Elaine's going to have a great time.
Speaker 2: He's been out all morning. Louis has been greasing.
Speaker 1: Palms, yeahs and palms. The faith.
Speaker 2: It's great. He's been spreading money around all morning to
Speaker 2: assure them of a fun evening. Finally, Elaine comes out
Speaker 2: of the bedroom in the back and she is truly
Speaker 2: She's resplendent in a different way. Her hair is pulled
Speaker 2: back in the most unsexy bun that you could imagine.
Speaker 2: She's wearing several layers of bulky clothes under.
Speaker 1: The purpose it's all gross house coats.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's there's not there's no skin or anything showing.
Speaker 2: She looks like completely unsexy, shapeless and miserable.
Speaker 1: And on top of it, she's wearing this puffy, floor length,
Speaker 1: fucking winter coat that weirdos wear. You would there was
Speaker 1: all you would always see one of these weirdos. It's
Speaker 1: like this. It's the most people would know, the George
Speaker 1: Costanza Gore Tex kind of thing. It's kind of like that,
Speaker 1: a little more form fitting, but very disturbing as a
Speaker 1: piece of outerwear.
Speaker 2: And it always when you see somebody wearing this, it
Speaker 2: never looks clean. It always looks like it's just sort
Speaker 2: of dingy and grimy, and if you look closely, like
Speaker 2: they've been wiping their nose on their sleeve, it just
Speaker 2: it looks disgusting. We've all seen people wearing.
Speaker 1: The salt stains along the bottom of it from the snow,
Speaker 1: from the side.
Speaker 2: Yeah for walking in the snow. Oh yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: Rieger goes to leave, but not before cautioning Louie. He
Speaker 2: goes right up to Louis and he says, listen, Louis,
Speaker 2: you try anything with a lane and I'll kill you.
Speaker 2: He doesn't mince words. He says, I will kill you,
Speaker 2: to which Louie replies, it'll take the coroner a week
Speaker 2: to pry the smile off my face.
Speaker 1: Riager, Okay, HP, let's talk about this episode for a second.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's talk about the implication of this episode.
Speaker 1: Let's take a step back for a second, because the
Speaker 1: way I see it, or the way they've set it up,
Speaker 1: is that this is a date, right. This is not
Speaker 1: a sensual favorite thing. Do you think that the writers
Speaker 1: are using the date as a metaphor for sex or
Speaker 1: is this actually what we're given He's saying, I at
Speaker 1: least want was Louis looking for the chance to woo
Speaker 1: her in a traditional way, and this was his only
Speaker 1: way of doing it, knowing he couldn't have sex with her.
Speaker 2: Putting aside the fact that Louis a couple of times
Speaker 2: does do a little bit of grab ass and tries
Speaker 2: to kiss her at one point. Both put aside that
Speaker 2: for a minute, Yeah, I do believe that he is
Speaker 2: genuinely trying to show her a good time. He's been
Speaker 2: working very hard to arrange the date in such a
Speaker 2: way that there'll be no rough spots, that everybody's going
Speaker 2: to have a good time, that everyone is going to
Speaker 2: be happy, They're going to go to this restaurant and
Speaker 2: have a lot of fun. I think, from what I'm
Speaker 2: basing my impression on, I think he just wanted to
Speaker 2: show her a good time in the sense that she
Speaker 2: was going to enjoy herself.
Speaker 1: Right, Okay, so you think as well as I do,
Speaker 1: because I believe this that this is all the date
Speaker 1: is the thing. There was not an implication that she
Speaker 1: had to have sex with him at all. Right, there's
Speaker 1: no coersion towards sexual congress between the two of them, agree,
Speaker 1: I agree now, Having said that Elaine is acting like
Speaker 1: a fucking lunatic.
Speaker 2: And they do call her to task on that a
Speaker 2: little bit, as we'll see during the course.
Speaker 1: They do sort of by the end. But if this
Speaker 1: were a situation where she was gonna have to have
Speaker 1: sex with him. Then seeing her laying on the couch
Speaker 1: with the half empty bottle and the pitcher full of booze,
Speaker 1: like that makes sense to me. Hpo, Are you a
Speaker 1: fan of the television series mad Men by any chance?
Speaker 2: I'd never watched it, to be honest.
Speaker 1: At one point that the lead characters have broken off
Speaker 1: and formed their own ad agency, and they have a
Speaker 1: chance to get Jaguar, which would put them nationally on
Speaker 1: the map, but they first have to square it with
Speaker 1: all the Jaguar dealers. If the Jaguar dealers aren't going
Speaker 1: to play ball with their agency, then they're dead in
Speaker 1: the water. And the main guy who controls all of
Speaker 1: the Jaguar dealerships wants one thing, and that's to have
Speaker 1: sex with Joan Holloway played by Christina Hendricks, another statuesque redhead, right,
Speaker 1: And so she does it on the show. She has
Speaker 1: sex with the guy with the stipulation that she becomes
Speaker 1: a partner in the ad agency. So I'm not saying
Speaker 1: that anything like that's going on on this show, but
Speaker 1: that was fully on my mind while I'm rewatching Taxi
Speaker 1: now because of the way that Elene is acting, I
Speaker 1: assumed that there was some other ulterior motive going on
Speaker 1: instead of what was effectively just Louie trying to show
Speaker 1: her the best time possible so that she would want
Speaker 1: to have sex with her.
Speaker 2: Well, maybe it's a case where she couldn't necessarily give
Speaker 2: Louie the benefit of the doubt, because for all she knows,
Speaker 2: he just wants to have sex with her, and he's
Speaker 2: gonna put her in a position where she's going to
Speaker 2: have to do something she doesn't want to do. But
Speaker 2: we have the benefit of having seen Louis in a
Speaker 2: lot of other different scenarios that Elayne isn't privy to,
Speaker 2: so we know that there is a soul underneath the
Speaker 2: monster to a degree. But I guess if she's taking
Speaker 2: Louie at face value for what she knows about him,
Speaker 2: maybe she is worried that he's going to really take
Speaker 2: advantage of her. But I just thought that still doesn't
Speaker 2: make any sense because she knows she has support from
Speaker 2: Alex and all the other Cavies. It's not like he's
Speaker 2: going to get away with anything if he tries to
Speaker 2: do something with her. She's very over the top. After
Speaker 2: Alex leaves. Just as they're about to leave, she asks
Speaker 2: to call her kids or at a babysitter.
Speaker 1: Okay, this is where this is what I'm talking about,
Speaker 1: Exactly like I thought she was being over the top,
Speaker 1: just like I don't want to go on a date
Speaker 1: with Louie, but.
Speaker 2: This I Yeah. She calls her kids and she is
Speaker 2: literally in tears, begging her kids on the phone to
Speaker 2: remember her their mother as she was, despite what they
Speaker 2: might hear about her later, as.
Speaker 1: If she want to go have sex with this horrible
Speaker 1: person and words gonna get out.
Speaker 2: Right or it's like she's being held hostage and she
Speaker 2: is so desperate and worried about her what's going to
Speaker 2: happen to her that she has to talk to a
Speaker 2: loved one or what have you. Having said that, as
Speaker 2: they're walking out, Louis does grab her ass. So he's
Speaker 2: not totally blameless in this whole thing.
Speaker 1: I mean, he's still he grabbed a handful of foamy,
Speaker 1: fucking like he got nothing. She couldn't feel a thing, bohm.
Speaker 1: Basically he copped a styrofoam feel.
Speaker 2: We fade out and we fade back in. It's the
Speaker 2: interior of a Polynesian restaurant. They're in the they're in
Speaker 2: the tidepool at the place that Louis mentioned in the
Speaker 2: first part of this episode. The notion of a Polynesian restaurant.
Speaker 2: I think this is like an East Coast thing.
Speaker 1: As someone who's been living on the West Coast for
Speaker 1: the past twenty five years, let me tell you something.
Speaker 1: They don't know Polynesian here.
Speaker 2: When you think of a Polynesian restaurant.
Speaker 1: Kowloon, knowing Kowlaloon exactly. Kowloon Restaurant for those of you
Speaker 1: who don't live in Massachusetts on Route one in Sagas.
Speaker 1: It is a massive Polynesian restaurant.
Speaker 2: It's a landmark. It may be the largest Asian restaurant
Speaker 2: on the East Coast.
Speaker 1: I go every single time I go to Boston, I
Speaker 1: will go to kal.
Speaker 2: Though they've been around since nineteen fifty they've been there,
Speaker 2: what is that almost seventy five years they've they've been
Speaker 2: serving the good folks of Saugus.
Speaker 1: It's a land I know in there, there's a volcano.
Speaker 2: There's a volcano. Some of the tables are actually situated
Speaker 2: on a mock boat that you can eat on a ship.
Speaker 1: The SS Kaloon and there's water like you got to
Speaker 1: step off the dock to get onto that fucking boat man.
Speaker 1: Fucking fountains everywhere, the Polynesian music everywhere. Oh, it was
Speaker 1: so gorgeous. There's a dance club they at it like.
Speaker 1: You go in there now it's like hip hop. They
Speaker 1: might seat you in their new sort of Thai cafe
Speaker 1: with all these shiny new booths. Get the fuck out here.
Speaker 1: Put me in the dark under a thatched roof. Motherfucker.
Speaker 2: It is like you walk in there and it's like
Speaker 2: going back in time. But it's Polynesian. You can't to
Speaker 2: call it a Chinese restaurant is not entirely accurate.
Speaker 1: Not accurate at all. No, this is at GI's coming
Speaker 1: home from the war, having spent some time in Hawaii
Speaker 1: and the South Pacific, cobbled together what they thought those
Speaker 1: people were eating. So it's not the little spare ribs
Speaker 1: and taraiaki strips and lobster sauce which contains no lobster
Speaker 1: at all.
Speaker 2: I could never figure that out as a kid. It's
Speaker 2: called lobster sauce, but it has sausage in it.
Speaker 1: It's evidently meant to be put on lobster, which sounds
Speaker 1: even less appetizing when you know what lobster sauce tastes like.
Speaker 1: By the way, lobstau is one of my favorite things
Speaker 1: in the fucking world to eat. But I can't imagine
Speaker 1: it going on lobster And I don't know why we
Speaker 1: continue to call it that.
Speaker 2: Folks who have seen the Brady Bunch episode about in
Speaker 2: Hawaii with the taboo, the tiki that Greg has and
Speaker 2: it costs all these problems the tiki. There is a
Speaker 2: giant version of the tiki on the front facade of
Speaker 2: Kowloon as you walk in. That's the decor. It isn't
Speaker 2: your typical Chinese restaurant decor. It's more like Blue Hawaii.
Speaker 2: It's Polynesian. It's not the same type of thing. But anyway,
Speaker 2: that's what I kept thinking of when I'm seeing them
Speaker 2: walk in, Elane and Louis walking into the tide Pool,
Speaker 2: because I would call the tide Pool a Polynesian restaurant
Speaker 2: as opposed to a strictly Chinese type of restaurant.
Speaker 1: Do you agree it's a tiki place? Is what it is.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's what you would just call it. Now,
Speaker 1: that's the sort of blanket term these days. But tiki
Speaker 1: bars are effectively Polynesian lounges.
Speaker 2: That's a good point. That's a good point. That's what
Speaker 2: the tide Pool is.
Speaker 1: They cut in central chairs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, everything is bamboo and wicker, and there's Polynesian masks
Speaker 2: and decorations all around this. Uh, this place, the tide Pool,
Speaker 2: and it looks I mean, honestly, again, it's another feather
Speaker 2: in the cap for the decorating department because it looked
Speaker 2: like a lot of places that Father Malone and I
Speaker 2: have both been to when we were going to Politian restaurants.
Speaker 1: It's over lit, I'll say that.
Speaker 2: That's I think that's the only knock. You're absolutely right,
Speaker 2: because most of these are.
Speaker 1: Totally understandable because this is a fucking three camera televisions area,
Speaker 1: so nobody's expecting them to do whatever.
Speaker 2: But yeah, these places are dark. Kowloon is dark.
Speaker 1: Yanky's teeth room is a cave. Baby.
Speaker 2: They take their seats and Louis tries to make some
Speaker 2: small talk with Elane, and this is where we kind
Speaker 2: of get at this idea that he's just trying to
Speaker 2: show her a literal good time, not trying to get
Speaker 2: hanky panky with her. He just wants her to have
Speaker 2: a good time, so he's trying to make small talk,
Speaker 2: but Elaine has a scowl on her face and she's
Speaker 2: not having it, and she's just sitting there anticipating this.
Speaker 2: Louis pulls out some notes to get because he says
Speaker 2: he foresaw the fact that they wouldn't have an easy
Speaker 2: time getting conversations.
Speaker 1: This is silly, but it's funny.
Speaker 2: Though it is funny, it's fun yeah, it does. So
Speaker 2: he pulls out these papers and he says he took
Speaker 2: some notes to get the conversation going, and what they
Speaker 2: amount to is essentially a script that they're going to
Speaker 2: follow to break the ice. I gotta say, it is
Speaker 2: silly and it's not very realistic, but they're timing the comedy.
Speaker 2: Timing between Mary lou Henner and Daniel Vito is perfect.
Speaker 2: And the biggest credit I can give for that is
Speaker 2: you can throughout this whole scene, you can hear that
Speaker 2: famous James Brooks honking laughter through the whole scene because
Speaker 2: it's really really funny. It's great. The climax of this
Speaker 2: script that they're running through is that they're supposed to
Speaker 2: go dancing. Elaine doesn't want to dance, because she says,
Speaker 2: I dance and I don't want to be embarrassed, and
Speaker 2: Louis says that he's been taking tango lessons all morning.
Speaker 2: Then she says something like, well, these guys don't even
Speaker 2: know how to play a tango, and but Louis has
Speaker 2: taught them how to, or he's given the music to
Speaker 2: play a tango. And I think he even says something
Speaker 2: like play savages. And they break into a teaki version
Speaker 2: of a tango and the two of them get out
Speaker 2: on the floor heathens play heathens, and Elaine is there,
Speaker 2: she's in misery, and Louis is still being frisky, and
Speaker 2: they get out on that little dance floor in the
Speaker 2: middle of the restaurant and they perform just a wonderful
Speaker 2: comedic interpretation of a tango, just brilliant physical comedy from
Speaker 2: the two of them.
Speaker 1: And he grabs her ass and she pulls his hand up.
Speaker 1: And then the second time they dance away from us,
Speaker 1: and the dance back. This time he puts her hand
Speaker 1: on his ass and she pulls it up. That was good.
Speaker 2: It's but their timing is so good, and it's just
Speaker 2: great physical comedy. In the middle of this you know
Speaker 2: this mockup of a Polynesian restaurant HPN.
Speaker 1: You're going to catch the name of their waiter.
Speaker 2: So he orders the drinks and he calls the guy Fritz,
Speaker 2: and then the guy brings the drinks to the table,
Speaker 2: the two monsoons, and Louis goes, ah, thank you, Edmundo.
Speaker 2: You didn't notice that.
Speaker 1: No, so he's just calling him whatever, yeah, Jesus whatever.
Speaker 2: But to Louise's earlier point, he's been throwing money around
Speaker 2: all morning and he's probably had this guy drilled to know, Okay,
Speaker 2: when I come in, you bring me two monsoons and
Speaker 2: you call me mister de Palma and all of this
Speaker 2: kind of business. We cut to a b roll of
Speaker 2: Times Square at night, Father Malone. This is where you
Speaker 2: have that classy It's a star filter. They've put on
Speaker 2: the camera lens.
Speaker 1: So who did this? I wonder if they The crews
Speaker 1: come back and they're like watching the b roll with
Speaker 1: James Burrows and he's like, what the fuck is this?
Speaker 1: Like at the start of the season, like looking at
Speaker 1: it all, he's like, was this star fucking business? And
Speaker 1: then they get to this episode it's like, I remember
Speaker 1: that stupid fucking star thing that they did give me
Speaker 1: that piece.
Speaker 2: It kind of works in the context of the scene
Speaker 2: because the idea is that Louis is trying to give
Speaker 2: Elaine this night on the town, this glitzy, fancy night
Speaker 2: on the town. The star filter is kind of put
Speaker 2: me in the mind of that.
Speaker 1: I you know what it did for me though, hp
Speaker 1: It made me wish that that everything that Louis was
Speaker 1: attempting was working. It made me wish that Elaine was
Speaker 1: seeing the other side of him by the end of it,
Speaker 1: right right, not him guilting her, which is what we're
Speaker 1: about to get, but her actually going Like Jesus, he
Speaker 1: really is trying, and he is being charming.
Speaker 2: He does put the full court press on her and
Speaker 2: tries to work this insitivity angle a little too hard,
Speaker 2: but I think that's part of the scene. So we
Speaker 2: cut to Louis and Elaine walking down the hall to
Speaker 2: her apartment. He's in mid joke, he's laughing, he's trying
Speaker 2: to jolly her up a little bit. But now Elaine
Speaker 2: is still wearing this ridiculous outfit and she just is disheveled.
Speaker 2: She looks miserable. She just wants the night to me.
Speaker 1: He apparently has drunk six of those monsoons.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, he says that that was a record yeah.
Speaker 1: Which when initially told about in the previous episode, part one,
Speaker 1: when he was describing it to Tony, he's like, you
Speaker 1: won't be able to see for three days. On one,
Speaker 1: he wants.
Speaker 2: A nightcap from Elaine and she says, no, I just
Speaker 2: want the night to be over and I just want
Speaker 2: to burn my clothes and go to bed. And what
Speaker 2: Louis finally says to her is that he was looking
Speaker 2: forward to this all day. He wanted to take a
Speaker 2: woman out for a night in the town. And he
Speaker 2: does this move where he walks away anticipating that she's
Speaker 2: gonna say wait, but she never says it, and you
Speaker 2: can see it on his face like he's kind of like,
Speaker 2: what this was the point at which she was gonna
Speaker 2: say wait?
Speaker 1: There's no wait, Louis.
Speaker 2: Right, he says that, and then he turns back around
Speaker 2: a few times and he continues on this sort of
Speaker 2: vein of look, I wanted to show you a good time,
Speaker 2: but I guess I've just it's just not I'm not
Speaker 2: good enough for you, or something to that effect. Right,
Speaker 2: So they go back and forth a few more times.
Speaker 2: Finally she does give him the wait wait wait, She
Speaker 2: does admit that she did almost enjoy the dancing, and
Speaker 2: she says ultimately thank you for an okay night, and
Speaker 2: he convinces her to finally give him a little good
Speaker 2: night peck on the cheek, which is a classic Louie movie.
Speaker 2: He's like, I won't move, just I want to sit here.
Speaker 2: I'll close my eyes, just give me a peck. But
Speaker 2: right as she can in to give him a peck
Speaker 2: on the cheek, what does he do? He turns his
Speaker 2: head so that he's kissing rivel on the lips.
Speaker 1: You know how many times do you use that move? HB?
Speaker 2: But I guarantee you didn't do the next move, which
Speaker 2: he does the swivel. He grabs her forcibly, and they
Speaker 2: end up rolling around on the ground where his mouth
Speaker 2: is now pressed up to hers and she's begging to
Speaker 2: be let go, but she can't talk because they're liplocked
Speaker 2: at that point. And this is really where Louis's sensitive
Speaker 2: routine all the air goes out of it right because
Speaker 2: he's been exposed for really being the pig that he is.
Speaker 2: She extricates herself from this rolling around business. She runs
Speaker 2: into her apartment and locks the door, and that's it.
Speaker 1: You're happy what I have gone further. But it hasn't
Speaker 1: been someone scirming away from me. We have rolled around,
Speaker 1: but there was never a moment where it was like,
Speaker 1: get the fuck off of me, help help.
Speaker 2: You were rolling, but it is a consensual rolling around, right,
Speaker 2: whereas in this case there's nothing consensual.
Speaker 1: You know, my sushi house, they just put that on
Speaker 1: the menu. The consensual role a little bland.
Speaker 2: The interesting thing is, so it's awful, right, No one
Speaker 2: should have themselves forced upon by another guy.
Speaker 1: Whatever, especially the penguin, right.
Speaker 2: But I do have to say they do put a
Speaker 2: little bit of a sweet button on the scene, which
Speaker 2: I think kind.
Speaker 1: Of works where bdell, you know, so he.
Speaker 2: Kind of picks himself up and shakes himself off, and
Speaker 2: they he had made a show of this little doggie
Speaker 2: bag that they had from the restaurant that had shrimp puffs,
Speaker 2: and he takes the shrimp puffs and sort of tenderly
Speaker 2: leaves the shrimp puffs in front of her door for
Speaker 2: her to pick up or whatever. And then he leaves,
Speaker 2: which I think is supposed to be him trying to tenderly.
Speaker 1: Give her apologize maybe yeah, yeah, yeah, cocksucker hair at
Speaker 1: the end of the day.
Speaker 2: It's his way of apologizing. I don't know that it works, but.
Speaker 1: No, she shows out of the way in the morning.
Speaker 2: It's well, she's not gonna know that it's there at
Speaker 2: a minimum, and it's gonna be spoiled by the time
Speaker 2: because it's shrimp. You're gonna leave shrimp out all night.
Speaker 1: You know, it's gonna be disgusting, fucking completely hung over
Speaker 1: her head pounding, She's like, I need to get into
Speaker 1: the fucking the pharmacy to get something for this headache,
Speaker 1: and she's gonna step into a fucking thing of shrimp.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be all screen, and you know she's gonna
Speaker 1: have like open toad shoes on. Oh thanks, louis perfect.
Speaker 1: Then to the fucking evening.
Speaker 2: Now the smell, because it's gonna be shrimp that's been
Speaker 2: sitting out for hours.
Speaker 1: Eryl Katz are roaming the hallways.
Speaker 2: So that's the episode. Let's shut it down, Part two.
Speaker 1: Shut it down, Shut it.
Speaker 2: Down, douncate. And this is the point in the show
Speaker 2: where we talk about yellow lights. What doesn't yell light me?
Speaker 2: So to remind you, we're scoring this on a scale
Speaker 2: of one to five yellow lights. One is the worst
Speaker 2: taxi episode and five is the best taxi episode, Father Malone,
Speaker 2: As is our custom, we're going to throw it to
Speaker 2: you first. What do you give Shut It Down? Parts
Speaker 2: one and two?
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say three three yellow lights. I think that
Speaker 1: sounds about fair, because there's a lot of stupidity between
Speaker 1: both episodes. There's newspaper boys walking in to make a joke,
Speaker 1: there's the overall rapiness of the scenario. There's lots of
Speaker 1: little comedic business that the show is better than, particularly
Speaker 1: when they're dealing with an episode like this. But performances
Speaker 1: are all great. Anytime they can feature Marri Lou Henter
Speaker 1: in more than just a oh Alex kind of a role,
Speaker 1: I'm happy, and she fucking is so goddamn funny throughout
Speaker 1: this entire thing. It also reminds me that, and I
Speaker 1: think you can relate to this HP that when redheads
Speaker 1: get angry, they get really scary. So like when she's
Speaker 1: just sitting in that chair in the fucking bar, and
Speaker 1: the fury in those eyes, it's like Jesus Christ run.
Speaker 2: It's fury, but it's also numbed by all of the
Speaker 2: alcohol that she's consumed, so there's an element of you
Speaker 2: don't know what she's going to do, Like she's just
Speaker 2: sedated herself into a catatonia almost, but she's got anger
Speaker 2: in those.
Speaker 1: That's when the Redheads aren't the fucking scariest.
Speaker 2: So this I struggled with this one a lot to
Speaker 2: bottom alone, because what I want to do. I really
Speaker 2: want to give this at least four yellow lights. I
Speaker 2: want to because of everything I love about it. We
Speaker 2: have to recap We have inspector Riager that we've already
Speaker 2: talked about that's got to be worth a yellow light
Speaker 2: right there.
Speaker 1: That coat might be worth an extra yellow light.
Speaker 2: On my part, the comedic business between Louis and the
Speaker 2: Lane is just phenomenal, really really funny stuff, all timer
Speaker 2: stuff between the two of them. But I can't overlook.
Speaker 2: I mean it's hard. I guess we never really did
Speaker 2: talk about the fact that when we grade these episodes,
Speaker 2: are we supposed to be grading them with a modern
Speaker 2: view In other words, if there's something that we don't
Speaker 2: that is unpalatable to a modern viewer, do we dock
Speaker 2: them just for that?
Speaker 1: No, because I don't think the intent of anyone here
Speaker 1: is a rapiness sort of the scenario, even though he's
Speaker 1: a gropy motherfucker. Like this was nineteen eighty, you know,
Speaker 1: it was a primitive time. We were living like Cavean
Speaker 1: back then. I was tethered to the wall when I
Speaker 1: needed to talk on the telephone. These were dark times.
Speaker 2: If we accept the premise that a favorable rating is
Speaker 2: in no way condoning some of the things that happened
Speaker 2: in the episode, if we're dealing just strictly on the
Speaker 2: humor and and the elements that make it a classic episode,
Speaker 2: I guess I'm going to give it four yellow lights.
Speaker 2: I have to stand by that. That's my gut. I
Speaker 2: give it four yellow lights. Father alone gives it three.
Speaker 2: That's gonna do it for this episode of night, mister Walters,
Speaker 2: Father Malone, what are you? Where can the folks find you?
Speaker 2: When you're not clocked into the garage.
Speaker 1: You can find me over at midnight viewing the Horror
Speaker 1: Anthology podcast, which is it's on twice a week Mondays
Speaker 1: and Fridays or Sundays and Thursdays, depending on when I
Speaker 1: finish things. So go check that out.
Speaker 2: I say this every week, but the Weekly Roundup is
Speaker 2: my favorite of the podcasts that Father Alone, and he
Speaker 2: produces an awful lot of content a lot and it's
Speaker 2: all quality, but it's my favorite. Don't forget Also, Father Malone.
Speaker 2: You have a Patreon do you not?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Patreon dot com slash Father Alone, where HP
Speaker 1: and I do a Patreon only subscriber show called Cable
Speaker 1: Box Theater where we take a look at Broadway shows
Speaker 1: that were put on video tape for cable networks in
Speaker 1: their early days the seventies and eighties, when they didn't
Speaker 1: know what the fuck they were doing.
Speaker 2: So check that out and give, give, give. He's he
Speaker 2: works hard for the money, so hard for the money,
Speaker 2: and he's worth it. So for myself, you can find
Speaker 2: me also on the Weirdingway Network. I have picked up
Speaker 2: the reins on a podcast called Noise Junkies, which has
Speaker 2: been a lot of fun. Some new episodes on that.
Speaker 2: Check that out. I am an occasional guest on the
Speaker 2: Culture Cast with Christashu as well. I have a band
Speaker 2: campsite Hpmusicplace dot bandcamp dot com, very very close to
Speaker 2: an actual new release. Stay tuned for that. Thank you
Speaker 2: so much for listening. Please feel free to subscribe to
Speaker 2: this podcast, write a review, or rate us. We'd love
Speaker 2: to hear from you in any way you see fit
Speaker 2: so for myself and for Father Malone, thank you again
Speaker 2: for listening, and we'll see you all again next time.
Speaker 2: By mister Walters